"So what were you telling the family? Did you tell them how horrible a mother I am? That I can't do anything right anymore?" Sally sounded angry at first, but started to tear up as she went on. "I know I'm horrible. Why can't I just love her?" She took a deep breath and pulled herself together a bit and softly said, "What were you talking about?"
Brandy pulled into their driveway, "Sal, I will definitely tell you, but let's get Kelin in bed and then you and I can have a glass of wine and I will tell you all about it."
Ten minutes later, Brandy walked out of the nursery and joined Sally on the sofa. She was holding a glass full of wine and another glass empty. She handed Brandy the full one. "I miss wine."
"You know, she is over three months old now. If you want to stop breastfeeding, you can. In fact this is probably a good time to stop. You know your doctor said it might help."
"Why can't I be a normal mother? Why can't I want to be with her?"
"Sally, what would you say to five days away, just the two of us?"
"Two? What about Kelin?"
"Jenn and Molly will be here next weekend and Brian and Justin want us to take time away."
"Really? Just the two of us? Where?"
"How about St. John? You and me in a cliff top bungalow. I just want to lay in the sun with you in my arms."
"I'm sure that would be great for the two of us." Her words should have been full of excitement but instead it was monotone. "I'm sorry. I know I'm not me, but I don't know how to become me again."
Brandy put her arms around her wife. "You're still in there. Together you will find your way back, love. I know you will. I'm not going anywhere without you." Brandy kissed her. For a moment Sally reacted to her warmth but then she stood.
"I'm going to go to bed. It will be nice to get away."
Brandy watched Sally walk down the hall and, as expected, she walked into the guest room and even from this distance, she heard the door lock.
On Monday morning, Justin left the house as the kids ate breakfast and Brian was already in his office planning Brandy and Sally's trip.
Justin, along with J.Jay, arrived at the gallery and, using the back door, they went straight up to the studio space. While J.Jay went to check on their first students, Justin went into the studio and set up for his first class. By noon, Justin's adrenaline was pumping. Being with these talented young artists had Justin's creativity flowing. He left at 2:00 pm so he could be home when Aaron and Jessi woke from their naps.
As Justin tried to slip out the back, like he came in, Cora was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. "Well, how are your new students?"
"Oh," he jumped. "You surprised me." He took a breath. "These kids are amazing," his excitement came to the surface. "This is going to be a great summer."
Cora put a hand on Justin's shoulder, "I hope you'll let me take a peek sometime."
"Ya, sure." Justin stepped away from her. "I have a date with a beautiful young lady."
"Lady? I thought you had a husband?"
"My daughter Jessi will be waking up soon and I said I would be home. Goodbye," and with that Justin slipped out the door. As he drove home he thought about Cora. He could deal with a two minute encounter daily. He just hoped it was less than that. He was glad J.Jay wouldn't let her intrude in his life or the students. He was good at just locking out the world. He had learned that with the family he grew up in.
"Daddy J!" Gus ran into Justin's arms. He was in his swim trunks but hadn't been in the pool yet. Justin picked him up and twirled him around.
"Brian just went to get the two ready for the pool. I have some snacks ready for all of you and then all of you will be set for the afternoon."
"Daddy J, I helped get the snacks. Connie cut up fruit and cheese and I put crackers on the plate."
Justin hugged Gus once more and set him down. "I am glad you are helping."
"Connie says family help each other, just like Ronni does."
"We will only have the best around our kids." Justin looked at Connie and smiled. Justin saw Connie take a deep breath and her lip quiver. "Gus, can you go tell your daddy I am home?" Gus ran off and Justin walked over to Connie, touching her shoulder. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No, you and Brian have been nothing but kind. You can imagine most people would not let me near their family. There was an ugly trial and none of my girls said anything against me. I was fair and treated them like family. In the end, I had to pay for all the court costs, which I was happy to pay, and I did community service. That's how I met Tom and ended up here. All I want is to live a quiet life, helping others, but around here my name and face is still well known and no one but you and your friends have given me a chance."
Justin hugged Connie, "Please let us know what we can do to help." They both heard voices and footsteps coming to the kitchen.
"Thank you," she said as she wiped her eyes and then, with a smile, she turned and greeted them all.
Brian, Justin, and Henry spent the afternoon playing by the pool and talking about a few other things they planned to do this summer. Henry said he would look into children's museums, play areas, and other attractions the kids would enjoy. They would figure out what all the kids would enjoy and what might be best for just Gus or both boys. All of that would be decided as the summer went on.
"Just remember, the Fridays of the exhibitions I won't be free."
"Fridays are busier at places like that anyway. Plus that might be a great day to let everyone know we will have a pool party every other week." Brian moved over to Justin and kissed him before pushing him backward and under the water. Then a full out splashing battle occurred. Henry backed off with Jessi but Brian grabbed Gus and Justin picked up Aaron and the fun continued.
When Henry needed to go pick up J.Jay, Brian and Justin took the kids inside to relax until dinner time. After putting on dry clothes, Connie took Jessi while the boys all sat on the sofa and Brian and Justin took turns reading stories to the boys. It wasn't long before the boys each dozed next to their daddies. "Far be it from me to waste time this close to my gorgeous husband." Justin said as he turned to his man and they began to kiss.
Henry pulled up the gallery and J.Jay rushed out. He jumped into the vehicle and grabbed Henry, giving him a hug and long kiss. "Wow, can you go back in so you can do that again?"
J. blushed, "I guess I am a little excited."
"What has got you so exuberant, not that I am complaining!"
"It is just so much fun to be really working in my art. Justin showed all of us some new things to try and the first two students we have are so good."
"You know, you chose them." Henry pulled out of the parking lot.
"Well, I narrowed down the candidates. Justin chose the final eight."
"Let's go out to celebrate tonight. Let's check out Sally and Brandy's diner."
"I would love to, but being out in public..."
"We can go out as friends. I promise to behave." Then he added, "Until we get home anyway, and besides, do you think anyone that follows your dad would be there?"
"You're right. I'll text Justin."
Thirty minutes later they walked into the diner where Sally greeted them both with a hug. "Hey, guys, are you here for an early dinner?"
"We are. I hope we didn't need reservations?" Henry asked.
"No. I would always make room for you. If it was later, you might have to wait a bit but not at this time of the day."
"Hey, guys," Brandy came up behind them. I'll get you seated. Sal, did you tell them where we were going?" She kissed her cheek as she grabbed some menus.
"I hadn't yet. You tell them, I have to get a pie from Nat's place." Sally took the time to kiss Brandy before walking to the back.
"She seems a little more chipper today." Henry commented as they walked.
"Oh, up front here or in the back?"
"Back please," J.Jay said softly. "Where are you going?"
"We are going to St. John. We leave Friday morning. Thank you, Henry, for being willing to help with Kelin."
"No problem, thanks for the back table."
"I'll be back in a few minutes for your order."
After Brandy took the order, J. told Henry about the students and what their specialties were. "Next week we will all work on a mural I am setting up."
Henry smiled, "I love seeing you like this." Henry reached over and took his hand and quickly squeezed it before letting go.
As they were sharing a dessert, a group of people wandered in and were shown to a long table that had been set up across from them. There were a dozen or so early twenty somethings that sat and started light hearted banter. Henry and J. just ate their dessert in silence. They finished and as they stood up one of the girls at the next table said, "Joanna, is that you?" J.Jay stopped in his tracks. The young woman was now standing up and looking at him. "It is you!" She looked at J. and took a breath. "I'm sorry. You probably go by another name, now. My mom told me..."
"Yes, J.Jay," he said softly. "Nice seeing you." J. pushed Henry forward and they got out as quickly as they could. Once they made it outside J.Jay began to shake and Henry took his arm and led him to the car.
"She seemed very nice. She was relaxed and non threatening."
"It's not her I'm worried about. Her mom works for my dad. If she says the wrong thing to her mom, her mom might tell him I'm in town."
"Do you want me to go talk to her?"
"No, you're right. She was a friend that actually understood me and even though her mom worked with dad, she didn't go for all his shit. She knew I was ... what I was, and didn't care."
"What you were? You were and are a human being who knew who you were meant to be." Henry turned off into a parking lot and reached for J., pulling him close and kissing him. "You know, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."
"I care about you, too. I wish I was ready to... I wish I knew what..."
"We'll talk about it when we get home, if you're ready."
"Let's go home. You need to put the kids down soon."
"Wow, all that sun and water has worn the kids out. I don't think they have ever all gone to bed this early," Brian said as he opened a bottle of whiskey. "Are you glad we came down?"
"Of course I am. Are you? You're the one that has to plan your work away from the office."
"Sunshine, nine months a year you do everything for me and the kids. Three months here is the least I can do. And besides, the kids love it here. Oh, by the way, Dad says he can pick up your mom and Molly on Friday. He is going to be near that part of the city anyway."
"Is he going to stay in the city the rest of the week?"
"He said it just works better for him to sleep at Legacy South during the week, especially right now. Later this summer he might come here more often."
"Sounds like Henry and J. are home. I'm glad they went out. They deserve some one on one time."
Henry walked in with J.Jay right behind him. "We can put the kids..." Henry realized they weren't around.
"The kids all went to bed about 20 minutes ago. All the fresh air had them exhausted. How was dinner?" Justin asked.
"Their food is great!" Henry said.
"And what aren't you saying?" Brian asked.
Henry glanced at J.Jay who then started to talk, "Someone recognized me from my childhood."
"Tell us what happened," Justin said as he directed them to sit.
"Nothing really. She came in just before we left and she called me by my original name."
"But she seemed genuine and kind," Henry added.
"Her mom works with my dad in his office, or she did. She will tell him if she finds out, I'm sure."
"Just remember, if you ever feel like you are being followed let me know. I can get you some protection," Brian stated. "And J.Jay, I know you didn't ask, but I know you are interested in talking to your mom, so I have hired someone to accidentally bump into her and feel out what she has to say and her reaction. She will never know the person was sent at all."
J.Jay looked at Brian, locking eyes, "Thank you. I would like to see her at least one more time. If it wasn't for her, my dad would have definitely sent me to treatment." And then J. got quiet. It was as though the conversation had drained him of all energy.
Henry stood, "Let's head to bed, J." He slipped an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek. "You have had a long day."
As they walked toward their room, J. turned around and said to Justin, "The rest of the day went well. I'll talk to you in the morning."
"Let's head to bed, Bri." Justin stood and offered Brian his hand. Brian stood and picked up the glasses they had used. He carried them to the sink and then it was his time to offer his hand and together they walked down the hall.
"So, have they had sex yet?" Brian asked as he began to gently rub Justin's crotch.
"If you mean intercourse, I don't think so."
"When I was their age I would never have stuck around without sex."
"If it would have been me?"
"If it had been you, I would have been arrested for being a pervert. You would have been about 12."
Justin trembled and sighed as Brian's hand kept stroking him, "You know what I mean. When it is the right person, you will do what you need to do... or not do. I don't think he knows what the ‘right' way to have sex is. I think Nat will help her figure it out if they can't figure it out together." Justin stood up. Damn, take me to bed!"
"My pleasure." Brian stood and pulled his husband close. "I would have never let you go." The kiss expressed his feelings for him. "Damn, I love you."
J. and Henry lay on their bed. Henry was in his boxers but as usual, J. was dressed in a t-shirt and shorts. Henry kissed him. He slid his hand under the hem of his shirt and he ran his hand along his abs. It had taken J. a long while to feel comfortable with this but he trusted Henry.
"J., it has to be hard to breathe with your chest wrapped that tightly all the time. You know you could take it off at night. I love you, no matter what body parts you have. I have told you I have been with men and women. I will do whatever you want me to do." Henry kissed his neck and worked his way to his lips.
"Henry, I'm just... I hate my body. I mean, what do I need these things for?" He hit his chest with his fist and then, to Henry's surprise, turned to him and started to sob. "My chest always hurts and my body wants you so bad. I just don't know how to..." Henry held him tightly until he calmed down a bit.
"Do you trust me?" J.Jay nodded to Henry. "Sit up." J. did what he asked. Henry slowly tugged J.'s shirt over his head. He resisted covering his chest which was still bound. Henry began kissing him gently as he slowly unwrapped J.'s chest. As he got to the last couple rounds, Henry slipped his fingers under the wrap and as he increased the depth of the kiss, Henry finished removing the wrap and then with a feather light touch, slid his hand across his chest, not lingering in any spot. He moved his hand lower and played with J.'s waistband. "Have you ever..." Henry asked.
"No," J.Jay responded but instead of pulling away, he pressed tighter against him. "Are you sure you are really interested in this body? I would understand if..."
"I am in love with J.Jay. That means the whole package, and, if you will let me, I will show you I love the body as much as the soul."
To Henry's surprise, J.Jay turned toward him and began to tug at Henry's boxers. "Henry, if I don't react like I should..."
"Darling, there is no right or wrong way. Just let me know if something doesn't feel right." Henry debated for a split second before he positioned himself between J.'s legs and after helping prop a pillow under his hips and putting on a condom, he slid his erect cock into her pussy. He felt the spot of resistance and as he clamped his mouth on J.Jay's, he gently pushed through. He felt him tense but soon an orgasm swept over both of them.
J.Jay clung to Henry. "J., are you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"Oh, no," he said softly. "Can we talk tomorrow?"
"Of course, J. Just sleep now." As Henry felt J.Jay relax and go to sleep, he kissed his forehead and then couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened and hoped it would happen again, soon.
Henry was up and out of the room before J.Jay was awake. He saw him for just a second as he went to pull the car out for Justin and then they left for the gallery.
"So, J., tell me to shut up if you want, but did something happen last night?"
"I love him." he said softly, "but I feel like a liar. I feel like a man but made love like a woman. How will I ever know who I really am?"
"J., did Henry have any issues with the way you made love?"
"He said he didn't care as long as he was with me."
"He loves you, you know."
"I just don't want to hold him back."
"Don't ever think that way, and by the way, anything happen yesterday that I need to know before we get there?"
"They are great. This is going to be the best summer ever."
"Did Cora show up at all?"
"Oh, ya, she wanted to get into your studio but I said no."
"Thanks. Looks like I will have to talk to her. If I remember right she leaves on Friday and will be gone until next Wednesday. I'm glad she travels a lot." J.Jay pulled into Justin's spot and they were off to work.
The next few days moved smoothly. Justin emailed Cora and reminded her he was renting the space upstairs so she did not have free access to his space and if she needed something up there she had to clear it with him and him alone.
Brandy and Sally were bringing Kelin over on Thursday evening so they could leave early in the morning and around 10:00 Molly and Jennifer would be picked up by Kevin. The students were going to work with J.Jay until noon and then they had the weekend to explore and J. would be around the house and help out any way he could.
Thursday night, Brian and Justin, along with Connie, made sure everything was ready for company and then they all went to their rooms to relax. Sunset was getting later, so together they watched the sky turn shades of pink and orange and then it faded to a deep purple and then midnight blue. Justin turned into Brian's arms and just held him tight. "We aren't going to have a lot of time for the two of us in the next ten days." Justin pressed his pelvis against Brian's.
"I love the way you think, and the day the girls get back you and I are taking a night just for the two of us. But right now," Brian pulled Justin's shirt off, "you and I are going to enjoy ourselves tonight."
The men rolled back and forth, taking turns being on top while they tortured each other with nips, licks, and kisses. And then, as they slipped into a spooning position, Brian sank into his love. Every few strokes Brian stopped so they both could regain control and then they would move again. They continued this for several more minutes and when they couldn't wait anymore they slipped over the top. Staying joined, they fell asleep.
Justin woke in a sweat. He slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom and splashed water on his face, trying to shake the dream he had. He hadn't had a nightmare for a long time. After Brian had rescued him from his father, he had dreams most nights, but those had stopped once Craig went to prison. But this time his dad was nowhere in sight. It was Cora who had come out of the shadows.
He stood and gazed out the window at the pool. He realized Henry and J were there in a lounge chair. He had to smile a little before he thought back to his dream. J.Jay had warned him about Cora. But she really hadn't done anything. Why was he dreaming about her? He shivered at the memory of the dream.
"What's wrong, Sunshine?" Brian's arms came around him from behind. "You're shivering." Brian gently touched Justin's forehead.
Justin reached up and took his hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it. "I'm fine. I'm so glad to see Henry and J. getting closer." Justin comments.
"You didn't answer me. What's wrong, Sunshine?"
"I really don't think anything is wrong. I just had a dream and..."
"Your dad again?"
"That's the weird thing. It was about Cora. She wasn't even around today."
"What was the dream about?"
"I don't remember all the details. I just know I was in my studio and she appeared in the corner of the room, like she was hovering at the ceiling."
Brian turned Justin to face him, "Are you telling me everything about this woman?"
"I am! The only thing she has done was invade my personal space a couple times. Maybe one of the nurses Dad had hired subconsciously reminds me of her. I don't know what else it would have been."
"Sunshine, if it was me I'd blow it off. I would say it was a side effect of all the trail mix I used to take but ..."
Justin ran his hands through Brian's thick hair and brought his head down to meet his own lips. When they separated several moments later Justin said, "I have had two brain surgeries. I am bound to have weird dreams from time to time. Now, we better get some sleep. You know the kids will be up early. Gus can't wait to see Mom and Molly." They linked fingers and walked back to bed. Laying down side by side, Justin said, "Brian, I love you."
"Love you, too, Sunshine."
It had taken Justin a little while to fall asleep so when Brian woke, he showered and dressed quietly before slipping out of the room to help Henry with the kids. Connie handed Brian a mug of coffee. "And where is Justin this morning? He didn't go in to work with J. did he?"
"No, he woke up from a dream and then he couldn't fall back to sleep."
"Does that happen often?"
"It used to, but it has been a long time. Having had brain surgery, we were told it could happen. Thankfully, they aren't a regular event anymore."
As Henry took the boys upstairs to get dressed, Brian sat next to Jessi. As Connie set some breakfast in front of Brian, she said, "I used to have a girl that worked for me that had horrible nightmares. A couple of times, when she had been hired for the whole night, I got calls because she had gotten so distraught that her associate for the night didn't want her to stay."
"Did she know what caused her dreams?"
"She had a hundred reasons. Childhood instability and abuse. I helped her transition out of the business and into my office. I helped her complete college. She is a doctoral student now. She wants to help kids that have gone through the same thing she did."
"Connie, how many women have you helped like that?"
"I don't know. Over the years it's been quite a few. That's one of the reasons it is hard not being able to get to my funds. I have been helping several girls through school. I've been out of the business for several years now but somehow I keep finding girls that need my help."
"And that's why you are working here this summer." Brian looked at the woman with a whole new perspective. "Connie, you need to sit down with my dad and Tom. Dad is down here for the summer working on setting up more donors. Once they hear your story, they will probably be able to set you up with some help."
Jessi reached for Brian, "Dadada."
"Come here, gorgeous," Brian picked her up and snuggled her tight.
"That's one cherished little girl. All your kids are so loving and kind. It is obvious that they have been taught respect and how to care for others." Connie touched Jessi's chestnut curls. "May I ask how you acquired this beauty?"
"Someone we heard about from my dad and sisters. She was single and knew she wasn't ready. I was hesitant. Aaron had just turned a year and... That reminds me. It will be Aaron's birthday in a couple weeks, but since Jenn and Molly are here this week I think we should plan something for next week. Maybe on Saturday since Friday is Justin's big premier."
"Say no more. I will plan on a cake and just let me know what you want for the meal. We can plan a pool party, unless you want..."
"That sounds perfect but I will have Justin talk to you. This is more his thing."
Henry came strolling in holding Kelin, with Aaron and Gus behind him. "Let me have that little one." Connie said and after kissing the smiling infant, she put her in a bouncy chair sitting on the counter near her.
As Henry took the boys out to the playground, a freshly showered Justin walked into the kitchen. Brian walked over and kissed him. "Good morning, Sunshine."
"Why'd you let me sleep so long?" He took Jessi from him to give her a hug and kiss.
"You needed it. It took you a long time to fall back to sleep. You okay this morning?"
"I'm good. Mom and Molly's flight is on time. I know it has only been a couple weeks but I am looking forward to seeing them."
"Gus has a list of things to do with Grandma and Aunt Molly. Sunshine, I have about an hour's worth of work. I promise it won't be longer than that. If it is, you can set Miss Jess in the middle of my desk and we both know how much she likes to crumple paper and type on the computer."
Justin laughed, "I think Connie and I can handle these little ladies." Justin reached up and touched Brian's cheek and then kissed him. "Love you."
Brian smiled, "Love you, too, Sunshine." When Brian got to the office he immediately emailed Kevin and Tom with the story Connie told him and then started contacting people on his business contact list.
Two hours later Gus was waiting on the front steps when Kevin pulled up with Molly and Jenn. Soon Henry and J.Jay, who had returned moments earlier, carried the luggage to their rooms while Gus led them into the heart of the house, the kitchen/family area. He introduced Connie and it wasn't long before Jenn and Connie were busy talking about the kids and Molly, sat on the sofa helping Aaron hold Kelin.
Justin slipped over to Brian and kissed his cheek, "Did you get your business finished?"
"I got it started. I'll fill you in tonight."
"Are you doing work for Kinnetik?"
"Well, in a roundabout way. Now, what do you say we leave the kids home with Grandpa and Grandma, not to mention an aunt and a nanny. I want to run to the store to get some liquor and Connie has a few other things she wants us to pick up."
"Sure, but next time we go out it better include dinner and liquor if you want to get lucky."
"Anytime you are on my arm, I'm lucky."
Justin held onto his arm a little tighter as they strode to the car.