“How come you never order your own?”  Justin muttered, with a hint of affection, as Brian stole a large piece of orange chicken from his plate.

“The calories don’t count when I take them from you.”  Brian smirked over at him and Justin simply rolled his eyes.  He used his fork to fend off another attack of Brian’s chopsticks and snagged a piece of chicken for himself.

A movie was playing in the background but neither of them were paying much attention to it as they munched on their dinner and chatted.  Brian was doing most of the talking, telling Justin about the differences in being a partner compared to being an ad exec; mostly how people who were once his peers were now his subordinates – particularly the ones who weren’t handling the transition well.

They were reclining on the futon with the boxes of takeout scattered around them. When they finished eating Justin laid back flat, his head turned towards the TV, though he still wasn’t paying attention to the old movie Brian had put in.

They were silent for some time, but it was comfortable and pleasant.  When Brian suddenly stood and started cleaning up, however, he broke it.  “The guys wanted to meet up at Woody’s tonight.”  He informed and Justin perked up a little.

“Oh?”  He asked with a smile.  “You should go.”  He said, knowing that Brian wouldn’t if he didn’t say he was alright with it.  Despite the progress he’d made Brian was still watching him like a hawk.  It was clear he was still upset about the state he found things in the last time he left Justin alone.  However, Justin knew Woody’s would be too much for him, so he would have to get Brian to leave without him somehow.

“You could come with me.  It’s a Wednesday.  It’s not going to be that busy.”  Brian pointed out, dumping empty boxes into the trash and putting the left overs in the fridge.  “I think they’d all like to see you.  Mikey’s been asking after you.”  He added and Justin laid on his back as he looked up at the ceiling.  He knew Brian was right – Woody’s would probably be close to empty, but nights at Woody’s usually led to Babylon and he didn’t want to go there yet.  Even on a weeknight there would be too many people and too much noise.

“No, I’ll be fine here.  You go though.  I want you to go.”  He said with an honest smile. 

Brian looked at him for a long time before leaning up against the island.  “Alex said you needed to start pushing yourself more.  I think tonight would be a good opportunity.” 

Though Alex had said that, he also suspected that Brian’s motives had more to do with keeping an eye on him than getting him out of his comfort zone.  “Nothing’s going to happen to me if you go out for a night.”  He stated plainly and evenly, but knew he hit home when Brian’s eyes winced just a bit.  “It’s just a few hours.  I’ll be fine.  I’m fine when you go to work.”  He added, as those were the only times Brian would leave him.

“It’s not the same thing.”  Brian immediately insisted, but when Justin raised an eyebrow to point out he was being unreasonable Brian sighed.  “I left and you ended up in the hospital.  It’s not ridiculous for me to want to be cautious.”  He muttered defensively.

“But now Stockwell’s dead and Reichert is arrested.  No one’s going to come after me.  You deserve a night out.  It’s been weeks since you have.  Go out, find a hot guy and fuck him.  Have some fun.”  He motioned to the door to emphasize his point and Brian looked at him as if to see if he was really going to be alright.

“I could use a good trick…”  Brian smirked a little so Justin chuckled and grabbed his arm.  He tugged him towards the bedroom.

“Then go.  Don’t worry about me.”  Justin assured once again and Brian nodded, clearly having been wanting to go out.  Justin wasn’t going to let him sacrifice anymore for him.  Soon he’d be able to go out as well so it wasn’t an issue, but until then Brian was going to have to get over his fear of leaving him alone.

“If I didn’t know better I’d say you were trying to get rid of me.”  Brian chuckled as he began stripping out of his clothes.

“Never.”  Justin smiled back at him and watched Brian’s toned torso ripple as he reached up to grab a shirt off the hanger.  He felt a little warmth start to spread in his belly. He frowned and stepped back because he didn’t know how to handle the familiar, but long unfelt, feeling of arousal. 

Brian was dressed and out of the loft in a matter of five minutes, leaving Justin to his own devices for the rest of the night.  He tried to ignore that brief arousal that he felt because he wasn’t sure he was ready to have sex again.  He didn’t know what was stopping him – he loved Brian more than anything and wanted to have sex with him.  However, whenever he thought about being touched that way again something inside of him panicked.

The issue was, he was still turned on.  He was alone in the loft but he still nervously looked around before reaching down into his pants and grabbing his erection.  One mere touch and it flared to life, growing hard and stiff.  He put some lube on his hand and then started to jerk himself off.  He went slowly, as if getting reacquainted with himself.  He leaned forward and pressed his free hand on the wall to support himself.

His hips began to buck as he got more and more into it.  It had been months since he even thought about being touched this way, and now that he was doing it again it felt as if a dam was breaking inside of him.  As he moved his hand faster and faster, his breathing began to pick up as well.  It came in hard puffs and was only interrupted by grunts and moans of pleasure.

Then, far too soon, he came, shooting out into his hand.  He let out one last moan and then fell on his knees as his head cleared.  He remained sitting there, with his hand still on his limp penis, for a few minutes and a small smile started forming on his lips.  It had felt good.

That fear that he felt about sex was beginning to ebb away now that he remembered how good it felt.  He knew that with Brian being the one touching him it would feel exponentially better – and he wanted that touch again.

He slowly stood back up and cleaned himself off in the bathroom.  He couldn’t get the smile off of his face as the endorphins from his climax remained pumping through his body.  However, once he changed into a clean pair of pants, there was a knock at the door which disrupted his happy thoughts.

He paused and approached it carefully.  Despite how far he’d come there was still a long way to go for him to feel completely comfortable around others coming into his safe place again.  He nervously cleared his throat.  “Who is it?”  He called through the metal door.

“Carl.”  Was the almost immediate answer.

Relief flooded him and he unlocked the door without hesitation.  He slid it open for the detective and greeted him with a smile.  “Hey.”  He said, sure his relief was obvious.  He stepped aside to let Carl in and the officer patted him on the shoulder as he walked in.

“How are you doing, Son?”  He asked kindly and Justin shrugged as he slid the door shut.  He locked it up and walked with Carl towards the couch.

“Fine.  Good, actually.”  He said, thinking about what he’d just done.

“Good.  I’m glad I caught you in a good mood.”  Carl said and pulled out something from the inside of his jacket.  Justin eyed it.

“What’s going on?”  He asked carefully.

“Is Brian here?  I think maybe he should be.”  Carl said and Justin felt a bad feeling begin to settle in his stomach.

“No…he went out tonight.  What is that?”  He asked again, coming to stop near the middle of the room.

“Reichert ’s interrogation.  I shouldn’t have taken it, but I thought you’d want to see for yourself.”  Carl said, holding the DVD case out to him.  Justin was initially shocked by his words, so it took him a moment to reach out and take it.

“W…”  Justin started and then shook his head as his eyes stared down at the DVD.  “What’s going to happen to him?”  He asked, slowly looking up at the detective again.

Carl smiled a little at the question, which put Justin at ease.  “The judge wanted to make an example out of him.   They rushed the trial and gave him the worst public defender in the system.  He was eaten alive.  He has fifty years, no parole.” 

Justin felt a breath of relief escape him at the news and he smiled.  He hadn’t been expecting it after what had happened with Hobbs.  “That’s great!”  He exclaimed and a brief laugh escaped him. 

Carl smiled some more and nodded in agreement.  “Yeah…He’ll be dead before he ever has a hope of getting out.  So he won’t be bothering you again.”  He assured and Justin couldn’t stop himself from hugging the man.

“Thank you.”  He murmured and Carl embraced him in return.

“Thank the DA.  She’s the one who pushed for the harshest sentence.”  Carl said bashfully, but Justin shook his head.

“No…You saved me.  You’ve done so much for me.”  He insisted and then stepped back to smile up at the man who was becoming more and more like a father to him.

Carl put his hands in his pockets and didn’t seem to know how to handle the praise.  Instead, he cleared his throat and motioned to the DVD.  “I can stay if you want to watch it.”  He offered, and Justin looked back down at it.

“No, it’s okay.  I’ll wait for Brian.”  He said and Carl nodded.

“Alright.  If you’re sure.” Carl didn’t seem to want to leave him alone and Justin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It seemed like his own paranoia was rubbing off on everyone else.

“I’m sure.” He repeated and set the DVD down on the coffee table. “Besides, you probably have more important things to do than babysit me.” Justin spoke with a smile.

“Well…I thought I might stop by Miss Novotny’s home.” He admitted and Justin raised his eyebrows.

“Oh? Then go. Don’t keep her waiting.” He insisted and even began pushing Carl towards the door.

Carl laughed a bit at Justin’s persistence and then nodded. “Alright. Goodbye, Justin.”

“Bye!” He waved the detective away as he walked down the stairs. Justin was pleased those two seemed so taken with each other. He closed up the door again and then turned and looked at the DVD sitting on the coffee table. He went to the couch and sat on it, staring down at the case, waiting for Brian.

Brian didn’t get back until nearly two in the morning. It was far earlier than he would have come back a year ago, even on a work night, and Justin was surprised when he heard the loft door rumble open. Brian had more than deserved a long night out, so he assumed the man would take advantage of the opportunity.

He’d fallen asleep on the futon but sat up when he heard him. “Hey, you’re back.” He said through a yawn and Brian smiled in a greeting. Justin sat on his knees and lifted his face up when Brian bent to kiss him. He smelled like sex and booze, but it was oddly comforting. It smelled…normal.

“You should have come, Sunshine. The guys were disappointed.” Brian said as he walked to the bedroom, stripping out of his sweaty clothes. Justin stood, picking up the articles as he followed him.

“You went to Babylon, though.” He pointed out knowingly and Brian nodded.

“Yeah, but we wouldn’t have if you had come.” Now naked, Brian walked into the bathroom to start the shower.

‘But then you wouldn’t have had as much fun.’ Justin thought, but he didn’t speak it. He sensed that they were just going to circle around the argument, so he didn’t say anything back at all. He dumped the clothes into the hamper and followed him, his eyes avoiding Brian’s body and instead looking only at his face. He still needed to get all of his conflicted sexual feelings straightened out before he even thought about Brian.  He wanted Brian’s touch, that he knew.  But a small bit of that fear was still in the back of his head and he didn’t want anything to hold him back when they came together again.

“Did you have fun?” He asked curiously, speaking a little louder to be heard over the spray of the shower.

“Don’t I always?” Brian answered, a hint of arrogance in his voice.  It only made Justin smile.

“Carl stopped by tonight.” He said, leaning against the sink.  “He brought by a recording of Reichert ’s interrogation.  He said he thought I’d like to see it.”  He explained as he turned and looked in the mirror.  Brian’s figure was now blurred by the steam building up and he looked at it with admiring eyes.

“Did you watch it?” Brian asked, his voice echoing from inside the shower stall.

“No. I was waiting for you.”  He turned back around when the shower suddenly turned off and Brian emerged.  The man grabbed a towel and began drying himself off, then he wrapped it around his waist – much to Justin’s relief.

“Well then let’s watch it.” Brian said simply and put on some clothes.

They walked together out of the bedroom and Justin picked up the DVD from the coffee table. Before he could do anything, however, Brian pulled it from his hands and walked to the TV to put it in.  Justin merely sat on the couch, waiting.

The DVD started as soon as Brian hit play and he saw Reichert sitting alone at a table in an interrogation room. It looked like a TV show; the room was darkened except for a bright light shining on Reichert ’s face, and it didn’t look particularly clean.  There was another man in there, but his back was to the camera.  Justin knew he wouldn’t know who it was anyways so he didn’t care much if he turned around or not.  Brian walked back to the couch and sat next to him, close enough that they were touching all along their sides.

“Is your name Kenneth William Reichert ?” The officer asked.

Kenneth gave him a flat look and rolled his eyes. “Really Jeff?”  He asked, apparently familiar with the officer interrogating him.

“Are you Kenneth William Reichert ?” Jeff asked again, his voice hardening just a little and the man sighed.

“Yeah.” He grunted out.

“And you admit, of your own free will, to the murder of James Stockwell?” Jeff asked, and Justin was a little surprised that he stated it so bluntly.

“No.” Kenneth said so calmly it was almost as if someone asked him if he wanted sugar in his coffee, rather than if he’d murdered someone.

“We have two eye witnesses that saw you do it.” Jeff responded, but Kenneth shook his head.

“I did it, yes. But I wasn’t thinking clearly.  I was temporarily insane.”  He claimed and Justin exclaimed immediately.

“What the fuck?! Temporarily insane my ass!”  He howled at the screen so loudly that Brian put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

“Just watch.” Brian insisted, not having turned away from the screen.

Justin furrowed his brow and glared at the man. “But-.”

“Shut up.” Brian spoke harshly.  Justin stilled a little and realized that Brian really needed to hear what Kenneth said, so he went silent and watched.  During his outburst Jeff must have said something, because Kenneth was speaking again.

“…struck in the head. I was dazed, confused, and worried that Taylor would take my life.”

“You had kidnapped him, and were planning on killing him. Did you expect him to just let you?”  Jeff clearly didn’t have any sympathy for Kenneth.

“When I caught up to them, I saw Jim was going to let him go and I just couldn’t think straight. It was as if I was watching myself do things.  I felt so angry – I was furious.  I remember the things I did, but it didn’t feel like me doing them.” 

Justin watched with his frown still pronounced on his face. Kenneth knew full well what he was doing.  He was trying to cover his tracks, that’s all.

“I shot Jim because I thought that he was betraying us.”

Jeff leaned forward a little at that. “‘Betraying us’?”  He asked and Kenneth nodded.

“We were going to be together.” He answered, his voice growing soft and wistful.  “He was going to leave his wife and we would be together. He was supposed to be mine.”

Justin shook a little as he said that, because he recalled the moment when Kenneth had howled it at him at the warehouse. He clenched his hands together and momentarily looked away from the TV, needing to get the man’s face out of his head.

“You mean that you and Jim had a sexual relationship?” Jeff sounded legitimately shocked at that and Kenneth nodded.

“Yes. We were in love.”  Kenneth claimed and Justin wondered if maybe the man wasn’t a little insane after all.

He recalled what Jim had said to him right before he died. He loved his family, and he didn’t sound as if he had any plans on leaving them for Kenneth.  He enjoyed gay sex – Justin couldn’t blame him for that because who wouldn't? – but he didn’t sound like he was in love with Kenneth. Granted, he’d only exchanged a few words with the man.

“And you killed him because you thought he was going to turn you both in for the murder of Jason Kemp?” Jeff asked evenly.

“He was going to ruin everything. But I didn’t want to kill him.  It just happened.  It wasn’t even his fault – it was that kid, Taylor.”  Kenneth’s voice turned hard and visceral, but Justin didn’t miss that he didn’t answer the question.  Brian seemed more focused on what he said, and his hand on his shoulder tightened. Justin felt himself being pulled closer to the man.  He didn’t resist and leaned against Brian’s side.

“Because he witnessed your murder of Jason.” Jeff urged in order to keep Kenneth talking.

“It was his fault that everything happened. I wanted him to pay, not Jim.”  Kenneth was scowling now and Jeff flipped open the folder and pulled out a piece of paper. He seemed a little disgruntled that Kenneth wouldn’t admit to the murder, but he clearly wasn’t giving up.

“According to Justin’s statement, you licked him. Why would you do that if you hated him so much?”  He asked and Justin shivered, still able to feel the sliminess of the man’s tongue against his skin.

“I wanted him to be afraid. I wanted him to suffer for what he did.”  Kenneth said causing Justin to turn and hide his face in Brian’s side, no longer able to look at the man.  He didn’t ask for Brian to turn it off, however, because he wanted to hear everything Kenneth said.

“So you believe Justin should be responsible for Jim’s death?” Jeff asked and Kenneth nodded incessantly.

“Yes. He’s the guilty one!”  Kenneth exclaimed almost excitedly, as if Jeff had validated what he’d said.

“I see.” Jeff seemed bothered by Kenneth’s shouting, but he reached into the folder and continued without skipping a beat. “Let’s talk about Jason Kemp.” He suggested again, and leaned back in his chair comfortably.

“What about him?” Kenneth asked with a sneer marring his features.

“So the name does mean something to you.” Jeff sounded pleased that he’d gotten that much out of him.

“He was a hustler. Not much of anything, really.” Kenneth muttered and Justin sighed, feeling bad for the kid. Too few people cared about him.

“A hustler that you murdered, correct?” Jeff asked and Kenneth remained silent. “That is what Justin said, right here in his statement.” He pointed back to it and even slid it over for Kenneth to read. “He called the police the night it happened. He saw you through the window of his loft.”

“And where’s the body of this hustler I supposedly killed?” Kenneth asked, his previous mask of nonchalance turning into arrogance. Justin couldn’t see it, but he could hear it in his voice.

“That’s what I’d like for you to tell me.” Jeff responded. “You kidnapped Justin for a reason, didn’t you? Why else would you react so violently to the e-mail he sent unless you were trying to cover your tracks? The Parsons barely survived your assault.” Jeff pointed out and Justin felt a small wave of guilt go through him. He’d practically forgotten about the couple. They had been beaten because of the e-mail he sent and he hadn’t given them a second thought.

Kenneth remained silent for a few seconds, but his smirk never left his face.  “There’s no crime if there’s no body.  For all you know, he packed up and left town.  How can you say I murdered him when you don’t even know if he’s dead?”  Kenneth asked and Justin suddenly glared, raising his gaze back up to the TV.  He wished that somehow Kenneth could feel how despicable he thought he was.

“You take me for an idiot, Ken?”  Jeff asked and then sighed.  “Unfortunately, you’re right.  We can’t charge you for Jason’s murder.  But, we can charge you with Jim’s.  As well as the assault on the Parsons.  And the kidnapping and attempted murder of Justin Taylor.  And the attempted murder of Carl Horvath.  Anything to say about any of that?”  It was Jeff’s turn to smirk.

Kenneth scowled and looked away.  “Well, thank you for your cooperation.”  Jeff said and picked up the file.  He stood and left the room, and the DVD turned off.

“That’s it?” Justin asked and Brian nodded, patting his back.  “It wasn’t very long.”

“Did he get off?” Brian asked and Justin shook his head.

“Carl said that he got the fifty years. Apparently the judge didn’t buy his insanity claim.”  Justin reported, lifting his head from Brian’s chest.

“Good.” Brian murmured, his voice almost distant.  Justin looked up at his face to see he was still staring at the screen.  Concerned, he used his left hand to turn Brian back to look at him.  They looked into each other’s eyes for a long time before Brian bent and moved as if he was going to kiss him, but he hesitated before he pressed their lips together.  Justin opened his eyes once he realized he wasn’t being kissed and saw the hesitation in Brian’s expression.

His heart skipped a beat because Brian was looking at him the same way he had the night of prom, right when he kissed him outside the Jeep. It was as if he was asking him for permission.  Justin tilted his head up and pressed his lips against Brian’s, giving him his answer.

It wasn’t deep, or passionate, but it was perfect.

Brian didn’t push for more, but Justin didn’t think he would. He never did.  When they broke apart for air Justin just grabbed Brian’s hand and walked with him into the bedroom.  They laid there together, and Brian reached out to him, instead of the other way around.  Justin didn’t know why the interrogation seemed to get to Brian so much, but it clearly bothered him.

“He won’t be able to hurt me.” Justin whispered, unused to being the one to do the comforting.  However, he found he liked the feeling; maybe that was why Brian was so good at it.

Brian let out a puff of a laugh and nodded. “Damn right he won’t.”  They fell into silence then and Justin was almost asleep when Brian spoke again.  “I want you to come next time.  It’s not the same without you.”

“I’ll try…” Justin whispered before sleep claimed him.