Chapter 11 - Getting to Meet Gus.
Why was it that confrontation was so difficult for a man like Brian Kinney? The persona he liked to present was one of supreme self confidence, disdain for anyone whose opinions differed from his and always cool-headed. He had absolutely no qualms about making an ad pitch to even the most sceptical of business owners - in fact, he especially delighted in bringing his in-your-face brand of campaign ideas to normally conservative businessmen and then forcing them to admit that the idea was brilliant. Public sex - no problem! ‘Out & Proud’ was how he’d lived his life from the time he left Jack Kinney’s house. So, why was he standing in the bedroom of his loft almost shaking at the thought of confronting a teenager?
-Get a grip, Kinney. You just walk out there and lay down the law. This IS your place. You’ve done this kid a favor . . . hell a LOT of favors . . . He needs to follow the rules . . . Fuck - what ARE the fucking rules? I’ve never done this before. He’s only been here two days . . . How could I have become such a fucking pussy already? . . . Okay, I’ll make rules and he’ll just have to listen. Right? . . . Yeah, right - who am I kidding - that kid doesn’t strike me as the type to follow the rules. I’m so fucked!
Taking a deep breath and pulling his shoulders back, he put on his ‘confident’ face and strode out of the bedroom ready to do this. Walking down the two steps from his bedroom to the main floor level and into the open space of the loft, he immediately saw Justin sitting at the dining room table with a fresh made pot of coffee in front of him. Another deep breath and Brian headed that way, mentally rehearsing what he was going to say.
His resolve lasted up until Justin looked up at him and smiled that heart-melting smile the boy seemed to have. That’s when all the carefully planned arguments and rules he’d come up with vanished out of his brain completely. Brian was left with only a silly little return grin for the imperturbable young man and weak knees. He sat down immediately, looked down at the table to avoid the killer smile, and tried to compose himself anew.
“Brian,” Justin started. His voice was hushed but not at all hesitant. “We need to talk.”
“That was supposed to be my line, Sunshine,” Brian finally looked back up into Justin’s sparkling blue eyes and when Justin chuckled a little, Brian joined in.
“Look, Justin.” Brian remembered, at last, what he’d been planning to say. “We have to set some ground rules - at least until you’re totally healed and the doctors tell us you’re out of danger. Okay? I just can’t keep going like this. You have to stop teasing and propositioning me - I’m not made out of steel, you know.” He held a hand up to stop Justin, who looked about to interrupt. “Just hear me out, okay? This is what I propose: You agree to back off until the doctor gives you the all clear and I promise that as soon as we do get that green light from Doc Tremain, I will give you the most fucking fantastic night of your entire twinkie life.”
Justin felt the tell-tale heat rising up from his chest, knowing he was blushing. He bit his lip to keep back the smile that he knew would escape if he didn’t control himself. Justin still had a few things he wanted to clear up before he agreed to Brian’s, admittedly captivating, proposal.
“Fine. But I want some things too, Brian,” Justin spoke up, ignoring the look of shock on the other man’s face at the idea that he’d had the balls to make stipulations. “If I’m not getting any, then neither are you.” Justin tried to keep his voice quiet but firm as he went on. “That means no more tricks, at least for the time being. I don’t care what we might have agreed to before - that was then and this is now. Maybe that baseball bat changed more than the shape of my skull, but all I know is I’m NOT going to just sit back and watch you taking tricks to the backroom while I have to sit on my hands for another week. It’s not fair to me - I was hurt and embarrassed last night in front of the guys and . . ." Justin faltered just a bit, but plowed on. “I . . . I want to be with you, Brian. And I want you to want to be with me. So, until we can be together, you’re going to have to keep your dick in your pants.” Justin had said his piece and now he leaned back in his chair, not releasing Brian’s eyes from his, and waited patiently for the now furious man’s response.
-How dare this pushy little twink . . . Who the fuck does he think he is? Nobody tells Brian Fucking Kinney who he can do or when . . . Damn, this kid has balls the size of watermelons! He looks like he’s about twelve, sitting there in those oversized sweats - my sweats, by the way - but he’s fucking braver than . . . I don’t know - whatever the fuck is brave . . . Could I even do it? Go a whole fucking week without fucking? I don’t think I’ve gone that long since . . . I’ve never gone that long. Shit . . . He did look so fucking hurt last night . . . It’s not fair to him? Looking at me with those goddamned gorgeous blue eyes brimming with tears is what’s not fair . . . Shit, he still hasn’t said anything - he’s just sitting there staring at me with those delicious lips pouting at me. . . . . Those lips. What I wouldn’t give to put those lips to really good use, wrapped around my cock . . . Ohhhh . . . And, I’ll take this morning’s wake up call over my fucking alarm clock any day - if only I could have . . . Fuck, I don’t have time for another cold shower . . . Shit. I’m so fucked.
It took a full five minutes or more for Brian to mull over Justin’s little speech. Justin could almost see the hamster wheels furiously spinning in the brunet’s brain as a host of conflicting, and likely foreign, emotions cascaded over the beautiful, masculine face. While Brian had been in the shower, Justin had been sitting there thinking about what he would do if Brian said no to him. He still had no idea what he would do or where he would go if this didn’t work. He didn’t care though - he wouldn’t just sit back and watch Brian go with other men. Especially not if Brian wouldn’t be fucking him. Fuck whatever they might have agreed to before. Justin was not going to agree to anything like that now.
“Fine.”
Brian’s response was mumbled and so faint that Justin almost wasn’t sure he’d heard it at first. But, when the brunet just continued to sit there staring at the table top, not saying anything more, Justin set his smile free. Still trying to contain his glee, though, Justin pushed on, adding his other stipulations.
‘Thank you, Brian. I just want to be sure, though, that I know what is allowed and what isn’t. Okay? You’re going to have to define ‘back off'. I mean, am I allowed to kiss you and hold your hand at least? Are you going to make me sleep on the couch? What?” Justin persisted.
“Of course you’re not going to sleep on the couch,” Brian was adamant. “Just, well, maybe we should keep our briefs on, you know.”
“And the kissing?”
Brian had apparently had all the talking he could handle for one morning. His response this time was to lean over, hooking Justin behind the neck to pull him closer, and plant a crushing, wet kiss on the dangerously provocative lips. Brian carefully pulled back though when he sensed the kiss was moving on towards something more.
“You hungry?” Brian smiled down at the slightly breathless blond and got up to get them both something to eat now that things had been resolved - even if they hadn’t been resolved in exactly the manner he had planned.
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The rest of the day went pretty well. Justin had been brilliant again and come up with a whole new approach for the Genius Bagel Company’s national campaign. Brian thought the boy must have been hungry when he was working on those boards because he’d somehow made the bagels look so appetizing he had Brian salivating. The afternoon had been topped off by Ted announcing that they’d received signed contracts from another client with a two year commitment that would mean close to $500,000 in profits for the brand new ad agency. Time to celebrate, thought Brian, and he graciously told everyone to take off for the rest of the day.
Justin was rambling around in his office, waiting while Brian packed a few files he wanted to look over at home into his briefcase, when he came across a photo of Brian holding a small boy. He remembered seeing it yesterday, but had been too distracted by the prospect of starting his new job and had forgotten to comment on it. He picked up the photo and brought it over to Brian’s desk.
“Brian?” Justin laid the picture down and looked into the beautiful hazel eyes with his own questioning blue ones.
Brian sat back down in his oversized, black leather office chair and pulled Justin onto his lap. He then picked up the framed photo in one hand while securing the blond with the other.
“That’s Gus - my son.”
“You have a son? Wow. I didn’t see that coming at all,” Justin was at a loss as to what else to say.
Brian then explained about his relationship with Lindsey and Mel and how he came to be a drop-in Dad to the adorable little toddler. He quickly determined that he could never get Lindsey, let alone Mel, to go along with the same charade the boys had been talked into. He was going to have to play this one differently.
“They haven’t met you yet,” he honestly told Justin. “I don’t really see Gus as much as I probably should. Mel and I . . . well, let’s just say our relationship is challenging. Anyway, I would like you to meet them and Gus. If you want to?”
“I’d love that, Brian,” and Justin’s beaming smile as he said it proved he was earnest. “We could ask them for dinner. I could cook - I think I can cook, that is. When can we do it?” Justin was off already, planning in his head the whole thing, not waiting for Brian’s agreement in his boundless enthusiasm. He was already prattling on about what he should make for dinner and what he’d have to pick up at the store, when Brian interrupted him with an impulsive kiss, effectively stopping Justin’s tirade.
“You’re adorable, you know that,” Brian heard himself say.
-Where the fuck did that come from? . . . If I didn’t feel my dick already getting stiff from Justin wiggling on my lap, I’d be worried it had fallen off. Get a grip, Kinney.
Standing up so abruptly he almost toppled the now radiant blond, he made a show of bustling about and getting ready to leave. Brian Kinney didn’t DO sentiment - he had to remind himself. He bit his tongue before any more drivel could escape and silently gestured toward the door for Justin to precede him out.
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“Hey, Lindz,” Brian had been hounded into making the call and setting up the dinner for the past three hours and was finally giving in to Justin’s pleading. He wasn’t exactly sure how to do this though - he’d NEVER invited anyone over to his loft for dinner before. “Um . . . so, I wanted to see if you and Mel and Gus were available tomorrow night.” There, that was innocuous enough right?
“I think so, Brian. Did you want to come over and see Gus?” Lindsey replied, happy that Brian was taking the initiative to see his son.
“No . . . I, uh . . . I wanted to invite you guys over here for dinner.” Fuck it - might as well just dive right in Brian decided.
“At your loft? You’re inviting us to DINNER at YOUR loft? Are you feeling okay, Brian?” Lindsey was more than a little thrown by this unheard of overture.
“Yes, that IS what I just said, isn’t it? Did I mumble or something? I want you to come over here for dinner tomorrow night and bring Gus.” Lindsey wasn’t making this any easier, Brian thought.
“Okay, well, of course we’ll be there. I couldn’t pass up this once-in-a-lifetime offer, now could I? Are YOU cooking?” Lindsey sounded a little concerned over that prospect.
“Fuck no! When have I EVER cooked, Wendy?” Brian took a deep breath, thinking to get the real shock over with. “I want you to meet someone. He’s the cook.”
“You’re shitting me, Brian!” The uncharacteristic profanity was a clear indication of Lindsey’s amazement. “You’re seeing someone? For real? Hold on a sec while I make sure there aren’t any pigs flying past my windows.”
“So, are you coming or not?” Brian thought retreat was his best option, before Lindsey could hurl ten thousand additional astonished questions at him.
“What time?” Lindsey was determined NOT to miss this.
After a brief pause, Brian responded, “Justin says 7:00. Later.” Brian ended the call and groaned aloud. This was likely to get really messy and uncomfortable. But the alternative was having to put up with the incessant nagging from the boisterous bouncing blond boy now darting around the loft in his excitement and he knew he couldn’t have told him no.
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Justin had been an annoying ball of energy all day. Brian was about ready to bolt. If it wasn’t for the prospect of seeing Gus, he would have already. Out of pure self-defense, he had finally parked himself at his computer, surfing the internet, answering email and generally zoning out everything else, especially Justin. His glowering and muttering had apparently been sufficient to keep the whirling blond dynamo at bay and Brian was finally beginning to calm down.
By 6:00 pm the shopping had been done, the loft had been cleaned from top to bottom (why - Brian had no idea since that was why he had a cleaning service), the table was set and the dinner was cooked and waiting in the oven. Justin had even found the time to borrow Brian’s credit card and drive clear out to the fucking mall to get something to wear - this time without the well-meaning assistance of the overly-flamboyant Emmett - and had returned with several 'Gap’ and ‘Macy’s’ bags, to Brian’s utter contempt. Now the only thing left to do was to get showered and dressed.
Justin had let Brian withdraw behind his imaginary protective walls and retreat to the privacy of his desk. He sensed that this dinner was going to be quite difficult for the man. He wasn’t completely clear on why - but he was sensitive enough to Brian’s moods by now to tell that Brian wasn’t so much angry, but rather afraid. That was a bit of an eye-opener to Justin, who couldn’t imagine anything that could scare the amazing, strong, bold man he’d come to know, let alone the prospect of a simple dinner party. It made him even more curious about what their relationship had been like before the bashing - before he’d lost his memories.
But it was time to bring the man back out of hiding - enough sulking in silence, thought Justin. The determined young man wiped off his hands on the damp kitchen towel and headed over towards the desk. He figured that a simple backrub probably wouldn’t violate Brian’s ‘no-seduction’ rule, but would relax them both.
Brian actually jumped a little at the soft touch of Justin’s hands on his shoulders, but he didn’t say anything and didn’t try to shrug them off. Justin went to work, massaging the tense shoulder muscles with strong, skilled fingers. He could feel the knots of tension in the man’s back and shoulders and worked at them firmly but without digging until he felt each one soften and the muscle relax. Brian had stopped working and dropped the computer mouse, sitting there passively with his head drooping forward. Justin kept at it, rubbing the tense neck muscles, the shoulders, the upper back, even briefly massaging the man’s scalp and temples, until he couldn’t feel any more tension knots and Brian’s occasional murmurs of pleasure indicated he was about to melt into a ball of putty.
“Why don’t you go get a shower and get dressed,” Justin whispered in Brian’s ear, ending with a delicate, feather-light kiss on the nape of his now pliant neck.
The now docile Brian said nothing as he followed the blond’s directions, showered and dressed. When he emerged from the bedroom, Justin greeted him with a glass of Jim Beam and a kiss and told him to put on some music and relax on the couch until the girls and Gus arrived. Then Justin scampered into the bathroom to get himself ready, laughing quietly to himself at just how tractable Brian was being, but knowing better than to say anything.
Justin heard the door buzzer and then, a moment or two later, the heavy loft door opening just as he was slipping on the comfortable grey chinos and pulling the soft, light blue, brushed cotton sweater over his head. He casually ran his fingers through his hair to make sure it wasn’t too messy and eagerly hopped down the stairs to meet his guests.
Brian was busy handing a tall elegant blonde woman a glass of the cabernet sauvignon Justin had decanted earlier. Another smaller brunette woman was standing near the kitchen island holding a dark haired, wide-eyed toddler, who was already squirming to be let down. Justin skipped over to stand next to Brian and looped his arm through the taller man’s.
“Hi, everyone,” Justin couldn’t control the excitement in his voice.
“Justin, this is Lindsey and her partner Melanie,” Brian began the introductions, gesturing first to the blonde and then the brunette. Then, scooping the struggling toddler from Melanie’s arms, he continued, “and this munchkin, is Gus.” Brian’s eyes lit up as he smiled down at the now compliant boy. “Everyone, this is Justin.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, Justin.” Lindsey was the first to come forward, pulling the surprised young man into a tight hug. “You could have knocked me over with a feather when Brian called yesterday to invite us over and he told us he wanted us to meet you.”
“You must be something special to have finally tamed the ‘Stud of Liberty Avenue,” added Mel, offering her hand to shake Justin’s.
Justin was about to respond when Brian offered a simple, quiet, “he is.”
Justin beamed his bright, unquenchable smile at the magnificent brunet and squeezed the man’s arm affectionately. Lindsey and Mel exchanged a befuddled look and said nothing. Brian, suddenly uncomfortable with all the attention, began walking towards the living room area and put Gus down on a large fluffy floor cushion. Justin quickly ran over to the counter near the door and then back with a brightly wrapped and beribboned package which he sat down in front of the little boy.
“I hope you don’t mind. I was out shopping today, and I was so excited to meet Gus, that I couldn’t help myself when I saw this at the store,” Justin explained to the mothers, while Brian seated himself next to the boy and tried to help him unwrap his gift.
After Brian removed the bow, Gus tore the paper off to uncover a Crayola Wonder Traveling Kit. Lindsay and Mel both looked at Justin in confusion so the young artist hurriedly explained that these markers wouldn’t write on anything other than the special paper, so it was completely mess free and therefore perfect for a toddler. Brian had already opened the packaging and was playing with his son’s new toy.
“This is pretty cool, Sunshine,” Brian enthused. “I’ve never seen anything like this.” Brian was happily engaged in showing Gus how to hold the pens and make the ‘magic’ drawings appear and the boy was jabbering to his Dad all about the amazing pictures appearing on the the paper.
Lindsey and Mel again exchanged amazed looks, unsure if the man sitting at their feet was really the Brian Kinney they thought they knew. Mel mouthed the word ‘Sunshine’ at Lindsey, who shrugged her shoulders. Justin missed the silent conversation. He was standing next to Brian, his hand lying lightly against the back of the brunet head, as he happily regarded the man and boy playing together.
“Thank you, Justin. What a thoughtful present,” Lindsey finally managed.
“Justin’s an artist, so it’s no wonder he couldn’t resist buying markers,” Brian piped up. “He’s already given me a list of art supplies he wants for Kinnetik about two pages long.” Brian directed a tongue-in-cheek half smile in Justin’s direction and the young artist responded with a playful slug directed at the man’s shoulder.
“Kinnetik?” Mel asked.
“Yeah. Brian hired me to work in the art department for him. It’s been great, so far,” Justin added. “Now, enough play time for you two. Why don’t you escort everyone to the table, Brian and I’ll get dinner out of the oven.”
Three hours later, the girls were bundling a sleeping Gus into the childseat of their car. Neither had said anything since they’d left Brian and Justin standing arm in arm at the loft door. The evening had gone wonderfully - dinner was superb, the conversation had been amenable, and Brian had been on his best behavior. Except for the few awkward moments when the men had tried to explain the bandage Justin was still sporting and his memory loss, which explained away most of the vague answers they’d been given about how Brian and Justin had met and how long they’d known each other, this had been the most relaxing and enjoyable evening either woman could remember spending with Brian Kinney. That, in itself, was very troubling.
Mel couldn’t help it. She had to say it. “Who was that man and what has he done with Brian Kinney.” Both women collapsed against the side of their car with laughter.