Chapter Eight: “Heartbreak Quake”

3rd Person P.O.V. - Saturday, June 5th 2006

New York

“What the fuck do you mean no one knows where he’s at?” Mica screeched at her husband.

Robbie paced their living room floor. “Look. It’s not like I can tell anyone exactly why I want to know.”

“Yeah, well you better figure out something quick, Robbie.” Mica stood up from the sofa, put her hands on her hips and glared at her husband. “If you don’t find him we’re going to be cut off real soon. My Dad keeps asking me if everything is all right with the baby because my belly isn’t growing. I can’t keep up with this charade much longer. I can’t keep pretending that I…that I didn’t…” the girl trailed off as tears cascaded down her tan cheeks. “He’s going to be so angry with me.”

Robbie took his wife in his arms and patted her back. “Shhh…don’t cry, Mica.”

Mica dried her eyes with Robbie’s suit handkerchief and took deep calming breaths. “I just can’t do it, Robbie. I keep getting all these baby clothes and I had to turn down going shopping for baby furniture with your mother today. Both of our parents keep asking me when they can start telling people that I’m pregnant. You’ve got to find Justin before I go crazy.”

“I don’t know who else to ask. None of our old group of friends ever really liked him because they thought he was too bookish. They didn’t care enough about him to know anything about where he went. The last everyone heard, he was staying with his Great Aunt in Jersey, but he isn’t there. No one at school has any idea that he was pregnant, if he still is. For all I know, his parents could’ve made him get an abortion then sent him off on some sweet vacation to make up for it.”

“You were best friends. Why don’t you know where he is?” Mica asked in exasperation, completely forgetting that Robbie and Justin’s friendship was usually one-sided. “You should know something about where he might’ve been sent to after his aunt’s house!”

“Maybe I don’t because I never asked or he never told me. Jesus, Mica, I still don’t know if the child is mine. He said that it was, but who knows? I cheated on him with you technically twice. He may not have been as faithful and innocent as he seems you know. He didn’t tell me everything about him.”

“Whatever, Robbie. You wouldn’t have brought it up if you didn’t at least think there was a possibility that you were his kid’s father. So you have to be able to find you kid,” Mica demanded.

“His family is obviously hiding his little secret. No one knows he’s pregnant if he is. Everyone at school all thinks that he was staying with his aunt because she was sick. He was graduating at he beginning of January, so he might’ve already gone to a University.”

“Then call the Universities and ask if he’s enrolled,” Mica suggested desperately.

“I contacted every place that his Father would ever consider sending him to. He isn’t enrolled anywhere, Mica,” Robbie explained, sitting back down on the couch.

Mica stood over him. “Your parents don’t even know where he is?”

“Why would they know? The Taylors don’t associate with the Lancasters unless they have to. My family is barely a blip on their radar since the only money we have is old used up money my Great Grandfather left us. And, we all know that’s pretty much why they don’t associate with yours too.”

“Yeah, well… my family never wanted to be part of there elitist crowd anyway!” Mica yelled. “Hey… wait a minute. I have an idea, Robbie.”

Robbie pulled Mica down to sit beside him. “Why do I feel like I should be afraid?”

“You shouldn’t be,” Mica smirked. “But the Taylors should be.”

Robbie nodded. “I’m listening.”

“Well, how about we turn their ignorance around, so that it’ll benefit us,” the girl suggested, grinning evilly.

“And, how are we going to do that?” Robbie wondered, confused.

“Do you think they have any idea we got married?”

“Like I said, we’re not even on their radar so there is a good chance they don’t. Why?”

“If they don’t know we’re married, then maybe you can ask his mother where he is.”

“There’s no way Jennifer will tell me, Mica. First of all, I’m pretty sure that Justin didn’t even tell them that I’m the baby’s father. In fact, they probably thought so and he probably denied it.”

“Why do you think that if he told you it was yours?” Mica asked.

“Because I know how Craig Taylor works. That asshole would’ve called my parents and would’ve demanded that we get married.”

“Or you’re right about him getting an abortion and they just didn’t want to tell you.”

“Either way, he would’ve at least called my parents and made me pay for it,” Robbie assured her. “There’s no way they would’ve done that. That baby is alive and Justin is probably set up somewhere waiting to deliver it and probably put it up for adoption or something.”

“Are you sure, Robbie?”

“Positive. Craig would have demanded that I pay for it, even if it’s just a dime in a bucket of billions to him. He thinks he lives his life on principals and likes to force them onto others.”

“Well, you’ll have to sneak around Craig and approach his mom. I bet if you could talk to her you might be able to find Justin. If you tell her that he told you that you weren’t the father, but that now you’ve had a change in heart and want to be the baby’s father and marry Justin, she might tell you where he is.”

“I dunno,” Robbie sighed. “Jennifer might think it’s odd that after all this time I suddenly show up.”

“Then play her,” Mica instructed playfully. “Cry if you have to. Give her a sob story about how much you know you and Justin are perfect for each other and there may be a chance he’s carrying your baby. Tell her you’ll take care of Justin, love him, all that crap. Make her believe you Robert. It’s our only chance.”

“What if she tells me where he is? What do we do then?”

“We go on our honeymoon,” Mica smiled. “After graduation we’re both free to do as we please and I’m sure our parents would at least allow us that.”

“But, we’d really be going to see Justin?”

Mica rolled her eyes at her clueless husband. “Of course.”

***

Saturday, June 10, 2006 - Ireland

“What are you so happy about this morning?”

Justin shrugged at Brian’s question and continued to whip the eggs in the metal bowl while humming the tune he’d been singing all morning.

Brian put down the paper he was reading and came up behind Justin, circling his arms around the younger man. “Tell me,” he prompted the blond.

“Can’t I just be happy?” Justin wondered.

Brian laughed and kissed Justin’s neck lightly before moving away from the man. “Of course you can. In fact, I’d hope for your happiness more than any one else’s.”

Justin dropped the fork in the bowl and raised his eyebrows at Brian. “Why do you say things like that to me?”

Brian shrugged. “What’s wrong with me wanting you to be happy?”

“Nothing, unless it comes at the cost of your happiness, Brian.”

Brian groaned and rolled his eyes dramatically. “Are you ever going to stop second guessing what you mean to me?”

Justin felt his heart accelerate in reaction to Brian’s words and as he realized this, fear bloomed from within him. He grabbed the fork and started to whisk the eggs again, keeping his eyes down he asked, “What exactly is that, Brian?”

“You’re my best friend,” Brian told him. There was no way in hell he could tell Justin the truth yet. There was too much at stake. He’d have to be patient and bide his time and wait for Justin to wake up to the reality.

Justin sighed to himself. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed in Brian’s answer because in the last month he and Brian had grown extremely close. On the days when Brian could spare the time off of work, which was often; they would go shopping for stuff for the baby or have picnics in the park beside Brian’s building. Justin had filled four sketchbooks of Brian and Brian had taken numerous pictures of them visiting all the wonderful historical landmarks in Ireland.

They spent their nights reading together or watching movies. Sometimes, Justin would get out his sketch book in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep and draw Brian. This all happened in the master bedroom they now shared. Above it’s door, Brian had customarily placed the lover’s knot they’d been given at their wedding. Justin tried not to think too much about that, but it was as though his eyes were drawn to it every time he walked into the hall. Betsy had insisted that it be placed there because she feared that someone did come into their home and not see it there, they would think that he and Brian were no longer in love.

Justin and Betsy formed an even stronger bond within the last month. The weather had gotten nicer and the woman insisted on the two of them going outside to pain in the garden. This way, Justin would be able to work with the paint, as previously he’d only done sketches and used chalks and oil pastels as they worked. They would sit outside in the middle of the lush garden and paint all day, until Brian would call them back inside when he was ready to leave in the evening.

Their styles were different, but Betsy and Justin both loved seeing the different interpretations each of them created when painting the same subject. They only had to finish up a few details on their paintings of the Bells of Ireland. Both would be placed beside each other on the empty walls in the apartment’s hallway.

While they painted they would discuss everything under the sun. Betsy was a wonderful storyteller. Besides the walks through the castle and the history she told Justin of it, she also would share historical tales about the Kinney family and magical romantic tales too.

Justin told Betsy about all of his dreams and fantasies for his life. They often stayed off the subject of men, though Betsy would at times go on and on to Justin about how wonderful he and Brian would be together if only Justin would get over Robbie. She made no bones about divulging her wishes for Justin and Brian’s marriage to be real and told Justin that she couldn’t speak for Brian, but was sure that Brian loved him. Justin tried to explain that it wasn’t possible many times, but the old woman dismissed him.

Betsy would usually change the subject and talk about the baby at that point, or rather her grandchild, as that is how she referred to Emma. Justin knew this made her happy and he knew that his daughter would always be bound to Betsy in a way, so he accepted the title happily. Though when she would slip into her fantasies and refer to Brian as the baby’s Da’, it made Justin extremely uncomfortable. Justin never told her that though, he didn’t want to hurt her.

Through these talks with Betsy, Justin learned of Brian’s past which the man had always diverted from speaking about whenever Justin would ask him to. He’d been hesitant when Betsy had first began talking to him about it, but she assured him that it wasn’t anything Brian was hiding, it was just very painful to him and she’d already asked Brian’s permission to tell him about it. Justin secretly hoped that Brian would find the courage to tell him personally one day. He’d shared so much with Brian; he hoped the older man would trust him in the same way.

“Justin? Justin?”

Justin looked up at Brian. “What?”

Brian laughed at the blond. “While you were lost in thought I think you’ve beaten the eggs to death.”

Justin looked down into the bowl; the egg mixture was practically completely foam. “Shit!”

“Just toss it,” Brian told him. “Let me take you out to…”

“A little place you love?” Justin laughed, finishing Brian’s sentence. It was what the brunet would say whenever he wanted to take him somewhere new to eat.

“Yeah.” Brian grabbed the bowl out of Justin’s hands and threw it in the sink. He looked into Justin’s eyes and placed one hand onto his stomach and spoke softly, “A little place I love.”

Justin was sure that had he not been holding onto the island with one of his hands, he would’ve fallen over. He did his best to keep from blushing and nodded, stepping away from Brian. “Let me go get changed.”

Brian watched as Justin disappeared into his bedroom. He wondered what the boy had been thinking so deeply about while he whisked the eggs and was pretty sure that it was all about him.

***

Monday, June 12th, 2006 - New York

“Hi, Mrs. Taylor.”

“Come in, Robbie,” Jennifer said, her voice uncertain.

“Thank you,” the young man said, trying his hardest to sound sincere.

Jennifer led Robbie into the living room and motioned for him to sit down on the couch across from her chair. “You know that Justin isn’t here don’t you?”

Robbie nodded. “I do. That’s why I’m here. I’m trying to find him.”

“Why now?” Jennifer wondered skeptically. “He’s been gone for months.”

Robbie batted his dark brown lashes and put on a sad face. “I know, but I thought he’d be coming back.”

Jennifer scrunched up her face in confusion. “Why?” she asked contritely.

“Jennifer, I don’t think he’s still visiting with his aunt.”

“Why is that your business?” Jennifer demanded.

“I know Justin is pregnant,” Robbie revealed.

Jennifer gasped. “You do? He said that he hadn’t told anyone.”

“He…he told me he was. But, he also told me that the child could be mine,” Robbie admitted.

“What?” Jennifer stood up. “When did he tell you that?”

Robbie tried his hardest to look pitiful as he spoke. “He told me that it could be, but he said he was sure it was someone else’s. We’d only had sex one time and….”

“And you come here now?” Jennifer yelled in disbelief. “After all this time!”

Robbie cheered silently as he felt tears wash into his eyes. He whispered, “Jennifer, I think he only told me that because he loved me and didn’t want to burden me or something. I was hurt when he said that it could be someone else’s. I thought he loved me; I didn’t know understand how he could have cheated on me. I was angry for a long time at him because I thought that he just threw our love away. But I’ve really missed him and somehow the anger lessened lately and I’m thinking more clearly. I realized that even if there is the slightest possibility that the baby could be mine, then I need to find him.” Robbie broke down and sobbed into his hands. “I want the baby and I want him, even if the baby’s not mine I have this horrible feeling that Justin is hurt and he needs me. I love him and I want to take care of him, Jennifer. He was my best friend and now he may be carrying our baby. I have to find him. It’s been horrible trying to live without him.”

Jennifer didn’t like seeing the boy cry so desperately. She understood where he was coming from, she didn’t want to live without Justin in her life either. She sat down next to him on the couch and patted his back comfortingly. “What if the baby isn’t yours, Robbie?” she asked softly.

Robbie looked up at Jennifer and wiped his eyes. “What do you mean?” he whined.

“If the baby isn’t yours…would you still want my son in your life? Would you want his child?”

“Of course,” the young man spoke quickly. Robbie took a deep breath and wiped his crocodile tears from his face. He looked into the woman’s trusting blue eyes and spoke with deceiving passion, “I’d marry him, Jennifer, if… if you gave us your permission. If he’ll have me. But you have to tell me where he is. I love him.”

“What if he is with someone else, Robbie?”

Robbie frowned. “Is that where he is? He’s with some guy?”

Jennifer sighed and said softly, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know where he is!” Robbie gasped. “Do you know if he’s still pregnant?”

“Calm down, Robbie,” Jennifer said, flustered at the boy’s outburst. “Unless he’s already given birth for some bad reason, he is still pregnant. He didn’t tell me or his father until he was too far along to have an abortion. You don’t have to worry, Justin wants to raise his baby.”

“Sorry,” Robbie collected himself but seethed with the news and the problems it would cause him. “I’m just so worried about him.”

“Justin is in Dublin,” Jen revealed.

“What’s he doing in Ohio?” Robbie asked, trying to think if Justin had ever mentioned any family living there.

“Not that Dublin, Robbie. He’s in Ireland,” Jennifer explained.

“What? Why is he there?” Robbie asked in fake worry.

“His father wanted him to give the baby up for adoption. He was supposed to go stay with a friend of mine while I figured out what to do, but he cashed in the first class ticket and flew to Ireland instead. He doesn’t know that I even know he’s there, or well… I’m sure he knows that I realize he’s not in France.”

“But why would he go to Ireland?”

“Robbie,” Jennifer sighed sadly. “I don’t know for sure. I think he’s staying with a friend there. I’m too afraid to contact him just yet. I don’t want to scare him or have Craig find out. Molly and I were planning on going to see him in a couple weeks.”

“Well I want to go see him now,” Robbie told her. “I need to make sure he’s okay. Do you have this friend’s address?”

Jennifer nodded. “Yes. Though he may not be staying there any longer.”

“Well it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?” Robbie tried to keep his voice happy, though he was pissed that he’d have to fly half-way around the world to find his ex boyfriend.

“I guess not,” Jennifer told him. “But do me a favor and if you find him, don’t tell him I’m planning on coming out there if you guys aren’t going to come back to New York right away.”

“Okay Mrs. Taylor, I won’t. Thank you for helping me.”

“You let me know if you find him, Robbie,” Jennifer told him sternly. “Call me and tell me how he is. Either way, I will be flying out there soon.” She didn’t want to tell the boy how soon just in case it were her and Molly that was able to arrive first. She wasn’t sure she wanted Robbie going along with the both of them because it would be a huge shock to Justin to see all three of them at once.

“I will,” Robbie falsely promised. “I’ll call as soon as I find him.”

Jennifer stood up and walked Robbie to the door. “When are you leaving?” she asked, hoping it wasn’t too soon.

“Friday,” Robbie answered. “When do you plan to leave?”

“Not for a few weeks yet,” Jennifer lied and inwardly cursed the fact that Robbie would be there at the same time.

He gave her a gentle wave and slipped out the door, a devious smirk, firmly planted on his face as he walked down the hall.

***

Friday June 16th 2006 - Ireland

“Brian?” Justin gently knocked on the spare room’s door. He wiped the tears from his eyes and tried his best to gain strength. He spoke softly as he knocked a little harder. “Brian, please. I’m so worried about you, you’ve been in there for hours, it’s after midnight, please just let me in or come out and come to bed.”

The blond waited for a few more minutes, calling out Brian’s name a couple of more times. He got the same response he’d received ever since Brian locked himself in the room after they came back from Betsy’s funeral. Justin’s feet hurt from standing outside the door for the last half hour and though he didn’t think he could sleep, he knew that he needed to lie down.

Justin went to his room. He kept his belongings in there, but he’d only slept there the last four nights. Brian’s cousin Kathleen drove him back to the apartment shortly after Betsy passed away at the hospital. The older man had told Kathleen to tell Justin that he’d be staying at the family home, but Justin had only thought it would be for the night. He was left completely alone in his grief for the next two days, until finally Brian had shown up today, only an hour before Betsy’s funeral.

Kathleen accompanied Brian to the apartment and it was clear to Justin that she thought Brian had at the very least called him. The older man didn’t look at his husband or offer any sort of apology for abandoning him. He only mumbled something about needing to find his black suit and went straight into his bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Kathleen had asked Justin why he wasn’t ready to go and told him they had to leave in just a few minutes. Instead of telling her the truth, Justin blamed his lateness on morning sickness and then quickly disappeared into his room to get dressed.

When he came out of his room, dressed in a button down black shirt and a pair of dark grey pants, Kathleen asked him why it was that he kept his clothes in the spare room. Justin was caught off-guard and didn’t know what to say at first. But, Brian came into the living room, hearing the tale end of the question and softly reminded his cousin about the size of the closets in old buildings and made a barely there joke about his over exuberant taste for clothes and shopping.

Justin wanted to desperately to do something, say something, that would help his husband through out the funeral, but he didn’t think of a thing that he thought would help Brian. He himself felt such pain from Betsy’s death and he’d only known her a short time, he could only imagine how hard it was for Brian, as she was more his mother than she was his grandmother.

Justin had sat in silence beside Brian and held the man’s shaking hands with both of his as the Priest spoke. The blond knew that he couldn’t be mad at Brian for acting the way he had, so he silently supported Brian the entire afternoon, even if the brunet didn’t seem to notice he was there.

As soon as they’d gotten back to the apartment, Brian had taken off into the mystery room without a glance at Justin. Justin fought with grief and tried to pretend that the day was like any other day, that way he could remain strong for Brian if the man ever came out of the room.

But Brian didn’t, at least not to where Justin saw him. He’d heard Brian enter the bathroom that adjoined with the spare room a few times, but besides that, the man had sat in the mystery room, as silent as he’d sat beside him in the church.

Justin took off his clothes and went to use the bathroom. After, he washed his hands and was just about to turn out the light when he heard whimpering from the other side of the door. He knew that he couldn’t give up on Brian tonight. He had to do something to try and help the older man. He quickly shut off the light and closed the door and sat down heavily on his bed as he tried to think of what he could say to get Brian to let him in or to get him to come out of the room.

Then, a thought occurred to Justin. Brian had gone straight into the room when he’d gotten home. He hadn’t seen him get the key, and when they’d gotten the call about Betsy, Brian had been in there and rushed around in his room to get dressed and had thrown it onto the dresser. He hadn’t had to unlock the door when he’d come home and Justin was sure that the key was probably still sitting where he’d thrown it before.

Justin quickly got up from the bed and walked determinedly down the hallway to the master bedroom. He flicked on the light and turned toward the dresser, sure enough the key with the Celtic knot face key chain sat on the surface. He grabbed it, walked back into the hall and stood before the ‘mystery room’.”

“Brian,” Justin called again, his voice strong but caring. “Let me in. This is your last chance to open the door yourself. I’m coming in either way.” He waited and counted to ten in his head, when he didn’t hear a word from Brian, he placed the key into the lock and turned the handle on the wooden door.

Justin pushed open the door and stepped into the room. He could barely focus on the actual contents inside because his husband began to immediately yell at him.

“You have no right to come in here!” Brian yelled from his seat on the rocker. “Get out!”

Justin was startled from Brian’s roar, but he steeled his emotions and spoke in a strong voice, “I won’t leave.”

Brian turned his head away from Justin’s gaze and mumbled something indecipherable to Justin.

The blond slowly walked over to his husband, knelt beside the rocker and put his hands on top of Brian’s. “Please, Brian. I’m so worried about you. You’re sitting here alone in the dark, it’s after midnight now and you’re in this room…that…that…”

Brian tore his hands away and glared down at Justin. “Why do you care? Just leave me alone!”

“No,” Justin told the man firmly, shaking his head. He put his hands back onto Brian’s. “I won’t leave you alone right now. I do care about you. You’re my husband and I…”

Brian stood up from the chair in a rush of movement, knocking Justin onto his butt. “Now I’m your husband! You’re un-fucking-believable!”

Justin watched as Brian ran past him and out of the room. As quickly as he could, he ran after the man, stepping into Brian’s room just before the older man could slam the door in his face.

Brian put his head against the door and let out a deep angry breath. He glared at the boy, opened the door again and growled, “Get out, now!”

Justin stepped up toward the doorway and by the relief on Brian’s face he could tell the man thought that he was going to listen to him and leave. Instead, he grabbed the door, slammed it shut and stood up to Brian, shouting firmly, “I’m not leaving!”

“Fine!” Brian replied, pushing Justin to the side. He walked toward the bed, stripping off the pieces of his tailored black suit as he went. He shucked his pants down his hips and turned toward his husband. “Listen, Justin. You’re the one that insists that we’re nothing but friends. You keep saying you’re going to leave me as soon as you can. Our relationship isn’t real to you! So what right do you think you have to call me your husband? To use that word as though it means anything to you and our relationship?”

Justin fought the tears that wanted to spring from his eyes, he walked over to Brian. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that. But I am your friend, Brian.”

Brian wiped the stray tears from his eyes and sarcastically laughed. “Oh my God, mo grá, you just don’t get it!”

“No, I don’t,” Justin whispered.

“I’d do anything for you, Justin, and anything for the baby. I’d protect you and keep you both safe and happy. I want to do that, but I wouldn’t do any of this for just anyone. You think I’m a knight in shining armor but you’re wrong, Justin. I’m just a man.”

“You aren’t just any man, Brian. You’re kind, caring, and smart and you give everything you have to anyone that ever needs help. I’ve seen that. But if, if you think that I’ve worn out my welcome here with you and you don’t want me here, just say the word and I’ll go. I’ll find somewhere to go, Brian,” Justin said all of this, slowly and carefully. It felt as though he had to push out each painful word because it was so hard to get them to pass his lips.

But as he spoke Justin saw that it seemed like every one of his words was instantly lost to Brian’s ears. The man’s eyes kept getting bigger and bigger and his expression was something Justin hadn’t ever seen before. Justin gulped before he spoke his next line and then said in a tiny voice. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Brian.”

Brian’s eyes suddenly narrowed into slits and he seemed to jump back a step as soon as Justin spoke. “Look at you, Justin! You… you think we’re friends?”

Justin’s bottom lip quivered and he struggled to nod and answer, “Yes. Don’t…don’t you, Brian?”

“Táim i ngrá leat, Dealramh no gréine, but you’re fucking nuts if you think that’s what this is about for me.You walk around me, looking like that!” Brian pointed to Justin, making the boy feel the need to cover his nearly naked body with his arms. He neared his husband and ran the tips of his fingers along the side of Justin’s jaw. “Álainn, gnéasach, déan cliúsaíocht. You really don’t know that you are, do you?”

Justin sighed his reply, “No.”

Brian backed away from Justin and started to unbutton his pants. “You walk around our home in your briefs and you think that doesn’t affect me?”

“I… I thought you said.. I was beautiful. That it didn’t bother you Brian,” he spoke in alarm. “You said…”

Brian turned away from Justin. “I never said it didn’t bother me.” He laughed sarcastically once again as he shucked his pants down his legs and stepped out of them before turning around to face Justin. The brunet was clad now, only in his navy blue boxer briefs. He palmed his hardening dick through the cotton and walked toward the blond, making the confused boy back up against the bedroom door.

Justin looked away from the brunet’s display, embarrassed at the feelings the man was causing within his own body. “Brian what are you…?”

“Do you see me, mo grá?” Brian rubbed himself a little harder, looking into Justin’s eyes.

“Yes,” Justin whispered, feeling like he should’ve left when Brian had tried making him. Now, he felt trapped and he didn’t understand why Brian was acting the way he was. He didn’t think it was his grief that was controlling his actions or adding the fuel to his words.

Brian shook his head and frowned. “No, mo grá you don’t see me. You don’t see what you do to me, everyday I’m with you. Look down and see me.”

Justin squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “No.”

“Look down, Justin,” Brian barked into Justin’s ear.

Justin’s eyes snapped open. “Okay,” he whimpered.

Brian watched as the boy lowered his head to look in between their bodies. Brian stood back, just far enough so the boy’s round stomach didn’t block his view of his groin. “You make me my dick throb for you, Justin,” Brian whispered.

The blond gasped in shock and embarrassment, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Brian’s crotch.

Brian ran his fingers over the dampness on his underwear. “Do you see now?” He slowly lowered the elastic of his shorts and pushed them down his legs. “Every night I lie in bed with you I fight this.” He tilted Justin’s blushing face up so that their eyes met. “I remind myself that friends don’t get hard from being wrapped around their friend at night. Friends don’t have the thoughts I have about you every time I see you dressed like this, or anyway for that matter. You can be wearing the ugliest outfit in the world and you still stir me up inside, Dealramh no gréine; just like the first time.” Brian’s voice lowered to a whisper as he spoke again, “Teastaím luí le chéile duit, mo grá, it’s all I think about. It’s all I’ve thought about since the morning I left you in that hotel room. Even with everything that’s happened and how painful today was, I still want it. I know how I’ve acted toward you, don’t think for a second that I didn’t know you were there for me. But… I didn’t need a friend today, Justin. I needed a partner, my husband and…that’s not who you want to be to me. Its okay, you know. I’ll learn to live with it, I have. But, that’s why I need you to leave me alone now.” Brian turned and walked back over to the large bed as he whispered, “I’ll see you in the morning, Justin.”

Justin stood, leaning against the door, rooted to his spot. He tried to process everything Brian had said to him. His heart pounded erratically and his breathing was intense and labored. He was sure he was crying, he could feel the tears falling down his face, but the feeling that overwhelmed all of that was what he experienced inside him as he watched Brian turn away from him. His eyes followed every muscle’s movement in Brian’s arms, back, ass and legs as the brunet crawled into the bed under the covers and lay on his side, not facing him.

Justin saw Brian’s shoulders start to shake and realized the man was crying once again. The blond knew that there was nothing he could do with the way their relationship was now to take any of the pain away for the man, to offer him comfort. Brian had told him that he didn’t want nor need a friend, he needed his husband.

Justin’s first step was hesitant, but the following six steps over to the bed were sure and strong. He crawled into the bed, under the covers and pressed himself up against Brian and wrapped his arms around the older man’s warm body. His own cock became hard from just a moment of contact with Brian’s body. Restrained by his briefs it press in between Brian’s soft ass cheeks, creating an electric jolt in his groin. He gasped aloud, feeling his dick release a small amount of precum and was sure Brian could feel the warm wetness against his bare skin.

“Friends don’t lie like this with each other,” Brian huskily spoke.

Justin rubbed his head against Brian’s neck, lightly kissed the man’s shoulder blade and then moved his left arm up from where it rested upon Brian’s bare stomach. He grabbed Brian’s hand and moved it out from under the duvet and rested it over Brian’s heart, twining their fingers together and rubbing their wedding rings against each other. Justin looked over Brian’s shoulder and watched as the moonlight coming in from the window made the bands shine beautifully. He put his lips near Brian’s ear and whispered. “I know, Brian.”

Brian struggled to stop the tears falling from his eyes. He was, without a doubt, an emotional mess. He’d been so scared of losing Justin because he had told him the truth, but now it didn’t seem like he was going to and he could hardly believe it. He squeezed Justin’s fingers with his and asked, “What do you know?”

“Friends don’t lie like this with one another,” Justin told him. He gripped Brian’s hand and began to slide them back down under the covers. His body vibrated with heat and uncertainty as he took Brian’s half-hard cock within their hands and held it gently.

The coolness of the metal on their rings made Brian shiver and his dick jumped in surprise, but started to fill with more blood in reaction to the heat of their hands. He gasped Justin’s name softly into the still air as he tried to wrap his head around what was happening. He hadn’t actually believed that Justin would want him as much as he wanted the blond, but he could feel the boy’s hard want against his ass and within the gentle tugs Justin boldly guided their hands to make with his cock.

“Make me your husband, Brian,” Justin said softly. “Mo grá, Teastaím luí le chéile duit.”

Brian took in a shocked breath of air when he heard Justin’s words. He turned around and looked into Justin’s blue eyes. “How did you…”

“Betsy gave me a book the day before…” he trailed off unable to speak of what had happened. “I spent the last three days reading it, trying to memorize it, for you. I wanted to know what you’ve been saying to me. I… couldn’t figure out some of the things you’ve said. But I know what that means.”

Brian nuzzled his face close to Justin’s and wrapped his arms around the blond, pulling him as close as possible to his body. He stared into Justin’s eyes as he slowly leaned in and kissed the boy’s lips.

Justin kept his eyes locked to Brian’s as they both opened their mouths and tenderly explored one another’s tastes. He pulled out of the kiss and ran his hands up into Brian’s soft auburn hair. He spoke to Brian in English, “My love, I want to make love to you.”

Brian smiled. “Your wish is my command, Duke Kinney.”

***

“Airíonn tú chomh leas, mo grá,” Brian whispered, nibbling on the shell of Justin’s ear.

Justin squeezed his legs tighter around Brian, raising his bottom up off the bed to meet the older man’s gentle thrusts into his hole. His entire body was awash with pleasure; he couldn’t even begin to process the enormity of what their making love meant to him and to Brian’s future. For the first time since he’d been with Brian in New York, he felt safe, loved and completely turned on. Their passion together overwhelmed everything else.

Brian moved his mouth down the side of Justin’s jaw, placing open mouth kisses, panting his body’s exertions into Justin’s pale, smooth skin. He loved how uninhibited Justin’s passions and pleasures were. Each of their climaxes of the night seemed to widdle away at the virginal boy Justin had been the night they first coupled.

Dawn was breaking, the early morning sun’s rays slowly bathed the room in its glow now as the Dukes were reaching for their fourth orgasm of the session, without doubt removing any claim to virginity the blond had before.

Justin scraped his fingernails down Brian’s strong back, as the brunet’s mouth latched onto his neck and started to suck and bite at him. His toes curled from the pleasure and he struggled to keep his ankles twined together and his legs wrapped around Brian’s waist as the man changed his thrusting and began to powerfully pump into his tunnel. His lips felt chapped from all the wild kisses they’d exchanged and from him exploring every part of his husband’s body. But his mouth still ached to be fused onto Brian’s gorgeous lips and he found himself begging, “Kiss me, kiss me, mo grá.”

Justin’s plea reached Brian’s ears, even through the sound of his heartbeat that seemed to be louder than anything else. He stopped his sweet torture on Justin’s neck and dragged his tongue up until his lips brushed Justin’s. He let out a groan of lustful surprise into the boy’s wet mouth as Justin’s hands moved from scratching his back, to becoming buried in his hair, pulling on it sharply.

The rhythm of their kisses changed to the desperate crescendo their grinds and thrusts of their lower bodies had begun to perform to. Brian’s cock was barely sliding out of Justin’s ass, in complete contrast to the long, slow, pushes and pulls he started with. The blond continued to tighten his muscles, barely letting his insides give up the grip they had on the dick pushing, stirring and grinding inside him. Now there was no let up on the passion and sex for either of them. Justin’s prostate was given constant pressure and Brian’s penis was tightly encased inside his lover’s firey-hot core.

They broke their kiss just in time to take in lung fills of air. Only seconds later they crashed them back onto each other’s in a bruising raw kiss as their bodies jolted with the first spasms of their long-awaited orgasms.

“Taim i' ngra leat,” Brian groaned against Justin’s mouth as his dick pulsed, shooting the last of his fluids deep into Justin’s body.

Justin felt the last of Brian’s hot seed coat the walls inside his ass, joining the many other emissions his husband had given inside of him that night. It made his own cock give out one last small spurt of cum between him and Brian’s bodies. He struggled to open his hazy eyes, but managed to lock them with Brian’s equally hazy, green eyes, just as the man pulled his spent cock out of his body. His entire body felt deliciously numb; though he was positive he’d feel sore when they awoke. It didn’t matter; he’d just had the single most amazing experience of his life.

Brian struggled to move his tired body onto his side. He was sweaty and sticky, but it felt wonderful to him. It was a reminder of their love making. He knew that he and Justin were amazing together in bed, but nothing had prepared him for the emotional and physical exploration of love and healing he’d experienced with the blond. He helped Justin turn onto his side and spooned his body up against Justin’s as he pulled the messy duvet over their naked bodies. His almost soft cock nestled itself inside Justin’s warm ass crack, threatening to become hard once again as he felt his warm seed dripping out of his husband’s body onto him.

Justin struggled to stay awake; he knew that he wanted to tell his husband so much. He wanted to ask Brian a million questions, especially about the words the man spoke to him that he still didn’t understand. He was about to open his mouth and speak when Brian’s whispering voice stopped him.

Brian held Justin tightly, their joined hands resting over the blond’s round stomach. He was sure that Justin still didn’t understand all the Irish he’d spoken, but he took a chance and whispered into his husband’s ear, “Ní fhágfaidh mise choice, Dealramh no gréine.” He didn’t expect Justin to answer him, so he closed his eyes and gave into the sleep that wanted to claim him.

Justin’s tired mind ran through all the words he’d learned as he tried to figure out what Brian’s desperate sounding plea meant. When he could not figure it out, promising to himself that he would tomorrow, he whispered back the one thing he did know he could speak clearly in Irish, “Mo grá.”

***

June 16th 2006 - New York

“How was your last day of school?” Jennifer asked her daughter.

Molly smiled. “It was great. I said goodbye to all my friends.”

Jennifer frowned. “What? Why’d you do that Molly?”

“Don’t worry Mom. They’re not going to tell anyone where we’re really going.”

“I’m not sure if we’re going anywhere quite yet,” Jennifer told her daughter. She had decided to wait and hear from Robbie if Justin was indeed still living in Ireland.

Molly gave her mother a confused look. “What, is Justin coming home now or something?”

“He may be. I wanted to wait to tell you until Robbie called me to say for sure, but I sent Robbie to Ireland to find Justin. He thinks that he…”

“Robbie!” Molly yelled. “What did you send him there for?”

“He’s your brother’s best friend, he loves Justin and he said he wants to marry him. He may be the father of Justin’s baby and he really loves him, Molly. It may be just what Justin needs.”

“Mom,” Molly cried out desperately. “Don’t you know that Robbie and Mica got married a few months ago?”

“What?” Jennifer asked, feeling faint. “What are you talking about Molly? He came by here and he told me that…”

“Whatever he told you wasn’t true, Mom!” Molly interrupted. “He’s a lying piece of shit and he hurt Justin. He might be the father of Justin’s baby, but he’s certainly not going to marry him!”

“Are you sure you’re not mistaken, Molly? He seemed sincere. He even told me that if it wasn’t his baby he’d still take care of Justin and the child.”

“That’s bullshit, Mom. He and Mica walked around school practically fused together until Graduation. I’m telling you, Mom! He’s lying. We have to go, Mom. We have to go find out what’s really going on. When was Robbie leaving?”

“He said he was leaving today. But, if we’re going to go, we’ll have to wait and tell your father we’re going to Andrea’s like we originally planned. I didn’t tell him it was called off, but our flights and everything aren’t until tomorrow.”

Molly hugged her mother. “Hopefully Justin will be okay until then.”

Jennifer hugged her daughter back and whispered, “I hope so too.”