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The smile on Justin's face couldn't have been bigger as he made his way to the front door of Debbie's house while the snow crunched under his feet. He was so freaking excited to be home for Christmas. It truly felt like fucking forever since he'd last been here and he honestly couldn't imagine spending Christmas anywhere else. This was his home. This was where his family was. This was where he had longed to be for the past few months. And up until the last minute, he wasn't sure he'd make it, but here he was. Happy, excited, and nervous. More nervous than he actually expected. But it was the good kind of nervous.
Wasting no time, he excitedly rang the doorbell with his freezing hand, having forgotten his gloves. He seriously could not wait to be inside, feeling nice and warm. Debbie, however, definitely seemed to be taking her time, making Justin ring again a little more intensely this time.
And soon he could hear her from inside the house, muttering. "Jesus Christ, who's so fucking impatient? I'm just a slow old lady."
Justin chuckled softly. He missed Debbie so damn much. He missed them all. He missed Pittsburgh in general. New York was great, no doubt about that, but... he was just so lonely there. Sure, he was doing what he loved and he was good at it. Fucking great at it, actually. He never even dreamed that one day he'd be painting in the big city and getting recognition... one would say it was a dream come true. Yet he was not happy. Not happy at all. But he did not want to think about that right now. He wanted to keep his Christmas spirit and enjoy time with his family.
Soon the door swung open in front of him and Debbie's face immediately lit up with undeniable excitement. "Sunshine!" She cried out happily, her eyes instantly becoming teary.
"Nope, I don't see any old lady," he commented on her words. "Just a beautiful one." His lips stretched into a wide smile.
"Oh my God, honey, what are you doing here?"
"It's Christmas, of course I'm here. I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"I just didn't know you were coming. That bastard didn't tell me anything!"
Justin felt his heart squeeze. "Yeah, well, he doesn't exactly know I'm here." Justin's gaze slid to the floor and he nervously pulled his lips into his mouth. "We haven't talked in a while."
"Well, he hasn't told me about that either."
"It's... complicated," the blond said simply.
"It always is with you two," she complained and sighed loudly, obviously disappointed, but mostly sad. She just wanted her boys to be happy. "Oh come here baby, give me a hug," she reached her arms out to him and gripped him tightly. "I'm so glad you're here," she whispered in his ear and kissed his cheek.
"Me too," he smiled happily.
"Well come on in, it's freaking cold. I'll make you some tea to warm you up. We don't want you catching a cold or something."
"Yes, ma'am," he giggled.
She really didn't have to say that twice because Justin was literally shivering from how cold he was. So he immediately entered the house, which smelled of vanilla and cinnamon and was decorated in the most beautiful colors. Emmett definitely helped, he could tell. The Christmas tree was mesmerizing. Christmas at Deb's was always something he enjoyed immensely. It always made him feel so warm and happy. He took off his coat and boots, which were covered in snow, and looked apologetically at Deb, but she didn't give a damn, she was just happy to have her Sunshine home.
"Here you go," she placed the mug of tea on the table in front of him.
"Thank you," he immediately took a sip and held the mug in his hands as the heat felt so nice.
"So... how's New York treating you?" She grinned excitedly at him. "Tell me everything."
"So far so good," he replied vaguely.
"Good? Just good?" She raised an eyebrow questioningly. That didn't sound like the Sunshine she knew. "I would have expected more enthusiasm."
"I guess I'm still getting used to it. I've only been there seven months so far... it's gonna take a while to feel at home," he explained.
"Your home is here," she pointed out. "But I know what you mean. Beginnings are never easy."
"They certainly aren't," he breathed. "But I'm doing what I love, and that's the main thing."
"Absolutely," she smiled and stroked his hand. "And we're all so proud of you."
"Yeah, I'm not so sure about that," he said, feeling a little sad.
"He is too," she assured him immediately, knowing damn well what he was thinking. "He may not use words, sometimes not even his brain, but he is proud. I think he's the proudest of all of us. And he loves you. Don't ever forget that."
"I know that." Justin sighed. "He's just..."
"An asshole?"
"That, too." Justin laughed softly. "But I was going to say he's not very good at long-distance relationships. I know it's hard for him, and it's hard for me too, but his solution lately is to give me as much space as possible, which means we don't talk because he thinks it's easier that way... and I get it, he thinks that by putting distance between us, he's protecting his heart from pain, but he's actually doing the exact opposite. But he's Brian... he always thinks he's right."
"Yeah, he's a stubborn asshole, nothing new there." She smiled sadly at him. "Maybe you two can talk tonight?"
"So he's coming?" Justin really wasn't sure, Christmas wasn't exactly one of Brian's favorite things.
"He damn well better, otherwise I promised to rip him a new asshole. Not that he needs the one he's already got."
"Of course you did," Justin chuckled. "But I'm not sure he's going to listen to anything I say."
"He always listens, he just loves to pretend otherwise."
"Mm-hmm." Justin nodded, hoping things wouldn't be as bad as he imagined. He really didn't want to ruin Christmas Eve by having a fight with Brian. "But... maybe there's nothing to talk about. Maybe he's made up his mind and doesn't want to do this anymore," he allowed himself to say out loud what scared him deep down. "I honestly wouldn't even blame him."
"Honey, Brian would rather cut off his other ball and use it as an ornament on the Christmas tree than lose you. I think he's just having a hard time being without you and doesn't know how to cope."
"Yeah, I guess, but I wish he would just talk to me... instead he's pushing me away as usual... I was just really hoping we were past that..."
"I know," she sighed, stroking his cheek. "I think he just needs to be reminded that you're not going anywhere."
"I thought he knew that."
"You know how he is. He thinks he's not worthy of love... he thinks everyone will leave him eventually... so he leaves them first so it won't hurt so much. He's his own worst enemy. He may believe in love now, but that doesn't mean he's stopped fearing it."
Justin smiled sadly. "You know him so well."
"I've known him since he was 14, I've learned a thing or two about him. And sometimes he just needs to be kicked in the ass to see what's right in front of him."
The blond laughed as he silently agreed. "Yeah," he whispered. "Anyway, where's Carl? And Emmett? It's suspiciously quiet around here," he furrowed his brows.
"Carl's been called into work because apparently criminals don't take a break even at Christmas. Sometimes I wish I'd just married a plumber. But with my luck, he'd be somewhere fixing someone's toilet right now," she sighed heavily, making Justin chuckle. "And Emmett's with Teddy. But they should all be here in a few hours."
"Are the girls coming too?"
"Yes, thank God. Gus is excited to see his daddy."
"I bet Brian's excited too. He must miss him so much. I can't imagine."
"Yeah, Lindsay told me that he calls Gus almost every day, even reads him bedtime stories over the phone."
"He's a great dad." Justin smiled proudly, knowing how much Brian didn't believe in himself.
"Yeah," Debbie nodded. "Anyway, I'm really glad you're here because you can help me in the kitchen." She gave him a wink.
"Happy to, just put me to work." Justin replied excitedly.
Debbie obviously took it as a challenge because she really put him to work. But he didn't complain one bit, at least it kept him from thinking about Brian (not entirely, but better something than nothing), not to mention he was glad he was able to help Debbie with the preparations. And once everything was set he made himself comfortable on the couch with mulled wine and some Christmas cookies. Not too many though, as Debbie had warned him that there would be no leftovers. That woman was really scary sometimes.
And soon the gang began to arrive, all thrilled to see Justin. Emmett in particular was excited to hear about the hot men of New York. But Justin wouldn't know, he wasn't exactly paying attention to them. All he could think about was Brian, who was fashionably late as usual.
"Maybe he got stuck in traffic?" Michael, as usual, was making excuses for Brian.
"I think he's stuck somewhere else." Melanie commented wryly. "Sorry, honey," she looked apologetically at Justin.
"Well, I didn't expect him to stop tricking, so..." He shrugged, but he'd be lying if he said the idea of Brian with another man, especially tonight, made him ecstatic.
"What's tricking?" Gus asked curiously, his eyes wide.
Lindsay quickly covered Gus' ears as if that would somehow make him unhear it. Justin started to laugh, but only until he heard a car parking outside. He'd recognize the sound of Brian's Corvette anywhere. Christ, his heart immediately started pounding like crazy. Suddenly, he was kinda regretting not letting him know he was coming home for Christmas. He knew how much Brian hated being caught off guard. On the other hand, he would have known if he had picked up his damn phone instead of ignoring it for the past two months. Justin couldn't really be blamed. But still, he felt bad.
"Is that Daddy?" Gus's eyes lit up.
"I don't know, why don't you go find out?" Lindsay suggested with a smile.
Gus wasted no time and immediately ran for the door. Melanie barely caught up to him to put his jacket on. After that, it was only a matter of seconds before Gus was out the door and running to Brian's car. Justin watched out the window, not quite having the courage to show himself yet. It was a beautiful sight. Not just because of how happy they both looked to see each other, but because of how gorgeous Brian looked. Justin had only seen him four times in the last seven months, and the last time had been three months ago. Which was a long fucking time if you asked him. He honestly thought things would be easier when he moved to New York. And part of him understood why Brian kept his distance, but the other part of him just wanted to punch him in the face.
But first, he wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss the hell out of him. He wanted to taste those lips that he missed so much. But the question was, did Brian want the same thing? Was he even interested in continuing their unconventional relationship? Was there even a chance for them to be truly happy when they barely had time to see each other?
Justin was really praying for a Christmas miracle.