I stared at the empty suitcase lying on my bed and wondered if I had completely lost my mind. My determination to go to Justin's wedding and do everything in my power to change his mind and win him back was slowly but surely weakening by the minute. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted him back more than anything, but suddenly I was realizing that he might not want me back and I didn't know if I could survive it. I was actually paralyzed with fear and couldn't even move, let alone decide what to pack.
"Oh my god, don't tell me you haven't even packed yet?" I heard Debbie behind me and immediately turned to look at her only to see that she wasn't alone. How surprising.
"You do realize we're flying in a few hours?" Michael added arching his brows.
"How the hell did you two get in here?" I looked at them in disbelief. "You know what? Don't even answer me, but I want that key back," I glared at Michael.
"I seriously hope you don't want to back out of this?" Debbie put her hands on her hips, giving me a murderous look.
"Mom, even if he wanted to, he can't - you're too scary," Michael chuckled, the situation amused him greatly, making me want to strangle him even more.
"I'm counting on that," she replied. "Because otherwise I'm going to have to rip you a new asshole and put you on the plane against your will."
"He barely needs the one he's got," Michael laughed again.
"Could you two shut up already?" I snapped. "And I'm not backing out obviously."
"I hope not, because Sunshine is waiting for you to fight for him," she said almost tearfully.
"Or he's writing his vows, not giving a flying fuck about me," I muttered under my breath.
"Kinney, I don't know what you have to do to pull yourself together and I honestly don't care, but do it quick and move your ass somewhere else so I can pack your bag," Debbie said, already making her way to my closet.
And I just stared at her with my mouth slightly open, but I didn't have the strength to protest in any way. I was actually glad I didn't have to do it myself. "Just pack me something hot," I said and headed to the kitchen, really needing a drink... or two.
"Are you planning to go see him drunk?" Michael asked, loking at me with an amused expression.
And it made my heart drop immediately. Not the drunk part, but the sudden realization that I was literally going to see him today. After four years of being apart, I was supposed to be in the same room with him by the end of this day. God, I needed the whole bottle.
"You want one?" I asked, really needing my former drinking buddy at the moment.
"Sure, why the hell not?" he smiled and took the glass from me. But judging by the look on his face, I knew I wasn't going to like what was coming. "So... how are you feeling?"
"Annoyed by your question," I replied immediately, not wanting to do this right now.
And thankfully, he understood. "Okay, but know that I'm here for you if you need me."
"Thanks, Mikey. I really appreciate it."
Half an hour and a few drinks later, Debbie finally had my suitcase successfully packed. Part of me wanted to go see if she really had followed my instructions and only packed the hot pieces, but then I realized I didn't have to because all my clothes were hot. So that made it easier. But when Debbie saw that I wasn't quite sober anymore, she probably came really close to murdering me.
"Fucking unbelievable," she exclaimed. "Only you can get drunk in a situation like this. And you," she looked at Michael angrily. "You should be making sure he's not doing anything stupid, not joining him."
"Leave him alone, Deb. I'm old enough and capable enough to make my own decisions. Plus I'm not that drunk," I smiled and took another sip.
"Please tell me you at least ate something."
"Um... you mean today?"
"Christ. I swear to God, if you throw up, I'll kick you in the nuts."
"Everything will be fine, don't worry," I said confidently.
"Uh-uh," she obviously wasn't quite convinced. But at least she stopped lecturing me.
But when it came time to pick up Ben and their stuff, I started to feel a little sick. Maybe drinking on an empty stomach, combined with the stress of knowing that Justin might not want anything to do with me, might not have been the best idea. God, I really hated that Debbie was always right.
"Feeling okay? You look pretty pale," Michael said worriedly as we reached my car.
"Yep."
"Are you sure? Maybe I should drive."
"I said I'm fine," I said clearly, but my stomach disagreed and made all sorts of noises.
"Michael is driving," Debbie said firmly, giving me no room to protest.
And I immediately sighed to make it clear that I wasn't at all excited, but right now I was a total mess and it wouldn't be wise for me to be behind the wheel. I still hated it though.
Ben was of course surprised to see Michael driving my precious car, but thankfully he didn't ask any questions or make any comments. And then we finally headed to the airport, where Emmett and Ted were already waiting for us. And it actually felt like an eternity before we finally boarded the plane. But that was nothing compared to the fact that I had to sit next to Debbie, who used it to give me another big speech about how I had to fight for Justin and not give up at any cost.
"Okay Deb, I get it, I'm supposed to fight, even tie him up and kidnap him if necessary. Now can I have some peace and quiet please?"
I expected her to punch me or at the very least threaten me, but instead a miracle happened and she actually shut up. And the award goes to... Brian Kinney.
Miraculously, I managed to sleep through the rest of the flight. I guess I was so exhausted that my body, as well as my brain, was in desperate need of rest and I was really glad for that, because it was the only way to stop thinking about all the worst case scenarios.
And of course, I woke up just as the plane was about to land.
"Did you sleep well, Sleeping Beauty?" Debbie asked amused. "Here's a napkin."
"Huh?" I looked at her confused.
"You were drooling."
"Shit," I quickly took the napkin from her and wiped my mouth. "How many pictures did you take?"
"None, unfortunately. But now that I think about it, I probably should have taken at least a few," she laughed out loud.
I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. The view was just... dazzling. I'd always dreamed of living in New York, but somehow that little shit beat me to it. Unbelievable. But all I could hope for right now was that I could convince him to give us another chance and come back to Pittsburgh with me.
When we finally landed, I was so nervous I really thought I was going to throw up. I mean, I was really excited to finally see him, but the fear I felt was indescribable.
"You owe me twenty bucks," I heard Emmett whisper behind me.
"We're not there yet… there's still a chance he backs out," Ted replied, making me turn to them with a raised eyebrow.
They both immediately smiled at me, trying to look completely innocent. Of course, I was ready to let them know what I thought of their bet, but something stopped me from doing so.
"Daddy!"
For a moment I thought I was hallucinating, but when I turned around I immediately saw Gus. And before I knew it, I had him in my arms. And it felt so good that for a minute I forgot why I was actually here. Of course, Lindsay and Melanie and J.R. joined us a moment later. We all immediately started hugging them. And even though it hadn't been that long since I last saw them, I was really glad they were here.
But now it was time to focus on what I came here to do. It was time to get Justin back, and I was willing to do whatever it took.