After picking a variety of food from Burger King, Justin and Brian, along with Nick went to the park. They found an empty bench near the lake, where they sat to enjoy their meal.

Nick seemed to be the happiest about the burgers and fries, munching on his menu happily.

Brian took two bites from the burger before he threw it back in the bag with disgust, and picked at the fries. Justin wasn’t any more pleased, but he chewed on his burger only because he was famished.

“Next time we go somewhere else. In-N-Out Burger is a good place. I only know that because Gus dragged me there last summer,” Brian explained.

“Or no fast food, at all,” Justin supplied.

“Or we could try KFC, like I told you,” Nick insisted.

“There was a big ass line in their drive-thru, you saw,” Brian replied. “Besides, they have spicy food. I’m sure you’re not allowed spicy food.”

“Not all their food is spicy. I used to get one chicken sandwich from them.”

“Uh, I’m not allowed spicy food,” Justin reminded them.

When they were done eating, Justin went to throw away the remains of their food to the nearest trashcan.

“Now, we’re going to the animals,” Nick demanded.

“You want to go to the zoo? It’s a little too late in the day for such a trip,” Brian explained.

“No, the animals in the park.”

“You can see the ducks from where we are.” Brian waved to a flock of birds near the lake.

Nick frowned, shaking his head. “The statues, Brian! The animals.” Justin chose that moment to return, and Nick turned to him. “We have to go to the animals now, Daddy.”

“What animals?” Justin threw himself back on the bench, stretching his legs in front of him.

“The statues!” Nick was close to losing his patience.

Justin peeked at him, sighing heavily. “There are no animal statues in this park. Not every park has them.”

“No?” Nick sounded heartbroken.

“What animal statues?” Brian asked curiously.

“You must know the famous statue in Central Park. We used to visit it when we went to the park. Nick loved it there.”

“Oh.”

“Then I want home,” Nick said sullenly.

They got up, and Nick walked in front of them, kicking all the twigs and pebbles he found in his way.

Justin wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist, leaning into his side. “He’ll be fine,” he said softly.

“Okay. My question is if you want to stop by my favorite Thai place and grab real food.”

“Oh, fuck yes! It’s the last time I indulge in this shit.”

“You will do it again, and you know it.”

“Yeah, for his birthday. I told Emmett I wanted to do it in a fast food place or with lots of fast food.”

“I think I’m going to be sick just thinking about that,” Brian moaned, cringing.

“I know, believe me. It’s the last time. I will convince Nick somehow to drop this shit. He wouldn’t have known what fast food was if Ethan didn’t want to relive his childhood where he wasn’t allowed similar food.”

Brian laughed. “Then allow him in moderate quantities, unless you want him to pig out on McDonald’s when he’s old enough.”

“We’ll see.”

After a detour to MyThai Food, they went home, where Nick didn’t even put up a fight about a nap.

“I’m going to nap,” he announced loudly when they stepped inside the house.

“It’s called a food coma after eating carbs,” Justin called after him, laughing.

“That wasn’t even difficult,” Brian mused, heading into the kitchen.

“He usually takes naps without prodding after a visit to the park.”

Brian took out the food from the bags. “Truth is I could use a nap, too.”

Justin chuckled, going to hug Brian from behind. “I used to think only old people had to take naps, then I found out how tiring life is…college, painting, taking care of a baby. Naps are the highlight of my day.”

“And I used to think only old or sick people napped. Then I started to feel my age,” Brian mumbled.

“Awww…come on, Brian. You’re not old.”

“So kind of you to say that.” Brian turned around to hug Justin. “Now let’s eat so we can nap.”

They took the food upstairs to the small balcony connected to their bedroom. There were two chairs and a patio table with an ashtray on it.

Justin stared at the view as he ate, lost in thought. Brian kept his eyes on Justin as he emptied his box.

“What tree is this?” Justin pointed to the one closer to them.

“How the fuck should I know? It was there when I got the house.”

“If it’s a poplar then I know why my allergies are all over the place.”

“Is there anything you aren’t allergic to? And don’t get smart.”

“Latex,” Justin grinned.

“I said don’t get smart,” Brian said, amused.

“Do you see me laughing? I’m serious. Just imagine if I was allergic to latex, as well.”

“I’d have dropped your ass faster than you can say allergy.”

“Somehow, I don’t believe that,” Justin said gently.

Brian clenched his jaw. “There are non-latex condoms out there, you know? I’d know, I made an ad for them a couple of years ago.”

Justin stopped mid-shoving food in his mouth. “There are? I bet they cost an arm and a leg.”

“It’s supposed to be a new trend…you know? They want people to stop using rubbers, plastics…yada yada.”

“For some it’s more than that, I bet.”

“I tested a few of them, for experimental purposes. I didn’t feel much of a difference, and they all almost broke or they actually broke.”

“Shit. That sucks.”

Brian shrugged. “Whatever. Thank God, we don’t have to use them.” He lit himself a cigarette, putting his bare feet up on the railing.

Justin finished his food, but kept his eyes on Brian. He was so at ease, like everything was perfect. And it was, Justin realized.

He had to remind himself that this was a new chapter of his life and everything was perfect. All the suffering and trouble was gone. He had to allow himself to be happy now, to stop feeling guilty for being happy, for returning where he belonged in Brian’s arms so fast after he had lost Ethan, he had to stop thinking he was making all those steps for Nick, because most of his decisions in the past few weeks had been for himself.

“Tell me something,” Brian said after a while.

Justin felt his heart squeezing, expecting questions about his life in New York, it seemed to be Brian’s favorite topic.

“Yeah?” Justin placed his empty box on the coffee table, slouching in the chair.

“What made you decide to have Nick? I mean, why your sperm and not Ian’s?” Justin was continuously amused how Brian refused to say Ethan’s name, yet it showed how much he disliked him, for which he understood Brian completely.

“I wanted him to be mine. Maybe I knew, deep inside, the reason to accept Ethan back in my life and start a family with him wasn’t sound enough to have a child. It was like I knew something was going to happen.”

“Stop this sugar-coating fairytale. I caved to Lindsay’s pleas only because despite being a fag, I wanted to leave something behind. And I knew how much she and Melanie wanted a baby. I believed it would change me, because I knew there were things I had to do differently once I became a father.”

Justin took a cigarette, mulling over Brian’s words. “I didn’t know you before, but you’ve changed since we met.”

“All the changes I ever made were for me, I hope you know that by now.” Brian turned to Justin, lifting a brow.

“Yeah, I know.” Justin smoked slowly for a few moments. “To answer your question, I wanted a purpose in life. I wanted someone who would always be there…a part of me. I know I will leave behind my name and my paintings, but Nick is…it’s different. I don’t even know how to explain it.”

“I know what you mean.”

“I can’t even imagine life without him now. I know you were worried about helping the girls provide for Gus when you lost your job. The week before I returned to Pittsburgh, I kept thinking if I was making a good move…for the long run…for Nick. On top of taking care of things regarding the funeral, dealing with my haywire emotions about losing Ethan, I had to keep a clear head about a good future for my son.”

“This is the best decision you could have ever made.” Brian leaned closer, cupping the back of Justin’s head and kissing him slowly. “And I want you to continue doing things for yourself. Of course, keep Nick in your mind, but live for yourself, Justin. You never did.”

“It makes me happy to help others,” Justin retorted.

Brian rolled his eyes, pressing his forehead to Justin’s. “I hate repeating myself. You only got yourself. If you aren’t happy, no matter what you do for others, it doesn’t matter.” He pulled away, stubbing the butt of his cigarette to the ashtray. “So, starting now, you start living the life you want, the life you deserve.”

Panic settled in Justin’s chest. To do what Brian suggested, he had to compromise and be selfish and think only for himself.

“I want to hear what horses you want to buy by the end of the week.”

“It’s Sunday,” Justin mumbled.

“Next week.” Brian got up, picking their boxes. “I’m going to nap. I suggest you do the same, we didn’t sleep much in the past few days.”

“I don’t want a nap,” Justin protested.

“Suit yourself.” Brian stepped back inside the house, going to throw the food boxes in the bathroom trashcan.

Justin threw his cigarette in the ashtray, hurrying after Brian. He caught him on his way back from the bathroom.

Justin slipped a hand under Brian’s shirt, touching his abs. He kept his eyes on Brian’s, hoping Brian would get the hint.

“How could I forget I had to fuck you ten times a day to keep you satisfied?” Brian joked.

“I’m glad nothing has changed in that department, and we are still mad about each other. I somehow forgot how it is to be in a constant state of horniness around you.”

“It’s my animal magnetism,” Brian laughed, taking his shirt off.

#

On Monday, Justin woke up to a post-it note propped against his mug, saying ‘I took Nick to school’.

Justin wasn’t sure how it was nine in the morning. He hadn’t slept so late in ages. He hadn’t even heard when Brian got up.

After making himself a sandwich, he took his coffee and plate to the living room, where he found his abandoned sketchpad.

Justin had worked on a new drawing the previous evening, while Brian had attempted to teach Nick how to play chess.

Justin looked through the pages filled with his drawings, and it was obvious when the art looked more authentic and filled with passion. Even if it was just his son sleeping in the guest bedroom upstairs, it was clear, his drawings had caught life once again since his return to Pittsburgh.

Hit by inspiration, Justin hurried to get his easel and a blank canvas installed on the back porch.

He was deep into his painting when his phone rang from the rocker where he had thrown it earlier. Justin didn’t like being interrupted, but he knew it was Brian calling, and he would have a hissy fit if he didn’t answer.

“Hey,” Justin answered, tucking the phone between his cheek and shoulder, returning to his painting.

“Hey. Can you go and get Nick from school? I have a last minute meeting scheduled for one o’clock.”

“What time is it?” Justin had no idea how late it was.

“Twelve thirty. You can bring the Corvette, and we can switch. The Jeep’s keys are on my desk,” Brian said hurriedly.

Justin could hear loud voices in the background, and could only imagine how busy Brian was. “Okay. I better go and get ready.”

“And don’t wait for me to eat. I have dinner plans,” he added.

“Thanks for letting me know.” Justin smiled at the little things Brian had changed, and how he was communicating. “I’ll leave the ‘vette keys on your desk. Go, be awesome!”

Brian laughed. “I always am. Later.”

Justin hung up, looking with longing at his painting which had been catching life under his brush, but it had to wait.

He went to get dressed and hopped in the car. Thankfully, he made it to the first gas station without any incidents, considering the car seemed to have no gas left judging by the red light flashing on the dashboard.

By the time he made it into the city, traffic made him go straight to Nick’s school. Justin could only hope the police wouldn’t stop him on the way to Kinnetik, because having a child in the passenger seat of a Corvette Stingray wasn’t considered safe.

Nick was beside himself with happiness to ride in Brian’s cool car.

“Are you okay, Daddy?” Nick asked suddenly, when they were on their way to Kinnetik.

Justin glanced at him, frowning. “Yes. Why do you ask?”

“I think you’re bleeding.”

“What?” Justin gasped, tapping his nose, because what else could bleed. He didn’t feel anything.

“Your cheek and your brow is all red and gooey. Did you hit your head?”

Awareness dawned to Justin, as he carefully touched his right brow. Sure enough, it was gooey…and red, when he checked his hand. He must have touched his face while painting, but he usually got covered in paint. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. “It’s just paint. I was working on something new when Brian called to tell me to pick you up. Fuck.” He grabbed the wheel with both hands when the light ahead turned red and the car in front of them slammed their brakes. Once their car was stopped as well, Justin turned to check on Nick. “You good?”

“I think so.”

“Sorry, Nick. I should have been more careful.”

They arrived at Kinnetik without any further incidents.

Justin’s phone rang when he parked behind the Jeep. “Hey, Emmett!”

Nick squirmed in the passenger seat. “I have the pee,” he said loudly when Justin turned to him.

“Hold on a sec, Emmett,” he said, getting out of the car. He locked it and handed the keys to Nick. “Put these on Brian’s desk and take the keys for the Jeep. They have the pride flag as a charm.”

“I know,” Nick mumbled.

“Also, you can use his bathroom. I’ll wait here.” Justin looked after Nick, walking into Kinnetik all important, holding the car keys and smiling. “Right, sorry. Did you want to talk?” He asked into the phone, running a hand through his hair.

“If you’re busy, it can wait. I found a few locations for the party. I want to talk to you about this because renting a spot in one of these playgrounds in fast food restaurants is more expensive than a wedding.”

Justin snorted, but he had to believe Emmett since he knew better about the prices of such parties. “We’re at Kinnetik now. If you’re close, we can meet at the diner.”

“I am at the diner,” he answered, amused.

“Awesome! Wait for us there. Nick should be done in five minutes tops and we’ll drive there.”

“Sure, baby. Do you want me to order? It’s crazy busy.”

“Yeah, Pink Plate Special for Nick and a chicken sandwich for me. Thanks!”

Justin was halfway through his cigarette when Nick returned, holding the Jeep keys. To Justin’s surprise, Brian was behind Nick.

“I thought you were in a meeting,” Justin said, amused.

Brian paled when his eyes landed on Justin. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“What? Oh, fuck.” Justin palmed his paint-covered face. “It’s paint. Nick pointed out I had gooey red stuff on my face.”

“Christ,” Brian breathed, wrapping his arms around Justin. “You scared the shit out of me for a second.”

Justin grimaced, leaning back to cup Brian’s cheek and look into his hazel eyes, which were filled with raw emotions. “I’m sorry.” He could only imagine what memories the sight of red stuff on his face triggered for Brian.

Brian’s eyes narrowed fractionally. “Did you just put paint on my cheek?”

Justin snatched his hand away, staring at the red spot on Brian’s face. He made to scrub it with the sleeve of his shirt, but Brian pulled away.

“Let’s wash your face before you give someone else a heart attack. Come on, kiddo, back inside,” he said to Nick, steering them inside the building. “Oh, and you’re a genius to send him in on his own.”

“Did you get lost?” Justin asked, surprised, looking at his son.

“He had trouble with the buckle of his belt.”

Justin felt terrible, though he didn’t understand why Nick had to take his pants off to pee.

Nick sat on the couch while Brian and Justin went into the en-suite bathroom.

Brian caught Justin’s eyes through the mirror, as they cleaned their faces. He smiled widely, making liquid fire course through Justin’s body.

“I’m meeting Emmett to talk about Nick’s party,” Justin said, trying to distract them from a quickie. It would be highly inappropriate.

“Do you need my approval?” Brian pushed his tongue in his cheek. “Maybe wait for the pony, dear. At least, until the stables are usable.”

“You know…” Justin patted his scrubbed clean cheek with a paper towel. “…I think you like too much to call me ‘dear’ and you prefer to use it as sarcasm.”

“I think you should revisit the Brian Kinney manual. Mikey might have copies, in case you lost it.”

“I’m onto you, Brian.”

“Dream on, Sunshine. I have to go back to the meeting.” Brian kissed Justin’s lips, full of lingering promises, before he was gone.

Justin left the bathroom, taking Nick by the hand and leaving. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d need help.”

“Well, Brian helped me. I scared him when he came into the bathroom and found me there,” he snickered.

Justin rolled his eyes. At least, Nick hadn’t gone in search of Brian, like he had believed.

“You hungry?”

“I guess.”

“We’re going to the diner to meet my friend Emmett. We’ll eat there.”

“Okay.”

Justin helped Nick in the backseat, buckling him up before going behind the wheel. When he started the engine, a loud song came on full blast. It had to be Nine Inch Nails screaming about being fucked like an animal. Of course, Brian would listen to something like this at full volume, probably with the windows rolled down, too, so the whole street would hear it.

Justin hurried to turn the volume down and change the song, but the next one was even worse. Brian's eclectic taste in music was insane. Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ was not what Justin expected to hear after a rock song.

Justin pulled the flash drive from the slot, making a mental note to talk to Brian about his fucking playlist. He hoped Brian hadn’t listened to these songs in the morning when he took Nick to school.