A Captivating Coupling

Chapter Fifteen: Mending

Forgiveness is the needle that knows how to mend ~ Jewel

Saturday, April 14, 1999

Jennifer ushered Craig inside her apartment. “What’s all that?”

Craig looked around the room, hoping to spot Molly somewhere. “I brought Molly some gifts.”

Jennifer looked at her husband worriedly. “Why?”

“Because I didn’t get to see her open the ones she got for her birthday,” Craig replied.

Jennifer huffed. “I did invite you.”

Craig nodded and felt a painful ache inside of him grow. “I know, I’m sorry.”

Jennifer took pity on him. “She was only one, so she couldn’t really open them anyway.”

“Did she sleep through her whole party?” Craig implored. Justin had slept through his first birthday party.

Jennifer gave Craig a warm understanding smile. “Only half of it. She waited to dig into the cake first. Besides, it wasn’t much of a party, just my parents, sister and her family.”

“I wish I could’ve been here.” Craig looked around the living room. “Where is she?”

“In her room, napping.”

“Oh,” Craig’s face fell. “Well I guess I’ll just leave this stuff here and you can tell her it was from me.”

“When you called to say you’d be stopping by I thought you had news on Justin.”

“I don’t. I mean nothing you haven’t already heard.”

Jennifer stopped Craig from turning back toward the door. “Have you had lunch?”

“N…n…no, I haven’t.”

“Well I’m making egg salad sandwiches.”

“My favorite?”

“Well you did call to say you were coming.”

Craig wasn’t sure he could fall in love again with a woman he’d loved for half of his life, but he did that moment. “I’d love to stay.”

“Good, maybe then you could help me in the bathroom. Our toilet is doing that weird draining thing that happened in the guest bath at our house.”

Craig nodded, recalling the problem. He smiled as the words ‘our house’ clicked in his brain. “Yeah, I’ll take a look.”

Jennifer walked into the kitchen, looking over her shoulder she saw Craig following her, his eyes warm and appreciative like she hadn’t seen in years.

***

Craig flushed the toilet and watched as the blue water swirled around the bowl before it went down the drain. “It’s fine now. Just be careful of those tablets. If you put another one in while there’s still some left of the other one it’ll clog the valve.”

“I’ll remember that,” Jennifer promised. “Thanks for fixing it.”

“Anytime. Do you have anything else you need help with?”

“Mama! Mama!” Molly’s voice called over the baby monitor.

“I’ll make you a list,” Jennifer joked. “Come on, you can change Molly.”

Craig didn’t mind a list but he wasn’t too fond of changing diapers. His fingers were just too clumsy to ever get the tabs right. However, he had yet to change one of Molly’s diapers so he figured he owed Jennifer at least one diaper change, not to mention a million other things.

***

“You didn’t tell me she could walk so well,” Craig said, astonished. His wide-eyes remained fixed on his daughter as she ran from one toy box to the other.

“She just started being steady on her feet this week.” Jennifer laughed as Molly chose that moment to fall on her butt.

“Do you think she knows that I’m her dad?” Craig wondered in a sad tone.

“There’s more to being a dad than just providing the sperm.” Jennifer couldn’t help but speak this truth. Even though she and Craig had been getting along, she couldn’t allow him to just waltz in and declare himself Molly’s dad when he hadn’t done anything in over a year to show that he was her father.

Craig took the statement for what it was: the absolute truth. “Then I guess I should get started on the ‘more’ that it takes,” he replied.

Jennifer watched in surprise as Craig dropped to his knees, crawled over to Molly, and picked up a doll. She smiled to herself as he began to talk as if he were the doll and Molly started babbling back to him, all smiles. It wasn’t everything Molly needed from her father, but it was a start.

XXXXX

Moments in Captivity

Chapter 15: Moving Day

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”

Sunday, May 3, 1999

A second note of instructions came a few days after the first, telling us that the apartment would be cleared out on that coming Friday. Justin and I were to box up any immediate-need items or things we wanted to keep with us and place those containers in our bedroom. We have one container for personal items Justin and I want to keep like the camera, camcorder, video tapes, books and journals. Justin and I managed to put all of the clothes we wanted to keep in one. We have one for personal care products, which includes everything we’d need if Justin were to go into labor, just as a precaution even though he isn’t due yet. There are three containers for all the baby stuff filled with baby food, clothes, toys and blankets.

As instructed, Justin and I went into our bedroom with the babies and closed the door as soon as we heard them coming. It took two hours for them to get everything out and Justin and I were too scared to confront the guards to use the restroom even though he had to go. When we emerged from our bedroom, the place was barren. They’d taken everything and did it so quick that we know that there had to have been dozens of people helping. They took everything out of every closet, cabinet and room. It was good that Justin and I thought to keep some food and dishes in our bedroom or we’d have nothing to eat since Friday. We’ve been surviving on dry cereal, canned fruit, nuts, granola bars and water.

Beatha and Bevyn usually sleep about ten hours a night, waking once for a 2 a.m. feeding and sleeping until around eight in the morning. The last couple of days they have been waking up at six. They have been sleeping together in the pack and play we’ve placed beside our bed so we figure that one of them probably rolls onto the other and they wake each other up. That and the small pad in the bottom of the playpen can’t compare to how comfortable their crib mattresses are. Justin and I haven’t been sleeping much at all. Every hour or so one of us is waking up from nightmares or we just can’t get to sleep at all. We’re completely exhausted, which is the last thing Justin needs to be right now. I have no idea what’s going to happen today, but I suppose that in less than fifteen minutes we’re going to find that out.

“Did you hear that?” Justin whispers, tugging on my shirt sleeve.

I look out our bedroom door and still my breathing to see if I can hear what he thinks he heard. For the last hour, he’s been asking me that, but I never hear anything. He’s terrified of the unknown. I know what he went through the first days he was here alone so I know he’s afraid it will all happen again. I’m scared about what will happen to us to, but I’m petrified for Justin and our unborn baby’s safety. His blood pressure has skyrocketed the last two weeks and his stress level is off the charts. No calming words, hot bath or massage has helped him. I realize that I can’t show how nervous and worried I am or he will react to my feelings and be more strained than he is now.

“There it is again,” Justin insists, snuggling up with Duchess.

“It’s nothing,” I tell him after a minute. “Relax.”

Justin winces and rings his hands. “I can’t.”

“I know.” I pull him to sit beside me and feel my own stomach turn with nausea. “At least Beatha and Bevyn are asleep. Maybe they’ll sleep through all of it.”

“Maybe.” Justin runs his thumb over each of their cheeks; they don’t even stir at his touch.

Everything about fatherhood seems instinctual for him; he’s so gentle and patient. Sometimes I look at him while he’s with our children and I don’t see Justin I met. Then there are times when he’s so childlike that it leaves me to worry about his behavior for hours. If we are to go home, I wonder how Justin will act when we go home. Will he want to be a father and husband or will he want to recapture his lost youth?

“What?” Justin tilts my chin up so I can look in his eyes. “You’re thinking about something bad, I can tell.”

“They’ve never been in car seats. Do you think they’ll be okay in them for the drive?” I can’t tell him the truth.

“Of course. They sit in their bouncy seats and in their swings. This will just be a little different.”

It’s so weird to think that our children are so old and this is the first time they’ve been in car seats. We weren’t exactly sure we’d be going somewhere in a vehicle until they showed up a little while after the second note came. “Did any of those books you read ever say anything about babies getting car sick?” I ask.

Justin shakes his head and manages a small laugh. “People take their babies home from the hospital in the car all the time.”

“True.” I stop myself from reminding him that parents drive their children probably no more than an hour home from the hospital. We have no idea how long we’re going to be in the vehicle. We don’t even know if they’ll allow us to be with one another or Beatha and Bevyn.

“Give Duchess a kiss, I’m going to put her in the carrier now,” Justin tells me.

I put my face against Duchess and she purrs against me for a moment. “Be good, kitty.”

Duchess yawns and thankfully, she makes no fuss as Justin places her inside the carrier. The cat is so smart I’m sure she knows that Justin and I are so stressed out the last thing we need is her freaking out too.

“Did you hear that?” Justin asks, his words quivering. He shuts the cage door and scrambles over to me.

This time I did. “Yes,” I say. “Quick, put their blankets over the bar, I don’t want them waking up and the first thing they see are masked men.”

“Okay,” Justin whispers. He covers Bevyn’s purple blanket on top of the car seat bar, draping it over him while I do the same with Beatha’s red blanket.

“It’s going to be okay,” I tell Justin, moving to stand in front of him and the babies. I kiss his lips as we hear the front door swing open and loud voices booming around the empty space. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Justin says, barely holding himself back from crying. He grabs my hand tight and circles his arm around my waist, resting his shaking body against my back.

***

As instructed, Brian and Justin followed the masked guards down the hallway. There were six of them. Two stood in front of Brian, one in between Brian and Justin and three behind Justin. They all wore matching black pants, shirts, gloves, face masks and dark sunglasses so that the only difference between them was their height, build and small white badges sewn onto their shoulders, each having different numbers.

“Do not move.” The largest, Guard 12, growled, aiming his pistol at Brian.

Brian tried to remain as still as possible, looking down at the baby carrier and away from the men with the guns.

Guard 12 pointed down the hallway. “34 and 41, go retrieve the cat and their boxes and load them up.”

The two last guards behind Justin shouldered their machine guns and followed orders.

“In the corner,” Guard 12 barked. “Away from the door and face the wall.”

Justin quickly turned and followed the guard that had been behind him, over to the corner of the living room. Beatha’s seat was beginning to feel too heavy to carry but the last thing he wanted to do was let her go. He tried to look over at Brian, but the guard behind shoved the head of the gun into his back when he turned his head, warning him to stop his movements.

It felt like hours for Brian and Justin as they waited for their next instructions. They heard shuffling around, the doors opening and closing, as the guards removed the containers from the apartment.

“Okay. Line back up, over here in front of the door. I’m going to explain the rules. Look at me!”

Justin and Brian’s heads both snapped up.

“You will not make any sudden or quick movements. If your child starts to cry on the walk down, ignore it. You will stay in a single file line and listen carefully to all orders. If you disobey orders I will shoot you. Do you understand?”

Brian and Justin both nodded firmly.

“Good.” 12 opened the front door and then opened the outside door. “97, 25, take the children.”

“No…no…please!” Justin cried out. “D…don’t take them,” he begged, moving Beatha’s carrier as close to his body as he could.

“We can handle carrying them,” Brian pleaded

82, the guard in front of Justin turned to him and placed his pistol on Justin’s stomach. “Shut your fucking mouths, the both of you!” he screamed.

“Okay, okay,” Justin said, his whole body shaking in fear.

"Not so loud or you'll wake them," Brian begged.

“Take the gun away from his stomach, 82,” 25 said in a stern voice. The guard placed a hand on Justin’s back for a quick moment before the other guard removed the pistol from his belly. “I’ll take the baby. We’ll only have them for the walk down.”

Guard 97 who stood in front of Brian grabbed the carrier holding Bevyn away from Brian. “Don’t worry, you’ll get your brat back.”

Guard 34 came back through the door. “82, you’re needed at post D, 16 your position is at post G,” he informed before leaving.

12 took two pieces of cloth out of his pocket. “Do not fight me while I blindfold you, or I will shoot you,” he warned, closing in on Brian.

Brian stood perfectly still and closed his eyes. The guard roughly tied the black strip of fabric around his head. He heard the quick tying movements a few seconds later, indicating that they’d done the same to Justin. He relaxed as he felt Justin’s hand slip into his, comforting them both.

“You will be led out of here, listen to the instructions carefully so you do not get hurt.”

A guard took his elbow and positioned him in front of Brian. He then felt a leather-gloved hand grasp his own and pull him forward. He held tight to Brian’s hand and slowly navigated his footsteps to match that of the guard in front of him.

Brian and Justin walked slowly and carefully through what felt like a very long hallway. The shuffling of their footsteps and every word the guards spoke echoed around them. It took all the courage they both had to hold themselves together during the long walk. Many times Justin felt the baby inside of him actively move around in response to his rapidly beating heart and the stress Justin was sure the baby could feel.

“Stop!” Guard 12’s voice boomed.

Brian and Justin both froze their movements. The sound of a large door sliding open pierced their ears and a wave of a cool breeze brushed against their bodies. Brian shuffled closer to Justin and put his free arm around him. They stood together, luxuriating in the fresh air as the guards moved around them, preparing for their departure.

The taste, feel and love of having real air on their skin and in their lungs brought Brian and Justin to tears. It was May, they new that, but the air felt like a cool breeze to them. It floated around their bodies as the guards told them to move forward again. They sucked in as much air into their bodies as they could, making their breaths sound ragged and tired to their own ears.

“Step down,” 25 spoke, halting Justin. He took Justin’s arm to give him support. “There are two steps.”

Justin whimpered as his nostrils filled with a new smell and he heard a sound he hadn’t heard since he was a child. As he took his second step, his sneaker hit a small puddle of water and the splash was music to his ears. “It’s raining,” he gasped.

“Just a small drizzle,” 25 spoke softly. “The sun’s coming out.”

As the guard said it, leading Justin and Brian with him, they both suddenly felt the heat. The sun’s warmth felt amazing to their skin and they cried at the contact of tiny raindrops hitting their skin.

“Justin,” Brian spoke his lover’s name a breath of wonder. They were outside. They were breathing fresh air for the first time. The black cloth blindfolds were not thick enough to leave out the bright light and both strips were equally soaked from their tears.

“Stay quiet, fucker,” the guard behind Brian ordered. “Keep walking.”

Guard 25 squeezed Justin’s hand in his own. He knew he’d be going to hell for the part he was playing in the ruin of Justin’s life. Blackmail was the only excuse he had for doing what he was. Though he knew there was not much to justify it. He had to choose between seeing his own family murdered and ruining a boy’s life and he chose his family. He was one of many guards that were working as a means to keep their family alive. A few guards liked their jobs and took a sick pleasure in them. But he was definitely not one of them. He wished every day that he could do something to help them but he knew that the people he worked for had too many connections and they were too powerful to fight. “Stop,” he said and walked over to place the baby carrier beside the other.

“Where...where are my babies?” Justin asked the man as he felt him return to his place in front of him. He needed to be reassured of their safety.

Brian gulped and waited for the answer, cautiously walking behind Justin.

“We’ve placed them beside one another about a foot away from us. They are still sleeping in their seats,” Guard 25 answered quietly.

"Do...do they have their blankets draped over their car seats still?” Justin’s voice cracked as he asked the question.

“No,” 25 answered. “I can see their faces.”

“So…they can feel the air in their lungs? They can feel the sun on their faces?" He sobbed.

“Yes, they can,” 25 replied, his heart aching for Justin.

“Oh, Justin,” Brian broke down, squeezing Justin’s hand. “I wish I could see them.”

“Me too,” Justin rasped.

The sound of an ignition starting roared into Brian and Justin’s ears. A moment later, the vehicle stirred gassy fumes into the air. The smell, even though it was foul, was one both Brian and Justin reveled in smelling.

“They’re placing your children in the van now,” 25, informed.

“All right, get them loaded in too,” 12 ordered before hopping into the driver’s seat.

Justin dropped Brian's hand as 25 cautiously led him up two small steps into the van. He was maneuvered into his seat and then the guard sat beside him.

“Your little boy is beside you,” 25 informed in a whisper. “The little girl will be beside Brian.”

“Thank you,” Justin said softly. His hand immediately felt for the carrier and his fingers gently crept inside where he touched his warm baby boy's leg and then moved it up to grasp his small hand. “What about my cat?”

“It’s in the back, it’s safe,” 25 answered.

Justin’s nose cued into the smell of his cat and he faintly heard her meow.

Brian got into the van the same way. He could smell Justin's scent and knew he was in the seat in front of him. He could also hear Duchess’ purring somewhere behind him.

Guard 82’s sadistic voice spoke beside Brian. “Your brat’s beside you.”

Brian quelled his anger at the bastard and reached out to find Beatha’s hand. He felt shuffling behind him, heard hushed grunts, and figured more guards were sitting behind him. A moment later, he heard doors slam shut and the vehicle jerked as it pulled away.