MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Jesus fucking Christ
This is so not how I wanted to spend today!
I mean, why the fuck do we have to do this every single year?
MyCuteLittleTwat
Um... probably because it's Christmas?
Which is something that happens every year? ๐คจ
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Exactly!
So why can't we just skip it at least once every few years?
MyCuteLittleTwat
Let me guess
Debbie put you on reindeer duty again?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Oh yeah
She somehow made it "my thing"
But I don't remember volunteering
MyCuteLittleTwat
Don't be bitter, it provokes wrinkles ๐
And it's better than hanging up Christmas lights or decorating the tree
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Yeah that's easy for you to say
You're not the one who has to walk up and down the stairs a million times to get these fuckers down
MyCuteLittleTwat
So thanks to Deb, you're basically getting a free workout right now? ๐
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
I'll give you a workout!
With my dick!
MyCuteLittleTwat
Mmmhm ๐คค
That's my favorite kind of workout
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Don't we all know ๐
But seriously
I have no idea how she manages to fit them all in the attic
Considering the amount of useless things she has here
I've already tripped over something twice
I'm in serious danger of breaking something
MyCuteLittleTwat
aw, you poor baby
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Asshole
I'm just gonna throw them in the trash
Santa can take the herd back to the North Pole
MyCuteLittleTwat
I wouldn't joke about that
You know how much they mean to her
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Who says I'm joking?
MyCuteLittleTwat
Just get into the Christmas spirit ๐
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Yeah, that's very hard to do without a proper booze
Even the eggnog tastes like someone has already drunk it and vomited it back into my glass
MyCuteLittleTwat
You're disgusting ๐คฎ
MyHotAsFuckBoyfrined
And bored out of my fucking mind!
MyCuteLittleTwat
Just suck it up
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
I would much rather have you sucking my dick right now ๐
Seriously, when are you getting here?
It's not even actual Christmas yet and I'm already losing my damn mind
MyCuteLittleTwat
Not sure
Molly's making me wrap presents with her
And I promised my mom I'd help her decorate the house
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Great
So no fucking in Michael's old room today
MyCuteLittleTwat
And here I thought you were just missing my irresistible presence
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Duh
You have to be present for me to fuck you
MyCuteLittleTwat
Always the romantic
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Just get here soon
I wanna give you a big smooch under the mistletoe
MyCuteLittleTwat
I'll do my best, I promise ๐
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
I hope so
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to break a few bones in order to get these fucking reindeer down before Debbie has a mental breakdown
MyCuteLittleTwat
Just don't break anything important
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Trust me, I'd rather break my neck than my dick
But luckily, I'm far from being even remotely hard, so we don't have to worry about that
MyCuteLittleTwat
Well, that's a relief ๐คฃ
Because I have some kinky plans for tonight
You wanna hear more?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
I'd love to
But I'm pretty sure I won't be alive
MyCuteLittleTwat
Don't be such a drama queen ๐
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
No, I'm dead serious
Debbie's gonna murder me
MyCuteLittleTwat
And why would she do that?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Because I just accidentally ripped off Rudolph's antlers
MyCuteLittleTwat
Oh my god!
How the fuck did you do that?! ๐ฒ
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
I don't know!
He was stuck and I just pulled on his antlers and here we are
MyCuteLittleTwat
You are so dead
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Thanks Einstein
What the fuck do I do now?
MyCuteLittleTwat
Do you have duct tape?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Duct tape?
What the hell am I gonna do with it?
Shut Debbie up?
MyCuteLittleTwat
Glue, then? ๐คจ
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Yeah, in my back pocket
I'll just take it out
No, Justin, I don't have fucking glue on me!
MyCuteLittleTwat
Well, then it was nice knowing you
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Do you think she's gonna notice Rudolph is missing?
MyCuteLittleTwat
Yeah, Brian, I'm pretty sure she's gonna notice
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Fuck my life
This is exactly why I hate Christmas!
I'm so skipping it next year
MyCuteLittleTwat
Yeah, I'm sure
Cause you're gonna be dead
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Thanks for reminding me
MyCuteLittleTwat
Quick question
Where did you hide my presents?
I wouldn't want them to be lost forever
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Oh fuck you
MyCuteLittleTwat
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
To be continued.
Taylor-Kinney is the author of 33 other stories.
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