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Justin thought for a moment before running down the stairs and out onto the street chasing after Brian. Or who he thought was Brian. He couldn't be sure, but by the time he had gotten out of the building he had lost sight this mysterious man. He had no idea if it was Brian or if he was just imagining things again.

So he went back upstairs and turned his phone back on after vowing not to call Brian while he painting and drunk again.

He saw he had a few missed calls. His mother. Daphne. Brian? And one voicemail. He almost dropped the phone when he saw that Brian had left a voicemail. It wasn't like him. That had to mean it wasn't a butt dial. Maybe none of them were butt dials, but he called and didn't leave a message.

He sat and listened to the message for almost an hour. Brian was there in New York. It was him outside the building. It had to have been. He went back outside to see if Brian had changed his mind and walked back to his building.

"Brian Kinney. Leave a message."

"Hello," Justin started softly, "I got your message. I saw you running away from my building. I thought Brian Kinney never ran away. And I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't be calling you every day.

It took five years, but you were willing to give me everything I wanted. You. Only you and a life together. In that fucking mansion, you bought. You know most guys get a ring when their boyfriend proposes. I got a country manor with stables and a pool.

It's extremely cliche, but I guess I almost appreciate everything you ever did for me more now. And I knew then that you were the only one willing to do all those things for me. You saved me. More than just at prom. After this, I promise I'll stop calling every day and bothering you.

Of course now I know that you listen to every message I leave. Which is kind of sweet and cute. Two things I know that you don't want to be. You should have called my name when you saw me. I want to see you even if it happens to be the very last time that I do. At least I'd get to see you face again. With that stupid smug grin plastered on it. Because no one will ever measure up to Brian Kinney.

I'm gonna try to leave you alone from now on. You don't want to talk to me and that message really proved it. I just miss you and it gets worse when I'm drinking. I know that I wasn't the only thing that made you happy, but I like to think I made you happier. This will be the very last message I leave you I promise. I'm just gonna say it one more time. I love you."



Brian listened to the message from inside his hotel room. Justin had seen him. He almost wanted to go back and try and talk to him but knew that they'd end up fucking instead of talking.

He would never actually admit it to anyone that he wanted Justin back. That he still wanted to marry him because he loved him so much. He was sure he'd never stop loving Justin. He was the only man Brian ever fully trusted or let see the more sensitive side of himself. The side of himself that was scared of cancer. That loved more than anything. Justin knew him better than he would ever let anyone else.

"Justin Taylor. You know what to do."

"Hello," Brian started, "You're right. I don't run away. Of course you know that. I just didn't know if I could see you right now. That's why I don't answer your calls.

Justin, I just want you to be happy by yourself. You made it out of Pittsburg and are now living in one of the greatest cities in the world. Enjoy it. You're not tied down in Pittsburg with some 38 year-old man. You are free to do whatever you want.

I know that with every day that passes it risks us never seeing each other again, but that's fine. We don't need all of that shit; living together, rings, constantly saying 'I love you' to know what's there. So this is officially 'it'. No more. We can't keep holding on to the past. We've both got to move forward with our lives and forget about each other. Our chance has come and gone and it's not going to come back.

And Justin?

I love you."

Brian hung up the phone and stared at the wall in front of him. He never thought he'd end up really finishing everything with Justin. He knew it was time. He had been holding on too. Hoping that someday Justin would come back to Pittsburg and fall into his arms. He'd be able to fuck him again, to feel him, to smell him, to hold him to love him again.

Loving someone wasn't what Brian had thought his life would come to, but Justin was the only person that put up with all of his shit and didn't take 'no' for an answer. He missed him, but it was over.

Several days had passed without a call from Justin. Normally Brian would wake up with at least one voicemail from him and he'd sit and listen to it most of the day. It helped him stay sober through the work day. He was beginning to feel a need to hear his voice again. So he started listening to the last message Justin left him over and over again. What had he done?

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