Wednesday October 25th St. Francis Art room D7 at 8:49 pm.

There was a sound from the open door, yet Justin refused to look up because he already knew who it was. It’s not that he didn’t want to see Ethan or was even upset with him, he just didn’t want the drama associated with all things Gregory. The latter had made it painstakingly clear that as far as he was concerned Ethan was out of reach for Justin. And Justin like the good little wasp that he was had kept his distance to avoid the fallout that he knew was sure to come.

“Can we talk?” asked Ethan, recognizing that Justin wasn’t going to acknowledge him.

“I guess.” said Justin without looking up.

“Come on Justin, don’t give me the cold shoulder.”

“I’m not,” he said shading in his sketch.

The truth was that he had missed Ethan in his bed for the last couple of nights, he missed the kissing, the sucking and even the cuddling. Therefore, he had completely isolated himself from him, after all it was hard for a seventeen-year-old to be sleeping in the same room of a willing party and not give in to it. Not that Ethan had tried to seduce him.

He heard Ethan sigh and move closer.  “What are you sketching?”

Justin looked up then and gave him a small smile. “You.”

“Me?” said Ethan perplexed, his intense brown eyes boring into Justin’s blue ones.

“Yeah, just out of memory though, I just close my eyes,” and he did, “and try to capture the image of you playing Misha.”

“Well I can play and you can sketch me whenever you like,” Ethan said moving towards Justin until he was standing over him. He bent down to look at the sketch and smiled. “Perfect likeness.”

Justin smiled back but it quickly faded when Ethan said, “Did I do something wrong?”

Justin shook his head and ran a hand through his blond hair. “Of course not.”

“Then? Is it because of what you overheard Gregory saying? He told you something else didn’t he?”

Justin looked away and sighed. I really wanted to avoid this, but at las here comes the drama. “Look, I feel like I’m in the way-“

“But you’re not!” Ethan protested.

Justin gave him a skeptical look and continued, “There’s obviously something still going on between the two of you, and I don’t want to get in the way. I will just step to the side and let you two figure this out.”

Ethan’s face was flushed and he was pouting. “There is nothing to figure out. He strung me along for over a year, a year! I had to watch him practically hump viginBarbie for just as long as that, he doesn’t get to tell me who I should be spending my time with and what I do during that time. More than that there is nothing between us anymore, he is just jealous that someone else is playing with his toy. He had his chance and he blew it, I am not going back to that.”

 Justin absorbed all that information but said nothing as he looked down at his sketch. Honestly, he had no idea what to say. He knew exactly what it felt like to date a Gregory, though comparably to Chris, Gregs was a doll.

“Justin, look at me, please,” Ethan said softly, almost pleadingly.  

Hesitantly he did. “But you love him?”

That seemed to take Ethan aback, he let out a deep breath and said, “Yeah, I do. But that doesn’t change the facts or my feelings for you.”

“I care about you too but I don’t want you to think that we’re going to have a real relationship, like boyfriends, that’s not going to happen, ever.”

Justin was surprised but pleased when Ethan smiled and nodded. “I know Justin. We’re just friends.”

Justin let the smirk spread across his face. “With the best kind of benefits.”

Ethan grinned in response.

~~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday October 27th 2000 The Boys dorm at 8:59 pm.

“Promise we’ll be back early,” said Ethan as he pulled on a tight black and royal purple sleeveless shirt.

Justin admired him from the small study table where his history book sat opened and ignored. “Don’t. Have fun. Get a blow job for the both of us from some hot twinkie,” Justin said with a flirty grin.

“Will do,” said Ethan. They heard Gregory scoff from the bathroom.

Gregory, whom was still getting used to dealing with what he couldn’t change had been bordering on hostile since his conversation with Ethan. Justin would have truly stepped aside had that been what Ethan wanted, because he would rather have them as friends than nothing at all. He was however toning down the displays of affection in front of Gregory, all to Ethan’s dismay.

“So, how do I look?”

“Great,” said Gregory from the bathroom door while Justin said, “I’d fuck you.”

“You guys are too sweet,” Ethan replied beaming.

“Ready?” asked Gregory. He had a glint in his eyes that bothered Justin, but he wasn’t about to express said feelings. After all he was completely fine with Ethan seen or fucking whoever he wanted, but Gregory on the other hand was a different story. What if he did succeed in bringing Ethan back into his web and with it Justin’s fun?

“Yeah,” said Ethan and then descended on Justin giving him a long and meaningful kiss. Justin kissed him back with gusto, Gregory be damned.

Gregory cleared his throat and when they didn’t pull away he snarled, “He’ll be here when we get back. Now, let’s go!”

“Later,” Justin said finally pulling away.

“Yeah, see ya.”

Two hours after the boys had left Justin made his way to room S13 for a smoke, hoping to see Brian but not counting on it. Since Justin had cornered him last Tuesday he’s been practically hiding out in his office, unless he was teaching classes or performing his duty for mischief patrol. Justin bit down on his lower lip and let out a heavy sigh when he found the room empty, he closed and locked the door before making his way to the window.

There had to be a way for Justin to get through to him, there just had to be. He’d seen the way Brian looked at him, he wanted him, of that he had no doubt. The question was; could Justin make him want him so badly that he would forget about everything else? He sure hoped so.

When he went back to his dormitory the phone was ringing, he quickly unlocked the door and picked up the phone just in time.

“Hello?”

“Finally! I’ve been calling you for a while. Where were you? Adventures at homo heaven?“

Justin chuckled and said, “I’m sorry.” He had completely forgotten about setting up the call with Daphne. “So, how’s everything?”

“Nothing different. Same old, same old. But,” he could practically see her grinning through the phone, “Chris has been asking about you.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah, and what does he want?”

“He just wanted to know how you were and why you hadn’t tried to contact him, he asked me for your number but I said that it wasn’t my place.”

“I bet you loved that,” said Justin knowing how much she had hated Chris, and the fact that they were together.

“I did,” she simpered.

“So?”

“Well you know Chris, he started getting all aggressive, saying that he was your boyfriend and deserved to have your number.”

Justin laughed humorlessly at that. “Boyfriend…ha, right.”

“So naturally I told him to ask your dad and then walked away.” They both laughed. Justin laughed so hard he fell to the floor.

“Oh-my-god-I-wish-I-could-have seen-his-face,” Justin said through a fit of giggles.

He missed Daphne so much and after sobering up he told her just that.

“I miss you too, Jus.”

She went silent for a while and Justin groaned, that could only mean one thing, there was something unpleasant she was preparing herself to say. “Do you know what you’re doing for the Christmas holidays? I thought that maybe you can stay-“

“And be a few blocks from my own home, where I wasn’t even invited, sorry Daph but I just can’t.”

She was quiet for a moment and then said, “So any other plans?”

Justin shrugged and remembering that she couldn’t see said, “Not yet, I guess I’ll just stay here.”

“Alone?”

She sounded so sad that he added, “No, some other people are staying here too, maybe I can make it a homo adventure.” Liar, Liar!

“Okay,” said Daphne but she didn’t sound convinced.

“Don’t worry about me Daph, I’ll be just fine.”

~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Boys’ dorm at 1:58 am

“Hey, Justin. Justin. Justin!”

The blue eyed blonde that had been moments before drooling on his history book jerked himself awake, shielding his eyes from the bright lights at the same time. Once his eyes adjusted to the light, he looked up at the culprit.

“What the fuck Gregs, that was so unnecessary,” he groaned getting sleepily out of the wooden chair.

Gregory shrugged, turned to look at the closed bathroom door then back at Justin. Even in his sleep-stupor Justin did not miss this. The water from the shower was running, which meant that Ethan was there (he almost wanted to join me), however, he knew what was coming and he waited for Gregory to say the words. The latter sighed and ran a nervous (not to mention a very clumsy hand because of all the alcohol they had both probably consumed) hand through his dark locks.

“I fucked him.”

“Huh?”

“I’m just letting you know, because I think you deserve to know.”

Justin swallowed. His mouth had gone suddenly dry and it took all he had not to lunge himself at Gregory. It wasn’t like he didn’t see this coming or that he was even surprised by this confession, he had seen that look on Gregory’s face before they had left. There hadn’t been a doubt in his mind that this would happen, it didn’t make him feel any better about it though.

“Shouldn’t you have given Ethan a chance to tell me? Not that it matters.”

“It doesn’t?” he said unconvinced.

“He is free to see and fuck whoever he wants.”

“But he is not fucking whoever…I’m fucking him.”

“So you fucked him? So what?”

“He still wants me.”

“Anyone will want anyone after they’ve had a few.”

“Funny Taylor. But I can still give him something that you won’t.”

Justin gritted his teeth and let a low growl escape his lips. “So are you telling me all this because you think I deserve to know or because your claiming your territory?”

“Both,” he said in a low deep voice.

“Are you planning on leaving VirginBarbie any time soon?” Justin asked snidely.

“What does that have-“

Justin shook his head incredulously. “Everything.”

The door to the bathroom creaked open and Ethan stepped into the room wearing nothing but white and red boxers, and drying his curls with a towel. Ethan was about to toss the towel aside when he froze upon realizing Justin and Gregory and the all too obvious hostility between them. One look at Ethan’s guilty face and Justin knew that Gregory had been telling the truth. Justin tried to bite back the feeling of betrayal, and was that jealousy?

“Goodnight guys. Thanks for the pleasure of your company tonight, Ethan,” said Gregory grinning as he entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him, but not before planting a kiss on Ethan’s cheek.

Justin remained silent; he didn’t even look at Ethan as he got ready for bed. He kicked off his shoes, pulled off his socks and the rest of his clothes until he was standing in nothing but his dark blue boxer briefs.

“Justin.”

He didn’t turn to him; he didn’t even acknowledge Ethan’s presence as he climbed into his bed and under the covers.

He heard Ethan sigh and then crawl into the adjacent bed. “It was a mistake.”

“It really doesn’t matter to me, Ethan,” he lied. But why does it bother me so much?

“Justin-“

The knob to the dormitory turned, but it was locked. Then moments later they heard the jingle of the keys and the door opened. Justin didn’t move, he wasn’t in the mind set to play games, especially not with his illusive English lit. professor.

“If I go in the bathroom am I going to find anyone either than Gregory?” drawled Mr. Kinney.

“Nah, you’ll definitely find Gregory in there.” said Ethan whose bed was closest to the door.

“See you tomorrow morning, Mr. Kinney,” said Justin not bothering to turn to look at him, instead he cuddled his blankets closer to him and tried not to think about how he couldn’t keep one nor seduce the other.

“Right. Goodnight boys,” said Brian.

“Justin,” Ethan started again once the door had closed behind Brian.

“Goodnight, Ethan.”

~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday October 28th 2000 at 3:48 pm

The bleachers were overrun by blue and white dressed students cheering and shouting for their home team, and Justin had currently found himself as part of this group.

“Red card him, you asshole! He did it on purpose!” yelled Emily, whom was standing on Justin’s right.

“Don’t mind her,” said Ethan in Justin’s ears, as he sat on his left.

“Just don’t let him score the penalty! Come on Chris! Don’t let him-Yes!”

The crowd went into an uproar of cheers. The rival team had missed the penalty goal, the game was over, and they had won. Justin couldn’t care less.

“You want to head up to our room now?” Ethan asked a little insecurely.

Justin shrugged, he didn’t want to be alone with Ethan but he also didn’t want to give Emily another chance to flirt with him. So naturally he followed Ethan out of the stadium and to the dorms. The journey there was made in silence, however, Justin was under the impression that there were a few times when Ethan opened his mouth to speak but then closed it. Yet he wasn’t about to encourage him.

After locking the door Ethan turned to Justin with a determined look upon his face. Justin waited for him to speak.

“I’m confused.”

That Justin didn’t expect. “About?”

“Why you’re acting like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like I don’t exist,” Ethan snapped back.

“I am not acting like you don’t exist, I’ve been talking to you, I went to the game with you didn’t I, and also followed you here.”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Talk to me Justin, don’t push me away. If you hate me for what happened with Gregs, then say it. Don’t do this half cold thing.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Fine. I’m sorry I fucked Gregory okay. It’s not like I wouldn’t have told you. It just happened, it’s not like I planned it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Justin let out a long, exasperated breath. “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know Justin. I just want you to be honest, instead of pretending that it doesn’t faze you. Because guess what you’re doing a terrible job at that.”

“I don’t care who you fuck.”

“Not even if it’s Gregory?”

Justin closed his eyes and sighed. Okay fine. You got me there.

But he didn’t say that, instead he said, “No, not even him.”

“Then why have you been so distant?”

“You’re imagining things.”

“Godamnit Justin. It’s not going to happen again.”

“I already told you, I don’t care,” Justin said perhaps a little too aggressively because Ethan stepped a few paces back.

“No matter how many times you say that; I’m not buying it.” said Ethan standing his ground this time.

“Why, because you feel guilty?”

“Why should I? You said it yourself we’re just friends with ‘the best kinds of benefits’.”

Justin couldn’t say anything to that. Ethan was completely right, that was all they were and all that Justin wanted them to be so why was he so upset about the whole damn thing. It was selfish, not to mention completely irrational for him to feel jealous, let alone betrayed. But alas that is exactly how he felt.

“You said it was over,” he finally admitted.

Ethan put his face into his palms and sighed into them. He ran a hand through his black curls and looked miserably up at Justin. “We are.”

“Are you though? Because he doesn’t seem to think so.”

 “I told him it was a mistake and that it wasn’t going to happen again. Look we were drunk and dancing, and before I knew it, it was like old times and he was dragging me to the back room. It would be a lie if I said I didn’t want him then or that I even tried to stop him, because I didn’t. But it also helped me realize that that will never be enough for me.”

“So you fucked him, because I haven’t fucked you?”

“I didn’t say that,” Ethan said, cheeks turning red.

“Is that what you want Ethan? You want my cock inside of you?”

“Justin,” he gasped.

“It’s not a hard a question, pun totally intended.”

“Do you even want to?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” retorted Justin perplexed.

“Well you haven’t.”

Justin shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

Justin sighed and decided to be honest. “Inexperience.”

“Really? You’ve never fucked or have gotten fucked?” asked Ethan in a voice barely above a whisper.

Justin shook his head, feeling more self-conscious than ever about his lack of experience with gay sex.

“But you are so good-no amazing at everything we’ve done so far, why not just go that extra mile?”

Justin shrugged again and shifted uncomfortably on his feet. Here he was giving Ethan the cold shoulder because he had fucked-or had let Gregory fuck him when he himself was unwilling to explore intercourse (straight sex doesn’t count) for the first with anyone but Brian Kinney.

The minutes of silence ticked on until Ethan finally broke it. “So where does this leave us?”

“Nothing has to change.”

Ethan sighed and shook his head. “Hasn’t it already?”

“You’re right, it bothered me more than I thought it would, but don’t read too much into it, okay.”

“Thanks for the honesty.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he scuffed.

Ethan moved closer to him and caressed the side of Justin’s face. “Gregory can try all he wants but I will never go back to him, not now, not ever.”

Justin accepted that but he wasn’t sure if even Ethan believed that to be true.