Chapter 14 - On a Plain

The rest of Monday afternoon was spent zooming along the interstate through southern Wyoming. Brian was thankful that the speed limit through this stretch was 85 mph, since there was absolutely nothing to look at outside except piles of rocks and the faster they got through this bareness the better. They’d taken a short break at a rest stop just outside of Salt Lake City where Brian had stretched his legs and Justin had made them both sandwiches. Thank the RV gods that the kitchen had come fully stocked, because Brian was already getting nervous about whether or not they’d make it all the way back to the Pitts before his money ran out. Then it was back in the RV and back on the long, long, endlessly long road.

Justin had long since finished with his toenails and spent most of the rest of the afternoon either drawing in the ubiquitous sketchbook or reading a pulp novel he’d unearthed in one the of RVs many cupboards. Brian enjoyed the quiet for a while, but eventually even he - loner that he was - felt like the silence was too heavy. This unprecedented situation - this enforced long term intimacy with another guy - was wreaking havoc on Brian’s usual stoicism. He found himself actually WANTING to talk. Of course, he had absolutely no experience with initiating genial conversation unless it was something to do with his work or the juvenile stuff he usually found himself discussing with Michael and his other friends. So it took him a while to find a suitable topic of conversation.

Looking over at Justin once again, Brian noted that the kid was already more than two-thirds done with the novel that he’d just picked up an hour or so before. “You sure do read fast, Sunshine,” he commented. “So, if you never left your house, how did you learn to read and other stuff?”

“My mother taught me,” Justin answered, laying aside his book and smiling openly over at Brian. “She taught me lots of stuff - reading, math, geography, and other stuff,” Justin shrugged. “She liked to play word games too, so we did that a lot. She loved Scrabble. We played Scrabble just about every day . . . Of course, you HAD to let her win. ALWAYS. Or else she got . . . weird . . .” Justin’s gaze drifted off out the window as he was remembering something that Brian thought he probably didn’t want to know about. “We didn’t have a lot of books, though, and it got pretty boring reading the same books over and over and over. When I was little my mother used to go out of the house more often and I remember that sometimes she would go to the library and bring home picture books and even chapter books for me to read. That was nice. But she didn’t go out much after I got to be about ten. We did have an old set of encyclopedias from the 1950’s though. I read those a lot. And I got to watch the Devil’s Box sometimes, when my mother was feeling indulgent.”

“And here I thought I had it bad,” Brian muttered, thinking about what this kid had experienced in his nineteen years of being held captive in some tiny house. Then Brian added, aloud, “I used to practically live in the library. My folks weren’t much for books, so we didn’t have many either. But I would hit the library just about daily when I was a kid. It was about the only safe, warm place I could go when I needed to get away from my bitch of a mother or my bastard of a dad.”

From there the conversation flowed much more freely. All through the rest of the afternoon’s drive, Brian and Justin talked. They shared stories about their lives. Brian even found himself telling this kid who was practically a stranger some of the horrors of his own youth - things he’d never told anyone, not even Michael or Debbie. Eventually they moved on to talking about Brian’s hopes of starting his own ad agency and he even opened up about the problems he’d had so far with that, as well as his fears of failure. Justin shared a little about himself and his childhood, but his stories were limited just like his life had been. And Justin had no plans for his own future - he’d never been encouraged to have any by his controlling mother - but while talking with Brian, he started to think about things a little more. Maybe he could actually have a plan now? And even though the very concept of some nebulous future out here in the real world threatened to cause an upsurge of panic, the tendrils of that novel idea started to take root in Justin’s mind.

As the day started to wind down, Brian felt himself getting tired. It didn’t make much sense since all he’d done all day was sit in a chair and drive, but he was more exhausted than he would have expected. So much for his idea to get a move on. And they were still only about halfway across Wyoming. It seemed that this fucking state just went on and on, though. Unless he was prepared to drive through the night again, it didn’t look like they’d make it out of Wyoming today. He figured that they might as well find a place to hunker down for the night and then get a fresh start bright and early the next morning. Brian put his little blond navigator on the case and in no time the kid had found another RV park about twenty-five miles down the road in the town of Rawlins.

Right afterwards, the RV drove past a large sign off the side of the highway announcing that they were now passing over the Continental Divide. Justin, with input from his Devil’s Box, quickly started spouting all sorts of facts about the Continental Divide. And normally Brian would have let the kid go on with his little PSA. Unfortunately, Brian had his own PSA to impart this time so he interrupted Justin’s prattling.

“Hey, Sunshine,” Brian’s tone as much as his words probably helped get Justin’s attention. “You can tell me more about the Continental Divide later, okay. But, before we stop for the night, we need to discuss how we’re going to work things at this place.” Brian fumbled a little, not knowing exactly how to explain what he was worried about without scaring the shit out of the kid. In the end though, there wasn’t any easy way to approach the conversation Brian knew had to happen. “I don’t want you to get too freaked out, Sunshine, but I do need to warn you a little bit about how we should act around people here in the boonies of Wyoming. See, Wyoming isn’t well known for being either tolerant or accepting of people like us. Wyoming’s one of those places where the saying, ‘Where Men are Men and the Sheep are Afraid’, isn’t just a joke. So we need to be careful about how we act while we’re here.”

“People like us?” Justin asked, clearly confused. “What do you mean? People with scary parents? People in RVs? And what do sheep have to do with it, Brian?”

“Forget the sheep, Sunshine. What I meant was people who are ‘gay’,” Brian clarified.

“Why wouldn’t they be accepting of happy people? That makes no sense, Brian. Why would the state of Wyoming not want happy people to come here?”

“Not ‘gay’ as in happy, Justin. I meant ‘gay’ as in homosexual . . . As in men who find other men attractive. You know, like in the book I had you read yesterday - The Joys of Gay Sex. That kind of ‘gay’.” Brian tried to explain even though that look of confusion remained fixed on the young blond’s face.

“Oh. Well, they did all look very happy in those pictures. I just thought that’s why the book was called that,” Justin seemed completely unfazed by the concept of ‘gay’.

“Justin, ‘gay’ is a term used to describe people who find others of their same gender sexually attractive. Primarily, men who like men. Men like me . . . and I assume like you too since you seem to find me, at least, attractive. That’s what I mean when I use the word ‘gay’,” Brian explained further. “Unfortunately, there’s a lot of people out there who don’t approve of the idea of two men being together. And a LOT of those kinds of people seem to live here in Wyoming. So, while we’re here we just need to be a little more careful. You don’t want to be blurting out that we’re boyfriends.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Brian,” Justin seemed disposed to argue the point. “Why would anyone else care that we like each other? None of the people back in Portland seemed to care that I was your boyfriend. And Hank and Mabel didn’t care - or the rest of our Idaho neighbors. So, why would Wyoming people care? Anyway, what do you mean by ‘we need to be careful’?”

“Well, the Dennison’s were very accepting, Justin, and their son Marvin is gay too, so they’re used to the idea. I was actually surprised that Hank, Mabel and the rest of those folks in Idaho were so welcoming - I hadn’t expected that since Idaho and Utah are so predominantly Mormon and that usually means anti-gay. But I doubt we’ll have the same luck here in Wyoming. Shit, it’s been less than twenty years since a couple of homophobic fuckers here in Wyoming tortured and killed a kid named Matthew Shepard just for being gay. So, while we’re here, we’re going to be careful, even if I am probably being overcautious. It’s better to be safe than sorry.” Brian caught a glimpse of Justin’s face as he mentioned the Shepard thing and didn’t like the fear that he was seeing, but knew that the far-too-trusting boy needed the warning nonetheless, so he simply forged on.

“You see, Justin, there’s a lot of people out there who don’t think two men should be together. They think being ‘gay’ is wrong,” Brian tried to explain something that even he didn’t always understand. “They think that sex should ONLY be between a man and a woman. Mostly, I think they’re just scared because they don’t understand. They might claim it’s because their religion says being gay is evil or bad, but I think they just don’t like us because they can’t deal with anyone who’s different. Or they think that because we’re gay we’ll attack them and try to force them all into anal sex or something. Stupid fuckers!” Brian found himself getting angry and had to force himself to calm down enough so that he wouldn’t scare Justin.

“I guess I never really thought about it before,” Justin seemed contemplative. “All the books and television shows my mother let me watch always had just a boy and a girl together. But then, when we were on the airplane together and you called me your boyfriend, I just assumed that it was okay. I mean, I don’t know much about stuff like that,” Justin blushed again prettily before continuing with his revelations. “But, I DO like you, Brian. A LOT. And it doesn’t feel bad or wrong to kiss you or . . . or the other stuff we do together. It feels really nice. So, I don’t understand why anyone else would think it was wrong. Maybe, like my mother, they just don’t know how nice it feels? Do you think they know about that book, the Joys of Gay Sex? If they all read that, and saw how much fun it all looked like, maybe they wouldn’t be so scared anymore.”

“I DON’T think that would work, Sunshine,” Brian chuckled at the idea of mounting a Nationwide gay sex education initiative. “But, whatever, the bottom line is that they don’t like us and there’s a significant number of these homophobes who are downright nasty about it. Even violent sometimes. And I don’t want you to get hurt, which is why we need to be careful.” Brian saw the sign indicating they were nearing the turn off for Rawlins and decided it was time to wrap up this conversation for the time being. “You’ll have to trust me on this. I just want us both to be safe. So, while we’re here, we can’t kiss or hold hands in public. And you probably need to watch what you say a little more than usual. For instance, you shouldn’t call me your boyfriend. Okay?”

“Yeah, I guess. But it sounds to me like more pretending, and we already know I’m not very good at pretending,” Justin was chewing on his lip worriedly.

“You’ll be fine, Sunshine. I’m sure we’ll both be fine . . .”

The RV park in Rawlins wasn’t much to look at. It was even bleaker than the one in Twin Falls. Basically, it was just a flat gravel parking lot right off the interstate with power and water hook ups and picnic tables separating the various rigs parked there. Luckily, Brian managed to secure a slot off to the side of the main park area with a tiny bit of grass under the picnic table even. There weren’t a lot of RVs in the campground this evening so they were able to spread out just enough to feel like they had a little privacy, but it wasn’t much.

Brian had made Justin stay inside the RV while he was signing them into the campground. He still wasn’t sure the younger man would be able to maintain a low profile while they were there. He realized he was probably just being paranoid, but Brian wasn’t taking any chances.

While Brian was setting up the RV connections, Justin grabbed a box of Lucky Charms from the RV’s pantry to snack on. The boy sat down at the nearby picnic table, snacking on his oats and marshmallow bits while watching Mr. Manly showing off how, after two whole days of doing the RV thing, he was now a complete and total expert. Of course, the connections weren’t exactly the same as they’d been back in Idaho, so Brian was still scratching his head, muttering to himself and looking at the hook up box ten minutes later. In the meantime, something furry scampering around in the small patch of grass under the wooden table caught Justin’s attention.  

Putting down the cereal box on the bench beside him, Justin bent over the bench seat to get a better look. At first, it appeared to be a kitten. He reached out his hand and the little thing came over for a sniff. Justin promptly scooped up the bundle of black and white fluff and brought it out from under the table. He soon realized his mistake when he got a closer look at the black fur with the distinctive white stripes. This wasn’t a lost kitten but a baby skunk. He recalled seeing skunks on a show he’d watched on Animal Planet. This one didn’t look all that scary, though. Holding it in the palm of his hand, Justin petted the little critter with the index finger of his other hand.

Luckily the baby skunk seemed to be unconcerned about being handled by the human and was enjoying the attention. Justin reached into the box of Lucky Charms and offered one of the marshmallow bits to the fuzzy baby in his hand. The little guy gave it a sniff and immediately began nibbling on it hungrily.  

As Justin continued feeding his foundling skunk, he noticed some additional movement in his peripheral vision. The boy turned toward the source of the movement and there was the mother skunk waddling her way over with the rest of her kits in tow, heading straight towards where Justin was sitting.   

With a huge welcoming smile, Justin slowly made his way down to the ground to sit cross legged, bringing the box of cereal along with him. He reached into the box and pulled out a handful, extending his arm to the mamma and her brood, all the while showing that the young one he had in his hand was safe and had actually curled up and fallen asleep after its snack. Mamma was receptive - she eagerly sniffed at the offering and began snacking too. This appeared to be the signal for the babies to join in. Justin slowly lowered his hand and placed the cereal and marshmallows on the ground. The skunks seemed to really enjoy the marshmallow bits the most and those were eaten quickly before they moved on to the cereal pieces.

As the babies each had their fill, they toddled their way over to Justin. Some scampered their way into his lap and some curled up against his legs. Justin was tickled pink that these little babies trusted him so much - not to mention the mom not feeling threatened by his presence. He was pretty sure that the Animal Planet show had said that skunks could get really stinky, but these little guys didn’t seem too threatening. Not long after that, the mamma skunk finished eating and made her way closer to Justin as well. Justin had another handful of cereal ready in case she wanted more. He placed this pile closer to his leg, hoping that he would gain more of her trust and be able to pet her, too.  

Eventually, the mamma came closer and Justin got his wish. He showed the mamma skunk the little guy he still had sleeping in his hand. She gave it a sniff, seemed to be satisfied with what she saw and checked on her other little ones that were resting nearby before settling down herself.

By this time, Brian had finally finished his manly RV tasks. He turned around, looking for Justin, and was instantly alarmed at what he saw - Justin was surrounded by skunks! He was about to shout and storm the group in an attempt to save the boy, but then he noticed that they all seemed rather happy together, so he paused. Then Brian glimpsed the box of Lucky Charms sitting in the grass next to the boy’s feet and correctly surmised that both the skunks and the boy were happily fed. Apparently even smelly wild animals could sense the innate goodness and kindness in this boy. Only Justin could have accomplished something this incredible.

Deciding to remain where he stood - hopefully far enough away from any potentially stinky creatures that he wouldn’t get sprayed even if they changed their minds about being calm and friendly - Brian took out his phone and snapped some pictures. The boy was glowing with happiness. Brian thought the skunks were too. That was just too weird. But, also, too Justin.

“Justin . . .” Brian said quietly, trying to get the kid’s attention. “You DO know those are skunks, right?”

Justin glanced over at Brian, his face shining with delight and gave Brian a nod of his head in the affirmative. “Yeah, and they're so nice and sweet. They even like to cuddle.” Justin beamed, his voice tinged with something akin to pride. “Maybe we can we take one of them home with us? I'm sure that I could take care of it. All I’d need is a box of Lucky Charms,” implored Justin.

Brian looked at Justin in utter disbelief at the suggestion. Pet skunks? What the hell? Surely Justin realized that traveling with a skunk was not a viable option . . .

“Sorry, Justin, but we can NOT take one of the babies. The mother skunk would probably be sad if one of her babies went missing. Not only that, but not all states will allow a wild animal like a skunk as a pet. And let’s not forget about the stink factor. Right now they’re all happy and snuggly, but they WILL spray if they feel threatened or scared.” Brian explained his reasoning quietly and calmly so as not to agitate his gentle blond OR the skunks in his care.

Though Justin was disappointed, he knew Brian was right. He would feel terrible if he caused the mamma skunk any distress. “I guess you’re right, Brian. I would hate to cause the mom to get all upset. I suppose I’ll just enjoy them while I can.”

“How about I take some more pictures so that you can remember them, Justin.” Brian offered, taking out his phone once again and snapping more pictures of the skunk family asnooze on Justin’s lap. “And then you can send them all on their way . . . and take a long shower.”

The skunk family snoozed for a while longer but eventually woke up. Justin gave them all some love and attention along with some more Lucky Charms and some water poured in the cup of his hand from a bottle Brian rolled to him. Once satisfied, the mamma skunk corralled all her kits and they toddled back to where they came from. Justin sat there watching them go as Brian took more pictures to commemorate the event.

“Come on, Justin. It’s shower time!” Brian held out his hand to help Justin up, giving the boy’s arm an extra little playful tug so that he almost fell into Brian’s chest. They both laughed and Justin beamed up at Brian with one of his extra-sunshiney smiles.

“Well now, I figgered I’d seen just about everythin’ in my day, but I ain’t never seen nobody charm a damned skunk before,” stated a loud male voice from a few meters away off behind Brian’s back. Brian quickly dropped Justin’s hand, took a step back away from the younger man and turned around slowly to confront their new guest. “So, I guess you two ain’t from around these parts, are you? If you were, you’d as soon a shot them fucking stink bombs as made friends with ‘em. That particular little mamma skunk’s been giving me no end of trouble around here, what with spraying the campers’ dogs and raiding my garbage. But you just waltzed right in here and got ‘em tamed in no time. That’s definitely a first for me.”

“Well, that’s Justin for you. He seems to make friends pretty much wherever we go,” Brian replied cautiously, at the same time moving so that he was between Justin and this hick.

“Name’s DeSylvio,” the man said, holding out his hand towards Brian as he approached. “I’m the owner of this place.”

Brian accepted the proffered hand and shook it, making sure to exert a firm grip as he gauged the man’s threat level. The man was older - probably in his fifties or so - and at least six inches shorter than Brian but stocky. He probably outweighed Brian by a good fifty pounds, although it was mostly flab not muscle. The man’s skin was a dark sun-burned brown and looked like it was as tough as leather. His thinning salt and pepper hair was cropped short but neatly trimmed. The man’s clothing was rugged too, although it looked like it was at least decent quality. From what Brian could see, DeSylvio was probably what would pass for prosperous out here in the wilds of Wyoming.

“Well, since you boys seem to have at least shooed off my skunk problem for the rest of the evening without anyone getting sprayed, I guess I owe you one,” DeSylvio reached into the back pocket of his well-worn pair of jeans, pulled out his wallet and extracted two business cards. “Here you go. Give those to the manager and he’ll set you two up with passes for the miniature golf course and a free hour with the pedal bikes. My compliments.” Brian accepted the gift with a nod and then handed them off to the little blond who was now bouncing on his toes with anticipation at the idea of having even more fun with Brian.

“Thanks. That ought to keep Justin busy and out of trouble for at least a little while,” Brian replied with a sideways glance to calm the boisterous bouncing boy.

“No problem. Enjoy yourselves,” DeSylvio took a step away from them but then turned back with one final word. “Just a word of caution though . . . I’m more of the ‘Don’t ask, Don’t tell’ sort myself, but there’s a couple of the residents here who might not be such forward thinkers, if you get my drift. If I was you two boys, I’d steer clear of Buster and Cletus Wheeling - they got their rig set up aways down at the far end of Row B. Just so’s you know . . .” Then he turned and sauntered away without another glance back.

“Shit!” Brian muttered under his breath, reaching up to rub at his neck, which was still a bit stiff from his day of driving and was now feeling even tighter due to the additional stress of meeting their campground’s host.

“Brian? Is that one of those people who don’t want us to be happy?” Justin asked as he peeked around Brian’s shoulder and watched DeSylvio walking away.

“Actually, HE was probably one of the better ones around here. But, like I said before, we should definitely be careful.”

“Does that mean we can’t play small golf or ride bikes? Cause that would make me even more happy and since they don’t want us to be happy here in Wyoming . . .”

“They don’t mind you being happy, Sunshine, as long as you’re not so happy that you’re ‘gay’,” Brian clarified as he led the younger man back to their RV for that shower and some dinner before heading off to the miniature golf course for Justin’s happy but not gay entertainment.

By the time they actually made it to the RV Park’s little putt-putt golf course, the sun was setting and dusk was coming on. Justin had been so excited by the idea of ‘small golf’ that he barely made it through dinner. Brian himself was groaning at the idea of having to do something as tacky as putt-putt golf, but he didn’t like leaving the boy alone in this environment. So, if the kid wanted to putt-putt, Brian was resigned to putt-putt too.

The tiny little putt-putt course set up near the front of the campground area wasn’t very impressive - it was only eight holes and not very creative, but it WAS apparently the only entertainment around. There were a few other RV Park denizens playing already and even one or two Rawlins natives. Brian and Justin joined the parade of golfers and waited their turn whenever there was a bit of traffic on the course. Since he hadn’t wanted to wait long enough to eat dessert, Justin had brought along the remains of his bag full of chocolate chip cookies from Idaho. In between holes or when they were forced to take a break until the groups playing ahead of them moved on, Justin would seat himself on the railing that surrounded the course and munch on a cookie. It was all so fucking domesticated and small-town America that Brian felt like bolting from the poor excuse of a course in the shortest order possible, but he didn’t say anything since he didn’t want to ruin Justin’s fun or offend the locals.

By the time they were nearing the last few holes, it was getting rather dark and Brian and Justin were pretty much the only players left. Brian was busy looking over a particularly crooked bank shot for the next hole while Justin was sitting and nibbling on his fifth or sixth cookie when the boy’s excited squeak distracted the putter. Brian looked over his shoulder and saw Justin’s little black and white friends from earlier coming back down the nearby trail and heading straight for the kid with the cookies.

“Look, Just Brian! My friends are back! Good thing I still have a few cookies left,” Justin plopped his butt down in the dirt and crumbled up a handful of cookies, depositing the results in several little piles on the ground around him. “Aren’t they sweet! I don’t know why that unhappy man who owns this place doesn’t like them. Mamma Skunk seems very nice to me.”

“Yeah, well, that’s probably because you’re the only one around here not trying to shoot her,” Brian offered as he took his next swing and expertly potted the ball with only the one stroke.

“Well, I’d spray him with stink too if he tried to shoot at me,” Justin asserted as he backed away from the supping skunks in order to take his turn on the course.

Justin didn’t have Brian’s years of experience playing pool to help him line up his golf shots so he wasn’t coming even close to matching Brian’s three below par score. This was frustrating the younger man a bit and he was trying to emulate Brian as best he could. When he couldn’t figure out the last hole though, Brian relented and came over to help. Standing behind Justin, with his hands covering the youngster’s, he explained the angles, force and timing needed to get the ball through the spinning windmill that would mark the end of the game. Justin listened carefully, lined up his shot and then let Brian guide him through the swing . . . And he sunk the ball with only one stroke!

“I did it! I did it! Did you see that, Just Brian! I did it!” the effervescent blond was bubbling away, jumping up and down for joy and then ended his happy dance by bouncing himself right into Brian’s arms.

“Lookie here, Buster. I think we found us a couple of uphill gardening, shirt lifting, faggoty golfers.” A nasally twanging voice came out of the gloom from over near the little shed where the golfing equipment was stored and startled Brian and Justin.

“Stay behind me, Justin,” Brian ordered in a whisper as he moved deliberately around so that he was sheltering the younger man from whomever was speaking.

“I think you’re right, Cletus. I think we got us a pair of certified big city homo-sexuals here. They probably didn’t get the memo that we don’t take to their kind here abouts. But now that they know, I’m sure they won’t mind us escorting them out of town, directly. So, what do you say, fellas? You gonna move along nice and quiet like or are we gonna get to have a little fun here first?”

“Last I heard, boys, Mother Nature owned this glorious place, not you two redneck breeders,” Brian snarked back at the two hulking menaces that were just now walking towards them as they edged around the railed off miniature golfing area. Brian raised up the metal putter he’d been using while golfing, hefting it over his shoulder in a threatening stance, before he went on. “So, how about you two just go back to fucking your sisters or cousins or whoever and we’ll just mind our own business and be out of your god forsaken state soon enough.”

“Ooooo! This one’s uppity, Buster! I think he needs to be taught some manners,” snarled the first voice again, while the body it went along with paced slowly closer to Brian and Justin’s position.

“I think you’re right, Cletus. How ‘bout we wash their dirty faggot mouths out and then show ‘em how we treat butt-fucking, fudge-packing, rump riders here in God’s Country.” The second shadowy figure separated from the first so that he was now coming up at an angle on the other side of the set upon pair.

“Sunshine,” Brian whispered again, thinking as fast as he could even while he tried to keep both their would-be attackers in his range of vision. “Reach into my right pocket and pull out my phone. Got it?” Brian could feel Justin nodding his head against the sleeve of his shirt. “Good. Now, as soon as they get near enough, I’m going to try my damnedest to take both these fuckers out with this golf club. And in the meantime, as soon as you see me start to swing, I want you to run as fast as you can back to the RV, lock yourself inside and don’t come out for fucking anything. And while you’re there, call the fucking police - not that they’ll be much help in a hick town like this, but we can always dream, right? You understand, Sunshine?”

“Yeah . . .” Justin’s voice was small and frightened and Brian hated hearing that tone but figured there wasn’t much he could do about it.

“Get ready, Sunshine. Here they come . . .”

Brian was ready to come out swinging. He might be outnumbered but he had a solid metal club in his hands so he was confident he could at least do a fair amount of damage to these two. At the very least he hoped to slow them down enough so that Justin could get to safety. That was assuming that Justin didn’t panic and just collapse at their feet, providing the perfect target. But Brian didn’t really have time to worry about that possibility, since the two bruisers were now only about three meters away from them.

Which is when first Cletus and then Buster discovered that it pays to have friends no matter where you travel and that sometimes even the smallest friendly gesture can net some big rewards.

As Cletus neared the railing that circled the golf course, his big cowboy booted foot happened to stomp on the tail of one of Mamma Skunk’s babies who had previously been scared away from his cookie crumb feast by the yelling man. The little furball had hunkered down behind a clump of grass - the only shelter the baby could find on such short notice - but was separated from his mother and the rest of his siblings. When the heavy tread of the big old redneck landed on his tail, the baby screamed in protest, sounding just like a human baby. The noise scared the piss out of Cletus, who jumped back about two feet . . . right into the path of the angry mother skunk who was on her way to rescue her kit. And, with an almost perfect aim, Mamma Skunk twisted around until her rear was pointing the right direction and shot a stream of skunk spray right into the big bully’s unsuspecting eyes.

“FUCK! ARRRRGGGGHHHHH! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!” Cletus ran screaming away from the unseen - but definitely smelt - attacker and ran right into the railing, tripping himself and flipping over right onto his face. The impact was enough to knock the oaf out cold.

Buster, who, because of the rising darkness, hadn't yet figured out what had caused his brother to bolt, started to run towards the spot where Cletus had fallen. Unfortunately for him, that happened to be right where Mamma Skunk was standing, still holding a defensive stance until she was sure all her babies were safely away. Buster was only a little more than a foot away when Mamma let go with a second blast of oily skunk spray, perfectly directed right up into this second target’s face. And, since Buster wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, the idiot ran the exact same way as his bubba Cletus had, fell over the exact same railing and landed on his head as well.

As soon as all the threatening creatures had ceased to struggle, Mamma Skunk raised her snout in the air and trundled off towards the trailhead with an affronted air -  the kits following in her wake.

“Well, Justin, it looks like Mamma Skunk told those good-old-boys what was what! Apparently, making friends with the wild life really does have some benefits! I don’t think those two will be bothering us for a while,” was Brian's laughing comment as he and his boyfriend turned on their heels and walked away, leaving the two stinky would-be bullies to the mercy of Mother Nature.