THE ICE KING

Epilogue/Conclusion

         The Ice King punched his way out of his palace, carrying his bottle, which had taken him centuries to create. With all his icy powers, he flew up and up and up, higher and higher through the sky. Then, in a way that only supernatural beings can, he searched through the planes of existence and saw the hazy, gooey membrane that was the barrier between our world and the evil goblin's ether world.

         Without a hint of warning or invitation of any kind, the Ice King PUNCHED his way through the barrier and forced himself the goblin's space. The goblin gave an appropriate and satisfying shriek of fear like a girl.

         "What the HELL are YOU doing here? You can't be in here!"

         "Quite obviously I can. I am here to take you prisoner, punish you for the evil you inflicted on the defenseless humans below, and make sure you can do no more harm to anybody again!"

         "You can't do any of that! You have no power here! Get lost! Get out of here , or...or..."

         The Ice King smirked and raised one snowy eyebrow. He waited.

         "Or I'll summon a sunspot, you stupid snowman!"

         "I think not." He raised the enormous bottle and put it down between them. "Recognize this!?"

         "No! Should I?"

         "You should! This was made from all the glass in your disgusting mirror that you inflicted on the Earth so long ago! What you designed for other's torment will become yours and your prison. Inside, you will discover a new meaning of punishment as you will be forced to watch everyone who came across your evil glass!"

         "That doesn't sound like much of a punishment! Watching all that delicious evil! Besides which, you'll never get me in there anyway." The goblin turned his back rudely on the Ice King to pull a Bundt cake out of the oven. He smelled it and cackled in evil glee and he thought about the poor victim who would come across this cake. It had a very large quantity of a fast acting laxative in it. Not as evil as most of his tricks, but fun was fun.

         "You will be watching their lives as they turned out AFTER they were removed from your glass's evil influence! You will watch the happiness of their lives that occurred after I acquired the glass! And I am not done with you! Do not DARE to turn your back on the Ice King, you impudent, disgusting creature!"

         Against his will, drawn around by the very force and regal authority of the monarch's voice, the goblin turned and faced his foe.

         "You can't mean...happily ever after endings!?" he whispered in horror, nearly vomiting in disgust.

         "Exactly!" the Ice King confirmed.

         "I won't go!" the goblin shrieked.

         "You will," the Ice King said serenely, as if it were an inexorable fact. Which it was.

         "I won't! I won't! You cannot make me! You have no authority over me! You cannot make me do anything unless you know my name! And I'd never tell you!" The goblin started to turn back to his cake again.

         The Ice King smirked. This was so sweet. "I know your name," he said.

         The goblin whirled around. "Impossible!" he snarled, his face twisted in hate at the Ice King's serene goodness.

         "Hardly. Rumplestiltskin sold you out two hundred years ago for a bag of gold and six kegs of heavy mead!"

         "No! He wouldn't!"

         "Are you kidding? That little dwarf never could give up a trade of any kind! All it took was finding his price. And it was low...so low!" he taunted, twisting the knife.

         "No!! No, it's impossible, it's..NO, I won't..."

         "ENOUGH OF THIS!!" shouted the Ice King, and his voice was like terrible thunder. "The prison is complete! I have the authority! I know your name! I command you! Into the bottle with you, now and forever! Get into the bottle....CRAIG!!!!"

         "NNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the goblin's scream was prolonged and shrill as he was forcibly sucked into the bottle, his body stretching, crunching and gooifying in the most disgusting ways as it was slowly forced and pulled down, down, down the long neck of the bottle. It moved slow as molasses and made horrifying sucking and slurping and wet blorping sounds as it went along. At last, with a last SHHHHTTLOCCKKK!!!...the goblin was forced all the way through and landed with bump in the bottom part of the bottle, completely whole and restored.

         The goblin screamed and ranted and raved to be let out but the Ice King only laughed. The neck of the bottle was too thin for him to get back up and of course he couldn't unless he was called by name.

         Still laughing his deep, sexy, baritone laugh, the Ice King flew back down to earth with his captive. As soon as they left the goblin's ether, his universe popped like a bubble, disappearing out of existence without his presence, forever.

         The Ice King flew back to his castle, fixed the hole in a thrice and set the bottle on the high ice shelf.

         "There you are and there you shall stay for all eternity! Scream and rant all you like for the glass is soundproof and you are too high for me to see and pay attention to you. I shall forget about you and never spare you another passing thought!"

         And that's what the Ice King did. As far as he was concerned the goblin was over and done for.

         But the goblin Craig's troubles were far from over. They were just beginning.

         All around him, images and scenes began to appear and playback, over him, all around him, even on the floor, one scene for every piece of glass that had been shattered and sent down to Earth so long ago, even the ones as small as a grain as sand. And because each piece had the same powers as the whole mirror each image was perfectly able to bore its way into the goblin's brain. Any image and scene he looked at was large as a large screen TV and in high def to boot.

         He saw men who had left their wives reunite and live happily with them. The depressed became happy and productive again. Dogs and cats after fighting, made up and were lifelong friends after that. Babies who had been colicky became apple cheeked and giggly and hardly ever cried after that. And it went on.

         "NO! NO! Who can stand such horrible goodness! Who!? Oh make it stop!" wailed Craig the goblin.

         And among many other scenes of joy throughout the ages of the mirror's existence I am happy to report the goblin saw:

         Justin was standing before a judge.

         ("Ahh, this ought to be good! Justin's going up for his kidnapping of Gus!" thought Craig the goblin)

         "Justin Taylor!" intoned the judge, "While I cannot understand how you made it up there, testimony of your partner, traveling companion, the Behr family by Skype, and the evidence presented to me in the form of a newspaper article and by the young charge himself indicate that you acted heroically, saving a young man from kidnap and rape and considered Gus' well-being above your own during the entire trip. I therefore grant you your request for you and your partner to have half custody of Gus 6 months out of the year. And in a groundbreaking and revolutionary move I hearby grant your other request and declare and grant you the status of fourth parent and legal father of Gus Taylor-Kinney! You may hug your son and if you wouldn't mind...would you take some photos with me for my campaign as mayor?"

         "I'd be happy to, Your Honor!" Justin answered, his face lighting up in his signature million watt smile. "Gus!? Give your Papa a hug, Sonny Boy?'

         Gus jumped into his arms. "Are you my Papa now? My real Papa?"

         "Yes Gus!" Justin hugged him close. "I really am. Really."

         The goblin screamed in rage but:

         The Diner.

         Debbie's shift. Working her ass off as usual.

         Brian, Justin, Gus, Jason and Hunter come in. The gang's all there. It's a party! It's the first time they got a chance to get together.

         "Holy Sh-oot, Sunshine! There's two of you! Two rays of Sunshine!"

         "Ahhh! You must be Debbie!" said Jason.

         "You bet, sweetie!" Debbie said loudly cracking her gum noisily and catching Gus with practiced ease and he launched himself at her. "Welcome to Liberty Diner! Where the loud and proud are safe and free. First Pink Plate Special's on the house and if there's anything else I can do for you, let me know."

         "Actually, there might be. Hunter and I need a place to stay for a few months while we get acclimatized and Justin said you sometimes take in strays. The Loft's been great but I think we're all feeling like it's awfully small lately."

         "Sure Honey, no problem! Justin'll give to my address. Just come on over when you're ready."

         "Thanks. In return, perhaps there's something I can do for you."

         "What do you mean, Honey? You need a job?"

         "Actually, yes I do. But I also had an idea. I liked your pitch when we came in but there's only one Diner. Only one small oasis for fags to congregate and be safe. Have you ever thought about giving up waitressing and managing instead?"

         "Oh, I tried not waitressing before. I was so bored I had to go back."

         "No, that's not what I mean. Imagine expanding. Another Liberty Diner 3 blocks down. And yet another. More havens, more oases for gays to get a safe cup of joe or a burger and salad. It might even expand Liberty Avenue itself. You'd be overseeing at least one restaurant as manager. You'd have plenty of work and if you got bored, you could shift as waitress. But I sincerely doubt it would ever come to that."

         Debbie was getting interested. She plopped herself down on a stool next to Jason and they put their heads together. "Keep talking," she said.

         Jason smiled.

And...

         A Bank.

         "I'm sorry sir, there doesn't seem to be any record of a Bank of Finlandia."

         "No, there wouldn't be, would there," sighed Jason, "May I see your keyboard for a moment? Thank you."

         Jason tapped furiously at the browser address bar for a good two minutes and then:

         "Ta da! The Bank of Finlandia website!"

         "My goodness sir! That was extraordinary! All right may I see your check? All right 20,000 florens...it seems you'll be depositing...." The teller reacted with visible shock and gulped, "$2,000,000.00 with us today! Does that sound right?"

         "That sounds very right!" said Jason with grim satisfaction.

         "Jason, I don't feel right about keeping all of this. I'd be honored if you shared this with us, 50/50. We don't need the money and with a cool million, Gus' college will easily be paid for with excess. Please share it with me."

         Jason asked the teller, "You heard him. Can you open a separate account in mine and my partner's name and deposit half into there?"

         "Yes sir, that sounds do-able."

         Jason waved his hand twice to say, "Go ahead."

And...

         Spring.

         On the roof. Justin planting the rose. For once Brian doesn't say it's ridiculously romantic, just spoons him from behind and turns him.

         "It's perfect," says Brian.

          They kiss lightly, a mere brush. Justin looks into Brian's eyes and smiles. He sees something he likes.

         And suddenly they're together, their lips mashed together. They're nipping and sucking and drinking and taking and giving and moaning and still it's not enough. It's never enough.

         Behind them the rose is growing offshoots and in no time there are five more roses.

         The demon was going insane with horror. The tortures continued. He spun around and saw:

         A few years later:

         Jason and Hunter Brian, and Justin, Gus, Debbie and Carl, Ted and Blake, indeed, the whole gang lay on wicker lounging chairs on the sands of a white beach. It was sunny and empty and they were sipping fruity drinks. They were all being fanned with palm leaves by oiled and muscled men or women depending on their orientation; so, mostly men, but a few women although Debbie made sure Carl got a man attendant.  In the background was a jungle and rising above it were pathways and suspended bridges connecting a huge bamboo, grass, thatch and palm treehouse that was multi layered, with many small and large structures, the elaborateness of which defied most men's imagination.

         "Another drink, Jason, my darling?" asked Hunter.

         Maybe after another bowl of cashews, " Jason said, waving the empty one, indicating that he needed it replaced. A huge muscleman bent down and replaced it.

         "Thanks so much for letting us stay here for a couple of months out of the year, Hunter. This island you have here is a wonderful paradise and holiday," said Brian.

         Well, it all thanks to the royalties that Debbie insists we keep taking. I swear the way those cheques keep rolling in it's almost criminal," answered Jason. "How many Diners are there now, Debbie?"

         "Fifty. All across the country! Al gay owned, operated and frequented, " she replied. They all knew this of course, but they all never tired of hearing it.

         "I'm sorry we can't have you all more," Jason said, "But we really enjoy the time to ourselves still and Hunter's still working on his agoraphobia."

         Everyone made understanding noises but Hunter just said, "Oh my God! I can't get enough sun!"

         This was a cue for a man that was almost as buff as him to kneel and begin a shoulder massage. Soon he was a malleable mass.

         "You know Jason, I was thinking..." Hunter said and trailed off. Sometimes his thinking was still slow and required his own time to process.

         Jason reached over and nudged/kicked Hunter in the leg with a practiced foot, the way someone might nudge a skipping record.

         "The treehouse is so magnificent and large now, even with everybody here, I still never feel cramped. I was going to talk to you about letting everyone stay for as long as they want."

         "S' OK with me..." Jason was trailing off now was his own tanned male bodybuilder was massaging his shoulders, causing him such pleasure that it was hard to form coherent thought. "How bout it guys?  Anybody wanna...stay...forever...?" he dropped off.

         Massive cheering and a wiggly mass of Gus in ecstatic joy woke them both up in a hurry though.

And...

         A time undetermined. A year later after the adventure, perhaps two.

         A judge's chambers. It was that same judge. Craig the demon ground his teeth in rage. Ohhhhhh!!! If he could just get out of here, he'd give that judge such a rash! Right where the sun don't shine that would last for days!

         Four men. Four men in suits. The little boy in a tux. A civil ceremony. Craig wanted to look away but his eyes were magnetized and stuck. Oh tortures! It must be part of the magic!

         "We are gathered here together to join these two men, Jason and Hunter in holy matrimony, and to celebrate Justin and Brian along with them in a re-commitment ceremony. If anyone has reason to object, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.

         Debbie, with her wild red hairdo turned around vigilantly, seeking out who to smack upside the head but all she found was a large bearish man and his large bearish wife weeping openly in each other's arms with their burly son looking disgusted with them. The rest of the gang was there in various poses of sappiness. Deb smiled contentedly.

         "Hunter and Jason, I understand you have written your own vows. Please say them now."

         "Hunter, when I first met you, I'll be honest. I was only really after your body. Love came after. I didn't know if you were the one. But love did come. Over the last few years, I've come to trust you and depend on you, to need you and to want you. Now you are the one for me and if you will be that one, I will be yours, for all eternity."

         Jason, when I first saw you, I wanted you out. But you wouldn't go. Then I kissed you and everything changed. Then you left and I couldn't breathe. I ran my hardest and still nearly lost you forever. I never want to have that happen again. You are the one. Never leave me again, for I need you to breathe. Plus I'm hot for your body too. (There were polite titters) Never leave me, and I will be yours, for all eternity."

         "I now pronounce you, married and husbands. Gentlemen you may kiss your groom."

         Hunter engulfed Jason in a deep dip and they kissed soundly.

         Justin and Brian, do you take each other as partners, husbands and a family with Gus for the 6 months you have him...again...for a long as you both shall live?"

         "I do. For all eternity," said Justin.

         "I do. For all eternity," said Bri.

         They clasped hands in a crossover shape they had practiced and repeated together: FOR ALL ETERNITY!

          The little goblin shrieked and howled. He kicked and screamed with rage and hate and insanity. He could feel his mind going.

         He banged on the clear walls of his prison yelling with hate: "You cannot leave me in here! Get me out Get me out! This is inhumane! Let me out!!"

         But true to his word, the Ice King did not hear him, did not look up. He carried on a lively conversation with the West Wind and neither of then knew anything of the goblin's noise.

         And as he banged on the glass, something even more horrible began to happen. The scenes began to all skip and change. One by one they all changed over and began to skip over and over and over.

         Jason: For all eternity!

         Hunter: For all eternity!

         Justin: For all eternity!

         Brian: For all eternity!

         Over and over and over. All around him. FOR ALL ETERNITY! FOR ALL ETERNITY! FOR ALL -

         Craig the goblin bowed to his knees, covered his ears and screamed and screamed and screamed but he never stopped hearing it.

         And as far as I know that's where he still is. And as far as I know, our boys lived together in prosperity and wedded bliss and sexual heat:

FOR ALL ETERNITY

THE         END