(Pittsburgh, Saturday, May 25, 2013 - past)
"I really hope you have a damn good reason to call me at this hour," as soon as Brian heard Jennifer's sleepy voice, he immediately froze, it was as if his own voice was stuck in his throat, he just couldn't speak. His chest felt so tight and heavy, though he wasn't sure if it was because of the fear of what he had to tell her, or maybe because he didn't feel as 'good' as he tried to convince himself. "Hello? May I know who's calling? Hello? Okay then, I'm hanging up and going back to sleep," she was obviously irritated and Brian couldn't blame her, but it only made him feel worse.
But he knew there was no avoiding this, so he finally work up the courage to speak. "Jen-Jennifer, it's me, Brian-" he cleared his throat nervously and immediately felt how sore it was.
"Brian?" Jennifer was obviously surprised and confused at the same time. "Is everything okay? Where are you calling me from?"
Brian closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip so hard he could taste blood. He just didn't know how to tell her that her son could have died tonight... that he still might. Because he didin't know anything. He didn't know shit. He didn't know how serious it was. He didn't know if Justin was going to be okay. And he was so close to losing it. But he knew he had to be strong no matter what because this wasn't about him. This was about Justin's mother who deserved to know the truth.
"Jennifer, um, there's something I need to tell you and I really don't know how…"
"What's going on?" she asked with obvious worry in her voice. "Brian? Please talk to me."
Brian took a deep breath and finally found the strength to say it. "Jennifer, there was a fire in our house..."
"What?" she breathed out in a shaky voice. "What happened?" she urged him to speak.
"I don't know... we just woke up and the whole house was already on fire..." Brian's voice suddenly broke and Jennifer immediately knew it was serious.
"Oh my God. Brian, is he..?" she couldn't even bring herself to say that word.
"No!" Brian said quickly. "God, no. But we're in the hospital... Justin's hurt and it's bad… I think it's really bad…" It was like hearing himself say those words made it even more real and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. "I really need you to come here, Jennifer."
"I'm already getting dressed. Which hospital?"
"Alleghany General."
"I'll be there as soon as possible."
"Okay," Brian let out a heavy breath and hung up.
Then he pressed his forehead against the wall and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down while clutching his chest. He felt so fucking helpless. The last time he made a call like this was when Hobbs smashed Justin's head in with a bat. And there was no way in hell he could manage to call anyone else right now. He just needed a moment.
"Dad?" Gus spoke quietly after a while. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, bud. I'm fine. Grandma's on her way here. She's going to take care of you until your moms get here."
"What? Why? You're here!"
"Well, you see, I have to stay here overnight for observation. Doctor's orders," he chuckled nervously.
"But why?" his already frightened eyes widened even more. "You said you were fine!"
"I am," he assured him. "They just want to make sure I stay that way," he explained, hoping Gus would understand.
"But…" Brian could see his eyes filling with tears. "I just..."
"Hey, hey, come on… I'm fine. I really am. You don't have to worry about anything. I promise, okay?" Brian pulled him close and hugged him tightly, ignoring the pain in his chest even though he could feel that he was really starting to struggle to breathe. But he was sure it was nothing, just anxiety and not knowing if Justin was going to be okay. "Don't worry about me, Sonny boy."
"I just don't want anything bad to happen to you," Gus muttered sadly.
"Nothing's going to happen to me, Gus. Except I'll probably have to stay with Grandma Debbie for a few days until I find a place to live," Brian rolled his eyes in annoyance causing Gus to chuckle which made him smile.
"And what about Uncle Justin? When are we going to see him?"
And just like that, Brian's smile disappeared.
"I don't know," he breathed heavily. "Hopefully soon."
"But he'll be okay too, right, Dad?"
Brian was really starting to lose his mind, he had no idea how to explain to his son how serious Justin's condition was because he didn't know it himself and everything in him just wanted to go and start screaming at the nearest doctor or nurse to fucking tell him something already. It was only thanks to Gus that he kept himself in check or he would have unleashed hell a long time ago.
"I'm sure he will," Brian stroked his hair. "He's very strong. Just like you."
"Okay," Gus managed to crack a tiny smile and hugged his dad again.
They then went to the waiting room where they sat for what felt like an eternity but probably not more than fifteen minutes when they finally heard what they were waiting for, "Is Justin Taylor's family here?"
Brian basically jumped out of his seat and hurried over to the doctor, trying to read her face, but there was nothing to tell him how Justin was doing. "I'm Brian Kinney, I'm his husband… please tell me he's alright…."
He immediately saw the slight change in her expression and prayed she wasn't a homophobic cunt.
"Mr. Kinney, your husband suffered second and third degree burns, he also took in a lot of smoke, but what I'm most concerned about right now is his leg..."
"What does that mean?"
"Well, since the bone wasn't fully healed yet, the fact that he put all his weight on it made the fracture even more serious and complicated, so that means he's going to need surgery as soon as possible. Not to mention that he's going to need a lot of physical therapy. And even then, it will be months before he can fully use his leg again."
Brian's heartbeat quickened again. "But he's going to be okay, right?"
"If all goes according to plan, then yes, he should be perfectly fine."
"And if not?" he asked nervously.
"It's hard to say now, but he would definitely face some difficulties that would complicate his daily life, so it's really important that he starts physical therapy as soon as possible to regain full function of his leg."
Brian suddenly spaced out, trying to take everything in. He could feel the sweat on his forehead, his heart pounding… it was like a nightmare. And he wished he could trade places with Justin.
"Do you have any other questions?" the doctor asked after a moment of silence.
"Just one… can I see him?"
"He should rest, but… yeah, I'll take you to him," she agreed, seeing the desperation in Brian's eyes.
Feeling extremely grateful Brian immediately followed her, keeping Gus close to him. A million thoughts raced through his mind - about Justin, about Gus, about the fact that all three of them could have died tonight, but by some miracle they were still alive. And he certainly wasn't going to take that second chance for granted.
When they finally stood outside Justin's room, Brian was so eager to open the door that he almost pushed the doctor aside and it took everything in his power not to. And when he finally saw Justin's face, it was the most indescribable feeling he had ever felt.
"Hey," Justin said weakly with a small smile on his lips.
"Hey," Brian smiled back.
And it was like the world stopped for a moment, it was just the two of them looking at each other. Brian was surprised that Justin actually looked much better than he expected. But it was still hard to see him like that. There was a tube going into the back of his hand with a liquid running inside and many other things attached to his body. A monitor was quietly beeping beside his bed. But all Brian could see was how beautiful he was.
"I'll leave you alone," the doctor smiled and left the room.
And the moment Brian heard the door close, he walked over to his bed. He was so ready to kiss him but was quickly reminded that they actually weren't alone.
"Uncle Justin!" Gus exclaimed excitedly, basically pushing Brian aside.
"Oh my God, Gus, I'm so glad you're okay… I mean, he's okay, right?" Justin immediately looked at Brian with obvious concern in his exhausted eyes.
"He's perfectly fine, not even a scratch, don't worry," Brian smiled, stroking Gus's hair, knowing they were truly lucky.
"Thank god," Justin breathed a sigh of relief.
"But you look really awful, Uncle Justin."
Despite everything, Justin couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sure I do. But I'll be out of here before you know it."
"I hope so, I hate hospitals, they smell so weird," Gus twisted his face.
"Yeah, tell me about it," Justin rolled his eyes in annoyance, making Gus giggle.
"I'm really glad you didn't die, Uncle Justin," the boy said suddenly, surprising both him and Brian.
"That makes two of us," Justin replied, feeling really blessed to be alive. It was truly a miracle. Although he knew very well that the actual reason he was still alive was standing right behind Gus. Brian loved him so much that he risked his own life to save him. In other words - Brian was his miracle.
"Gus, could you please go outside for a moment?" Brian asked.
"What, why?" Gus clearly wasn't a fan of that idea.
"Just for a moment. Please?" Brian basically begged him with his eyes.
"Fine," he sighed. "I'll give you two minutes."
"How about five?" Justin tried to negotiate, hoping to be alone with Brian as well.
"Three," Gus frowned.
"Four?" Brian raised his eyebrows hopefully. "And maybe some ice cream later?"
"Okay!" Gus quickly turned around, making them both laugh.
And as soon as the door closed behind him, their eyes instantly met and before they knew it, Brian had closed the distance between them and kissed Justin's lips as gently as possible. He did his best not to touch him in any way, not wanting to cause him any more pain than he was already in. But it was really hard for him to hold back, all he wanted to do was take Justin in his arms and feel every inch of him.
And even when their lips parted, he still had his forehead pressed firmly against Justin's, just enjoying the feeling of being with him again. Especially when the thought of never seeing him again crossed his mind a few times tonight.
"God, you scared me so fucking much," Brian finally said, his voice trembling. "I thought I lost you," he admitted, feeling a tear roll down his face.
"You didn't. I'm right here," Justin breathed out heavily. "And I'm not going anywhere."
"I wouldn't let you go even if you tried," Brian smiled, kissing him again.
"Well, to be honest, I can't even walk right now, so… I'm definitely not going anywhere," he chuckled, hoping to make Brian laugh, but it actually had the opposite effect. "What's wrong?"
Brian looked down at his body and back into his eyes. "Does it hurt a lot?"
"They have me on so many drugs I don't even know," he chuckled again, but he could tell by the look in Brian's eyes that he wanted an honest answer. "It hurts really bad, but the meds are helping... but I'm really scared it's going to hurt a lot more once the drugs wear off, which I'm not sure I can handle…"
"You can," Brian said firmly. "Because you are strong. And I will help you with everything."
"What if..." Justin trailed off.
"What?"
"What if you don't like my body anymore… with the scars and everything?"
Brian immediately shook his head, "That's not possible. I'll never stop loving your body."
Justin smiled, his lips quivering. The love and gratitude he felt for Brian was completely visible on his face. "What about your hands?"
"That's not even worth mentioning," he shrugged, trying to play it cool.
"Brian?" Justin arched his eyebrows.
"It's nothing, I promise. The doctor gave me some cream and it should heal within three weeks."
"I'm so glad to hear that," Justin breathed a sigh of relief.
"Yeah, but-" Brian rolled his lips in.
"What?" Justin's eyes widened.
"The doctor didn't like my cough so he wants me to stay overnight for observation and run some tests just to be sure… which I think is completely unnecessary," he rolled his eyes.
"Sorry, what?" Justin raised his voice. "And why exactly aren't you in bed right now?"
"Because I wanted to see you first and make sure you were okay," he smiled and stroked his hair.
"Brian!" Justin gave him a murderous look.
"Don't worry, once your mom arrives, I'll do whatever the doctors tell me, I promise."
"Wait, you called her?"
"Of course. I thought she should know. She should be here any minute."
"You know she's going to kill us, right?"
"Yeah and Debbie will be happy to help her," Brian laughed.
"Did you call her too?"
"Not yet. I didn't want to scare her. Actually, your mom is the only one I called. And with how much I scared her, I didn't have the guts to call anyone else."
"Shit. Do we even know what happened?"
"Well, it took me a minute to figure it out, but..."
"What?"
"I think you know."
Justin was confused, trying to read the answer on Brian's face, but then it finally dawned on him. "Oh my god, the candles! I'm such an idiot, I completely forgot about them!"
"We both forgot. It's not your fault."
"Yeah, but if I hadn't been acting like an ungrateful selfish asshole, the candles wouldn't have been there in the first place."
"Don't do this to yourself. The main thing is that we're all okay. Nothing else matters. And once I'm discharged tomorrow, I'll go see what's left of our palace and then I'll start looking for a new place to live... and I'm already looking forward to christening every single room there," he winked at him.
"You're fucking unbelievable," Justin chuckled.
"It's true. I am," he stuck his tongue in his cheek. "Um, is it just me or did Gus decide to give us more time?"
"Looks like it."
"Mhmm," Brian started to lean down to kiss him, but suddenly the door flew open.
They assumed it was Gus, but when they turned their heads to the door, it turned out he wasn't the only one standing there.
"Oh my god, Justin!" Jennifer yelled out, her voice completely terrified. "Honey, are you okay?" she immediately headed to his bed with tears in her eyes.
"Yeah, mom, I'm fine, I promise. We all are."
Jennifer was so paralyzed with fear for her son that she was unable to grasp the meaning of his words and just cried as she desperately stroked his hair.
"You scared me to death," she said when she finally calmed down a bit. "Both of you," she looked at Brian. "Don't you dare ever do that to me again."
"Don't worry, this was just a one time thing," Brian couldn't help but joke a little.
And while Justin laughed, Jennifer just rolled her eyes.
"I'm so happy all three of you are okay," she smiled and looked at Gus. "Gus, honey, come here," she reached out and gave him a long, tight hug.
"Grandma, you're crushing me," Gus laughed.
"I'm sorry honey, I'm just… so relieved," she wiped her tears and turned back to Justin. "God, you look like you must be in a lot of pain."
"I'm fine, mom. And if it wasn't for Brian, it could have been a lot worse… he got us out of the house… I'm alive because of him…"
"You're giving me too much credit, it was a team effort," Brian replied, but before he knew it, Jennifer was holding him in her arms. "Oh, okay," he chuckled nervously.
"Thank you," she whispered in his ear. She then pulled back and looked into his eyes, giving him a look of gratitude as she took his hand in hers, but quickly realized that it was not a good idea. "Christ, Brian, your hands."
"It's nothing, don't worry," Brian tried to give her one of his charming smiles but instead started coughing.
"Let me guess, this is nothing too?" she arched her brows.
Brian grinned as he tried to catch his breath and clutched his chest.
"Brian, are you okay?" Justin asked in a worried voice.
"Uh-hm, yeah, I'm fine," Brian nodded and cleared his throat. "It's just really annoying," he laughed. But they could tell by the look in his eyes that it scared him too.
"No, Brian, you're obviously not fine" Justin replied. "You promised to let the doctors take care of you... and my mom is here so… could you please do that?"
"Wait what am I missing here?" Jennifer asked confused.
"The doctor wants Brian to stay overnight for observation to make sure everything is okay, but Brian is being stubborn as usual."
"I'm not stubborn, Sunshine."
"I strongly disagree! Why the hell are you here instead of listening to the doctors and resting in bed?" Jennifer was furious.
"Yeah, Dad, Grandma's right."
"Oh, you too? Little traitor," he sighed. "Okay, okay, I'm gonna let the doctors stick needles in me and everything, don't worry. But Jennifer, I need you to take care of Gus until the girls get here."
"Of course. They must be so worried."
"Well, actually, I haven't called them… yet."
"Oh god," she ran her hand over her face. "Okay, I'm gonna call them, you go to your room," she pointed at Brian. "And you, young man, will have some explaining to do when I get back," she looked at Justin.
"I know, mom, I know."
"Good luck," Brian mouthed at him, holding back his laughter.
Justin scowled at him but couldn't help but smile.
"Gus, be nice to your grandma, okay?"
"Okay, Dad," he promised.
"Thanks, sonny boy," Brian smiled at him and went to hug him. He then walked over to Justin's bed. "Try not to miss me too much," he rolled his lips in.
"I will do my very best," Justin chuckled.
"Good," Brian gave him a loving kiss. "See you later."
"Later," Justin smiled. "I love you."
"I love you too," after Brian kissed him one last time he left the room but he couldn't help but look back at him one more time before the door closed.
---
Lying in bed, Justin was staring at the ceiling, still unable to believe what had happened... it was like a dream. Well, nightmare was probably a better word for that situation. But he was so relieved that Brian and Gus were okay. He didn't even want to imagine that something would happen to them. He can survive the pain he's going through right now, but losing one of them... he wouldn't survive that.
"Lindsay and Melanie are on their way, they should be here in a few hours," Jennifer said when she returned with Gus.
"Were they angry?"
"Why would they be angry? If anything, they were just happy that their son-" Jennifer paused as she looked at Gus, "-is alive. That you all are."
"Yeah, I know," Justin nodded, looking at the boy. "But could you please go check on Brian and make sure he hasn't left and is actually in bed?" he chuckled.
"Oh, don't you worry, I'll tie him to the bed if I have to and kick his ass so he won't even think of leaving."
Justin laughed out loud. "Thanks, Mom."
"Sure, honey. Gus, I'll be right back, okay? So don't go anywhere."
"Don't worry mom, I'll keep an eye on him."
"No offense Uncle Justin, but I think I should be the one keeping an eye on you."
Justin opened his mouth in disbelief, but realized he was probably right, "Okay, fine, that's fair," he laughed.
Jennifer then left the room and even though Justin felt really exhausted and all he wanted to do was sleep and not think about the pain he was in, he did what he could to take Gus's mind off of what he had been through. He may have been really brave for his age, but he was still just a kid. So they just talked and laughed and made crazy plans. And it honestly distracted Justin as much as Gus.
"What's taking your grandma so long?" Justin looked at the clock and realized that she had been gone for quite some time.
"I guess she's kicking his ass," Gus chuckled.
"Yeah, I bet she is," Justin laughed. "Your dad is really something."
Justin tried to stay calm, he didn't even think he had a reason to be nervous, but he couldn't help but watch the clock anxiously. So when the door finally opened, he felt like he could breathe again.
"Oh there you are, I was getting worried. Was he hiding or something?" he chuckled, but then he noticed how pale his mother was and immediately felt his heart speed up. "Mom?" he breathed out nervously.
She didn't answer and instead looked at Gus. "Gus, could you go outside for a moment?"
"Why?" he frowned.
"Just go buy something from the vending machine, okay? Here's some money."
"Oh, thanks, Grandma!" he was immediately excited and ran out of the room. Jennifer closed the door behind him and turned to Justin, barely holding back tears.
"Mom, you're scaring the shit out of me. What the hell is going on? Did something happen to Brian?"
It was obvious she couldn't find the words, which scared Justin even more, but nothing could have prepared him for what she was about to tell him.
"Yeah, something happened," she finally said.
"What, mom?" he urged her to speak. "Is he alright?"
"No Justin, he's not… um, Brian… honey, Brian's gone…." she said in a shaky voice.
Justin was in complete shock, just staring at his mother, trying to understand what she just told him, but all he could do was laugh. "What are you talking about? Brian's fine… he was just here," he shook his head, clearly not believing her.
"No, Justin," she stepped closer to his bed. "I was just walking to his room, but the doctors were already there, trying to save him, but honey, he didn't make it. He had a heart attack and he died, Justin."
"What? No!"
"I know this is hard, but..."
"No-no-no!" he yelled in her face, shaking his head again. "He's fine. And I'm gonna prove it to you," he tried to get up, but he was too weak.
"Justin, honey, I'm really sorry, but he's gone," Jennifer couldn't hold back her tears.
"Stop saying that!" he shouted. "It's not true, so just stop!"
"Justin, I'm sorry, but Brian's dead."
"No... no, he's not!"
"Justin... please..."
"NO!"
As much as he didn't want to believe it, he could feel his heart breaking into a million pieces and it felt like he was dying too… and then he started crying while he desperately called out Brian's name...