We cannot seek or attain health, wealth, learning, justice or kindness in general. Action is always specific, concrete, individualized, unique. ~ Benjamin Jowett

*****

Monday, February 14, 2005

Brian twisted Justin's nipples between his fingers, pulling on them hard, feeling the blond's ass contract around his cock each time he pinched them.

Justin leaned back, forcing Brian to stop the torture to his chest as he reached behind him and placed his hands on Brian's thighs. He pivoted his pelvis forward and back, forcing the thick cock deeper inside him. He flexed his muscles for a beat around Brian's dick on each glide in before allowing it to slide slowly out of his body, the crown catching around the rim of his hole, driving the man before him crazy. 

Brian bent forward, wrapping his arms around Justin's back, his fingers digging in between the boy's ribs, using them to hang onto as the blond started moving furiously in his lap. Justin was the definition of ‘power bottom'. Every move he made gradually pulled Brian toward orgasm. Though he knew that Justin was a professional, he knew that he didn't put as much effort into other fucks with customers as he did each time he fucked him. Hell, Brian was sure there was more effort in one of Justin's kisses. Justin was there with him, in ways Brian didn't want to dissect the full meaning of to both himself and the blond.

Justin's thighs and abs ached, but he couldn't stop moving, driving the passion on. His muscles, wound so tight from repetitive exertion, working like springs, bouncing his body up and down on instinct. He craved the pressure upon his prostate, he tingled with the pain and pleasure of the stretch and burn sizzling through his body. Each time Brian would nibble at a spot on his skin, he felt overwhelmed with the need to get to the place where he could make it stop, but still craved more and never wanted it to end. He was a mass of conflicting emotions and pleasures, barely keeping it together. Justin almost passed out when Brian's swiftly moving fist squeezed the tip of his cock so deliciously that his heart momentarily stopped beating as he came.

Brian bit Justin's shoulder as his climax took possession of him. He held Justin so tightly that the blond's dick, overcome by friction and then restriction, spurted against their skin. Besides soft groans, it seemed to be almost silent when they came, too overpowering to allow for any words. 

When he could manage, Brian moved them both to their sides, holding onto the condom and pulling himself out of Justin's ass. He threw the condom haphazardly to the floor and turned onto his back, the sweat on his skin instantly cooling and making him shiver. He grabbed Justin and pulled him close; it was cold and he didn't appreciate the separation between their bodies. Yes, that perfect excuse allowed Brian the contact with the blond after their sex, saving him from freaking out about the unexplainable need he felt to touch Justin.

Justin rubbed his face against Brian's and peppered soft kisses along his forehead, tasting the salty sweat on his skin. He felt elated, an emotion he was rarely familiar with, but he yearned to express it. No matter how tired he was, or how afraid he was, he needed more of Brian and he just couldn't stop kissing him.

Brian ached inside from every kiss Justin placed against his skin. His hands skimmed up Justin's back, over his shoulders, along his neck, cupping his head in his hands. He stared at him, looking for something visible that could explain the rush he felt from being with the blond. Justin's face still appeared flushed, his eyes heavy-lidded and his mouth hung open, breathing hot breaths against his face.

"What?" Justin asked while shifting his body around, brushing their stiffening cocks against each other. "You want more?" he asked, feeling the urgent tingle race up his spine.

Brian couldn't answer the blond. Yes, he wanted more, but there was a different sense of gravity to the meaning of ‘more' that he wanted. He pulled Justin's head close to his, resting their foreheads together and cocked his head a little to the side, staring into Justin's blue eyes. Brian opened his mouth and let out a long breath, feeding it into Justin's mouth, causing the blond to gasp one into his. A split-second later, Brian kissed him so slowly that it left him breathless when he pulled away minutes later.

Brian stunned Justin, so much so that Justin didn't realize Brian had gently rolled out from under him and headed into the bathroom until he heard the shower turn on.

*****

"You look..." Brian paused and circled Justin, finger tapping his lips as he tried to come up with the appropriate word.

"Laughable?" Justin asked, pulling at the sleeves of his tuxedo.

"No," Brian said. "You look older."

"I'm not sure if that's a compliment," Justin huffed, looking at Brian. "Is it?"

"You look beautiful," Brian informed the blond. The second the words were out of his mouth, he felt his stomach churn.

"What's that face for?" Justin asked, looking at Brian in the mirror.

Brian looked into the mirror and quickly smiled, he hadn't even realized that he had a sick looking expression on his face. "Nothing," he responded, still feeling his stomach turn.

"You don't normally tell anyone they look beautiful," Justin observed. "Do you?"

Brian turned away and walked into the bedroom. The little shit had a way of assessing his inner thoughts and it irked the fuck out of him! "I don't make a habit of celebrating Valentine's Day either," he called, grabbing the small velvet bag from his suitcase.

"I figured." Justin smirked at himself in the mirror and gasped in surprise when Brian came up behind him with what appeared to be a present for him, dangling from two of his fingers.

"Here," Brian offered.

"You got me something?" Justin asked curiously, not yet taking the item from him.

"Yeah, cause..." Brian stammered. "I just...ah fuck!"

Justin laughed in amusement. "Does giving presents usually make you cuss and stutter?" he teased.

"Ha ha," Brian barked. "Listen, I hate lying," he explained. "This game we have going on isn't something I'd ever consider going along with, if it wasn't necessary. It's not just about the money I could lose if Lewis found out I lied to him. He could ruin my reputation and my business. I'm sure you've guessed that I've had to work damn hard to have my own firm at my young age. I worked my ass off to make it happen and practically gave my life to get it to where it is now. It's the best independent agency on the East Coast."

"I didn't know it was your own firm," Justin said in surprise.

"Well, I have two shareholders as partners, but Kinnetik is mine. I built it from the ground up. Randall Lewis knows what I've invested in it and he knows every one of my clients, most of them personally. This was another reason why he considered a meeting with me. He's an intensely loyal and kind man, but I have also heard horror stories. If he wanted to he could very well find a way to destroy my agency, if I pissed him off."

"If he found out you're lying about us..." Justin let the consequence hang between them.

"I don't apologize for who I am and obviously I made a fucking stupid move lying in the first place. I know you're an honest man, Justin; you told me so the first night and now that I know what you fucking went through, asking you to lie and paying you to lie will be something I already regret, however necessary it is." Brian rubbed the tension in his neck and handed Justin the bag. "So, open that," he requested.

After Brian's big speech, Justin was a little more than apprehensive about what was inside. He slowly drew out a black box and opened it. "Wow!" he gasped. "This is a beautiful watch, Brian."

"I picked this up for myself when I went shopping for your clothes. I know that if we see the Lewises they'll ask you what I gave you for Valentine's Day and I don't want you to have to lie about it. This is real."

Justin ran his fingers over the smooth silver clasp and looked up at Brian in amazement. "Do I have to give this back to you?" he asked, before he got too excited.

Brian laughed. "No. You can keep it, on one condition."

Justin grinned. "What's that?"

"Throw away that piece of crap generic Timex; by the way, I had no idea they sold generic Timex watches," Brian spoke, appalled. "I'm not an Indian giver, Justin. It's yours, put it on."

"Thank you!" Justin flashed Brian a grateful smile and held his wrist out so that the man could close the clasp of the watch for him. "Before you say anything," he sighed, "I won't sell it."

"I didn't think you would," Brian told him. "Of course, if you really need to..."

Justin stopped Brian's words with a quick kiss, then raced into the bedroom and retrieved one of the gift bags he'd gotten for Brian. "Here," he said excitedly, practically bouncing in his new black Italian loafers.

Brian couldn't recall the last time someone looked so excited to give him anything. Usually at Christmas or on his birthday, his friends got him some silly sex toys, condoms or lube. On Father's Day, ‘Gus' bought him the customary tie, which Brian would wear even if it wasn't silk. He never had someone actually giggle as he opened his gift. Justin's happiness was infectious and Brian was smiling before he opened the long, rectangular box. When he saw what was inside, he could barely hold in his exhilaration. "Thank you, Justin," he spoke genuinely. "It's beautiful!"

"You like it then?" Justin asked.

Brian draped the silk scarf around his neck and grabbed the blond into his arms. "It's perfect," he spoke, just before claiming Justin's perfect mouth.

*****

Brian stood up from table and held out his hand to Mrs. Lewis. "It's wonderful to meet you."

"It's wonderful to meet you too, Brian," the woman spoke, shaking the offered hand. "Justin says you're a wonderful partner. You must be so glad you found him."

Brian smiled as he took his seat once again and reached for Justin's hand. "Justin deserves better than me," he told her. "But, I'm glad he found me."

"Do you mind if we join you for dessert?" Randall asked. "I had to beg Irene to wait until you two were finished with your main course."

"Of course you can join us," Brian replied gesturing to the two free chairs at their table.

"Have you two had a pleasant evening?" Justin asked.

"Oh yes," Irene giggled. "Randall has been a true sweetheart." She held her good arm out for Justin and Brian while wiggling her wrist. "He surprised me with a new tennis bracelet."

"It's beautiful," Justin commented.

"Don't get any ideas," Brian joked. "We're not married yet, so you're not getting diamonds or any stone for that matter until then. You'll have to be content with the watch I bought you."

Justin smirked at Brian. "Oh, I am," he said lovingly, showing the timepiece to the Lewises. He couldn't believe how easily the brunet fell into the role of a devoted partner; it eased his way into it as well. It's not that Justin didn't think that Brian would no doubt make a good partner; it's just that with what he knew of Brian's lifestyle, he thought it would take a little more time for him to be acquainted with all the duties of husband and the familiarities between partners.

"Justin has wonderful taste," Randall told Brian while tapping the watch on his wrist. "Irene said that he helped her pick this out for me," he spoke proudly.

Brian turned and saw Justin blushing crimson all over his dimpled cheeks. He really wanted to refute that claim and tell the man that Justin's tastes in watches weren't anything to write home about, and had to stop himself from laughing. Once again, he'd managed to forget the reason why Justin did not have nice things; when he did recall the reason, pangs of guilt and empathy echoed around his heart.

"I had a lot of fun shopping with you, Mrs. Lewis," Justin told her, hoping to shift the conversation away from him.

"Oh darling, you know you can call me Irene," she reminded the young man. "We're friends now and this isn't the Victorian era."

"No, it definitely isn't," Justin agreed still blushing as he smiled at the woman's warm attitude.

Secretly enjoying Justin's blushing, Brian decided to add his own praise. "Justin gave this to me today." He touched his scarf, bringing the couple's attention to it. "He does have exquisite taste."

"I chose you, didn't I?" Justin replied, giving Brian a peck on his cheek for looks. He was sure Brian only half meant his compliment, but he enjoyed it just the same.

"It's a good thing you did." Brian turned Justin's face to his and kissed him again.

"Young love," Irene sighed. "There's nothing like it."

Brian and Justin broke their kiss and forced themselves not to roll their eyes at the woman's statement.

"Oh we're not that old," Randall teased his wife. "In fact, I'd say love only gets better with time."

"Oh, here's our dessert," Mrs. Lewis exclaimed excitedly as the waiter brought over two plates and placed them in the middle of each couple's setting.

Brian could barely offer a thank you to the waiter as he left; he was too busy choking on the vomit that wanted to show itself when he realized that he was expected to share the White Chocolate-Raspberry heart shaped cheesecake with Justin. Of course, he didn't mind sharing food with the blond; it was the obviously implied romanticism that gave him instant heartburn.

"Go on, Brian," Randall encouraged as he took a forkful and held it to his wife's lips, "give your fiancé a bite."

This is what Brian expected from the moment the waiter placed the cheesy, no pun intended, dessert in front of them. Giving Justin a taste of his food was completely different than playing at romance, armed with a fork and chocolate.

Justin laughed to himself as he picked up the fork and grabbed a piece of the confection. "Here, baby," he teased, circling it in front of Brian's mouth.

Brian closed, then rolled his eyes and opened his mouth. He was going to get the blond back for that term of endearment. Didn't Justin know that he was already two seconds away from fleeing to the bathroom and losing his... Oh, damn! The sweet confection exploded over his tongue and Brian opened his eyes in surprise.

"Is it good?" Justin asked, getting a hard on from watching Brian's tongue come out and lick his lips.

"Delicious," Brian admitted, relaxing and grabbing the fork from his partner in crime.

"Mmmm.... Randall, thank you," Irene gasped in pleasure at her next bite.

Justin moaned none too delicately as he tasted the cheesecake. It was much better than what he'd thought it would be. He usually didn't care for such a thick, rich dessert, but the sweet tartness of the raspberry combined with the white chocolate was perfect.

Brian didn't give Justin back the fork when it was his turn for a bite. Instead, he'd realized that Justin's moaning seemed to drown out the other couple's disgusting chattering and gasps. He continued to feed it to the blond, keeping his attention solely on him until the dessert was finished.

"You let me eat it all?" Justin questioned as he saw Brian place the fork on the empty plate.

"That's true love," Irene commented, smiling at the couple.

Brian shrugged. "Unlike me, Justin can practically eat anything he wants and still maintain his perfectly gorgeous physique."

Justin looked away from Brian and quietly spoke to the others, "Excuse me, please. I need to use the restroom."

Brian kissed the blond's chocolate tasting lips before he walked away. His eyes followed the younger man's stellar ass through the restaurant until he disappeared around a corner.

"You have it bad," Randall laughed.

"Well I'd hope so," Irene added. "He's getting married to him."

The waiter came and took the dessert away, refilled their wine glasses and informed them that the dance floor would be opening in a few minutes.

"We're going to dance to ‘our' song," the woman told Brian. "It's a tradition every Valentine's Day."

"That's nice," Brian commented, having no idea what else to say.

"What's your and Justin's song?" Randall inquired.

Brian cringed. "We don't have one," he replied, knowing there was no way he could choose one that would satisfy them.

"You don't?" the Lewises asked in unison, their faces making horrified expressions.

Brian floundered for a good excuse but couldn't come up with anything that would actually sound good. "We don't exactly like the same type of music," he deadpanned.

"Compromise then," Irene advised. "You have to share a special song with one another. Compromise is what makes a healthy marriage, Brian."

"I'm going to talk to Freddy and ask him to play our song, sweetheart," Randall said, rising from the table. He whispered to Irene, "I'll pick them out a song."

Brian had heard the stage whisper and counted off another reason to hate relationships, to loathe the idea of love and never celebrate Valentine's Day ever again; not that he was celebrating it now. No, Brian was being forced to participate in a game.

Justin returned to the table a moment later as other couples in the restaurant began to flood onto the dance floor. "Did I miss something?" he asked, noticing Brian's look of despair that he cast his way.

Irene laughed. "Nothing at all, Sweetie. I don't suppose I could get you on the dance floor, could I?"

"Me?" Justin gasped. "What about Mr. Lewis?"

"He's gone to have the DJ play our song," she explained. "I'd like to warm myself up a bit first."

Justin looked at Brian and hoped the man would save him but Brian gave him an amused grin. "Go on, I'll join you, save you in a few minutes."

Justin reluctantly stood, but did his best not to show his dissatisfaction when he walked over to Irene and took her hand. "May I have this dance?" he asked kindly.

Irene blushed and walked happily with Justin onto the dance floor. Brian laughed quietly to himself as he watched Justin begin to dance.

"He's a good dancer," Randall commented, joining Brian at the table a few minutes later.

Brian nodded, still watching the blond dance. He hoped that his face didn't show his surprise, as he was sure that it was probably something he should know about his fiancé. Justin had good rhythm, this he knew, but Brian never imagined that he actually knew how to waltz.

"Brian, I have something to confess," the older man spoke mysteriously.

"What would that be, sir?" Brian said politely, keeping one eye on Justin.

Randall laughed. "You really are taken with him, aren't you?"

"Of course," Brian replied, turning to face Randall completely. "I'm marrying him." Brian was pleased when he got through speaking that line without puking his guts up.

"Justin told me that he cheated on you," the man revealed. "I suppose you forgave him."

Brian was glad he wasn't sipping his wine; otherwise, he would've spit it all over the man. "What?"

"He admitted that he wandered but that you went after him, you proposed to him on Christmas. That takes balls, Brian. I admire you for that. You must've really loved him to forgive him and take him back and want to start a life with him."

Brian steamed inside. He couldn't believe that Justin told the man that lie and he wondered why in the fuck the blond had felt the need to tell Randall about it. "I...I..." Brian couldn't think of what the fuck to say. He wouldn't ever go after any man! "I can't believe he would tell you about that."

"I appreciate his honesty," Randall said, placing his hand on Brian's arm. "I also appreciate that he trusted me enough to tell me. I don't think any less of you, Brian. In fact, I think it takes courage to put your heart on the line for him. I can't wait to see the two of you get married."

"Wh...what?" Brian gasped, knowing he sounded like a bumbling fool but was unable to stop himself.

"Well, I guess I shouldn't assume you'll invite Irene and me. However, I make it a point to attend all of my employee's weddings. I consider everyone connected with the Lewis name as family and we treat one another as such. This is one of the reasons my business is so successful. In fact, I was just in Pittsburgh last week to attend three different weddings. Seems love is in the water there or something."

"You were in Pittsburgh?" Brian asked. He wished he'd known the man was in his city, he never would've had to come to Chicago. He silently damned himself.

"Yes," Randall replied. "It's still under negotiations but I'm acquiring the old Hector Hotel and the mall across the street. Many of my employees from this hotel will be moving out there. I'll probably be in Pittsburgh a lot over the next year. That would work well for us, that is, if I decided to sign with Kinnetik; we'd be able to work closely together."

"That would be great," Brian replied. However, he was afraid of the man invading his city and possibly finding out that he was not with Justin.

"The thing is, Brian," the man started. "I want to feel like we are family. If you were to invite Irene and me to your wedding and let me into that part of your life, it would really show your commitment to becoming a part of the Lewis Enterprises family. Otherwise, I don't think that we'll be doing business. If you feel as though you don't want to have the same kind of relationship I share with the rest of my employees, I just don't think I could trust you with what is essentially my life."

Brian put his hands under the table and gripped his thighs, trying to quell his frustration. He let out a deep breath. "So, you're saying that unless Justin and I invite you to our wedding, you will not sign with Kinnetik?"

"I don't think that's asking too much, Brian," Randall affirmed. "Is there a problem?"

A HUGE fucking problem, Brian thought. He recalled that morning's news report and hoped it would save him, or at least buy him some time. "Mr. Lewis..."

"Randall, please call me Randall, Brian," the man interrupted.

"Randall," Brian spoke quietly. "I didn't want to ruin Valentine's Day for Justin, so I haven't told him yet, but we were supposed to be married at this small church on 5th, they do small ceremonies there no matter the denomination of the couple. Well they called me while he was downstairs this morning and told me that their pipes burst and the entire church is flooded. There isn't any way we're going to be getting married on his birthday. We're going to have to set the date back."

"Nonsense," Randall replied smugly. "You two will have it here in the Banquet hall. I can have the wedding coordinator meet with both of you tomorrow afternoon."

Brian looked down at the table and saw the butter knife still sitting there. He wanted to pick it up and slash his wrists. "I couldn't do that," he spoke, trying to sound kind. "You see, Justin hasn't ever met my family, they aren't exactly the most supportive of me in the relationship department," he explained. "So the wedding was just going to be the two of us and our witnesses. There's no need to have a large wedding."

Randall's eyebrows knit together. "Justin hasn't met your family?" he gasped.

Brian took a large drink of his wine and thought of a reply. "They wouldn't approve of him, for various reasons. I love Justin and I don't want or need their approval. I've almost lost him once; I don't need them to run him off."

"But what about your son?" Randall asked. "Don't you think he should meet him?"

"How did you know I..." Brian trailed off; the man had done his research. "My son's mother doesn't exactly support my decisions. I didn't used to be the kind of guy that would be devoted to any man and I don't think they'll ever think I am." He couldn't believe how easily the lies were coming out of his mouth. He hadn't bullshitted such a big story in his entire life!

"Well maybe if you invite them to your wedding, if they see what I see every time you look at Justin, they'll respect your decision," Mr. Lewis suggested.

"I don't think it'll be that easy," Brian said, knowing how wrong the man was at gauging how he ‘looked' at the blond. "Besides, I don't think they'll be able to afford a trip out here on such short notice." He begged God that Randall would accept his answer.

"I'm more than happy to foot the bill for any of your family that can make it. That includes travel, Brian. I'm sure that Justin would much rather go back with you to Pittsburgh knowing your family and friends support your relationship enough to come to your wedding, rather than showing up as a stranger in their town."

Brian thought of his next words carefully. He knew that if he refused, if he didn't marry the blond, or at least pretend to, he could kiss Lewis Enterprises and his business goodbye. He couldn't think with the man staring at him. His palms were sweating and he'd never been so nervous in his life. "I get your point," he said finally. "But I'll have to speak to Justin about it. Can I let you know what we decide tomorrow?"

"Of course, Brian," Randall replied. "Are you going to be able to meet with me at three o'clock tomorrow?"

"Definitely," Brian answered.

"Then you can let me know what you've decided with your wedding before the meeting." Randall looked over at his wife and stood from his chair. "Come on, let's go dance with our partners."