Chapter 15

Brian slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room in confusion. It took him a minute to remember what had happened and where he was. He didn't immediately recognize the room he was in, but soon enough memories of the previous events came back to him.

Justin had given him a blow job and Brian had returned the favor by giving Justin a rim job. Afterwards they had lain in front of the fireplace and Brian must have fallen asleep.

Now that he was awake again, he realized that darkness had settled over the room and that the fire in the fireplace was the only thing illuminating the study. And he realized that he was alone. Justin wasn't by his side anymore.

He looked around the room, but it was clear that Justin was not in the room. Brian figured that the younger man might have walked off to explore the house, so he forced himself to get up and go in search of his partner.

Partner. Brian smiled to himself as he thought about what this meant. Justin was now his partner. He had admitted that he loved him and wanted to be in a relationship with him and Justin had agreed. Had told him that he loved him as well and wanted to give this relationship in their new home a chance.

Brian hadn't expected to feel so elated. He was happy, truly happy and excited. Excited for what their future would hold, for what their life would be like, but most of all, excited to know that Justin would be by his side for it all.

The last year had been hard and Brian could be honest enough with himself to know that he was partly to blame for how things had ended as well. If he had only given Justin a chance to explain, if he had listened to him when he had wanted to tell him about Daphne and his daughter. Maybe all of this could have been avoided.

Brian shook his head as if to clear his mind as he slowly pulled on his briefs and his jeans. If he had only given Justin a chance to explain a year ago, they might have never ended the way they did. And who knew? If they had never ended, Justin might have never ended up with the guy who had videotaped him and sold the tape to the press. All of this could have been avoided if Brian had only listened to Justin after Lizzie had been rushed to the hospital. Or maybe not... Nobody knew what would have happened if things had been different that day or the days after.

Maybe Brian would have found out about Justin's true identity and would have been scared off by the true knowledge of who the younger man was. He honestly couldn't say.

He didn't like to think about it but maybe being apart from Justin for so long, maybe seeing the shitshow that his life had turned into, was really what had pushed Brian to face his true feelings and to admit what the younger man meant to him. Maybe all of this needed to happen for them to end up here at this point in time.

He honestly couldn't say, all he knew was that he was happy. Happier than he had been in a long time and he knew that it was the same for Justin. Hopefully, with a bit of time, a bit of peace and quiet they would be able to move on from this mess and would be able to build something new, something better. Something true that wasn't built on lies and secrets.

Brian took a deep breath, then forced himself to stop thinking and to actually go searching for his lost partner.

He didn't have to go far and found Justin in the living-room, looking out at the garden with the pool, the forest at the edge of their grounds and everything in between. By now it was pretty dark and you couldn't really see much, but for some reason Brian had a feeling that Justin had been standing there for quite some time already.

Slowly wrapping his arms around his younger partner, he stepped up to him and held him close. “You okay?”

Justin sighed happily and leaned into Brian's embrace. “This is so beautiful, Brian. The house, the garden, everything.”

“You can't really see much right now,” Brian pointed out, resting his chin on Justin's shoulder.

“I saw the pool, the garden, the forest. It's beautiful.”

“It's all part of the grounds,” Brian said quietly. “You saw the gate we went through earlier?” He asked and continued after Justin had nodded. “The whole grounds are walled. All of this is ours. Up to the forest.”

“Really?” Justin's voice sounded amazed. “I didn't know it was this big.”

“It's a real country manor,” Brian said quietly, never letting go of Justin.

“You said there were stables and a tennis court?” Justin remembered what Brian had said earlier.

Brian nodded, slowly turning Justin around in his arms, so the younger man was facing him. “The tennis court is over at Daphne's side of the house. There's a small garden outside her living-room and then there's a path that leads to the tennis court. That way,” he indicated the other end of the garden, “is where the stable is at. It's too dark now, but maybe we can go out and I can show you everything tomorrow or in the next days.”

Justin nodded, his eyes shining with happiness. “I would love that.”

Brian leaned in and kissed Justin, but stepped back a few seconds later when their kiss was interrupted by Justin's stomach loudly complaining about the lack of food he had gotten that day.

“I better get you back to town though, get something to feed you,” Brian joked, watching as Justin blushed crimson in embarrassment.

“It's been a long day,” Justin said as way of defense, but followed Brian back to the study where they both got dressed.

“This is ours now,” Brian said as he put on his shirt and picked up his suit jacket. “We can come back whenever we like.”

Justin nodded, finished getting dressed as well and then followed Brian out of the house and back to his car. A few minutes later, they were back on their way to Pittsburgh, after Brian had pointed out some more features of the property, none of which they could really see in the darkness that now engulfed everything.

Without talking about it, Brian headed straight for the loft. Once they had arrived at the loft, Brian immediately called in an order for Thai, then pulled Justin into his bathroom for a quick shower. They had had sex several times all afternoon and both reeked.

Once out of the shower, Brian watched as Justin took a sheet of paper from his printer and a pencil from his desk, then moved over to his kitchen bar and sat down and started sketching something.

Brian watched him for a couple of minutes, watching how utterly content Justin looked. He got two bottles of beer from the fridge, opened them and then handed one to Justin who thanked him for the beer.

He nodded towards the sketch that Justin was doing. “What's that?”

Justin turned the paper around and pushed it over to where Brian was standing and as Brian looked at it, he recognized that Justin had drawn the living-room of their new house. Only that it was now completely furnished.

“That's amazing,” he exclaimed in obvious wonder, clearly impressed by how accurate Justin's drawing was.

“Do you like it?”

Brian nodded, then took a sip of his beer. “Yeah.”

“I have a couple of ideas... for some of the rooms,” Justin said quietly.

“If they all look like that,” Brian said, nodding towards the sketch Justin had done of the living-room, “buying furniture will be your job.”

Justin chuckled, but it was obvious how much Brian's praise meant to him. They were interrupted by their food being delivered at that point and Justin watched as Brian paid the driver and unpacked their dinner.

They settled at the dining table and started eating. Justin really felt famished and was hungry. Within minutes his plate was empty and he refilled it.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” He suddenly asked, looking up at Brian.

“What exactly? I said a lot,” Brian frowned, then nodded. “Whatever it was, I meant it though, yes.”

“That you want to sell the loft?”

“Oh that,” Brian said, was quiet for a few seconds, then nodded. “Yeah, I meant it.”

“Why?”

Brian shrugged, before he took another bite of his Thai. “If we move out to the house, there's really no need to keep the loft, is there? It's a bachelor pad... a fuckpad... that part of my life is over.”

“You’re not selling your loft. It’s your home,” Justin said seriously, now putting down his chopsticks.

“It’s just four walls and a floor. And top of the line appliances and stainless-steel countertops and imported Italian fixtures and,” Brian stopped, now focusing on his bottle of beer.

Justin eyed him closely. “It’s more than that. It’s where we made love for the first time.”

Brian chuckled humorlessly. “That wasn’t love. I just gave you a rim job and fucked your brains out.”

Justin held Brian's gaze for the longest time, his voice absolutely earnest when he spoke next. “It was love to me.”

“You've always been too romantic for your own good,” Brian shook his head, trying to focus back on their dinner.

Justin wasn't having any of it though. He still looked at Brian from serious eyes. “If this is about money... I know the house can't have been cheap...”

“It has nothing to do with money.”

“I mean, I have money, Brian. I don't want you to sell the loft because you think you must give it up, so you can buy that huge ass mansion for me,” Justin tried once more.

“It's not about money,” Brian only repeated, then looked up and met Justin's eyes. “It really isn't.”

Justin saw the honesty in Brian's gaze and nodded. “Then keep the loft. At least for now.”

Brian smiled ruefully. “You really don't have a lot of trust in this working out if you're already urging me to keep a bachelor pad that I can move back into.”

“It's not that,” Justin said quickly, taking Brian's hand and squeezing it. “I meant what I said earlier. This is where we first made love. I... That means something to me, Brian. We might move into the house, but... I don't want to give up the place where we first spent a night together if we don't have to. And really? A place in the city might come in handy every once in a while. There might be late nights at the office, early morning flights, bad weather conditions in winter... Is it really a bad idea to keep a place in town for emergencies?”

“When you put it like that, it seems like the smart thing to do,” Brian said.

“Just don't sell it yet, okay? Let's hold on to the loft for a while longer... maybe we'll never use it and we'll still decide to sell it, but for now... I can't bring myself to say goodbye to this place.”

Brian had heard the emotions in Justin's voice, had heard how earnest his statement had been and in the end he nodded. He would do anything for that man by his side and maybe Justin was right, maybe keeping the loft would be a good idea in the end. “Okay. We'll keep the loft.”

A sunshine smile spread on Justin's face. “Thank you!”

***

After they had finished dinner, they had ended up in bed once again, both intend on making up for all the missed opportunities to make love over the last 12 months.

“Brian?” Justin said quietly, running his hand over Brian's stomach in gentle movements.

“Hmm?” the older man hummed, too lazy to actually say something.

“Can we go out to the house again tomorrow? I think I have some ideas for the master bedroom and the studio,” Justin said, allowing Brian to hold him close.

“I have to go into the office tomorrow. I have a presentation at 2pm.”

“Oh,” Justin just said, not quite sure what else to say.

“Why don't you go? You can take my car. I've seen the house before. Take your time, explore, take a look around the grounds.”

“Are you sure?” Justin asked, slowly looking up.

Brian nodded. “Yeah. You go ahead. And on the weekend, we can go together and take Gus.”

“Gus?”

Brian nodded once more. “Yeah, I want him to meet you. It's long overdue. And I want him to see the house. I thought he could get his own room there for when he comes to stay with us on the weekends and during his summer holidays.”

“Sounds nice,” Justin said, before he lowered his head and rested it again on Brian's shoulder.

Brian frowned. He wasn't quite sure what reaction he had expected from Justin, but it hadn't been this.

“He'll love you. And he'll love the house. All that space to run around and be wild. It will be like a dream come true for him.”

“Yeah, I am sure it will be,” Justin replied, but his voice sounded slightly off.

Brian slowly sat up and pulled Justin up with him. “What?”

“Nothing. You're right. It sounds like a great idea.”

“You don't have to be nervous. He'll love you. Gus is the most laid-back kid you'll ever meet.”

“I am not nervous,” Justin exclaimed, but his eyes betrayed his true feelings.

“You've got nothing to be worried about, Sunshine. Gus will love you; he'll love the house.”

“And if he doesn't?” Justin asked, in a quiet voice, looking at Brian from insecure eyes.

“We'll deal with it. Why are you so nervous? Were you this worried about me meeting Daphne and Lizzie?”

“That's different,” Justin replied, not looking at Brian as he spoke.

“How? I met your daughter and now I want you to meet my son. It seems only fair that you'll get to meet my kid as well.”

Justin sighed and nodded slowly. “You're right. It's just that... he's ten, not a toddler like Lizzie. She likes everyone who pays her enough attention and gives her toys.”

And it was true. When they had stayed at the Kinnetik suite a few weeks ago, Brian had come by a couple of times bringing some toys for her and she had fallen in love with Brian. She loved him almost as much as Santa Claus because of all the toys he had gotten her.

“Why do you think it'll be any different with Gus?” Brian laughed but stopped when he saw how serious Justin was. He ran a hand over the younger man's shoulders. “Hey, don't worry about it. Gus will love you. And he'll love the house. Trust me, I know him!”

“Those are a lot of changes for a boy his age,” Justin said. “What if he thinks I am like the evil stepmom trying to steal his dad from him? You will move away from Pittsburgh; you'll move in with me and my daughter. What if he'll be jealous and will hate me for it?”

“Oh Sunshine, you worry too much,” Brian said, his face showing how amused he was by the image Justin had just painted. “The house isn't even 30 minutes outside of town. Gus can still come and see me whenever he wants. And he'll get his own room for when he comes and spends the weekends with us. You know that he lives with his moms and his sister. Things won't change much for him. He'll be fine. He won't hate you. He'll like you once he gets to know you.”

“I hope you're right,” Justin muttered, looking at Brian from unsure eyes.

“It will be fine. Don't worry about it now,” Brian said reassuringly, then placed a kiss on Justin's forehead. “And in any case, you'll be the best-looking evil stepmom the world has ever seen.”

Justin rolled his eyes at Brian's comment. “You know what I mean.”

“I do,” Brian said quietly, pulling Justin down with him onto the bed. “And it will be fine. Trust me, okay?”

After the longest pause, Justin finally nodded, allowing Brian to pull him closer. “I just don't want him to get overwhelmed by any of this.”

 “He'll be fine,” Brian said once more, knowing that it was true. Gus would love the house, would love the idea of horses, a pool and all that open space to run around in. He loved the outdoors and would love the remote location of the house. He was sure of it.