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JUSTIN 

 

I waited till Brian fell asleep. At least this time I tired him out enough, he isn't hugging anything but the pillow. Inching my way slowly off the bed, I put one foot down on the floor. Then I carefully slide sideways out of the bed.  Brian starts mumbling, so I sit still. When I hear his breathing even out, I stand and carefully walk to the bedroom door. I put WD40 on the hinge this morning, so hopefully the door won't make any noise. I opened it just enough to sneak out. Yay me, escape the bedroom accomplished. I stand there just to make sure he isn’t going to catch me. After a minute, I start walking down the stairs. I count to the fifth step and use the banister to keep from putting my weight on the step, damn thing is creaky. Finally I’m at the bottom of the stairs. I head straight for the kitchen. I wait again, listening for any sounds. So far so good. Once I get to the kitchen, I look back out in the hall, still alone. I slip into the pantry and grab my key to open heaven's gate. I hate Daphne, “I could hear the can opener”, I have to use a manual one. I get it open and grab the fork I hid in behind the the spicy mustard and dig into nirvana. I was on my second bite, when the devil sneaks in and catches me. Looking down at YumYum, I debate what I should do. I could open another can of tuna to keep the little shit from howling and waking up the whole house like she did last time. I could eat real fast and run back upstairs, I like that idea. She is still on my bad list for telling. I walk out of the pantry and the little shit follows me. I lead her to her bowl and tease her by putting a flake in it. She licks it up and looks at me. I want to tell her ‘too bad’, if she hadn't gotten me in trouble the last time I'd have shared. 

 

YumYum, being the determined kitty she is, climbed up on the counter, stared me down, and waited. She can wait till hell freezes over, the furry little tattle tale. I fork up some more and pretend I'm going to let her have it. I hold the can behind me and play keep away with the fork. I smirk as I put it in my mouth, and make yum sounds. She starts to open her mouth to complain, damn it. I was just about to give her some when the fork and the can are snatched out of my hands. I did so well, no thanks to satan kitty. I turn and face the fucker who stole my tuna.

 

“Justin, do we keep having to play catch the pregnant idiot eating the tuna every other night?” Brian asks me.

 

“Brian, do you have to knock me up every eight years? Now give it back.” I tell him, reaching for the can.

 

“Look, the doctor talked to you about this, the mercury you're consuming isn’t good for the baby.” Brian thinks that I care about fucking mercury. I mean, if people were more considerate of the oceans, I could eat the fucking tuna. It’s not that ‘Mother Hen’ cares about the environment. 

 

“I’ve only eaten three cans this week. You need to stop acting like I committed a sin, it has good stuff for the baby in it.” I tell him. Brian looks at me skeptically . “Okay so maybe it was five, but I can’t be like Blake, Mr Healthy.” I spit out.

 

“Where did this even come from? I thought I threw it all out.” Brian questions me, holding the can in front of me.

 

“I think the maid bought it.” I tell him.

 

“Justin, only you could invent a maid we don’t have to buy your kryptonite.” Brian tells me.

 

“Sorry Mikey, but it’s called a craving.” I sneer at him. Brian, the evil asshole he is, dumps my can into Satan’s bowl. I swear the cat smiled at me. I know I whimpered. 

 

“You could have let me at least eat one more bite.” I wanted to cry as I watch my tormentor eat all the tuna. Brian doesn’t love me.

 

“Are we done? Can we go back to bed?” Brian asks me.

 

“Since you gave the traitor my food, you can sleep with her.” I turn and walk out in a huff.

 

Brian is so used to this from me, that he walks with me to bed. I fall in and start sniffling. He lays next to me rubbing my back. 

 

“Justin, the doctor just doesn’t want you to harm the baby. I’ll take you out for a burger tomorrow after the checkup. You can even have a lemon bar.” Brian can’t deal with my tears. I smirk and pretend to feel better. I just need maximum drama, to punish him.

 

“I... just... wanted… to give... sniffle… the baby what it wanted.” I make sure to sniffle a couple more times, it gets him every time.

 

“Justin, we get to find out what we’re having tomorrow. Think about that.” Brian tells me. I nod and smile through my watery eyes. Brian grabs me into his arms and kisses my forehead. I swear, evil kitty is being fed bread and water for the next few days.

 

BRIAN

 

Justin is getting better at sneaking around. I almost didn’t catch him last night. The only reason I did was because I was trying to cuddle up to him and couldn’t find him. God, I've turned into a lesbian in the last three months. At least I have it better than Ted. Poor Ted, he doesn’t seem to understand that comparing Blake to Justin isn’t the smartest thing to do.

 

Blake is actually two months further along than Justin. It stands to reason he was going to show sooner. Justin came into Kinnetik with Blake and Emmett, Ted being the dense man he is, asked Justin how he still looked normal when Blake was already getting big. Blake turned to Ted and told him he just kissed sex good-bye and walked out. It took Ted two days before he was even allowed back home. 

 

The boys are coming with us to this appointment, Justin thought it would help them get used to the idea that there is another baby on the way. Jackson and Gus were more interested in the cat than they seem to be about the baby.

 

Justin was still pouting about the tuna this morning. I don’t get it, Blake wants fruits, but Justin wants tuna. Why couldn't he want pickles? Daphne warned me that Justin would pull this, she told me that no matter how many times she threw the cans away, new ones found their way into the house. I even started grocery shopping with Justin to make sure we didn’t end up with a case of tuna in the house. He slipped one by the first time. He told me it was cat food, I wasn’t paying attention. I thought me being at the store was enough to stop him. He even bought tuna steaks, telling me it was regular steaks. I laughed when he put it on the counter at home, he needed to rearrange space in the refrigerator. Well, YumYum tore into it very happily. Poor Justin, he accepted defeat but not very gracefully. Justin told Yum Yum that the shelter had room for her. I took my baby and told her Justin didn’t mean it. Justin told me that he was going to introduce YumYum to Prada. The man is just wrong, Prada is designer.

 

The boys ran into the doctor’s office, Jackson wanted to see if he could borrow the charts that show what happens to your organs if you consume too much cholesterol. He wanted to show the principal that the food they were serving at school was harming his arteries. The fact that this is normal to me now tells you Jackson does this all the time.

 

We all decided that we wanted to know if it was a boy or girl. Ted and Blake wanted to be surprised. I should say that Ted agreed, because Blake was the ruler of his castle. Blake wanted to be surprised, so they are waiting. 

 

We walk into the room and wait for the tech to measure everything. She let Gus and Jackson sit near the screen. Gus whispers to her and she looks at the screen, she tells him probably. Gus smiles at me.

 

“I think I guessed Papa.” Gus tells me.

 

“I can’t tell you until the doctor comes but I think Gus is right.” She tells us.

 

We wait for Dr. Metz to come in. He looks at the monitor and checks the measurements. He asks if we are sure we want to know. The boys tell him yes.

 

“Well Gus, you're correct, it’s a girl.” He tells us.

 

“I didn’t see a penis.” My son proudly tells everyone. Justin started laughing.

 

I take the boys out so the doctor can finish the exam. Jackson and Gus wanted to see the exam.

 

“I think some things in life are just going to remain a mystery.” I tell them. We wait outside, because the boys would be all over the waiting room. 

 

I’m going to have a daughter. I’m both happy and terrified. I watch the boys and wonder what you do with a girl. We have boys, we are boys, I get boys. Suddenly I hear someone talking to Gus and Jackson, I look over and want to grab my sons and get the hell out of here. It’s my mother and Claire.

 

“You boys should be with your father, not running all over the place.” The bitch that birthed me tells them.

 

“You should mind your own damn business Mother.” I tell her.

 

“Brian, what are you doing here?” Claire the cunt asks.

 

“Watching my children. You know, the ones you were lecturing, Mother.” I tell her. Shit, I didn’t mean to tell her that.

 

“Brian, did you finally accept the Lord and give up a life of sin?” Mother asks.

 

“Why yes Mother, I decided that living in a house where God fearing people think it’s okay to kick the shit out of their kids was much better than being gay. In fact, I told the boys that drinking till you're too out of it to care that your child has a broken arm because his father had a bad day was what good Christians do.” I sneer at her.

 

“Brian, watch your language.” Mother tells me. I see Justin standing behind my mother and Claire. I don’t want him near these two.

 

“Well Mother, as much as I enjoy these talks, I think I’ll take my children and get them away from your well meaning ass.” I tell her. I hand the boys a ten each.

 

“Brian, Mother and I deserve respect. I can’t believe you would have children and never tell us.” Claire has to be involved.

 

“Dad, I don’t like these people.” Gus tells Justin.

 

“Young man, you don’t interrupt adults when they are talking.” Mother tells Gus. I see red, she is not allowed to talk to my sons.

 

“I’m sorry, but you don’t talk to our children unless Brian or I tell you that you can. Neither of you need to be giving advice on how to raise children. Brian, take the kids to the car please.” Justin tells me. I want to tell him to let me deal with them. Justin shakes his head. I walk to the car and put the boys inside, but stay outside the car in case Justin needs me.

 

“Now, I want to tell you both one thing and then I don’t want you to ever contact Brian or my family again. Using God to excuse your inadequacies as a mother doesn’t excuse you from blame. It just makes you worse, like people who murder in the name of God. At the end of the day, your job was to protect your kids. Now I’m going to protect my kids from two women who should never have been allowed to give birth, by making sure you understand me. If you come near us again, I will make it my mission in life to go to your church and let the good Christians you go to church with know that you let your husband beat your child while you hid in a bottle.” Justin tells my mother. Mother and Claire turn their backs on Justin and walk off. 

 

Justin smiles and tells me I owe him a burger. It’s weird, normally it takes me a day or two to get over a visit from my family. Looking at Justin, they just don’t seem to matter anymore. I owe this amazing man much more than a burger.

 

 

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