“Justin I don’t see anything. Maybe it was a nightmare.”  Brian suggested as he peered through the binoculars, seeing nothing but a dark apartment. He set them down and moved away from the window, but Justin swiftly picked them up and looked outside desperately. “Enough. Come on. We’re going to bed. My back is killing me.” Brian said, trying to downplay what had just happened, despite the fact that it was really worrying him.

“But I saw…I saw them hurting someone!” Justin insisted, resisting Brian’s tug on his arm to get him away from the window. He relinquished his hold on the binoculars but only because Brian was stronger and pulled them away.

“It was nothing. There’s nothing there.” Brian told him and put both hands on Justin’s shoulders to move him forward.

“But…” Justin trailed off, clearly beginning to second-guess what it was he had seen. “They weren’t…?” He asked slowly and looked up at Brian who shook his head.

“No. Now lay down.” He said and pulled the blankets on the bed back to let Justin slide in. He covered him up and then sat on the edge of the bed, finding he wasn’t very tired anymore. He reached out and ran his fingers through Justin’s hair to try and help ease him back to sleep as his adrenaline wore off. “Night, Sunshine.” He said softly and received a very drowsy ‘goodnight’ in return.

Brian was thankful that Justin’s high-wire emotions tended to leave him drained because he didn’t want to have to pretend that everything was okay. As soon as Justin fell asleep he walked to the phone and called up Alex, not caring about the hour. It had to ring for a while before the man actually answered, but eventually he picked up.

“Who is this?”

“It’s me, Brian.” He said, keeping his voice low as he looked into the bedroom from the living room; the last thing he wanted was to wake Justin back up. “It’s about Justin-.”

“Couldn’t it wait until the morning?” Alex sounded annoyed, but Brian could hear him shift around and knew he was sitting up, so he wasn’t about to hang up on him.

“No. He just woke me up screaming about how someone across the street just killed a person. But it wasn’t real, it was a nightmare or something. He’s never had nightmares that weren’t about Hobbs before and I’m worried that this is…a bad sign.” He settled for and the moment of silence that greeted him didn’t make him feel any better.

“What was going on across the street?” Alex asked after a while.

“Nothing. The lights were off. I don’t think they could have gotten up and turned them off by the time Justin got me up. But it’s possible.” He added at the last part mostly for his own benefit, as he was trying to find a way to explain Justin’s behavior. He glanced to the window with a frown, still seeing nothing going on across the street.

“I see…” Alex said distantly and Brian heard some rummaging on the other end of the line. He could only imagine what the man was doing.

“Has Justin commented on these people before at all? Anything specific?” He asked and Brian could now tell he was fully awake.

“Earlier Justin had said that he didn’t want them there. He didn’t like them. He was trying not to let me notice, but I could tell he was really torn up about it.”  Brian reported, easily recalling the strange conversation he had with the boy earlier that day.

“Did they just move in? It’s likely that he viewed them as an invasion to his space. Even though he’s never been over to the other apartment building he probably views it as part of his safe area. It’s an extension of his life in your loft. Being cooped up inside all day has to be stressful to him.” Alex said and Brian could hear writing on a piece of paper. He wondered if Alex saved the napkin from the bar and was starting an official file for him.

“He’s the one who keeps himself locked up!” Brian began pacing as he let his worry about Justin’s mental health come out.  He ran a hand through his hair and gave it a tug out of frustration.  Despite his efforts, things seemed to be going from to worse.

“How long did it take for him to calm down?” Alex asked after he’d finished.

“Actually not long, given some of the meltdowns he’s had before. I was able to distract him and get him back to sleep.”  Brian said and Alex ‘hmmmed’ on the other line and scribbled some more things down.

“This is the first time he’s had a nightmare about something other than the attack? You’re sure?” The doctor asked and Brian nodded, and then shrugged even though it couldn’t be seen.

“Yeah, I mean I think so. If it’s been about something else he hasn’t told me.” He answered honestly and moved over to the couch and sat down on it heavily.  His shoulder slumped and his head hung down by his knees.

“I wish I could just talk to him…Have you asked him about meeting with me?” Alex asked with hope in his voice.

“Seriously, Doc? I just told you how he reacted to people across the street. How do you think he’ll handle actually talking to you?” Brian snorted and shook his head. “And you have a PhD?” He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“Brian there’s only so much I can do without speaking to him myself. Work on him, tell him how it’ll make you happy if he tried to just talk to me on the phone.” Alex suggested and Brian paused.

“Why would that help?” He asked slowly.

“Don’t you see? You’re Justin’s whole world right now. I’m sure there’s a part of Justin that is worried that if he makes you mad in some way, he’ll lose you. He’ll want to please you any way he is able to.”

Brian didn’t like the sound of that.

“I’m not going to kick him out if he pisses me off! Seriously, if you’d met him before you’d realize all this shit isn’t really par from the course. He was an annoying brat.” Brian declared with more than a hint of fondness. Sure, it was an exaggeration, but he still felt it deserved saying. He’d agreed to care for Justin and that was what he was going to do.

“Justin isn’t himself right now. As much as he may tell you, there are a million other thoughts going on in his head. I promise you that he is thinking and feeling so much more than he is letting on. I don’t even need to talk to him to know that. He’s the victim of a brutal attack that left him mentally and physically injured.  The attack was also very personal, aimed directly at him as a person. That’s why I want to talk to him, so I can find out what is going on under the surface. Honestly Brian…” Alex hesitated and Brian was certain that he didn’t want the man to finish his sentence. “It’s very common for people who have been through what Justin has to have thoughts of suicide or other forms of self-harm.”

The line was silent for a few moments as Brian didn’t know how to react to that. Justin hadn’t seemed suicidal. He didn’t seem to want to hurt himself at all actually. In fact, with how afraid he was of other people hurting him, Brian didn’t think he’d dare hurt himself. “Justin isn’t like that.” Was all he was able to manage after the silence droned on too long.

“I told you; he isn’t himself. But remember, I haven’t spoken to him. These aren’t absolutes, nothing in this situation is. I’m just basing this off of my experience.”

“So what am I supposed to do? Ignore his delusions? Pretend that everything is fine so he doesn’t decide he’s better off dead – or I’m better off with him dead?” Brian stood and began pacing again because he couldn’t handle this. He was so unequipped.

“I wouldn’t classify what happened as a delusion. It was likely just a nightmare and he thought it was real because all of his other nightmares had been about his attacker. I’m sure in the morning he’ll remember that it didn’t happen. It was a rough day for him, that’s all. Two men move in across the street and he doesn’t feel safe. It was a recipe for disaster, nothing more.”  Alex’s words managed to put Brian at ease a bit – at least Justin wasn’t losing his mind. He didn’t answer right away, so Alex continued.  “I mean it when I tell you to convince him to talk to me. I can help so much more if I know what he’s thinking and feeling.” He repeated and Brian nodded.

“On the phone. Only on the phone.” He agreed and swore Alex was nodding by the way he answered.

“Yes, yes, of course. Call me, even if the answer is no. Keep me updated so I have current information to work with.”

“I will…” Brian said slowly. “Thanks.” He added suddenly and managed a small smile. “I appreciate you doing this.” He finished sincerely and it seemed to stun Alex.

“Brian Kinney, expressing gratitude to someone? Well now I’ve seen everything.” Alex teased and then let out a yawn. “I‘m doing it pro bono too, so you’re welcome. Goodnight, Brian.”

“Goodnight, Alex.”

Brian hung up the phone and let his arm hang weakly by his side as he didn’t know what to do. He was relieved that Alex didn’t seem as alarmed at Justin’s nightmare as he had been but it sounded like it was possible Justin was worse off then he thought. He slowly walked to the desk and set the phone back on it. He then glanced back to the bedroom and frowned.

‘‘Thoughts of suicide’…What’s going on in that head of yours, Sunshine?’

Jason limped as he walked home from his John’s apartment. The place had been nice – it looked new and fresh, like they’d just moved in. He had always wanted an apartment of his own before, but he had a roof and four walls – there were worse places to live.  He tried to focus on simply experiencing a beautiful place like that, rather than the beating he'd received from his clients.  The walk was long. The John lived in the more affluent part of Pittsburgh and his little hovel was in the industrial district. He couldn’t even take a bus as they didn’t run that late. So he walked over an hour to the abandoned steel factory.

The others hadn’t been too reluctant to let him share their territory and he’d been able to save up over two thousand dollars already. If he kept snatching richer clients he may even be able to get a real place soon. He smiled just thinking about it.

He then tripped on the curb and grimaced as his fresh wounds screamed in pain. He reached to his side and held his tender ribs. Of course, having fancier clients meant satisfying their whims – even when those whims tended to be violent and painful.

When he finally got home he couldn’t wait to just lie down, sleep all night long and then well into the morning. He typically liked to get an early spot – it was surprising how many John’s picked him up for a mid-morning quickie – but with the bonus he’d just made he could afford to skip the morning grabs.  He’d let the others have their pick instead.

“Hey. I didn’t think you were coming back tonight.”  A familiar voice called out, echoing slightly in the large, open walls of the factory.

“Oh, hey Hunter.  Yeah. They didn’t want me to spend the night so I walked back.”  Jason explained as he turned to the other hustler and smiled weakly, trying to hide the injuries he’d received. But he should have known Hunter would see past his façade, the kid was observant.

“Dude, are you okay?” He asked, moving forward and grabbing Jason’s shirt to lift it up.  “Fuck!  They beat you?!  You got to watch out for freaks like that man.”  Jason followed as Hunter began walking him over to his bed.  They didn’t have any medicine or bandages, so he knew Hunter wasn’t going to patch him up, but the extra help with walking went a long way in relieving his pain.

“It’s alright. They gave me a huge fucking bonus.  Three hundred bucks.”  Jason bragged, reaching into his pocket to pull out the wad of cash he’d been given.

“Are you crazy? Put that away!”  Hunter ordered in a whisper.  He grabbed Jason’s hand and lowered it.  “They may let you stay here but that doesn’t mean they won’t hesitate to rob you in a second.”  Hunter warned and glanced around to double check that the other hustlers were asleep and couldn't see the cash.

“Sorry.” Jason said, slipping it back into his pocket.  “You’re not going to, are you?”  He asked, suddenly nervous.

“Pft, please…” Hunter muttered and rolled his eyes.  Jason could swear he saw the guy flip his fucking hair too.  “I can make my own money.  I’ve been doing this so long I know all the tricks.”  He bragged and Jason just smiled a bit.

He wished he could be as confident as Hunter, but he’d only been hustling for a few weeks. Though, he guessed he must have been doing something right because he was making more than he was spending.

“Just lay down. You’ll feel like shit in the morning.”  Hunter warned and then stepped away once Jason was lying on the dingy mattress on the ground.  There wasn’t a blanket, but it was still summer and the night was warm.  Jason didn’t want to buy one anyways, he’d save the money for when he had his own apartment and could get a real nice one that he didn’t have to put on the ground.  “And stay away from them next time.”

“Fuck no.” Jason shook his head.  “I don’t care how much they beat me.  I’ll take cash like this every night.”  He could hear Hunter grow still, but he didn’t say anything and eventually started walking away again.  Jason assumed he disapproved, but he didn’t care.  However much Hunter may have done for him, he knew that if push came to shove Hunter would look after himself first – Jason would do the same.

They were hustlers, they weren’t boy scouts.