The day before Justin's surgery he reviewed everything with J.Jay. He was sure everything with the business would be fine and he looked forward to getting to know all the new contacts J.Jay was making. If all went well, he might even have a building added to the property and have what some would call an artist commune. He might actually check into starting a school. 

Both Brian and Justin had been talking to Gus, trying to tell him why his daddy would be gone for a while. He said he understood but they weren't sure he actually did. At least Ronni would be coming most evenings and Gabbi was coming in during the day. Connor, Charly, and Shadow said they would stay at the house, anytime it was needed. Em said he would come if they needed him, too. Amelia was at the age she could adapt no matter where she was.  

Justin put all the kids to bed and then he went to his own room and looked through the bag that was going to the hospital with him. He added a couple small things and when Brian walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his chest, Justin relaxed against him. "I think it is time for you to go to bed," suggested Brian.

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep."

"Do you want to take a bath or a shower?"

"Maybe a bath and a joint?"

"Is that safe?"

"No, I looked it up a bit ago. I just need to be distracted somehow, and they did say I should take an extra painkiller tonight so I will sleep. Connor is in the house, right?" 

"Yes, he has the monitors for both bedrooms."

Justin turned and put his arms around Brian's neck. "You start the water and I'll take my pills?"

"Don't be long. I'll start the jets and add some of that essential oil you like."

"That sounds perfect," Justin kissed him lightly and walked to the night stand to get his pills. As Justin took the medication, he realized he probably had less than an hour before he fell asleep. He knew what he wanted to do during that time. He undressed and put on his robe before going into the bathroom.

Brian had the tub nearly full of warm water shooting through the jets of the tub. Brian offered him a hand as he got into the tub and then he slipped in behind him. He just wanted to hold him until he was nearly asleep and then get him to bed and hoped he slept. Brian was sure he wouldn't sleep at all. 

"Brian, will you love me?"

"Fuck, Sunshine, I always love you."

"You know that's not what I meant." Justin turned to face him and wrapped his legs around Brian's waist. Using his arms he lifted himself up and then Brian helped position his cock as Justin lowered himself onto it. Once he was sitting on Brian's thighs he began to rock very gently, kissing Brian with each movement. They both were soon rock hard and rather than quick kisses it had deepened into pure passion.  

"Oh, god," Brian's head dropped back and he cried out as he lost control. Justin dropped forward on top of Brian's chest without a sound. "Sunshine, you alright?"

"I love you, Brian Kinney. And right now, I need you to help me to bed." His speech was slurred and Brian knew he would be asleep in a few minutes. He helped him out of the tub and dried him off before guiding Justin to bed and, after helping him get into some boxers, he helped him lay down and covered him with the thick blankets. He then got in bed behind him. He wrapped his arm around him and listened to his breathing.

At 5:00 Brian got up. He didn't think he had slept more than a couple minutes at a time all night. He showered and dressed and then, with Justin still drugged from the night before, he helped Justin dress and combed his hair before he helped him walk to the door with Justin's bag over his shoulder. He was happy when Connor met him in the hall.

"Why don't you let me help him down the stairs and you take the bag to the car and get it started."

"Thanks, Connor. You know you don't have to help. The kids are..."

"The kids are fine. Charly is still next to the monitor."

"Go, babe," Justin said, slurring his words slightly. "Connor has me and he is cute!" 

Connor laughed softly, "Thanks, Justin, but I know you only have eyes for Brian."

"And you love Charly."

"Yes, I really do." Connor said it as if he was just realizing that.

Justin and Connor made it to the family room as Brian came back in from the garage. Connor and Brian managed to get his coat on him and then Justin looked at Connor. "Take care of my kids."

"Of course I will. Don't worry. I know Gus will go to school today and then his mother will have him for a few days. Your mom is going to be in contact if I need anything. Don't worry, Justin.  We will take care of your kids."

"Thank you!" Justin hugged him tightly.

"Time to go Sunshine. Connor, I've got him from here. Thank you for everything."

"No problem. Please let us know when he is out of surgery."

"I will. It won't be until later in the afternoon. Jenn or I will contact you. She is meeting us there." Saying that, Brian helped Justin out the door and Connor shut it behind them.

The ride to the hospital was silent until the last ten minutes. Justin had dozed most of the way but now he was waking up. "Brian, we have everything covered, right?"

"Sunshine, you have everything ready," Brian spoke softly as he reached over and stroked his cheek.

"Brian if something happens to me, if I'm not me anymore..."

"Justin, you will always be you. And I will be your husband and we will parent our children and..." Brian's voice cracked. "You are going to come back just the same except no more headaches."

This time Justin reached over and took Brian's hand. "I would never leave you and the kids without a fight." Brian squeezed his hand before bringing it back to the steering wheel as he slowed and then turned onto the hospital campus. Brian parked as close as he could to the entrance and then he got out of the car and slung Justin's bag over his shoulder. He hesitated a second and took a deep breath. It would be a very long day. It would be a very long month. He walked around the car and opened Justin's door, offering his hand. He stood and wrapped his arms around Brian's neck. "I love you, Brian Kinney." He stepped closer and pressed his body against him. Brian dropped his head and Justin claimed his lips. It started very sweetly but as they continued the pressure increased and the need for more grew.

"We better go in," Brian said as he put a little space between them but still kept an arm around his waist. Together they entered the building. They signed in and were led to a pre-surgery waiting room. They had only waited a few minutes when Justin's name was called. Justin hesitated. Brian stood and reached out for him with both hands. 

Justin started to stand up but sat back down. Brian looked toward the nurse waiting for them and held up his hand showing five fingers and mouthed the word minutes. She nodded and walked back through the door. He sat next to him and gently took his hand. 

"I just couldn't move. I just think about him and how he took me away from you."

"Sunshine, I promise not to leave your side. Unless you are in surgery, someone will be at your side." Brian stood and this time Justin took his offered hand. Brian's arm went around his waist and propelled him gently to the door. "If I'm not with you, your mom will be here or Kevin. I have given the front desk a picture of him so he shouldn't be able to get in."

"You really did that?"

"Your father is never going to be alone with you." 

By now the nurse escorted them in the small room he would be in until his surgery. There were three walls and a curtain to the hall. Brian helped Justin undress and put on his small gown, open in the back. He pressed against Justin from behind.  "I think we need to take one of these home when you get out of here." He kissed the curve of his neck and along his shoulder.  "Now get in bed."

The next 45 minutes techs were in and out of the semi-structured room. Brian kissed him and held his hand as they shaved his head and when they hooked him up to an IV. "I'm sorry I am such a wuss."

"You are the bravest man I know and I am so proud of you. You have gone through so much and you still live your life to the fullest and make all our lives better." Brian kissed him. "I love you, Sunshine." With that Justin disappeared through double doors.

Brian stood there until the aide next to him spoke, "Sir, he is in very good hands. Let me take you to the waiting room. They will keep you updated at least once an hour." The young woman looked up into Brian's beautiful face. She gently touched his elbow and Brian jumped. "Sir?"

Brian looked down at her. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I'll take you to the waiting room." Brian now walked with her and she repeated what she had said to him earlier. 

When they entered the room it was divided up into small sitting areas. "Thanks," Brian said to the young woman who couldn't stop staring at him. As she sputtered something, she walked away.

"Brian, how is he?" Jennifer rushed over and Brian enfolded her in his arms. "I wanted to see him but there was an accident and by the time I found parking and got in here they said he was going to be moved in just minutes."

Brian kissed the top of her head, "Jenn, he was fine. A little nervous, of course. I need you more than he does," Brian led her to a couple chairs out of the way and they sat together. "He is so brave. Fuck, I could never go through what he has gone through." 

Jenn took his hand and squeezed it. "I don't know if you realize this but he wouldn't be here without you. You saved him."

"I may have found him, but he saved himself." Brian slipped an arm around her shoulder and she dropped her head onto it. "They said they would update us about once an hour."

"And how long is it supposed to last?"

"The surgeon hoped for about four hours, but it could be six or even more."

"Would you like to get some coffee?" Jenn asked after they had their first report. "I can stay here."

"Can I get you one? Something to eat?"

"You know how I like my coffee. If something looks good grab it. I doubt I could eat but..."

"I'll be back soon," Brian said as he walked toward the cafe.

"No rush. Take a short walk. It's going to be a long day," Jenn said as he walked away.

Brian went outside. He hadn't smoked since they got married but he had picked up a pack of cigarettes a few days earlier and he now took one out between his lips and, after lighting it he took a deep breath. He coughed. He looked at the glowing stick and this time he took a small drag. He sat on a bench in a small park area designated for smoking and let his mind wander.

"Excuse me," came a voice. "You wouldn't happen to have another one of those?" he pointed to the cigarette. Brian shook one out of the pack and the young man took it. "Mind if I sit here?"

"No problem, I don't plan to be here long." The men smoked in silence for a few minutes and when Brian glanced at him there was devastation on his face. Knowing this wasn't his thing he took a breath and said, "Who's here?"

"My brother... no, sister."

"You don't know if you have a brother or a sister?"

"You probably aren't interested in my family issues. Most people don't understand."

Brian thought for a second, "Brother? Sister? Trans?"

The young man looked surprised. "Ya, how..."

"What happened?"

"She tried to kill herself. Or that is what she told us. She'd also been beaten up lately. I just got into town and, well... "

Brian stood, "I'm sorry, I have to go but..." Brian pulled out his wallet and found Kevin's business card. "My dad runs this place in town. Call them. Tell them about your sister. I am sure they can help her." He handed it to the guy. "Tell them Brian told you to call. Someone will come talk to her before she leaves." With that Brian walked away without another word. He grabbed a couple muffins and coffees and rushed back to Jenn.  

"I was starting to worry. Everything alright?" she asked as she took the coffee Brian offered.

"I went out for fresh air and ended up talking to a guy for a few minutes."

"Did you get the cigarette from him?"

Brian smiled, "Actually he bummed one from me. And no, I haven't started smoking again. I just knew I would need something to do."  

The day crept on. They got a second report and were told everything was going as expected. The day drug on. When Kevin arrived, Jenn ran an errand to get away for a few minutes. "Dad, as a priest, people talk to you." Brian told Kevin about the woman who was in the hospital. "I think, when she wakes, she will need someone to talk to and so could her brother."

"I will find out her name before I leave and drop by her room."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Now, tell me what you're thinking." Kevin draped his arm around his son.

"I keep seeing Sunshine laying on that table with part of his skull in the doctor's hand. If this doesn't help, what will we do?"

"You will love each other. You will love your kids. We will all be there for you but, I've been talking to my boss all day and I feel assured He has been listening."

"Thanks, I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with him and at this point he probably wouldn't be interested in listening."

"Oh, Brian, I am really sorry I wasn't around."

"It doesn't have anything to do with you. I just ... " Brian's head dropped onto Kevin's shoulder for just a second and then he raised it again. "I'm glad you're here now."

"So am I, Brian."

The fourth hour had come and gone with no update and when Brian started to walk to the desk, he saw the surgeon walk into the room and move toward the small group. Brian took Jenn's hand and Kevin put his arm around Brian's waist.

"Justin?" Brian asked.

"It went well. I found the area that we showed you on the scan and I smoothed off the extra growth that had occurred on the original injury and I feel this is going to help immensely. As we discussed, his brain is injured and he will still get more headaches than you and I but I wouldn't expect him to have the debilitating pain he has had."

"When can I see him?"

"It will be about an hour." The surgeon looked at Kevin, "I suggest you get something to eat and then, when you come back, he should be in his room."

"Thank you, sir." Kevin said to the doctor. "We are very grateful."

"You're welcome. It's just my job and I need to finish a few things before I will go home for the day." He turned and headed down the hall.

Kevin excused himself. He went to see what he could find out about the young woman Brian told him about while Brian and Jenn walked to a nearby cafe next to the hospital. They ordered a sandwich for Kevin along with meals for themselves.

"Jenn, if you want to go home, I'll let Sunshine know you were here. He isn't going to be alert tonight anyway. It will probably be a couple days before they will take him off all sedation. They want his brain to rest and you know it isn't going to be pretty. His face is going to be bruised and swollen. I'll let you know when they are going to let him wake up."

"I think I will go home. I will spend the night with Tuck and I will return in the morning so you can have a break. If you need anything please give me a call."

"Thanks, Jenn. Em and James are coming by this evening so if I need something they will bring it."

"Brian, can you tell him I love him, even if he isn't awake?"

"Of course I will." He kissed her cheek.

"Brian, I love you, too. There is no one else that would make him happy."

"Love you, too, Jenn."

Brian paid for their meals and carried Kevin's sandwich, he walked Jenn to her car and watched her drive away. He slowly walked back into the hospital and was told Justin's room number.  He wondered where his dad was but he knew he would show up sometime. As he came off the elevator he nearly ran into Kevin. "Oh," was all Brian said and handed him the container with his sandwich. He then added, "Thought you needed something to eat."

"Thanks, Brian, I could use something."

"Have you seen him yet?"

"I have. I won't lie, he looks rough, but everyone says he is doing well. Why don't I go in with you?"

"No Dad, thanks, but I need to see him alone." 

"I'll go to the waiting room to eat my sandwich. I'll stop by his room before I leave. By the way, Brian, I couldn't talk to the young woman but I did talk to her brother. I will check on them again tomorrow when I come back to see Justin."

"I'm glad I could direct you to them."

Kevin saw Brian looking toward Justin's room. "Go to him." and with that Kevin moved down the hall.

Brian took a deep breath before entering his room. The room was located right outside the nurses station and as Brian walked into the room and moved toward the bed, he barely recognized Justin. Brian took his hand and bent to kiss his swollen cheek. "I'm here, Sunshine.  I sent your mom home but she wanted me to tell you how much she loves you."

The door opened and a young man stepped in. "Oh, I didn't see you come in. I am Henry. I will be Justin's night nurse most of the time he is here. Are you Brian?"

"I am."

"Justin's brain function changed so I was checking on him. He knows you are here and it is a really good sign that he recognizes your presence." Henry said with a soft tone, not wanting to disturb Justin.

"But he is totally under." Brian followed suit with a quiet voice.

"I am guessing you two have an unusually close bond."

"He is my life and has been for many years."

"I hope you don't think I am some weird stalker type but I was in nursing school when he had been bashed. I was also there when word came he had ‘died'. I never believed it but I was only a student and was told I was too inexperienced to know anything. I followed the trial. I wish his jerk of a father had gotten longer." Henry looked up at Brian. "I'll let you have time with him. If you need me I will be at the nurses' station."

Brian nodded at him and turned his focus to Justin. "Hey, Sunshine, I talked to the kids earlier.  Aaron jabbered away and then Jessi said a couple words to me. Gus and Lindz were visiting her parents so I didn't get to talk to him for long." 

The door opened and Kevin walked in. "I need to go. Something is going on at Legacy. Nothing serious, just a paperwork snafu but I said I'd stop by on my way home."

"I'll be fine, Dad."

"Call me if anything happens. I am only ten minutes away." Kevin hugged him tightly.   

Brian's arms tightened around him. "Thanks for being here today."

"I wouldn't have been anywhere else. I love you, son. Call me if you need anything."

"I will, and I love you, too, Dad." And then he was alone with Justin. He sat on a chair next to the bed and held Justin's hand. He talked to him for the next half hour and then his head dropped on the bed and he napped. 

"Brian?" a voice said nearby.

Brian sat up in surprise. "Oh, Em, James. I guess I fell asleep. What time is it?"

"It is time for James to take you out for an early dinner and I will sit by your Sunshine." Emmett hugged Brian. "How is he doing?"

"They have him sedated so he hasn't talked yet."

"His poor head," Em said softly. "Well, honey, I'm letting my husband take your husband out for dinner so we can talk about how beautiful they both are." Emmett waved James and Brian out of the door as he sat down in the chair Brian had vacated and he took Justin's hand.

James and Brian got on the elevator and as the doors shut, Brian started to stop them but James stopped him, "Brian, you need to get away and you need to eat."

"I just don't want to be away from him."

"Well, then we will eat in the hospital cafeteria. Em will text us if anything happens and we can be up there in less than five minutes."

"OK, you're right. I am sure I need a break."

After picking up their food they found a table in a corner. "How did the surgery go?"

"Everything went as planned and they say his brain waves are good."

"Why is he still sleeping?" James asked, concerned.

"They want his body to stay inactive for a day or two."

"That makes sense. And now for a lighter note, Aaron was so cute when he was talking to you."

"I love that kid. I love all my kids, but I think it is his age and the fact that he looks so much like Sunshine... he melts my heart. Of course, then there is Jessi, who is growing far too quickly and, well, Gus is smarter than I am in so many ways."

James smiled in a knowing way. "I can totally understand now that I am a father. I would give my life for Amelia. When she smiles at me, and I'm not sure she is old enough to really smile, but I feel the hold she has on my heart and when I see something that reminds me of Em or even myself, I know we made this little girl with the help of Mom."

Brian had to smile. James' love for his family was so obvious. "I am glad you and Em are so happy." 

"I feel like I should thank you. You gave me a job and then introduced us."

"That was more Sunshine than me. He encouraged Em to talk to you and it was so obvious you connected." Brian was finishing his meal and James could tell he was  ready to go back to Justin's room.

"Brian, is there anything I can do for you?"

"James, take Em home and cuddle Amelia and then make love to your husband." Brian stood and so did James.

"I will and I will keep an eye on the estate while you're gone."

"I have no doubt you will."

When Brian and James walked into Justin's room, Em was holding a full conversation with him. "Oh, we were just talking about the two of you." Emmett stood up and walked over to James, kissing him. "We decided we wanted to keep the two of you." He reached over and patted Brian's face. "Although I don't know how he puts up with you." Em smiled at Brian. 

Brian scowled for a second and then kissed Emmett's cheek. "Thanks for coming. Now, get out of here and pick up Amelia. We'll be fine. I'm staying here until he wakes up for the first time."

"Let us know if you need anything." James guided Emmett toward the door. "And let us know if you want us to visit tomorrow night."

Brian watched them leave and then sat down to take Justin's hand.

It was three days later when the doctor let Brian know they were going to lighten up on the sedation. "Brian, you have been here for three days. Please go home, sleep a bit, and clean up.  We will start lightening up the meds about 5:00. He won't wake up for a couple hours if not longer. Sometimes it takes 24 hours for them to come completely out of it, depending on how the brain adjusts."

"I was planning on staying until he came out of it."

"Brian, if he sees you looking like this, do you think it will make him comfortable?"

He ran a hand through his hair, "You're right. I'll be back by 5:00. I'll just say goodbye and then leave."

"Take your time. He'll be waiting."

Once the doctor left he moved back to Justin's side and picked up Justin's hand and kissed it.  "Sunshine, I'm going to see the kids but I will be back soon. I love you. I'll see those beautiful eyes soon." He leaned and kissed Justin's cheek. It was now much less swollen but the color was more intense. "Damn, Sunshine, I can't wait for you to come back to me."

When Brian arrived home about 11:00 a.m. there was a blur of blond energy that threw himself at Brian. "Oh, Daddy! I missed you." Brian gathered him in his arms and held onto him tightly. Gabbi stood a few steps away holding a wiggling Jessi.  

Brian walked over and, shifting Aaron to one arm, collected his daughter in his other. He kissed both of them several times and then, feeling exhausted, he sat on the sofa with both of them. "I have missed you so much."

Aaron kissed Brian's cheek and said, "Where's Daddy?" 

Ronni came from the kitchen area carrying a cup of something hot and, lifting Aaron off Brian's knee she sat next to him holding Aaron and handed the cup to Brian. "It is caffeine free so you can sleep but hopefully it will help rejuvenate you. How is Justin?"

"They are taking him out of the coma this evening. The doctor said I looked pretty bad and sent me home for a few hours."

"Well, we will be having lunch in about half an hour and then all of you can take a nap."

"Thanks, Ronni. All of you are doing so much for us." Brian kissed Jessi and then took a sip of the tea.

"Brian we are a family, a large family that loves each other. We are all there for each other."

Brian played with his kids and ate lunch before laying down for a couple hours. He then showered and put on clean clothes. He came down hoping the kids weren't up yet. He found Ronni starting dinner. "Ronni, I am going back to the hospital. I will let you know when he is awake."

"Please do. Aaron needs to hear his daddy soon."

"Ronni, I feel like you have something you are holding back."

"I just don't want you to worry. James is aware and has..."

"Aware of what, Ronni? I need to go."

"Justin's dad has been trying to contact us. He has called the house three times and the last message said he would be stopping by to see his son. I am not sure who he meant but my guess is he meant Aaron." Ronni saw Brian's look go dark. "Brian, James is going to go see him tonight and he has asked that a guard be on duty all the time. We have this, Brian."

"I don't have time to ask questions. Don't leave me out of the loop. If Craig shows up, I want to know."

"I will let you know but just know we will keep your boy safe."

"Ronni, I never doubted that." Brian hugged her and then left the house to return to Justin.

It was about 9:00 p.m. when Justin started stirring. Within moments he started thrashing in his bed and before Brian could call for a nurse, Henry rushed in. "I have called for the doctor. Try talking to him. Let him hear your voice. Hold his hand. Stroke his face."

Brian followed Henry's directions. "Sunshine, darling," Brian took his hands and kissed his fingers. Then he stroked Justin's face. Justin's jerky movements calmed down. "Justin, your surgery went well but now it is time to wake up."

Henry looked at the monitor and saw everything was calming down. "Keep going. It's working."

Brian moved so his lips brushed Justin's. And then Justin lifted his arm and placed his hand on the back of Brian's neck. Justin attempted to sit forward to deepen the kiss but then he cried out.  "Don't move, Sunshine."

As Brian said that, the doctor walked in. He talked softly to Henry and then turned to Brian. "It appears he is responding well to your presence. For now, we are going to just wait and see.  Just keep talking to him and letting him know you're here. Like I told you earlier, this could take until tomorrow or even longer for him to come out of it completely. 

"I am not going anywhere until he is fully awake," Brian assured the doctor, as he took a step toward them, breaking contact with Justin. It was only seconds before Justin's body started to jerk and he mumbled something. As soon as Brian took his hand again Justin again calmed. 

The doctor smiled. "If he starts moving too much we may need to give him something but right now you are his best medicine." The doctor said he would check back in a couple hours and told Henry to call if there was a major change. 

Henry checked a couple more things and then looked at Brian. "He is doing well now. He just needs you. That is much better than more drugs."

"Can I lay beside him?"

"As long as you are wary of his head."

"I will be very careful and keep him laying down. If he starts acting differently I will buzz you."

"As long as he remains calm, everything will be good." Henry left as Brian slipped in bed next to Justin. 

It took a few body shifts to get comfortable. Brian then gently laid a hand on Justin's pelvis and fell asleep.

Brian wasn't sure what woke him at first. Then he heard a groan. "Sunshine?" Brian opened his eyes and looked down at Justin's face. "Can you hear me?" Justin nodded a little bit. "Can you open your eyes?" He saw Justin work to open them. They fluttered a little before they opened and Brian could see his sky blue eyes. They didn't have their normal sparke but just to see him wake was enough for now. 

"Hurts." He took a breath, "The kids, are they okay?"     ‘

"They are wonderful." As soon as Justin heard the kids were alright he drifted off again.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

When Brian was sure he had fallen asleep again, he slipped out of bed. Brian wasn't sure what time it was but since it wasn't light out yet Brian felt it was about 5:00, a little before sunrise. He moved out of the room to use the restroom and find a cup of coffee.  

He arrived back at the room with a large cup of coffee about ten minutes later and the room was full of medical personnel. "What the hell is going on?"

"He is seizing." Henry said from beside the bed. "Let Brian get beside him. He needs to know Brian is here."

Brian moved quickly and took his hand. Bringing his lips down to Justin's ear he softly said, "I'm here, Sunshine. I am here sweetheart."

Justin grasped Brian's hand and softly said, "You said you wouldn't leave my side. My dad was here. He was here!"