BRIAN

We all head to our cars to go to the diner. Michael tells me that he, JR, Joanne, and Ben have to ride with us. Michael took a cab here instead of bringing his own car. I tell him with Justin and the kids in my car, we would only have room for two more people and Ted has room for them. Michael tells Ben to let the girls ride with Ted. Justin rolled his eyes and got the kids in the car. Michael told Justin he should sit in the back. Michael wanted to ride in the front so he could talk to me. I took Michael and Ben to Ted and told JR and Joanne to come with us.

Michael promptly huffed and puffed, he thought we would be able to spend time together on the ten-minute ride. We got to the diner and the girls ran to Deb. Deb told me that we should sit in the big booth and the two surrounding it.

I have to say watching a grown man try to tell my ten-year-old son to sit in the other booth so he could sit with me was mind-blowing. I think watching Deb grab him by his ear was the topper on Mikey’s personal best of dumb hits.

“Michael, sit with your family. I kept that booth so Justin and Brian could have room for the girls and Gus.” Deb tells him.

“Ma, there is enough room for me to sit there too. I know, how about Calvin, Blake, and Justin sit with the kids and the gang can sit together.” Michael tells all of us.

“I need to sit with Beth and Victoria, Michael. They need help eating. You can sit with whoever has room for you.” I tell him.

“The others can take care of the kids. We hardly have time to talk anymore. Is it so hard to sit with me?” Michael starts to whine.

Deb tells Michael to sit his ass in the seat. We finally get seated and start to order.

“Da, want bean,” Victoria tells me.

“Yucky, want salad.” Beth tells me.

“Deb can you get Victoria green beans instead of fries and Beth a small chef salad with ranch, they’ll both have half a turkey on whole wheat and two orange juices. Justin and Gus will have their usuals and turkey on whole wheat for me.” I wanted to get the order in so we could go.

“What kid eats green beans? I mean, they could have fries and a burger.” Michael comments.

“The girls eat with Brian most of the time so they picked up his habit of eating healthy. Gus is the only one who likes to eat fatty foods like I do.” Justin tells Michael.

“Brian, what are you doing tonight?” Michael asks and ignores Justin.

“I think it’s great the girls are eating a healthy diet. I think Ted and I will make sure to start doing that now. So when the baby is born, we can keep the baby on a healthy diet.” Blake tells Justin.

“Brian, I asked what are you doing tonight?” Michael repeats again.

“Emmett and I have a hard time feeding Mark healthy foods because he got used to everything being fried when he lived with my ex,” Calvin adds.

“You could start by baking your foods with a little olive oil. Beth, Victoria, and Gus love when I make baked asparagus. When you put it in the oven it crisps them.” Justin tells them.

“BRIAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT,” Michael yells and startles the girls.

Justin and I have to grab the girls because he scared them with the yelling. Beth put her hands over her ears and Victoria buried her face in Justin’s neck. We soothe them and they calm down enough to sit back down. I was getting up to kill the fucker for scaring the girls when I feel Deb put her hand on my shoulder.

“What the fu... devil are you yelling like that for Michael?” Deb has been working on not cursing around the girls.

“I asked a question and everyone started talking about eating habits. They could have shut up long enough for me to get an answer.” Michael whines.

“Michael, do us all a favor and don’t worry about what I have planned for my evening,” I tell him.

“Michael we have plans to go out with JR and Joanne tonight. Why are you asking Brian about his plans?” Ben asks him.

“Brian could still come out with us. Brian and I could hang out, JR and Joanne are going to want to play by themselves anyway.” Michael tells Ben.

“It really doesn’t matter Michael, I have plans to spend time with my kids. Gus is going back to Linds and Mel tomorrow.” I tell him.

Michael looks like he wants to say more, but Ben tells him to stop. We all eat and I tell everyone we have to go. Michael tells us he’ll walk us to the car so we can talk. I tell him the car is parked out front and we really have to go. After we get in the car and start to drive off, I see Michael trying to wave us down. I just drove off instead of putting it in reverse and driving over Michael.

MICHAEL

Everyone acts like I ask too much of my best friend. Brian hasn’t spent any time with me. I told Ben it’s not fair that Justin gets all Brian’s time and I have to settle for seeing him when he is out and about.

“Michael, I’m not going to keep repeating that you need to leave Brian to his own life. You need to wait for him to call you. You’re pestering everyone and they don’t appreciate you doing it.” Ben tells me.

“All I did was ask what he was doing. Everyone was going on and on about fucking vegetables. I only yelled because it was rude that they didn’t let Brian answer me.” I tell Ben.

“No, it was rude to shout so loud you scared two babies,” Ben tells me.

“I didn’t scare them, they didn’t even cry. Justin made it look like they were scared because he grabbed one.” I tell Ben.

“So Brian grabbed the other baby to make you look bad too?” Ben asks me.

“No, he was just doing what Justin did,” I tell Ben.

Ben tells me children are frightened of loud noises and I was unbelievably loud. Ma is loud, I just talked louder than the vegetable patrol, so I could be heard. I thought of a way to for Brian to go out with me, but when I tried to wave him down he kept driving.

LINDS

I tried to get Mel to go to the diner when Michael called to say Brian wanted him and Ben to go with them. Mel told me we are going to lunch and then to a movie. With the kids gone we could do things we wanted. I wanted to go to the diner.

We were having lunch at a new vegan restaurant, Michael calls and ask where we are.

“Linds and I are out to lunch. Is everything okay?” Mel asks him.

“I thought you would be home. Ben and I are going out with friends tonight and thought you two could take JR and Gus.” Michael tells Mel.

“Gus is staying with Brian tonight, or did Gus stay with you?” Mel asks him.

“Brian took Gus with him. He wanted to go out with Ben and I but didn’t want to leave Gus with Justin. I thought you guys could take the kids, so Brian would be free to come out with me.” Michael tells Mel.

“Unless Brian calls and tells me differently, Gus is staying with him tonight. We’ll be home around five if you want to drop off JR.” Mel tells him.

“Couldn’t you come home earlier? I have to be able to have definite plans before I call Brian.” Michael snipes at Mel.

“I can come home now Michael if you taking JR on your weekend is too much effort.  Brian offered to let JR spend the night at their house, but you and Ben wanted to take JR and Joanne. What are you planning to do with Joanne, Michael?” Mel asks.

“Can’t you call her mother or something? Ben wasn’t thinking when he invited Joanne to stay.” I tell Mel.

“No. If you want to send her friend home you get to be the bad guy. Linds and I made plans and we will be home at five. If you aren’t keeping JR you need to take Joanne home and tell your daughter you couldn’t keep your word.” Mel tells him.

“Fuck it. I swear you act like I ask all the time. It’s just one night. I guess I need to tell Brian you guys can’t help out with your kids.” Michael tells Mel.

“Michael, you wanted visitation rights. Your custody agreement states every other weekend. Maybe you need to get a calendar and start keeping track of the weekends. I mean, today was your day, and so far you have sent JR home so you could attend a party, Brian takes her and you show up and take her but want us to get her back again. Ben shouldn’t have volunteered to have Joanne at your house tonight if you weren’t going to follow through. If this is how it’s going to work, maybe it’s time to revisit the agreement.” Mel tells him.

“Never mind. I don’t need you to act like I was pawning her off. I wanted to have a gang night, since with Gus going home, Brian would be free.” Michael hangs up.

This is what I have been talking about. Brian was going to leave Justin to take care of the kids and run off to party. Why doesn’t anyone listen to me? Justin needs to tell Brian to take care of his kids. If I don’t start helping Justin, Brian is going to cause him to lose his footing in the art world.

JUSTIN

Brian and I made it a rule that we don’t answer our cell phones for Michael and Linds when we’re home. Mel knows to call if it’s an emergency, and well, to Michael an emergency is Brian not being at his beck and call. So when Mel called me, I answered.

“Justin, did Brian want me to get Gus this evening?” Mel asks me.

“No. We were going to have a movie night with the kids. Brian wants to try out the new theater room. That was why we invited JR to come tonight.” I told her.

Mel tells me about the phone call from Michael. I told her Brian never said he was going to do anything with Michael. I asked if Michael was taking JR home. Mel said that she pissed Michael off and he’ll probably keep her to make a point that he can stick to the custody agreement.

I told Brian about Michael’s plans.

“Didn’t they have Joanne tonight too?” He asks me.

“Michael wanted the girls to either let Joanne stay with them or tell her mother there was a change of plans. Mel told Michael she was not going to be the bad guy.” I tell Brian.

You know, it’s like when you try to explain anything to Michael, the two brain cells that process his thinking get overcome by brain cell three yelling, "but Brian is my best friend.”