BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Chapter 9

Brian Remembers:

The West Wing, the Hungry Hermit, and the Horrible Hunters

Or

If You Can Read This, You Are A-literate

   Brian ran around the property 5 times, the equivalent of 20 miles. He had done it this morning. He did it now. He had done it morning and night, to drive him into exhaustion since...it happened. And then tonight...tonight he would finally satiate himself and drive the vision that was Justin Taylor out of his mind and his loins.

   As he ran, he couldn`t turn his mind off, as much as he wanted to. He found his mind going back to that day, 13 days ago. It was all his fault. All his fault. He remembered IT.....

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   For a couple of days after the Diner, everything was fine. They'd have breakfast together, Justin would explore, Brian would go work out, they'd have lunch either together or apart, and Justin might work out, and then go paint. Brian showed him the back estate (it was too big to be called a yard) and the woods that surrounded the back of the house on all three sides. He showed him the stables and introduced him to Arjax. If one needed to touch base, they'd phone each other.

   At seven o'clock there would be a knock on the door and the Beast would visit him. They'd do dinner, sit and kiss in front of the fire until Brian got too frustrated or watch something.  And Brian would bring him a small gift of some kind. A watch. A cowry bracelet. Or something practical for his painting. Well, that's what he would have gotten, if disaster had not struck.

   On the thirteenth day and counting down to B-day, as Brian had dubbed it, not the B-day, his B-day or the like, but simply B-day said as morosely as the actual day it was parodied after, Justin went exploring and forgot his cell phone.

   Justin was exploring the west wing of the house and he was puzzled at the way the halls were maze-like as usual but at the same time seemed to guide him inevitably back to the same room. The carpets on this side of the house were ripped and dirty, with huge holes torn out of them or sections missing completely. The wallpaper had huge slices ripped in them at regular intervals. And more and more, there were ugly gargoyle statues staring down at him from near the ceiling.

   Down this horrible, haunted hallway went Justin, growing more and more scared, totally disoriented and lost as the lights were all either smashed out or burnt out and the Wards could not show him the way. This also meant it was dark as a dungeon. Dead ends became more and more frequent, doorways less and less and at last there seemed only one way to go, through a final pair of black, double doors with simply huge, deep, claw slash marks out of both of them. One of them was hanging by one hinge.

   Into this fearsome lair went our fearless hero. Well, that's not quite true, he was scared out of his mind but he had no choice so in he went. Inside was a huge room and at the end was a pair of glass, French doors with more than a few of the panes smashed out. There was a huge mahogany desk at the end near these doors. The whole room was long and then widened out near the end. Justin looked at the floor plan carefully and smiled a little because it was obvious that from the ceiling, this room would be shaped like a coffin.

   Justin made his way to the end of the room. He gasped.

   The room was in shambles.  It smelled of musty decay and whatever furniture there was...no, had been...was reduced to splinters. There were large cut out people standing against the way, but they were also ripped to pieces, of just torn in half. Justin went over to a few.  There was a large cut out of a muscular man in speedos. His face was clawed out and he had been gutted until the cut out had broken into pieces. Justin put him back together as best he could and moved along. The next one was a female model, buxom, blonde, and beautiful as a Barbie doll. She too had been gutted. Bye-bye Barbie.

   Justin frowned as he tried to figure it out. Why have all this stuff here? Why women cut outs?

   Justin couldn't figure it out and continued toward the desk. The legs and top had been deeply scratched. Now that he was closer, Brian saw that there was something on it. One thing had escaped destruction. Under a domed, glass dust cover was a framed picture. Justin brushed off the grime and peered inside. Brown hair and brown eyes stared back at him.

   Justin carefully lifted off the dust cover and took a closer look. His eyes softened at the cuteness.  It was a little boy, a baby less than a year old. He had brown hair and brown eyes that matched Brian's exactly except for the gold flecks. Otherwise the boy was Brian's moniker.

   Justin picked up the picture gently, carefully as if it were the finest crystal. It very well might as well be. It was obviously taken care of and cherished. He took it over to the doors to look at it closer where the light was better. Looking out he saw the doors opened out onto a stone patio similar to the one in the central courtyard, only this one had stairs leading down to the left only and they were at the back of the house and very near the woods. He admired the boy for several minutes He must...he must be Brian's son. But how? Brian seemed to have no inclination to be straight whatsoever. He looked back at the bashed Barbie. Perhaps...one of them? Justin still couldn't picture it though.

   Carrying the picture in the crook of his arm and as carefully as if it were a real baby Justin turned back toward the desk. He was going to put it back when something else caught his eye. On the wall to the left and now facing him, where the room widened, was a huge portrait. It too had been slashed. Justin went closer.

   The picture had been completely ruined. But out of the top half stared a pair of wide and happy brown eyes with golden flecks. Justin felt an excitement rising in his chest. He lifted a few strand of the painting trying to get a view of the slashed man's face. A chiselled jaw came into view.

   Before Justin could see anymore, there was a fearsome crash at the end of the room. Both doors exploded off their hinges and one door was broken into several pieces. At the same time there was a terrible roaring that filled Justin's ears. Justin screamed and bent over shielding himself and the picture with his own back.

   Brian rushed into the room, running on all fours. He was dressed in nothing except black leather shorts and a full-length fur cape. He rose up slowly from all fours to his huge, full height and Justin could now see the cape was really an actual pelt, complete with the four legs that Brian had slipped his arms and legs into and a lion's head that Brian could (and was) wearing as a hood and mask. Justin screamed again in real fear because in the darkened room and with the even darker expression on his angry face, Brian really did look like a real Beast!

   "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!?" Brian yelled in a fearsome growling voice.

   "I...I got lost... I couldn't find..." Justin stuttered.

   "YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!!" Brian yelled.

   "I didn't know! And I got lost! All the halls are dark...and they all lead here!" Justin hated the whining tone that he couldn't shake but he was thrown completely on the defensive. "He straightened up. "Hey! How'd you know where to find me?"

   "THE WARDS TRACKED YOU AND INFORMED ME!! I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU AND CALLING YOU ON YOUR CELL!" Brian growled, but the volume never really went down. "WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER?"

   "I forgot it in my room this morning," Justin said, "Don't you think I would have used it? Now, will you calm down?"

   However, that's when Brian caught sight of the picture cradled in his arms. The brown and gold eyes blackened in dark feral rage. The part of the face that was exposed went red. He held out his hand wordlessly.

   Justin went to say something and then changed his mind. He handed it over. Brian grabbed it back jealously and crossed the room in two steps and placed in back on the desk and under the dust cover.

   "Brian...I'm sorry...I was just putting it back...and protecting it...it's obviously very prec..."

   "YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IT!" Brian yelled so loud, his ears rang.

   "I know. You're right, I'm sorry. He was so adorable I just wanted a quick look. I was putting it back. I was..."

   "I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE WEST WING!! I TOLD YOU NEVER TO COME HERE! I TOLD YOU IT WAS FORBIDDEN!!!" Brian continued to rant and scream.

   "Geez, Brian, I'm sorry, OK!? I didn't mean to...WAIT A MINUTE!! NO YOU DIDN'T!!!" he yelled back, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? AND STOP YELLING AT ME! I'M WARNING YOU, BRIAN..."

   "GET OUUUUT!!! JUST GET OUUUTT!!!" Brian yelled, and smashed the cut outs into further smithereens in his rage.

   Justin covered himself in the face of this destruction and then straightened up. He was shaking in fear and tears ran down his face but he didn't run away.

   "FINE!" he screamed back, "I'm getting out! But not by the way you thought!" And he strode quickly over to the outer doors and went out. He turned and slammed both doors with a satisfying crash. To his delight, as he did, every pane left in the decrepit doors smashed with a great noise. Then Justin saw that one pane of glass had survived. He narrowed his eyes at Brian who stared back hatefully. He strode over, balled a fist and with the side of it, knocked it out with a smaller but satisfying smash. The doors were now just a useless frame.

   "I warned you Brian! I warned you! Now you can GO TO HELL! Our agreement is at an end! I'm leaving! Right here! Right now!"

   "You can't leave! Where do you think you'll go, little boy! What about your stuff! What about your art!?" Brian crashed his way out of the now useless door but Justin was already on his way down the stairs.

   At the bottom, Justin closed his eyes for a few seconds. A beat up duffle bag appeared by his feet, a basket of food appeared in his waiting right hand and a dark blue travelling cloak with a hood appeared around his shoulders. A compass appeared in his left hand.

   "I'll use this till I get out of the woods!" Justin yelled, holding up the compass. "HA! Bet you didn't know I could do this, did'ja!?"

   "I knew! I was just hoping you didn't!" Brian said morosely.

   "RRRRRGGGHH!!!!" Justin growled in frustration, "Well, whatever then! You want me gone! I'm gone! I'll go to Beddy's until I can get a bus out of this godforsaken place!" He picked up his duffle bag that he knew contained a few changes of clothing and his toiletries and headed off.

   "Justin...."Brian growled at normal volume at last but somehow this was far worse than when he was yelling. It was a calm that was before a coming storm and Justin knew it. "I do not consider our bargain at an end! Re-consider carefully! Return now and I will forgive and forget! Do not make me hunt you down! My wrath will be terrible," he finished with a careful nonchalance that belied his festering rage.

   Bravely the blond boy tossed his head in defiance which only threw hair into his eyes. The sight made Brian was to giggle and twitched his dick. Awkwardly, Justin brushed it back out again.

   "Do your worst!" he threw back bravely. Then he strode off into the forest and disappeared.

   "Justin! Justin, come back! JUUUSSSTTINNNNNN!!!!" And then Brian roared, a real roar, a lion's roar that could be heard for a mile.

   Just inside the forest, Justin paused and let the roar wash over him and for one minute actually re-considered going back.

   "Then he shook his head. He HAD to learn that when he said something, he meant it. He strode forward and continued on.

   So when he heard Brian roar again, he never saw that it was with his face buried deep within his paws.

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   Brian finished his run just as he was finishing letting that awful scene run through his mind. He gave a mournful AAAARRRROOOOOOOOOO!!!!...and clasped his hands to the sides of his head in regret. Why did he have to be so stupid!? He'd always said, no apologies, no regrets but at this point he did regret that time, the way he acted, everything. If only he hadn't yelled, if only he hadn't driven him away, none of IT would have happened.

   Heaving and sweating profusely from the 20 mile run, Brian made his way inside. He was finally tired out. He went inside and showered and changed. He clipped his face hair, his nose hair his body hair and his eyebrows. He shaved. He filed down and sharpened his fangs. He gave himself a mani/pedi, making sure his nails were unsharp. That would never do.

   As he shaved and cut and clipped and filed and basically transformed from Beast to Man, he found himself going back over the rest of it. He was unsure of exactly went on from Justin's point of view but during their few dates before Brian couldn't stand being around the blond anymore, Justin had filled in enough of the blanks so that Brian could figure it out. Although when he was shaving, he took a break from remembering to concentrate. Some things that a man did had to be done without daydreaming. That would never do.

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A/N: I become alliterate. Bold move or temporary insanity?? You decide.

   And so it was, that Justin found himself walking through a deep dark forest on his way to the house...well...Diner of an old woman who could laugh like a wicked witch but was as kindly as his old Granny and the best darn fag hag a blond boy could hope for this side of the Allegheny mountains. Whichever side he was on anyway. Maybe he was in the mountains.

   Justin shook off these unpleasant thoughts and vowed to find out when he got out of here. He kept going.

   It was slow going through the underbrush so when Justin finally came upon a thin trail heading in...somewhat the right direction he was exceedingly glad. Justin jumped for joy and virtually pranced along the provided path. He started to make much better time as he hurried along, every so often checking his compass to make sure he was on the right heading.

   The trees were leafy and green and the pines were so tall, Justin could barely see the tops. All the foliage muted the sunlight pleasantly and Justin was able to see about an hour later that it was approximately noon.

   And so, as soon as the next stump came along, Little Blond Boy in Blue halted his hurried hike along the provided, promenaded path. He sat his bubble butt down and checked his basket of goodies. No, not THAT one, you perv! The one with the food in it! Honestly!

   The basket was a wicker wonder trove of treasures. The whole thing had been covered a red and white checked cloth that could be unfolded into a tablecloth sized picnic basket. There were 3 apples, 3 oranges, 6 sandwiches and 10 granola bars wrapped in twos. There was a plastic wrapped piece of apple pie and a wrapped up piece of pumpkin pie. There were 6 bottles of water. At the bottom were two boxes of matches and in between the sandwiches was a folded up piece of paper. Justin unfolded it.

Hi Sweetie!

I'm the one you know as Emmett. All four of us added something to the basket and wish you weren't going but we heard your thoughts loud and clear so we thought we'd better help. The tablecloth can be transformed into a tent or just a sleeping bag if you take it into your head to sleep under the stars! I'm afraid this is all the food we could whip up at a moment's notice and you'll see I've added some matches...just in case. However, if the Master catches you, I'll deny everything! I'll miss you sweetie, you were a ray of sunshine in that gloomy old house and I think you were good for him. I wish you'd come back. But if not wherever you end up in the world, lots of luck baby! Wish I could do more!

I remain,

Your Auntie Em.

   Justin brushed back a tear and folded the note back up. He was never going back. Never.

   "Hello there, young man!"

   Justin jumped and went instantly on guard. He hadn't heard anything in the stifling silent stillness within the deepness of that dark, dank, deciduous forest. It was like having cotton wool stuffed in your ears. And so, the sudden sound in the silence was startling.

   It was an old man wrapped in a blue travelling cloak like him. He had a long white beard and carried a small basket of herbs and mushrooms in one hand and a little tin cup in the other.

   "Who are you? What are you doing here!" shouted Justin, shielding his belongings and taking a defensive stance.

   "Who me? I'm just an old man," said the old man, "I'm just a lonely old man living out my pension in hermitage. I was out gathering herbs and mushrooms. I eat them or make them into potions and sell them on Sundays in the center square of the village. What are YOU doing out here?"

   "Oh, I see. Well I'm sorry if I was rude but you rather scared me," said Justin, "I haven't met anyone since I entered these wild woods. I thought this deep, dark, dank forest was deserted."

   "They are...except for me. That's the way I like it. So I ask again, why are you here?"

   "Oh, I'm just passing through. I'm on my way to Beddy's place in the village. She's like a foster Granny to me and I'm hoping to stay with her until I can blow town for good. I'm running from my lover, I suppose."

   "Oh, that old story! What she do? Henpeck you to death?"

   "Well no...actually it's a different situation. You see, I'm gay. My lover is...was,,,a man. And he was bigger than me."

   The old man looked a little surprised. "Well! That is a rather....newer story. So what happened? He hit you?"

   "No. He had screaming fits and yelled and raged at me. I told him I wasn't going to put up with that. We're alone in the country and I wasn't going to wait for it to turn physical. So...I guess I ran off. I've been following my compass but I still feel rather lost. So I stopped for lunch."

   "That's a good idea. I always think better on an full stomach."

   Justin nodded and took out a sandwich.

   "Mind if I join ya?"

   Not at all. Pull up a stump."

   So the hermit picked a nearby stump and sat down. He looked very hard at Justin's sandwich. Then he sighed and began to pick out a mushroom and nibble at it.

   "Oh! Is that all you have? Didn't you pack a lunch?"

   "Not today. I strayed a little farther into the forest to forage than I figured and now I must munch my mushrooms. And if I can find a stream, I can fill my cup with water."

   "Oh, you shouldn't do that! Even the cleanest streams can carry the most malignant microbes nowadays! And I feel bad if you have to munch your mushrooms if that's what makes you money for fresh food. Here...well, I don't have much considering I don't know how long I have to go but...why don't you share my lunch. I can spare...a sandwich...an apple....a granola pack...and you can share this bottle of water with me. How's that?"

   "Why, that's mighty kind of you, considering I'm a stranger! Thank you! It's much better than munching on moldy mushrooms!" cackled the alliterating agester.

   For a few minutes, two boys in blue, one old and one new munched together in silence.

   "Do you know if I'm headed in the right direction? Is this the way to the village?" asked Justin. He poured some water in old man's cup.

   The hungry hermit drank deeply before returning a reply. "Yes it is, but you will have to travel many miles. You will not reach there today. You must stay on this path and at every fork you see take the path that is a little wider. Do not stray from the path young man. Wild wolves wander the western woods and would love to eat the sweet young meat that is your flesh. As well, there are hunters hiding in the thickets who seek the wolves for their pelts. But the woods are thick and they might shoot you, thinking you are a wolf or a rabbit. So stay on the path."

   "My goodness! Well, don't worry, I will! I have no desire to be dead!"

   "Eventually the wild, western woods will open onto some farmer's fields. You will have to cross many fields before you reach the road you seek. You had better cross them at night for if the farmer catches you trespassing, he will put you to work unfairly, lock you in the barn at night and then you will never be free! He leaves me alone because I am old but you are fair of face and have a strong healthy back. He would put you to work and make his ugly daughter bring you lunch and eat with you in the hopes you will marry her!"

   "Good Lord!" replied a joyless Justin in real revulsion. "But I'm gay!"

   "That wouldn't make no never mind to him! Stupid oaf! He'd wear you down with work until you agreed! So mind what I tell you!"

   "Yes sir!" returned Justin fervently. Reluctantly he looked down into the basket. "Well...I guess it's time for dessert! Would you like apple or pumpkin?"

   "Oh, I absolutely adore apple!" said the old man.

   "Well that's perfect because I prefer pumpkin!" returned Justin.

   They giggled at their wordplay and then the man sobered. "Oh, I see! You only have two pieces! Well, that will never do!"

   From amongst the folds and inner pockets of his cloak, he brought forth a small, carved, wooden box with a hinged, flat lid.

   The old hermit took the piece of apple pie and put it in the box. He closed the lid. Then he lifted it open again and somehow there was room and there were two pieces of pie in the box.

   Justin gasped.

   The old man did the same thing with the piece of pumpkin pie. "There now! Now you have dessert for later! And if you like, you can have dessert and food for the rest of your life! For being so generous and kind to a poor old man, I'd like you to keep this duplicating box. Use it wisely and you'll never go hungry or thirsty again! You can even be rich! Be a fool with it and you could end up in trouble!"

   "What do you mean?"

   "Use the box only when you are in need. If you get in the habit of it, greed may overcome you and if it does, it will consume you. The box will duplicate anything you can put into it, even money! But take care that you only use it on your mortal metal money for if you put paper bills in, the law will catch up with you and you will be undone!"

   "But why?" asked Justin.

   The box duplicates everything exactly. EXACTLY! Savvy?" the hermit asked.

   So if a bill were put in....the serial numbers! The serial numbers would be the same!" gasped Justin.

   "Ohhh, such a smart young man! Smart and generous and kind! I knew I'd made the right decision giving it to you!" cackled the hermit.

   "But this is a wonderful treasure! Why not use it for yourself! You could be rich instead of picking mushrooms to survive!" Justin said.

   "Oh my boy! I did! I did! But the beauty of riches is in the eye of beholder. I used it enough to build up a goodly pension and I grew tired of fair weather friends who only stuck with me for what I could do for them. That's why I retreated to the woods and turned to a simple life. But I'm well off enough to live out my life and besides, I'm in the winter of my life. Soon I will rest. And I want the box to go to who I want to give it to, not be taken by just anybody who comes along to pick my bones!"

   "Oh my! Don't talk like that! I can't bear it!" Justin said in sadness.

   "Oh why not? It's true enough. I may be winter but you - you are in Spring, fresh faced and in your prime with your life ahead of you. And generous and moral to boot! That's why I want you to keep it!"

   And Justin could see he was in earnest, so he accepted. "Oh thank you! I'll treasure it and use it wisely for all my life! I promise!"

   "Good! Well, I should be off! I'll eat my pie on the road. Keep it safe! Keep it secret! And someday....find a nice young man like yourself to pass it on to. Savvy?"

   "Savvy! Thanks again!"

   "Your welcome, my boy! Your welcome! Goodbye!" The old hermit's voice faded as he tottered away down the path and then turned amongst the towering totems into the forest. Soon he was lost to sight among the trees.

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   And so, Justin packed everything up and then added his new treasure to the wicker basket. The magic treasure box melded itself perfectly amongst his other belongings and fit perfectly. Justin tucked the red and white cloth over all and continued on.

   Our hero, the Little Blond Boy in Blue, traipsed down the traversed trickle of a trail that wended and wound its way around the towering trees always further westward. The stifling silence was spooky.

   Little Blond Boy in Blue continued on in this way for about 15 minutes when suddenly the stifling silence was shockingly shattered. A lion's roar permeated through the entire forest, still very, very far away. But the effect was subsonic and it penetrated every pore of our protagonist, Little Blond Boy in Blue. A frosty fear filled every follicle of our favorite blond boy, especially when the subsonic sound sustained and furthermore formed a word: JUUUUUSSSSSTTIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!! The whole wood shook, the ground quaked and Justin felt the subsonic sound quake through his stomach and then through his entire being. Then there was silence once again. But Justin knew a deadly game of cat and mouse had just begun. He ran on until he reached the first fork.

   The first fork was formed when a trickle of a trail meandered deeper into a darker part of a forbidding formation of the forest. To the left was a slightly wider way wandering through a thicket of roses, forming a tunnelled flower bower. Little Blond Boy in Blue vetoed the trickle trail and voted the wider way as his volition.

   The flower bower opened out into a mossy meadow filled with fragrant flowers. Far away, at the opposite end of the meadow, Justin could see a dark entrance that led back into the forbidding forest.

   "JJUUUUUUSSSSSSTTIIIINNNNN!!!!!!! I CAN SMEELLLLLLL YOOOOUUUU JUSSSTIIIINNNNNNN!!!!!"

   Oh God! It was closer! How was that even possible!

   Justin fled the flowery forest and flew through the fragrant flowers and green grasses. He tiptoed through the tulips and hastened through the horsetails all the while seeking to hide under cover of the next stretch of the forbidding forest and gain the goal of winding up at the western woods.

   But alas, our brave Little Blond Boy in Blue never made it that far. About 3 quarters of the way across the meadow, he was brought up short by 3 brainless bears of men hunting in the woods. Their names were Bobs, Hobbs, and Cobbs. And poor Justin never even knew they were there, until all three of then rose up, tall and hairy and wide on all three sides of him. He was snared and surrounded within seconds and found himself eyeballing down the barrel of the bears' boomsticks.

   "Who're you!?" growled Bobs.

   "Where'd you come from?"  snarled Hobbs.

   "And where ya goin'?" howled Cobbs.

   "I don't see how any of that is any of your business!" elucidated our intrepid explorer, "You've got to get me pass! There's a terrible thing hunting me..."

   "Hunting! If anyone going to do any hunting, it'll be us!" said Bobs.

   You! Who are you guys anyway!?"

   "I'm Hobbs!"

   "I'm Cobbs!"

   "I'm Bobs!"

   Justin opened his mouth, paused then shut it again. After the hermit and the magic box, he'd believe anything at this point.

   "I'm charmed...to meet you, I'm sure! But I really must dash! He's coming quickly and if I don't clear out he's going to catch me!"

   "Who's coming to catch you?" asked Bobs.

   "We'll protect you!"  declared Hobbs.

   "Yeah!" reiterated Cobbs intelligently.

   "I'm afraid you can't! You should get away too," warned Justin, "You see, I'm being hunted down by the Beast!"

   And with those words, our blond and blue bravester made his fatal flaw. And although he wanted to quest west, this is where his journey ended because at this point everything went quickly south.

   You see, the Beast was famous far and wide, to and fro and most of it was nothing to boast about. And the bearish hunting brothers had heard ALLLL the rumours especially the ones that were nothing for the Beast to boast about!

   "I heard he's ugly!" said Bobs, picking a snail out of his overgrown beard.

   "I heard he's mean!" said Cobbs.

   "I heard...he's queer!" said Hobbs. All of them gasped as if he cooked and ate little babies.

   "JUUUUSSSSTTIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!!!! I AM CLOSE  JUSSSSTIIINNNN!!!" came the roar again and this time it was louder and closer than ever. The ground quaked as if a giant was shaking a frying pan filled with frying hash browns.

   "You see! He's coming! I've got to flee!" Justin deigned to dash but again all three rifles were pointed at his head and he had to halt.

   You see, as well as not being too bright, these horrible hunters were homophobes of the highest order. But our poor protagonist hadn't the poorest perception of that.....yet.

   "What are you doing?" he cried, "Let me pass!"

   "Not a chance!" sneered Hobbs, who seemed to be the brains of the operation, "See, I figger, if he's queer and he's chasing after you, that means you're queer too! I've heard the stories! I heard he invites a new man up there every week and once he's had his queer old way with him, he murders him and buries them in the basement. They say that, that old house is built on a foundation made from the bodies and bones of his butt buddies!"

   "That's disgusting!" yelled Justin, "Not to mention completely untrue!"

   "Never mind that! What's important, is what do we do with you, FAG!" Cobbs reached out and with one meaty fist grabbed him by the neck. Justin tried to pry his hand away but it was no use.

   "JJJUUUUUUSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!" The ground quaked like it had the ague.

   "Beast...."Justin gasped as he turned a little blue. Desperately he dropkicked the doofus square in the balls. Cobbs gasped and dropped Justin who gasped and ran for it. "BEEEEAAASSSSTTT!!!! HELP! HELP ME!!!! THREE HORRIBLE HUNTERS WANT TO HANG ME!!!! HELLLLP!!!!!"

   "JUSTIN! I'M COMING! HANG ON!! Brian's voice yelled out quite close and it had ceased to be that sub sonic quality.

   Justin ran out full tilt toward the tunnel leading back into the towering trees and was nearly there. The horrible halfwit homophobe hunters were hotfooting it after him in hot pursuit.

   Suddenly the flower bower exploded outward in a shower of flower petals and color. The bower was completely destroyed. Arjax and Brian fairly flew out of the forest and made the scene, tearing up chunks of green grass and making mud on the meadow.

   Brian was bloodcurdling, wearing his most horrifying hood, that is, the one with the zippered mouth and eye holes and nothing else. He wore his best black S/M suit. Black boots up to this knees leading into leather pants with no shirt, just a harness crossed over his chiselled abs and chest. His terrible tattoos were a terrifying, torturous tableau. He gripped the reins with gauntlets that grew up to his elbows and flared out fantastically. Down his back he wore a full-length crimson cloak. His hair of snakes was loose. They hissed and sissed and twisted and twirled and tangled around his head and face. It was terribly scary.

   All four men turned at this startling and stupefying yet fantastic sight. Despite his washed up, WASP-y, white bread way of living, Justin was pleasingly perplexed when the sight of badass, blacked out Brian gave him an instant woody that was so painful he bet it would have chucked wood. (If it could.)

   He was almost to the other side of the meadow. He could have made it.

   Then he saw Hobbs raise his rifle and bank on blowing his bounding Beast sitting atop his stunning steed to Kingdom Come.

   He didn't hesitate. He ran back, reached Hobbs just before Bobs could get his disgusting digits on him and banged his elbow into Hobbs' back, causing him to jog his elbow. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Little Boy Blue screamed.

   The readied rifled was slanted too high but went off. BOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!! The sounded echoed an re-echoed across the meadow.

   Arjax screamed and reared in a fantastic fashion and Brian was thrown off the saddle, into the air and onto the ground. He lay still on his back in the grass and flowers.

   "Fucking fag!" yelled Hobbs, "You made me miss! He raised his rifle by the barrel end and swung it like a club. Our poor blond boy protagonist felt his fighting spirit flee and fear flooded his full and total being.

   Yessir! (Or ma'am, as the case may be.) It's like they always say. It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.

TBC