All The World's A Stage

Chapter One “The Stage is Set”

December 7, 2007

"Daddy! Daddy!" Gus rushed out of his school, bundled up in an old winter coat Debbie had that was once Michael’s. One of Gus’ little red mitten covered hands grasped and shook a small stack of papers. He jumped down from the second to last concrete step of the school and into his father's waiting arms.

Brian smiled and laughed at his son. He gave him a warm hug and a quick peck on the cheek. “Hey, buddy, did you have a good day at your lessons?" Brian took Gus' warm gloved hand in his cold bare one and started to walk toward the parking lot where he had parked their car.

"It was the best day ever, Daddy!" Gus' hazel eyes twinkled in the afternoon sunlight, showing his father how excited he was.

Brian's identical eyes glistened right back at him. “Why was this day better than yesterday, Gus-Gus?" Brian asked lightheartedly. Gus seemed to have the best school days of any child Brian had ever known. Every day since he started first grade three months ago, Gus would tell him that each new day was the best day ever.

"Oh, Dad," Gus stopped walking and offered his father the papers in his hand. “This is why.”

"Do you mind if we get in the car first before I look at them? It is freezing out here. The sun may be shining but I was outside waiting for you for a long time and it was windy," Brian told his son, taking the papers from Gus.

"Sure, Daddy," Gus said, taking off the Spiderman backpack his Uncle Mikey had given him.

Brian was in awe of his son and wondered how his child could be so happy and carefree. He vowed to himself that he would make sure that was how the boy always would be. “I love you, Gus,” he said, receiving a smile from his child in return. He then took the boy's hand once again and started walking toward their old station wagon. As they walked, Brian listened to Gus humming the tune from Batman.

Things had changed so much since Gus was a baby. He thought back to when Gus had said his first word. Brian could clearly remember when the pudgy auburn haired baby crawled over to him with his empty juice cup and said the word Daddy as clear as day. He didn’t say Dada or Dad, but Daddy. From then on, his smart little seven month old started talking and his vocabulary grew almost too fast for Brian’s liking. In many ways, Brian wanted his son to stay a baby as long as possible, but Gus had other ideas.

Gus’ grasp of English floored his pediatrician. The progress continued and at less than one, Gus could talk in almost full sentences. The doctor recommended that Brian start him in some early development classes taught at the New York City Early Education building. He told Brian that there, Gus’ brain would be stimulated and they’d be able to see in what other avenues of growth Gus would excel.

Brian could not afford the classes because he only worked as the building super to the small apartment complex he and Gus lived in. The small amount of extra wages he earned once his rent and utilities fees were paid was very little. No matter how many hand me downs Debbie had given him or the countless thrift store bins he sifted through, Gus grew out of his clothes sometimes before Brian could find time to wash them after the first time he wore them. This made Gus’ clothing expenses high on the priority list and had Brian not nursed Gus, it would’ve been even harder for them to live off of what he earned.

However, Brian had not let the opportunity for his gifted son to receive a great education pass him by. Therefore, he did something he had once vowed that he would never do. He called his ex-lover, Daniel. Daniel was the man who had made him believe in love, the man he trusted, the man who had lied to, betrayed and eventually abandoned Brian the day he told him he was pregnant.

January 2002

"Hello, can I speak to Daniel Montgomery please?" Brian asked the secretary who picked up the phone. He was sure the old woman still recognized his voice.

"Who is calling?" she replied with an arrogant tone to her voice.

"This is Brian Kinney," he spoke, managing to keep his voice strong and even.

"Just a moment. I will have to see if he’s available to take your call,” the woman replied and put him on hold for five agonizing minutes.

While cheesy elevator music distantly played into the earpiece, Brian rehearsed what he was going to say to the man he only thought of as the sperm donor of his child.

"Hello, Brian. I wasn’t expecting your call,” the man's gruff voice cut into his thoughts. It was obvious from his tone that Daniel was more than shocked to hear from Brian. “It is quite odd to hear from you,” he spoke.

Brian couldn’t believe how arrogant the man was. Daniel spoke as though he never imagined he would hear from the man with whom he had an affair and created a child. At one time, it would’ve hurt him, but Brian had become much stronger than Daniel had ever wanted him to be. "Daniel, I need to speak with you about something important." Brian spoke strongly, or at least he hoped he did.

"About what, Brian? I have not seen or spoken to you in months," the man snipped. Really, it had been much longer than that and the quiver in his words told Brian that he knew that too.

Brian took a deep breath before courageously replying, “I need some things for Gus and I would not have called you if it was not really important that he have them."

"Gus?" Daniel asked. “Who is this Gus?"

Brian had thought Daniel couldn’t hurt him but he felt a tiny piece of his heart rip out of his chest. All the pain and lies came crashing back into his mind and the deception tore away at his courage.

***

Brian had never known about Daniel's wife, Mary. Daniel had been leading a double life with Brian. He had been using the young man from the first day they met at the cafe where Brian worked one of his many jobs while attending the ABC. Daniel had lavished Brian with gifts and sentiments. He took Brian to movies and to professional soccer games that Brian could only dream of ever getting tickets to. He also took Brian's innocence and trust and crushed it, all with one sentence. Get rid of it.

Brian could not bring himself to do such a thing to the baby inside of him so he finally packed his belongings, quit the ABC and stayed at his best friend's mother’s home. Debbie had always cared for Brian and she was eager to show him support and love. Soon after he moved in with Debbie, her brother Vic hired Brian to be the super of an apartment complex he’d recently remodeled.

***

Brian pulled the receiver away from his ear and stared at it in disbelief. He could hear Daniel asking the question once again but could not answer him. Tears flowed down his cheeks and he slammed the phone down into it's cradle.

He looked around the small studio apartment he lived in and his pain warped all that his eyes saw. It felt like the walls were closing in on him and he had to get out. He had already swallowed his pride once that day and did not have much left. He figured he'd risk it and do it again because nothing else could make him hurt so badly. He could not just let the opportunity for his child to have a great education crumble.

Debbie was watching Gus that afternoon so Brian rushed out of his home and down the ten flights of stairs. He got to the last step in the lobby, gave himself a moment to catch his breath, and then ran out of the building. He kept running down the streets of New York until he found himself in front of the Early Education Building. He got himself under control; the run had taken a lot of the pain away, and as soon as he caught his breath once again, he walked into the building.

Brian made his way to the large welcome desk and smiled at the young blonde woman who sat behind it. “Hi,” he greeted.

"Hi," she responded back to him, smiling.

Brian cleared his throat before speaking, "I was wondering if there is any kind of scholarship I could apply for? It would be for some classes my doctor recommended. He said he would fax copies of the recommendation if you need them."

The woman gave Brian a confused expression. “I don't mean to be rude but this is the early Education Building. The oldest students we deal with here are ten. I think you want the Adolescent and Young Adult Center."

Brian laughed inside and smiled at her. “Actually it's for my little boy, Gus.”

The woman stood up and smiled shyly. “Oh my! I am so sorry. How old are you?" she asked laughing at herself.

Brian was beginning to feel better because the woman actually thought he looked like a teenager. He knew he was good looking, but he did not think he looked that young. It was nice to know that the rough pregnancy and fatherhood had not aged him too much. “Actually, I'm almost twenty-four, but I thank you for making me feel so young."

“Twenty-four isn’t old.” She shook her head. The woman smiled and held out her hand. “I'm Lindsay Peterson, and you definitely don't look a day over..." she thought for a moment, eyeing him up and down, “twenty.”

Brian ran his hand through his shaggy brown locks of hair. “It's a curse,” he joked.

"So, Mr..." the blonde started.

"Kinney, Brian Kinney," he introduced himself, realizing he should have when the woman had done the same.

Lindsay smiled. “So, Mr. Kinney, you wanted to apply for a scholarship for your child? How old is he?"

"He turns one next Tuesday," Brian said with pride.

"Oh, I’m sure he’s adorable if he looks anything like you,” Lindsay told him.

“He does,” Brian blushed. “And…I’m gay.”

“Oh, well with a baby, I figured. I’m gay as well, but I can appreciate a beautiful man,” she told him.

“I don’t think I’ve had my ego stroked like this in a long time,” he whispered.

“I am going to find you some papers to fill out. It is a questionnaire about your financial status. Someone local will sponsor every one of the children who receive aid, but you will not know the name of who it is that is sponsoring them because of confidentiality issues. However, they will know your child's name and check on his progress if they choose to."

"That sounds fine," Brian said, surprised and excited that the process would be so easy.

Lindsay gave him the paperwork to fill out and a few minutes later, he handed it back completed. “Thank you so much, Lindsay. You have been a huge help."

"No problem, Brian. I'll put a rush on these and see if they can get you and Gus in the program as soon as possible." Lindsay looked at her watch and then back at Brian. Sensing that the young man was in need of a friend, she asked, “Brian, I was going to take my lunch break now. Would you like to come have lunch with me?"

Brian had to think of whether he could spare the extra couple bucks.

Lindsay saw Brian pat his pockets and noticed the concerned look on his face, guessing that he was probably counting how much money he could spare. "I made my own lunch today but I always make two sandwiches, in case I get really hungry. It's turkey on whole wheat, and I'll even share my sunchips with you."

Brian checked his watch and then gave the blonde a shy smile. “Thank you; I'd like that, Lindsay."

From that day forward, Lindsay and her partner Melanie had been a part of Gus and Brian's lives. Gus was accepted into the gifted learning classes and Brian received financial support to not only send Gus to the classes at the Learning Center, but as well to New York's Academy for Gifted Youth when he was old enough to attend.

December 7, 2007

Brian buckled his son into his booster car seat in the back and turned on the car to heat it up. He had to make sure to get the engine warmed up for a few minutes when it was cold or the battery would die on him. He’d made that mistake a few days before and had nearly caused an accident on his way to pick Gus up from school.

"Read the papers, Daddy," Gus prompted.

"Ok, Gus-Gus." Brian picked up the small packet and began to flip through them.

The first three papers was an itinerary of some sort. On the last page was a permission slip to attend the fieldtrip described in the itinerary. There was also a space for any volunteer parents willing to be a chaperone on the trip to the ballet.

"So you want to go to the ballet, Gus?" Brian asked.

"Oh yes, Daddy! Grandma Deb took Jenny and Hart last year and Jenny was only three, Dad. Now I am six! Aunt Lindsay already told Hart that she could go when she came to pick her up for her dentist appointment this afternoon. Oh Daddy, can I please go? And I want you to come too," Gus squealed.

Jenny was the daughter Brian's best friend Michael shared with Lindsay and her partner Melanie. Three years before, they took in Hart from foster care. The little girl and Gus were inseparable. They had most of their classes together at school and Hart was a regular sleepover guest at their apartment.

When Deb had won three tickets to the New York Ballet last year, she took her granddaughter and Hart, much to Gus' dismay. Brian assumed Debbie thought that Brian would not want Gus to go. However, Brian would never deny his son anything if he could give it to him, no matter what.

It turned out that Gus loved to dance, and he even convinced Brian to sign him up for some dance classes at his school that year. Gus did not have to deal with prejudices regarding him taking ballet. Most students at the academy took some sort of dance class as part of the curriculum.

Gus had been getting ready for his school’s winter recital all month long. They were performing “The Nutcracker Suite”. Gus' age group all played little toys. Gus constantly talked about how much fun it was for him. Brian could not have been more proud of his son. It seemed that being danseur definitely ran in his child’s blood.

Brian read that the school was scheduling a trip to see the same ballet performance at the ABC next Saturday. The children's recital performed next week, the night before Christmas Eve. Tickets for the field trip were forty-five dollars for each child. However, the school would provide the chaperone tickets, so he wouldn’t have to worry about getting that money together.

During the holidays, Brian's budget was tighter than it normally was, but he knew how much his baby boy wanted to go to the ballet. He figured that he would just have to stretch his budget a little more. He reasoned that he could shut the heat off in his apartment and bundle up in blankets while Gus was at school during the day. That would surely save some money and he thought that he could probably only take a shower every other day, that would save money too. This Christmas present, unlike getting him a toy he wanted, he would be able to share with his son if he went along.

“Gus would you really like me to go with you to the ballet?" Brian asked.

"Oh, yes Daddy, please, please!" Gus shouted from the back seat.

***

December 15, 2007

Brian held Hart's hand in one of his and Gus' hand in the other. He tried to get his nerves under control as he entered the large auditorium for the first time in seven years.