Chapter 22

Just always be waiting for me.

J.M. Barrie

Tate had gone to bed right after dinner to catch a few hours of sleep before his shift started. Jane had taken her hour of downtime with her husband in the last empty bedroom on the first floor. Tate had insisted the room was adequate and refused the workroom, since they had already been using it for their project.

It was full dark outside by seven-thirty when Jane ambled into the kitchen in her pajamas. Brian was alone at the table looking through some preliminary sketches and writing notes on a legal pad of paper.

Jane turned the knob on the oven to the appropriate temperature and rummaged in the pantry until she found what she wanted. Brian watched from the corner of his vision as she set ingredients on the counter and moved to the refrigerator for eggs and butter. Her movements were warm and loose, hardly making any sound in her bare feet. She set an extremely large cast iron skillet on the burner and turned on the flame under it.

Brian silently crossed the distance between them and placed his hand on her right hip as he peered over her shoulder. "What are we making?"

"Mmmm" Jane softened into him. "Pineapple upside down cake."

Brian turned his head just enough to catch her scent, which now carried the distinct flavor of male pheromones. The combination was heady and intoxicating. It was obvious she had spent her down time involved in sexcapades and the results were striking, punching him straight in the gut. His erection was instantaneous and somewhat baffling since he had just finished fucking Justin three ways from Sunday not thirty minutes ago.

Brian leaned down to nuzzle her neck as she dropped two sticks of butter into the skillet and they started to deform immediately from the heat. Her new scent was even stronger in the warmth of her neck and he breathed it in greedily. "Tell me what you need." He said, rubbing his face in her skin.

It wasn't lost on Jane that he said those particular words to her. The way he said them was the same as before, but the meaning was different. It didn't however, change the way her body responded to them. She tilted her head to the side, giving Brian more access to her throat and he dragged his chin up the side until he was breathing in her ear. Jane let out a small sigh and smiled. "You could mix up those cake batters over there." She gestured to them with a jerk of her head, effectively pulling her neck away from Brian's face.

Laughter rumbled in his chest but never quite made it out of his mouth as he moved to stand beside her at the counter. He read the directions on the boxes and figured it was simple enough so he did as he was told.

Justin sat on the fourth step from the bottom of the stairs with his sketchpad on his lap watching them interact through the archway. He had intended to meet Brian and come up with some more panels but upon seeing them at the stove, took the opportunity to observe them while they were alone.

He already knew that Brian was a touchy-feely person with people he cared about and Jane seemed not to mind and even reciprocated in kind in the time since he had arrived. But this was entirely different. This was the two of them, in Brian/Jane land. Touches ran the full spectrum from simply helpful to playful to downright erotic.

When Jane added the brown sugar to the skillet, Brian took her wrist in his hand and licked the remains from her fingers before she had a chance to wipe them off. Their conversation was completely silent, consisting of soft touches, gliding hands and deep glances only the two of them understood. Everything was kept PG, but the intimacy level was palpable. It almost seemed to be another of Brian's Jane Games but the easy sexuality and playfulness between them was not a game. It was real and tangible and evidence of a deep-rooted trust.

Justin was just about to make his presence known, when Tate stepped from his room and caught him spying. He almost stood, to beat a hasty retreat to the bedroom, when Tate shook his head, indicating he should stay. Justin made room for him when he sat on the stair next to him. They both watched their partners in the kitchen.

Jane opened cans of pineapple slices while Brian stirred. When his batter was ready she held the cans while he dipped two fingers in and retrieved some slices, laying them in the butter/sugar goo in the skillet. Jane set the can aside when the skillet had all the slices that would fit on the bottom and picked up the jar of cherries, unscrewing the top. Brian moved behind her again, back to his original position and pressed his front to her back each time she set a cherry in the center of a pineapple ring. She gave him a dirty look, not really chastising him, but letting him know that two could play that game.

She turned off the flame and reached for the bowl of batter. It was large and had three cake mixes in it making it a little unwieldy. Brian reached to help with it and Jane intentionally turned her side to him, pressing her forearm into his groin and her face into his chest, licking his hard nipple as she did so.

Brian's abs clenched and he let out a gush of air in surprise. It had happened quickly and she had already moved away, adding some of the juice from the pineapple rings to the batter and stirring. He rubbed a finger over his lips and did his best to hide the smile. Jane was not fooled and carefully poured the batter into the skillet while Brian stood behind her again and scraped the sides of the bowl with a spatula. He held on to her hip, pressed into her back, and moved with her when she opened the oven and put the skillet inside, then stayed in tandem with her when she moved to the sink to wash the bowl and spatula.

He flipped to the side while she washed, threading his leg through hers and rubbing her ankle with his toe. She handed him the bowl and he dried it, then the spatula, and put them away. Jane got rid of the trash and set the timer, Brian wiped down the counter.

They met up again at the table, Brian with coffee and Jane with a Mountain Dew. The switch in gears was jarring and almost painful when they immediately started discussing Tempest like nothing else had passed between them.

Justin could have cried. His chest hurt from holding back the tears and Tate wrapped a consoling arm around his shoulders, saying, "It was a beautiful dance."

Then he was gone.

Justin let the words roll around in his head. A beautiful dance.

A beautiful...dance.

Tate was right. He hadn't been upset because of what Brian and Jane were doing, he was upset because it had ended before he had had a chance to capture it on paper.

Jane watched carefully as Justin helped Brian with the new physical therapy Lara had suggested for Brian's injured arm. They were both doing well. They were conversing easily and Brian was doing much better answering some of the more difficult questions Justin was hammering him with while they worked. He had only looked to her for guidance once, when Justin had flat out asked him about the sex they had had together. She had nodded, indicating that Brian should tell him the truth.

It was the first time Justin had wanted to talk about it and with Jane's approval, Brian relayed the event in detail, starting with her episode, the subsequent sex/non-sex, and ended with their discussion in the bathroom, all the while making sure to convey how he felt at each juncture of the scenario and why he did what he had done.

Jane was proud of him for being so forthright and honest about the whole thing. Her past wasn't something she usually shared with people she had just met, but the circumstances were anything but normal.

Justin was flummoxed. Given what he now knew of the situation, he wasn't so sure he wouldn't have done something similar had he been in Brian's shoes. Shit, he had done it just because Daphne had wanted her first time to be with someone that would be careful. It made him feel even more humiliated at the scene he had made over it. He apologized to both of them, but it was shrugged off in standard Brian/Jane style and he had to wonder at their similarities.

Both could be harsh, abrasive even. Both were private emotionally but overt socially. Both were comfortable in their own skins and both used physicality to communicate deeper thoughts and feelings. Both had an inherent understanding of each other and what made other people tick, though Jane had a much better understanding of herself than Brian had of himself.

Jane's influence on Brian, helping him to overcome what he perceived as shortcomings or weaknesses was evidenced by the more talkative and sharing Brian. When Jane asked Brian to describe one of his attacks he was reluctant but did it anyway so Justin could better understand his fear of them.

"My chest gets tight and it's hard to breathe. I get bile or thick mucus in the back of my throat and I can feel the chemicals my brain sends out to flee, but I can't. I freeze, sometimes, my skin is too tight and I get a raging headache, making my sinuses swell. My brain goes crazy, kaleidoscopic colors, and sometimes I smell things that aren't there. I get bombarded with clashing images and sensations that make a Pollock look tame. I feel helpless and stupid, making it worse. I feel even more ridiculous that it sometimes takes help to get through it. The fact that I haven't had one in a week is a testament to Jane's methods and modern medicine."

Jane's brows drew together in thought. It was the first time Brian had described it for her as well, and though it was typical for him, the color/sensation link was not a usual occurrence for most people. She came to the conclusion she would have to do some research on that particular symptom.

"Mine weren't anything like that." Justin said, as he bent and flexed Brian's wrist.

"I know. I think that was part of the reason I didn't associate it with anxiety or panic attacks at first. The only experience I had with them was yours after you got out of the hospital."

Brian stood in the doorway watching Justin and Jane sleep. He had fallen asleep with them, but had rolled over, suddenly awake at three in the morning. Knowing sleep wasn't in the cards for him he had extricated himself from the center of the bed and removed the sling to stretch his arm. He sat in the desk chair, doing the strengthening exercises Lara showed him and smoked.

Over the next hour or so, Justin and Jane gravitated to the center of the bed and were now curled around each other. Brian smiled. It would seem all was right in his world again. After spending time with Jane, learning what Brian had learned from her, had gone a long way in building respect between them. Jane was confident that Justin could handle his new role and often pushed Brian to allow him to help, or confide his feelings. Justin was accepting and accommodating of Jane's relationship with Brian and vice versa.

And here he stood, watching as they slept, finally getting an insight into what it meant to love two people completely. They were so similar it was sometimes amusing. They were both compassionate and temperamental. They both had very strong values and a deep sense of right and wrong. They were both open and caring, crafty and articulate. Well educated was too tame for their intellects and they both had the ability to just go with the flow. Justin had always understood things about him that no one else did, but Jane got him on a molecular level. Jane was fun and Brian enjoyed their mutual sexual teasing, but he desired Justin with every fiber of his being. Both of them challenged him, made him think, and scared the shit out of him if they ever decided to gang up on him. If that day ever came, Brian thought, he would most certainly choose suicide rather than face their combined wrath.

The puppies woke and he quickly took them downstairs to feed them, letting his companions continue to sleep. Bear scratched at the kitchen door and Brian let him in. He went upstairs first, checking the occupants of each room then did the same on the first floor and returned to the living room where Brian sat on the couch, nursing the pups. He settled his big rump on Brian's feet and placed his head in Brian's lap, much like he had at the dinner table Jane's first night at the lodge.

Brian gave him a scratch behind the ear and heard the dog's tail hit the coffee table leg as it wagged.  Brian chuckled, "Nothing beats a scratch behind the ear does it?" Bear wagged again and gave an impressive yawn.

"Am I boring you? Maybe you need a more intelligent topic of conversation?" Bear licked his hand and Brian grinned goofily.

"All right, how about politics?" Bear closed his eyes halfway as if to say, been there done that.

"Sports?" Bear's eyes closed all the way.

"Yeah, me neither."  Both puppies were finished and Brian lay down on the couch, placing them on his chest and rubbing their fur with his left hand. Bear repositioned so his head was in the crook of Brian's right shoulder, giving the human access to rub all the way from his head to his butt, which Brian automatically did before he thought about it.

"How do you do it?" he asked the dog. "You have two ladies outside in your house. I would think that would be overkill for anyone, even a dog." Bear's shoulders rolled as if to say, I just do, and Brian took it as just that.

"Could you maybe give me some pointers?"  Brian didn't want to think about what it said about him that he was having this conversation with a dog. Bear pulled away, staring him in the eye for a moment, then trotted off.

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought."

He carried the puppies back upstairs and put them in their bed. He thought briefly about climbing back in with Justin and Jane, but knew he wouldn't go back to sleep. He grabbed his stash, cigarettes and lighter from the nightstand and selected a blanket from the linen closet before making his way outside to the hammock.

He made himself comfortable and opened the silver bowl to roll a joint, only to find that Jane had already rolled the entire stash into fat cigarettes. His smile was both appreciative and accepting of her OCD. Putting one between his lips, he set the bowl on the ground with his cigarette pack and lit up.

The smell was comforting and relaxing. He pulled both legs into the hammock, covering one with the blanket and leaving the other free to the chill of the night air. He smoked with his left hand and let his right graze the ground, occasionally pushing with it to set himself in a lazy sway as he peered into the starry sky, making wishes on the ones that fell.

He thought about a lot of things while he swayed and smoked. He thought about La Perla, and the campaign he had for them percolating in the back of his mind. He contemplated Tempest and allowed himself to wonder just how big she could really get. Maybe even bigger than Rage. Hoped she would be bigger.

He needed to call Everett and find out if any progress had been made, and what the police were doing to bring his foe to justice. He wanted to call Cynthia and have a nice long chat about Everett's merits in the sack.

He placed the now dead butt of his joint on the ground and lit another, paying close attention to the way the leaves rustled on the trees above him.

He decided he would make dinner for Justin, to go with the cake he and Jane had made then take him to the hot spring for a nice long private conversation about their future.

Brian couldn't help the dorky grin that split his face.

"A penny for your thoughts." Jane's voice came from the darkness.

Brian sucked in a drag as she approached and held the joint out to her when she stopped next to the hammock. He exhaled ten perfect, tiny, smoke rings and she smiled, knowing he couldn't do it unless he was on his second or third joint. She climbed in next to him, on his right side and inhaled a long pull on the joint, passing it back to him.

"I'm gonna make dinner and we are gonna have that cake for dessert." he said, lazily.

"Wow, big plans in the making, huh?" Jane giggled.

Brian tweaked her nose for that comment and she laughed outright at his playfulness.

"So what gives?" she questioned, "I woke up to Justin spooning me, and while I certainly enjoyed him humping me in his sleep, I was a little worried you weren't there. You okay?"

Brian snorted in amusement, not a sound he usually made, but the weed was good and he was far enough into it, to not care what he sounded like. "Yeah, he does that. Like, all the time. I have him completely and utterly trained to think of sex first and everything else second. Even while he's sleeping. Be glad he didn't try to blow you."

"Yeah, I probably would have been a disappointment." Jane deadpanned and sucked in another hit.

"Do you think he would marry me?" Brian's voiced cracked a little at the end, but he definitely wanted Jane's opinion, now that she knew Justin better.

"Why do you want to marry him now?" Jane countered.

Brian leaned up on his elbow so fast he almost dumped them on the ground, his face screwed into an expression of near anger. "I wanted to marry him before. But shit kept getting in the way. Like that damn art critic and Lindsay and Melanie meddling. Hell, even Debbie had her two cents to put in. Shit, Justin had just as much to do with it as anyone else did. He didn't believe I wanted to change. Didn't like what I was changing into. How come everyone wants a say in telling me what I should do, but when I do change, no one likes it? Want me to still be some juvenile man-child? Unless they want my money or my club or my help in their relationships, want something from me! How come I don't get to decide? Why do I have to have a reason to marry him other than the fact that I love him and want to see his face every day? Do I not deserve that? Am I not worthy of the things normal people have? I certainly won't be a perfect spouse, but shouldn't I get a chance to try?!"

Jane blessed him with the biggest most heartfelt smile he had ever seen on her, just before she kissed him, full on the lips, and whispered one word. "Exactly."

She got out of the hammock and walked just far enough away in the darkness so he couldn't see her anymore. He heard her say "Congratulations. I wish you both the very best." Then a few moments later he heard the back door open and close.

It was then he realized he wasn't alone. He felt Justin before he saw him and knew the younger man had heard his little tirade. It wasn't the way he had wanted to propose, but there was nothing else for it now that the cat was out of the bag. "So? Whadda ya say? Wanna make an honest man outta me?" Brian drawled.

Justin's stomach clenched and his heart flipped over. He took Jane's spot next to Brian and when he finally trusted himself to speak, said "I don't know what to say. You are already the most honest man I know."

Brian's heart sank. It sounded like Justin didn't want him as a husband now any more than he had wanted him then. He lay back, silently cursing the stars and their fucking wishes that didn't come true.

"Brian?"

Brian refused to answer and seriously contemplated going back into the house and locking himself in the workroom, feeling like he should have known better than to put himself out there like that...again.

"Brian, my answer is yes. I do want to marry you and not because you have changed, or want to change, or haven't changed at all."

Brian's head swiveled so he could look Justin in the eye, making sure he was speaking the truth and not just what he thought Brian wanted to hear. The big, blue eyes spoke to him. They told a story of love and determination. Heartbreak and heartmending. Pride and humility. The tears that ran down pale cheeks were happy and full of promises. Justin kissed him, holding Brian's face and tenderly running fingertips over his closed eyelids.

His voice lowered, heavy with emotion, "Yes, I will marry you. Today, next month, next year. It doesn't matter. It's only time."

Brian kissed him back. Ravishing Justin's mouth between great gasps of air, touching him everywhere he could reach and hugging him closer than he ever had before, and still wanting more. More skin, more tongue, more hands, more love, until the hammock was too confining.

He stood and pulled Justin to his feet then bent and hoisted Justin over his good shoulder, carrying him into the house and laying him across the empty bed, determined to make love to him until the rest of the world faded away.

When Jane heard their shower turn on late the next morning, she made them crepes with homemade whipped cream and fresh berries for breakfast. When the water turned off, she carried the tray upstairs and politely knocked on their door. Brian answered wearing jeans still unfastened and rubbing a towel in his hair. He opened the door wider so she could come in and Justin perched himself in the center of the bed, a towel barely clinging to his hips and water still dripping from his skin.

Brian flopped on the bed next to him and Jane set the tray within easy reach. "Before you get started on breakfast I have something I would like you to do before you announce your engagement." She handed each of them a pad of paper and a pen. "On your paper, you will find two columns. The first labeled: I want... the second is labeled: I don't want..."

She folded her hands in front of her and continued, "I would like it if you each took the time today to be alone and fill these out separately. I think it is a good way to manage expectations, and it would also be good for both of you to see what is important to the other in your relationship. I will meet you both at five, in the kitchen, with your results." So saying, she left the room and closed the door, giving them back their privacy.

Justin was sitting on the back porch after working up the nerve to ask Tate, a veritable stranger, if he would mind too much if he drew him. Tate had reached out and ruffled Justin's hair like an older brother might and told him to "Go to town".

Justin had already completed two charcoals and was mostly finished with a third in pencil as Tate worked around the yard and horsed around with Jane and the agents. Brian swayed in the hammock, his laptop on his knees, smoking cigarettes and occasionally watching the goings on.

When Jane came out of the barn on Dandy's back, Bear raced around the horse's legs, wanting to be a part of whatever was going to happen. Brian went into the house, briefly, to retrieve the puppies and sat them next to Justin. The paper and pencils were quickly laid aside and the pups got all of his attention. Brian smiled to himself and went back to the hammock.

He didn't quite make it. Jane shouted, "Wanna go for a ride, Stud?"

She was teasing him, of course, since she knew he was still wary of Dandy's size, so she was caught off guard when he agreed and started walking back to her. She recovered quickly and Tate had Brian on Dandy's back, behind her, before the rest of the group managed to give him shit about it. Jane moved around until she had Brian's bare feet in the loops, and set off at an easy trot. Dandy tossed his head, wanting to go faster, but Jane wouldn't let him, for Brian's sake.

She took him down the road, her usual route, and let Dandy canter all the way back. The others had all gathered on the porch and as they rounded the building, Brian remembered what Jane had said about the first time she had ridden Dandy. When they made it back to the bend in the road, Brian squeezed the arm he had around her waist and leaned in to her ear. "Stop holding him back."

She looked over her shoulder at him, "You sure?"

Brian's smile was huge, full of the child he never was, about to embark on an adventure. He gave her a loud, smacking kiss on her temple, "You taught me to sing, now teach me to fly!"

Brian bent lower over Jane as she stretched out on Dandy's back. She moved his hand until she filled it with mane and yelled over her shoulder, "Don't let go! Loosen your hips so they don't fight his gait!"

Brian did as he was told, twisting his fingers in the thick hair. He scooted the remaining distance between them, hugging her hips with his and using them to guide his own rolling motion. When Jane felt him get comfortable she pressed further into Dandy, pulling Brian with her. Dandy felt the shift and surged forward, thundering down the lane.

Jesus Fucking Christ! I'm flying!

Holy Shit! This is AMAZING!

Noah had retrieved the camera and they had all moved to the front porch. Justin forgot about the puppies entirely when horse and riders came screaming into view. He had seen the videos of Jane, but it hadn't prepared him for seeing it in person. It hadn't prepared him to see Brian's look of absolute joy.

He was beautiful, hunched over Jane, eyes closed in sheer bliss. When they opened, Justin couldn't catch his breath. Brian was happy, overwhelmingly unadulterated happy. His eyes danced and his grin was so big, every secret dimple he had was playing merrily on his face.

As they rounded the house, out of view, Justin finally breathed again.

The cycle repeated, just as intense every time, for over an hour. When Jane finally stopped Dandy in front of the house and Tate helped Brian off the horse, Justin grabbed him by the elbow and pushed/pulled/shoved, him bodily into the house and up the stairs, determined to keep that look on Brian's face for as long as he could.

Brian's legs felt like Jell-O. A little shaky, watery, and tingly. Justin's hurry to get him upstairs notwithstanding, he wasn't sure he was up to fucking just yet, not sure his legs would hold him.

Justin thrust his tongue into Brian's mouth as soon as the door closed. His hands were everywhere, doing his best to memorize every inch of Brian's sweaty skin, his eyes open, taking in every facet of Brian's face and the joy still riding in his mossy green eyes, the gold flecks radiating mirth.

Brian smiled into his lover's mouth, liking the uninhibited and urgent motions of Justin's body as it fought to practically crawl inside him as he divested them of their clothes. Justin knelt to pull Brian's feet from his jeans, licking Brian's inner thigh, balls, and cockhead while he was there. He swallowed the dripping pre-cum, grasping the base of Brian's hard shaft, taking it into his mouth as far as it would go, in one long exceptionally wet slurp, tugging with his hand at the same time.

Brian gasped at the unexpected, slight, roughness and found himself pushed to the bed before he had time to think about it. Justin followed him down, pressing himself flat on Brian's front, rutting into his hip, and running his hands everywhere he could reach while still laving his tongue into Brian's hot mouth.

Brian pulled away, arching his neck, giving Justin permission and access to one of his most erogenous zones. The tiny spot right behind and below the hinge of his jaw, but not quite to his earlobe. Justin all but pounced on it, nuzzling and then dragging his tongue over it, exhaling a hot breath over the wetness, making Brian squirm and moan in delight. A small laugh rumbled in his chest and set nerve endings ablaze when it reverberated in Justin's torso.

"Tell me." Justin demanded, stroking Brian's dick and breathing in his smell. "What were you feeling...riding that beast?"

Justin's voice had dropped low at the last and just the sound of it almost made Brian cum. Brian barely hung onto his sanity. Justin was everywhere at once, hands and mouth engaging his flesh and as soon as Brian could focus on it, they would move somewhere else and start over until his whole body felt like a live wire sparking on wet pavement.

"Uh...like flying...mmm...yes. Or...aaahhhhaaa...like a...hhmmm...roller coaster." Brian managed to speak around his lust as Justin continued to drive him crazy. "Never been...Jesus, don't stop...but I imagine...yeah, right there...Holy Fuuuuck!"

Brian spread his legs farther apart giving Justin more room to maneuver. He gripped his own knee, pulling it up to his side, raising his head to watch as Justin's pink tongue darted out and licked a slow, wet, stripe up his crease and sucked a ball into his mouth.

Brian hissed his pleasure when Justin placed wet, swollen lips on his entrance and hummed. Dark eyes closed, then opened again when the blonde demanded that he watch.

Justin went still, waiting for Brian to make eye contact. When he did, Justin gave him a huge smile in reward and pushed two fingers into his ass at the same time. Brian grunted but didn't stop him, throwing out a hand to dig blindly in the side drawer for a condom. When he found it, he set it on his belly, and took off his sling. Justin looked like he was going to say something and Brian beat him to it. "You're driving. I just want to touch you."

Justin's heart hammered and when he licked Brian's nipple, felt his lover's pounding too. Brian stretched his arms over his head, gripped the edge of the mattress and arched his back, pressing his ass onto Justin's fingers and licking his lower lip.

Justin stayed still, watching that beautiful body repeat the motion, Brian's pelvis rolling slightly this time, telling Justin without words how he wanted to be fucked. When their eyes locked again, mirroring grins on their faces, Justin withdrew his hand and made quick work of the condom. He had the tip of his cock at Brian's entrance before the older man had had a chance to miss the fingers.

Justin hesitated, "Lube?"

Brian didn't, "No."

Justin nodded, knowing now what Brian wanted. He wrapped his arms under then around tan thighs and jerked Brian closer to him while thrusting his hips forward, spearing into Brian until he was balls deep. Brian made that delicious sound that started in his chest, stayed trapped in is throat for a moment, then slid past his lips with all the weight of a promise. Justin loved that sound. Wanted to taste that sound.

He threw himself forward, mashing Brian's legs up, and kissed those dark lips until they burned, twisting his own hips to emphasize what he felt. Brian made the sound again and this time Justin did taste it and it tasted like vulnerability and love. It tasted like happy and desire. It tasted like forever.

Brian mixed the noodles and sour cream into the crock pot and used a spoon to taste the results. He added some more salt and pepper, secretly proud of himself for making dinner. Granted it wasn't very hard and Jane had showed him how to do it some time ago, but everyone had loved it and he made it by himself.

He checked the time and seeing that it was near five, rounded up Justin and sat at the table waiting for Jane. When she came in, she silently held out a hand for their lists, read them to herself, and set them aside. Folding her hands, she looked at them for a few minutes and started to speak. "Do you plan on a pre-nup?"

They both shook their heads, Brian saying, "Everything that matters, is already in both our names. Standard and specific Power of Attorney was done years ago. Bank accounts have been joint for almost three years."

Jane nodded, "That's good. Justin? Is there anything else, legally speaking, that you need from Brian to feel like a true partner to him?"

Justin's head shook adamantly, "No."

"What about you, Brian? Is there anything else you want from Justin, to feel like a true partner to him?"

When Brian nodded, Justin's heart skipped a beat. Brian interlaced his fingers with Justin's and placed their joined hands on the table, but he spoke to Jane. It was now or never, and Jane had taught him that talking about what he wanted was necessary in any relationship. "I want him to accept that everything I have is his and to stop fighting with me about making his own way in the world. I want him to ask for and accept my help whenever he needs it, because I don't want him to struggle like I had to do. I fucking hate having to watching that. It kills me to watch that."

Justin's mouth fell open in shock. It hit him like a ton of bricks. All the offers of money, a job at Kinnetik, his education, was Brian trying to protect him. It was Brian providing. Providing necessities yes, but also an avenue of fulfillment and growth, wrapped in safety. It was an expression of his love.

With this revelation came the realization that every time it had been offered and he had refused the help, he was telling Brian that he didn't want him or his love. Justin could have swallowed his tongue. All those years he had been unwittingly pulling Brian to him with one hand and pushing him away with the other. Telling him with words how much he loved him, but showing Brian he wasn't worthy of it by not accepting his help. And still Brian had offered. Over and over and over. Wanting to give, and being kicked in the teeth each and every time with Justin's refusals.

Justin hurried to make it right, "Brian...I'm so sorry...I didn't know. I won't do it again, I swear."

Brian gave a small, sad smile. "Sorry's bullshit Sunshine. Besides, I didn't tell you. So how the hell could you know?"

Brian's thumb was rubbing Justin's and Justin decided to follow Brian's example and put something that had always bothered him to rest. "I need you to stop pushing me away. No more elaborate schemes to get me to leave, okay? I want to be with you. Then, now, and for however long I breathe. Yes, you are older than me and have more experience in the world, but I know what I want Brian and there is nothing I want more than you."

Brian snaked his free hand into the hair at the back of Justin's neck, pulling him in for a kiss, promising with his lips, eyes open, making sure Justin understood. Blue eyes smiled back at him, accepting the promise and giving one in return.

Jane cleared her throat, getting their attention. "Good. This is good. Now for your lists." She picked up Justin's first and read out loud, "I want: Brian do to whatever makes him happy. I don't want: Brian to push me away again." Jane handed the paper to Brian and when he set it down on the table, read Justin's words for himself. "Short list." he said, and Justin grinned at him, shrugging his shoulders.

Jane picked up Brian's list and read aloud, "I want: Justin to stay, even when he's angry with me. I don't want: Justin to leave me again. I want: Justin to be a Dad if he still wants to be one. I don't want: For him to do it without me."

Jane handed Brian's list to Justin and stepped out of the room, telling them she would be right back.

Justin fiddled with the paper, not looking at Brian. "Do you really mean that?" he whispered, daring to hope.

Brian touched his chin, gently turning his head until their gazes locked. "Every word." he said as he let his forehead sink to Justin's. They sat that way until Jane returned with Emmett, Lara, and a sheet of paper she placed face down on the table.

Lara took the chair closest to Justin and Emmett took the one nearest Brian. With everyone seated and looking her way, Tate standing in the doorway, Jane addressed them again. "Justin? Do you understand that Brian needs love, understanding, emotional support, and patience from you? He needs to feel as if he is providing for you and keeping you safe?"

"Yes, I understand that now."

"Brian do you understand that Justin needs to make his own decisions and needs to feel secure in your relationship, that no matter how angry, scared, or disappointed you are, you will not push him away, but pull him closer?"

"Yeah, I get it."

"Will you both promise, here and now, with Emmett, Lara, Tate, and myself as witnesses, to do your best to work through the hard times, no matter how long or short they may be, and to celebrate the good times, together, in love and understanding?"

They both nodded.

"I need you to say, yes or no, please."

When they said yes at the same time, Jane flipped over the sheet of paper and wrote something on the bottom. Emmett, Lara, and Tate, all followed suit and Brian narrowed his eyes then burst out laughing, suddenly aware of what was transpiring.

Justin didn't even get the chance to ask what was so funny when Jane said, "By the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you legally wed."

She slid the marriage license to them, handed them the pen, and when they had both signed, stated, "You may kiss your groom."

Brian tossed a leer to the room at large, pulled Justin onto his lap and lip-locked him before Justin could catch a breath, while everyone else clapped and Emmett sniffled. Brian finally let him go and Justin looked dazedly around the room for Jane but she was already gone.

"Is this real? Like, really real?" Did I just get married? At a kitchen table? With Brian barefoot, in jeans? Me in cargoes and a hoodie?

Brian pulled him in for another kiss, effectively shutting down Justin's ability to think anymore.

"She's been ordained for six years," Tate said with good humor, "so yeah, it's real."

Dinner went off without a hitch, with the exception of Emmett making them cut the pineapple upside down cake like a wedding cake, together. It set off a raucous round of cheering and clapping and Noah made sure to get it all on video, for posterity, or joke material, depending on the viewer. He kept filming as Emmett herded them all to the great room where he had removed all of the furniture from the center of the floor and turned on the stereo.

"Okay you two," he said, clapping his hands together to get their attention. "We couldn't decide what to play for your first dance, so we narrowed it down to a couple of songs and you can pick."

He hit play on the stereo and Joe Cocker's "You are so Beautiful" began playing as Brian pulled Justin into his arms and swayed with him around the room, their forehead's pressed together, occasionally smiling or kissing one another. The heartfelt lyrics, while simple, afforded Brian the opportunity to stare into his husband's eyes and let him see that he, himself, meant every word of them, before slowly dipping Justin back as the song ended and lingering over a sweet, somewhat chaste, kiss.

The next song to play was Harry Connick's "It had to be you" and there was a round of laughter as the newlywed's hammed it up for the camera, exaggerating their dance moves and showing off their more complicated steps, twirls, dips and footwork. By the time the music ended, everyone was wearing huge smiles, including Brian.

The playlist switched to dance club tempos and they all joined in the dancing and drinking, congratulating the husbands on their nuptials as often as possible, just to watch them beam with pride. The camera moved from person to person, allowing everyone to enjoy the party while Brian and Justin slipped further and further into a world of their own, until Brian steered his lover to the stairs and they disappeared.

Jane smiled behind the camera, turning it back to the revelers as they partied like dawn would never come.

"He didn't fall off the face of the fucking earth!" the gravelly voice shouted. "You need to find him! I want that sonofabitch to pay for what he did!"

Nick stared at the back of the leather chair wondering, not for the first time, who exactly it was he was working for. He didn't know his name, in fact, didn't even know what the man looked like. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, not sure if he was being dismissed, or if he should wait for more reprimands.

He was just about to leave, his hand on the knob, when the voice came again.

"Start looking into his family, business associates, and anyone else that we could use to draw him out."

Nick hesitated, but thought better of speaking. His boss was known for his volatile temper, and more than one man had turned up dead in the waters around Manhattan after crossing him.