Disclaimers: QAF characters don't belong to me. This is fanfic and just for fun. Most, if all are OOC. Set in Canada because guess what!!? I'm Canadian! <wink>

A MOUNTIE ALWAYS GETS HIS MAN!

EPISODE 2: THE WOES OF EMMY LOU

Chapter 1

At the Bank => Part 1

Ted Schmidt, bank manager and secret opera lover and singer, squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.

The reason for this was that he was bound hand, foot, at the chest, waist, and biceps to said chair. The hands were tied to the handrests. His feet were tied to the back of the chair holding them in place. He strained and struggled against the ropes, all to no avail. He knew he was in great peril so the weird thing was; he kind of enjoyed the restraint, the tight feel of the rough ropes. He enjoyed the struggling. It was giving him a hard on which he tried to conceal from his captors as much as he could.

"HELP! HELP!!" he yelled.

"Yell all you want, you pathetic worm! All the bank tellers and customers are being held at gunpoint out in the front of the bank and no one can hear you outside! You are totally at my mercy!"

"You evil fiend! Who are you? And what do you want with me?"

The man in the dark swirling cloak, black top hat and mask that reached over ¾ of the way down his face smiled cruelly. "You may call me Mr. X. And I've told you what I want. The combination to the vault and the keys to the safe where the deeds to the mines are kept! Now cough them up! Or you'll be coughing up blood!"

""But why do you want those? It makes no sense!"

"I've decided to move my operations along a little faster. Why jump claims one by one when I can just get them to sign them over to me...and they will sign...or they will die! Now, I'm not going to ask you again! Tell me the combination and give me the key! NOW!!!" He cocked his revolver with an ominous click and pointed it straight at Ted's heart.

"You! You're the claim jumper!?"

"Indeed!"

"If you shoot me, you'll never find out!" Ted said bravely, "I'm the only one who knows the combination! Let everyone go and I'll tell you. They're of no use to you!"

"Nice sentiment! Now, here's my counteroffer!" The gun moved down to Ted's leg. "I'll shoot you in the leg. The pain will be exquisite. Or excruciating. Depends on how you look at it. And for every 15 minutes you last without telling me, I'll tell one of my boys to kill a hostage out front. I may not be able to kill you but I'll blow them away without a second thought."

Ted gulped and stared at the gun trained on his thigh as if hypnotized. He squirmed in the ropes but to no avail.

"TELL ME!!" the madman screamed.

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One hour earlier:

Ted hunched over the ledgers in his office, going over the receipts and cheques and cash he had just acquired from the tellers. He wrote number after number on one side the other of ledger pages making sure they balanced at the bottom.

Numbers came easy to Ted. Numbers were safe. Numbers were comforting. Numbers never changed, never judged, never promised anything, and never let you down. They simply were there, to add, subtract, divide and multiply. Ted manipulated them and juggled them as easy as a circus clown does a bunch of balls and to Ted....it was engaging and fun. He never wanted to do anything else.

Ted was a thin man, masculine, with dark hair and a sweet yet average face. He was 40 something years old, gay and ragingly horny all the time but of course nobody knew that. And...truth be told...no one would care. He was past his prime and he knew it. Even if he wasn't stuck in this backwater hellhole where nothing happened.

Ted shrugged off the morose thoughts and rubbed his eyes through his wire rimmed reading glasses and sighed. He stretched, took a short break and then went back to work.

Fifteen minutes later he was startled out of his work by noises outside his door. There were gunshots. Screams. Yelling. Ted heard faintly, "Get down on the floor!"

The red emergency light on his intercom began flashing. That was bad. That was activated by a teller in the case of extreme distress. At the same time the lock on his door engaged with a BANG! This was also activated by the teller's panic button.

Ted reached under his own desk and pressed his panic button that was connected to the underside of it. Then, in addition, he opened a drawer and took out a telegraph that was connected to the police Dept. and started to tap out 3 short....3 long...three short. S.O.S.

Ted was able to be at this for a good 5 minutes before there was a BAM!!...at his door. Ted kept tapping away.

BAM!! BAM!! BAM!!! The door was weakening.

S.O.S...S.OS...S.O.S...

BAM!! BAM!! BAM!! SMMMAAAASSSSHHH!!!! The strong lock was broken, the door was splintered and flew open. Three masked men in black, one in a cape and top hat swarmed in. The smashed door was kicked shut as best it could be as they evilly advanced.

"Boys! Mr. Schmidt here is going to make us very wealthy. But first we have to have a little chat! Sit him down away from that telegraph and TIE HIM UP!!!"

Laughing evilly and like idiots, the two thugs in black advanced, each holding several coils of rope.

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Same time...front of the bank...

Emmett kept a wary eye on the mercantile and avoided it at all costs. And so it was that he wasn't really paying attention when he entered the bank.

Well, this didn't look right! There were customers on the floor and the tellers looked terrified and had their hands in the air. And there were several men...in...black...and...oh fuck it!

The men in black turned around and trained their guns on Emmett. "Who the hell are you?" they yelled.

Emmett gulped. "You know what? I'm nobody! I was never here. You seem busy. I'm just gonna go on and get outta your hair and..." He took a step back slowly.

"SHUT UP! Hold it right there! And reach for the sky!!"

Emmett sighed a huge breath and did as he was told.

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Justin's House...

A brown horse galloped up to Justin's yard and a rider dismounted.

He banged on Justin's door. It was Oscar, one of the other police officers in the meagre forces that Grizzly Hills possessed.

"Open up! Police!"

The door was yanked open and Brian filled the doorway. He had his police pants on but his shirt was open all the way down the front. "What is it, Oscar?"

"Brian! Thank God! Deb told me you might be here! You've got to come quick! The bank's being robbed! They've taken hostages! And the school was invaded! The kids are being held hostage! Justin didn't show up for school again! We need every man we can get and...say...why didn't you come in to work today? And what are you doing here?"

"I was going to take a "I nearly had my ass killed" day. And as for what I'm doing here, I'm doing none of your fuckin' business, that's what! Now get back to town and I'll join you shortly." WHAMM! The door was slammed shut and locked.

Oscar shrugged. Oh, well. He hadn't known Brian Kinney all that long but he knew him well enough that he did whatever the fuck he wanted. At the same time though, he was somehow very dependable. He jumped back on his horse and galloped away.

Someone with X-ray vision would have seen Brian buttoning up his shirt with lightning speed. Justin gathered his boots and gauntlets together. Brian girded himself with his belt and made sure everything was in place. By that time, Justin was holding out a boot. Brian jammed a foot into one and then the other. Justin held out his scarlet tunic and Brian backed into it. He buttoned it up quickly and when he was done, Justin was there with his gauntlets draped over his forearm. He pulled them on, flexing his fingers till they were all the way on and showed that they were, as the supple leather stretched skin tight against his fingers and knuckles. He stood there in all his Mountie glory and then gathered the blond in his arms and bent him back for a deep, hot, yet quick kiss of farewell.

The two men had never danced this dance before but they did it as if they had done it all their lives.

Someone with super hearing would have heard: "Stay here, Justin! I'll be back as soon as I can!"

"What!? No!! I'm coming with you! OK, Bank robbery might be your bag but those kids are mine! It's my fault they're in jeopardy! I've got to do anything I can to help them!"

"No way Justin! You're not a police officer! This could get you killed! I can't - I can't risk losing you!"

"I'll be careful! I'll be fine! I just want to do something! Anything to get those kids out of danger!"

"Justin! NO!" Brian's voice was of pure consternation and horror.

"Brian, I just can't sit here and pace! I've got to do something!!!!"

Brian growled deep in his throat. "RRRRRR....Silly little twat! Fine! Come on!"

Well, that's what someone would have seen and heard if they had X ray vision and super hearing. Of course no one did in the slightest so no one really saw or heard anything at all.

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Ted's Office....

"TELL ME!!!" screamed the madman.

"NO!! Not until you let the hostages go! They're useless to you!" yelled Ted.

BANG!

Ted reflexively spasmed as he tried to jump out of his skin. But he could barely squirm and he groaned.

There was a bullet hole in the floor just to the left of his leg. Mr. X slowly moved the gun back to his thigh. "Last chance! And you! Go grab a hostage and bring him over to the door.

The thug obeyed. A few minutes later he re-appeared with a tall, lanky business man type.

"Ted's eyes widened. "Emmett! But I thought you were a lumberjack!"

Emmett inwardly cringed. Oh yeah! He'd always come in with that outfit on before. Dammit! Things were really getting out of control here!

"Hi Teddy! It's not...it's not what you think..."

Mr. X moved to Emmett's side and pressed the gun to his temple. "SHUT UP!! Last chance...Teddy! The combo and key! Or I'll drop him where he stands!!"

BJBJBJBJBJBJ

Oscar arrived back in town and jumped off his horse before it had fully stopped. He ran toward the bank.

"PSSSSTTT!!!!" There was a hissing signal from a narrow alley and a wad of money was flapped into view and then pulled into the alley out of sight. Oscar went to investigate.

Before he was fully there, a black leather glove grabbed his shirt front and yanked him into the alley. Oscar caught sight of a masked face before he was spun around and an arm was pulling tightly and painfully against his windpipe. The other gloved hand waved the wad of money in front of his eyes hypnotically. A voice whispered and blew erotically into his ear.

"Did you do as you were told? Did you let it slip that the school was held captive? Even though that's not the case!"

"Y - yes Sir!" Oscar managed to choke out.

"Good boy!" The leathered arm loosened its hold and the gloved hand stroked his throat lovingly. "Here is what was promised you! Continue to be our good little cop slave and there might be more! Betray us...at your peril!! He! he! he!!!" The money was slipped into his pocket and the faceless man copped a feel and laughed nastily again. Then Oscar was shoved roughly out onto the street again. When Oscar recovered his equilibrium and turned to the alley, the masked man was gone.

BJBJBJBJBJBJ

Brian and Justin dashed into town on Midnight.

Brian took a quick look around and decided it was sufficiently deserted and what wasn't was concentrated on the bank. He cupped Justin's chin in one soft, supple glove and kissed him hot, hard and fast. Then he grabbed him bodily and dropped him off by the side of the horse. It was over and done by the time Justin could blink but it was done and when Justin finally comprehended what had happened he was spitting mad.

"Brian!! What the HELL do you think you're doing!?"

"Kissing my boyfriend goodbye before he heads off into a potentially perilous situation?" Brian pretended to guess.

"In public?"

"Oh yeeeeaaahhhh....about that....well, here's the thing. I kinda let it slip to Stockwell that were both gay and it seems everyone else knows there's something up so I just figured....what the hell? So...yeah...welcome to life outside the closet!"

Justin was paralyzed with rage. "Brian! How dare you! You had no right! And to our worst enemy to boot! You should have talked to me first!"

"I didn't plan it!" Brian said irritably, "It just happened! Look, I'll explain later, OK!? Right now, we both have jobs to do! I have to foil this robbery and you need to get the kids out of the schoolhouse and to safety!"

"Fine! But mark my words, mister! This discussion is NOT over!"

Brian saluted smartly and moreover tipped his hat sharply with his fingertips to convey that he understood. Justin was left feeling conflictingly angry at what he had done and horny at the erotic military display.

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Ted's Office...

Ted's whole tied up body slumped in defeat. "OK...OK...I'll tell you! Just don't hurt him! Or anybody else. They're innocent and can't help you! The vault is under my dominion alone."

Mr. X tapped Emmett's temple with the muzzle of the gun. "I'm waaaii - tiiing," he singsonged.

"Fine! The combination to the vault is 69 L...96 R...69 L. And the key is taped to the underside of my middle drawer on the left side."

"Boys! Check it out!"

One thug rushed to the vault and the other to the desk where he pulled out the drawer and scattered the contents all over the floor. He turned it over and found the key.

"D'uhhhhh!!! Found it Boss!" the thug bragged.

Ted looked over the mess in disdain. "Classy," he remarked sarcastically. "OK! OK! You got what you wanted!! Now let him go!"

"What was that? I couldn't quite hear! Did you say: I want company while I sit here being bait for a rather large Mountie! Is that what you said? You heard him boys!" He shoved Emmett forward. "Get the extra rope and TIE HIM UP!!"

TBC