Chapter 14

“I missed this,” Justin sighed happily as his head rested on Brian's chest.

They had just made love for the first time in over a year and it had been so good. It had been everything he had dreamed it would be and so much more. Brian had been so gentle, so caring when he had prepared him for their lovemaking and the moment he had entered him, had started making love to him in front of the fireplace had just been phenomenal.

Brian ran his fingers over Justin's arm and hummed happily in response.

They stayed like that for almost half an hour, just enjoying being together again like this before Justin slowly moved up and looked down at Brian's face from his position higher up.

“Brian,” he started, his voice sounding serious but also sad.

Brian frowned. “Now who is having second thoughts?” He tried to joke but was feeling too scared that Justin might have changed his mind again. Might tell him now that as nice as this had been, he couldn't move in here with Brian. Brian braced himself as he waited for Justin's reply.

Justin shook his head slowly, but still looked incredibly sad. “I am not having second thoughts,” he said quietly.

“Before you start again, I am not naive. I know what I am getting into. I've spoken to Daphne, hell, I've heard everything you told me before you left. I've read every fucking article on your fucking life in the last month... I am not running into this blindly. I know what your life is like and I can honestly tell you, I don't give a shit! I want to be with you. And I know that we can figure this out together if you just give this a chance,” Brian said heatedly, leaning up on his elbows to be closer to Justin's serious face.

Justin smiled slightly as he ran a hand through Brian's hair. “I wasn't going to say any of that.”

When Brian looked at him doubtfully, Justin repeated what he had said. “I really wasn't.”

“Then what were you going to say?” Brian asked, now fully sitting up and bracing himself for whatever Justin had to say. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good or Justin wouldn't have turned so serious so quickly.

“I love you, Brian. And I want this...,” Justin waved his arm around, indicating the house. “I really do... It seems like a dream come true...”

When Justin didn't continue, Brian took his hand and squeezed it. “But?” he asked quietly, looking at the younger man from worried eyes.

“I can't just move to Pittsburgh. I can't just leave New York like that. My whole life is in New York. Daphne and Lizzie are in New York. I can't... I won't just leave my daughter, Brian. I can't.”

Brian stayed quiet for the longest time, then slowly got up. He wrapped one of the sheets they had put on the floor before they had made love around his body and urged Justin to do the same. The younger man did, clearly confused by what was happening and then followed Brian through the house as he led the way up to the second floor.

Much to Justin's confusion, they didn't stay on the second floor though, but moved up a small staircase at the end of the hallway that led to what looked like an old attic. When they arrived up in the attic, Justin frowned though because this space looked nothing like an attic.

The large room had a glass roof and was illuminated by the last rays of sunshine from the setting sun.

“I have no idea what the previous owners did with this attic and why it has a fucking glass roof, but I thought this might work nicely for a studio,” Brian said, now clearly insecure, not knowing how Justin would react to what he was seeing.

“I remember you telling me that you needed a lot of natural light in your studio when you showed me your place in New York,” he continued, walking further into the attic. “You can't get more natural light than this, can you?”

Justin looked around the room wide-eyed and was amazed. This was at least twice the size of his studio space in New York and Brian was right, you couldn't get more natural light than through this glass roof.

“This is amazing,” he said, clearly shocked by the surprise this attic had been. He had expected an old, dusty storage space under the roof of the house, but this was completely different, so much better.

“I know your agent is in New York, that your art shows are in New York, but I thought that maybe... maybe you could also paint from here? Turn this into a studio...”

Justin looked at Brian and Brian could see a happiness on the younger man's face that he hadn't seen there often before. This was real happiness and it made him happy to see Justin so happy. “I love this, Brian,” he breathed out, then walked closer to the older man. “But,” he started, only to be stopped by Brian who placed a gentle kiss on his lips in order to shut him up.

When their kiss ended, Brian pulled Justin with him once more. “You haven't seen everything yet,” Brian said mysteriously, then led Justin back down to the ground floor.

They walked into the kitchen and then Brian led Justin through a door that led into the garage which was connected to the house through this door in the kitchen.

Justin wasn't quite sure why Brian had led him to the garage and he felt even more confused when Brian pulled him all the way through the garage which would easily have space to park three cars, if not even more.

Once they reached the other end of the garage, Brian opened a door and led Justin into another kitchen. This time smaller than the one they had previously been in, but still equipped with everything you could ask for. 

He led Justin through the kitchen and they stopped in what could only be described as another living-room. Justin frowned, not quite sure what he was looking at.

“This used to be the old servants’ quarters. The previous owners made it into a separate apartment for their adult daughter. It's a two-bedroom place with separate entrance but connected to the main house via the garage. I offered it to Daphne,” Brian ended, waiting for Justin's reaction.

He eyed the younger man for the longest time, watching the surprise on his face as he processed what Brian had just told him.

“You what?”

“I asked Daphne if she'd like to make this her place,” Brian said again, watching the disbelief on Justin's face.

“I can't believe you did that,” Justin breathed out, looking at Brian from wide eyes.

“I knew that you wouldn't want to be away from Lizzie and Daphne... so when the realtor showed me this place, I immediately thought of her.”

“Brian, I can't ask you to do this,” Justin started, shaking his head in disbelief. “It's one thing to want to move in with me, but... Daphne and Lizzie? I can't ask you to take on my whole family.”

“You're not asking me to do anything. I am offering,” Brian said quietly, taking Justin's hands and holding them tightly. “I know how much you love your daughter and how much you want to be a part of her life. I knew there wouldn't be a chance in hell that you would move to Pittsburgh with her and Daphne staying in New York, so... I spoke to Daphne and... she thinks that getting away from New York would be great for you and Lizzie. She thinks it would be a great way for your lives to calm down again, for you all to move on from the media circus of the last few weeks.”

“You have been planning this whole thing with her?” Justin sounded amazed more than anything.

“I love you, Justin! And I want to be with you. I want this to be our home and I think we can be really happy here, but... I am not a complete idiot. I wouldn't have bought this house if there hadn't been any chance of you ever moving here. So yeah, I've talked to Daphne, told her about my idea and she liked it. She really loves you, Justin and she wants this for you. She wants you to be happy more than anything.”

Justin chuckled, then hid his head in his hands. “I can't believe that you've planned all this with her.”

“It will always be your decision, but I want to see you happy more than anything because you deserve that happiness more than anyone I know. And she wants to see you and Lizzie happy as well. Speak to her, but don't just assume that you can't try to build a life here because of her. She loved the house.”

“She's already seen it?” Justin's eyes widened in surprise. “Before me?”

“I sent her some images. If she had told me that you would hate it, I would have continued looking for something else,” Brian admitted quietly.

“This house is amazing,” Justin whispered. “It's everything I could have asked for and so much more, but... it sounds like this is all about me. What about you?”

“Me?” Now it was Brian's turn to frown.

“You bought this house for me because you knew I'd like my privacy, because you know about the media attention that comes with who I am. You bought a house with perfect studio space for my art and which even has a space for my best friend and daughter. It's the perfect place for me, but what about you? This is the complete opposite of your loft. This is what I want, but what about what you want?” Justin asked, looking at Brian seriously.

“I have everything that I want right here,” Brian replied seriously, pulling Justin closer and holding him tight. “I want to be with you, Justin. I want us to try and build a life together. As long as I have you, I don't care where we live or who lives with us.”

“Are you sure?” Justin asked, looking at Brian from insecure eyes. “I don't want you to regret this one day.”

Brian sighed, resting his forehead against Justin's. “I might come to regret this one day, but so might you. We don't know what's going to happen. We don't know if this will work out or not. I know you're worried about me getting into something I have no idea about, but what if you're the one who'll be fed up with me? What if you're the one who wants to leave? We don't know what is going to happen, we don't know how any of this is going to end, but if we don't give it a try, we'll never know. And who knows? It might all work out and we might be really happy here.”

Justin rubbed his nose against Brian's, smiling at him. “I think we could be really happy here.”

“I know we can be,” Brian replied, before he leaned in for another kiss.

They kissed for several minutes before they broke apart breathlessly.

Brian was the first one to speak again. “I know there are things we need to talk about. About your life, your family. My family. What this will mean for us and everything, but I want us to give this a try. I really do!”

Justin nodded, looking at Brian from shining eyes. Eyes that were shining with happiness and unshed tears. “So do I!”

Brian nodded, then leaned in once more and kissed Justin once more. Within seconds hands were roaming all over each other's bodies and it didn't even take a minute for the sheets to fall onto the floor and for the two naked men to fall onto them in a heap of tangled limbs.

They kissed and made out for several minutes before Justin breathlessly pulled apart. “I want you to make love to me.”

Brian nodded, leaned down for another kiss, but then pulled back with a frown on his face.

“What?” Justin asked, seeing the frown on Brian's face.

“We need to return to the study,” Brian said as he pulled Justin up, who was confused by what Brian was doing.

“What? Why?”

“Well, I doubt that Daphne would appreciate if we had sex on her living-room floor, but even more than that... the condoms are in the study,” Brian explained, already pulling Justin with him as he made his way back through the kitchen to the garage.

Justin snorted. “For real?”

Brian stopped for a second and just looked down his naked body. “Unless you have condoms with you right now...”

Justin shook his head, still laughing and followed Brian back through the garage into the main house.

A minute later they were back in the study and in front of the fireplace once more.

Brian grabbed the lube and condoms as soon as they hit the floor and immediately started kissing Justin again who was still giggling like a schoolgirl.

He stopped soon enough though, when Brian's tongue slid down his upper body and followed his treasure trail down to Justin's hard cock. When Brian took the erect member into his mouth, Justin's giggling died immediately and was replaced by moaning.

Brian gave Justin a blowjob and swallowed every last drop of cum when the younger man finally came.

Once Justin had regained control over his breathing and was coming down to earth again, Brian gently moved him over onto his stomach and started preparing him.

Justin was still opened up from their first round of lovemaking, so it didn't take Brian long before he slid into the warm opening with his erect cock and buried himself deep inside the man he loved.

Justin's hips met Brian's in every thrust and soon after Brian came into the condom. They both groaned, then sank down on the floor into a big heap of sweaty, tangled limbs.

It took a few minutes before they could speak again and it was Brian who spoke first. “We still have it...”

Justin grinned and nodded. “We sure do...that was amazing.”

“I was a fool to ever think that I could live without this,” Brian whispered, slowly rolling down from Justin's body and lying next to him.

The younger man immediately moved into Brian's arms and settled in his embrace with a happy sigh. “So was I.”

“I am glad you finally realized that,” Brian teased, running a hand through Justin's sweaty hair.

When Justin hid his head in Brian's shoulder and didn't respond, Brian frowned. “You okay? I was joking.”

Justin nodded but didn't say anything.

“Hey... Sunshine?” Brian frowned even more and pulled back to look at the younger man. “We're fine.”

Justin nodded, raising his eyes to meet Brian's concerned gaze. “I am sorry that I put you through this, Brian. I... my life is a mess and... I am a mess...”

“Shhhh,” Brian said quietly, running a hand over Justin's cheek in a tender caress. “And I have no idea about how to be in a relationship. I'd say we make a fine couple.”

Justin smiled. “Couple. I never thought I'd hear you say that word and not break out in a sweat.”

“Well, I couldn't always stay an over the hill club boy. It was time that I finally grew up as well,” Brian admitted. “Maybe it's time to see what this whole relationship deal is all about. Enough people seem to like it.”

Justin chuckled in response. “I think I could get used to it.”

Brian nodded. “To be fair, we didn't do too bad the first time around.”

Justin mock gasped. “Did you just say we were in a relationship before?”

“I told you it might have been fucked up, but I think many people would have in fact considered it a relationship,” Brian replied seriously.

“I did,” Justin admitted, then hid his face in Brian's shoulder after he had made that admission.

Brian tightened his hold around Justin's body and pulled the younger man closer. “I promise I'll do better this time around.”

Justin looked into Brian's eyes for the longest time, then nodded. “So will I.”

They kissed once more to seal their promises.

After the kiss had ended, Justin rested his head on Brian's shoulder. He gently ran a hand over Brian's chest and just enjoyed them being together like this.

They were quiet for the longest time before Justin's voice broke the comfortable silence. “I don't want you to sell Babylon and the loft.”

“Justin, I...,” Brian started, but Justin raised his head to look at Brian and shook his head.

“No, I don't want you to. Babylon is your business. A successful business and you shouldn't sell it because of me. It's a gay night club, so what? You are gay. I am gay. And owning a night club is not illegal.”

“Justin, I know that a gay night club owner isn't really what people are expecting when they look at the partner of a royal,” Brian said quietly.

“I don't care,” Justin said, his voice now sounding slightly more agitated. “All my life I cared about other people's expectations, but I am not doing it any longer. You were right. Daphne was right. This is my life and I have a right to be happy. And I am happy with you: Brian Kinney, owner of Kinnetik and Babylon. I am not going to apologize for loving you or even hide loving you. You have always been who you are and maybe...maybe one day I can be, too.”

Brian eyed Justin for the longest time and could see how serious he was about what he had just said. He held him close as he spoke.

“I know you can, Sunshine.”

“And they can only kick me out of the family once, right? So, who gives a fuck what my mother and her fucking advisers think? I might as well make it worth their while.”

Brian could hear how agitated Justin's voice had become and he looked at the man in his arms in concern.

“Hey, you okay?”

Justin nodded but didn't say anything and Brian could see how troubled he looked.

“Tell me about it,” Brian said quietly, running a hand over Justin's naked back.

“Not much to tell,” Justin sighed. “I am a disgrace to the legacy of our family...,” Justin shrugged at that point and even though he tried to act like it didn't matter, Brian could hear how hurt he was. “I have besmirched the family name and now they have kicked me out.”

“It might not seem that way now but from everything I have heard that sounds like a good thing rather than a bad thing,” Brian said seriously.

Justin was about to open his mouth and respond, but Brian held his index finger to Justin's lips.

“No, listen. You told me yourself that you never wanted this life. Daphne told me how much you have hated this life all your life... I've heard about the way your mother has treated you and your sister... and... I know right now it doesn't look that way, but maybe one day, this will be a blessing in disguise. At least now you have a chance to move forward and to finally have the life you always wanted. You have a best friend that cares so much about you and your happiness, you have a beautiful daughter that will grow up without the pressures that you grew up with. You have your art and can concentrate on creating your masterpieces, not having to worry about anything else. And you have me. I know everything is a mess right now, but maybe... in a few weeks, you'll start to realize that things aren't so bad after all.”

Justin was quiet for the longest time, then lowered his head. His voice was quiet when he spoke. “I know that you're right... I fucking know... It just...”

“Hurts,” Brian finished for him and still held him close. “I know.”

And he did. He knew how much it hurt to want nothing more than for your mother to love you and to not get that love in return, no matter what you tried to do to make her happy. He knew only too well.

Justin met Brian's gaze and nodded. They stayed quiet for the longest time before Justin spoke again.

“I am sorry. You did all of this... thought of everything and here I am pulling you down with my problems...”

“Don't apologize,” Brian said, leaning in for a gentle kiss. “I want you to be honest with me about how you feel. I want to make you feel better if I can...”

“I could think of a way or two that you could,” Justin said seductively and Brian realized that the time for serious conversation was over. Justin apparently didn't want to talk about it anymore and wanted to move on and for the moment Brian would be only too happy to do as his young partner wanted. He wanted to make Justin feel better and if he could make him forget about the shit show that was his family, if only for a short time, he would.

“Can you? Hmmm.... I wonder what those ways might be,” Brian smirked, following Justin's lead and smiling as the younger man slid down his body and started licking down his chest and stomach and down his treasure trail to his penis that was already hardening again.