A Captivating Coupling

Chapter Three: Hunger

I hunger for what I don’t know. I ache for everything you might give me. I shudder from fear, lust, and the way you overwhelm me. There’s nothing as dangerous as you. But I’m attracted to your flame and claim innocence. I can’t stay away; I yearn for you to burn me. – RH

Tuesday, January 7, 1997

Brian’s gentle touches caused goose bumps to rise on Justin’s skin. Justin knew that he didn’t feel cold; the goose bumps again came about because of something else entirely. The more Brian touched him, the hotter his groin felt. His now, stiff looking penis twitched in pleasure. It grew in length and thickness when Brian started to touch him there, right above the funny hairs he’d grown above his penis a few years ago.

He’d always wondered why his Daddy and other men had hairy bodies and he didn’t. When he asked his Daddy once, his Father told him that he would get hair when he became a man too. When Justin first discovered the hair growing under his arms, Justin was happy to know that he was becoming a man. But he also got confused because his underarms started to smell. Justin bathed and tried to keep them clean, but they still kept on smelling. He’d asked ‘God’ to tell him why. Justin tried to look for the answer in some books and found that all the pages he thought it might be found, were missing.

‘God’ didn’t say anything back, the camera usually didn’t cause for anyone to come and see him, talk to him, no matter how much he begged… at first. But, the next time Justin got supplies from them, deodorant came in the box. The young blond saw his dad use it before, and realized that it wasn’t just so he could smell nice. Next time he asked for supplies, he asked for the same deodorant his Daddy used. Once Justin started using Old Spice, he didn’t smell bad.

Sometimes Justin would walk around without a shirt, hoping that if the men saw that he was becoming a man, they would let him go because he wasn’t a little boy anymore. He was sure that they’d taken him because he was a little boy and not for the silly reasons they told him.

His Mommy and Daddy had told him about bad men and women that would take children away from their parents because they wanted children themselves. Justin always made sure to stay by his parents when they went anywhere. He didn’t think they’d come into their home and take him. He figured that maybe one day they would give him back, when he was a man. But that didn’t happen, and Justin started to get cold so he started wearing shirts again.

But more confusion soon came for Justin after he discovered the hairs getting thicker on his arms, legs and then some sprouted around his belly button. After that, he saw hairs starting to grow above and around his penis. That was also around the time that he got sick from the weird feelings he felt when he rubbed himself. He was too embarrassed to ask ‘God’ about any of it, and after searching through books with torn pages, he didn’t find an answer to why those hairs grew.

“Br...Brian?”

“What Justin?” Brian felt very tired, but also very aroused. His fingertips had been trailing lower and lower on Justin's body and he was lost in the feel of Justin's silky blond pubic hair that floated in the water.

“We, we have to get out soon or they will come for us,” Justin’s voice trembled.

Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and squeezed him tightly. His forehead rested in the crook of Justin's neck, his lips by Justin’s perfect seashell ear. “I know but, we have to decide what we are going to do first. I don’t want them to hear us talk. We haven't got much time.” Brian moved the shower curtain slightly and looked at the clock that hung above the toilet. They had already been sitting in, 'their own world' for forty-five minutes. This meant that he and Justin had fifteen minutes to decide what they were going to do before their time was up in the bathroom.

“You, you are going to have sex with me,” Justin said. He tried to sound certain and at ease with the unknown act. “It's already eleven-thirty, is that still enough time to make a baby, Brian?”

Brian's heart once again broke for Justin. Justin was absolutely clueless when it came to sex and the semantics thereof. He would have to teach Justin not only the facts of sex. There were many facts on life and pregnancy that Justin probably had absolutely no idea about. He would need to do this without the naked blond boy lying in his arms.

As much as Brian wanted to stop the attraction,he felt for Justin, the growing feeling he felt for Justin, couldn’t be stopped. He knew it was wrong of him to be attracted in any way to Justin. He was repulsed with himself and even though he knew he had no choice. Brian held onto the knowledge that if he’d met Justin on the street, he wouldn’t have entertained the possibility of having sex with him.

But he had no choice in the matter, because of these rules and the situation itself that pressed upon any normal feelings and thoughts he had. Justin’s presence alone awakened feelings he’d thought he’d long since buried deep inside himself. He felt like predator, a pervert and wasn’t sure he could forgive himself for what he’d have to do with Justin. He wondered what their child would think in the future, knowing that they were a product of the kidnapping but also of Brian’s sick lust.

He needed some time to think and to somehow come up with a way that would allow Justin not to go into the sex as an innocent child, but as the man he claimed to be. “Justin lets get dried off and have something to eat and talk. I take it that you do request lots of food on your lists from what I’ve seen in the fridge?” Brian poked his fingers into Justin’s ribs, trying to lighten the dark mood that settled around them.

Justin laughed as Brian tickled him. The sound was almost foreign to his own ears and the smile he turned and gave Brian he wouldn't have been able to recognize.

Both had Brian's heart racing and his own lips smiling. “So, you got food?” Brian wondered, trying to redirect the conversation away from the feelings that argued with his good sense.

“Of course I have food,” Justin said through his laughter. “I am a really good cook, Brian. I have lots and lots of cookbooks! I can make you almost anything you want.” Justin stood up from the water, feeling extremely excited. The water that poured down from him got all over Brian's face but he didn't notice as he stepped from the bath and grabbed two big fluffy towels from the closet.

Brian sat in the tub, his mouth slightly agape. He loved to look at Justin who was so happy and excited all because of Justin talking about his skills with food. Justin seemed to be so eager to please him. He also noticed that Justin wasn't tripping over his words and was much more easygoing and relaxed within his company. The warm bath and touch made Justin much more comfortable with him.

Justin wrapped his towel around his wet blond head, pulled a white fluffy robe off the back of the door, and covered his body. Justin handed the man one of the towels. “Here, dry off with this. I'll be right back with a robe for you. I have a longer red fluffy one I asked for, for last Christmas.”

Brian took the towel. “Thanks,” he whispered. He wasn’t one to love celebrating holidays, but he wondered how exactly Justin celebrated them. It saddened him to think about that Justin celebrated Christmas alone. He wondered if at the time of Justin’s kidnapping, whether or not he still believed in Santa Claus. Brian was sure that if he had, Justin probably learned that St. Nick didn’t exist. Brian was positive though, that Santa Claus’s non-existence was probably the least of the devastating things the young blond had to experience alone.

The kid had most likely endured more anger, grief, longing and loneliness than even he himself had as a child and that was saying something. Considering the fact that Brian’s parents stripped him of any childlike beliefs from the day he was born. He never knew fairy tales, Santa Claus or magic of any kind. Something told him Justin had, and the people holding them prisoner had probably wounded him with the reality they thrust him into.

Brian started to dry off his body. The worried thoughts he had concerning Justin did little to with his unwanted erection and wondered if this was a side effect of the drugs he’d been injected with.

He noticed when Justin got out of the tub that the young man’s cock was still very hard. While they bathed, he saw the drops of pre-come that bubbled from the slit in the wide head, signaling Justin’s need for release. Nevertheless, Justin seemed unfazed by his cock’s movement, besides the flushed look he had on his face. It appeared as though Justin didn't know what to do with his erection. Brian had a hard time believing that Justin wouldn’t at the very least, know the pleasures he could create with his own body. However, he had a nagging feeling that was true.

When Justin returned with Brian's robe, he smiled shyly again as he handed it to him. “Here, I think it’ll fit.”

“Thank you, Justin,” Brian said. He scanned the beautiful boy's body and saw Justin was still hard under the robe. Brian realized in that instant that it wasn’t as though it appeared that Justin didn’t know what to do with his erection, it had to be a fact. Otherwise, he was sure the kid would have done something to relieve himself or to cover it more, considering the fact that his face was blushing to a near fire engine red color. Brian would have to change all that. And he would, because they would force him to, within only a few hours.

***

“So what do you want to eat, Brian?”Justin asked, looking into the fridge and assessing what he had that he could make meals out of for Brian.

Brian sat at one of the bar stools. He was glad that it was warm in the apartment because he didn't have any socks or house shoes on. Justin’s feet were much smaller than his and even if they weren’t he couldn’t have imagined actually wearing the cartoon printed socks. And he definitely wasn’t going to wear the brown, fuzzy dog slippers that Justin now wore on his feet and had offered him.

The fact that Justin lived here in the apartment, really hit Brian when he saw those slippers and Justin told him that he hadn’t worn real shoes since he’d been there. He smiled when he’d told Brian that, and then giggled as though he was telling him a secret. Brian would have laughed too, if it wasn’t entirely sad to him.

He did manage to give Justin a smile and tell him that he himself would still like to wear his Prada boots around the apartment. Justin had scrunched up his face and then had gone into explaining to Brian how great it was to be comfortable all the time. Brian realized with painstaking clarity that with every word Justin spoke to him, it was as if everything he knew saw or thought about, remained confined within the apartment.

Justin gave Brian the catalogue he had delivered each month. Brian was currently making the small list Justin had advised him to do. He was narrowed down to the ‘Sears’ book for now, but Justin told him that he could get whatever he wanted from any catalogue, but he asked for that one because that was where his Mommy bought his clothes from.

Justin had made himself comfortable, alone, a long time ago. Brian knew that he had resigned himself to living in this apartment. He could tell by the way Justin spoke, but also because as he paged through the Sears catalogue and made his list, he also saw most of the items that Justin had ordered, decorating the apartment. However, Brian wouldn't do that. He would give Justin hope again. They would get out. Even if in the meantime he had to pretend as if he didn’t mind going against every moral he taught himself. He would get them out of this place.

“Brian…Brian...” Justin called Brian, waving his hand in front of Brian. Brian looked lost in his own world of thoughts. Justin wondered if he had done or said something that upset Brian. He realized that he had been talking an awful bunch about all the different things he bought from the catalogue. But then, as Brian looked at him, he realized that wasn’t why Brian’s expression had gotten so dark and serious.

“Oh, sorry,” Brian closed the ‘Sears’ book and looked up at the anxious looking boy. “I was just thinking I’m hungry and I was also thinking about how we should get…”

“Dinner together?” Justin finished Brian’s sentence. He could tell that Brian’s expression meant he was thinking about more than dinner. But, Justin wanted to make sure that Brian didn’t say anything about escaping in front of the cameras and speakers, he nodded toward them. “Going a week without food can make you really hungry.”

Brian was about to retort that he hadn’t gone that long without eating but then, he understood what Justin was telling him. He was warning him not to talk about getting out of there. From the quick flash of pain in Justin’s eyes, Brian knew that Justin had to have endured, a week without food, when he’d talked about it. Brian gave Justin a small nod of understanding. “Yeah, I'm pretty hungry. So you can cook anything?”

Justin sighed in relief, glad that Brian wouldn’t be bringing up the outside world, “Well almost, with the groceries and stock we have. But, don’t you think we should eat something quick? Since…since we only have a little time before….”

Brian nodded. “Yeah but we still have a lot of time Justin. It’s still early but we’ll need to talk. How about we make omelets?” Brian actually could manage those on his own, so he figured he could help cut up the vegetables; at least… he often burned the eggs though, so he’d leave the actual cooking part to Justin.

“Mmm, I love omelets. What kind would you like?” Justin asked and walked back to the fridge and looked inside again. “I make a really good Mexican omelet.” Justin grabbed some things for the fridge and set them on the bar in front of Brian.

Brian heard his stomach rumble. “I haven't had one of those since I was in Cabo. It sounds really good.”

Justin kept bringing over items to the bar, and finally turned to the Island, where the grill was and put the burner on low while adding an iron skillet and an amount of butter to the pan that Brian pretended not to see.

Brian grabbed a knife from the chef's box and the cutting board beside it. He started to chop the colored peppers while Justin stood beside him whisking eggs, milk and spices into a large bowl.

“So you went to Cabo? Was it really as beautiful as it looks in the books?” Justin’s voice was filled with wonder.

Brian nodded, but then a thought occurred to him. “I thought you weren't allowed to know anything about the outside world.”

Justin smiled sadly. “Well, I can, it's just current events, that sort of thing they don’t want me to know, nothing that has to do with the years since I have been in here.”

Brian raised his eyebrow in confusion as he thought to himself. What kind of rules are these? Doesn’t 'God' realize that once I am in here I will tell Justin about it all? Or… maybe that is the point. Brian knew he would have to find out. He shared his thoughts with Justin after milling them over in his mind a few more minutes. “So, I think I am supposed to teach you Justin.” Brian moved the cheese he’d grated into a bowl and then quickly began to cut mushrooms.

Justin thought about what Brian had said as he poured the mixture into the hot griddle, “I think so too. Though, I still can't figure out why they would do it this way. What exactly do they want you to teach me?”

“I don't really think its specific, except maybe for one thing,” Brian told Justin. He felt his face blush for reasons that were unimaginable to him.

Justin turned omelets with a spatula and looked at Brian innocently. “What do you think that is, Brian?”

“Sex, of course,” Brian answered.

“Oh.” Justin nodded and turned back to their food.

Brian detected a hint of disappointment in Justin's breath and eyes, “What do you mean 'Oh'. Did you think it was something else I specifically should teach you Justin?”

Justin didn't turn toward Brian. He just shook his still towel-wrapped head and flipped the omelets in the pan.

Brian waited for Justin to answer him. He gathered the peppers and mushrooms and sprinkling them inside the omelets as Justin held open the folds he’d made. He went back to get the cheese and then poured the topping all over the delicious looking and smelling food, awaiting Justin’s answer. He could see the nervousness etched in Justin’s face.

Justin still didn't look up or answer Brian. He moved about the kitchen and collected dinnerware and sat it at the bar. Brian busied himself with putting the used dishes in the sink and grabbed two bottles of V8 from the fridge.

Justin took the skillet over to the bar and dished them each out an omelet. Once he turned off the oven and put the skillet on the sink to cool down, he’d gained enough courage to tell Brian what he was thinking. “I think that maybe its love.” Justin looked into Brian’s eyes, daring Brian to deny what he so innocently, yet, firmly stated.

Brian felt his chest tighten as he fully took in Justin’s statement. For the first time in his life, he couldn’t help but to yearn for even the mere suggestion of love. Just the thought of that, the truth in Justin’s words, the hope it gave to everything, made Brian feel as if he actually could have something more than what he’d ever thought he could have in his life. Even if it were here, in this place that was supposed to be a prison for them both. Maybe, it didn’t completely have to be. “I think you may be right Sunshine,” Brian told Justin, his voice husky. He couldn't resist leaning in and tasting Justin's lips gently.

Justin smiled widely as Brian pulled away from the lip-lock. He suppressed the giggles that wanted to erupt from his throat from the feel of his first kiss. He asked, “But Brian, sex is a part of it all, right?”

Brian sat down beside Justin and took a bite of his food and then answered. “Yes Justin. Sex is a part of almost every part of life, whether people realize it or not.”

“And I can ask you anything about it?” Justin said through bites of food.

Brian nodded, chewing on the heavenly dinner. “Sure.”

“Have you had sex before?” Justin asked, curious of the man’s knowledge.

Brian smiled to himself and realized again that Justin had a lot to learn. He looked at the clock on the wall. He had about twelve hours to tell Justin and show him exactly what sex was and what making a baby really entailed.

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Moments in Captivity

Chapter Three: Pretend

October 31, 1994

Justin began his day by arranging his stuffed animals through-out the apartment. He placed assorted candies from the bag he ordered under each one. When the mean people first kidnapped him, the little boy would talk to his animals aloud while he played. But gradually, most of the talking Justin did was in his head, unless he decided to sing one of the songs on the cartoons he watched. Today, he explained to each animal their role in the game he made up to play “Trick or Treat”.

Then, Justin went into his bedroom and unwrapped the costume he ordered from its plastic packaging. His Mommy usually made him keep his clothes on underneath so he wouldn’t get cold when they went from house to house, but for the last two years he played “Trick or Treat”, he didn’t have to. He stopped being cold in the apartment when he learned how to regulate the thermostat a few months after his arrival.

After Justin put on the batman suit, he went to the bathroom and took out the face paint. His costume had come with a plastic mask, but Justin wanted to paint the mask on his eyes himself. His artistic abilities were rarely tested or expressed but his talent was evident on his face. The mask Justin created had depth to it. He’d used the white and blended it with the black to create shadow under his eyes and around the lines. He added glitter to the top of his eyelids and over the black to make it shiny. For an added eerie touch, Justin applied deep purple paint to his lips. He barred his teeth in the mirror and giggled at how scary he looked. “Happy Halloween Justin,” he spoke in a deep voice. Next Year, I’m gonna be the Joker, he decided. He let out an evil sounding laugh, grabbed his cape and stalked out of the bathroom.

Justin went over to the three pumpkins he carved. One for his Daddy, one for his Mommy and one for him. He took some matches, lit the candles in each pumpkin and went through the other areas of the house and lit the candles he’d placed there. After, Justin grabbed his Halloween bucket, shut off the lights and began to play his game.

Justin went through the rooms of the house and made a knocking noise inside his head as he stopped in front of each animal. He would speak to his toy Trick or Treat, grab the candy underneath, place it in his bucket and go on to the next the room, collecting all the candies.

When Justin finished finding the candy he blew out the candles and turned on all the lights and sat down to look at the confections. This year, Justin remembered not to eat more than a few pieces. He didn’t want to get sick like he did the last two years. He hated being sick without his Mommy to take care of him.

***

November 1, 1994

Justin had fallen asleep on the couch watching the movie “Donald Duck’s Halloween”. He woke up the next morning to a loud knocking on his door.

“Get up, kid,” he heard a gruff voice demand.

Justin lazily got up off the couch and walked over to the door and opened it. A large man dressed in all black and wearing a mask stood before him holding a box. Justin was no longer afraid of the men because he saw them so often when they delivered things or fixed things for him. But he hadn’t ordered anything and had just gotten his supplies two days ago, so he didn’t know what the man was doing there.

“Take this,” the man growled. He thrust the box toward Justin.

Justin looked inside the box and giggled. “A kitty?”

“Yeah, kid. Now take care of it.” The guard motioned behind him. “There’s a litter box and some food there. Get it inside.”

Justin was in awe of the small white animal that lay curled up against a ratty blanket in the box. He’d asked for a puppy for a long time, but he was perfectly happy to receive the kitten. “Okay,” Justin couldn’t resist smiling at the guard. He put the box with the kitten inside and then grabbed the litter box and bags of cat food and closed the door behind him.

He sat down on the floor and ran his fingers over the sleeping kitten’s soft fur. “Kitty, wake up,” he whispered softly.

The kitten opened his tiny eyes and looked up at Justin and purred.

Justin grabbed the kitten from the box and held him against his chest. “I’m Justin,” he said quietly. “I’m glad you’re here with me now. We’re going to best friends.”

The feline yawned and squirmed against Justin. He crawled and nestled himself against Justin’s neck and licked his face.

Justin giggled. “You’re cute. What am I going to name you? You know what? You look just like a baby Duchess from the Artistocats.”

The cat meowed and licked Justin again.

Justin smiled. “You like that name, huh?” He looked under the kitten’s tail. “I can’t tell if you’re a boy or girl yet. But I don’t think you’ll care if I call you Duchess. Will you?”

The kitten seemed to shake his head back and forth as his blue eyes batted at his little boy.

“I’m going to take good care of you,” Justin promised the kitten.

***

Thanksgiving Day 1994

Justin opened the can of turkey and gravy cat food. The small, white kitten stumbled quickly into the kitchen when it heard the sound of the electric can opener. He rubbed his face against Justin’s legs. “You’re going to have turkey for dinner,” Justin told the kitten. “It almost smells like my TV dinner.”

The kitten seemed to understand what Justin was saying and confidently traipsed over to the small kitchen table. His bowl and water sat underneath the table. She liked to be close to her human while she ate.

Justin scooped the cat food into the bowl, washed his hands and then sat down in front of his turkey and mashed potatoes dinner. He’d cooked the mashed potatoes himself, but he wasn’t able cook the tiny Turkey he’d got the way it was supposed to. He’d forgotten to take out the bag of innards because the recipe in his book didn’t say anything about it. So the turkey hadn’t cooked right and had an awful smell to it. But Justin had requested a turkey TV dinner too because he remembered his Mommy said it was hard to cook turkey. So Justin wasn’t too upset. He only wished he could eat with his family, but was happy to have his little kitten to share Thanksgiving dinner with.

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