Chapter 23 - Recovery.

It was more than an hour later before Brian, Daphne and Jennifer got to finally see Justin. They had moved the patient to a private room - at Brian’s insistence - and he was now awake and mostly alert, although the pain meds were making him a bit groggy. Jennifer was the first through the door when the nurse came to get them to tell them they would be allowed in to see Justin. Brian, who was trailing the two women, knew by the sound of Jennifer’s very vocal gasp that it wasn’t going to be a pretty sight. And, even though he’d seen the actual assault and a bloody Justin lying on the cement waiting for the ambulance, he wasn’t prepared for what he saw either.

Justin’s left wrist was in a white plaster cast and immobilized by a black mesh sling. His usually bright blond hair was a mess - matted and dirty and even shaved in a few small patches where the doctors had put in stitches. But, by far, the worst of all was Justin’s beautiful face - it was covered in bruises and cuts and so badly swollen that the boy was almost unrecognizable. His right eye was swollen completely shut and there was a particularly nasty cut slashing diagonally from the left corner of his mouth down towards his jaw that was at least an inch long, which had been stitched then covered with some type of liquid bandage application.  

“Oh my god. Justin, baby, look at you!” Jennifer howled and rushed to the bedside to comfort her son, but once there she was unsure of what to do as she was afraid to cause him any more pain by jostling him.

Brian came around to the other side of the bed and stood looking down tenderly at the mess that had been made of his boy’s beautiful face.  

“Fuck, Sunshine,” Brian said softly, caressing Justin’s cheek lightly with one finger.

“Probably not for a while, sorry.” Justin tried to joke, but the sight of the attempted smile on that battered face just made Brian even more sad.  

“Shit, Jus,” Daphne said, she was the calmest of the three and a good anchor keeping them all from going off the deep end. “That’s a pretty bad cut - facial cuts are always tricky and tend to scar. What did the doctor say? I hope they had a plastic surgeon doing the sutures.”

“You’re gonna make a great doctor someday, Daph,” Justin replied. “Yeah, they did have a plastic surgeon come and do all the stitches on my face. He said that they should all heal completely and there shouldn’t be any scarring. He used like a million stitches with this really fine thread stuff. Anyway, I know I look like shit. Can we move on from there?”

“Okay, how do you feel, then,” Daphne asked, a tiny smile sneaking onto her face.

“I feel like shit too. Next question,” Justin replied in the same semi-humorous vein.

“Have you had a chance to try the hospital food yet,”  Daphne was smiling outright by this point, happy to see that at least her friend still had his sense of humor intact.

“Nope. I haven’t had that pleasure, but I’m soooo looking forward to it.” Justin bandied back.

“Now I know you’re going to be okay - you still have your appetite,” Daphne laughed aloud and gingerly seated herself on the end of Justin’s bed, satisfied with her friend’s immediate condition.

The casual exchange reassured both Jennifer and Brian as well, and they both calmed down and found seats near the bed too. Jennifer claimed Justin’s good hand in a careful grip, reassuring herself through touch that her son was going to be okay. Brian, who was sitting on the opposite side of the bed, contented himself with laying his hand on Justin’s arm, caressing the small patch of bare skin between the sleeve of the hospital gown and the top of the sling.  

“What time is it?” Justin asked, looking up at Brian’s worried expression.  

“About 11:00 or so,” Brian responded, looking at his watch briefly and then quirking one eyebrow up in amusement. “Why, Sunshine? Got a hot date you need to get to?”

“Nope. My date’s already here,” Justin said, but continued in a much less amused voice. “I’m sorry about you having to leave the party. Did I ruin everything?”

“Fuck no. As far as I know the party’s still raging.” Brian reassured the boy. “I left Cynthia and Ted in charge of the rest of the schmoozing. As long as the booze holds out the guests will be happy. I don’t think most of the guests even knew anything was going on since we were in back of the building. And, don’t worry about me - I was sick of the party already.”

“Well, okay. Still, I’m sorry about all this.” Justin continued.

“Stop it, Sunshine.” Brian ordered. “You shouldn’t be apologizing because some fucking monster attacked you. It’s not your fault that any of this happened.”

“Yeah, it kinda is. If I had listened to you and reported the fucker earlier . . ." Justin started to berate himself, but Brian wouldn’t hear any of it.

“Stop. Justin, stop. If anyone’s at fault, it’s me,” Brian said, his voice raspy and low. “I should have made you tell me what was going on earlier. I even had Muller investigated, did you know? I knew he had a criminal record but I had no idea it was for anything like this. I didn’t actually hear the full story from my PI until tonight. But, I should have known the fucker was dangerous right from the start. I’m sorry I didn’t do anything earlier.”

“Both of you need to stop it,” Daphne demanded loudly from the end of the bed. “This isn’t either of your faults. Justin, you SHOULD have told us about the problems you were having with Brandon earlier and we might have been able to do something about it. But, even then, there’s no guarantee we would have been able to stop him from doing this. HE’S the only person you should be blaming for all this. And, I don’t want to hear either of you going on with the self-pity, self-blame thing any more. Do you both hear me!”

“She’s kind of bossy, isn’t she,” Brian said, addressing Justin.

“Actually, she’s mellowed a lot. You should have seen her in kindergarten.” Justin commented.  

“Fine. If you’re going to start making fun of me, then it just proves you’re going to be okay. So, I’m going home and get some rest.” Daphne said in mock indignation, angling in beside Jennifer to give Justin a gentle goodbye kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jus. Stay strong, okay.”

“Yeah. Bye, Daph.”

“Hold up Daphne and I’ll give you a ride,” Jennifer halted her. “I’m sorry to leave, Justin, but I really should go get Molly - I left her with the neighbors and they’ll be waiting on me. If you’re sure you’ll be okay, then I’ll go too and come back in the morning when you’ve had some rest. Okay?”

“Sure, Mom. Um. Thanks for coming to see me.” Justin said, a bit awkwardly, as Jennifer bent to kiss him goodnight. “Tell Molly I said hi.”

“Good night, honey,” Jennifer said, then she and Daphne left.

“Ahhh. Alone at last,” Brian said as the door closed behind the two women, getting up to move around the bed to the other side where he could hold Justin’s hand.  

The two men didn’t have to say anything. They just sat in comfortable silence. Brian’s mere presence was enough to calm Justin, who was just starting to drift off to sleep. Brian noted that even Justin’s hand was covered in small cuts and abrasions and he tenderly kissed at each one, wishing that there was something more he could do to fix this impossible situation.  

Before Justin was completely asleep, however, there was a knock at the door and a middle aged, gray haired and balding, overweight man quickly slipped into the room.  

“Excuse me. I’m Detective Carl Horvath. Pittsburgh PD. I’m looking for Justin Taylor.”

“You found him,” Justin rasped from his bed, squirming to sit up straighter.

“Mr. Taylor, I need to ask you some questions about the incident earlier tonight involving Mr. Brandon Muller.” Horvath began, seating himself in the chair on the left side of the bed.

“Yeah, I figured,” Justin said, reluctance clearly evident in his tone. “Brian, I think, maybe I’d rather do this alone.”

“Sorry, Sunshine.” Brian said, his voice confident and unwavering. “I’m not leaving. We’re in this together.”

“But . . .” Justin started again.

“But, nothing. I’m not leaving you.” Brian insisted.  

Justin smiled at the tenacious man and then turned his attention to the police detective who proceeded with his questioning for the next forty minutes or so. Justin and Brian told the entire story, leaving out nothing except for the nature of their original deal. Brian heard for the first time the details of what happened that night at Babylon the first time that Brandon attacked Justin. And Justin heard the full story of what Brian had found out about Brandon from the PI who he’d hired to investigate the man after Brian’s first run in with him at the Carnegie Museum benefit. Justin also heard the uncomfortable news that Chris Hobbs had somehow been involved in Brandon’s plans, apparently intended to be a distraction that would keep Brian busy while Brandon was dealing with Justin.  

“I appreciate the information that you got about Muller’s past history,” Horvath said, putting the notebook he’d been using into an inner pocket of his jacket. “I’ll get the records from Philly transferred first thing tomorrow. I’m not too surprised by it though. It’s pretty typical for guys like Muller to have a history of violent crimes and/or public-order offenses. It’s just too bad that the others he assaulted didn't press charges - if they had we might have gotten this creep off the streets earlier. I’m assuming that you’ll be pressing charges, Mr. Taylor?”

“Well, um . . . I don’t know . . ." Justin faltered.  

“Yes, you will, Justin,” Brian insisted. “You can’t just let this fucker get away with this. If you do, he’ll just hurt someone else later.“   

“It’s just that, well, I don’t know if I can deal with everyone knowing about this. If I press charges and it goes to trial, I’ll have to tell all this in court and . . ." Justin was obviously worried and embarrassed about having to reveal all these very personal and embarrassing details publicly.

“It’ll be okay, Sunshine. I’ll be there with you and no one who knows you is going to think less of you because of this.” Brian insisted again, then added in a lighter tone, “I won’t let them.”

Justin sighed but then took a deep breath and nodded. “You’re right. Yes, Detective. I will press charges,” Justin finally agreed.  

“I’m glad to hear it, Mr. Taylor. Well, thank you both for your time. I’ll be back in touch with you soon,” Horvath excused himself and finally left.  

After the detective left, Brian got up to turn off the overhead lights.

“You should get some sleep, Sunshine,” Brian said quietly, kissing the poor abused hand once again.

“You’re not leaving, are you,” Justin sat up abruptly. “I mean, I . . . I would really like it if you would stay a little longer, please.”

“I wasn’t planning on going anywhere,” Brian whispered, reaching over to smooth Justin’s hair out of his face. “Shhh. You need to get some rest, okay.”

“Brian? I need you,” Justin said quietly, his voice so small and so unsure now that the lights were out. “Please don’t . . ."

“I’m right here, Sunshine, “ Brian reassured him.

All the bravery the boy had been showing so far, keeping up appearances for his mother and Daphne, and answering the police detective’s questions, started to unravel now in the darkness. Brian could hear Justin’s breathing becoming ragged. He felt the slender shoulders shuddering. He felt the boy’s hand clutching at his in fear and pain. Brian felt his own chest constrict as if his heart was being squeezed.  

Brian had always been an active person. Ever since he left his parents’ house, he had taken whatever steps were necessary to make sure he would be a success, that he would be comfortable and safe and that he would never have to experience the pain or the fear he’d been forced to endure while he was growing up. Brian was a ‘fixer’ - both in his personal life and in his profession, he fixed whatever was wrong and made things work. He took care of his friends and his family quietly, without expectation of or need for gratitude. His ability to fix things was a huge part of his self-image. But now, here he was sitting in the dark with someone he cared about deeply and he couldn’t think of any way to fix what was wrong. He hadn’t been able to stop what had happened - he’d failed to protect this precious treasure - and now he didn’t know what to do to stop the pain and fear that Justin was enduring. He couldn’t fix it and the realization of that fact was almost physically painful to him.  

“Justin? Can I . . . how can I help?” Brian asked into the darkness.

“I need you, Brian,” Justin sobbed again. “I’m so tired, but I can’t sleep without you next to me. I wish we were at home, in your bed, and you were holding me.”

“I’m here, Sunshine,” Brian said, scooting around the bed and climbing up behind the younger man, spooning him and gingerly reaching an arm around to hold Justin close. “I’m here. You can rest now. I’m not going anywhere, Sunshine.”

The familiar presence and the hushed voice calmed the young man. Brian could feel Justin’s breathing slow and his pulse decreasing. After a long interval, the trembling eventually faded and Brian thought that Justin had finally fallen to sleep, but then he heard the softest sound from the sweet young blond in his arms.  

“I love you, Brian,” Justin whispered into the safety of the darkened room. “I love you.”

(((((((((((((((((((((B/J)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Somehow the two men managed to sleep through the night, in spite of the routine visits of the nursing staff to Justin’s room - probably because the sight of the two beautiful men sleeping together was enough to touch even the hardest hearted night nurse. What they weren’t able to sleep through was the arrival of clan Novotny - who bundled into Justin’s room promptly at 9:00 am, as soon as official visiting hours started.  

“Brian! Justin, baby. God, I’m so sorry about what happened! We had no idea what was going on last night. Ted just called us this morning and told us and we rushed down here." Debbie’s vociferous greeting caused both men to jump and Brian almost fell out of the bed due to his precarious perch. “Oh, Sunshine, look at you. That fucking monster should be castrated. That’s what I say.”

“Brian, why didn’t you call me last night?” Michael had immediately accosted his best friend. “Nobody at the party had any idea about all this. I would have come down and sat with you or helped somehow. Anyway, Ted suggested I bring you and Justin some changes of clothes, so here. You can get cleaned up a little at least. How are you doing, Justin?"

The best part of a visit by the Novotnys was that you really didn’t have to say anything. They did all the talking, easily held up both ends of the conversation, and all you had to do, most of the time, was sit and nod and smile. So, while Debbie and Michael bustled around the room, ranting, commenting, and chatting, Justin and Brian were able to pull themselves together and wake up without really having to participate.  

Eventually Brian’s brain began to function sufficiently enough to allow him to extricate himself from the blond on the bed, get up to his feet, stretch, and reach for the overnight bag that Michael had brought along. He left a quick kiss on Justin’s temple then excused himself to the bathroom to change and freshen up. When he finally emerged, looking much better in fresh clothing than he had in his blood stained and rumpled tux, he hastily pulled Michael after him with the excuse that they were off to find coffee and breakfast, leaving only one Novotny to mother Justin in the interim.  

When Brian got back to the room about a half hour later, with pastries and coffee in hand for his blond, he was alarmed to find the room filled to overflowing with visitors. Of course, Debbie was still there. Jennifer and Daphne had arrived just after he had left and Molly had tagged along as well to see her brother. Also present were Lindsey and Gus as well as Ted and Emmett. Justin was putting up a brave front for all his well-wishers but Brian could see the strain that was evident just below the surface. Brian instantly took the initiative and began to clear out the well wishers, leaving only Jenn, Molly, Lindsey and Gus - at Justin’s request - and after politely thanking everyone else he sent them on their individual ways.

Justin, Molly, and Gus were happily ensconced together on the hospital bed; the children much less concerned with the bruising and cuts on Justin’s face, and much more interested in the Spongebob Squarepants cartoon currently playing on the television. Brian, struck by sudden inspiration, sent Lindsey down to the hospital gift shop while the ‘kids’ were watching their cartoon and directed her to purchase as many different colored markers as she could find. When the cartoon ended, Justin, Molly and Gus proceeded to make a modern art masterpiece out of Justin’s cast.  

This was the first real opportunity that Jennifer had had to watch Brian and Justin interacting. She was still uncertain about Justin’s new ‘lifestyle’, but watching the two men together, Jenn was reassured a little about her son’s relationship with the significantly older man who had become so important in his life. She still wasn’t completely comfortable with Brian, but she was impressed at how caring and concerned the man seemed to act towards her son. Maybe this wasn’t as bad a situation as she had previously suspected.  

When the art department was finished decorating the cast, it was clearly time for Justin to rest, so Brian herded the rest of the visitors out of the room. Then Brian crawled back into bed with his sweet blond bed warmer and they both fell sound asleep in just minutes.

(((((((((((((((B/J))))))))))))))

Jennifer arrived again bright and early the next morning and surprised Brian and Justin who were still asleep, Brian again in the bed with her son. As much as she was trying to get used to the idea of her son being together with this man, this was too much for her to take in at once. Instead of going into the room, she returned to the hall, pulling out her phone as she went. When Jenn returned a half hour later, the boys were awake and Brian had moved to the chair next to the bed.  

“Good morning, honey,” Jennifer said, kissing Justin on his cheek. “How are you doing this morning?”

“Better, I guess”, Justin gave his mother a lopsided smile, the left side of his mouth still too swollen and sore to participate. “At least I can finally see out of my right eye, now that the swelling is down. We’re waiting for the doctor to come check me out and tell me if I can get out of here today.”

“That’s great, sweetheart,” Jenn seated herself on the edge of the bed facing Justin, ready to make another try to get her son back. “Justin, I wanted to talk to you about when you get discharged. I’d like for you to come home with me when you get out of here. At least until you’re all healed.”  

“What about Dad?” Justin asked, cautiously.

“I’ve talked to him and explained a little about what happened. He said he’s willing to let you come back home and that we can all try to work things out,” Jennifer tried earnestly to convince Justin. “We love you, Justin. We just want you to be safe. And, considering what happened, I’m not sure that the way you’ve been living is safe or smart.”  

“What do you mean, ‘the way I’ve been living’? Mom, I thought we were over all this. You and Dad will just have to accept that I’m gay and that I will continue to be gay no matter how uncomfortable you are with the idea.” Justin wasn’t angry at his mother anymore. He was more exhausted than anything by having to have the same discussion again. “My being gay has nothing to do with what happened to me, Mom. I just . . . I don’t want to fight with you anymore, Mom. It’s been great having you be here the past couple of days and . . . I’m tired of fighting you. But I’m not coming home, Mom. I can’t. I’m not the same person who left there four months ago and I don’t want to go back to being that person either.”

Justin looked up at Brian who was still holding his hand. Brian smiled at him and squeezed his hand, not saying anything but allowing his pride in the way the young man was handling the situation to show clearly on his countenance. Then Justin looked back to his mother and tried to reassure her with a smile as well. And Jennifer finally had to acknowledge that it was true - Justin wasn’t that scared, hurt, little boy who had left her home several months earlier, he was a beautiful, strong, young man and she was going to have to let him grow up.

(((((((((((((((((B/J)))))))))))))))

By the time Brian got Justin back to the house it was already late afternoon. He helped the younger man upstairs and was about to get him comfortable in the bed, when he noticed that Justin wasn’t behind him any more. When he turned around, Brian found Justin standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, staring at himself sadly in the mirror.  

“You heard the doctor, Sunshine,” Brian said, coming to stand behind the boy. “It’s going to heal and you shouldn't even have any noticeable scars.”

“It’s just so . . . bad. My face looks like a pumpkin carved by a five year old at Halloween.” Justin complained, still unable to look away from his reflection. “I’m not even sure what you call some of these colors the bruises are turning - Grorange? Grurple? And I haven’t even looked at the rest of me yet.”

“Can I?” Brian asked, indicating that he would help get Justin’s shirt off, but hesitant to do it until the boy was ready to face that.

“Fine. Might as well see the worst.” Justin started to undo the straps of the sling so that he could get the shirt off.  “I really need a shower anyway, but we’ll have to find a plastic bag or something for my cast.”

Brian carefully helped Justin take the sling off and then pulled the loose fitting cotton sweater over the youth’s head. He bit his lip hard to stop himself from gasping when he finally saw the extent of the bruises and abrasions on Justin’s back and chest. Justin moaned when he saw himself in the mirror. He had to shut his eyes and take several deep breaths to calm himself before he could take it all in. Then Justin reached for the drawstring on the sweatpants he was wearing and Brian helped him get those off as well, revealing still more black and purple splotches covering the boy’s hips, thighs and genitals.  

If the bruises were as painful to Justin as they were for him to look at, Brian was amazed that the boy could even stand. The hardest thing to look at was the series of small round bruises on Justin’s hips - fingerprints from where the monster had dug his hands into the tender flesh. Brian reached down and softly brushed at the marks, as if trying to wipe them away, but they were still there when his fingers had passed by. Brian could do nothing except lean down and tenderly kiss Justin’s shoulder - one of the few unbruised spots on his body.  

“Come on, Sunshine.” Brian finally spoke. “Let’s get you into a hot shower. It’ll feel good on your sore muscles and loosen you up.”

Brian led the way, getting Justin’s cast covered by a plastic bag and then guiding him into the shower. The older man then proceeded to tenderly shampoo the shiny blond tresses and carefully soap the boy’s body, trying to not only clean off the smell and dirt of the hospital but also the emotional and physical taint left behind by the attack itself. Brian’s touches were light, soft and mild and incredibly comforting to the abused young man. And, as Justin finally let himself relax, enjoying the feeling of safety Brian’s hands gave him, he also felt the beginnings of arousal.  

While Brian hadn’t intended his ministrations to be anything other than caring and chaste, he was encouraged watching Justin’s rising signs of desire. He had been worried that after the kind of vicious attack Justin had experienced, he would never want to be intimate again, or at least not for a very long while. Seeing Justin the way he was now simply heightened Brian’s own desire to care for the boy, to protect him and, yes, to touch him and hold him and make love to him. Brian wanted that desperately - he could admit that to himself now, after having feared that he would never see Justin alive again - yes, he could admit that he needed to make love to the beautiful young man and show him somehow that he was cared for and that not everyone would hurt him.

So, when all the soap had been rinsed away, Brian took Justin out of the shower, towelled him off gently and led him back to the bed.  

Lying the young man down on his side so that his injured arm wouldn’t be jostled, Brian crawled into the bed behind Justin and tenderly, quietly, made love to him, their bodies touching gently, skin on skin, their fingers laced together. Brian’s lips were carefully exploring and touching and kissing as they slowly moved together. It was a quiet, slow, languid experience. Brian was so excruciatingly delicate, trying to avoid causing even the slightest additional pain to the injured man. Each touch seemed to last forever, each motion was easy and free, never making Justin feel for even one moment that he wasn’t safe. Until, in the end, both men felt that exquisite release, and with it the emotional release, as well, that helped to cleanse their souls.