Later that evening, while Justin was making dinner at Daphne’s place, he got the much awaited call from Mitchell. He let Justin know the moving truck would arrive at the given address at some point the next morning.

Brian went to the kitchen when he heard Justin had stopped talking on the phone. “Any news?”

“Yeah. I have to be at your house tomorrow morning when the moving truck arrives.”

“You mean home.”

“Brian, please don’t complicate this more than it is.”

Nick joined them to inspect if dinner was ready.

“Soon. Here, chew on this carrot stick.” Justin offered his son the peeled vegetable. “Now, go back to watching cartoons.”

“Would you come with me?” Nick asked Brian, shyly.

Justin was surprised his son had befriended Brian so fast. He had barely talked to anyone at the diner, but when it was only Brian around, he didn’t seem to have a problem.

“Go with him. Dinner won’t be ready for at least half an hour. Could you call Daph to see if she’s coming?”

“Sure. Though, shouldn’t we go home? I mean, if the truck arrives in the morning…we should be there.”

“Talk to Daph, then we decide.”

Daphne turned out to be busy at the hospital, but threatened them if they planned on leaving without saying goodbye.

Brian didn’t promise her anything, so later that night when he helped Justin with his suitcases, he didn’t feel too bad. Nick was almost asleep when they got in the car, around nine.

“Thank you,” Justin said after a few minutes of driving in silence.

“I don’t mind holding him.”

“I mean, allowing us to stay with you. I promise we’ll be out of your hair soon. I know you need your space.”

“Not as much space as Britin provides. I get bored a lot.”

Justin caught Brian’s eye in the rearview mirror, surprised by his admission. He was met with the most honest look he had seen at Brian. “You mean the tricks don’t keep you entertained anymore?”

“I never brought a trick to Britin.”

“Stop this, Brian. I know what you’re trying to do.”

“Actually, I’m merely answering your questions. Did I ever lie to you?”

Justin fell silent, narrowing his eyes at the road ahead. He tried not to think of the last few months of his relationship with Brian. They always had a toxic relationship, but it had escalated all limits by the time it blew up.

oOo

Justin decided to visit Brian, missing him too much. He had a window of a week in his schedule. What better way to spend it than in his lover’s arms?

When he stepped into Babylon, he knew something was going to happen. Justin wasn’t a huge fan of the Leather Ball, but he knew Brian loved it. He had especially dressed in tight leather pants and a see-through white tee.

By now everyone knew he and Brian were together, and not to step in between them. At least, not when Justin was in town.

Since Justin hadn’t called ahead to tell Brian he would be there, he expected to find his boyfriend in the backroom, getting his dick sucked. But not sandwiched between two leather daddies, stoned, and moaning in pleasure.

In that moment, all of Justin’s insecurities exploded.

Has Brian done this before? If so, how often?

Why didn’t he ever tell Justin about this?

Justin had been sure topping Brian was his exclusive right. Exactly like he had given up bottoming for anyone but Brian. Apparently, Brian didn’t appreciate it.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Justin shoved the two intruders away.

In his lust haze, Brian noticed Justin, and smiled brightly, stumbling to him. “Sunshine!” He wrapped his arms around him. “What a surprise!”

Justin scowled in disgust, disentangling from Brian. He stomped out the backroom with tears burning in his eyes.

“Hey, wait up! You just got here.” Brian caught up with him as soon as he had his pants up and half buttoned.

“Fuck you, Brian! How could you do that? I don’t care what you took, but you aren’t allowed to do that!”

“What the fuck? Since when do you dictate what I do and don’t?”

“I thought bottoming for each other was our thing. Silly, little me,” Justin sneered, turning around, ready to storm out when Brian caught his elbow.

The music chased. Everybody stopped dancing. All eyes and ears were on their little show.

“Don’t turn your back on me, Justin!”

“Or what?”

“I put up enough with your little artiste life in New York. Do you think it’s easy to know you’re there…doing fuck knows what? Then you come back to earth from your little show and waltz in here having the audacity to comment on my lifestyle?” Brian shouted, incredulously. “This is who I am. You know that!”

“You don’t let people fuck you! That part of you is mine!” Tears slid down Justin’s cheeks. “It was the only part of you I thought I didn’t have to share with half of Pittsburgh!”

“Don’t be a twat!” Brian pulled Justin out of the club. Their peers had heard enough. “The only part of me that is all yours is my heart, Justin.”

“Oh, really? Isn’t there a spot, a rather large one, for Michael?”

Brian knuckled his forehead. “Why are we bringing Mikey into discussion?”

“That’s why. You love him. He let go of you. Maybe you should too.”

“What the fuck? Justin, you know it doesn’t compare to how I feel for you. As for what you saw…it wasn’t like that.”

“I hate that expression. I know what I saw.” Justin stood in the middle of the street, glaring at Brian. “We can’t do this. You don’t trust me when I’m New York. Well, I don’t trust you anymore.”

“I never said that.”

“Brian, choose. Me, or them.” Justin made an ample hand gesture around them to the gathered crowd of queers.

“I plan on branching out Kinnetik.”

“Okay,” Justin said through the knot in his throat. “I get it. They’re better than me.”

“I plan on coming to New York,” Brian snapped.

“That would be…different city, same shit. Look, I get it. You love the thrill of fucking a different guy every night. Knock yourself out.”

“What do you mean?” Fear gripped Brian. Justin’s words scared him.

“I mean, this is it.”

“You don’t mean it. Let’s go home and talk about it.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. We’re done. You don’t understand the concept of a normal relationship. Okay. I accept that.”

“But?” Brian sucked on his lips.

“But I won’t let you drag me into this abyss. I want a real relationship, Brian. For a while, I thought we could do it. I’m sorry.”

“That’s all you have to say? You throw away everything because you think you saw another guy fucking me? You don’t trust me? Well, I don’t trust you, either.” Brian towered over Justin, yelling into his face. “I never gave you a reason not to trust me. You did—but I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

“You’re such a hypocrite! I made one mistake!”

“Try a thousand! You left more times than I can count…and I always waited for you, even came after you once or twice. So don’t point at me. You’re a million times guiltier than I am for this relationship going to shit.”

“Are you done?” Justin held his tears, too angry to let them fall.

“Not in the least, but it seems you are. So, go back to your fancy life in New York.”

For the first time since they started the argument, Justin looked around them. He saw the shocked expressions on their friends’ and their peers’ faces. He returned his eyes to Brian, who was still glaring at him.

“Get the fuck out of my sight. You ungrateful little shit.”

Justin started regretting the whole fight. “Brian…”

“We’re done.” Brian spun on his heels, heading back inside the club.

Ashamed and crushed, Justin ran away from Emmett’s outstretched hand. He ran and ran and ran, until he reached Daphne’s place.

oOo

Justin parked in front of the house. “Can you get in unassisted? I’ll take Nick to the guestroom and be right back.”

“Of course. I’ll turn the heat up.”

“Thanks.”

Brian unlocked the front door, flipping on lights. While Justin took his son to bed, he scrounged the drawers in the kitchen for painkillers. Not recommended, Brian paired the pills with scotch.

“At this rate, I’m surprised you’re still alive,” Justin said, entering the kitchen. He snatched the bottle from Brian’s hand, taking a few gulps himself. “Are you sure about me staying here?”

Brian pointed to his foot.

“After that. You’ll get better in a few days. I had my ankle sprained too, a few years ago.”

“You did?” He retrieved his bottle, taking a swig. “You need your hands to paint, not feet.”

“Yeah, but back then Nick was three, I think. He loved leaving his toys all over the place. I stepped on a toy car and slid on it. I stopped when I hit the wall, but fuck, my foot hurt like shit.”

“I once stepped on one of Gus’s Legos. My toes hated me for days.”

“How’s Gus?” Justin leaned against the counter, keeping his eyes on Brian who was slumped in a chair.

“He’s fine, thanks for asking.”

“How old is he now? Eleven, twelve?” He reached for the bottle.

“Fifteen. Urgh. The munchers cornered me the last time I visited, demanding I should think seriously of giving him The Talk. He’s a kid, for fuck’s sake!”

Justin choked on his gulp of alcohol. “Not that much older than you were on your first time.”

Brian snatched his bottle back. “Why is everyone rubbing that shit in my face?”

“It’s a true fact. You used to boast about how you sucked off your gym teacher at only fourteen. Well, look how that’s turned against you.”

“Just wait until you have to give your kid the sex talk before he’s even the age you fucked for the first time.”

Justin snorted. “You know what’s funny? My parents didn’t really have a sit down with me or talk to me about sex. It was you who taught me stuff.”

“Let’s hope I won’t have to go in too much details with Gus.” Brian shuddered. “What the fuck should I tell him? I don’t know shit about twat. Heck, we don’t even know if he likes twat. Did I mention he’s fifteen?”

“Well, don’t pressure him if he doesn’t know what he likes. If he turns out straight, I’m sure it’s going to be hard for him to tell you.”

“Yeah, I remember how gutted Mikey and the Professor were when Hunter turned out to be straight, after all.” He rolled his eyes. “Seriously, whatever Gus chooses he likes, it’s fine by me. But not for at least five more years. I’m not ready to see him grow up. I already feel ancient.”

“Don’t tell me you still feel that way. I mean, sure, sometimes when I look at Nick, especially on his birthdays, I realize I’m getting older, but so fucking what? I have him. He’s everything. He’s all I got at the moment.”

Brian averted his eyes, sighing heavily. He wished his son was near all the time too, but he was miles away. The two people he loved the most in the world had left him at the same time. He couldn’t keep Justin, but he tried his best to be there for Gus whenever he needed him, in any form he could.

“You miss him, don’t you?” Justin stepped closer, hovering a hand over Brian’s shoulder, before squeezing it. “Have you thought about moving there?”

“I did, but my life is here. Besides, I keep hoping they’ll move back.”

“You know they won’t. Unless they legalize same-sex marriages in Pennsylvania,” Justin said softly, rubbing Brian’s shoulder. “Do you visit often?”

“As often as I can.” Brian took a swig from the bottle. “It fucking guts me every time I see him. He’s always taller and smarter and more mature. You’re lucky to have Nick.”

“I am,” Justin agreed. “He’s kept me leveled these past few days. I have no idea where I’d be if he didn’t exist.”

“Don’t be silly. You’d have pulled through. And you will.”

Justin sank in the chair next to Brian, stretching his feet under the table. “You know, I gave it some thought. I know how to explain to you my feelings for Ethan so you’ll understand.”

Brian cringed. He hoped they would avoid the Ethan subject.

“I loved him just like you love Michael. Can you imagine how you’d feel if something happened to Michael?”

“I nearly lost him in that bombing. I don’t ever want to feel like that,” Brian admitted.

“Exactly. That’s how I feel, but for me it happened. I lost Ethan. Brian, please stop looking at me like that. If you want this cohabitation to work out, you have to accept that I had a relationship with Ethan for seven years. We were happy.”

“Allow me not to believe you. If you decided to compare your relationship with him to my friendship with Michael, please let me not believe you. I doubt I could live with Michael for more than a few hours, without wanting to knock him in the head or duct tape his mouth.”

“It was a matter of speaking. All I’m asking is for you to stop scoffing or scowling when I mention him. It is what it is. Can we leave the past where it is and try moving on?”

“Was that a cryptic way of admitting you still want me?” Brian frowned.

“That’s another thing—there won’t be an us again. Ever. Clear?”

“Whatever you say.”

Justin ground his teeth together, getting up, before disappearing upstairs. He was strong. He wasn’t going to cave to whatever games Brian decided to play.

Not even if Brian proved to be completely changed, Justin wouldn’t go back to him. He was going to make it on his own.