The Christmas Eves

Chapter Five: Clinging

December 24, 2007

Brian tried his very best to be attentive to his children that morning. He didn't want a repeat of what had happened before. He hadn't realized Justin had been so close to actually divorcing him. Everything was going perfectly. Brian sat on the bed eating his wonderful breakfast while Reaghan and Zaira sat on each side of him. They luxuriated in their father's attention and Brian in turn luxuriated in them.

The only thing missing that morning was Justin. He'd gone downstairs to clean up the kitchen shortly after Brian had snuggled in with the kids. Brian wished that Justin was there with them, snuggling together as they had so many times before. However, he wanted to give Justin the space the man obviously needed.

Brian was determined that today would be the last time he repeated the horrible ending to this day. He was confident that as long as he could get Justin to agree to his plan everything would be all right for them.

Brian laughed and talked with his kids and even watched Frosty with them on the bedroom television set. Zaira had prompted Brian to open the Christmas card but he'd told her that he wanted to do that when Justin was present. He planned on postponing opening it until later that night, hoping he could do that when he and Justin were alone.

Just as the program ended Justin came back into the bedroom. Brian didn't notice Justin's eyes glance over to the unopened envelope that still sat on the dresser.

"Zaira, Reaghan, I need you two to go wash up and get dressed," Justin told them with a smile. "We've got a lot to do today."

"Awww... but we wanna watch Rudolph with Dada," Zaira whined sadly.

"Yeah, Wudoff is coming on," Reaghan pouted.

Brian sat up. "Come on, lazy bones. Listen to your Daddy. I know we have Rudolph on DVD and I promise I'll watch it with you before bed tonight."

"What about our story?" Zaira asked.

"What..." Brian trailed off. He then remembered what his little girl referred to. "Oh, don't worry. Daddy and I will still read you “The Night Before Christmas” and we'll watch Rudolph before that, okay?"

"Okay," the children agreed.

Reaghan and Zaira hugged and kissed Brian, climbed out of the bed and then kissed and hugged Justin before leaving the room.

Brian took a deep breath and got out of the bed himself. "Justin?"

Justin was at the linen closet putting away some freshly washed sheets he'd brought up and was so intent on the task he hadn't heard Brian. He nearly jumped out of his skin as he felt Brian's hands on his arms. "Shit!" he cried out, startled.

Brian couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry." He bent down to pick up the baby blue sheets that Justin had dropped.

Justin laughed nervously. "Thank you," he told Brian, stepping away from the linen closet as Brian put the sheets away.

Brian looked down at Justin, noticing the other man's nervous energy and pink cheeks. "You doing okay, Justin?"

Justin gulped and nodded. "I'm fine, Brian."

Brian looked at the linens he'd placed on the shelf and then back to Justin. "I remember when we first used those."

Justin blinked in surprise, his face flushed even more before he nodded and whispered, "Me too."

"You were so beautiful that night, Justin." Brian stepped closer and could feel his husband's warm body so close to his, instantly making his cock grow heavy in his pants. They'd always had what felt like a current of electricity binding their bodies together.

He then thought back to what was to Justin and the kids only a few months ago and remembered that he hadn't felt that connection to his husband in such a long time. He was entirely sure that it was himself that had severed it.

Justin's blush got darker and he ducked his head and mumbled something before turning away from Brian.

"What'd you say?" Brian asked, grabbing Justin’s hand and turning his blond back around to face him.

"It's not important," Justin told him and pulled away. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for your meeting?"

Brian sighed, "Yeah… but there was something I wanted to talk to you about first."

Justin looked up at Brian, his eyebrows arched. "What is it?"

"I was thinking that you could have your mother come out here to open presents earlier today, then when I get back from my interview we can all go to Debbie's together?"

Justin sighed. He was glad Brian wasn't going to be going into Kinnetik after the interview but he still didn't want Brian going anywhere at all. However, he knew that he should probably just take what Brian offered. It was better than going to Debbie's without Brian. "I guess that could work. I’ll call her and see. What time will you be back here?"

"Probably just before one. Debbie wanted us there at one, right?" Brian asked, trying to remember the details.

"Yeah, but you're going to have to call Debbie and explain to her why we're going to be a little late. Are you sure you don't just want to meet us there after your interview?"

"No," Brian shook his head. "I'm going to want to change out of my suit before we go anyway, and I'd rather show up there with my family."

Justin bit his lip trying not to smile too much. He knew that his husband could just as easily bring a change of clothes but it was obvious that Brian really wanted them all to go together. He smiled at the thought and nodded his head. "Okay."

Brian leaned down and kissed Justin's nose, making Justin blush again. "I'm going to go get in the shower. You go call your mom." He heard Justin give a small moan and it thrilled Brian to know that he hadn't lost Justin yet. He could still make Justin respond to him, even with a simple kiss on his nose.

Justin leaned up and brushed a quick kiss to Brian's lips before trailing out of the bedroom to call his mother. He had a bounce to his steps and his heart felt so much lighter.

Brian undressed and got into the shower with a smile on his face. He was sure that things were going to work out just fine. They were going to be all right.

September 21, 2001

"Hey," Justin walked into Brian's office, his face alight with excitement. He closed and discreetly locked the door behind him.

Brian felt his groin tighten the second Justin walked in and smiled at him. "Hey," he answered. He grinned and pushed his chair away from his desk a little.

Justin took off his messenger bag and sat it on the empty space on Brian's desk. He then walked around to Brian and straddled the older man's lap.

"Did you finish class early?" Brian asked, smiling and leaning in to nibble on Justin's earlobe.

Justin grabbed Brian's face and turned it toward his own. His mouth sought and made contact with Brian's lips. "Something like that," he whispered in between kisses.

Brian's hands dug underneath his husband's shirt and he groaned low in his throat as soon as he felt the silky skin underneath his fingertips. "Get undressed," he ordered Justin.

Justin giggled and stood up from Brian's lap. He knew what was going to happen would be amazing and would leave Brian right where he wanted him.

"Hurry up," Brian told him as he chucked his shoes and pants across the floor.

Justin peeled his shirt off, unbuttoned his jeans and shimmied out of them as quickly as possible. He then started to toe off his shoes and socks.

"No underwear," Brian admonished, sitting back in his chair, now fully naked.

Justin smirked. "Am I your naughty boy?"

Brian grabbed Justin and pulled the younger man onto his lap once again. He forced his lips onto Justin's and swept his tongue inside Justin's hot mouth. "All mine."

Justin melted against Brian's body as they touched and felt one another's heated and perspiring skin. Their cocks were growing and leaking as they rubbed and slid against one another. With all his might, Justin pulled away from his lover and stood up.

"What are you doing?" Brian's words died on his lips as he saw his young husband turn around and lean over the desk. Justin’s head bowed and his fingers gripped the other side of the wood tightly.

Justin looked back at Brian, his eyelashes fluttered and his cheeks turned pink as he spoke to his lover. "Get me ready, Brian. I've been a very bad boy."

Brian's dick released copious amounts of precome as he rolled his chair up closer to Justin's body. His legs went between Justin's thighs and he spread his, making Justin spread his own further apart.

"Uh… Brian," Justin moaned. He felt Brian's hands ghost up the insides of his thighs. His husband’s fingers lightly brushed his heavy balls and then trailed, painstakingly slowly, over his pink entrance.

Brian bent his head forward as he dragged his fingers away from Justin's crack. He pulled and held his husband’s ass cheeks apart. His hard cock jumped and his mouth watered as his eyes locked onto Justin's tight hole. He paused in his movements so his eyes could appreciate the twitching entrance.

Justin's buried his face in the material of his messenger bag and panted, “Please, please Brian. Lick me, touch me, and fuck me, please.”

Brian decided not to torture Justin or himself for that matter any longer. He let out a small growl and attacked Justin’s begging hole.

“Ahhh, fuck yes,” Justin whispered as he felt Brian's tongue glide along the folds of his entrance.

Brian slathered his lover's hole with his saliva. He felt his cock jumping and growing even harder the more he feasted greedily on Justin's hungry ass. Brian always got to a point when he was eating Justin out where he'd forget everything and get completely lost in the primal act. He’d swirl his tongue inside Justin, the taste of the younger man’s silky folds and hot insides of his hole making him go nearly crazy every time he performed the act. He was sure that he loved doing it, as much as Justin so obviously loved receiving the pleasure.

He only pulled away when Justin's ass suddenly stopped the grinding it was doing onto his face. Brian’s sudden loss of ass on tongue and the confusion it caused was quickly remedied as his lover spun around and pushed him back into his chair.

Justin smirked at his lover. His heartbeat accelerated at an even more frantic pace at the sight of the surprised and manic look on Brian's spit-covered face.

Brian pulled Justin down onto his lap, making Justin straddle him. He crushed his mouth onto Justin's and pushed his tongue into the boy's mouth, sharing Justin’s musky taste with him. His hands trailed all over Justin's body, reaching between them to pinch one of Justin's nipples.

Justin yelled out as his husband squeezed his super-sensitive nipple. His entire body was pinging with sparks of fire. He humped against his husband and could feel Brian was just as much in need of coupling as he was. Justin reached under himself and found Brian's cock that lay against his crack. It was weeping and wet. His fingers glided the natural lube up and down his husband’s shaft, at the same time Brian was biting and sucking on his neck.

Brian felt Justin rise up off his lap. His eyes met the sultry blue ones belonging to his lover. He whispered in a hoarse voice, "Come on.” He squeezed Justin’s cheeks apart and urged him again, “Come on, get me inside you.” Justin held his dick within his warm fist, the tip only a hairsbreadth away from touching the entrance he'd worshipped minutes before with his tongue.

Justin smiled genuinely at Brian for just a moment before his lips opened in a gasp of pain and pleasure, his eyes closing. Justin lowered himself down and felt the thick head of Brian's cock push into his body.

Brian brought his hands around to Justin's hips. He tried his best to not move, not thrust up into the tight heat which he was only getting a small sample of for the time being. Justin’s body was a place he knew would feel like home as soon as his entire shaft was embedded within it.

Sometimes when Brian was inside Justin completely, when there was nowhere else to go, with his dick crammed and squeezed as deeply and tightly as Justin’s body would allow it to be, when their hearts would beat so fast inside their rapidly moving chests, forcing their breath into each other’s open mouths, looking into one another's unblinking eyes and grasping blond and auburn hair between their fingertips, Brian would think about what it would be like to just crawl inside Justin or switch places with him just so his husband could feel what he felt when he was buried inside the soft wet depths of his beloved.

Justin slowly lowered himself onto Brian's cock. The thickness at the bottom stretched his hole and made him wince. It was also a feeling he craved, one that caused his dick to harden and his mind to feel like it was at peace. He took a few deep breaths and leaned his forehead to rest it against Brian's sweaty shoulder.

Brian's fingers trailed up and down Justin's sweaty back mindlessly as his conscious state of being was only given to the experience of being connected with his blond. He groaned when he felt Justin start to move up again. He felt the boy’s inner muscles tighten around his cock as he did. Justin’s eyes opened and locked with his, his face becoming one of pure bliss.

Justin put his hands onto Brian’s shoulders to steady himself as he pulled himself up from Brian’s cock. He rose until Brian's head was out of his ring of muscle before he slammed back down. That was when their groans of ecstasy began and would not stop.

Justin and Brian's bodies moved to a static rhythm, their muscles straining as they fought to control the furious fucking and remain in tune with each other. Their pulses raced as their pleasure rose while nearing the point of completion.

Brian hauled himself up out of the chair, catching Justin's head before it hit the desktop. Justin's legs wrapped around Brian’s slim hips as Brian took over and began to thrust inside his body. The older man bent forward, kissed and nibbled a trail from Justin's neck up until he met his lips.

Brian felt Justin quaking beneath him, then with one more thrust, his cock head digging along Justin's prostate, they both groaned into each other’s mouths and came. Tingles and shudders wracked their bodies as their cocks released their pleasure.

Brian rested his head on Justin's chest as they both struggled to calm their breathing. His knees felt shaky and he knew he needed to sit down or he'd collapse to the floor and probably take Justin, still connected to his hard dick, with him to the ground.

"Fuck," Brian said, lifting himself up and slowly pulling out of Justin.

Justin smiled at his lover, but groaned at the loss of Brian from his body.

Brian collapsed back into the chair but then moved it forward and started to lick come from Justin's belly and cock. He made the younger man twitch from the extra stimulation. When Brian was done with eating his come Justin looked at him and sat up smiling, his feet rested on the arms of Brian's chair. "You missed some," he said.

Brian raised an eyebrow at Justin. "You know we're never going to have a baby if you keep making me eat my sperm out of you afterwards."

Justin turned beet red and chuckled, "I'm sure it'll be fine."

Brian rolled his eyes and pushed Justin’s body back onto the desk. He then spread his lover’s legs wide. He dove in once again to Justin’s hole and soon he had licked and sucked all of the come he could from his lover's body. When he was finished, he leaned up and pulled Justin to him. He then grabbed the back of Justin's neck, forcing his face down to meet him in a kiss to share their tastes.

"Mmm…" Justin said pulling away and laughing. "We're both a mess."

"Good thing I have a shower in my private bathroom then. Come on," Brian told him, and started to get up.

"Wait," Justin said, reaching behind him and grabbing his messenger bag.

"I think I can critique your new sketches after we shower, Justin. I'm fucking covered in our spit, sweat and come."

Justin sniffed Brian’s neck and kissed his way down to the man’s armpits. He inhaled the man’s scent and moaned out, "I like you that way." Justin smiled devilishly at his husband, raking his eyes up and down the man’s body and taking in Brian's ravaged appearance. Both of their cocks were filling with arousal again, but Justin knew that he had something urgent he needed to do before their desires carried them away again. He gave Brian a small peck on his lips, "I know we need to shower, but I have something to show you that can't wait."

Brian rolled his eyes. "Okay, what is it?"

Justin smiled and ruffled through his bag. "I told you I’d been a bad boy, Mr. Kinney. I even ditched class today."

"Justin," Brian admonished. "You only just started the semester..."

"Would you be quiet and let me talk?" Justin brought out a manila folder and handed it to Brian.

"A new project?" Brian asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Something like that," Justin answered mysteriously.

Brian opened the folder and looked at what was inside. He felt a flood of millions of different emotions course through his body all at once.

"I went to the doctor today because I was still feeling queasy," Justin explained.

Brian looked up from the photo. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Justin moved off the desk and crawled onto Brian's lap. "I know how disappointed you got a couple of weeks ago when the home test said I wasn't pregnant."

"But you were." Brian couldn't fight the tears in his eyes. “Right?”

"I’m seven weeks along," Justin said softly.

"And this is our baby?" Brian said curiously. "It looks like a picture of some intergalactic galaxy."

Justin laughed. "Yeah, that's our baby. Though I'm sure that to the baby, my womb isn't too far off from that. The doctor said the pictures will get much better as the baby grows. They might even be able to tell the baby’s sex by my next appointment, but I’m still not sure I want to know or not."

"I can't believe this," Brian whispered. He set the picture back into the folder and put his arms around Justin.

Justin kissed Brian's jaw, feeling his throat closing up from the emotions that began to soar within him from seeing his husband give him the biggest smile he’d ever received. "We did it, Dada," Justin told Brian, his voice raspy from holding back oncoming tears.

Brian kissed Justin's still-swollen lips and spoke in a choked voice, "You're having my baby, Daddy.”

December 24, 2007

Brian let out a long sigh as he pulled into Britin's driveway behind Jennifer's car. There was no point in turning off the ignition. They'd be leaving to go to Debbie's as soon as he changed clothes. He'd talked to Justin about twenty minutes ago. He was relieved to know that his husband and children were just fine and would be ready to leave.

Brian got out of the SUV. He'd taken Justin's car just in case Justin had decided instead to leave without him. Though he hated driving it, he did what he needed to do. A smile was plastered on his face as he trudged up to the house through the snow.

He reached the front door and saw that it was a little cracked open. Brian felt his blood run cold as he pushed it open the rest of the way. He cautiously entered the entryway and listened for any sounds but heard none. His skin prickled with fear as he walked slowly down the hall and stepped into the living room. His eyes scanned the room and saw the monstrosity that his brain was nearly incapable of comprehending.

Brian fell back against the wall and closed his eyes. "No…" he whispered, debating with himself on whether or not to open his eyes again. But he did.

Jennifer, Justin, Zaira and Reaghan were all lying on the sofa in front of the Christmas Tree. Each one had their eyes open in a dead stare, their clothing stained with blood from what looked to be gunshot wounds. Brian felt his stomach turn and he coughed as he fought down the bile rising in his throat.

"Mr. Kinney!" a steely voice roared his name.

Brian spun around and looked over at the owner of the deadly voice. A man dressed in all black and sporting a ski mask was pointing a gun at him. "Mr. Kinney!" the man shouted at him angrily.

Brian forced himself to step away from the wall, intent on dying himself. He didn't want to live this ending again! Never again! He didn't want to live without his family! That was no fucking life. But he didn't know what the fuck he could do to fix any of it. He wondered if maybe the point to all it was... for him to die. "Yes," Brian rasped out, tears falling down his cheeks.

The man came closer and closer, but Brian stood straight and tall as he did.

The man snarled at him, "You just don't get it yet, do you?"

Brian’s blurry eyes looked over at his dead family and then back into the red eyes of the gunman. "No…I don’t," he whispered.

"You asked for this chance," the man roared, his hot breath breathing against Brian’s face.

"I don't want them to die!" Brian told him.

"But they will because you just don't get it," the man placed the gun to Brian's forehead.

Brian felt the cold metal press into his skin and he barely heard the shot as it was released from the gun and the bullet rained into his skull.

***

"Nooo!" Brian bolted up in the bed, his breath labored and he looked at Justin who was standing beside their bed holding a breakfast tray.

"Merry Christmas Eve, Dada!"

"Merry Cwissmiss Eve, Dada!"

"Merry Christmas Eve, Brian," Justin said slowly, startled by Brian's intense and fearful green gaze.