A Captivating Coupling

Chapter Eighteen: Gaining Freedom

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, July 4, 1999

Holden looked around the crowded park, everyone was in the correct positions and things appeared to be going as planned, but now was not the time to relax. If it had been his call they wouldn’t be doing it today, but it wasn’t. In three hours time Stockwell would be boarding a plane out of the United States for a sudden ‘vacation’. Nothing could go wrong. Bruce knew that he that he had to look like he belonged at the Independence Fair or people would start talking and compromise everything.

He approached the swings with a surprised grin appearing on his face. “Hank Pearlman is that you?” he asked, using a heavy country accent. There were a few people close to Hank and the kid that were staring and he didn’t like it one bit.

Hank eased into his roll and replied, “Now, it’s Hank Marshall.” He stuck his hand out and gave Bruce’s a friendly shake. “I’ve been married for quite some time. What about you?”

Holden saw he was still an interest to the woman swinging her little girl to the left of Hank. He felt the hot July heat searing down on his back, making him feel tenser. Holden shook his head. “Nah, no marriage no kids.”

“So what’re you doing back?” Hank asked, glancing over to the woman who was listening to every word. When she saw him acknowledge her, her face grew red from embarrassment and she made a point to begin talking to her child.

“My uncle has cancer. My cousin’s been begging for me to come visit him before he goes so my sister and I made the trip down here.”

“I’d love to see Judy,” Hank replied, taking the baby out of the swing. “It’s been years.”

“Well she’s walking around here someplace but I’ll call her and have her meet us at the van. I’ve got a cooler full of cold drinks if you want one.”

“Sounds good,” Hank spoke the last of the nearly scripted dialog. He didn’t know who in town he could trust and he knew that he had to make the agent appear to belong. Keeping a friendly smile on his face, he walked with Hank toward the parking lot.

***

After hours travelling by plane and car, Carl, Cynthia, Jennifer and Craig were now in Bearden, Alabama. They had stopped off at a hotel to drop their bags and freshen up before the rescue operation began. For twenty minutes, they had been sitting in an S.U.V. casually parked in the middle of the crowded lot for the park.

“Where are they?” Craig asked. He glanced at the clock. “If they don’t get here soon they’re going to run out of time.”

“They’re on their way over now.” Carl turned to face Craig and Jennifer in the backseat. “Do not get out of this car or attempt to confront him in any way. We were only allowed here because I assured the feds that we would listen to them and we would do nothing to compromise their plan.”

“I already told you that I’d obey their directions,” Craig growled.

“We just want our son,” Jennifer said.

“And Brian,” Cynthia added.

Carl nodded and put one finger on his earpiece. “I was instructed to remind you. That black van in the corner of the lot is the one they’ll be getting into. Three other agents as well as Marshall’s guard, the informant, are already waiting for them.”

“How far did you say the estate is from here?” Jennifer asked.

“It’s a little over an hour’s drive,” Carl answered. “Once we get on the road we’ll hang back from the other federal vehicles. When we’re about a mile from the estate there will be a house where the feds have set up camp and we will join them there while the rescue operation begins.”

“When they say it’s clear we’ll be able to go to the estate too, right?” Jennifer asked. They had begged to go, the last thing they wanted to do was stay at their hotel and wait for news.

“If the feds clear it,” Carl assured for what had to be the hundredth time.

Carl’s eyes snapped to Agent Holden as he walked down the grassy hill with Hank Marshall toward the van.

“Their poor child,” Cynthia said softly. “What are they going to do with him?”

“They have someone to look after him I’m sure,” Carl replied. “Maybe they have a good family member he can go to.”

Craig frantically tried to open his door. “Open this door, Carl!”

“What are you doing?” Carl asked. “You just agreed…”

“That child is Justin’s!” Craig yelled, banging the seat in front of him.

“Oh god!” Jennifer gasped, tears filling her eyes. “He looks just like him!”

“Let me out of this fucking car, now!” Craig spat. He was horrified at the thought of the creepy small man fathering Justin’s child, but more than that he wanted to get to the child and make sure he was safe.

The agents listening in on Carl’s wire heard the commotion and asked for Carl’s explanation. “The Taylors say that child is their grandchild.”

“He looks just like Justin!” Jennifer proclaimed. “Just like him!”

“Did you hear that?” Carl asked into the small microphone.

Cynthia dug into her purse and produced one of the missing posters she had of Justin and showed Craig. “Look! Tell them. There’s no denying it. Tell them. He has to be Justin’s baby!”

Carl looked at the photo and then at the child in Hank’s arms. “I’m looking at a picture right now of Justin Taylor when he was kidnapped and I’m telling you, that child that man is carrying is Justin’s. They’re practically identical.” He pressed his earpiece in to understand what the agent was telling him. “Okay, yes. I’ll tell them.”

“What?” Jennifer asked, tears streaming down her face.

“They’d better believe us and not go handing that baby off to strangers. He’s got his family right here!” Craig demanded.

“They’re going to talk to Hank Marshall right now and find out what is going on. Either way, they’ll be bringing the child to the house where we’re meeting them and you can see him there.”

Jennifer slipped her hand into Craig’s as they both watched the baby get strapped into a female agent’s car. “Justin had a baby,” she spoke in awe.

***

Justin finished placing the birthing equipment on the bench beside the bathtub and picked up the list. He double-checked to be sure that he had everything ready. This time, he would be doing a water birth. He, Brian and the babies had taken many baths together in the large tub so he knew that it would serve the purpose for a water birth. The day they arrived at the house and Justin first saw the master bathroom, he knew immediately that this was what he wanted to do.

He still hadn’t told Brian that he was in labor. After Brian’s shower, he considered telling him but he hadn’t felt any contractions in that time so he waited. While eating an early dinner he felt a mild contraction but since then he hadn’t felt another pain as strong as the first.

“Pillows,” he spoke to himself and smiled before going into the bedroom to retrieve them. The tub would be comfortable but it would be much nicer to lie back if he had them.

After grabbing the pillows, Justin detoured into the hall and looked over the railing into the living room. Sitting with his back against the sofa, Brian had both of the babies crawling all over him. Justin could hear their nonsense gabbing and Brian’s sweet low tone of voice as he talked to them as if they all understood one another. It would soon be time for the babies to wind down and go to sleep but for now they were having special alone time with their Dada.

After lingering to gaze at his family, Justin went back into the bathroom and arranged the pillows against the back of the porcelain. While he stood up from the tub, he felt a surge of heat explode from his back as his muscles tightened and expanded inside of him. Left breathless and immobile, Justin considered calling out for Brian but by the time the pain rose to its highest peak it dulled in intensity only moments later. After composing himself, he washed his face off and looked at himself in the mirror. His shirt was soaked from the sweat and he felt itchy from the heat. Brian would definitely know that something was going on with him the moment he saw him.

Justin was glad to have everything prepared and a calm atmosphere awaiting him. As soon as he told Brian, he knew that the man would be rushing around trying to care for him and the babies as well as the twins inside of him. As long as they could get the kids asleep first then Justin was sure the birth would be…

A faint popping noise could be heard from outside.

“What was that?” Justin whispered to himself.

Then, the sound came again and Justin knew what the noise was. Gunshots.

“Brian!” he yelled while running into the hall. At full-term in his pregnancy, Justin had never moved so fast in his life.

Brian was already making his way up the stairs, the children carried in a football hold in each arm. “Get in the nursery,” he directed Justin. “Come on!”

Justin ran over to him, took Bevyn into his arms, and walked as fast as he could after Brian. “What’s going on?” he asked in panic.

“I don’t know,” Brian replied, his voice shaking. “Come over here,” he said, placing Beatha in the fenced off play area.

Justin could hardly bend down but did as Brian instructed. “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know. I think I heard some yelling and I know I heard gunshots. Maybe they have other people here too. Maybe someone tried to escape.”

Justin looked up at the camera in the nursery and yelled. “We’re not trying to escape. We’re not!”

“Come here.” Brian took Bevyn, placed him on the floor beside Beatha, held his hand out, and helped Justin step over the gate. “You need to sit down, you’re shaking and sweating and you’re so pale. You must calm down.”

“I can’t…” Justin knew most of the reason he was sweating and shaking had nothing to do with the fear of their captors. “What if they’re going to come in here and shoot us too?”

Brian rubbed his hands up and down Justin’s back. “Shh shhh shh shh, listen. Listen. It’s all gone. It stopped,” he soothed. “I don’t hear anything.”

“Oh god,” Justin gasped, holding Brian tighter. “They shot someone. They shot more than one person, Brian!”

Brian slowly lowered them both to sit in the corner. “Calm down, everything will be okay.”

Suddenly a loud bang coming from downstairs shook the house. The pictures on the walls of the playroom rattled and the lights flickered.

“They’re coming to kill us,” Justin wept. “Please, god, Brian. Don’t let them hurt the babies. Don’t let them take them. Please.”

Brian grabbed Beatha and Bevyn and put them in the middle of him and Justin’s legs. “We’re here together, Justin.” He kissed all three of them and allowed his tears to fall as his fears swept over him. “I’ve got you.”

Beatha and Bevyn snuggled into their arms, tuned into their fear and needing to be comforted.

A loud crash reverberated around the house and a rush of heavy boots and loud voices filtered up into the playroom.

“Justin Taylor! Brian Kinney!”

“They’re coming,” Justin cried desperately. He held his babies tight and burying his face in Brian’s shoulder.

Brian squeezed his eyes shut and held onto Justin as the sound of footsteps got closer to the nursery. He could hear doors flung open as people called out their names and it wasn’t until the moment that the nursery door flung open and he opened his eyes and saw an F.B.I. agent in the doorway that he understood what was happening. It never occurred to them that the captors had never used their first and last names when speaking to them.

“They’re in here!” the man yelled.

Justin turned to look at the man, his pale face streaked with tears. “Please, please go. Leave us alone. Please, we’ll stay here we won’t try to escape!” he begged. “Don’t kill us! Please.”

“Justin,” Brian gasped. He realized that Justin had probably never seen what F.B.I. agents looked like and he probably didn’t know that they were there to help. “He’s not going to kill us. He’s a good guy.”

“I didn’t mean to frighten you. We didn’t know how we would find you and we wanted to get to you as soon as we could. We’re here to rescue you,” Holden spoke proudly. He approached the baby gate but halted in his steps when Justin screamed.

“He’s like them!” Justin insisted. “See his gun!”

A barrage of other agents began to pour into the room, asking all sorts of questions.

“Go!” Justin yelled. “Please leave us alone!”

“We’re here to help you,” Holden said softly, approaching the gate again.

Brian glared daggers at the man. “Back the fuck off!” he yelled, his own body shaking.

“I don’t want to go with them,” Justin insisted. “I don’t want them to come near our babies. Please. Please. Please. Don’t let them hurt me.”

The realization that they would be free, that everything was about to change hit Brian hard but Justin’s reaction was petrifying. “Please, tell them to get out! He doesn’t understand! He doesn’t understand who you are!”

Holden looked at the other agents and pointed toward the hallway. “Get out!”

“Make him go, Brian, make him go,” Justin repeated, hiding against Brian’s chest. “Please. Please. Make him go. I don’t want him here looking at me. He’s staring at us!”

Holden immediately took his eyes off the men and looked over Brian’s shoulder. “I won’t stare at you, Justin. I won’t. I don’t want to do anything to hurt or scare you. I’m here to help you all. I want you and your children to be safe.”

“You’re lying,” Justin roared in anger. He placed Bevyn in Brian’s arms and turned to face Holden, giving the man his first view at his large stomach. “Just tell us the truth! Just tell us what you want to do with us and do it!”

“I’m not lying. The only thing I want to do is get you back with your family. Justin I’m not sure what these people did to you but…” Holden’s words came to a halt as the agent in charge began speaking to him. “Just a moment,” he said, turning away from the men and their children.

Knowing they were out of danger, Brian placed his children near their toys and rose to his knees to face Justin. He placed his hands on Justin’s clammy cheeks and looked right into his traumatized eyes. “Justin that man isn’t going to hurt to hurt us. He’s from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. They are the ones that help find people who are missing.”

Justin knew that he could trust Brian but he was scared that maybe they were fooling Brian too. “They dress just like the guards,” he whispered.

Brian shook his head. “No, they don’t. We’ve seen all of their faces. You saw that some of those agents were women. None of the guards we’ve ever seen before were women, were they?”

Justin knew that they weren’t. The first female he’d had contact with in years was his daughter. “N…no…no but what if they…”

“Think about it, Sunshine. We’ve seen all of them. They all have badges and I.D. cards. If we see any of them with masks it will only be because they are undercover and don’t want to risk people finding out their identity or other people who are missing might not get found.”

For Justin, it was almost too good to be true. “If they’re supposed to find missing people, why didn’t they find me before?” he asked.

Holden had heard that question and spun to face the men, keeping his eyes off to the side he answered, “Because we didn’t have enough clues to know where you two were. We weren’t sure until today that you two were together. We knew the same men took you but…”

“Who was it that took us?” Brian interrupted. “Why did they take us? Why have they done what they’ve done?”

Holden met Brian’s angry eyes and calmly spoke, “Brian we will tell you and Justin all of this information. There is a lot we all need to talk about but first our priority is making sure the two of you are safe.”

Brian nodded in understanding but not liking the decision. He was ready to take his children, Justin, and leave.

“I’m not sure what they’ve told you about your parents, Justin. Or what they’ve told you about your friends and family, Brian.” Holden sighed with great relief as Justin slowly lowered himself to sit back on the floor while meeting his eyes. “But they love and miss you very much. In fact, your parents are here, Justin. They can’t wait to see you. And Brian, Detective Carl Horvath and your friend Cynthia is here to see that you make it back home safe.”

Justin blinked at the man, wondering if what he said was true. “My parents are here?” he asked in amazement.

“Yes. Everyone is very anxious to see both of you. Would you like to see them?”

“Yes, of course,” Brian stopped and looked at Justin. He could tell the young man was completely overwhelmed and his coloring had taken an ashen look to it. He thought that seeing everyone would be too much for him right away.

Justin wanted to leap up and tell the man that ‘yes, he wanted his Mommy and Daddy’, but something inside of him stopped the words from coming out of his mouth.

“There’s another member of your family here to see you too,” a woman spoke from the doorway.

Brian and Justin turned their attention to the woman holding a little boy who was sucking his thumb and looking in awe at the two of them.

“Is that my little brother?” Justin asked the F.B.I. agent. He felt an immediate connection upon seeing the child. He didn’t have the mixed up feelings inside of him for Justin that he felt thinking about seeing his parents.

Holden knew this was a risk, but he had to do something to get him to calm down and understand that he was on the good side.

The agent walked in the room, approached the gate and knelt before it. She looked at the little boy in her arms and asked, “Do you know who they are?” She pointed to Brian and Justin.

The little boy smiled and nodded his head ‘yes’.

The woman laughed. “Yes, you watched them on TV, didn’t you?”

Brian and Justin’s eyes widened, not understanding what the woman was getting at. Had they taken Justin’s entire family hostage too?

The little boy repeated his previous action.

“What is your name?” she questioned.

“Beacan,” the boy answered proudly.

“And what are their names?” She once again pointed at Brian and Justin.

Beacan stuck one finger out, pointed at Justin and spoke, “Daddy.” He pointed at Brian, smiled brightly and said, “Dada.”

Justin felt his entire world spin around him and he collapsed against Brian, his first-born son’s name on his lips.

***

Justin woke in his and Brian’s bed. For a moment, he thought everything had been a dream until he heard Brian’s voice beside him.

“Leave him alone,” Brian said. “I checked his vitals, he’s fine. He’s overwhelmed and you’re making it worse.”

Holden tried to keep his voice quiet as he spoke. “He’s in labor, Brian. He needs help.”

“Brian.” Justin sat up and looked around him.

Brian grabbed Justin’s hand and kissed his cheek. “You passed out and your water broke. I had to have him help bring you in here. I couldn’t lift you on my own.”

“That’s okay,” Justin said, his words grit out between his teeth as a contraction began to build. “I wasn’t out long, was I?”

Brian wiped away the sweat from Justin’s face. “No, just long enough for us to move you in here.”

“Where is he?” Justin demanded, looking around the room. “Where’s Beacan?”

Brian directed Justin to look beside the bed where there first-born played with his siblings. “He’s playing with them.”

Justin’s eyes welled with tears as he watched Beacan push a car around Beatha and Bevyn. The younger babies’ eyes were wide with wonder as they watched their big brother crawl in circles around them. “Will he… will he let me hold him?” he asked.

“Justin, I need to send the medics in here. They need to see to you,” Holden broke into the conversation. “We need to get you to a hospital.”

Justin glared at the man. “I’m not going to a hospital!”

“But…”

“No one is touching me but Brian,” Justin whispered fiercely.

“But you’re going to have a baby. You need…”

“We’ve had three all on our own without anyone’s help and we’ll have this one on our own too!” Justin insisted.

Holden wasn’t sure if it was the fear talking or if what Justin had said was true. They were far from having all the details on Brian and Justin’s time as captives but he couldn’t believe that Marshall hadn’t sent someone to help deliver the children. “But the hospital is a much better place for you to…”

“Brian told me that people have babies at home all the time. He wasn’t lying!” Justin turned his attention away from the agent and looked at his children. “Beacan?” he called.

Holden wasn’t sure what to do. He’d never been in such a position before. He would need to talk to the doctor. “I’ll leave you alone for a few minutes,” he said, before leaving their bedroom and closing the door behind him.

“Beacan?” Justin called again when Justin didn’t appear to hear him.

Beacan still didn’t turn his attention to Justin, too interested in his playmates and their toys.

“It’s okay,” Brian said softly, “he’s just excited about playing.”

“Did you hold him yet?” Justin asked, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. He was having killer contractions but nothing was going to stop him from holding his baby.

“No,” Brian said, walking around toward their children. “I was too worried about making sure that Holden brought you in here, not out there.”

Justin grasped Brian’s hand when he became within reach. “Thank you.”

“A few of the agents brought them in here with us,” Brian explained. “Are you sure you’re all right? I was worried but when I checked your vitals, which they didn’t believe that I knew how to do, they were all normal.”

“It was all just sooooo much.”

“I know.” Brian bent down on the floor behind Beacan. “Beacan?”

Finally, Beacan allowed his play to stop for a moment and turned to look at Brian. His hazel eyes shone as he smiled at Brian.

Brian slowly reached a hand out and placed it on Beacan’s shoulder. Touching his warm child brought tears to Brian’s eyes. “Can I pick you up? Can me and Daddy hold you?”

“Yes,” Beacan agreed.

Justin bit his lip to stop himself from sobbing. He sucked in a deep breath as he watched Brian pick Beacan up and bring him up to the bed.

Brian buried his face in Beacan’s thick blond hair. “Our little boy, out little boy is here,” he gasped, sitting beside Justin.

Justin pressed himself close to Beacan and Brian. “I didn’t kill him. I didn’t,” he wept.

Brian wrapped his free arm around Justin. “I told you. I told you that you didn’t. Now we know why we didn’t feel like he was gone. He never was gone, Justin. He was with us all the time.”

Justin peppered kisses along Beacan’s chubby face and threaded his fingers through his hair. “I love you, Beacan. Daddy loves you.”

“We’re going to be a family now,” Brian told him. “You’re going to be with us now.”

“You,” Beacan agreed, his tiny fingers tracing Brian and Justin’s faces.

“I’ll never let you go again,” Justin vowed. “You’re our little boy.”

***

“He doesn’t want anyone coming in there to check on him or the baby,” Brian hissed quietly.

“Brian, we’ve been very generous allowing Justin to have an unassisted birth. All we’re asking is that you let us check over the baby….”

Brian slammed Holden against the wall of the hallway. “You’ve allowed him? Who do you think you are?” Even though he was angry, Brian still kept his words quiet, he didn’t need Justin hearing him get riled up.

Holden held still, knowing he could do nothing to push the taller man away form him. “That came out wrong,” he apologized.

“You’re damn right it did. He didn’t have an unassisted birth. I helped him every step of the way. We did everything on our own with Beatha and Bevyn, they turned out just fine, and we were just fine. Justin and our baby are all right too and you’ll just have to take my word on that for now.” Brian backed away and kept his fists balled at his sides. “Justin isn’t a boy. He’s a man. Make no mistake about that. He may seem young, innocent and naïve. But he isn’t. He’s stronger than any of your agents. He’s stronger than you or me. He lived five and a half years alone. Then when he met me…” Brian visibly shook as he spoke the next words, “He found out that I would have to rape him… to get him pregnant or they threatened to send someone else in here that would really rape him. He had to give himself to me, time and time again. Then after we thought we lost Beacan, even before he was physically or mentally ready they forced us to try for another child. But he did it. He gave himself to me because he had no choice.”

Holden’s head spun as he took the information in. He knew that the agents had found cabinets filled with video tapes of Brian and Justin but they had not been viewed. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry’s bullshit,” Brian spat. “The last two and a half years the only people he’s seen besides his children and me are men who repeatedly threatened him and our kids. They shoved guns in his faces, in our children’s faces. They watched every move we made. They watched every intimate action. They saw everything. They couldn’t control us falling in love and they didn’t control the other times that he gave himself to me. They didn’t control me giving myself to him. But they saw it. We know they saw everything. So excuse him for being so protective over his body, over our newborn child, our first of four who will not know this life. Excuse us for wanting to have time with our children, without people poking us, prodding us and judging everything.”

“Brian, I am sorry.” Holden realized that he had to do all he could to make sure that for once Brian and Justin got what they wanted. “I didn’t realize…”

“No,” Brian interrupted, trying his best to not break down. “You wouldn’t know. You won’t ever know what it’s been like for him. You’ll never know what it’s like to be terrified to leave the child you believed to be dead and only just found out is alive so that you could give birth. You won’t know that pain and fear, hopefully you won’t because I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Not even the people who did this to us. But as bad as it all has been for him, he’s still stronger than anyone will ever know. So you go downstairs and you tell them that if they want to keep guards outside the house tonight they’re more than welcome to do so. But besides that, you need to get the fuck out of here.”

Holden wasn’t one to back down easily but he knew when he was wrong. There were times that the job was just a job, all of his team was so precise, and detail oriented that the true meaning behind what they were doing was lost on them. On paper, Bruce Holden knew that what he was going into was going to be complicated and touchy. But paper was so much different than real life. “What about his parents and your friends?”

Brian desperately wanted to see Carl and Cynthia. He and Justin had both been offered to use the phones to call their family and friends too but they had no time. He knew that just knowing they were alive and safe would mean a lot to them and they had been told as much. But they just couldn’t be his first priority. “I’ll talk to Justin about it tonight if he’s up to it. We’ll let you know what we’re going to do tomorrow. We’ll need to talk about a lot of stuff but nothing is being decided tonight.”

“Understood,” Holden said. “If you do need anything, agents will be outside all night. We’ll also have some medical staff on call if you need them for any reason.”

A shiver coursed through Brian’s body as he thought about going outside. “Thanks.” He turned toward the master bedroom; his family was waiting on him.

***

Craig’s hand shook as he tried to slide the key card into the slot. “God damn it,” he whispered, kicking the hotel room door. After another try, he got the key card to go in but the lights on the lock flashed red instead of green. “Fuck!” He kicked the door again and pulled out the key quickly. The red lights flashed again. “Fucking open!”

Cynthia opened the door to her room and looked out at Craig across the hall. “Jesus, what are you doing?”

Craig turned to face Cynthia and waved his key. “Trying to get the fucking door open but the stupid thing won’t work.”

Dressed in only a pair of pajama pants and silk top, Cynthia looked down the hall to make sure no one else was around before stepping over to Craig. “Let me try it.”

Craig grunted and handed over the card and stepped away from the door. “Good luck.”

Cynthia fiddled with the key but didn’t get it open. “Were you downstairs in Jennifer’s room?”

“Do you really think that after she screamed at me and blamed me for Justin not wanting to see us today that I’d be down in her room? She made it perfectly clear that she was going straight to sleep. Even though Carl said it might be until tomorrow after noon before we see them, she wants to be up at dawn.”

“She’s waited to see Justin for so long I guess she wants to be sure that she’s ready when they say we can go.” The lock clicked, the green lights flashed and Cynthia opened the door. “Jennifer knows the reason Justin and Brian wanted to wait to see everyone.” Cynthia placed a comforting hand on Craig’s shoulder and stepped back from the door. “It’s not your fault.”

“You’re wrong about that. I don’t want any pity. I know that all of this is my fault.” Craig caught the door with his hand. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Cynthia gave into her curiosity and asked, “So where were you?”

“I went down to talk to the woman at the front desk.”

“About?”

“I wanted to find out if there was a toy store around here that would be open.”

Cynthia smiled. “So you’re going to spoil those grandbabies are you?”

Craig found himself smiling back at the woman as he thought about Beacan and the three other babies he had yet to meet. “It’s my duty.”

“Wait for me to change,” Cynthia said walking back to her door. “I want to go with you and pick some stuff out. It’s my duty as an aunt to spoil them too.”

Craig nodded. “I’ve just got to grab my wallet.”

***

Brian kissed Justin’s forehead as he sat beside him. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yes,” Justin stroked Beacan’s hair with his left hand. “I’m great. Tired but great.” In his right arm, he held their new son.

Brian sighed and looked at all four of his sleeping children. Beatha and Bevyn slept peacefully in the pack and play beside their bed. “We’re going to have six children soon.”

“But we’ll have help,” Justin insisted. “I know my Mommy and Daddy will want to help us care for them.”

Brian refrained from telling Justin that he should probably call them ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’. There was so much that Justin would need to understand about the world, so much he’d have to learn that would take any innocence he possessed away from him. He shook those thoughts away and looked back at his new sons snuggling with his man. “This day has been….” Brian couldn’t really find words to describe it.

Justin nodded in understanding. “I didn’t know I could feel so happy and be so scared all at once.”

“Me too.” Brian moved so that he could stretch out on his side against Justin. He kissed his newborn son’s cheek and asked, “What should we name him?”

“Chaos?” Justin asked.

Brian snorted. “He may have been born amongst chaos but today is also the day we are free.”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Justin said quickly, feeling over-anxious. “Not tonight.”

“It’s okay. I talked to Agent Holden and he understands that we need time alone tonight. He explained it to your parents, Cynthia and Carl. We’ll talk about all of it tomorrow.”

Justin had planned his rescue millions of times in the last almost eight years. Never had he imagined he’d feel so scared to go home. He never thought that the events that transpired today would have happened. It all felt like a waking dream, coupled with nightmarish fears and feelings within him that he didn’t understand. “Do you think they’re mad?”

“Who?”

“My parents. Do you think they’re mad at me because I didn’t want to see them tonight?”

Brian kissed Justin’s forehead. “No, no of course not. They understand, I’m sure of it.”

Justin studied Brian. “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Brian whispered.

Justin gave Brian a critical look. “You know, you can go outside if you want.”

“I don’t want to,” Brian replied.

“Yes you do,” Justin countered. “Every time we talked about what we’d do if we were rescued, the first thing you said you wanted to do was run as far as you could in the fresh air.”

Brian sighed and placed his hands on his stomach. “I’m not going to be running anywhere anytime soon.”

“But you could at least go outside and look at the stars and wait for the sunrise.”

Brian looked at Justin, his eyes begging him to believe him. “When I see the stars for the first time I want to see them with you. Same goes for the sunrise.”

Justin’s heart ached with the heavy love he felt for Brian. “You’re romantic, like Prince Charming.”

Brian laughed and sat up, kissing Justin’s lips before getting out of the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going? We have to name our son.”

“I’ve want to go talk to Agent Adair, the guard that’s waiting in the garage. I want him to find out what time the sunrise is.”

“Adair?” Justin asked. “Which one is that?”

“The nice one that convinced agent Holden and the other agents to let us stay here instead of moving us to the hotel.”

“Is that his last name?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, it is. Why?”

“I saw that name in the baby name book.”

Brian grinned. “You want to name him Adair?”

“Do you?”

“Well what would be his middle name?” Brian asked, sitting back down beside Justin.

“You pick it,” Justin said. “You picked Beacan’s, Beatha’s and Bevyn’s middle names.”

Brian kissed Adair’s cheek and sniffed his head, inhaling his calming baby smell. “I’ll have to think about it.”

Justin brought his hand to Brian’s neck and pulled the man into a kiss. “Well think about it while you go ask about the sun rise. It’s almost midnight and I don’t want his first day on earth to end without him having a full name.”

Brian laughed. “All right. But you should put him down in the crib while I’m gone and try to relax. Sunrise may come awfully early and it’s been a big day.”

“I don’t care if I get an hour of sleep tonight. I’m going to watch the sunrise with you and our children tomorrow morning and tomorrow night we’ll count the stars together.”

XXXXX

Moments in Captivity

Chapter Eighteen: Home

“Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration.” ~ Charles Dickens

Tuesday, July 5, 1999

“No, he hasn’t asked,” Brian told the agent. “If he asks, then we’ll tell him. But not until then.”

Bruce Holden shook his head in disagreement. “You’re acting as though he’s a child.”

“He is a fucking child,” Brian said harshly. “Anything he knows about being a man he learned from me, from memories of his father or from becoming a father. You can stand there and judge this decision all you want, but until he asks, he doesn’t need to know.”

“Brian, I’m not trying to upset you and I’m not judging you. I want you to understand that Justin might feel like you’re….”

“Don’t you tell me how Justin feels,” Brian spat. “You don’t know him. No one knows him as I do. I know that when I asked him if he wanted to know he told me that he wasn’t ready to talk about any of it. He doesn’t want to talk about it until we get back and he said he’d ask when he is ready. Justin wants to see his Mom and Dad and then he wants to get out of here and go home with our kids.”

“Okay. I’ll let the Taylors and your friends know your decision.”

“It isn’t only my decision. It’s Justin’s decision too.” Brian felt like tearing his hair out. “Do you honestly think that even though he doesn’t want to hear about it that I should force him? Do you think he would be better off seeing his parents for the first time since he was a child knowing that the reason they kidnapped him is because his father fucked me for money? I bet they’ll have a wonderful reunion then.”

Bruce flinched at the blunt words and immediately changed his mind about the situation. “I understand. I’m sorry if I offended you.”

Brian took a deep breath of the country fresh air and looked toward the large house in front of him. “Go get them so we can leave and get out of this hick town and get back to Pittsburgh.”

***

“You’re so beautiful,” Jennifer sobbed, touching her son’s jaw with shaky fingers.

Justin held himself stiffly against Brian, struggling not to flinch away from his mother’s touch. After first seeing Craig and Jennifer, his parents held him in their arms and repeatedly told him how much they missed and loved him. He allowed them to squeeze him tight, to run their fingers through his hair and run their eyes over his changed body. But then Justin had retreated into the safety of Brian’s arms.

“I tried to imagine what you looked like now,” Craig said, choking on his words. “But the image I had, it just doesn’t compare to how handsome you are, Justin.”

Justin smiled uncomfortably at his father and saw tears still streamed down his cheeks. He didn’t remember ever seeing Craig cry and now it appeared that he couldn’t stop. This situation called for expression of emotion but he couldn’t express anything except the emotion that ruled all others. Fear.

Adair began to fuss in Justin’s arms, needing to eat, giving him the needed excuse to get away. “I… I need to go feed Adair.”

“That’s his name?” Jennifer asked.

Justin looked from the blue bundle in his arms and back up at his mother. “Yes.” He realized that neither he nor Brian had yet to introduce their children. He figured they all probably wanted to hold them but he wasn’t sure if he wanted that. “Adair Brannon Kinney.”

“He looks like you did when you were a baby,” Craig commented, wiping the tears from his face as he stepped closer to Justin.

“And these are?” Cynthia asked of the two babies in the playpen.

“Bevyn Adam and Beatha Abigail,” Brian answered. “And you have all already met Beacan Aiden,” he said, indicating Justin sleeping on a blanket in the grass.

“They’re all adorable,” Carl declared, smiling at the two young men. “I can’t wait for Deb and everyone else to see them.”

“Me neither,” Brian said, tears coming into his eyes at the thought.

Adair wiggled more and let out a loud whimper. “I’m going to go inside,” Justin said, extracting himself from Brian’s embrace. “He needs to eat now.”

Brian could tell Justin was seconds from jumping out of his skin and needed to be alone with Adair. They’d been outside since having breakfast at sunrise. It was now almost noon and though he thought Justin would be much happier and more welcoming toward his parents, he understood why he was acting so standoffish. “I’ll come in and make some lunch for the kids in a few minutes.”

“Okay,” Justin whispered, a lump forming in his throat. He didn’t want to leave Brian’s side or leave his children outside without him but he knew it wasn’t right to have them all come in just because he felt the need to retreat from everything.

“Can I come in with you, Justin?” Jennifer asked.

Justin’s eyes widened in fright and he fought with how he could politely tell his mother that he didn’t want her to go inside with him for countless reasons. He decided upon saying, “I’d like to feed him alone… if that’s okay?”

“Of course that’s all right,” Jennifer said with a forced cheerful tone. She was disappointed but she had prepared herself for Justin acting distant and uncomfortable with her. “I’ll just make myself acquainted with my grandchildren.”

“It’s amazing that we have a daughter younger than one of them,” Craig commented, gesturing toward Beacan.

Justin stared at his parents and gasped, “What?”

Jennifer smiled at Justin. “You have a little sister, Molly.”

“I’m sorry, I guess I thought someone would’ve told you,” Craig stammered.

“I have a sister?” Justin asked in awe. “Where is she?”

“She’s with Debbie, Brian’s…”

“Brian’s told me who Debbie is,” Justin interrupted. “She’s younger than Beacan?”

“Yes,” Jennifer replied. “She’s sixteen months old.”

Justin frowned as his mind began filling with a million questions about her and his parents, too many that it all just jumbled together and made him feel a little dizzy. “I’m going to go in,” he said quickly, turning away from everyone and walking toward the house.

Jennifer stared at Brian and waited for Justin to go inside before she asked, “Is he always so closed off?”

Brian narrowed his eyes at her. “He’s overwhelmed.”

“I know, it’s just that he seems so detached from…”

Knowing no good would come out of the discussion, Cynthia cut in, “Jen if you don’t pick up one of your grandchildren I’m going to.”

Jennifer looked at the children playing with their toys in the playpen. “Okay, okay.” She walked over to them and they smiled up at her. “Hello you two. I’m your grandma.”

Craig joined Jennifer by the playpen and picked up Beatha, knowing Jennifer was trying to decide which one to hold first so he made the decision for her. “Hi, sweetheart. I’m your grandpa.”

Beatha squealed and patted Craig’s face while smiling at him.

“I have a bunch of toys for you in the car, Beatha,” Craig talked with a soothing voice. “When we get you and your brothers back to Pittsburgh I’m going to spoil you rotten, just like I did for your daddy.”

Brian wasn’t sure what to feel toward Craig, but as he watched him with Beatha, he felt a little better about him. Sensing Brian’s discord, Cynthia walked over and put her arm around him. “You okay?”

Brian hugged Cynthia back. “I’m just ready to go home. But… well I don’t know where that’s going to be. I can’t exactly move everyone into the loft.”

“It’ll take a couple days to move what you and Justin want to take,” Carl commented. “But you know that you can always stay with me and Debbie until you find something.”

Brian wanted to accept the offer, but he wasn’t sure that Justin could handle it. Today was proving to be too much stimulation for Justin and he knew that even though Debbie and his family of friends would mean well, there would be too much commotion at her home. Staying in a hotel would be all right but then there would be many people there too. He knew that the press would also be hounding them the moment they got back to Pittsburgh. He hated that all he wanted to do was lock himself up with Justin and his family far away from everyone so that he could take care of Justin and his children on his own terms.

Cynthia saw the wheels turning in Brian’s head. “If you’d rather be a little ways out of Pittsburgh you guys could stay at my grandmother’s cottage. I could call home and find someone to have it cleaned out. She hasn’t been there since Christmas and won’t be coming back until November. I’m sure you guys can find a house by then.”

Brian had been to the cottage a few times with Cynthia. It was located close to the West Virginia border and had a large yard, far away from the road and big thick trees surrounded most of the property, and a tall iron fence around it. It would be perfect. “I’ll have to talk to Justin about it, but I think that would work well. Thank you.” He turned to Carl and gave him a hug. “And thank you for the offer to stay with you. I guess the feds figured we’d go to my loft but Cynthia is right, we really need a place further from Pittsburgh. I need to keep Justin and the kids away from the media storm and there he can still go out in the yard with the kids without having to worry about reporters taking his picture.”

“I completely understand,” Carl said. “Agent Holden has assured me that wherever it is you and Justin stay he will make sure you two are shadowed with protection until things die down.”

“Thank you, Carl.”

“Who did you give birth to, if you don’t mind me asking?” Jennifer asked walking over to Brian.

Brian kissed Bevyn’s head. “I had Bevyn on September 2nd,” Brian answered.

“That’s when they said Beacan was born,” Jennifer gasped.

“Yes, I had him one year to the date later.” Brian further added, “Justin and I thought of celebrating his birthday on the 1st or the 3rd because we didn’t want him to share the birthday with Beacan because of what happened.” Tears pooled in Brian’s eyes and he wiped the away before meeting Jennifer’s compassionate eyes. “But now… now they can celebrate their birthdays together.”

Cynthia squeezed Brian’s hand to offer comfort.

“And Beatha?” Craig implored, switching her into Jennifer’s arms so that he could hold Bevyn.

“Justin had Beatha and she’ll be turning a year old on July 10th,” Brian answered proudly.

“Dada?” Beacan was away, lying on his stomach and staring up at all the adults.

Brian walked over to his son and sat beside him on the blanket. “Here I am.”

Beacan got to his feet quickly and launched himself into Brian’s arms. “Dada.”

Brian fell backward onto the blanket, having the wind knocked out of him. “Hey buddy.” He struggled to sit up and thankfully, Carl held out a hand and helped him sit. “Beacan, I have babies in my belly,” Brian said gently, “you have to be careful jumping on me.”

“Babies?” Beacan asked looking down at Brian’s stomach. He put his hand on Brian’s belly. “Babies?”

“Babies?” Craig gasped.

Brian laughed. “Yes, babies.”

Beacan instinctively placed his head on Brian’s belly and sweetly said, “Hi, babies.”

Brian ran his hands through Beacan’s blond hair and let tears fall from his eyes. “You’re a big brother.”

“How do you know?” Jennifer asked.

Brian looked up at the woman and shrugged. “We know there are two heartbeats and I can feel that the movement is much different. I’m also twice the size I was when I was pregnant with Bevyn.”

“But there could be more than two,” Carl suggested.

“I hope not,” Brian said honestly. “We’ve got our hands full.”

“Well you’ll have to see a doctor to be sure once we get back to Pittsburgh. I understand that Justin didn’t want the medics to see him yesterday, but all of you guys need to see physicians once you’re back,” Craig insisted.

“We’ll get to that,” Brian told him. “But it’ll take some time before either of us is comfortable enough to do that, Craig.”

Craig nodded. “I know, I’m just worried about you both.”

Brian grunted, “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“You’re family now,” Jennifer said, sitting down on the blanket beside Brian. She wrapped one arm around him. “You love my son, don’t you?”

“More than anything,” Brian’s answer was like a vow.

Cynthia, Carl and Craig joined them on the blanket and they all played with the babies. When Justin came out of the house with Adair a few minutes later and saw them he felt a rush of emotions explode from his chest, culminating in a loud sob.

“Justin?” Brian looked up at his lover worriedly and held his hand out.

Justin slowly knelt down on the blanket in between his mother and Brian. “Do you want to hold him, Mommy?” he asked crying.

“Oh, honey, are you sure?” Jennifer asked, her tears falling once again.

“Yes,” Justin said, offering Adair to her.

Jennifer took the small baby into her arms and placed a kiss on his cheek. “He’s so perfect, Justin. I can tell that you and Brian are great fathers to your children.”

“You can?” Justin asked. “How do you know?”

“We just know,” Craig answered for Jennifer.

“You guys have done so well on your own,” Carl added, hugging Bevyn.

“But you’re not alone anymore,” Cynthia said, reaching out and grasping Justin’s hand and Brian’s. “We’re all a family now.”

Justin leaned against Brian and said. “I want to go home. I’m ready now…can we we leave this place?”

Brian turned and took Justin in his arms and began to cry with relief. “Then we’ll go home. We’ll go home, Justin.”

The End