Brian woke up to an empty bed.

He blinked slowly, unsure why he was awake. The curtains had been left open, and he could see the night sky was too bright for the late hour, which meant it was snowing.

He glanced toward the bathroom, but the light was off.

It was unlike Justin to wake up in the middle of the night. Unless Nick had a bad dream, and he had gone to soothe him, and fell asleep next to him. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Brian found his phone on the nightstand and noticed it was close to three in the morning. They had gone to bed around eleven, but he wasn’t sure when they had actually fallen asleep considering Justin had undressed and thrown himself in the middle of the bed, grinning slyly.

Brian tugged on his briefs, then wrapped his silk robe around his body, going in search of his man.

He found Justin curled on the futon near the fireplace, concentrating on the sketchpad on his lap. He walked closer, making Justin jump, startled.

“What are you doing awake?” Brian asked, confused.

“I can’t sleep.”

Brian peered closer to Justin's drawing, and saw the perfect replica of their fireplace, complete with the background and surroundings.

“Did you even try to sleep?”

Justin shook his head. “I got up shortly after you fell asleep. It’s been a while since I had insomnia. I used to get it a lot in New York. And funny thing was, I wasn’t tired in the morning…but my head would hurt like fuck.”

“Of course, because of no sleep.” Brian sat next to him, stroking his hair. “I didn’t even know you had insomnia.”

Justin grimaced. “I hate to say this, Brian, but there’s a lot you don’t know about my life in New York.” Justin placed his head against Brian's shoulder. “I’ve been thinking of going to therapy.”

“I thought you hated therapy.”

“Well…I need to talk to someone about everything. I only get insomnia when I’m so deep in my head, I manage to work myself up toward a panic attack,” he admitted.

“And why the fuck didn’t you wake me?” Brian demanded.

“Drawing has always been my therapy. I always sort out through my crazy thoughts when I draw,” Justin explained.

“Care to explain what happened?”

“I felt overwhelmed,” he mumbled, hugging the sketchpad to his chest. “When I noticed it was snowing so nicely…with these big flakes…I was immediately transported back in my past. Believe me, I hate how I can’t seem to let go,” he added hastily. “I remembered how I used to sit on the windowsill in our bedroom and watch it snow. Winters in New York are something else.”

“So I hear,” Brian said softly, stroking Justin's hair.

“I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep the longer I stared at how it was snowing. So I came here to see it better. Then I got lost in my head.”

“Can I ask what were you thinking?”

Justin shook his head, laughing. “You don’t want to know.”

“Try me.”

“I don’t want to tell you. I can’t even make sense of half of the things where my brain wanders.”

“We used to talk about this stuff,” Brian reminded him quietly. He pulled Justin closer, kissing along his neck. “We sat in the dark like now, and you told me about your problems.”

“Yeah, I was a stupid kid back then. Now I know some things are better left unsaid…and I know I have to work out this stuff on my own…with a professional.”

“I know someone, if it is what you want.”

Justin snorted. “I wonder if there’s ever a someone you don’t know regarding any area.”

“With my job, I know a lot of people,” Brian explained. “And sometimes, I made acquaintances from new fields in the Backroom.”

“I’m sure your tricks told you about their lives while you fucked them,” Justin joked.

Brian laughed, rubbing Justin's back. “Not quite, but take Shane as an example. I’d probably be dead if he didn’t blow me and found the lump on my ball.”

Justin squeezed his eyes shut, stroking Brian's arm. “I see what you mean. And I get it…I mean, I used to meet various people during my shows.”

Brian kissed the top of Justin's head. “Just tell me if you want to go to therapy. I have a friend.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“Now, how about we head to bed? Some of us have to wake up early and shovel the snow.” Brian scowled in the window’s direction.

“You go. I can’t sleep.” Justin readjusted his position in the futon, rearranging his sketchpad.

Brian plucked the sketchpad from his hands, placing it on the floor, then he pulled Justin up by the hand. He covered Justin's lips with his, muffling his protests.

“I’m sure I can tire you enough to fall asleep,” Brian promised.

“Doubtfully,” Justin mumbled, but succumbed to Brian's kisses.

Justin untied Brian's robe, caressing his toned abdomen, before dipping a hand into his underwear. Brian gasped, throwing his head back, and allowing Justin access to lick and nip at his exposed throat.

“No hickeys,” Brian warned in a low voice.

Justin licked at a reddening area, knowing he would get hell later. He lowered to his knees, taking Brian's briefs off, before taking him in his mouth. Brian wrapped his fingers into Justin's hair, grunting loudly.

“Shhh,” Justin hissed, because the sound had somehow reverberated in the quiet room.

The last thing they wanted was for Nick to interrupt them.

Brian guided Justin's head movements, lost in the pleasure. He even allowed Justin to squeeze his ass under the silk robe. “Fuck, Justin.”

Justin bobbed his head faster, gripping the back of Brian's thighs, but when Brian attempted to hold his head in place so he could seek his release, Justin slowly stood. He licked a trail up to Brian's lips, where they shared a carnal kiss, before Brian pushed him on all four on the carpet in front of the fireplace.

Justin fought with his sleep pants which got tangled around his ankles, but Brian helped him. Then Justin's T-shirt joined the pile of clothes.

Brian pressed his thumb into Justin's ass which accepted him without much prompting after their lovemaking several hours ago. Justin stretched his chest across the soft carpet when Brian pushed into him, making him go in deeper.

Brian leaned over Justin’s back, gripping the hair at the base of his neck, making Justin arch his back, moaning loudly. Brian moved his hand to cover Justin's mouth.

“Fuck me,” Justin breathed against Brian's palm, slapping a hand back to clutch at Brian's hip. “Fuck me hard.”

Brian held him down with his hands anchored on Justin's shoulders, then he started pumping hard. Justin bit on his fist, thrusting back against Brian's movements until stars exploded behind his eyes.

Brian kept fucking him through his release, before he came undone, shuddering and flopping next to Justin on the carpet, breathing harshly.

“That was so hot,” Justin gasped, smiling lazily, reaching over to tangle his fingers with Brian's.

Brian bent an arm behind his head as he turned to look at his fiancé. “It was,” he admitted. He rolled on his side, running the back of his fingers down over Justin's spine. “You have such smooth skin.”

“Thanks,” Justin said, chuckling, leaning closer to kiss Brian.

“Dadddy! Brian! Daaadddy! It’s snowing!”

Justin shot up, snatching his sleep pants and tugging them on just in time for Nick to dash down the stairs. He eyed them suspiciously.

Brian hugged his robe around his waist, sitting up slowly.

“You say it as if it hasn’t snowed a hundred times this season. It’s already February,” Justin said gently, rearranging his pants before picking Nick up.

Brian watched as Justin shuffled, holding a hand to his ass.

“Let me,” Brian offered, taking Nick from him. He knew Justin had to clean up, and it was close to impossible with Nick around.

“But it snows so nice,” Nick insisted. “Can we go out?”

Justin pointed to the clock on the mantelpiece. “It’s four in the morning.”

“It’s really pretty.”

“The snow will still be there when we leave for school,” Brian explained. “And you need to go back to sleep, or you’ll be a grouch in a couple of hours.”

“Just five minutes. Pleeeease.” Nick pouted, hugging Brian around the neck.

“I can’t,” Justin mouthed.

“Go,” Brian mouthed back, taking Nick to the window. “Look.” He opened the window, shivering at the cold blast that hit him. “It will take too long to get dressed for going outside, then you won’t fall back asleep.”

Nick picked snow from the glass, before it could melt to the floor. Then he pressed his wet and freezing hands to Brian's face.

“Nick, what the hell?” Brian closed the window harshly. “Jesus.” He couldn’t feel his face, but it was funny how comfortable Nick was with him.

“I want out. Where’s Daddy?” He looked around, confused.

“He didn’t want to hear you whining,” Brian said, amused.

Nick pouted.

“How about you go back to bed now? I’ll wake you in a couple of hours to help me take the snow from the driveway,” Brian compromised.

“Yay! Deal.”

“Good.” Brian carried Nick to his room, placing him in bed.

“Is Daddy really upset?”

“I doubt it. He was headed to the bathroom when you came to us,” Brian lied, which proved like a good idea.

“Oh, okay. Good night, Brian.”

“Night, kiddo.”

Brian found Justin in their bathroom, toweling his wet hair.

“I don’t know what the fuck you do…but he listens to you,” Justin commented, surprised. “I take it, you didn’t go outside.”

Brian stopping in front of the toilet to piss. “No, but I opened the window and the little shit put snow on my face.”

Justin laughed. “Still, it doesn’t explain how he listens to you.”

Brian flushed, rolling his eyes. “It’s like he never listens to you.”

“I wouldn’t have won this argument,” Justin pointed out, placing the towel on the heated rack.

Brian went to wash his hands and met Justin's eyes through the mirror. “Don’t tell me, this happened in the past.”

“Last year…in January. We couldn’t reason with him when he came to wake us up because he wanted outside. It was snowing so pretty,” Justin said mockingly. “Believe me, neither of us managed to talk sense into him.”

Brian grimaced. “I have a way with, kids, dear.”

“Fuck off,” Justin said, amused, slapping Brian's ass.

As Brian turned around, ready to head to bed. He noticed a red spot on his neck. He tilted his head to see what was there because he couldn’t remember pinching his skin during shaving.

“What the fuck, Sunshine?” he hissed. He leaned closer to the mirror. “I told you no hickeys.”

“You’re a married man now. Grow up.”

Justin returned to the bedroom with Brian hot on his heels.

“I fucking hate marks on my body. I’ll become the gossip subject at the water cooler about what an insecure twat I have at home who had to mark me as his.”

Justin threw himself on the bed. “I thought you couldn’t wait to become the gossip subject at the water cooler,” he teased. “Besides, I didn’t mean to.”

“Well, watch your teeth next time.”

“Jesus, Brian. I don’t see what the big deal is. I’ll be careful.”

Brian shrugged out of the robe and got under the blanket, glaring at the ceiling in the darkness. Justin would understand if he told him, but it would also earn him pity, which Brian hated.

Brian turned around, throwing an arm around Justin's body, kissing his naked shoulder. “I had enough marks on my body growing up. I fucking hate seeing any kind of bruises on my skin,” he admitted softly.

“Shit, Brian. Fuck. I didn’t even…I’m sorry,” Justin whispered, turning around to hug him. He tucked his head under Brian's chin to kiss the hickey.

“You didn’t know. You couldn’t have guessed. See…I’m sharing shit that I should probably talk to a shrink about but that will never happen.”

Justin stiffened, breathing heavily against Brian's throat. “Fine…you’re as subtle as an elephant.” He took a shuddering breath. “I let my mind wander too deep…to a life in New York where no terrible things would have happened…where I would have never reconnected with you. Then I thought about our upcoming wedding…and how I didn’t deserve you…how you forgave me every time I hurt you. Then…somehow, I envisioned sharing our wedding day with Molly…and then my new memories assaulted me…Fuck.” Justin pressed his forehead to Brian's shoulder. “I had to get out of the bed and clear my head.”

“Christ, Justin.” Brian rubbed his back slowly. “Wake me up next time this happens. And my offer stands…if you really want a professional.”

“I do,” Justin whispered, lifting his head enough to meet Brian's eyes in the dark room.

Brian smiled widely, despite their serious conversation. “When are you going to tell Emmett we’ve decided on August?”

“After I renew my Xanax prescription,” Justin joked. “Maybe this week. He’ll complain it’s short notice, anyway.”

“We’re doing it in our backyard, so there will be no need to find a place,” Brian reminded him.

“I’ll talk to him. You can tell him, too, you know.”

“Yeah…I’d rather skip. Let’s get some sleep. I’m dreading shoveling the snow from the driveway…again. Fucking winter.”

Justin laughed. “At least, someone is happy about the snow.”

“Don’t worry. Nick promised to help me.”

Justin cupped his mouth to muffle his louder laughter. “Good luck with that.”