Chapter 3

The Cave of Wonders

A few hours later, Justin had shifted the shimmering sands sufficiently sideways to show off the circular stone that strobed slightly as it stared up at the scorching solar source.

The mystical markings were different. The Magician was mystified. This had never happened before. Of course, he had never dug this thing up with a partner before either. It disturbed him that he could not read them. He conveyed this to Justin.

"Really, Uncle? It's perfect English. There are four words. Can't you see?"

"No. This is a very mystical stone, Justin. It is the gateway to a fabulous treasure and for this reason it is called the Cave of Wonders. Even I do not know all its secrets. Since you dug it up, you must say the words."

"How strange. Well, they are just painting styles. There's realism....abstract...impressionism...and fauvism."

These words were not evil in the least and so nothing had to die.

The words glowed, the stone glowed and the Fairy in shimmering blue and moonlight hair appeared again.

"Who disturbs my slumber and seeks to enter the Cave of Wonders?"

The Magician poked Justin who was so astonished his eyes were on permanent bug out mode and was stupefied into silence.

"Um...it's just me...I mean...I'm Justin Taylor...I didn't really disturb you, did I?"

"Justin!" The fairy focused on him and floated on air over to him. "Ahh yes! At last! I see you. At last we meet! Welcome Sunshine! Your heart is pure and your hands are clean. I can see that your soul is not moved by greed so you may enter my Cave of Wonders."

"Thank you...um....but...well you are beautiful and all....god knows I don't want to piss off a fairy....but I'm a fairy too...that is I'm gay...I'd rather not," Justin said.

The fairy laughed and her laugh was like an angel with a smoker's cough.

"Oh Sunshine, you are a breath of sweet air. I am aware of your orientation. I was not speaking carnally. The stone is open to you. Grasp the ring and pull and it will lift for you. Then you may enter the cave and partake of whatever you wish. All your worries can dispel, all your money problems will be solved. Enter, enjoy and be amazed. I will let my Sunshine innnnnn...." She faded and vanished.

She wrapped Justin in a tight buddy hug and led him over and emphasized every "you". At the last, her head swivelled and gave the Magician a big silent raspberry before she faded away. The Magician's blood boiled and wished there was a recipe for fricasseeing fairies.

Justin grasped the ring and pulled and it pulled upward smoothly. The gaping hole revealed a spiralling staircase going down as far as the eye could see.

"All right Justin, good luck." The Magician threw him a large backpack. "Use this to pack your riches. You will pass through two chambers. The first is a money chamber filled with all kinds of currency and treasure. Bronze, silver, gold is yours for the taking. Earrings, necklaces, armbands and cups and dishes, a dragon's treasure await thee. But resist filling your bag as the second chamber is a garden. I have studied this cave my whole life but I'm still unsure what makes it special but all my findings tell me whatever the nature of this place surpasses the first chamber in wealth. Somewhere in the garden there will be a prominent plinth. On the plinth will be an oil lamp burning. Blow out the flame, empty the liquor inside and then bring it with you. Take whatever else you want from the cave but all I ask from you is that you bring...me...that...lamp. OK?"

"Sounds do-able. Thank you Uncle. I won't disappoint you."

He looked down. The darkness was like Hell. He hesitated and voiced his concern.

His Uncle chose one of his many rings and gave it to him. The ring had a large green stone that was not an emerald but was rich in appearance.

"This ring will show you the way. It glows in the dark and I'm told it had a powerful protective charm on it. Go...and show no fear."

Justin nodded and started down.

"And don't forget the lamp!!!"

BJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJ

Down, down, down...

Down...down...down...

Down...down...down....

SCCCREEEEEEEEKKKK.!!!!!! Sorry, the needle was skipping. That's better.

However, luckily this was exactly the case. If down was up and up was down, Justin would have been on the moon. OK that's a bit exaggerated but that's how Justin felt at any rate. He looked up every so often and the circle of light that was daylight at the top of the shaft at this point he was sure he was the one getting shafted in more ways than one was as big as a basketball...as big as the moon....a star of light....gone.

And then there was only the puke-green light from his ring it did indeed glow in the dark. Justin held out his hand and it revealed one more stair as he stepped onto it...Always another stair...and another....and another...and another....and...well, you get the idea.

This went on for so long, Justin felt he should surely see a light coming from the bottom whether it be the core of the Earth, the other side of the world, or Hades. At this point Justin didn't care and assumed he was already in the latter.

Down...down...down...it wouldn't end. Justin was in despair. He'd gone too far to go back and the damnable stairs going down wouldn't end. Finally, Justin decided he was in a Sci Fi time loop that was showing him stair after stair after stair....after stair...after stair....after stair....

Part of a hallway. Justin did that nasty jerky thing where you overstep because you think there will be a stair but there isn't. Astonishment was total and joy was boundless. He was at the bottom.

The ring showed him step by step down a...not too long corridor with stone walls. This led to a huge wall with a crack running down it. This seemed apt as Justin figured he was in the ass of the Earth. He pushed against the wall and they were double doors. They moved inward to reveal...

This seems to be a good place for a boring commercial for insurance or a type of car or toothpaste or cocoa or cookies or pizza or...is anyone else hungry? Or maybe a PSA. No? And not a good place? Well, soooooo-oooorrrrrry!

So...the first chamber. O-M-G was all Justin could think and then...OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG....

There were a few gold coins at his feet. These led to more coins which led the eyes to 3 cups and a crown sticking out of a pile of money. The pile of coins was as tall as a tall strawstack. It turned out this strawstack led into yet another slope of gold that was as high as a...well however high a roller coaster is. It was as if Treasure Island, the LOTR Hobbit's treasure mountain and Scrooge McDuck's money bin had all puked in there.

The hill was like...a hedge. A golden hedge that stretched out in both directions.

Justin chose the smallest hill and struck out from there.

Scrooge McDuck is a liar. Walking on coinage like it was a sandy beach is bullshit and diving into it would have been certain doom. It slid around his ankles and trapped his feet like quicksand and he saw he needed to keep moving or it would be certain doom. He managed to create a sloping hill up the first mound, then another up the second and then a third and weaved his way back and forth, up and up, even as he dislodged wave after wave of coinage. Sticking out at intervals were...what could only be called cisterns...full of paper money as well, all kinds. American...Yen... Chinese Yuan...one was Indian rupees...Euros...it went on and on.

About halfway up the roller coaster hill, Justin rested on a concealed ledge and took stock. This was going to take forever. He looked around at the piles of emptiness. Out in the world this was coveted by every man but piled up in here it was as useless as garbage and twice as dead. There wasn't a sign of life except for a kind of flag flapping in the breeze upwards and a little to his left.

Wait a minute. There was no breeze. Justin struck out to see this curiosity because....well he was curious.

It took him about 40 minutes just to get there. What he thought was a flag was a carpet, with a rich, Persian design. It was about 7' long and 3 feet wide. A mass of coins had dislodged once upon a time and had covered one quarter of the carpet, miring it in the treasure forever more. However it flapped steadily up and sideways eternally trying to get loose.

Wait! That was crazy! A carpet couldn't be trying to "get loose". Nevertheless, Justin felt sorry for it and scraped the coins off of it.

He carpet flapped madly as if it was scared out of its wits like a trapped bear.

"Hey! Calm down or you'll trap the both of us!"

Incredibly, the carpet actually did settle down a bit.

Justin scraped and scraped and more and more of the carpet was revealed and it flapped and pulled until finally it pulled itself free like a cork out of a bottle and it flew away.

Justin was so astonished with what he saw that the pile he was on dislodged and avalanched him down two levels. In fact, Justin would have been buried except a cistern full of Canadian $100's slid past and Justin jumped in and rode the wave until it stopped. Justin popped his head out and saw to confirm...the carpet had not merely blew away, it was undulating and rolling itself up, unrolling again flying higher, lower, higher again higher than anything, nearly disappearing into the dark distance.....

And then it came back. It flew in a wide arc and came back. It flew back to Justin who was still taking a money bath and its front kind of...dipped down...in the front like...wait was it bowing? Justin also now saw it had gold tassels on each corner.

"Remembered me, did you?" Justin said wryly. The carpet flapped one of its tassels sheepishly. It bent down again.

"Wanted to stretch your wings again....so to speak huh? Well, that's OK. Say, do you know the way to a garden and a lamp?"

The carpet flapped both front tassels frantically. It bowed again in front of the cistern and sort of...stayed there....waiting...Justin felt a great excitement build in his chest.

"Do you mean....get on you?" The carpet flapped frantically again. "OK then." He grabbed several handfuls of the $100's and threw them in the back pack and then clambered out onto the carpet. It was better than nothing...even if it was Canadian.

And then....ZOOOM!!! They were off! Up and away and up and up and up some more....Justin felt incredible. He felt that excitement nearly burst his chest. He felt insane. He was riding on a fucking flying carpet!! He wondered if this was how Aladdin must have felt. He now wondered if Aladdin was really just a story or if he was real. Really real. He wondered what was real anymore. Maybe this was the only reality and his mother and the other world and his uncle and....everything else was the dream and this was waking. Or was it the other way around?

The carpet flew up and up and up and crested the roller coaster hill. Justin held out his hand and the sick green light seemed to glow brighter illuminating more and more around them. Justin's eyes widened, he felt dizzy, faint and a little sick. He had another OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG moment.

For the true nature of the treasure house was now revealed. The treasure had now leveled off. As Uncle Duke had promised, as well as bronze, silver, and gold coins from all nations there were gold and jewel encrusted: armbands, tiaras, earrings, necklaces, rings, goblets, utensils, daggers, swords, tea trays, and larger serving tureens with matching cloches of silver and gold. Poking out everywhere as numerous as zits on a man plagued with back-ne were those cisterns full of all nations paper money. Justin had to assume there were cisterns buried beneath the golden sand as well....everywhere. There were huge straw stacks everywhere made out of golden....well..straw. Golden string and strands that Rumpelstiltskin himself may have spun were stacked at regular intervals.

And yet...even this...was as nothing.

Justin could now see that Treasure Island, the LOTR treasure mountain and Scrooge McDuck's money bin were all just a drop in the bucket, change in a busking violinist's hat perhaps, compared to this. The golden mounds and straw stacks stretched out in all directions as far as Justin could see. Onward, he could not see the end, to the left, to the right, coinage and treasure endless as the sands of the desert above.

Justin stroked the carpet and thanked God and the carpet for helping him. He now saw he would never have made it across without assistance.

The carpet flew across the golden desert for about 10 minutes. At last it began to slope down again and after going down another slope the size of a roller coaster hill, they reached a huge open doorway with a curved arch. The carpet flew serenely through and Justin entered the garden.

It was a strange place. There was an unidentified light source and the walkways were solid gold, like glass, no bricks. Trees and bushes were plentiful and all had strange and colorful fruit on them; all the colors of the rainbow. There were fat bushes with white berries on them all over the place. Then Justin heard a gorgeous sound: the tinkling of water. The carpet flew him over and he disembarked at a marble, three tiered fountain with crystal clear water moving over and through it. Justin drank deeply and gratefully.

"I knew you were the right one to enter my cave. How clever you are!"

The voice was not loud but it was right behind him and just...there. The carpet leapt behind a tree and rolled itself up like a sausage and Justin almost fell into the fountain.

It was only the Blue Fairy.

The Blue Fairy wafted over and sat on the edge of the fountain beside Justin even though she was all wispy and apparition-ey down there and Justin doubted she had any legs at all. She sighed a soft, contented, "I've been walking mile and miles and only just now have I sat down" kind of sigh even though Justin strongly doubted this was the case at all since...well...no legs.

"And how are you enjoying my Cave so far, Sunshine?" she asked.

"It's the most fantastic thing I've ever seen," Justin said honestly. I took me 10 minutes to cross the golden waste and that was with transport," He whistled for carpet. Carpet came cautiously out and the Fairy stroked it, causing a back tassel to shake wildly.

The Fairy laughed at both of them. "I must say, I don't think I've ever heard of my treasure room referred in that way before," she said.

"It's all too much for one person. I heard my grandpa say once, "Money is like manure. It's just shit until you spread it around."

The Fairy thought that was hysterical. While she laughed some more, Justin took another drink. It was delicious.

"That indeed is a wise saying. I hope you shall remember it all your life. I notice you took very little. Are you not in need?"

"Oh I am! It's just that gold is heavy. I thought I'd grab the sack full on the way back."

"Very practical. And how clever of you to stop and drink from the fountain!"

"It's the first water source I came across. Men put much value in it but you cannot drink gold or eat silver."

"Wisely spoken. But that's not what I meant...exactly. This is the water of Life. Whoever drinks of it...I guess that's you...shall life forever in the beauty of Youth and shall never thirst again."

Justin gaped. "Whaaat....? But...but...I didn't mean for that! To live forever...."

"It's a long time, yes. This may make it a sweeter experience." She pulled a vial out of nowhere and filled it with water from the fountain. "Give this to the one who will be your mate. He shall share your gift and you will live together for all time."

Justin took it with shaky hands. "Thank you. I will have to....choose wisely."

"Not a problem for one who is wise and clever and courag-..."

"Oh, please stop calling me all that stuff! I'm not so great! I wonder why I'm even here, I don't deserve it! Don't you know? You must! I've done things! Awful things! Sexual things. I've stolen...so much....The guilt...is so hard to bear sometimes... Oh God, the things with Twelve alone..... And it still doesn't make a dent in things! We're still horribly in debt."

"Yes, I know the things you have done," the Fairy said quietly, "I also know everything you do is done out of duty and want and need. You do not glory in your evil deeds or seek to do evil. You are generous and greed is not in your heart. I have also seen that you have turned many of your evil deeds to good or tried to make restitution when you can. If you had the means to earn a living and were out of debt would you return to gang life?"

"Hell no!" returned Justin.

"Well then, there you go! That's why I chose you, Justin. You are simply a diamond in the rough. And together...we are going to make you shine, as bright as your name! You seek the lamp, of course."

"Ummm...yes as a matter of fact. But it's for my uncle really. I get any money I can carry. My uncle gets the lamp. That was the deal."

"Justin, that man up there is not your uncle."

"What? Well, who is he then?"

"An old enemy. He has sought the lamp for many of your years and has duped you with the promise of temporary riches in exchange for the greater treasure, the lamp."

"But who is he then?"

"That I do not know, only that he is very ancient and evil. As soon as he has obtained the lamp, he will kill you."

"And how do you know all this? And who are you?" Justin asked shrewdly, for it suddenly flashed upon him that she was dying to tell him.

The Fairy smiled sadly. "I am one of three siblings. Eons ago, the Great Power deemed I and my brothers' powers were too great and banished us to prisons, to be separated and slaves forever. I was deemed to this place and made the Keeper of the Cave. I do not know where my brothers are."

"That's terrible!" exclaimed Justin.

"Yes. But the Great Power...I guess he would be the one you think of as God....knew best. My older brother alone..." she shuddered. "Of course you've heard of Atlantis and the unicorns and the huge dragons that breathed fire and chaos."

"Well yes. But...those are only myths....legends," Justin protested.

"They are now," sighed the Fairy regretfully.

Justin could think of nothing to say to that so that's exactly what he said.

They sat in companionable silence for a while and then the Fairy said: "Well, I'll leave you to it then. The plinth with the lamp on it is around the next corner. Enjoy the fruits of my garden and take everything you need. But take care you hold fast to the lamp. Farewell, my Sunshine...we shall not meet again......"

She faded along with her voice and vanished.

Justin sat for a few minutes, trying to plan what to do. Finally, he got up and rounded the corner in search of the object of his quest.

The plinth itself was simple enough, Wooden and simply carved. The path ended where it stood. The old fashioned oil lamp sitting upon it looked like something out of Aladdin's story. It seemed to be bronze, dented in a few places and dirty. As he had been told, it was burning brightly for no reason at all.

Justin went over, took it up, blew it out, pulled out the wick, poured out the fuel just as he'd been told. He turned the lamp over and over in his hands wondering what was so special about this nondescript lamp. Finally, he shrugged and tossed it into his pack. Maybe he could sell it on Craig'sList or something.

He now turned his attention to the garden. He went over to the apple tree and picked an apple.

It was not an apple. It was a ruby.

Justin felt a great excitement in his chest and a great weight fall off his back. Whoever said money doesn't grow on trees had never been to this place

Justin went around to various trees and found along with the red rubies: yellow sapphires, green emeralds, blue turquoises, and purple amethysts; the bushes with white berries were pearls.

Justin gathered a few or more of everything and enough pearls for necklaces for his mother and Molly and then called for Carpet.

"I think it's about time to get out of here, whadd'ya say?" asked Justin. Carpet indicated agreement my scooping him up and whizzing him out of there. Justin laughed in delight. He'd never had anything this fantastic happen to him ever.

Along the way, he found a cistern full of American $1000 bills. He grabbed as much as he could ten times. Then he flew along and did that with some Euros and then Swiss francs. He heard the market was pretty good regarding those at the moment. He also stopped Carpet about halfway along and scooped in some gold and jewels indiscriminately and even stopped at a gold haystack and stuffed some of that in as well. When he was done, he was pleased with his haul and declared: "Well! If this doesn't pay off that blasted hospital bill...nothing will! Good bye, Spawn of Satan!!!" He laughed delightedly, so glad he was to be free of that weirdo. This might be considered counting one's chicken's before they're hatched but at this point Justin didn't care. He felt alive and free.

He flew back to the door in what seemed like no time since this was the case. Justin hopped off the carpet.

"Well, thanks for everything. I guess you'd be happier down here where you can fly in peace. You'd have to lie around all day in my world. Just promise me you won't get trapped by any more gold slides, ok?"

The carpet wasn't having any of that. Before he'd even finished speaking, the carpet spun around him and flew low and tripped him easily, catching him in his undulating folds.

"Ooofff!! Guess this means you want to come with, huh?"

The carpet made various gestures to say: "Of course!"

"Oh but what about getting you past...him?"

The carpet had that all figured out too. Tilting cleverly, he set Justin on his feet. He rolled himself tightly up and laid himself across the top of Justin's backpack. Of course, Justin felt no extra weight.

"Clever, Buddy. OK then! Let's blow this pop stand and start our lives!"

The carpet agreed by jumping to life again and scooping him up again. They flew through the doors and down the hall and then up the long stairwell. Justin just laid there and stroked the soft carpet lovingly.

"My own flying carpet. My very own...flying ...carpet," he repeated dreamily It felt like a dream. The whole thing was like a dream. He couldn't believe it even though a flying carpet was at that moment pulling elevator duty. Not to mention the backpack of treasure beside him.

The carpet flew them nearly to the top. Then he deposited him on the stairs and rolled up and assumed the position behind Justin's shoulders.

"Uncle! Uncle! I'm back! I'm back! I'm coming!" Justin yelled. He ran up the stairs with ease but pretended otherwise. The carpet had somehow draped himself around his armpits and was still giving him lift.

A head popped over the round opening. "Justin!! You're back?? I'd about given up hope!"

"It was...difficult going. How long have I been gone?"

"Two days. Did you bring the lamp?"

"Yes, yes I've got it. I brought quite the wad though and it's heavy! Pull me up and we'll get it."

"Give it to me first! Show it to me!"

"Uncle, it's buried in money and gold and jewels. It might be at the bottom. I can't remember. Just pull me up...we'll look together." Justin reached and reached but "couldn't quite pull out".

His wrists were caught up in stronger, larger hands. They pulled him up partways and somehow Justin found himself dangling over the void away from the steps. The Magician pulled him close enough to stare deep into his eyes.

"You aren't going to give it to me. You know....don't you?"

"Know what? I'm not sure wha-"

The Magician let him go.

Justin's scream was horrible as he fell down and away into the dark.

The Magician let out his own shriek of rage as he let go of what was his for another millennia. Then he spoke the magic words and the stone slammed closed on its own accord. The sand fell over it but the Magician knew it would disappear from this place as well.

He got into the jeep and drove away.

A little ways off from that place he spoke more words. A wind picked up and kicked up a sandstorm. There was a localized sand tornado. The Magician drove into it.

The wind and the sand dropped away. Everything cleared and when it did the jeep, Magician and all was gone.

TBC