Chapter 27

Brian pulled back and looked at Justin.

“Your mother?”

They hadn't heard from her at all since Justin had pretty much been kicked out of the royal family and had moved to Britin. They hadn't heard from her at all when they had announced their relationship, they hadn't heard from her at all when Justin had started his campaigning for causes that meant a lot to him, they hadn't even heard from her at Christmas or on her granddaughter's birthdays. So why now?

“Why now?”

Justin shrugged. “I don't really know. Her secretary mentioned the state visit to Washington, but I don't think that's really the reason.”

“What do you think?” Brian asked, looking at Justin and watching him closely for any indication on how he was feeling about any of this.

“The two years are up soon,” Justin just muttered, then moved away from Brian's hug and towards the couch in the room. He flopped down and ran a hand over his face.

Brian followed him and sat down next to him. “You think that's the reason?”

“Why else? She left us alone for nearly two years. Nobody contacted us, not a single call or message. It's the only reason that makes sense.”

“Did she mention anything about that when you spoke to her?”

Justin met Brian's gaze and shook his head. “I didn't speak to her. Her secretary called this morning.”

Right, Brian thought to himself. Justin had said that earlier. “So nothing from her?”

Justin sighed and shook his head. “I am not surprised though. This is how our family works. My mother would never just pick up a phone and call unless an adviser told her to do so or called the number for her. The only times I saw her growing up was when they needed pictures to release to the press on certain special dates, like birthdays or for Christmas. She couldn't be bothered with me or Molly other than that.”

Brian ran a hand over Justin's back. “I am sorry, Sunshine.”

Justin shrugged. “It's not like I am not used to it. We were never the loving family you see on TV. She was never the mother that took us to bed and told us bedtime stories or hugged us when we fell down and our knees were bleeding. We had nannies for that.”

“Still,” Brian said quietly, pulling Justin close. “She's your mother.”

“A mother that thinks I am a disgrace to the family, that I have brought nothing but shame to our family name.”

Justin's voice had sounded bitter when he had spoken and Brian felt for his partner. “She's still your mother though. And I know that you're hurt by her behavior.”

“I had one duty and I failed at that. I was the crown prince, the heir and I failed at that. I have no importance to her any longer,” Justin said resignedly, resting his head on Brian's shoulder.

“That's not true,” Brian said, instinctively pulling Justin closer. “You are her son.”

Justin pulled back slightly and met Brian's concerned gaze. “You know as well as I do that that doesn't mean anything to certain mothers.”

And Brian couldn't reply anything to that because Justin was right. How could he go on about how there must have been some love between Justin and his mother when he himself had a mother that could never be bothered to love and accept him either? Justin was right, Brian knew exactly that her being Justin's mother didn't mean anything at all. Certain people just were like that.

“Don't go,” Brian said after the longest pause, looking at Justin, not surprised when the younger man immediately shook his head.

“I have to,” he just said, then hung his head. “She's still the queen and I am a subject and she demanded my presence.”

“That's bullshit,” Brian muttered. “She didn't care for two years how you were doing, how Lizzie was doing. Who gives a fuck if she's a queen? This is your life and if you don't want to go and see her, fucking don't! You're in the US, there's nothing she can do about it.”

Justin looked at Brian and couldn't help but smile. “My knight in shining armor.” He leaned in and kissed Brian gently. “I have to, Brian. Whether I want to or not.”

Brian had heard the resignation in Justin's voice and knew that Justin meant it. Even if it was out of a wrong sense of duty. Knowing that there wasn't anything he could do to convince Justin otherwise, Brian nodded.

“Alright, but then I'll come with you.”

Justin sighed. “Brian...”

“No, I won't let you do this on your own. Whatever she has to say to you, she can say to both of us.”

Shaking his head slowly, Justin ran his hand up and down Brian's arm. “I appreciate the offer, Brian, but I think this is something I have to do on my own.”

Brian eyed Justin for the longest time and once again knew that it would be damn hard to convince him otherwise.

“Fine,” he finally accepted, pulling the younger man close. “But I will come to Washington with you. You won't stop me from being there for you afterwards.”

To clean up the mess Justin's mother would undoubtedly cause. To pick up the pieces once she had hurt Justin once more.

Brian never said any of that, but both Brian and Justin knew that this was what he really meant.

Knowing that there was no way he would get Brian to change his mind and secretly quite glad for his support, Justin nodded in agreement. “Okay.”

***

A week later they had made their way to Washington to meet Justin's mother. Just like Brian had insisted to come to Washington with Justin, Daphne had insisted to join her best friend as well. She had insisted that she knew Justin's mother and the court and procedures around it better than anyone and there was no way she would let her friend walk into this without her support.

At first Justin had been against Daphne joining him, but in the end he had had to realize that just like Brian, she had already made up her mind and that nothing would change it. She would come along whether he wanted her to or not.

Brian had secretly been glad for her support, knowing that she was a lot more familiar with Justin's family and his reactions to his mother than he himself was and he hoped that between the two of them Justin would be fine at the end of the meeting with his mother.

They had left Lizzie in Pittsburgh with Debbie and Carl, not wanting to subject her to whatever would happen on this visit. The little girl had been sad about her parents going somewhere without her, but had been cheered up by the prospect of staying with Debbie and Carl. She loved Debbie, her colorful outfits and language and loved how there was always something exciting going on at Debbie's house.

They would only be gone for two days and had promised Lizzie to call her every day they were gone.

Justin had an appointment with his mother at 3pm and he had been nervous all morning when the day came. Brian tried to be as supportive as he could, but the closer the meeting got, the more Justin pulled back into his own mind.

When it was time to leave, he gave Brian a quick kiss, a sad smile and then left. Brian was worried, but quickly forgot about his worry when Daphne announced a minute later that she would be heading out as well.

Brian looked at her as if she had grown a second head. How could she leave now? When Justin had his meeting with his mother and would need her afterwards?

She assured him that she would only be gone for an hour or two and that what she was doing was in Justin's best interest. Other than that she didn't give Brian any hints on where she was heading and just left him on his own to wait at the hotel for Justin to return.

***

“Mother,” Justin said politely and bowed to his mother as he was led into the room where she was meeting with him on this visit.

It was a big office style room in a suite in a five star hotel and Justin had expected nothing less. His mother liked to travel in style and demanded certain luxuries in and outside of the palace.

She barely nodded at him in greeting and pointed to a chair across the desk from her. “Sit down, Justinus!”

Somebody else might have been surprised by the lack of greeting after not seeing him for almost two years, but not Justin. His mother had never been what other people considered loving and nurturing and her whole life had always consisted of the crown and her duty to the royal family. As queen there just was no time for things like love and feelings. Or so she claimed.

Justin sat down and looked at her expectantly.

She looked at some papers in front of her, it seemed like pictures to Justin, but he couldn't really see from his side of the desk and it took her a minute or two to direct her attention to him.

“I have no words for how disappointed I am in you,” she started, her voice cold and businesslike.

“Excuse me?” Justin frowned, not sure if he had heard correctly.

“You have heard me, Justinus!”

“Yeah, but I can't believe that those are your first words to me after not seeing me for nearly two years,” Justin replied back before he could think better of it.

His mother's eyes became small slits and it was apparent that she was not happy with his comment.

“You know very well how disappointed I have been by your choices and looking at things, you haven't done anything to change your life in a better direction,” she said seriously.

“I have moved in with a man that loves me and we have built a home for us and our family,” Justin said, looking at her as if she was crazy. “I have been happy, Mother!”

His mother wrinkled her nose. “That man,” she started, only to be interrupted by Justin right away.

“Brian. His name is Brian.”

“That man... you know about his past, I assume?”

“Of course, I do. I have known him for years.”

“So, you know that he has been sleeping with hundreds of men... that his father was a drunk and abusive and that his mother is an alcoholic as well.”

Justin sighed impatiently. “Of course I do. Why are you asking me this?”

“And you think a man like that is a suitable companion for a royal?”

“I don't care about his past... or his parents. He's not responsible for decisions that his parents have made. He loves me, he loves Lizzie and we are very happy.”

“And you allow him to live in a house with you and your wife?” His mother asked, raising an eyebrow.

“My ex-wife. You know very well that Daphne and I got divorced,” Justin said, feeling himself getting angry. “And she is living with us. Brian bought this house for us. Not the other way round.”

“Do you know what kind of image you are portraying to the outside world?”

Justin eyed his mother as if she was crazy. Of course he knew. How could he not? He was aware of the press articles written about him. He knew about pictures taken of him and Brian, of him and Daphne, of Brian and Daphne. He knew what the press had been writing about them after they had realized that any stories about a war between Brian and Daphne were bullshit.

“That we are a modern blended family that is making it work for the sake of our daughter,” he said quietly.

“It is not appropriate, Justinus! As if it's not already bad enough that you have decided to live with a man, you have to pull your wife and daughter into this mess as well?”

“My ex-wife,” Justin pressed out once more. “And I have not decided anything, mother. I told you before and I am telling you again: I didn't choose to be gay. I just am. It's not a choice. I was born this way!”

His mother shook her head, obviously not happy with what he had said.

“Please, Justinus! We both know that you have been happy with Daphne. You had a daughter together after all. And then one day you just threw all of that away for … sex... with a man.”

She made a face that showed what she thought about that.

“Daphne has always been my best friend and as such I have loved her, but nothing more. And she has always known that I am gay. She knew that I was gay before I knew it. She agreed to marry me because we both knew that you and Dad would never accept that I was gay. Yes, we had a daughter, because we knew it was expected of us, but we have never been in love or happily married. It was a sham from the day she offered to marry me,” Justin said quietly.

“And you couldn't have pretended longer? To save us all the embarrassment of that scandal of yours?” His mother asked, eyeing him over the desk.

“My only regret is that I ever agreed to this sham in the first place and didn't stop it from happening altogether,” Justin gave back right away. “It would have saved Daphne, Brian and me so much pain.”

“What about your family? Have you ever thought about the embarrassment you have caused us? You have caused the crown?”

Justin eyed his mother and shook his head. “How could I ever forget when you remind me every time I see you?”

“You realize that there is no way I can allow you to ever take the crown once I pass it on?” His mother asked next, not replying to what he had said previously.

Justin's eyes widened in surprise. Not because of what she had said, but had his mother really thought that he still wanted to be king? After everything?

“I wouldn't want it anyway,” he said full of conviction. “I have never wanted it. This was never a life I have wanted.”

“It's your duty, Justinus.”

“My only duty is to myself and my happiness,” Justin gave back, saying what Brian had told him so long ago when they had been trying to figure out where to go with their relationship. And he realized more now than ever how right Brian had been. “The crown... this family... all the rules and pomp... that has never been my life.”

“Is that what this man has been putting in your head these last two years?” His mother raised her eyebrow again, looking down her nose at Justin.

“Brian,” Justin repeated, though he doubted that it would make any difference. “Brian has shown me that there is more to my life than duty and unhappiness. Brian has shown me that I can be happy as well. That I deserve happiness as well. Does it even matter to you at all that I am happy? Or do you really not care?”

“I care about the cost your egoism has on this family. On the crown and its reputation,” his mother responded coldly. “Do you realize how much damage you have done to the institution of monarchy in our country?”

Justin shook his head. “You really don't care at all whether I am happy or not, do you? You would rather have me unhappy and depressed, doing my duty as crown prince than live a happy life.”

“We don't have the pleasure of choosing, Justinus. Our life consists of duty and service to the crown. I thought we had taught you that, but apparently not.”

“You taught me nothing. You and Dad barely talked to me. As soon as you could, you shipped me and Molly off to boarding schools. Before that you had nannies take care of us. You never taught me anything,” Justin muttered, shaking his head in anger. “You didn't care how unhappy I was. You didn't care that I got bullied at school. You didn't care what I wanted from life. To you I have always been just a big disappointment, haven't I?”

Justin raised his eyes and looked right at his mother, challenging her for a reply.

“Yes,” his mother just said, her voice cold and uncaring. “You had one duty and you failed, Justinus.”

Justin shook his head. “Then why did you summon me here? Why did you want to see me? To tell me again that I am a disappointment? I got the message two years ago.”

His mother eyed him for a few seconds. “The palace will release an announcement soon that you will not return to your duties as crown prince and will no longer be a part of the royal family. It was our joint decision that you are focusing on a different life and that Molly will become crown princess and queen one day.”

“Did she get a choice in this or are you forcing her like you forced me?” Justin asked, not surprised by anything his mother had said.

“Molly knows her duty. She will do her part.”

“I am glad to hear it,” Justin said. “At least you have one child that took your messages about duty and service to heart.”

His mother ignored his comment and held up the images she had been looking at earlier. Justin could now see that these were images of private gatherings with the Liberty Avenue family. A barbecue in Debbie's garden, a pool party at Emmett's house, a breakfast at the diner.

“I want you to stop associating with these people,” she said, nodding towards the pictures. “You might not be a part of the royal family any longer, but associating with riff-raff will only reflect poorly on the crown.”

“You are fucking kidding me..., right?” Justin exclaimed, rising from his chair. He pointed an angry finger at the images. “That is my family! Those are my friends. People that love me and accept me for who I am. Who have welcomed me into their lives and have made me a part of their family. I will do no such thing!”

His mother made a face at his use of the word fucking. “Is that the kind of language they use?”

“I will not give up my family. Forget it!”

“We are your family,” his mother said harshly. “Not these people...”

“These people, as you so deprecatingly call them, were the people that were by my side during the hardest time of my life. When all you could do was tell me what an embarrassment and failure I am, these people supported me, welcomed me into their midst and loved me. If anything, you could learn from them what family is!” Justin's anger had now taken over. He ripped the images from his mother's hands. “I will do no such thing and if you don't stop having me followed, I will make it public that you are spying on me and what you said today. I am sure the gay people of Darumor would love to hear how their queen thinks about them. Because you know? There are gay people everywhere. Even in your precious kingdom!”

“You will regret choosing these people over your own family and your duty!” His mother announced darkly, glaring at him over the desk.

“You know what? I don't think I will,” Justin said, then turned around. He headed towards the door, ignoring his mother when she spoke next.

“Our meeting is not over, Justinus. I have not dismissed you yet.”

Justin stopped at the door and turned back for one final reply. “The name is Justin. I have always hated Justinus and people that care about me call me Justin. And not that it matters, but I will do none of the things you asked of me today. I love my partner, I love my family and I love the life I have now. I have never been as happy as I have been in the last year and a half. I don't care what you think about that and whether you like what my life is now or not. I love it, I love the people in it and you have no say whatsoever. I don't think we have anything else to say to each other, so don't reach out the next time you come to the US, okay?”

With that Justin left her office, slamming the door shut behind himself, making the servants in the next room look after him in confusion.