Chapter 6

The Liquidation Department

OOOF!!!

Justin fell out of the ether at last and landed on his new circular, sinfully soft, silken bed. He found he was still holding the lamp in one hand and in the other the rolled up deed to his new house.

Justin dashed downstairs to show his mother. She was astonished since to her it seemed as if he had just dashed upstairs a moment ago. However, she was even more astonished to see the deed, with its rich, curlicued writing,, official seals and rich appearance. Indeed, in our world, the deed looked and felt like pressed gold.

"But Justin! What about the mortgage here? And the bills and the electric and everything we've been struggling with? How can we pay all that off before tomorrow?"

"I'll use the treasure from the cave. Fortunately, some of what I grabbed was US currency but the rest will have to be sold to an antiquities dealer or refinery."

"Antiquities? A refinery? Out here? And how would you explain how you got all that stuff? How do we explain away gold doubloons and jewellery? They'll think you stole it!"

"Ironic," Justin said laconically, "This is the first income to cross my palm honestly in two years...at least. But this is what would bust me!"

"Oh dear! And I know I haven't been much help! I'm so sorry Justin! What are we going to do?"

Justin hugged his mother. "That's OK, Mom. At least you're back with me now. I'll go back up and talk to the genie. We'll figure something out."

BJBJBJBJBJBJBJB

Back Upstairs...

Justin rubbed the lamp.

Shock...smoke...and the genie in all his gauzy, muscled splendor.

Justin braced himself and then breathed a huge sigh of relief when the genie was in his (normal???) male appearance.

"Master, what is your second wish?"

"Genie, I've consulted with my mother and we feel it would be well if we pay off or are ready to pay off all our bills when we move. To do this, I need to liquidate the treasure I brought home.

Ahhhh I see. You need to sell your treasure but do not know the exact worth?" deduced the Genie.

"Yes, exactly. And I need someone who will trade fairly and not cheat me," added Justin.

"MASTER!! UHHHH...Sir Justin!" amended the Genie with joy, "I know just what to do! Please get your treasure and sit on the carpet."

"Uhhh...OK." Justin was a bit confused but he obeyed anyway.

"This is my favorite part of the job really! Hang on tight! Next stop! The LIQUIDATION DEPARTMENT!"

"Huh! What are you talking about? Wait a min-..."

"SIM SALA - ..."

"WAIT!!!" screamed Justin.

" BIM!!!" PPPPOOOOOFFFFF!!!!

It was like being in the middle of an explosion. Smoke was everywhere, the house completely disappeared and Justin was projectiled upward for 200 feet like a rocket.

"YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Justin screamed. He could feel he was moving slower and slower and then a prospect even more terrifying than shooting upwards at a great speed presented itself. Going down again.

Justin looked around but all he could see was smoke and clouds, Up, down, around. He knew he was moving up but it was a nasty feeling when at the same time, if felt like you were not moving or at least not getting anywhere.

Below him, Justin saw that the carpet had twisted itself into a messy tube, like a clumsily rolled doobie, and was shooting up after him like a rocket. As Justin began to slow and then stopped and hung in the air just before the moment when he would start his downward plunge again.... Carpet adroitly unrolled and flattened into a square and neatly caught him. The carpet continued to rise as if an elevator to nowhere.

"You've saved me again," Justin said wonderingly, as he stroked the soft carpet in praise. Carpet rippled in

pleasure.

They rose for a few minutes and then suddenly the clouds parted a bit and a floor appeared out of nowhere. Carpet halted his upward movement and Justin looked around in wonder.

Well, wonder was a bit of an understatement.

There was a large square floor. The floor was tiled black and white checkerboard style. It was literally like there was a giant checkerboard hanging in the air. On all four sides it was surrounded by clouds and there was no guardrail, just a sharp dropoff to Hell.

Near the middle of the floor was a barrier point. There was a kind of counter set up all along the floor and along the counters windows were set up with an attendant at each window. It was kind of like being at a bank or a bus station. Over the counter a sign was hanging in midair. In curlicued writing it said: LIQUIDATION DEPARTMENT.

The back half of the checkerboard was a small version of the cave of wonders. High mounds of treasure, gold coins, crowns, rings bracelets and other jewellery. There was a whole pile of scepters with a throne made with a gold frame and encrusted with jewels thrown into the middle of it upside down. There were various daggers and swords. Statuetttes of foxes, cats, dogs and birds were everywhere as well as ugly golden idols with various jewels encrusted into their foreheads. All this and much more were piled in ugly, haphazard mounds behind the barrier.

Carpet flew him over and the slanted over into a convenient little slide the deposited Justin neatly onto his feet.

Justin looked left and right and sighed.

He, of course, chose the window nearest to him, but he could see that every window was being manned (so to speak) by a differently dressed out skagged man. They were, of course, all HIM.

A "classy", buxom bushy platinum blonde, a slutty redhead, a Marilyn Monroe caricature, Betty Boop, Jackie O, a Scarlet O'Hara try to look alike in a hoop skirt and everything and even a Yoko Ono (OH NO!) attempt. All were different and garish and each was like looking into a different smashed in funhouse mirror.

Of course they were all him, replicas of the male genie downstairs. Justin didn't understand why he was doing this. But he was planning to have a serious talk with the genie downstairs.

He cautiously approached the Scarlet O Hara.

"So what can I do for you, my sugary sweet potato?" drawled the nightmare in what he thought was a surupy Southern drawl.

"Nooooooppe," was all that Justin would say and moved down to Jackie O.

"How can I help you?" asked Jackie in a somewhat more businesslike tone.

Justin plunked the backpack full of treasure down on the counter. A dagger with jeweled hilt fell out and stuck with the tip in the counter and two doubloons fell out.

"I see, I see." Jackie said and pulled the dagger out of the counter. She magically wiped the dent out of the counter. "And what currency are you looking for?"

"American dollars," said Justin.

"No problem."

"I'm...I'm trying to get out of debt, you see," Justin felt it necessary to explain.

"Absolutely no need to explain, "Jackie O'Djinn said. "84% of the Djinn's clients come here to get out of debt. Usually with COW trash like this."

"COW trash?"

"Cave of Wonder. The magician has tried bribing his way to the lamp 6, 584 times. But we're always very careful to keep out of his reach."

"I see. I wasn't aware that you were...aware of him."

"Oh yes...Oh yes..." With one hand, Jackie used a claw- like nail to scrape and count doubloons and with the other tap furiously on a computer keyboard. "Of course, he has no idea....and we like it that way...." The last was conveyed with more than a hint of warning.

"Oh...I understand...Of course. So...what do the other 16% come here for?"

"Oh, well, usually a person's first wish is for a cash lump sum. A million. A billion dollars etc. You get the idea. That's about 14%." Jackie O put the jeweled dagger on a scale, calculated the worth of the gold on it, tapped that into the computer. "Hang on a sec," she said. She affixed a jewelers lens over one eye and squinted hard at each ruby, sapphire and diamond, all the while her other hand was busy tap, tap tapping away.

Finally she was done with it and she casually threw it over her shoulder toward the pile. It flipped over and over, shining in the air until...CRUNCH....it buried itself to the hilt into the head of the Venus De Milo. Right between the eyes.

There was a terrible cracking noise and the statue cracked and then split completely in half.

"Oops," Jackie said mildly and continued counting out doubloons as if her life depended on it and otherwise ignored many a dirty looks from her worker clones in the background.

Justin sensed that was a touchy subject so he waited till she had worked her way past several crowns and rings and necklaces before speaking again.

"Um...so these other people...wish for money...and then what?" he asked.

"Oh yes. Well, invariably, they regret buying something or other...or many something or others, or they foolishly run through everything and come here to sell off what's left for seed money to start over." Jackie O finished her story in a way that said there really wasn't any more to tell. As was the case.

Finally she was down to the cash. She crooked a red, shiny claw nail of a finger and all the American cash jumped to the right side of the window and gathered itself in neat piles of $5000 each of $100 bills.

Any foreign currency jumped and settled itself to the left side. Jackie picked up a hunk of it, and ran a thumb through it as if counting it. She frowned and shook her head slightly and counted off a few bills, thumbing them back to the counter. She rifled through them again and was satisfied. She turned over the wad and thumbed through the other side. The wad turned green and smaller and they were a wad of $5000 American!

Jackie did this again and again, going through all the ducats and Euros and Canadian dollars and turned all of it into American. With each $5000 wad, she typed it into the computer.

At last, the remainder of the money was left. She thumbed through it, it changed into $362, and some change pooted out of the bottom of the bills and bounced off the counter. Jackie caught them before they could hit the surface twice.

"OK, so we're almost done. Are you cashing in the carpet as well? For a Persian carpet, it's pretty standard but with the magical properties it's exhibiting, that hikes its value up to 5 billion dollars." That shiny red finger hovered over the keyboard.

Justin was sitting on it as a chair as he waited and he immediately felt it droop. It's corners sagged and it kind of....deflated in sadness as it sank down to the floor. He knew Justin wouldn't be able to pass that up.

Justin didn't even have to think about it. "Oh, I'm sorry, this carpet isn't included. It's not for sale at any price. I've never owned a flying carpet before and I expect I never will again, if I let him go. Besides that, he's helped me out of a jam three times and two of those times saved my life I can't pay that back by selling him like a box of cookies. Sorry, absolutely no sale."

The carpet bounded back up in joy. It vibrated in barely supressed energy and Justin could tell he was in for quite a ride when he got back to Earth.

Jackie O "NO" siss gave an approving nod and then pressed a single key which seemed to be the total button.

"OK, so all that swag, taking into account, the antiquity, the gold, the silver, the platinum, the jewels and the current rate of exchange, your total balance comes to 1,745,895,862.86.

"A bill.... a bill..... a billllllll..........lionnnnnn dollars???? A BILLLL-ION?? A billion???" Justin couldn't wrap his head around it.

"And 745 million and eight hundred ninety five thousand and eight hundred and sixty two more dollars. And eighty-six cents." she added unnecessarily.

"OH..... MY...... GOD!!!!!" Justin was floored. He fell back onto the carpet but since it was still vibrating like a tuning fork, it wasn't much comfort.

When he felt he could stand , he did so and croaked, "So what happens now?"

"Well, would you like it in cash, cashier's cheque, or direct deposit?"

"You guys... can do... direct deposit?"

"Oh my yes! Easy as pie! It'll be waiting for you at the New Liberty First National Bank. I'll give you a passbook, a book of cheques and when you go in everybody will remember you having that account there for the last 5 years. Just don't press anyone for details, I find that those human mortals' memories are....rather temperamental...so to speak....especially when they are pressed too hard."

"Thanks for the advice. Well, I would like to take one wad of 5000 with me. Otherwise...yes! Direct deposit will be great!"

"Excellent! Here you go! Please sign here... it's simply a waiver saying you've received everything in full."

"Mmmm-hmmmm." Justin perused it quickly and signed it. He never signed anything he didn't read.

Jackie No tapped a few keys and tapped enter. The cash except for one wad vanished. In its place appeared a passbook and a chequebook both with the New Liberty First National Bank logo on them. Jackie handed them over.

"Here you go! Use them in good health and good wisdom. Keep close lipped about your fortune and invest. If you do, it will go far. Good luck Justin!"

P O O O O O F F F F F F!!!!!!!

The window vanished and with it the tiles shattered like crystal. And just like that, Justin was falling into a cloudy void once again.

TBC