Emerald Enchantment

Chapter Five: “Deep Shit Trouble”

December 31, 2005

“Come on, Justin, just take a couple shots. Everyone has to be drunk on New Years Eve,” Robbie whispered, holding the bottle of tequila up to Justin’s nose.

Justin backed away from the putrid smelling alcohol and felt his stomach turn. “I don’t want it,” he said, feeling bile rise in his throat. He quickly ran through the crowded apartment and stumbled into the bathroom. The second the toilet seat was up he began to puke the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl.

“I thought you said you didn’t drink yet,” Robbie slurred, coming into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Justin turned and glared at Robbie. “I didn’t!”

“Then why the fuck are you hugging a toilet?” Robbie replied, laughing.

Justin reached up and flushed the toilet. He then washed his hands and rinsed his mouth out. Mustering as much courage as possible he mumbled, “I’m pregnant, Robbie.”

“Ha. Ha. It’s New Year’s Eve, not April Fools,” the drunken boy said, closing the toilet lid and sitting down on it.

Justin took the towel from the rack he was sure the party giver’s mother only had out for decoration and doused it with cool water. He tried to control his breathing and focus on what he was about to tell the father of his child as he patted his sweating face down with the cool cloth. One last deep breath and Justin turned around; he stared down at Robbie who was looking up at him with a lustful smile.

“You know, I know we aren’t together anymore… but what do you say we take advantage of the bathroom and…”

“I’m pregnant with your child, Robbie and I’m not joking,” Justin cut the boy off.

The smirk slowly left Robbie’s face and he stood up on wobbling legs “Shut the fuck up, Justin. I don’t need this shit.”

“You think I do?” Justin asked.

“You aren’t pregnant, Justin,” Robbie laughed at him.

Justin dug the button down shirt out of his pants and pulled it and his sweater up, exposing his rounded midsection. “I am pregnant, Robbie.”

Robbie backed up against the door and laughed again. “You gained a little weight, so what. With the way I’ve seen you eat lately...”

“What the fuck, Robbie? “ Justin righted his clothing. “You haven’t seen me at all lately! You told me to stay the fuck away from you and I have. I thought you needed space. This is the first time you’ve talked to me in months!”

Robbie scoffed. “That’s because you don’t ever want to go anywhere no more. You’re always studying or some shit!”

“That’s because I was grounded and it’s also because I’ve been sick… only I’m not sick. I’m fucking pregnant, Robbie. “ Justin couldn’t believe that he’d spoken it aloud so many times in such a short time. The secret he’d been keeping was out and it all seemed so real now, even if Robbie was having a hard time accepting the truth. He put his hand over his belly and sat down on the toilet. “I took tests and I went to the fucking doctor a couple of days ago,” Justin whispered. “I’m pregnant.”

Robbie slid down the door into a squat, he took a long gulp of the tequila and then reached his hand out to touch Justin’s knee. “Do you need money to help… take care of it? No one has to know.”

Justin pushed the boy’s hand away from him. “I’m not going to get an abortion, Robbie. I’m not. This is our baby!”

“How do I know that?” Robbie asked, standing up once again. “I don’t know who you’ve been sleeping around with lately. Besides, even if it was mine… what do you expect me to do? You think I’m going to marry you?”

Justin forced himself not to cry as he so suddenly felt like doing. “We were best friends once… I loved you and I still love you. I thought that…”

“I’m too young to get married, Justin. I’m too young to be a father and so are you so it’s not my fault that you’re going to act irresponsible and have the kid,” Robbie yelled. “If that’s what you want to do, fine. But leave me the fuck out of it!”

Justin stood up, his face inches from the other boy’s. “Fine! I will. I’m not going to force you to be responsible and act like a man.”

“Fine,” Robbie spoke, opening the bathroom door.

Justin barely noticed the partiers in the living room as he ran past them and out of the apartment door. He took the steps down to the street quickly and once there he breathed in the cool air as he hailed a cab. He wasn’t going to force Robbie to do anything. That wasn’t love. Justin wanted Robbie to love him and he was sure that Robbie would come around. Otherwise, he’d be in some deep shit trouble; that is, if he wasn’t already.

***

March 18, 2006

Betsy reached across the table and put her hand on top of Justin’s. “I’m so sorry that all happened that way darling. This boy Robbie doesn’t sound like he’s ever going to step up to the plate though.”

“I want my baby to have two parents,” Justin said. “I can’t help but want Robbie to…” Justin trailed off; he really wasn’t sure what he wanted form Robbie anymore.

“You want Robbie to love the baby and you?” Betsy asked.

“Yes, I do,” Justin, admitted, squeezing the woman’s hand.

Betsy took her hand away and lifted the teapot to pour them both more tea. Justin quickly picked it up for her, smiling brightly. “Let me?”

She was very glad that she’d invited Justin to have lunch with her. They’d spent the morning talking about her art and his. She showed him her gallery and regaled him with the tales of each painting’s’ inspiration.

Betsy had formed a friendship with the blond. By the time lunch was served, they’d discussed nearly everything under the sun. Now, as they had their afternoon tea, she’d asked Justin to tell her about the baby and the boy seemed relieved to have someone to talk to at last. She felt connected to the boy and she was so happy that Justin felt like he could share with her his past and trust her with things he’d said he’d not told anyone else.

She did find it quite odd though that Brian had not visited or checked on them once the entire day. He’d remained locked away in his office the entire morning and afternoon. She was sure that Brian had feelings for the young blond man, but… she also knew that Brian would probably never admit to them, especially when he still felt that Justin was still in love with Robbie. “Do you still love Robbie?”

Justin took a sip of his tea as he thought about the question. “We’ve been best friends for years and he’s the father of my child.”

Betsy nodded at his answer, but wasn’t satisfied. “But are you in love with him?” she asked softly, holding his eyes with her own.

“I…” Justin thought again, he was sure that he loved Robbie, but after rehashing the way Robbie had treated him, he was sure that was clouding his judgment. “I’m not sure… I don’t know if………. I love Robbie.”

“Hey,” Brian said, coming into the dining room, a fake smile on his face.

“Hi,” Justin smiled at Brian and felt himself blushing as the man walked in.

“So you finally show your face?” Betsy said with a smile.

Brian walked over and sat down beside Justin, ignoring his grandmother he asked the blond, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Brian,” Justin said. “Betsy has been so kind to entertain me and she showed me all of her beautiful paintings.”

“It was a pleasure,” Betsy told Justin.

“Well, I’m finished now, so if you’d like we can go back to my apartment, maybe watch some movies and have some dinner?” Brian asked.

“That sounds great,” Justin smiled.

“Before you go, Justin, I wanted to give you the number of a very good midwifery clinic. Since you’re going to be here in Dublin for some time I know you’ll need pre-natal care; a good friend of mine, Shanna, owns the clinic,” the woman spoke proudly.

“Oh, well thank you. I had just thought I’d go to a hospital and find a doctor there though,” Justin confessed. “I’ve never really thought about getting a midwife.”

“Well, it was only a suggestion,” she said softly.

“Oh, I’d love to meet with her, Betsy,” Justin told her. “I just haven’t really thought much about what I’m going to do. Up until today I was scared to even think about what I’d do once the baby came.”

“You have that worked out?” Brian asked Justin, surprised. He looked over at his grandmother and saw her smirking.

Justin nodded. “Betsy offered to pay me to help her a couple days a week. That way, I can repay you for rent, food and have a little left over to buy the baby things.”

“She did, did she?” Brian asked, realizing that he’d offered to hire help for the woman many times, though she always refused.

“Yes.” Justin smiled. “It feels so good to finally know that no matter what happens between Robbie and me, my baby and I will be all right.”

I’ll make sure of that, Brian thought. “You know you don’t need to pay me, Justin. I already told you that I have more than enough money.”

“That’d be fine if we were married or if this was your baby, Brian. But we’re friends and friends don’t just take money from their friends when they can have money themselves. I may even be able save enough to start the process and apply for citizenship,” Justin replied.

“I… I thought you said you were going to take the baby home after it was born because you thought that if Robbie sees your baby then… he may feel differently?” Brian asked in a clipped tone, he couldn’t keep the hurt that Justin’s innocent statement had caused him out of his voice.

“Betsy convinced me to stay, at least for a little while after the baby is born. She told me that it can be really hard travelling with a newborn and she’s probably right,” Justin told him. “You don’t mind do you? If I stay a while?”

Brian sighed. “No, Justin. I’m glad you’re here.” I want you to stay forever, he thought sadly, knowing that it probably wouldn’t be the case.

“Brian could you go and get me a pen and paper out of the office so I can write down that number and address for Justin?” Betsy asked, realizing that her grandson needed a minute alone to absorb the new revelations.

“Sure, Móraí,” Brian said, standing up from the table and leaving the room.

“Is Brian mad at me?” Justin whispered worriedly.

“Of course not,” Betsy whispered back. “He’s probably just a little stressed over some building renovations or something.”

“Are you sure? He seemed angry with me,” Justin observed.

“I’m sure, Justin,” she said. Brian has no one to be angry at but himself for not confessing his true feelings toward you, she thought.

“Here you are,” Brian said, coming back into the room, feeling a little calmer, but still very frustrated.

“Thank you, mo’ mac.” Betsy smiled gently at her grandson as she took the pen and paper. She quickly wrote down the information and handed it to Justin. “Make sure when you call you tell her that you’re my Brian’s friend okay? It’s actually just a short walk from Brian’s apartment so you should be able to find it easily.”

“That’s great,” Justin said. “I really appreciate this, thank you.”

“Are you ready to go, Justin?” Brian asked, helping Justin stand up when the boy nodded his head.

Justin blushed as Brian helped him stand, it wasn’t quite necessary yet, but he loved the way Brian treated him, it made him feel wanted. “Goodbye, Betsy, thank you so much for today, for the number and for the job.”

“I’ll see you Tuesday,” Betsy replied, standing up on shaky legs she gave Justin a warm hug.

“Goodbye, Móraí,” Brian said, hugging his grandmother.

***

Monday, March 20, 2006

“Thank you so much, Shanna, it was wonderful meeting you,” Justin said, standing up from the office chair.

“I’ll see you in two weeks, Justin. Maybe then we can even see the sex of the baby if it’s turned right?”

“I can’t wait,” Justin spoke excitedly.

Brian shook Shanna’s hand and then took Justin’s leading him out of the clinic. Justin loved walking down the old streets, especially with Brian by his side.

“Have you given any thought to what Shanna said about the home birth?” Brian asked.

Justin laughed. “What? You actually want me to do that in your apartment?”

“It’s your home now too,” Brian, spoke. “I want you to be comfortable; if it were me I’d want to do it at home instead of at the birthing center. Everything seemed so stale; I mean it’s okay for check-ups but I wouldn’t want to have a baby in that kind of environment unless it was absolutely necessary.”

“I’ve never even known anyone that’s ever had a baby at home, Brian,” Justin replied. “I mean, I sort of feel the same way, but I still don’t know if I’m going to want to do it without pain medication.”

“I guess it’s a lot to think about, but whatever you decide you know I’ll support you, Justin. I’ll be here for you, however you want me to be,” Brian told him softly as they rounded the corner to their block.

Justin looked up at Brian and his breath caught in his throat; the older man looked so beautiful, dressed in his black pea coat and cap. The whips of auburn hair that stuck out from under the hat shone in the afternoon sunshine. Justin dropped Brian’s hand and then wrapped his arm around Brian’s waist and leaned into him. “You’re so good to me, Brian.” He nuzzled his head against Brian’s shoulder. “Are you sure you still want to go to those parenting and Lamaze classes with me tonight? Shanna said that I don’t necessarily have to have a partner.”

Brian luxuriated in the feel of Justin’s body so close to his. “I want to be there, Justin. You’ve got to stop second guessing me; I already told you that I’ll be here for you and the baby unless you don’t want me to be.”

“I do,” Justin said, smiling up at Brian.

Brian’s heart jumped a beat at Justin’s use of words. “We have a little time before we have to leave for the classes, do you want to go and sit in the park?”

“Oh yes, that’d be great. I only wish I’d brought my sketch pad,” Justin replied. “I’d love to sketch all the kid’s playing in the sunshine,” he spoke, stopping in his tracks as he gazed at the gated in park area beside their building.

“Well it’s a good thing we live next door then,” Brian laughed. “How about I run up and grab your messenger bag, you go and find a bench, okay?”

“Thanks, Brian.” Justin threw himself into Brian’s arms and gave him a small peck on his cheek.

Brian held Justin’s body close to him. Time seemed to stop for just a few minutes as they both stared into each other’s eyes, but then the moment passed and Justin was pulling away from him and smiling brightly as he walked into the park. Brian wondered if he would be able to keep himself under control. He knew that if he made the wrong move, then Justin would know that what he wanted from him wasn’t only friendship, then he was sure the boy would pack his bags and leave him.

***

“Just sit between his legs,” Shanna instructed Justin.

Brian leaned against the wall, sitting on a mat, legs drawn up and spread to cradle Justin’s body. Feeling more than a little apprehensive about having Justin’s ass practically sitting in his lap, he had to consciously control his own breathing. He looked around and realized they were the only couples in the class that were not actually a couple. Everyone else seemed so comfortable having their partners in their arms, but Brian could not have felt more uncomfortable.

Justin crawled forward and then turned around so that he was in between Brian’s legs. His hear beat erratically and he was sure his face was blushing as he finally sat back, his butt sitting tight against Brian’s warm crotch.

“Okay,” Shanna said. “Perfect. Now Da’ put your arms around Daddy’s belly.”

At this point, Brian wasn’t even going to correct the woman. Justin hadn’t and he didn’t want to embarrass the boy by doing so, not that he necessarily thought that Justin should be embarrassed of the situation. But he knew that Justin felt ashamed even though he’d done the right thing when he’d had sex with Robbie and used protection. It had been an accident, or as Brian liked to look at it; a challenge from Fate.

Justin let his head fall against Brian’s strong shoulder. He was so happy Brian was there with him, but he could also feel that Brian was extremely tense and wondered if the Irishman had regrets about coming with him to the class.

“Oh, you guys are perfect,” Shanna spoke and then turned to address the entire room. “Now, we’re going to watch the instructional video on the screen okay? You’ll be prompted to do the same actions and then when it’s all over we’ll go through it all one on one.”

“Do you feel the baby moving?” Justin asked in a whisper. He laced his fingers with Brian’s on top of his belly.

“Yeah,” Brian replied, speaking softly into his ear. “Mo páiste,” he said quietly.

Justin was about to ask Brian what he’d said when the video began to play.

***

When the class was over, Brian had no idea how he even concentrated on any of it, though Shanna had assured him and Justin that they’d done a wonderful job. He was sure he’d spent the entire time either focusing on fighting his unwavering erection or on the smell of Justin’s hair.

They walked home that night across the long bridge. Justin talked a mile-a-minute about everything they learned and his smile was constantly bright and his hair shone, illuminated from the lanterns on the bridge. Brian knew that he was in deep shit trouble.

He’d only been living with Justin for three days and already he was finding it hard not to tell the young man his true feelings and harder to not act on them. Brian was acutely aware that there would come a day when he would not be able to fight the temptation of Justin Taylor.

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