Several Days Later.

Justin covered his yawn with the back of his good hand as he shuffled from the bedroom to the kitchen. Brian wasn’t far behind. 

It had been a rough night.

He was pretty sure he set a personal record for how many nightmares he had. He recalled waking up six times, and he knew that there must have been times he didn’t remember.  As usual, Brian was always there hovering above him and shaking him awake to free him from the prison that his nightmares put him in.  He glanced towards Brian and smiled despite his exhaustion.  Brian had held him and comforted him all night long.

He yawned again and Brian yawned back. The man pulled out one of the high chairs and plopped down on it like he was giving up.  Justin paused, having planned to do the same, but wanted to give Brian something in thanks for what he went through last night.  So, he walked around the counter and started making coffee.

It was a long process. Not only was he struggling to think due to lack of sleep, but he had to do it all one handed.  Still, he managed.  The coffee began pouring into the pot and he could hear a sigh of contentment when the smell must have reached Brian.  He turned back and smiled a little more.

The smell must have been enough to get Brian moving because just seconds later he stood and walked to the fridge. He pulled out some eggs and vegetables to cut up.  Justin went to stop him.  “I can cook.”  He insisted, wanting Brian to be able to relax.

“You’re making coffee.” Was all he was offered in reply.  Thinking about it, Justin realized he wouldn’t have been able to chop up any of the vegetables anyways, so it was probably better that Brian did it.

When the coffee finished he got out Brian’s favorite mug, having to reach up into the cupboard on his toes in order to grab it. He set it on the counter and poured the coffee in.  He then took the sugar and poured in four large scoops and handed the mug to Brian who took it with an appreciative grunt. 

They didn’t speak to each other again after that for over an hour, and yet Justin was still content. They munched in silence and somehow found themselves over on the couch sharing the binoculars. 

Despite the good start to the morning, he knew that Brian was about to say something that he thought would upset him. He got this look on his face, often during relaxing times like this, which always preceded Brian suggesting something he didn’t want to do.  He wondered what it was this time.

“So, I have this friend.” Brian started slowly and Justin stilled and lowered the binoculars to let him know he had his attention.  “His name is Alex Wilder.  He’s a doctor.  A Psychiatrist.  I’ve been talking to him.  About you.”

Justin suddenly frowned heavily. He didn’t like the idea that Brian was talking about him to random people.  Before he could voice his protest, however, Brian continued.

“I’ve been trying to go about this the right way, so you get what you need. And he’s been helping me.  He’s worried about you.  And…”  Brian paused and sighed heavily.  “He wants to talk to you.  Just on the phone.”  Brian added swiftly before Justin could say no.

When it was clear Brian wasn’t going to add more he leaned back against the couch a little and drew his legs out from under him. He bit his bottom lip lightly as he thought about what Brian was saying.  He tried to ignore the fact that he was the topic of discussion when he wasn’t around because when he really thought about it, it was rather sweet that Brian was worried enough about him to go to a professional. 

“Do you want me to?” He asked, hating how small is voice sounded.

There was a look that crossed Brian’s face then, but he didn’t know what it was or why his question seemed to spark so much emotion in the man. But Brian nodded and cleared his throat.

“Yes. I think it will be good for you.”  He said simply and Justin turned away from him and at the binoculars on the couch between them.

He couldn’t help but think this was a bad sign. Despite how touching it was that Brian was willing to do this, it was also a sign that the man was beginning to lose patience.  Justin could see the Institute looming nearer and nearer; unless he did as Brian asked.

He didn’t want to talk to a shrink – he remembered how well the last one went and scowled. But he did want to make Brian happy.  “Okay.”  He agreed quietly, because he couldn’t bring himself to sound more confident, he just didn’t have it in him.

“Really? You will?!”  Brian asked excitedly.  He even moved closer to him. Justin felt his heart flutter because he hadn’t seen Brian that excited since before.

“If you think it’s a good idea…” He hedged, even though he had no intention of going back on his agreement. He just wasn’t thrilled about the concept of talking to a stranger, even a friend of Brian’s.

“I do. It’ll help.” Brian sounded confident, so Justin felt a fraction more at ease. He smiled and nodded, then suddenly stood and went over to the small container with his hand exercises. “Now, we slept through your morning session. We should get started.” He said and Justin withheld a cringe.

He didn’t want to do his PT – he didn’t see the point. His hand wasn’t getting any better and those balls weren’t going to help at all. But, Brian seemed to be in a good mood and he didn’t want to ruin it. He reached out with his good hand, took the container and began taking out the first set. Brian sat next to him, so they were touching all along their sides, and helped.

When he was finished his hand was sore and he wanted to just go back to sleep but Brian went and got the phone. He thought he would have been given more time but apparently not. The man dialed and then Justin watched as he began talking to this Alex guy.

When they were done greeting each other Brian glanced to Justin and gave him a supportive smile, then he held it out.

Justin reached out with his good hand and nervously took the phone. He looked at it for a long time and wondered if he just stared at it long enough Alex would just hang up. He brought the phone up and awkwardly cleared his throat. “H-Hello?” He asked, hoping that no one would answer. He wasn’t that lucky.

“Hi Justin. I’m glad you decided to talk with me.”

He tensed and shut his eyes tightly. Brian’s arm was suddenly around his shoulder and he leaned against him. He nodded a bit and opened his mouth to try to speak. “Y-y-yeah. Umm…Br-Brian sa-id it would b-be good-d.” He managed to get out choppily.  It was a stranger.  He was talking to a complete stranger.

“I think he’s right. I really want to help you, Justin.”

His voice was nice – he liked it. It put him at ease a bit.

“How?” He asked simply, not trusting his voice to get out more than one syllable without stuttering.

“Well however I can. I’ve worked with a lot of people who have been through the same thing you have. I helped them understand their fears and overcome them. I want you to have the same opportunity. I want you to be able to feel in control of your life again.”

“You kn-know othe-er people l-like m-mme?” Justin wondered if any of the people Alex had helped were as bad as him. He knew he was a wreck, he just didn’t know how to fix it…And he didn’t want to. What was the point? He’d never be his old self again.

“Yes. I’ve counseled people who have been attacked, even raped; people who have barely made it out alive, just like you. Do you think you would like to work with me, Justin? Only over the phone, until you’re ready?”

Justin hesitated because he hadn’t expected to be asked whether or not it was okay. Brian had wanted it, and he’d agreed, so he’d assumed Alex was just going to jump right in and start shrinking him. He liked being asked. It made him feel safe.

He liked Alex.

“Yeah. I think that’d b-be okay.” He answered and could physically feel Brian’s relief next to him.

“Good Justin. Thank you. How about for today you just tell me a little about yourself? If you’d like you can ask anything about me too.”

“Anything?” Justin asked curiously. He heard a small chuckle on the other end of the line.

“Yes, anything. There has to be complete trust between us, Justin. I won’t lie to you, ever. I would like the same from you. If you don’t want to tell me something, say so. Just don’t ever lie to me. Can you do that?”

“I guess.” He agreed with a weak shrug. He suddenly straightened, feeling more at ease the longer he talked. Brian’s arm stayed wrapped around him, but he didn’t prevent him from straightening up.

“Great. So, how old are you Justin?”

Justin blinked a little. If all the questions were like this it was going to be easy. “Eighteen.” He answered with a steady voice for the first time since the conversation started. “What about you?”

“I’m thirty-six.”

“You’re older than Brian.” Justin wasn’t sure why he said it, but it felt like it was worth saying. Alex laughed.

“Yes, which knowing Brian he’s thankful for.”

Alex’s laugh made Justin crack a smile and he glanced up to Brian who could only hear half of their conversation. “Yeah. You should have seen him when he turned thirty.” Brian scowled a bit, but Justin could tell he wasn’t really bothered by the reminder.

“I can imagine. Brian means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”

Justin nodded and looked down at his lap. “Yeah…He’s…He’s…I-.” Justin couldn’t finish because Brian was everything to him. Brian was his world. Brian was the only person he ever saw. Brian was…everything.

“You love him a lot, don’t you?”

He found himself nodding. “Yes.” He said with a smile. He loved Brian with all that he had. Despite everything that had happened, that had never changed. “Do you? I mean, do you love anyone?” Justin could only wonder what Brian was thinking listening to him, but he didn’t still didn’t leave.

“I love a lot of people; my friends and my family. But I don’t love anyone the way you love Brian. I haven’t found that person yet. But I will.”

“Oh. I’m sure you will.” Justin meant it too. If Alex could get him to like him in the matter of a few minutes, he was sure it wouldn’t be hard to find someone to love him.

“Well thank you, Justin. That was very kind. Now, tell me; before the attack, what did you like to do in your spare time?”

Justin smiled nostalgically. “I liked to draw. I wanted to be an artist. But I can’t do that anymore.” He finished as his eyes drew to the ground and his shoulders slumped down. The hardest part of the whole thing was not being able to draw anymore. He had always expressed himself so much better in pictures. Now there were so many things blocked up in his head that he can’t get out.

“I bet you would like to do that again. Art is wonderful therapy too. I’m sure you’re working hard on your PT in order to get that back.”

Justin could tell by his voice that he knew more than he was saying. Brian had already admitted to talking to him, and no doubt he had said that he wasn’t willingly doing his therapy. “No one would want to see what I want to draw.” He answered instead and once again Brian tensed.

“I doubt that. Besides, you never know until you try, right? But we can move on.”

And they did. Justin talked to him for an hour about nothing having to really do about his attack. In fact, he noticed that as soon as something got close to touching the attack, Alex would change the subject and ask him a new question.

He told Alex about his family and what his life was like growing up. He talked about his father and meeting Brian. He talked about his likes and dislikes and spent a great deal of time talking about what he saw outside the window. He told Alex all about Harold Hill and Ward and June Cleaver. He never asked about the middle apartment and the two men, but Justin didn’t know if that was because he didn’t know, or because he didn’t want to ask and disrupt their back and forth. In any case, Justin was glad because even though he’d been dreaming, it had still bothered him to think he saw someone get murdered like that.

After some time, Alex stopped asking the questions and his voice changed. “Hey, Justin, I want to ask you to do something for me. Is that okay?”

Feeling relaxed, Justin found himself nodding. He wanted to make Alex happy so he’d probably agree to most anything. “Yeah.”

“Whenever you have a nightmare, I want you to write it down. Then, the next time we talk, we can discuss some of them. Only the ones you’re comfortable with sharing. Think you can do that?”

Justin smiled a bit; he’d been afraid that Alex would ask to meet him in person.  “Yeah. I can do that.”

“Good, thank you, Justin. Can you hand the phone to Brian now?” Justin nodded and obeyed, surprised at how good he felt. He had assumed the Alex would want to just jump right in and try to fix him in one go, but that wasn’t the case. In fact, he wouldn’t mind talking to him again.

He didn’t pay much attention to what Brian was saying to Alex, but he heard his name muffled on the other end of the line and Brian would look at him from time to time. He wasn’t surprised. He knew they were talking about him.

When Brian was done he put the phone back on the stand and then walked over to him. Justin found himself immediately in an embrace so he smiled and hugged Brian back.

Maybe that Institute wasn’t so close after all.

Jason shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he waited nervously on the side walk. A few of the other hustlers were nearby, Hunter included, and he wondered if he should go and get a different spot. They had said they didn’t mind him there, but he wanted a chance to get some clients of his own. Already two others had been picked up and he’d been passed over. Still…his John hadn’t told him to come back yet, so he needed to find some other clients.

He was still debating whether or not to stay or go when the familiar black SUV pulled up. A few of the others started moving towards it, but Jason didn’t give them a chance. He jogged forward to hop inside without even waiting to be asked, but a hand on his arm stopped him. He turned to Hunter who looked concerned. “Isn’t that the car of those two dudes who beat you up last week?” He asked and Jason nodded, but shrugged.

“Yeah but I’m fine now. I can handle another go.” He assured and tried to move again, motioning to them that he was coming so they didn’t take someone else.

“You should stay away from them. You don’t know what they’re capable of.” Hunter sounded a bit more insistent, but Jason just waved him off.

“I’ll be fine, man. Thanks though. See ya later.” He said with an assured smirk before jumping into the van. It sped away without a moment’s notice and he only had enough time to glance out the window and see Hunter’s worried expression before they drove away.

The drive to the apartment took some time as they were across town from it, but Jason spent it mentally preparing for the night ahead. When the finally did arrive, he smiled as he walked back into the fancy apartment. It was only his second time there, but he was already familiar with it. The two men had fucked him over nearly every surface last week and he got a good look at everything. And even though he knew he was probably going to be in for a rough night, he was prepared with the knowledge that he’d have a huge wad of cash afterwards.

Neither of the men spoke to him other than to tell him where to go and get ready. He didn’t care – he didn’t need to talk to them to get the job done. He’d bend over, get fucked and hit, and go home just like last time. And one day soon he’d get his own place with his own things and a real job. It would be a giant ‘Fuck You’ to his family - thanks to these two men.

He stripped down and got on the bed as they ordered and soon he was joined by them. They had ropes this time and he consented to be tied up. He was a bit surprised when one went around his neck, but said nothing. He shifted slightly, trying to loosen the ties just a bit, but found they were only tightened once more. Deciding it wasn’t worth losing out on the giant bonus coming his way, he remained still even as he felt his fingers and toes going numb.

By the time he realized something was wrong it was too late.

His vision was going dark and he was struggling to breath. He tried to tell them that the rope around his neck was too tight, but they were already fucking him and he could barely get out any words through his constricted throat. He tried to struggle, but the bonds were too tight.

And then, he slipped away…