It was a week later and Brian had yet to improve his outlook any.  Part of him wondered why he continued to try, but a much larger part of him refused to give up or back down to any situation – especially his own failure.  On top of that, he had begun sensing strange vibes from Justin, there were times when the blond was looking at him like he was contemplating something, but whatever question was on Justin’s mind he never spoke it aloud – at least not to him.

It worried him whenever Justin started thinking.

But he had far more important things going on that required his attention, he couldn’t wonder about Justin.  For example, he had just received the latest of his credit card bills.  They were in a pile on his counter and sitting there mockingly – laughing at him.  And then, next to his pile of bills, was one sheet – his bank statement – just enough to cover the minimum payment.

“Shit…”  He murmured as he leaned his elbows on the shoulder and closed his eyes.  He gripped his hair and had a brief moment of panic before he calmed himself back down.  “Ok, Kinney.”  He said aloud to the empty loft.  “Just…say goodbye to the last cent you own.”  He murmured, looking down at the statement.

He picked up the paper and looked forlorn.  Oddly enough his mind suddenly went back several weeks when he and Justin had joked about how to pay off the mounting debt he faced.  ‘How many blowjobs can you give an hour?’  He smirked a bit, then wondered if maybe theyboth gave blowjobs it might help.

Like a man walking to his death, Brian turned away from the counter and walked to his computer.  He accessed his bank account and quickly made the transfers to satisfy the credit card companies for another month; after this, he had no idea what he’d do.  He’d lost his money, his possessions, his pride – he supposed all that was left was the roof over his head.

‘And Justin.’  He thought to himself briefly, surprising himself.  There was a distance between them ever since Justin had crawled back to him after his failed relationship with Ethan.  Brian had imposed it, not willing to let Justin believe everything was fine.  However, even though he was the one who insisted on this boundary, he still cared just as much for Justin as he did before – if not more so.  The distance was just a punishment for losing his silly little head in flowers and violin music.  He knew it would never last between the two little artists the moment Justin walked away at Babylon, but that didn’t stop it from hurting, which meant Justin had to pay his dues.

‘Maybe that’s what he keeps thinking about.’  Brian wondered as he leaned back in his chair at his desk.  He lit up a cigarette and blew it out slowly. Realizing he was making himself melancholy, Brian suddenly stood and tried to shake all those old feelings away.  ‘He’s back where he belongs, that’s all that matters.’  He told himself firmly.

And then, as if he were the devil himself, Justin suddenly pulled the door open and strode into the loft.  He entered in flurry, his face in a scowl and his hair whipping back and forth as he continually shook his head, muttering to himself.  Brian raised his eyebrows in shock, as it was a rare thing to see Justin so incensed, but before he could ask what was the matter, the blond started to rant.

“You won’t believe the shit I had to deal with at the diner today.”  Justin informed, furiously slamming his shoulder bag onto the counter.  The force of which sent Brian’s bills and bank statement flying onto the floor.

As Justin continued to explain what went wrong Brian tuned him out and focused on the documents; he couldn’t let Justin see those.  As far as Justin knew, everything was still fine.  He continually lied to the younger man because he didn’t want him to worry, nor did he want his sympathy.  One charitable donation from Justin was bad enough, he didn’t need the blond spending all his hard earned tips on his bills.

He nonchalantly walked over to the pile as if he were merely straightening up after Justin – which was a common enough occurrence – and made it seem as though he were listening to every word Justin had said.

“-Not always right!  Who does he think he is?!  The Pope?!  God, Brian!  He was such a moron!”  Justin ran his hands through his hair as he began pacing through the open areas of the loft.  “Telling me how to do my job, as if I had just started!  Well I showed him.  Guess what I did.  Spit in his food!  I hope he choked on it!”  Justin shouted triumphantly.  “Oh and get this!  When I was refilling his mug he grabbed my ass!  After everything he said to me, he still hit on me!  Can you believe that?!”

Brian shot an appreciative glance at Justin’s ass as he turned to continue pacing.  Yes.  He could.

He finished picking up the papers and slid them into the trashcan, hoping Justin wouldn’t brave the discarded food in order to satisfy any curiosity he might have.  He then leaned forward on the counter and continued listening as an attentive partner.

When Justin finally finished he turned to look back at him and Brian really only had one question.  “Was he hot?”

Justin’s mouth dropped a bit and then he smiled a little and shook his head in amusement.  “Kind of.  I mean, I probably would have fucked him if he hadn’t called me incompetent.”

‘Maybe if you spit in fewer people’s food they wouldn’t call you that.’  Brian thought, but wisely kept his mouth shut.

Justin then looked a little embarrassed and put his hands up to his enflamed cheeks.  “Sorry about the papers.  Were they important?”  He asked as he tried to cool himself off from his anger.

Brian just shook his head and walked out from behind the island.  “Nah.”  He murmured and then started peeling off Justin’s clothes; what better way to distract him than by getting naked?

Justin’s eyes flashed with arousal and he quickly began reciprocating, tugging at Brian’s jeans and then running his hands up Brian’s chest, beneath his shirt.  Brian lifted his arms so Justin could take it off and then the blond bent a bit to place wet kisses on Brian’s defined chest.  He knelt and began kissing his stomach, flicking his tongue out at Brian’s navel.

Brian reached down and let his fingers slide through Justin’s blond hair, reveling in the softness of the strands that had become so familiar to him.  His touch wasn’t aggressive, he didn’t dig his hands in and tug – though it wouldn’t have been the first time he’d done so.  Instead, it was a caress.  Justin went even lower and soon engulfed his stiff member between his lips.

Justin sucked him off right there, in the middle of their former living room which was now just an empty space.  It made Brian’s day a little less gloomy and even managed to distract himself from the trashed pile of bills.

Later, after Brian had well and thoroughly pounded Justin’s ass so much the younger man complained that he wouldn’t be able to walk anymore (which only made Brian feel better), they lay on his bed smoking and staring up at the ceiling.

“You know,” Justin said, his voice in that hesitant tone Brian had come to associate with Justin saying something he knew he shouldn’t say.  But damn if the kid didn’t say it anyway.  “There is a perk to the whole…unemployment thing.”  He finished and Brian sighed.  He’d done so well to forget about all of that while he was balls deep in Justin’s ass.

“Oh?”  He asked, grabbing the cigarette and inhaling deeply.  He held it for a moment, letting the smoke and nicotine fill his system, before letting it out in a huff.  “What’s that?”

He asked as he passed it back over.  Justin took a similarly deep draw, but his ended in a few coughs and Brian had the cigarette swiftly shoved back at him.  A few ashes fell on his sheets, but at this point he didn’t care.  When Justin got his coughing under control he continued as if nothing had happened.

“You can fuck me in the middle of the day now.”  Justin said, turning and smiling in that way that always made Brian’s heart clench at the beauty of it.

“As if that stopped us before.  I seem to recall many a lunch break spent with you bent over the copier.”  Instead of nostalgia at past fucks, all Brian felt was regret at having lost his old job.  At the time it had seemed like the right decision, but now, with nothing but a hot blond lying next to him, he doubted the wisdom of his choice.  It would have been better to be a laky with a fat paycheck and non-competition clause than a CEO of nothing.

“Yeah, but now you don’t have to keep me quiet.”  Justin said, reaching out for the cigarette again.

Brian snorted as he handed it over.  “You, quiet?  ‘Oh faster, Mr. Kinney.  Harder.’”

“’Faster’?  ‘Harder’?  I’m more creative than that.”  Justin insisted, but only received a smirk from Brian.

‘That you are, but not when you’re talking dirty.’  Brian thought, but again, kept quiet.  He didn’t fuck Justin to listen to him spout off dirty words – the whimpers and moans more than made up for it anyway.

“I’m starving.”  Justin suddenly said, in a complete non sequitur.  Justin suddenly stood and walked stark naked to the kitchen where he began to forage for food.

“What happened to being too fucked to walk?”  Brian asked as he finished the cigarette and then snuffed the butt on his ashtray.

“I just needed time to coalesce.”  Justin said, his head in the fridge.  He was slightly bent over, giving Brian a rather delightful view.  “Besides, the post sex high always makes everything seem fuzzy.  But now I’m feeling ebullient.”

Brian paused and then rolled his eyes.  It was so like Justin to be talking like a normal person and then throw out some random word just to prove he scored a 1500 on his SATs.  “Yeah well why don’t you ebulliently make us something to eat.  I’m going to take a shower.”  Brian turned and walked into the bathroom.

“Don’t use all the hot water.  I picked up someone’s shift tonight and need to shower before I go back in.”  Justin called from the kitchen.  It made Brian stop and walk out enough to look at him from the top of the bedroom steps.

“You don’t have to work double shifts, Justin.”  Brian said firmly.

“It’s fine.”  Justin insisted, beginning to cut up some lettuce for a salad.  “I mean, it’s not like the money is going to hurt, is it?”  He asked, once again in that tone that said he knew he shouldn’t be saying it – but he had every right to.

Brian’s eyes trailed to the kitchen island, where his bank statement rested in a pile of trash.  He knew Justin was nervous about talking over Brian’s financial situation, especially because Brian hated talking about it himself, but in this instance he wanted to make something very clear to his young partner.  “Everything is fine.  Ok?  How many times have I told you that I still have enough to cover everything?  It’s not your responsibility.  You don’t even live here.”  He added the last bit hoping it would hurt Justin just a bit, and thus make him not want to help at all.

Justin didn’t answer.  Instead, he gave Brian that same look he’d been giving him all week.  Brian didn’t know what it meant, he didn’t know what Justin was thinking, but he did know that he hated that look.  Justin wore it while he fucked Ethan behind his back and he didn’t like that he wore it now that he had nothing to offer.  ‘If he wants to leave, then he should just fucking leave.’  Brian thought to himself, got sick of their staring contest, and stomped into the bathroom.

He sighed once he was under the hot, steaming water and tried to relax.

Justin turned back to the food when Brian left.  He slowly finished chopping up the lettuce and put the heart of it in the trash.  He saw the pile of papers he had knocked over earlier and paused when he saw the header as one from Brian’s bank.  He glanced to the bathroom, wondering if Brian might suddenly leap out and find him snooping, but when all he heard was the running water he reached in and pulled it out.

“Six hundred…He only has six hundred dollars left?”  He asked himself in a whisper and then looked in and saw the pile of bills.  He slowly pulled them out; five different credit card bills.  ‘I maxed out five gold credit cards.’  Justin recalled Brian saying when he had first learned about who ‘Concerned Citizens for the Truth’ really were.

Looking at the minimum amount due he realized that Brian would have nothing left.  So much for everything being fine.

“I can see you worrying.  Stop it.”  Brian insisted as he dropped Justin off at the diner for his second shift that day.

“I just-.”

“It’s none of your business.  Leave it alone.”  Brian insisted, this time in a much more stern voice – one that he always knew frightened Justin and so he used it only when he really had to.  His blue eyed lover flashed him a sad look, but whether it was for the reprimand or the situation Brian didn’t know, and didn’t want to find out.

Justin simply leaned over in the small corvette and placed a chaste kiss on the side of Brian’s mouth.  “Later.”  He murmured, and Brian nodded once.

“Later.”  He returned and then watched Justin slip out of the ‘vette and weave his way inside.  He pulled out of his spot immediately.

He didn’t tell Justin, but as he was showering he came to a decision.  He really would be much better off as Gardner’s laky with a fat paycheck then losing what little he had left.  He was going to have to sell his loft if he didn’t think of something else soon.  So, with a heavy heart, he drove to VanGard and prepared to swallow what was left of his pride and beg for his job back.

When he arrived he was treated like a stranger, though he did catch a glance from Cynthia and she shot him a curious look, clearly asking what he was doing there.  However, he didn’t have the courage to tell her and just motioned that she should carry on her way.  He was led to Gardner’s office, where the man was sitting back in his chair and enjoying a glass of brandy, looking smug and satisfied.  “Brian!”  Gardner greeted him with false sincerity.

“Gardner.”  Brian bit out, but reminded himself that if he had any hope, he’d need to suck up to this man.

“How’s the business?”  Gardner asked, his smile getting broader and more condescending.

“Cut the bullshit.  You know how it is.”  Brian answered, standing and crossing his arms over his chest.  Gardner finished his drink and then stood as well, ostensibly to refill it, but Brian knew it was to put them on even footing – so to speak.  He offered a tumbler to Brian, but the brunet turned it down.

“So, let me get this straight.  You leave, mocking me as you go, practically vowing that you’re going to steal all of your old clients and put me out of business.  And now you’ve come to ask for your job back?”  Gardner asked, his accent making his words sound menacing, even if they were only meant to mock.  Brian stiffened and clenched his hands that were hidden beneath his arms.

“You did some shit.  I did some shit.  But you know I’m the best ad-exec out there.  You need me.”  Brian said confidently, letting his arms fall to his side as he unclenched his hands.

Gardner eyed him a bit and then shrugged as if conceding a point.  “That may be true, but I can’t trust you.”

“This is advertising, Gardner.  You can’t trust anybody.  Or do you not remember that dirty police chief you almost made mayor?”  Brian asked and then took a few steps closer to the desk.  “You don’t need trust.  You need skill.  And I’m the best.  I can go out and get you more big name clients.”  Brian promised, hating that he had to resort to this.  Then he thought of the empty bank account he had and the look Justin gave him.  He didn’t have a choice.

“Brian, you’re good.  I can’t deny that.  And I kind of respect you.  But I can’t let you come back.  You made your bed.  Now lie in it.”  Gardner said stiffly.

Brian scowled a little, but then spun on his heel and left the office as swiftly as possible.  He didn’t want to be there any longer than was necessary.  Gardner had been his last chance; if he won’t hire him, who would?

Even though it was only the early evening, Brian went to Woody’s and began drinking.  He used the last of the money Justin gave him to get himself as drunk as humanly possible.

Down the street at the diner, Justin was busy with the dinner rush.  At this point, having worked at the diner for several years, he could handle the entire restaurant on his own, even in the middle of the rush.  However, he shared the floor with Debbie and the two easily worked the place and placated the hungry men who came in before a night on the town.

For Justin, that also meant letting his ass be grabbed about every thirty seconds.  If it weren’t for the great tips, he’d probably say something.  As it was, he usually got a few extra bucks thrown his way whenever he flashed a come-hither smile so it couldn’t hurt.  After all, he knows he really needs to make as much money as possible.  Not only had he been continually giving it to Brian by slipping it in the man’s wallet when he wasn’t looking, but he owed Daphne his share of the rent.

A few hours later the rush died down and he and Debbie were sharing a plate of fries and exchanging stories about their most interesting customers of the night when a few more walked in.  Debbie went to go greet them, but Justin stopped her with a shake of his head.  “I got it.  You just relax.”  He said, ostensibly to give her some more time off her feet, but really he just wanted the tip.

He walked up to them, pulled out his pad and put on a bright smile.  As he approached, however, he heard what they were talking about.  “-Kinney.  He’s still there.”

Justin paused and looked at them intently, his server’s smile fading.  “Where’s Brian?”  He asked, and they looked up at him swiftly, initially angry at his eavesdropping – but really what did they expect when he was their server – but then they realized who he was and they seemed much more eager to speak.

‘Ahh yes.’  Justin thought amusedly.  ‘Everyone knows the paramour of Brian A. Kinney.’ 

“At Woody’s.  Apparently he’s been there for hours getting shit faced.”  One of them answered, a light haired kid Justin realized he’d fucked before.

‘Not again…What happened this time?’  Justin thought as he sighed and rolled his eyes.  He glanced down at his pad and then back to Debbie.  “Hey, I got to make sure Brian doesn’t get himself killed.”  He explained to Debbie, letting amusement through his voice so Debbie knew he was kidding – but he was more serious than he let on.  Something bad must have happened.

“You go ahead, Sweetie.  I’ll take care of things here.”  Debbie said, standing swiftly and patting his cheek.  Justin unlooped the apron from his neck, grabbed his things, and swiftly went down the street to Woody’s.

It didn’t take long, and when he walked inside he spotted Brian right away.  It wasn’t hard as there wasn’t anybody else standing up on their chair attempting to get up on the table.  Justin was sure that if it had been anybody else, the bartenders or manager might interfere, but not with Brian.  Realizing he might seriously hurt himself if he fell, Justin weaved through the crowd goading Brian on and swiftly grabbed the man’s arms to begin pulling him down.

“Sunshine!”  Brian called loudly, his breath reeking of alcohol.  Justin received a few boos from the assembled crowd for ending the show and he wondered just what it was Brian promised to show them and was inexplicably pleased he arrived in time.

“Come on, Bri.  Let’s go home.  Where is your car?”  He asked, patting Brian’s jeans down to find which pocket the keys were in.

“Weren’t you working?”  Brian suddenly asked as if he hadn’t even heard Justin’s question.  He then reached down to Justin’s hand and moved it so it slid in the front of his jeans.  “You missed.”  Brian teased.

Justin snapped his hand back as though he’d been scalded.  Brian suddenly scowled at his reaction and turned to scan the crowd.  “Fine.  I can find someone else.”  He said, gently shoving Justin away.  He then pointed randomly into the circle of men surrounding them.  “You.  C’mere.”  He drawled; it was a testament to Brian’s reputation that the man did so regardless of Brian’s current condition.

Justin held his hand out to the trick’s chest and stopped him from advancing further.  Changing tactics, he gently rubbed his palm over the bulge in Brian’s pants.  Brian bent his head down and pressed his nose against the shell of Justin’s ear, taking in a deep breath of Justin’s hair.  His tongue then flicked out and he licked down Justin’s cheek.

Knowing he had him hooked, Justin began backing away, leading Brian out of the bar.  Like a dog following a treat, Brian followed Justin until they were on the street.  Justin then reached up and looped his hand behind Brian’s neck, giving him a deep and plundering kiss.  “Be right back…”  He murmured in a husky tone.

“Hurry…”  Brian murmured, drunkenly reaching into his own pants and stroking himself, right there on the street.  “Wanna fuck…”

“No surprise there.”  Justin whispered too quietly for Brian to hear.  He then went back into the bar and to the bartender.  “How much do I owe you?”  He asked, reaching into his pocket to pull out the tips he’d made that night.  As much of a huff Brian had made about it earlier, it turned out to be a good thing he’d worked tonight.

“86.” The man said, pulling out Brian’s tab.

“Shit!  What did he drink?”  Justin demanded, grabbing the receipt and looking at the drinks Brian had ordered.  All of them were top shelf cocktails.  “Son of a bitch…”  Justin grumbled and reached into his pocket to pull out his tips.  He had made a little over a hundred for the night, but it still stung having to hand most of it over.  He then walked back outside and grabbed Brian none too gently and practically ordered him to take him to the car.

Brian, however, was much more interested in sucking on his neck.  “Brian, stop…stop it.”  Justin said, gently pushing him away.  “We can fuck when we get home.  Where’s the car?”  He asked, grabbing the side of Brian’s face and forcing him to look in his eyes.

“Need to be inside you.”  Brian murmured deeply, bending to capture Justin’s lips.

“One track mind….”  Justin spoke against his lips and then found Brian’s tongue in his mouth.  “Nn!”  Justin protested, not because he didn’t enjoy it, but because he really just wanted to get home and get this day over with.  He’d worked two shifts and had to figure out what made Brian get shit faced when they had no money to spend on booze.

He pulled himself away and then grabbed Brian’s hand and started exploring places where Brian commonly parked.  It only took two or three nearby alleys before Justin finally found it.  “There!  Come on.”  He said, continuing to drag Brian behind him.  He pulled open the door and got Brian buckled in.  The man was starting to pass out where he sat.  Justin got into the driver’s seat and gave him a sad look.

He wondered briefly if Brian had tricked tonight, but whether or not he had didn’t matter to him.  ‘Figure yourself out, Justin.’  He berated himself.  He was still in limbo about these new feelings he had for Brian.  He didn’t know what they meant, or what they would mean for their relationship.

When he got them back to the loft, he struggled to get Brian up the elevator in what was starting to become an annoying habit.  The man would have to learn to deal with things a different way, because this type of drinking wasn’t sustainable; not for their budget, or Brian’s health.

Once again Brian passed out when Justin laid him on the bed.  He stripped him of his clothes and grabbed the wallet from Brian’s jeans.  With a bit of sadness, he slipped the last of his day’s tips in there, hoping that from now on Brian might be a bit more responsible with the way he spent his money.

Once that was done he covered Brian with a blanket and silently walked down the steps of the bedroom.  He walked to the kitchen island and sat with a loud huff.  ‘Why does he have to make things so hard?’  Justin thought sadly. 

It seemed like every day since he’d met Brian it had been an uphill battle.  Crawling, clawing, begging, and fighting to get to some kind of semblance of a relationship.  ‘Maybe that’s what I’ve been feeling.  That it just isn’t worth it anymore.’  He thought, figuring that would account for his not caring about Brian’s tricks.  He still loved Brian, but maybe he’d just realized being with him was too much effort.

And yet, when Brian was near, he felt as if his skin was on fire and his heart was racing.  ‘But that’s just desire.  I mean, he’s hot.  But I can’t be someone’s fuck buddy for the rest of my life.’  He frowned and spun on the bar stool to look over at Brian, sleeping on the bed.  “What am I supposed to do?”  He asked himself in a soft whisper.

He jumped when the ringing of his cell phone instantly cut off his thoughts.  He reached into his pocket and pulled it out.  Seeing it was Daphne, he smiled a bit and quickly flipped it open.  “Hey Daph’.”  He greeted, letting his exhaustion come through in his voice.

“Hey, I thought you were coming back here tonight.  We were going to watch Moulin Rouge.”  Daphne whined through the line; Justin could hear popcorn popping through the phone and figured she got on well enough without him.

“Yeah, something came up.”  He said, letting his gaze fall upon Brian yet again.  He thought he’d rather be curled up on the couch with Daphne.

“I can guess what.  That’s fine.  I’ll just watch it by myself.”  She sighed dramatically and Justin rolled his eyes.

“Oh come on, you’ll be fine.”  He said and they chuckled a little.  Then, remembering that he owed Daphne money and had just given it all to Brian, he felt a momentary flare of panic.  “Hey, umm…Can I talk to you about something?”  He asked, standing and nervously pacing.

“What is it?”  Daphne’s voice turned serious, as his had, and he knew she could sense his nervousness.  “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, I…It’s just…”  He nervously scratched at the back of his neck.  “It’s about rent.  I know my payment is due but, I don’t have it.”  He admitted, deciding to get it right out in the open.

“But, well I mean if you don’t have the money that’s fine Justin, but you’ve been working all the time.”  Daphne said, clearly sounding confused.

“I know.  It’s -.”  He stopped, knowing Brian wouldn’t want other people to know how bad off they were.  “It’s just that the tips have been bad and I’ve had to put it towards meds.  You know, my migraine ones and the muscle relaxants both ran out this month.  Not to mention my allergy meds.”  He added for good effect.  He did need more, so it wasn’t a lie, but the money had gone to Brian’s drinking binge.

“Oh.  Well that’s fine, Justin.  Besides, you barely sleep here as it is.  You practically live at Brian’s again, so don’t worry about.  You know my parents pay my half and I can just tell them I need the full amount.”  Daphne explained, sounding relieved.

“Ok so, we’re good?  I mean, you’re not mad at me?”  Justin asked, suddenly realizing he’d been really worried that she would be.  Daphne just scoffed on the other end of the line and Justin felt a huge weight lift off of him.

“Of course we’re fine.  You’re meds are way more important.”  The was a the sound of a bag ripping open and Justin imagined Daphne holding the phone between her ear and shoulder as she poured it into the bowl.  If he had his choice, he’d be there right now instead of knowing he’d have to wake up with another hung over Brian.

“Cool.  Well, I got to go.  I’ll talk to you later.”  Justin said, not really in the mood for any more chat.  She’d just talk about the movie anyways.

He hung up and set the cellphone on the counter before running a hand through his hair.  It was still early – relatively speaking – but it had been a long day and all he wanted to do was sleep.  He made sure the alarm was set and the door was locked before he turned off all the lights and walked up the steps.  He stripped out of his clothes as he went, letting them lie as they dropped.

He slid into his side of the bed and rolled onto his side so he was facing Brian.  Still so many emotions and questions were swirling around his head.  He didn’t know what to do, or if it was worth it.  In the long run, he wanted it to be Brian with him ten, or twenty, years down the road.  But…in the meantime, he wasn’t sure he could handle the hassle of being with someone who wouldn’t even acknowledge their relationship.

As he did most every night, he reached out and ran his fingers down Brian’s side, enjoying the feeling of the toned body beneath his hand.  He scooted close enough to place a soft kiss on Brian’s shoulder and fell asleep to the familiar noise of the brunet’s light snoring.

The next morning, Justin wasn’t surprised to wake up before Brian.  He was surprised, however, to find that he was curled up against the man, their limbs tangled together in a mess.  Several years ago Justin did his very best to get them in this very position, but as time went on he realized Brian really disliked it and he tried to give the man some space.

Knowing Brian wasn’t going to wake up for some time, Justin decided to take advantage of this chance and kept his head laying peacefully on Brian’s chest for a few moments.  He simply listened to the steady beating of his heart, and relaxed at the gentle rise and fall of his chest.  He also looped an arm over Brian’s stomach and laid there as the morning grew later and later.

When his stomach started growling about an hour later he decided it was time to get up and start being productive.  He untangled himself from Brian’s arms and then rolled and stood from the bed.  He stretched, then walked over to the closet and pulled on one of Brian’s old workout shirts.  They were worn, comfortable, and smelled of the older man.  He also grabbed some sweatpants that fell past his feet and let them scuff along the floor as he walked down the steps to start some coffee.

He was feeling good this morning.  Some time spent cuddling with Brian had put him in a good mood.  He fixed up his coffee and then meandered over to the desk to browse the internet a little before he had to get ready for work in a few hours.  As he did, his mind wandered to the bills he saw in the trash the day before.  ‘Could that be what caused Brian’s sudden binge?’

Nervously, he eyed the bedroom and then looked at the tab on the browser.  He quickly typed in Brian’s bank’s site and accessed his account.  He’d known how to access it for several years, but this was the first time he’d actually done it.  Brian had never explicitly told him he had permission to; Justin had just been sitting on his lap when Brian had checked his account.

When he opened up the account he wasn’t surprised to see it empty.  He then went onto his own account and saw he had received a payment for the latest issue of rage – the Razorback issue.  He’d received almost five hundred dollars for it.  He smiled, briefly proud of his accomplishment, but then knew immediately that he’d have to give it to Brian as he had his tips.  However, Brian would surely notice this, unlike cash secretly slipped into his wallet.

“You don’t have a choice.  He’s broke.  You have to do something.”  He told himself aloud to give him more courage.  He just knew Brian wouldn’t be so appreciative of his altruism.  A few clicks and then all of the Rage money was sent to Brian’s account.  He glanced back up to the bedroom and smiled sadly.   He didn’t care how Brian would react.  It was a small price to pay to help Brian for a little bit longer.

Later that afternoon, Justin was working the lunch shift at the diner feeling as if everything really was going to be alright.  He was chatting with Michael who, fresh off his trip with Hunter, was eager to learn about all of the gossip he’d missed while he was gone.  It was slow, as most of the diners were returning to work, so Justin had some time to sit at his booth with him and munch on his fries.  He enjoyed this new friendship he had with Michael, so it only continued his good mood.

Unfortunately, it all came to a crashing halt when someone opened the door to the diner so hard the bell flew off and clanged onto the floor.  “What the fuck?”  Justin asked, surprised, and spun around.  He furrowed his brows when he saw Brian standing there, looking like some kind of avenging angel – or maybe demon is more accurate.  Justin had never seen that much fire in the man’s eyes before.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”  Brian demanded, ignoring everyone else in the diner and glaring Justin down.  “You think I’m pathetic?  You think I need your fucking handouts?  I don’t need anything from you!”  He shouted, reaching into his pocket and throwing five hundred dollar bills on the table.  “You think that I’ve forgotten what a fool you made out of me?!   And now you’re trying to do it again with this?!”  He motioned to the money as a bit of spit flew from his mouth.

Justin’s eyes were wide and his heart was pounding in his chest.  His mouth opened, and yet no words came out.  He had no idea how to react to this.  He’d never seen Brian this angry before.  Annoyed, sure, but never angry.  The only time that came close was when the loft had been robbed.  With a sinking feeling in his stomach he remembered that it hadn’t worked out well for him then.

“N-no, I was just-.”  His voice was small, just like how he felt.

“Save it!  I’m so tired of you!  You’ve been following me around for the past three years like some kind of puppy!  Leave me the fuck alone!”  Brian’s hands were clenched and his entire body seemed on edge.  Justin just continued to stare.  “You’re not even that good of a fuck anymore.”  Brian spoke, his voice low and deliberate.  “It’s like that violinist ruined you for the one thing you were actually convenient for.”

With that, Brian spun and left – leaving the entire diner in a stunned haze behind him.

“Holy shit…”  Michael was the first to break the silence as his eyes slowly trailed from Brian’s retreating form to Justin’s speechless one in the booth.  Justin was staring down at the cash on the table.  Michael reached out and picked it up, flipping through the bills with curiosity.  “You gave him money?”  He asked, trying to piece together this new bit of information with what he already knew.

“He was broke.  He didn’t have any money left in his account.”  Justin explained, no longer concerned with protecting Brian’s secret after the way the man had just treated him.

“Shit.”  Michael murmured and then handed the money back over to Justin.  Justin took it, but it still seemed as if he was in shock.  Justin leaned back in the booth as the rest of the diners started whispering.  He could hear them talking about him and what Brian had said – that he wasn’t good anymore.

Things like ‘Kinney finally got bored of him’, and ‘It was only a matter of time’ stuck out to him.  His face suddenly got hot and he slunk even deeper into the booth.  Why had Brian humiliated him like that in front of everyone?  Michael passed him a compassionate look and then turned to the other diners.  “Will you all just shut the fuck up?!”  He shouted and instantly the chatter died down once more.

Justin gave Michael a small, grateful smile and then pressed his hands to his cheeks as he tried to cool them down.  “Thanks.”  He murmured and then straightened.  “I should…get back to work.”  He said, folding up the money and slipping it into his pocket as he slid out of the booth.

“Hey.”  Michael said, reaching out and grabbing Justin’s wrist.  “Look, you know Brian.”

“Yeah – I get it.  He’s prideful and I shouldn’t have tried to help.”  Justin muttered, knowing he shouldn’t have been surprised that Michael was taking Brian’s side, even in this.

“No.”  Michael insisted, standing along with Justin.  “I was going to say, you know Brian.  How many times have you watched him try to push someone away for their own good?”  Michael asked and suddenly Justin paused.

‘Is that what that was?’  He thought.  As he thought about it, it would make sense.  After all, when Brian felt someone was better off away from him he often gave them little choice and did it in a humiliating fashion.  Michael would know that better than anyone.  ‘But I don’t want to be pushed off Mount Kinney.’

And then, just like that, all of his strange confusing feelings made sense.  The realization that he didn’t want to live a life without Brian made everything slide into place.  He realized what it was he’d been feeling – love.  Not the puppy love he’d had for Brian before, the hopeless devotion, the mindless adoration.  He believed Brian to be a god, infallible, and perfect.  But after Ethan, he realized Brian wasn’t any of those things, and instead of making his love for Brian disappear, his love grew stronger, more true.  He only didn’t recognize it before because he’d never felt that kind of love before.

He suddenly smiled a little at this discovery.  ‘I love Brian.  I love Brian.’  He thought to himself proudly.  That was why he didn’t care about the tricks, because this new love he held for the man transcended those nameless and faceless men.  He would probably never understand Brian’s need to trick, but he understood that Brian did need it, and that was all that mattered to him.

“Are you ok?”  Michael asked and Justin realized he’d been standing there silently for a few moments.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine.”  He said, making sure his apron was tied securely around his waist before getting back to work.  “Thanks, Michael.  I needed a bit of a wake up call.  Don’t worry about Brian.  I’ve got it handled.”  He said and then Michael nodded a little, but still looked a bit confused.

“Are you sure?”  He asked and Justin nodded once more.

“Oh yeah.  Brian Kinney can’t stop me.  You should know that by now.”  Justin laughed and Michael chuckled a little.

“Yeah Boy Wonder, you’re pretty indestructible.  Good thing, for us.”  He added and then softly punched Justin’s shoulder.  “Anyway, I should get back to the shop.  I’m sure everything is covered in dust and it wouldn’t hurt to remind people that I’m still in business.”  He sighed and then Justin smiled and nodded.

“Yeah.  I’ll see you around.”  Justin waved as Michael handed him some money to pay for his meal and tip, then walked out of the diner.  Justin went to the cash register before clearing the table.  He then noticed the other diners were still looking at him.  He frowned and waved them off.  “Oh will you all just mind your own business?!”  They all ducked their heads so Justin turned back and went into the kitchen.

‘I love Brian.’  He though again, pleased.

There was only just one problem now.  Brian just pushed him off Mount Kinney.  He needed to get back on.

Brian sighed as he laid back and looked up at his ceiling.  He was thinking about how he should have waiting to shout at Justin until he had let the lad suck him off one last time, because now his dick was hard and he was alone in his apartment without anyone to service him.  He glanced over to his computer, and wondered if the effort to find someone on the internet was worth it; sometimes they showed up looking like trolls.

Absently, he reached down and began stroking himself.  His dick was hard and hot in his hand.  He let out a long, relaxing breath and then began quickening his pace as he jerked himself off.  When he was finished he looked down at the stream of cum on his stomach and grabbed the edge of the sheet to wipe himself off. 

Instead of satisfying him, the handjob only managed to make him even more turned on.  He didn’t even need Justin, any trick would do, unfortunately, he didn’t even have money to go out.  He would have to make do with himself for now.  Having no money was really going to fuck with his, well, fucking.

He scowled as he thought of that.  He needed regular release; he was Brian Fucking Kinney and fucking was what he did.

He turned over to look at the empty spot in his bed.  Anyone would do, really.  But it would be nice if it was Justin.  ‘But no.  He’s better off.’  He thought to himself as he reached over to get some lube and started jerking off again.

Justin chuckled as he and Daphne watched a sitcom on TV.  He munched on a big bowl of popcorn and was determined to focus on what was happening on TV rather than the relationship issues he had going on with Brian.  It wasn’t working.

‘He just has to complicate everything.’  He thought to himself as his eyes remained trained on the TV.  ‘Nothing is ever easy with Brian.  You have to fight through a mile of crap just to get to an inch of happiness.  It’s so hard being the only one fighting through it.’  He scowled a little, unaware that Daphne was looking at him.

“What did he do this time?”  She asked suddenly, cutting him from his thoughts.

“Huh?  Who?”  He asked and Daphne rolled her eyes and threw a kernel of popcorn at him.

“Him who?  Brian of course.  Ever since you met him it’s always been Brian.”  She said as she shifted on the couch so she was tilted towards him, instead of the TV.  “So what happened?  I mean, something must have.  You’re sleeping here instead of there and you look perturbed.”

Justin sighed and ran his hand through his shaggy blond hair.  “Nothing.  It’s just Brian being Brian.  Everything is hard because he always has to be in charge, can’t accept help from anyone, and can’t handle being broke.”  Justin snapped, grabbing the popcorn and hurling it on the floor in frustration.  He hadn’t meant to talk about it, but now that he’d started, the words started flowing.

“He’s just so convinced that he has to be alone, you know?  Like, if someone helps him then he’s a failure at life.  All I did was give him a few hundred dollars, because he was completely broke, and he flipped out.  He cursed at me in front of everyone in the diner.  Said all these really embarrassing things…And it’s not even that that I care about.  I don’t give a shit what they think about me; and Brian does this thing where he makes a big show out of it because then he thinks people won’t try to fight back.  But not me.  Nope.  Brian Kinney isn’t going to get rid of me.”  Justin nodded firmly and crossed his arms over his chest triumphantly.

Daphne looked at him a moment, slightly confused because she only felt as if she was getting half the information.  “So, wait…what did he do at the diner?”

“He broke up with me!  Or well, whatever it is you do when your people like Brian and I.  I mean, we’re partners, but we don’t really share anything.  And that’s the problem!  He is convinced that I can’t help him.  But I’m not seventeen anymore.”  Justin suddenly stopped and sat up straight.  “I’m not seventeen anymore, but he still treats me like I am.  I have to prove to him that I’m just a big a man as he is!  That’s it.  That’s how I get back up Mount Kinney!  Thanks Daph!”

Justin patted her on the shoulder and stood swiftly to retreat to his room and plan.  Daphne remained sitting on the couch, blinking slowly, not really sure what it is she did.  “Uhhh, sure.  Anytime.”  She spoke to the empty room.

The commercials suddenly ended and she looked back at the TV.  She glanced to Justin’s room wondering if he was going to come back, and then shrugged and popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth contently.

Two days later Brian was running out of things to clean in his loft.  He’d already scrubbed the entire loft clean, including his shower stall, and reorganized his small emergency food storage.  He had come across several bags of chips, a carton of Oreos, and a box of Captain Crunch that all had been Justin’s.  He swiftly threw them away.

Around noon he started working out – what else was he supposed to do? – but was interrupted by his cell phone ringing.  He was tempted to ignore it, but knew that he didn’t have anything better to do.  That, and he hadn’t talked to anyone in a few days and he was starting to feel strange.

He had been expecting the family to flood him with calls after his treatment of Justin at the diner, but no one had said a word to him.  He wondered if whether that was because Justin and Michael didn’t tell anyone, or if the silent treatment was his punishment.  He didn’t expect it of Justin, but Michael was always quick to run to Debbie when he thought Brian did something wrong.

When he picked up the phone, however, it was Cynthia’s name showing up on the screen.  He flipped it open slowly, wondering why his old assistant would be calling him.  “Cyn?”  He asked carefully.

“Boss, have I got news for you.”  Cynthia’s voice was low, but filled with excitement.

“Well?”  Brian asked, rubbing his face.  Honestly, he didn’t care what was going on over at VanGard; unless of course Gardner was running out of business himself.

“Someone turned him down.  Said Gardner’s ideas weren’t current enough; that he wanted a more modern approach to his advertising.”  Cynthia divulged and Brian immediately stopped and still.

‘Modern?  What could be more modern than unabashed sex?  I would be perfect for this.’  He immediately thought.  “Please tell me you have his number.”  He said, closing his eyes tightly, afraid to begin hoping he might actually be getting a break.

“Of course.  I wouldn’t bother to call otherwise.  Good luck, Boss.”  Cynthia said, then, after giving Brian the number, they said their goodbyes and hung up.  Brian didn’t move for a moment, he simply held the phone in his hand limply and stared blankly ahead.

After a few minutes passed, he took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair.  “Ok Kinney.”  He spoke aloud to himself in the empty loft.  “Don’t fuck this up.”  He finished.  This was his shot, his only shot, to make Kinnetik a real thing.  He couldn’t blow it.

Upon doing a bit of research on the client, a British man by the name of Edward Kingston, Brian was entirely confident that he could get this client with a flick of his wrist.  In fact, he was fairly certain the Kingston would be begging him to do their advertising.  Kingston owned an electronics company that primarily made video games and consoles.  Their primary audience was 20-somethings still living in the parent’s house.  20-somethings loved video games; they also loved sex.

There was only one problem…

Kingston lived in England.  And he had no money – and only one thing left to sell.

He looked around the loft with a deep frown.  He had wanted to live out the rest of his life here.  It was him.  Of course…it had never really felt like a home.  Well, there had been times when it felt like home.  ‘Especially when Justin was here.’  He thought to himself before he could stop his train of thought.

‘Dammit Kinney!  Justin’s gone because you’re a worthless sack of shit.’  He reminded himself.  Justin was far better off without him.  Even with money he wasn’t any good for Justin.  The kid just wanted too much.  With a sure nod he reminded himself that they were too different and wanted two different lifestyles.  He needed to focus on other things, like Edward Kingston.

To get into Kingston’s pocket, he’d have to empty his.