LINDSAY

Cleaning the house is one of those tasks that makes me think, 'why didn’t I run off with Sam or marry...' not going to finish that thought. I walk into the dining room and there Mel sits doing paperwork. That really pisses me off, I mean this is our house and why do I have to do all the work?  

“Mel what do you want to do about dinner?” I ask, hoping she will make it tonight.  

“Whatever you want to cook is fine.” She doesn’t even look up at me.  

“What about going out tonight?” I ask her.  

“Linds we can’t afford to go out all the time. We still haven’t figured out how we are going to get a new car.” She tells me.  

I know what she’s saying, but one night where I don’t have to do everything would be nice. I just walk away before I say anything that would cause a fight tonight. Jenny starts crying and I just sit there, hoping that she will go to her.

“Linds can you get Jenny?” she yells over the baby’s cries. Really? She can’t move her ass from the chair and take care of our child?  

“I have my hands full, you’ll have to do it” I yell back. She comes into the kitchen. I notice she can’t walk to Jenny in the living room.  

“Linds I have a lot of work to do. You know, the income that is paying for everything.” Mel says, treating me like one of her witnesses. I am just about to say something nasty back to her when there is a knock on the door.

Once again she walks past Jenny and answers the door. I give up I go to get Jenny, and she is just red from the crying. I look to the door and there is Michael, with three bags of groceries in his arms. “Hey, I wanted to cook dinner tonight but there’s been a change of plans. Instead of cooking at Brian’s I thought I could prepare it here and surprise everyone.” He is all smiles until he sees Jenny all red.

“What have you done to my honeybun?”

“Michael, she just woke up.” Mel states. “Why do you want to cook dinner tonight? You don’t even know how to cook.”

“I know. But I bought all the ingredients and thought I would watch my children while Linds handles the dinner.” Michael smiles at me like he is giving me a gift. Wait, did he just say children? I look at Mel and she is just staring at Michael. “Michael you can visit with Jenny for a while, but we wanted to have a quiet evening.” Mel tells him. At least she didn’t say I would cook.

“Look, Brian and I have something to discuss with you and Linds so I thought it would be nice to have dinner and discuss our children.” There he goes with saying ‘children’ again.

“Michael, what would you and Brian need to discuss with Mel and I?” I ask him.

“Well, Brian and I are working on a relationship as soon as Justin moves out, and I think that we should get partial custody of the children. I mean they are just as much ours as they are yours.” He says this like everyone would just be happy with the announcement.  

Then I realize that he said relationship and Brian. NO. NO. NO. NO. This is not happening. If Brian was to go to someone else… I should be not finishing that sentence.

“WHAT?” Mel yells, scaring Jenny “Brian will not be raising my child. It’s bad enough I have to deal with him because of Gus. But no, this will not happen.”

“You better be prepared for a battle then. I will make sure that Brian gets the best attorney, so that we win full custody.” Michael yells at us. At this point I want to shove Michael into oncoming traffic.

“Michael, you need to leave.” Mel says. Michael throws the bags on the floor and storms out.  

“What the hell is going on Linds?” Mel asks, shaking her head. But at this point I haven’t been able to get past Brian being in a relationship with Michael.

MEL

Linds is standing there like a statue, and I figure that I need to talk to the source of this problem. Dialing Brian I wait until I hear him pick up before I start yelling, “Brian what the hell is Michael talking about? He came her talking about you two taking the children. Cause Asshole, I will fight you on this.”

“Mel, if I kill someone, or say Jen does, can we get justifiable homicide?” That is not the answer I was expecting to hear.

“Brian, why would you or Jen be killing someone?” I ask, since Michael’s crazy announcement, I figure I'll just wait for whatever is going to come out of Brian’s mouth.

“Here is my day in a nutshell. Michael is running around town saying Ben is cheating and that he and I are in a relationship. Deb decided it is somehow my fault that Mikey thinks that we entered into a relationship. Then Michael proceeds to tell me how he knew better, because I love him and not Justin. Oh, and he goes on to tell Ted, Emmett, and Justin that he scored with me. Justin, in a princess moment, flashes Ted. And Ted can’t seem to look at him without saying something about dead puppies and kittens, but I think he’s over that now. I walk in my loft to find Em rambling about dinner and naked Justin, and find Justin with a purple handprint on his face and then Jen shows up. To top it off, I find out that Deb hit Justin. So that is my day. Can you top that?” He says all of this in that very calm voice he uses when you know someone is going to wish that they never met him.

“Brian do not touch her, you will go to jail. I am on my way, you stay away from her.” I hope I can get there before anything happens.

“What was that?” Lindsay asks.

“Hopefully, just Brian blowing off steam. If we don’t stop him, Deb might not survive today.” I tell her.

We round up the kids and I call Em to see if he can take them for us. Em tells me he is at the loft with Justin and Ted. We get in the car and head over, trying to make it there fast. Justin is there on the sidewalk and Em takes the kids upstairs. Ted and Justin jump in the car with us.

“Oh my God Baby, what happened to your face?” I ask him.

“Well since Mikey has lost his mind, we have been trying to reason with Deb. She thinks that Brian has led Mikey astray. I sort of said she was nuts, and she swung.” I tell Mel.

“Mel drive faster.” Linds says.

DEBBIE

Kiki just walked in and I tell her I have to go talk to Justin. She gives me a look that says she knows.

“Deb you better hope Brian doesn’t show up, because we know what is going to happen if he does.” Kiki tells me.  

I am ashamed of myself. I know better that to hit Justin, but he needs to get his head out of his ass about Brian.

“I know. I called Jen and she hung up before I could explain what Brian did to cause all of this.” I tell her.

“Deb, you hit Justin, not Brian. Are you listening to me, YOU. By the way, you need to get your son under control. He is running all over town telling everyone that he and Brian are getting married and taking custody of the children.” Kiki has to be crazy, my baby wouldn’t do that.

“Kiki, Brian has Michael thinking these things. You know Michael, he is just an innocent bystander to the Stud of Liberty Avenue.” When I say this, Kiki just shakes her head.

“Deb, your son is losing it and you need to open your eyes. The only person Brian is after is Justin.” Kiki really needs to see the truth.  

“This is Ben and Brian’s fault. I have to go so I can try to fix this.” I leave the back and go out the front door.

I see Brian and Jen walking towards me and I decide that I need to clear the air with Jen.  

“Jen, I am so sorry about Justin, but you know if Brian hadn’t turned Michael’s head none of this would have happened.”

BRIAN

I did plan on yelling and possibly breaking some things. I also planned on telling Deb that until she could show better sense than this, she was not to come near Justin or me. The whole drive over I couldn’t get that mark on Justin’s face off my mind. Another thing I was mad about was Justin trying to defend Deb. As of right now, we are at the police station. So, just as I was about to yell back at Deb, I see high heels go flying and Jen running toward Deb. I like a good fight, but I had to wonder if Jen could win this. Deb holds up her hand to block the shoes, but misses the punch that came at her face.  

“Fuck you Deb. I don’t care if Brian fucked the President at Pride, you do not hit my son.” Jen yelled. Now I really wished that she could have said Johnny Depp or Patrick Swayze. But not Bush, never Bush. But I digress.

“You need to worry about your idiot son, not mine” Jen says.  

I knew what was coming next and would have stopped it if I thought I could. Deb’s hand swings and hits Jen. Then Jen grabs the wig and yanks it off along with some of Deb’s hair. That had to hurt. Deb starts pushing and slapping at Jen, then Jen pushes Deb they start to move towards the street.  

Everyone starts crowding around them as they kick, punch, and slap each other.  At this point I figure it's time to stop them, but no, here comes Ben. Ben, being all Zen, tries to pull them apart and they just circle around him after each other until Deb realizes that it’s Ben, so she slaps him. Now, to say that all of us are stunned would be an understatement.  

Deb is yelling at Ben that he should have kept his dick in his pants and none of this would have happened. Okay, so according to Deb, Ben is now responsible for Justin getting hit. Deb really should have been paying attention, because Jen now has Debbie by the hair and is screaming,

“You hit my son Deb so you are responsible. Look at your child. He’s an idiot, who for some reason believes that anybody could want him.” Debbie is trying to get at Jen but Jen has game.  

“Michael isn’t the problem, his friends are.” Deb screams back. Okay we know that Mikey can’t do any wrong but she really needs to think, because at this point everyone except Emmett and Michael are here. She isn’t going to win any favor from us.  

At that, Jen shoves Deb toward Ben, who catches her. I know I need to stop this, but well, this is worse than what I would have done. As they try to reach each other again, Ted and Mel grab Jen, who is still kicking at Deb, and Ben has Deb. We hear the sirens so everyone gets a little distracted at that. Justin tries to pass me, I grab him and tell him no. Jen sees him and pushes for all she is worth and jumps on Deb again.

So the police get there just in time to see the two of them scratching at each other and try to separate them. Deb isn’t paying attention, and hits the cop, and Jen hits Deb. That is how we are now all at the police station. I look at Carl who is looking at Justin’s face.

“Is this how it started?” he asks me. I just nod.  

So I explain what has been happening to Carl, and he just sits there in silence.  

“Justin do you want to press charges?” Carl asks.  

“Of course not. Carl she didn’t even realize she did it.” Justin is still trying to fix this. But as far as I am concerned Deb can sit in jail and explain to her PFLAG group how she hit Justin.

CARL

When I got the call from the station that Deb was here I hurried in, hoping she was okay. Right now I just can’t figure out what she was thinking. I saw both the girls in separate cells both staring at each other like they would have continued the fight if they could get to each other.

I talk to the arresting officer, who now has his own bruise, and just don’t know where to go from here. When Brian gives me the low down on Michael, I just give up.

“Are you going to bail your mother out Justin?” I ask.

“I am” Brian answers. “If she hadn’t gotten to Deb first, I probably would be in there.” Brian gets up and goes to pay Jen’s bail.  

“Justin, I'm going to leave Deb in here till I get off so that you have time to handle this.” I tell him. Justin quietly says thank you and goes over to Brian.  

I love Deb, but she needs to learn that she can't do these things. Michael is 34 years old and she is still acting like he is 5. I need to find him and get him contained.  

MEL

When we got to the diner it was on. I think Linds, Ted, and I were all in shock. I mean I love Deb, but even she needs to see Michael is losing it. I have to give it to Jen though, I never saw her as scrappy. I guess WASP’s can fight.  

At the police station I go with Brian and see what I can do to help.  Brian is posting Jen’s bail and I ask if he is going to help Deb. Brian gives me the ‘are you crazy?’ look and continues to sign the papers. Tucker walks up to wait for Jen.  

Jen looks like a tornado hit her but she is all smiles and thanking the cops in the station for their help. Brian is rolling his eyes and muttering WASP. Justin elbows him and walks over to his mother. She sees him and realizes that his face is worse than it was before and starts to turn toward the cell Debbie is in. Tucker grabs her, putting both his arms around her to haul her out.  

I go to Carl and he tells me to go home and that he will deal with Deb. I walk over to Linds and tell her we are going to get the kids and talk to Brian.

BRIAN

Before we go, I ask to speak to Deb. She is looking at me about to open her mouth when I hold up my hand to stop her. “Deb I have always loved the way you care about all of us. I have always held a lot of respect for how you took care of Vic and Mikey while working all kinds of hours under the sun. Today is the first time in my life that I could compare what you did to Jack, and I hate you for that. I don’t want you to talk to Justin for a while, because through all this he has defended you, and you threw that in his face when you didn’t just shut up.” With that I walk away, I know I am going to forgive her eventually, but not today.