Chapter 18

Oh, the cleverness of me!

J.M. Barrie

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO!

“How long was I out?” Jane asked from the shower, her voice carrying easily since she hadn’t bothered to close the bathroom door.

“The better part of two days.” Brian replied, shifting onto his back and lighting up, the sheet plastering to his still sticky dick.

Who are you kidding? You know exactly what you just did.

Yeah, I fucked my therapist.

Nooo, you…mutually masturbated? Frotted? Humped?

Whatever…

“God! No wonder I’m starving. I could eat a fucking cow!” she was saying, oblivious to his internal argument.

Besides, there was no penetration. Penetration equals sex…right?

Sooo, no penetration, no sex.

Ohhkaaay…

Do you think she’s gonna get all clingy and needy now?

Says the guy that begged her to come back and make the monsters go away?

Bastard!

Fucker!

Just admit you did it so she could have some control of something after her mind betrayed her.

“…”

You know all about that don’t you?

“…”

Making someone else feel the way YOU want them to.

“…”

Using sex to feel in control. Take back the reins, so to speak.

“…”

Got nothing to say? Isn’t that why you just drove everyone fucking insane over your little “project”?

Cut me some slack, I haven’t had sex since I left the hospital, fuck, I haven’t even jerked off since then.

So?

Like I said, it’s about getting needs met. Not like I’m gonna marry her or anything.

So, are you gonna do it again?

Shut the fuck up?

You…are…so…pathetic.

“Brian? Didn’t you hear me?” Jane asked, wrapped in a towel and standing in the door of the bathroom.

“What?” Brian dropped the cigarette in the ashtray when he noticed he had held it for so long it had burned all the way to the filter.

“I asked if you wanted me to leave the shower on for you. Are you all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” he said, staring at the ceiling.

Jane sat on the far edge of the mattress, careful not to invade his personal space. “If I made you uncomfortable, Brian, just say so.”

“You didn’t.”

“Then what are you worried about, and don’t try to deny, since I can see it in your eyes.”

“I’m gonna take a shower.”

He rolled from the bed, made sure not to make eye contact with her and went to the bathroom where she had left the shower running for him.

Jane made the bed, noticing the bedding was different than before, pulling all the corners tight on the mattress and pillows, smoothing all the wrinkles away. She lit a cigarette and decided that if Brian really did want to be alone, he would have closed the bathroom door. And locked it.

Taking the ashtray with her she went in and sat on the closed toilet and crossed her legs while she smoked.

“Thank you.” she said, “for helping me.”

Brian didn’t know what he was supposed to say to that, so he didn’t say anything as he let the hot water pound into his back.

“That wasn’t the worst episode I’ve ever had, but it ranks in the top three.”

“…”

“It’s been about five years since I’ve had one I couldn’t get myself out of.”

“…”

“It was right after the shooting.”

“Jane.” He didn’t want her to talk about it anymore.

“I won’t ask you to do it again, Brian.” Jane switched topics, probing into their recent intimacy.

“It’s fine, Jane, I understand.” Which he did, perfectly.

“I know you do, Brian. I just want you to know that I understand why you did it, and it won’t become a problem.”

Assured that she that she knew it was a one-time deal, he said, “So, Milady, what do you want for breakfast?”

“It’s almost two in the afternoon.”

“So?”

Jane chuckled and Brian snickered. Comfortable Jane was back and Brian would feed her whatever she wanted, if only to keep the monsters at bay.

“Double cheeseburger, with bacon, fries and a strawberry shake.” she said, leaving the bathroom to get dressed.

“Well, sleeping beauty, how do you feel?” Emmett hurried to Jane when she sat at the table, leaning over her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her in a hug.

“I’m fine, Emmett, really.” she said, patting his arm.

“So, sweetie, are you hungry?” Emmett tied on the red apron and picked up a spatula, signaling his readiness to feed her.

“Starving, but you don’t have to cook for me, I’ll put something together myself.”

“Nonsense! I’m already here, so what’ll it be?”

“Bacon cheeseburger, fries, strawberry shake.” Brian said from the door as he rubbed a towel over his wet hair, jeans barely staying up on his too narrow hips.

“I wasn’t talking to you, slave driver, I was talking to Ms. Jane.”

“Actually, Emmett, that was my order.” Jane said, making Brian stick out his tongue at Emmett and Emmett to flip Brian the bird.

Emmett bent to get ingredients from the fridge and, not willing to waste the target, Brian snapped the towel on his ass, making him squeak like a girl. Emmett shot him a dirty look but Brian was absolutely unrepentant, rolling his lips in to hide the smile and not doing a very good job of it.

Jane laughed at their antics, sensing it was old-hat for them both. Brian retrieved two Dews and a beer, plunking the cans in front of Jane, cracking one open for her before he sat back down.

After getting the meat started Emmett brought out lettuce, tomato, and onion, grabbing a sharp knife from the block and cutting board as he passed the counter top. He set them on the end of the table and turned back to the stove to check the burgers.

Jane slid them towards her, glancing to make sure Emmett wasn’t looking and stood up, fingers opening and closing on the handle of the knife reflexively before she took in a long slow breath and let it out. Hefting the weight for a second, her fingers curled comfortably and she began to slice.

Brian watched in fascinated silence as she deftly held the tomato in her left hand, cutting neat, even, thin, slices with her right, and shingling them out across the edge of the board with one swipe, like a dealer at a poker table. She did the same with the onion, shingling it in the center of the board and picked up the head of lettuce, giving it a quarter-counter-turn and slamming it onto the table. Emmett jumped, saw what she was doing and went back to his skillet. Jane dug her fingers in around the now loosened core and yanked it out, tossing it free-throw style into the garbage bin. She cut the head in half, laid one side on its flat and cut it lengthwise again, picking up the quarter, setting it on the board and doing her dealer move, finishing her display of vegetables and sitting back in her seat.

Brian clapped his hand on the table in appreciation and swigged his beer. “Milady has many talents.” he teased scratching at the three days-worth of scruff on his jaw with his thumb.

Jane gave him a mock bow as Emmett brought their plates to the table and retrieved the fries from the microwave. He used the pulsar to whip up the shakes and sat at the end of the table between them. They had each just finished piling condiments on their buns when Emmett looked at Brian and said, “You’re looking especially healthy this morning.”

Brian shrugged, biting into his burger.

“You’re awfully cheery this morning too.”

Emmett looked at his companions. It wasn’t unusual for Brian to ignore a conversation, but that could not be said about Jane who was stuffing her mouth in what appeared to be an attempt to not be required to speak.

“In fact,” Emmett said, rubbing it in. “if I didn’t know any better I would say you spent the morning fu…” Emmett looked at Brian, Brian looked at Jane, and Jane looked at her plate shoving the last of her burger into her mouth, making her face look like a chipmunk.

Emmett took a closer look at Jane’s neck and what he had thought was a mottled patch from her episode, but upon closer inspection wasn’t the same brightness or raised texture and he glanced between them again, noting Brian’s whiskers, his brain rebelling at the possibilities. “Is that…beard burn…?”

Both of their chairs scraped back, Brian’s tipping over as they shared a look, grabbed the shakes and beat a hasty retreat for the back door.

“Of all the…” Emmett could only shake his head.

“Where are we going?”

“The barn.”

“Why?”

“I have to repay a favor.”

“Oh?”

“…”

“What kind of favor?”

“It was more a trade of services.”

“Well, if I had known you were that hard up…”

“Ha, ha, ha, Lady Jane. Not that kind of service.” he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her after him.

Brian opened the barn door, wrinkling his nose at the smell. They both looked at their shakes, decided against them and set them on a bale of hay as they entered.

Lulah’s voice came from somewhere at the other end. “I was wondering if you were going to wake up today.”

Jane opened her mouth to reply when Lulah spoke again. “I was going to give you ten more minutes before I came up there and dragged your skinny ass out here.”

“Now I know she’s talking to you.” Jane said, turning to Brian, giving him a gamine smile as his brow furrowed and he pinched a non-existent muffin-top at his side. Jane back handed his arm and rolled her eyes.

“Well hurry up boy, this won’t get done with you standing out there.”

Brian turned to Jane and mouthed “boy?”.

Jane gave him a “if the shoe fits” shrug, laughing outright when he frowned and walking off to find their hostess.

Brian looked at his pecs, flexing the muscle to make sure they were still “manly” and glanced up in time to see Jane have a freak, deer in the headlights moment then quickly recover as Marc stepped out of a stall near her. She made a small adjustment to her path, giving him a slightly wider berth and kept going until she found Lulah in with the goats at the other end of the barn and disappearing into the stall.

Marc’s confusion was clear on his face, and Brian realized Jane wasn’t quite as “comfortable” as he had thought she was after her episode. He tilted his head in the direction of the door and Marc took the cue and left, handing Brian his pitchfork and radio on the way out.

Brian was still trying to figure out how to wear the radio and still keep the weight from pulling his pants off, when Jane and Lulah herded the goats into the small paddock attached to the back wall of the barn, Jane peppering the older woman with questions about the horses and the possibility of riding.

“They can all be ridden, but if you want something other than a lazy trot, you’d do best by skipping the mares and saddling up the big stud over there.” Lulah was saying.

Brian cleared his throat pointedly, getting Jane’s attention and sticking a finger in his own chest and shaking his head.

Jane let out a burst of laughter. “NO! I don’t think she meant you, Asshole.”

Lulah caught the byplay and rubbed it in. “Something tells me you don’t take well to the saddle anyway.”

“You never know, it could be fun, maybe.” he said, shooting Lulah his sexiest grin.

“I’m sure.” Lulah deadpanned.

“Alright, you two.” Jane said, turning to Lulah, “What are we supposed to do today.”

“We’re mucking stalls, but given the stud is gimpy, you can show him how to groom the horses.” Lulah said.

“Hey, who are you calling gimpy?” Brian asked in mock offense.

Jane grabbed his elbow and steered him to the nearest mare’s stall, selecting a curry brush, a soft bristle brush, and a sheepskin mitt from the plastic bin hanging on the wall.

Jane greeted the sorrel when she stuck her head over the door, ears pricked in interest. She went through a quick tutorial on how to use the equipment making Brian repeat the instructions after her then showing her he could do it before she went back to the goat stall.

Jane found an old radio in the little medical area and after some surfing, found a station that played popular songs from the eighties and nineties leaving Brian to do his job.

The rest of the afternoon passed in companionable repartee and ribbing, though Brian often felt like he was being ganged up on by the two women. He took their jibes of stud and gimpy with good humor, occasionally stopping to go wherever they were to check on Jane without being obvious about it. Lulah praised Jane often, crowing to Brian every time she saw him about how hard working and non-complaining she was, in a clear effort to raise what she thought might be low self-esteem. Brian would nod and go back to the horses.

He was standing outside the stud’s stall in a stare down with the big animal, when Jane approached about two hours before nightfall. She was sweaty and rumpled from the work, but look refreshed and invigorated at the same time.

“What’s the problem, Stud?” she said, nudging her shoulder into Brian’s arm.

“It’s really big.”

“Draught breeds usually are, though he’s even bigger than most. Haven’t you ever seen one before?”

Brian was over six feet tall and the horse’s shoulder was above his head. “Not this close.”

“Alright, how about I take him for a ride, bring him back tired, then we can clean him up together?”

Brian’s face said she was absolutely, flaming, out of her mind, crazy. “You can’t ride that thing. It’s as big as a bus.” The doubt was clearly etched in his face.

Jane shot him a smile, mischief glinting in her eyes, as she jumped up hollering for Lulah. “Where’s the stud’s tack?”

Lulah finished putting away her gear. Nearing them she said, “I didn’t think you’d want to ride him today, honey. I’m sorry. The cinch broke on his saddle and I had to send it out for repairs. It’s a specialty job, otherwise I would have fixed it myself.”

“That’s alright, you got a rope?” Jane asked.

Lulah nodded, leading her to a door next to his stall and showing her into the tack room. Jane selected a length about five feet long and about the thickness of her thumb and tied a loop in each end, Lulah handing her the bridle and reins.

Lulah looked unsure. “You’re gonna bareback?”

“Mmmhmm.” Jane said coming back out and setting her equipment on the stack of hay bales Brian was leaning on.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” he said.

“Life is dangerous, Brian. No one gets out alive. Don’t worry so much. I’ve done it before.”

She turned back to Lulah. “What’s his name?”

“His name’s Dandy. You sure you want to do this?” she sounded skeptical.

Jane ignored them, calling the horse’s name until his head swiveled her way. She approached him slowly, letting him scent her, talking to him and telling him how pretty he was. When she was close enough he pushed his head into her chest and from Brian’s standpoint he had an alarming view of the horse’s lips near Jane’s knees and his ears over her head as she reached up on tiptoes to rub the crest of his neck. Brian swallowed hard.

She got the bridle on him and led him over to the hay bales and used them to climb onto Dandy’s broad back. She slipped a foot in each of the loops on her rope and tucking it under her knees, she made a few adjustments to her perch then gave him a nudge to walk.

Brian and Lulah followed them from the barn into the yard where Bear took notice of them and ran happy circles around woman and horse. Jane spent the next few minutes running through some paces, ensuring Dandy would follow her lead and set off at a trot around the buildings.

To give himself something to do with his hands, Brian smoked, trailing after Lulah to the front porch, sitting on the top step as she sat in the swing. Horse and rider angled to the “road” leading to the lodge and picked up into a canter. They hit the curve at the half mile and disappeared.

Emmett came out, announcing dinner and when no one said anything, put his hands on his hips. “What are ya’ll doin’?”

“Waiting for Jane, she took Dandy for a ride.” Lulah replied.

Brian lit another cigarette with the butt of his old one. Emmett sat next to him.

“Fuck off Honeycutt.”

“Hey…”

They heard them before they saw them, all eyes fixed to the road, thundering hooves and a high pitched female scream, as Dandy rounded the bend at a full out run, mane and tail streaming behind him and Jane stretched out nearly flat on his back, cheek pressed into his neck just above the shoulder, over shirt whipping in the wind, her feet in their rope tucked up behind her ass, having the time of her life.

They circled the buildings, and coming back to the front took the lane again, Dandy’s dinner plate sized hooves throwing up big clods of dirt behind them. As they moved farther away, the dense trees muffled then masked their passing until a few minutes later they came thundering and screaming back, to repeat the circuit all over again. By the fourth circuit everyone was watching, Marc muttering about babysitting careless females. Brian agreed with him, but didn’t say anything lest Lara or Lulah jump his case like they did Marc’s.

When Dandy came in for the eleventh pass, Lulah used the whistle on her keychain, and he immediately began tapering off his speed. Rounding the house, they slowed to a walk and Jane stopped him at the porch, sitting fully upright, legs dangling out of their loops down his blowing sides.

“Walk him out and clean him up, it’s well past dinnertime.” Lulah said over her shoulder as she led the way into the house.

Marc stepped off the porch, arms upraised to aid Jane’s decent, but she just jerked the reins and steered Dandy around him to the back of the property and the barn. Marc turned to Brian, “That’s the second time. What the fuck did I do, anyway?”

Brian thought about it for a minute, unsure if he should divulge something Jane might think was none of his business, but not wanting the people around him to be at odds, decided the give him the gist of it. “You’re a man. A big one. The rest of us guys here are all fairly lean and non-threatening, but you have muscles on your muscles and it can be intimidating. Especially after the other day.”

“But I didn’t do anything.”

Brian stepped on his cigarette butt. “Right now that doesn’t matter.” He headed off to the side leaving Marc feeling guilty for another man’s crimes.

Brian leaned into the support post on the back porch watching Jane do Dandy’s cool-down. She was fully engrossed in the task, giving him time to think about what he could do to rectify the situation. She seemed okay, but her hesitation around Marc, left him feeling that something still wasn’t resolved. Obviously it was a trust issue, but it stemmed from something else. He didn’t think it was fear of men in general, otherwise it would follow that she would be like that with all of them, himself included. It wasn’t a matter of self-esteem that he could tell, especially given their morning. It nagged at him until she led Dandy to the barn and Brian gave up thinking about it for the time being.

When he caught up to her she already had him in his stall and was rubbing him down with the big sheepskin mitten. Brian picked up one for himself and edged his way around to the horse’s other side and started working.

“You looked like a tiny little frog holding on for dear life.” he said, “When you came around on that first pass I thought my heart was going to explode until I saw you were happy about it.”

They couldn’t see each other with Dandy between them, but he heard her low laughter. “You and me both. There is nothing else like it.”

She was undoubtedly still high from her ride, so he said, “Describe it for me.”

“It’s exhilarating, fast, and terrifying, all at once. It feels like I imagine flying would. All that power, tearing away at the ground under you. Transporting you to someplace else, someplace…free. Its liberating. You can’t think, you can’t really feel. All you can do is just hang on, stay in the moment, enjoy it, because you will never feel exactly like that ever again.”

“You said you grew up poor. Where did you learn to ride?” he was genuinely curious.

“One of my cases was a jockey. He took a bad spill. He had a hard time getting back in the saddle so to speak.”

“How did you help him?”

“By having him teach me to ride. We talked about things, spent a lot of time together like you and I do, but his passion was always horses and he wanted to be able to ride again. I helped him work through his feelings about his career if he quit, and his fear of being in another accident. Turned out he was more afraid of not being on a horse than with them.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Do you?”

Brian figured now was as good a time as any to tell her about Justin. “My partner, Justin, was a victim of a hate crime.”

Jane didn’t say anything so he kept talking.

“He was young. Eighteen. Wanted me to go to his prom with him and I turned him down. Why would someone that just turned thirty want to be at a kiddie party, right? Anyway, I showed up after it had started, a kind of surprise, you know, a big Brian Kinney entrance and dragged him to the dancefloor.”

“…”

“So, we started dancing, and the floor emptied pretty quick. Two guys and all that. It didn’t matter though, not to either of us. Dancing with him, in that moment, I was transported, freed, liberated.” It was the first time he had ever spoken out loud how he had felt that night.

“…”

“Sunshine. His smile is sunshine, and at the risk of sounding lesbianic, it lights my world. When we danced and he smiled at me, I knew I was in love with him and I would never be the same. I wanted to tell him, I should have told him. But, it wouldn’t have mattered.”

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t remember. It was just the one dance. After, he walked with me out to the garage. I was in the Jeep and he was going back in to his friend inside when one of his school mates pulled a bat, hit him in the head. Amnesia.”

“…”

“After he got out of the hospital, his mom wanted me to stay away. She blamed me. I blamed myself. It was horrifying being around him. Seeing how changed he was. How unsure he was. Lost. How much pain he was in. So I stayed away, pushed him away when he sought me out.

 It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, staying away.

She came to me, his mom, a couple weeks later. She wanted me to take him back and I was simultaneously angry and terrified. She said I was the one he trusted. Can you believe that? I was the reason he was hurt and he trusted me? The world’s a fucked up place sometimes Jane, and I couldn’t say no. I should have told her to get a professional, I should have told her to get a therapist, I should have told her anything, but I couldn’t put his needs before mine, I wanted so badly to see him again. I agreed. I agreed because I felt like I caused it so I should be the one to fix it. I didn’t trust anyone else to see to his best interests like I would. I was more scared of being away from him than I was of dealing with his problems. So I took him.”

“Did you? See to his best interests?”

“Tried to. Scared shitless the entire time and doing my best not to show it because he needed me to be strong for him.”

“He got better?”

“For the most part. He still has issues with crowds sometimes, nightmares and motor control in his hand. I think that bothers me more than him most of the time. The constant reminder.”

“That you couldn’t prevent it. Fix it. Tell him that you love him, because it might all be ripped away again and you might not survive it a second time.”

Brian heaved a sigh. She understood. “Mmmm.”

“You’re still together?”

Brian chuckled. “Yeah, he’s a persistent little twat.”

“Always gets his man, huh?”

“Mmmm.” Brian was done on his side of the horse, so he moved around and leaned against the wall of the stall behind Jane as she ran a brush through Dandy’s long mane.

“Tell me something you do together that makes you feel good.” Jane said.

“We fuck. Like rabbits on steroids. As much as we can, as many different ways as we can.”

Jane peeked over her shoulder at him, his sexy sarcastic grin infectious. “Besides that.”

“Oh,” Brian said pretending like he hadn’t understood her question, as she started braiding.

“Well, he cooks and I eat. We watch movies, though he has terrible taste. He thinks Armageddon is the best dramatic movie ever made and he hates westerns. Together though? That’s a tougher one. We both have busy careers so we don’t spend as much time together as you would think, and when we do we’re…”

“Fucking.” Jane cut him off, finishing his sentence for him and tossing him a sly smile.

“Well, Lady Jane, you’ve been married a long time, what do you and the little hubby do?” Brian snarked.

“Lately, we spend my free time…”

“Your free time?” Brian cut in.

“Yes, mine. He’s retired, so when I’m home we usually stick a pin in a map and take a vacation, but lately we’ve been taking that time to visit our kids in college and getting the rest ready to go. But we also take classes together, like martial arts, pottery, archery things like that.”

“I bet I know which ones you picked.”

Pulling a dirty face, she said “You’d be surprised.” She moved to Dandy’s tail, grabbed a handful and braided.

“You’re pretty good at that.”

“I have a houseful of girls, Brian. It was either learn or shave their heads. And don’t even get me started on lice.”

Brian shivered as if the very thought was abhorrent, making her laugh again.

“Justin’s mom…?”

“Jennifer.” he supplied.

“Does she have a good relationship with him?”

“The best. She’s come a long way for him, and for herself.”

“You admire her.”

“Yeah. She got out of a not so great situation with his dad when she could have just let it go. Let Justin go. But she didn’t. She’s a really nice woman.”

“So you and she get along too?”

“Yeah, we kinda have this thing. We had it before, but since she hooked up with Tucker, the “boy toy”, she has a new appreciation for my obsession with her son.”

“How so?”

Brian laughed, hard, big rumbles he couldn’t contain as he tried to tell her about it. “See, I’m twelve years older than Justin, and she had some trouble getting over that, but she did pretty fast. Anyway, like two and a half, three years ago she hooks up with Tucker who’s like half her age and Justin, well, he had a real big problem with that. See, Tucker’s only five years older than Justin.” Brian was laughing so hard he was holding his side. “You should have SEEN it! The big twat trying to tell his own mother to act her age and grow up. What a fucking little hypocrite. He was mortified! It was so fucking hilarious to watch.”

“Of course you didn’t say anything.” Jane was laughing too, picturing it in her head.

“Fuck no! I wasn’t even about to get in the middle of that! Fuck, who would be the hypocrite then? Hell no!”

By the time they made it in for dinner, the others had already eaten and left for other parts of the house. Jane pulled their plates from the fridge and stuck one in the microwave as Brian got drinks.

“So did you ever tell him?”

“What?”

“Justin. Did you ever tell him that you love him?”

“I told him.” Brian sipped his beer.

“You don’t sound happy about it.” Jane pulled the plastic from his plate and set it in front of him, retrieved silverware and put her plate in to heat.

“Did you hear about the bombing at Babylon?” he asked.

“Ah, a few years ago, right? Pittsburgh?”

“It’s my club.”

“Really?”

“Yep. We weren’t together then. I gave Michael the club for a fundraiser. I was on my way to the airport, heard it on the news. I was so fucking scared. Everyone I care about was there that night.”

Jane set her plate down taking the seat next to him as he told her about the horror of what he had seen inside. He told her about Michael and Ben and Debbie. He told her about all of them.

He didn’t want to keep it inside anymore.

The floodgates opened and he held nothing back because he finally came to terms with the fact that he was tired of it all. Tired of carrying the weight of secrets and other people’s problems and being the one they all came to, to fix it, only to have it shoved down his throat that it wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t good enough. Then being forced into roles they wanted him to play to fit their lives. Weary of feeling like he had a responsibility for others’ happiness even to the detriment of his own. Exhausted of constantly reinforcing ancient walls and defenses around himself. Wrung dry of anything left even remotely close to the man he wanted to be by a disease he had no control over. He told her how much he hated it. Wishing it were cancer, or something they could see so they could find it with a machine and suck it from his body and declare him cured. Angry that he couldn’t control it or its effects on those around him. Being trapped in his own brain during an episode, hearing himself say awful things all the while the screaming in his head yelling, “I don’t mean it, I don’t mean it, I don’t mean it.” like standing on a sidewalk, seeing an accident about to happen and being able to do nothing about it.

Drinking to oblivion, so the nightmares wouldn’t come and waking up gasping for air as the memories choked him. The fear, that somehow this new threat, would take someone he loved and use them to hurt him because it would. The agony…that it could be worse. Someone he cared about could die. And it would be his fault, again. He told her how hard it was to look around at his life and everything he had built, all of his accomplishments, and not feel any pride in it anymore.

The disease had robbed him of that too, the paranoia, that feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop, because he wasn’t worthy of any of it. Waiting for someone to tell him it was all a big joke and his meaningless existence was the punchline. He told her of the rage that often consumed him when he would think everything was going smoothly and he had finally made it out of the woods, only to have the universe slap him back broadside, with a bat, a disease, a bomb…love.

Justin had an idea. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that it was a good one. He had flown back to New York, arriving before dawn, and hadn’t slept a wink since the idea popped into his head. He hadn’t even called to tell Daphne about it. He wasn’t even sure it would work. All he knew was, however well-intentioned Everett and Cynthia were, he needed to be with Brian.

Brian was going through something big. Something important. Justin needed to be there so Brian would understand that he wasn’t going through it alone.

He had been through his share of therapy after the bashing and knew first-hand how intrusive and painful it could be. He also knew Brian would balk at it. Brian was not one to share his feelings verbally and deep-rooted feelings that felt like weaknesses were irrevocably off-limits for even his best friends most of the time. Justin knew Brian lived in his head and conventional therapy would probably make him even more pigheaded about divulging anything of importance, and with no one he was close to, there to support him, Justin knew in his gut Brian would end up the worse for it, no matter how committed he had seemed at the hospital. Justin knew in his gut that if he, himself, couldn’t finish the therapy, Brian never would.

First step: He called Brian, knowing he wouldn’t answer, and left a voicemail. “Hey, just wanted to let you know I got your email. I miss you too. Later.”

Step two: He texted Emmett. “Not super important, but I need to talk to you. Call me back.- J”

Step three: Make a friend in Security Forces’ electronics department.

Nick watched from his perch in the adjacent apartment building as Justin had roughly a dozen people in his studio moving things around and setting up what looked like new computer equipment. Big draft tables were brought in along with a light-board and several boxes from a company that specialized in computer animation software. He had been at it for over five hours and there seemed to be no end in sight.

Nick went to take a piss and grab another bottle of water then picked up the binoculars again just in time to see a large projection screen be delivered.

Cynthia was pissed and barely holding it in check, Sam and Bobby sitting in the chairs in front of Brian’s desk, doing their best to explain that, yes, their only lead was dead, yes, he had been under surveillance, yes, someone in the employ of the police department had fucked up, and yes, they were still doing everything they could to find the person behind the attack.

Everett had silently watched it all from the sofa and when her guests were reiterating their commitment, Cynthia shot him a look he immediately understood and he slipped away unnoticed.

It wasn’t even light out yet when Jane left Brian sleeping in their bed and made her way to the kitchen. She popped a Dew and swallowed her fistful of pills just before Emmett came in wearing a green pair of sleep pants with purple stripes. He started the coffee pot and remembering her not so cheery morning persona kept the conversation to a minimum until she was well into her third can.

“I’m surprised you’re up already. When I got up to feed the puppies for the third time last night I heard you two still out here talking.” Emmett said.

“Thanks for taking them. He really needed it.”

“If I was a smart man, I would have extracted a favor from you like Aunt Lulah did with Brian.” he joked.

Jane tilted her head to the side, pretending she was thinking about it. “How about I make breakfast this morning and you just sit there drinking coffee?”

Emmett perked up. “Well, ya don’t have to twist my arm, honey.” his enthusiasm evident.

Jane started bacon and sausage links on the stove and plugged in the electric griddle on the countertop next to it. Donning the red apron, she mixed up a batch of pancake batter in a big corning-ware bowl.

Emmett couldn’t help but ask, “He did good last night? All the talking I mean.”

She nodded, pouring batter onto the griddle. “In comparative terms, since I’ve been here, he’s done about six to eight weeks of traditional therapy. So yeah, he did really good.”

“That’s our Brian. Once he decides to do something it’s all or nothing.”

Bear scratched at the door and Emmett let him in, stopping to top off his coffee as he passed the pot, leaning on the counter facing her. “You know I haven’t seen him drink anything stronger than beer in a while. That’s pretty unusual for him.”

Jane flipped the pancakes and checked the meat. “That’s a good thing. With the meds he’s on, it could get really ugly if he did, so don’t let him talk you into it.”

“Call me a coward, but I will be leaving that battle for you if you don’t mind.” Emmett reached into the top shelf of the cupboard for a platter and set it next to the griddle as she unloaded the first batch of pancakes.

It wasn’t long before the rest of the crew was awake and digging in, sans Brian. When Lara finished, she offered to take over for Jane at the counter, for the still eating men. Jane let her and stood eating a banana and drinking a large glass of milk over the sink.

“Don’t want pancakes?” she asked.

“Don’t like syrup.” Jane replied, spearing two sausage links straight from the pan with a fork and eating them as Lara pulled off the last of the pancakes and turned all of the equipment off, rinsing dishes for the dishwasher.

“You know what time the packages are supposed to arrive today, Emmy Lou?” Brian asked as he pulled up a chair and made a plate after setting the puppies in their basket on the floor near him.

“The tracking service said sometime between two and four. Though it may be later. We are not exactly easy to find here.”

“Come get me when they do if I’m not back yet.”

“You going somewhere?” Marc asked, his brow furrowed in a frown.

Brian answered, “Lulah said there’s a hot spring about two miles out. Since I don’t have access to a sauna or bathhouse, I thought a good soak would be just the thing.”

Lara was shaking her head, “Brian a two-mile hike there and two more back would be more exercise than you’ve had in almost three weeks. Your injured, I don’t think I’m comfortable with that.”

“Who said I was walking, Doc?” he said quizzically. “I thought, if Lady Jane was up for it, we could take the horses.” Brian kept eating like it was nothing out of the ordinary, then turning his head to look at Jane. “Thought we could head out after you show me how to make that noodle dish you were talking about at dinner the other night, the one with the sour cream.”

“You cook?” Lara blurted, the doubt evident.

“I’m gonna try.” he stuck his tongue out at her and crossed his eyes.

Emmett put the griddle away and replaced it with the crock pot on the counter.

“Lulah? Think you could have the grill going at dinner time? You know, just in case.” Marc interjected as he crossed to the back door, making everyone snicker at Brian’s expense.

Noah, Lulah, and Lara left to begin the daily chores, leaving Emmett drinking coffee as Jane extracted a four-pound beef shoulder roast from the fridge and a fist sized onion from the pantry. Brian rinsed his empty plate and stood next to her while she showed him how small to mince the onion and mixed two tablespoons each of salt, pepper, and garlic powder into a small bowl then rubbed it into the meat before setting in the cooker. Tossing the onions with the rest of the spices in the bowl, she stirred it until they were coated and sprinkled them on the top. She put the lid on, washed her hands and threw away the empty packaging.

“That doesn’t seem too hard.” Brian said.

“What’s with your sudden interest in cooking, anyway?” asked Emmett as Jane went about packing them a lunch for their trip.

“A conversation Justin had with his mom. She said everyone should be able to cook three dishes really well. I don’t think peanut butter and banana sandwiches qualify. Thought I might surprise Justin by cooking dinner for him one night.”

Brian left to change clothes, Emmett following, teasing him about the impending apocalypse.

“Hey, baby. How are you doing?” Emmett cooed into his cell phone an hour later.

Justin’s smile spread over his face. He hadn’t expected his friend to call him back so soon. “I just wanted to talk to you. Brian doesn’t answer his phone since he left the hospital, so I was hoping you could give me an update on how he’s doing.” Justin let that hang for a couple of seconds before spearing Emmett’s sympathy button with, “I’m just so worried about him, you know? I hardly sleep, I just can’t stop thinking about him.”

“Oh, honey. He’s doin’ well. Really well. Jane says his progress is on track and I trust her. She’s seems to be a good fit for him.” Emmett was talking fast, trying to assure Justin that there was no need to worry. “In fact, we all have been seeing a whole new side of him. He actually announced at breakfast that he and Jane were taking the horses to the hot spring. I didn’t even know he could ride. I mean, I knew he could ride, but I didn’t know he could ride.” Emmett laughed at his own joke.

“Another reason I called,” Justin broke in, “I was watching the weather channel and there is a pretty big storm coming in to the southeastern seaboard and I thought I would give you guys a heads up. Looks like most of the coast is gonna be under heavy rainfall for the next couple of days.”

“Stop being such a worry wart,” Emmett rolled his eyes, “We aren’t anywhere near there. It’s supposed to be sunny here. Sixties and seventies for at least another week.” Emmett assured him.

It was a good opening for Justin. “I know I shouldn’t worry and Brian would call me a drama princess for asking,” Justin pitched his voice to pleading, “but could you just step outside, maybe, and take a picture for me, so I can see for myself? I would really appreciate it.” he wheedled.

Emmett went onto the back porch and took a shot of the yard with his phone, the upper half of the frame showing a cloudless blue sky, and sent it to Justin. “See? Nothing to worry about.”

“Thanks Em, I feel a lot better now, gotta go.” Justin hung up, leaving Emmett staring at his phone.

Jane was prancing Dandy in elongated ellipses around Brian’s much slower, plodding, sorrel mare. He was absently taking pictures of the trees and other interesting vegetation as he told Jane the story about Chris Hobbes’ trial and his subsequent retribution by gluing the judge’s ass to a toilet. Jane’s sudden trill of laughter sent a small flock of birds into the air and he took a picture as they swirled up and another one as they settled back into the bush they had come from.

“What on earth even made you think of that?” she asked when she brought Dandy close to him again.

“I pulled a similar stunt in high school. I also built a bomb back then, but Mikey wouldn’t let me use it. He always was a killjoy.”

Jane started weaving her mount in and around the tree trunks at the side of the lane they were on, making the filtered light through the leaves play over them. “Were you always a trouble maker?”

Brian switched the camera to video, recording her as she and Dandy played in the trees, the horse tossing his head in enjoyment. “Not overtly. I wasn’t a bully or anything.”

“Ahhhaa” she said, glancing at him with narrowed eyes, “you were a sneaky bastard.”

It was Brian’s turn to laugh. “You could say that.”

Jane thought it was good, seeing him open and relaxed. Laughing and fooling around after the emotional turmoil of the night before. “Give me another example,” she said, “give me as many as you can remember.”

Brian thought about it as they dismounted near the spring and Jane tied off the horses. Stepping into the trees for a bit of privacy, he relieved himself and changed into a pair of shorts, telling her about Gardner Vance and how he landed the Brown Athletics account and secured a partnership for himself.

Jane was already changed and in the water when he emerged and she watched as an expression of bliss slid over his features when he was finally submerged in the hot spring up to his neck. He savored it for a few minutes, then picked up another story. He told her about his pursuit of Stockwell, and the flack heaped on him by family and friends for working for a homophobe.

She didn’t interrupt as he closed his eyes and leaned back into the side of the pool as he recounted the arguments he and Justin had had over it and Justin’s late night poster hanging, undermining the campaign. When he got to the part about Jason Kemp’s murder and the fiasco he and Justin set up at the GLC, she made noises of approval and he continued all the way through to his paying for the commercial that finally brought Stockwell down. His subsequent refusal to return to Vanguard and starting his own company.

Cynthia’s push for him to steal Remson for Kinnetik had her smiling in admiration.

He ran through the tale of his decision to move to New York and his destruction of Antonicci’s construction business, for trying to screw him over, and how he rubbed the man’s nose in it by buying his company, the building of Kinney Track and bringing Everett’s company, Security Forces, into the fold.

That led him to tell her how he had watched as Cynthia and Everett danced around the issue of their mutual attraction and how funny he thought it was now that the shoe was on her foot instead of his own and he could tease her about it unmercifully just as she had him over Justin.

“It was so obvious how bad they have it for each other, and usually she would just go for it, but she keeps hanging back.” he said.

“She’s afraid of the fall.” Jane said remembering Brian’s comment from the other night.

Brian nodded his agreement with a heavy sigh.

“You love her.”

A raised eyebrow this time, but the same nod, the same sigh.

“How long have you known her?”

Brian shrugged, “Longer than I have known anyone else that is still alive, not blood related to me.”

Jane thought that was kind of a weird way to put it and asked him about it.

“As far as I am concerned, I don’t have a family, other than my friends. Missy and Tom were like family to me, but they are both dead now. Missy died last year of congestive heart failure, and Tom died a long time ago.”

Jane could feel him closing up, not wanting to talk about them, so she pushed a little.

“Tell me.”

He was quiet for some time, leaning against the side, eyes closed. Jane made a few laps around the hot spring to give him some space as he ordered his thoughts. She settled in next to him when he started to speak, eyes still closed.

“I met them about six months before I saw Cynthia for the first time through a lower level window in an alley…”

Noah sat on a fallen log eating a bag of granola just out of their line of sight. He had followed them from about a quarter mile behind, keeping with Emmett’s edict not to be intrusive, and when he had caught up to them, picked a spot where he could keep an eye on them without being observed.

He wasn’t really listening to them, but when he heard Cynthia and Everett’s names mentioned together he paid more attention to the discussion. It was no secret his boss was interested in Brian’s partner, so he figured anything he could learn about the woman that might aid Everett’s pursuit would be well received by the man. He moved a little closer as Brian was telling Jane about how he and Cynthia met.

“It was late summer. Hotter than hell and our apartment didn’t have air conditioning. I couldn’t sleep. I had a broken arm then too. The cast was making my skin itchy and I couldn’t get comfortable so I dressed and went for a walk. Hell’s Kitchen in the middle of the night. Man, was I stupid.” he said, shaking his head at the thought.

“It wasn’t long before some toughs come out of one of the doors and light up cigarettes as I’m walking by. One of them says ‘Hey, looks like we got a pretty boy in the neighborhood.’

I ignored him, tried to move past as quickly as possible, but he steps in front of me and grabs my arm, jerks it up behind my back. The pain was unbelievable. I start twisting, trying to get away, as he’s telling his joker friends how he ‘likes ‘em feisty.’” Brian made his voice low and grumbly, imitating his attacker’s.

“Now, I may be only ten years old, but I’m not stupid and I know what’s coming. You don’t live in the ghetto most of your life and not know.”

“He raped you.” Noah heard Jane say.

“Right there on the sidewalk, his joker friends cheering him on the whole time.” Brian said. “Left me hanging over the railing like a side of beef with my pants around my ankles and the only thought in my head screaming, ‘run!run!run!’

I did run.

I didn’t make it far. Just around the side of the building, into the alley before I passed out. Don’t know how long I was out for, I just know it was light when I woke and there she was. Staring at me from the other side of that window. Looking up at me, in the alley, with big blue eyes. She was barely old enough to walk, filthy, emaciated, staring at me like I was the most precious thing she had ever seen. I tried to open the window until I saw the door open behind her and I moved off to the side. When I looked back in, it dawned on me where she was and who was keeping her like that.”

Jane said, “The toughs.”

“Mmmm.”

Noah felt his stomach flip over and bile rose in his throat.

Brian continued, “I left her there. I couldn’t get her out of that closet or out of my head for days and knew I had to do something about her, had to get her away from them. If they would do that to me, they would do it to her, and I couldn’t live with it. So I went back and struck a deal so I could keep an eye on her and figure a way to get her out from the inside.”

“You offered yourself…didn’t you…for access to her.” Jane said, knowing she was right.

Brian’s face twisted in on itself as Noah watched him struggle with the memory.

“How long before you got her out?” she asked.

Brian heaved out a big breath, letting the pain go with it. “Four months.”

Then his eyes glittered with the satisfaction of remembered revenge. “Tied the fucker’s hand to the radiator, stole their pile of cash, and burned the place to the fucking ground.”

Noah saw Jane move to face Brian in the water, “You did good.” she said, repeating it when he seemed to shy from the praise. Whether she said it because he had done something so valorous at so young an age, or because he had finally talked about it, Noah wasn’t sure.

And when he saw Jane pull Brian into a comforting hug, and his arms wrap around her haltingly, then tightly, it really didn’t matter.

Moving away from them, back into the trees, he couldn’t help but say it himself. “She’s right. You did do good.”

Justin unfurled a big map of the United States on one of the new draft boards he had had brought into the studio. He opened a sharpie marker and drew a long line from left to right, bisecting the country into upper and lower halves.

Consulting his notes from the weather channel he drew another line from the original, down to the Gulf and put a big X on the right, through a good portion of the southeast. Repeating the process on the west coast, he was left with eastern Texas, Louisiana, and Mississippi. He knew Brian had contacts all over the country and Everett’s were worldwide, but after thinking about it for a while, came to the conclusion that they had to be in Mississippi. If for no other reason than the fact Emmett had travelled with them.

Justin went to his computer, pulling up different sites about the state. Its largest city was Jackson, and when he clicked on it, enlarged the map the site offered and looked at the surrounding areas. Ten seconds in, he found Hazelhurst.

Definitely Mississippi.

The surrounding areas were rural, a good portion of the state covered by National Parks and natural landscapes. He spent several more hours digging through the net, trying to narrow his search area to a more manageable size.

Brian sat on the dry grass of the lane next to Jane eating the last of his sandwich while she crunched into another apple. He felt better having told her about his and Cynthia’s history. He wanted to move past the pain of his violation, telling her about it had eased it somewhat, but he didn’t want it hanging over his head for the rest of the afternoon. He wanted something light to dispel the darkness.

“Tell me a funny story.” he said, nudging his arm into hers.

“What kind of story?”

“I don’t know, you pick.”

She thought about it for a few seconds and her eyes twinkled merrily. “Well, you might not think it’s funny, but here it goes. My youngest son has a genius level IQ and does really well with literal and mechanical things. Things that have known quantities and absolutes. Anyway, he doesn’t do really well with things in the abstract like feelings or innuendo, jokes, things of that nature.

My husband is a fanatic about clean socks. ‘Either wear clean ones or none at all’, a leftover from combat you could say. Anyway, my husband is getting our eight-year-old up for school one morning and when he proves difficult getting out of bed, my husband decides he will dress his son himself. So he pulls off pajamas, including socks and gets him dressed all while our son is playing possum.

The rest of us are having breakfast when he comes storming down the steps, tears streaming, and his dad trailing after him not knowing what the fuck is going on. ‘Mom!’ he wails, ‘Dad took my socks, he can’t have my socks!’ so I look at my husband and say ‘did you take his socks? Husband shrugs, ‘Of course I took his socks, he had to get ready for school. He needed clean ones.’

By this time, all the other kids want to know what’s going on, so without thinking I say, ‘It’s a father and son bad sock morning.’ to which they start chuckling. Before too long, the older kids start ribbing them, making my poor sweet baby furious, then he gets this look on his face like he’s gonna explode and yells, ‘Mind your own socking business!’

Jane was laughing so hard she could barely talk and Brian was right there with her.

“We were floored, silence everywhere, until it sinks in that the literal little boy made a pun. A very good one, and understood what it meant. I was so proud of him! Of course the rest of them started in with their own, and he kept up with them, laughing his head off the whole time. I let him stay home from school that day, just because I couldn’t stop hugging him.”

Brian smiled at her. It was a funny story and if it had been him and Gus he couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t be proud too.

“You probably had to be there, but that’s the best you’re gonna get from me today.”

She dug into the saddle bag and extracted several large carrots, tossing them into Brian’s lap followed by a couple more apples. After picking up their lunch stuff and packing it away she said, “Bring those and come with me.”, as she stood up.

It was Brian’s sexy purr that halted her, making her turn around to look at him, “If you insist, Lady Jane.”

She was caught, dumbfounded, by the blatant sexual overtone of his words and the way they rolled through her, settling in her belly and other more private places.

Until she focused on his eyes. They were laughing at her. He gestured to the ground in front of his legs and she saw he had placed the apples side by side and selected the largest carrot, three inches around at the base and ten inches long, placing it between and sticking out from, the apples. An obvious fruit/vegetable cock, and they burst out laughing again.

When she could breathe, she tugged his arm until he stood and helped gather them up, “They are not for you, they are for the horses.” she said.

By three thirty they were heading back and Brian’s radio squawked. It was Emmett, telling him the packages had arrived and Jane saw his face light up like a kid at Christmas.

“What’s in the boxes?”

“A surprise.” he said, noncommittally.

“For who?”

“You’ll see.”

“Does it have anything to do with the fact there is a new lock on my door?”

“Maybe.”

“So you just shred it up like this,” Jane used two sets of tongs to pull the tender meat apart until it was all shredded in the crock pot. “Then you add a small can of beef stock and two family sized cans of Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup and stir.” She followed her own instructions explaining how important it was to use no-yolk egg noodles as she drained the boiling water from them into the sink. She swirled the noodles in the bottom of the big canning pot until they stopped steaming then dumped them into the meat mixture and stirred in a tub of sour cream.

Emmett had made a big salad of field greens and warmed up some fresh peas. Jane turned the knob on the crock pot to low and scooped out enough to fill a large mixing bowl, carrying it to the table where everyone sat for dinner.

Emmett was the first to try it and his hum of approval had Marc digging in. Jane watched as they all began eating with more gusto, praising her concoction and going back for seconds. She refilled the serving bowl, which was passed around with fervor, Brian and Marc helping themselves to thirds while she ate her salad.

Conversation was nearly non-existent as the food dwindled and Marc used the crusty heel from the bread loaf to gather the creamy remains of the noodle dish from the serving bowl. Lulah stared at him and he had the good grace to blush at his bad manners, but he didn’t stop either. Brian’s snicker had them all sitting back in their chairs in embarrassment, rubbing full bellies and needing naps.

Brian suggested they all go into the great room to watch Cheaper by the Dozen which he found out was actually named Yours, Mine and Ours when Lara handed him the case and gave him shit about how hard it had been to find looking for the wrong title.

When it got to the scene where Lucille Ball’s character became increasingly drunk, going from laughter to tears and back again, her fake eyelashes falling off, Brian tugged Emmett into the hallway and discussed in low tones what he wanted him to do when the movie was over. Emmett agreed heartily, and when they sat back down to finish the movie, Jane squeezed in between them on the couch with the bowl of popcorn. She could feel their excitement rising the closer they got to the end of the movie. By the time it was over Brian was practically squirming, but she didn’t have time to think about it when Emmett grabbed her hand and pulled her up the steps to their room.

Brian emptied several large shopping bags onto the bed, spilling makeup and hair color sprays then patting the mattress for Jane to sit. Emmett closed the door and joined them as Brian opened plastic cellophane wrappers with his teeth. He appeared almost desperate, so she and Emmett helped until everything was open.

“What are we doing?” she asked, a little bit timid in the face of their exuberance.

Emmett answered, “Well I wouldn’t call it a makeover, since you really don’t need one, but I guess we could call it a…transformation.”

“This is all for me?” Jane sounded unsure and Brian rushed to assure her. “It’s good, Jane, I promise.”

Jane contemplated him, the earnest look, the sincere words, and decided to trust whatever was going on.

The moment she capitulated Brian began with his instructions and Emmett did his best to follow them. He lined Jane’s eyes with a wide black pencil and applied a dark metallic green eyeshadow all the way to her brows and down under her eyes to just above the crest of her cheekbone, feathering it all the way out past her temples and into her hairline. He then used the gold, silver and bronze on upper and lower lids, again blending out around the eye making it look like a sort of mask, but feminine and beautiful. He gave her lashes two coats of mascara and her lips the deep glossy red lipstick. Adding a rouge, under the cheekbone, made the cheekbones themselves stand out in sharp relief and her lips seem fuller. Brian affixed the delicate swirling curves of the earcuff to the shell of her right ear where it spanned from the lobe to the arch at the top, in gleaming, twisting, silver strands.

He used the metallic bronze hairspray to spritz a faint line through the hair at her temples, back around her head and meet up in the same spot on the other side. Emmett got it to blend seamlessly with the shadows around her eyes continuing the illusion of a mask. Brian went to the bathroom, grabbed his blow dry lotion and hairdryer spending the next several minutes alternately spraying and drying the top of her very short hair into random tufts that stuck up in differing directions.

When the men both looked at each other and said “The silver.” at the same time, Jane was on pins and needles. She had never had this much attention paid to her hair, as short as it was and was dying to see what they had done.

It was Emmett’s turn to go into the bathroom and he came back with Brian’s really expensive Edwin Jagger, badger hair, shaving brush, which Brian snatched from him, ignoring its cost, sprayed it with the metallic silver spray and used it to quickly transfer the color to the tips of the spikes he had created. They fussed and they mussed, and they talked to each other in short little spats that she had no idea what they meant, like she wasn’t even there and she blew her lid.

“Enough!” she yelled, making them freeze in place, and eye here warily. “I’m not some real life doll! What the fuck is going on here?”

Brian gave her a good once over, glanced at Emmett who gave him an approving nod, and went to the door of Jane’s former room, holding out a hand for her to join him. Jane flounced from the bed and stalked to Brian, about to let him have it again, when he fished the key from the pocket of his jeans and handed it to her without a word.

She bit her tongue, but snatched up the key, used it on the deadbolt, and flung the door open. She made it three steps into the room when Brian saw the moment she laid eyes on the outfitted mannequin. She went dead still mid-stride, her foot slowly lowering to the floor as she turned to face it more fully. He and Emmett stood in the doorway, waiting for her to say something. Brian was starting to worry that he had really fucked up, when her shoulders slumped and she wrapped her arms at her waist. He could only see her from the back, and the indications she was giving had Emmett frowning next to him. Brian stepped into the room, coming up behind her and wrapping his arm around her waist over hers and leaning down, pressed his head next her cheek.

She turned her head to look him in the face, as tears streaked her cheeks, mouth quivering. Brian was worrying his lips with his teeth, a timorous, hesitation in his gaze, when she realized he thought she didn’t like his gift.

“You did this?...For me?”

He didn’t trust himself to speak, so he hugged her tighter, trying to tell her he had meant well, and nodded once.

The smile she let loose lit up the room when she declared, “You made me into a Superhero!”