JACK AND THE BEANSTALK

Chapter 8

Vengeance and Justice

   "JACK!!!" Justin screamed as he ran over to their fallen friend.

   Brian ran over as well and knelt on the other side of him. "Oh my God! He pushed you! He pushed you out of the way! He saved you!"

   "Correction! He just made me miss! Something I don't plan to do again!" Stockwell aimed again.

   "Maybe we can get him to the paramedics!" Justin sobbed, ignoring him completely.

   Sunshine, we're under miles of rock! Our cells won't work and unless there's a landline somewhere, there's no way to get a call out!"

   "There's a line like that in the comm. room!" said Moose. "That is...I can call upstairs and then place a call to..."

   "GO!!!" they both yelled. Moose started out.

   "HEY!!!" BLAM!! A shot in the air. "Bad guy here, remember! Nobody's going anywhere!!"

   SCREEEEEEEERRRAAANNNNGGGGGOINGGOINGGOIIINNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   Well, at least that's the closest written representation of the most unfuckingbelievable painful and gawdawful noise that rent the air. It was the harp. But even though they could hear the horribleness of it all, it failed to affect them in the same way it had in the white room. All except Stockwell, that is. This was for his ears only. He screamed and held his head and was momentarily incapacitated.

   "GO!" she screamed at Moose and he was off like a white rabbit being chased by a little girl.

   "GRRRRRRR!!!! I'll melt you into ingots for that!" Stockwell screamed.

   "I don't think so!" the harp said in a terrible voice, and let him have it again.

   Stockwell screamed and buckled to his knees in agony.

   Brian was using this time to check over Jack. "I can't find the entry point. And...and there's no blood! Justin, look! There's no blood! What can it mean!?"

   "It means....I'm....still...alive!" said Jack weakly, opening his eyes with effort.

   "JACK!! Oh thank God and all the Guardians! You're alive!!" Justin shrieked, and grabbed his torso in a hug.

   "Not if you choke me first!" Jack gurgled.

   "And not for much longer!" added Stockwell nastily, "How on earth did you survive anyway!?"

   "You didn't think I'd go into this fight without a Kevlar suit, did you!?" Jack revealed, ripping open his jacket to show the vest. "I guess the shot knocked me unconscious though.

   "And we're both wearing body armor too!' Brian and Justin chorused.

   "Well then! I guess a head shot'll have to do!!" Stockwell said nastily, "And then a certain gold turncoat can feel the fires of the incinerator! Arrrghhh! But first we'll see the first three go before her!"

   "Shouldn't you have a green face and be holding a broomstick if you're going to say something like that?" Justin asked innocently.

   "SHUT UP!! Oh that's it! You go first!" Stockwell aimed carefully. He cocked the gun with a loud click. The three men on the floor were frozen in fear.

   FEE! FI! FO!! FUM!!

   The words thundered through the cavern and reverberated off the walls. Everyone was frozen with fear and surprise. The remaining staff on the floor screamed and scattered like mice being chased by a psychotic housewife with a carving knife. A lot of them made for the elevators in an absolute panic.

   I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISHMAN!! (MMMM...QUITE A FEW ACTUALLY)

   BE HE ALIVE OR ALMOST DEAD!      

   I'LL MAKE HIS BONES GRIND MY BREAD!!!

   And out of the portal, appeared a foot. And then another. And then a body...a simply HUGE body, climbing down the beanstalk.

   Now, anybody left on the floor took to their heels and fled. The party was definitely over. Even Moose, who was coming back from the Comm. Room, took one look at the thing coming out of the portal and took to his heels.

   "I called the paramedics! I'll send back an elevator for you but I'm outta here! This is way beyond my pay grade! Besides which, I QUIT!!" And he took to his heels and ran to the elevators and outta there as fast as a gingerbread man being chased by a hungry baker.

   The body was still coming.

     Nobody except Brian, Justin, Jack, the harp and Stockwell were left. All three humans were transfixed with a fascinated horror. The harp's face was shining with a triumphant glee and fierce joy.

   "Master!! Master, at last you have come for me!!" She turned to all of them. "NOW!!" she said in that terrible voice, "Now, you shall face a terrible judgement!! Now you will get exactly what you deserve!"

   At last, the giant reached the bottom of the beanstalk. His head came into view. He turned and stomped his way across the floor toward them. Equipment went flying and computer consoles were crushed and anything, everything in his way was destroyed as he stomped over to them. Their vision was filled with a man's face. Stockwell's gun was forgotten.

   The giant was at least 60 feet tall and reached the top of the complex, even having to duck in places. He wore black, leather boots, old world pants, a tunic, and a wide belt that had probably come from 50 unfortunate cows. He looked about forty years old, had a full, black beard and long hair that reached his shoulders.

   FEE! FI!! FO! FUM!

   I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGL -..."

   "Yes! Yes! Oh don't start all that again! We heard you the first time!" groused the harp.

   "Yes!! Well then, down to business! WHO!! Who is the Englishman who stole my harp and my son!" the giant growled in an equally loud voice, "Was it you!!?" he roared in Brian's face.

   "Hell no!" said Brian, "Besides, I'm not English! I'm American!"

   "Well, except on your mother and father's side!" reminded Justin.

   "True enough. They're Irish!" said Brian.

   "Was it YOU??" the giant roared in Justin's face.

   "Nordic-Swede descent....sorry!" Justin sassed.

   "Grrrrrrrrr......YOU!!" he turned on Jack in rage and cluelessness, "You're holding Goldie! Caught you red-handed! You're the guilty one!!"

   "I'm...I'm not sure where I came from," quavered Jack.

   "YOU DOLT! HE'S THE ONE WHO RESCUED ME!! And Corin!!! IF you're quite finished interrogating the innocent people," yelled the harp, "Maybe you can grab the real crook! HE's the one who stole me! It was Stockw - Hey! Where is he?"

   While the giant had been preoccupied with Brian, Justin, and Jack, Stockwell, that snake, had been silently and slowly backing away. Now he turned and bolted toward the elevators, one of which was open. Moose had sent it down as he had promised.

   "Oh no you don't!!" murmured Goldie. She plucked a single string and rang out one horrible, mind-mushifying note.

   "YAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" screamed Stockwell, holding his head and falling to his knees just before the elevator. "Damn you, YOU BITCH!!"

   The harp plucked another string just for the hell of it. Stockwell screamed again and before he could recover his equilibrium, the giant had reached over a giant hand and scooped him up.

   "HHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Stockwell screamed. Nobody did.

   The Giant brought him close to his face and sniffed deeply and then held him away, the way someone does if they had sniffed in a rag soaked in ammonia.

   "Oh yes! At last! You are the one that stole my son, my harp and extorted my gold. Not the English in you, but the guilt, the evil, the greed, the corruption that has seeped into your very soul, do I smell! And now, I'm going to make you pay! Your bones will make my bread, very tasty indeed!!

   NO!! NO!! HELLLPP!!!"screamed Stockwell. But the giant only laughed and stuck him in his breast pocket.

   "Oh, please!! Please! Don't do this awful thing!" cried Jack, "It's too awful a fate!!"

   "Ehh?? What's that? What's wrong little human? Why shouldn't I punish this evildoer as I see fit!" the giant leaned over and his wild and grizzly face was terrible to behold when it was all you could see.

   "Well, yes, I'm sure! Just couldn't you see fit to punish him differently?"

   "Yes!! Yes!! Listen to him! Listen to him!!" Stockwell screamed, popping his head out of the pocket and trying to crawl out.

   "Quiet YOU!!" the giant roared, poking him back in with one finger. "Now...Go on, young man."

   "Yeah Jack, what's wrong?" asked Brian. "The fucker just tried to kill you. Whatever he gets will be too good for him!"

   "Oh, but it's too terrible! You know the rhyme: Be he alive or be he dead...I'll grind his bones to make my bread! Please don't do that!"

   There was a small silence and then both the harp and the giant yelled: "WHAT!!!?? (The giant was much louder.)

   "That's disgusting!!" the giant roared, "Where did you get a horrible idea like that! We're not cannibals!"

   "Well, from the Grimm brothers...It's where your story came from...it...uhhh...." Jack trailed off feeling foolish.

   "Well, firstly, I am NOT a story!!" said the giant, "As for these brothers, they certainly sound like a grim pair indeed! And they got it all wrong. What I said was: I'll make his bones grind my bread! You see, I'm simply going to take him back to my castle, chain him to a treadmill, and make him walk it for the rest of his life. The treadmill will turn gears which will turn a wheel which will move two millstones together which will grind the wheat put into in into my flour. The flour will be made into my bread."

   "NO! NO! Get me outta here!!!"screamed Stockwell.

   "Quiet, you!"

   "Ohhhhh...I see! So he'll be making bread...not being it!" Jack said in relief. "Oh, OK!! That's all right then! Thanks for clearing that up! That OK with you two!?"

   "I was OK with it the other way around," Brian deadpanned. Justin smacked him.

   "You're kind-hearted boys!" the giant declared. "And for that, and for returning my boy and Goldie..." here Jack handed her over, "...I want you to have a reward! I was going to hand these over as payment but now they are mine to give to whom I choose! So I want you to have one each!" And he reached into a pocket, and gave them each a solid gold goose egg.

   "Oh my, thank you! Thank you so much!" Justin said.

   "Your welcome, my boy, your welcome!! And my goose will be glad as well! Now that we have this miscreant in custody, he can finally take a break. I'm going to tell him he can sleep for a week.

   "Hey! You get your hands off those! That's my gold! Mine! Mine, mine, mine!!!!!" screamed Stockwell, his head poking out again. He was still in the throes of his gold fever.

   "Quiet, you!" said the giant, poking him back in. "All right, farewell boys! Do well, with what, I've given you! And don't forget to close this portal after I'm gone! But give me at least an hour before you close it.  I'll give it a bit of a pull when I'm safely up."

   "Good- bye! Goodbye! Thanks for saving our lives!" they all yelled after him, "Bye Goldie!"

   And then the giant was lumbering toward the beanstalk. He was going up. He was going through. Stockwell's hateful screams were switched off like a radio. They were gone.

   As they were waiting around for the giant to climb to safety, Jack said wistfully, "Ahh well, this should take care of my family for a while. I don't mean to be greedy but I can't help wishing this egg wasn't going to run out."

   "Ohh, I wouldn't worry about that, Jack," said Justin, giving Brian a wink, "We've discovered that, with some things...all you need is one!"

TBC