Chapter Three
Blow This Popsicle Stand
Melanie Markus sat at her dining room table across from the woman that she loved more than life itself and was unable to touch her. She knew that she needed to be comforted, but how could she when she knew that she knew she wouldn’t allow her too. It was going to be kind of hard anyways because she was holding on to poor Isabella like her like if she let her go she would fade from existence.
“How have you been?” Melanie asked. As soon as she said those words she knew they were wrong, how did she think she was doing? She had been through a horrible ordeal and had to leave to recover and now here she had to be strong for her son and her and daughter.
“I’m sorry, that was a stupid question.” Melanie stated.
“Its fine I’m doing better I’m finally realizing that what happened wasn’t my fault, no matter what some chose to say.
Melanie knew that was thrown for her. What she had done was wrong and she knew it, but Lindsay had betrayed her again and this time Brian had helped. It hurt but now she would give all her money to be able to touch Lindsay again.
“So are you going to move back here?” She asked hoping.
“Well of course I am right now. I mean Gus needs me and Izzy. I do care for my children Melanie. How is JR?” she added so she would know that she meant her as well.
Well you know the age she’s 14 and becoming a woman. I don’t know yet if she’s going to be gay or if she’s just angry because I’m her mother. She misses you.
“I didn’t abandon her!” Lindsay stated as her hand began to shake.
“Are you alright?” Melanie asked concerned. She had to remind herself that Lindsay was not well.
Lindsay couldn’t help the sort of psychotic laugh that left her lips. “Of course I’m alright. I have to be my baby needs me.” She stated snuggling into a sleeping Isabella.
Dr. Brendan Block stood at the foot of Brian Kinney’s bed looking over his chart. He couldn’t believe that this was happening to Brian. He was going to finally leave this hospital when he heard this happened he decided to stay a little longer, at least to see Brian through all of this. He owed that too him. He had helped him build the solid relationship he now had with Michael. Michael would have mourned Ben forever if Brian hadn’t told him to give him a chance. For that he would do anything to help him and Justin through this.
“Any change?” Justin asked hoping.
“You know the routine it’s just a waiting game Justin. He’s been having a lot of movements which is a good sign. If he just lied there and never moved I would be worried but he has grabbed you twice, and someone said they heard him humming the other day. He’s just confused the swelling has gone down a lot but there’s a little left. Scans look good, there appears to be some damage due to the trauma but we will not know how severe until he wakes up and tells us what’s going on.
“If.” Justin stated morbidly.
“Hey now, I gave up a job in Detroit to make sure that he pulls through he would not disappoint me this way. Now have you eaten?” Brendan asked his friend.
“No, Gus and Chris are down in the cafeteria I was supposed to meet them about an hour ago, but I didn’t want to leave him.”
“I assure you that if you go downstairs and get something to eat that he’ll be here when you get back. Now go ahead and have a sandwich. I’ll stay here till you get back.”
“Will you really Brendan?” he asked.
“Yea all of my patients are fine unless there’s an emergency I’ll sit right here until you get back. Go now your son needs you.” Brendan added that part knowing it would get Justin moving.
“Okay I won’t be long.
Chris really didn’t know how to comfort her boyfriend and that really sucked. She wanted to be the caring girlfriend but how could she do that when her boyfriend acted like he had severe emotional problems half the time. All the time when she thought that she had a breakthrough and was going to get him to open up about something important he would shut down. Sometimes he could be so open and loving and then he would put up a wall up that no matter how much she tried she couldn’t break through.
“So I hear your mom is in town, how she doing?” she asked calmly.
“She just got leave from an asylum how do you think she’s doing?” he asked coldly.
“Don’t do this okay; you know I hate it when you act this way. I’m right here and I’m here for you to do whatever you need to do so if you need to scream or yell go ahead, but don’t close me out.
Gus thought about this for a second. He was not his father, his father told him over and over again not to treat his relationships like he treated his with Justin. He often told him that he treated Justin like shit for over half his life and all he did was love him. He couldn’t do that to Chris. She was everything. He could do this he could tell her.
“You know I told you that my parents are split up right now, they have been for last couple of years right.”
“Yea but that’s all you told me.” she stated trying not to seem interested but she was she wanted to know everything about Gus. She had never felt the way that she felt about anyone like she did about Gus. She just wanted him to know that she was there for him.
“Well it was because of my mom cheating on Melanie. They love each other so much but sometimes my mom can be wrong. It went wrong though, because she and the woman that she was seeing were meeting up at dad’s house and there was this fire and that’s what happened to my mom’s face.
“Her face?” Christina asked confused. She had met his mother and she didn’t see anything wrong with her face.
“You can’t really tell now, but she had to have a surgery because a lamp blew up in her face and it burned her. She was supposed to be picking my sister up from Melanie because she had to be in court but she was getting some “afternoon delight”. That was the day that Melanie told my mother she was just like dad. Might’ve not have been so bad but when she told her she was fighting for her life as well as the life of my sister. Stupid cunt!” he shouted. Can we get out of here I don’t wanna be here any longer.
Recovery- To regain ones ability. That was what she was supposed to be doing when she went away three years ago. It wasn’t supposed to take this long and she had missed out on so much of her daughters’ lives. Isabella wasn’t supposed to be hers not in the way that Gus or JR were. She was supposed to be Brian’s and Justin’s but she could see her whenever and watch her grow but because of temptation she had lost so much. She had lost Isabella’s growth, Brian’s trust, Melanie’s love, and Sarah. Poor Sarah, sometimes recovery could be a bitch.
You know how when you’re swimming you feel weightless? Well that’s how this feels. I’m floating and trying to get through this fog but I can’t. I keep telling myself that if I just turn this way or that way that the fog can be lifted but it’s like I’m getting lost in translation. Like I know what I want and need to do but my mind and body won’t cooperate. I need to wake up. Been trying to do it for the past week or so. I hear them come in and say they love and they miss me. When the hell did I become so likeable? Aren’t I still an asshole. My own mother even came in and I think she was sincere. She brought Samuel. I hadn’t seen that bear since my dad broke four ribs. This could make her change her mind about me but cancer couldn’t. Well fuck me.
When Brian Kinney opened his eyes for the first time in seven days he didn’t know what to make of it. It was bright and scary and nothing looked like he remembered. Where the hell was he? He needed Justin. He tried to talk but he couldn’t there was this huge tube down his throat. He went to pull it out, but a big man stopped him. Who the fuck was that? He looked at him for the longest time. He knew him didn’t he? Maybe he fucked him. Had he fucked him and he was having his sick way with him? The fucker, he would make him pay if he could just remember where he was exactly.
“Calm down Brian, I know that it made seem a little foggy right now, but its fine. It’s me Brendan.
It wasn’t lost on Brendan at how Brian seemed to look through him. That scared him; he thought that Brian would be okay. He needed to be okay.
“Brian do you know where you are?” he asked professionally.
It really hurt when Brian shook his head for no. “You’re at the hospital you were in an accident. You’ve been in a coma for seven days we’ve been waiting for you to open those eyes of yours. Do you know who I am Brian?” Brendan asked.
Brian looked at this guy. How the fuck did he know him, didn’t he know he didn’t remember tricks names. Maybe he wasn’t a trick maybe he had done enough dope and fried his brain. Dear god what about Justin, did he hurt Justin? He could feel his heart beating fast. He let out a loud yelp when the man removed the tube. He noticed the lab jacket guess he was a doctor, probably his.
“Justin?” Brian asked
“Oh he went to get something to eat. He’s been here every day since it happened. I told him that I would stay if he went down and got something to drink. We’re going to give you something to make you more comfortable and we’re going to run some tests okay?” he stated as he rubbed Brian’s shoulder.
“Okay.” He said. Everything seemed so normal while he was asleep but now since he was awake it all was different. His head hurt and he wanted Justin. He needed Justin badly. He was going to ask for him but he could feel the fog coming back to claim him. He was sleep before he could say the name Justin.
Justin really was trying to listen to what Michael was saying about he and Brendan’s new apartment and how Hunter was coming up with his girlfriend but he really couldn’t stop thinking about Brian and he knew that Michael understood and he was just speaking to be speaking. He and Michael had come to that point in their friendship. He was just filling the space that was meant for Gus and his girlfriend but by the time he had gotten there they were gone. He wondered where they had gone. Justin was about to finally start paying attention to Michael’s conversation but he saw Brendan approaching out of the corner of his eye.
“What’s wrong?” he asked already beginning to panic.
“He’s awake; I thought maybe you would want to be by his side.” Brendan stated with a smile.
“Oh god yes he stated as he got his coffee and got up to head to Brian’s room.
Brian awoke with a start. He knew immediately that he didn’t like it where he was. The fucking beeping of the machine was making the pounding in his head worst. He didn’t like Breckin or Benjin or whatever the fuck that guy who came was. He needed Justin. “Where was he?” he wondered. He pulled himself from the bed and went on search for him. He didn’t like this place too much white.
Lindsay stood outside the room that they told her was Brian’s just waiting. She didn’t know what to do. A huge part of her wanted to go in and tell him that she was sorry. She was sorry for sneaking around on Mel, and for burning down his house, and for Sarah. She was his friend and now she was dead because they wanted to be romantic in his house. She didn’t even know that something was wrong with the fireplace. She guesses she just wasn’t listening when Brian had told her that. She almost lost the baby that day. He had gotten so angry with her. She had never seen him so furious. Then there was Mel. She had to face the music it was part of her recovery.
“Going in?” asked a familiar voice.
“I don’t know, the nurses say that he’s a bit confused about some things maybe I shouldn’t go in. I mean I heard that Brendan went to find Justin so maybe I should let the two of them have their moment and then go back to the house and come down with Izzy later.” Lindsay stated trying to find some reason in what she was saying.
“I don’t know Lindz, maybe you should go in and see him for yourself and then decide if you know Izzy should even be down here.” Melanie stated as she gently put her hand on Lindsay’s shoulder. She was thrilled when she didn’t flinch away like she normally did.
“I don’t know what if he’s still angry.” Lindsay stated afraid of facing Brian after all this time.
“He doesn’t hate you Lindz, he was scared for you and for Izzy, but he knew that part of the equation you had never imagined. If you are really that scared I’ll be right there with you, that’s if you want me to be.” she said giving her shoulder a little squeeze.
“I’d like that a lot.” She was happy that Melanie agreed to go in with her she of all people knew that Brian wasn’t her favorite person. She also knew that the two of them had bonded a lot since she had been away. She finally turned the knob to enter and once inside they both stopped and begin to look around. Brian’s room was empty.
Gus was glad that he and Christina had decided to take this walk. The hospital was beginning to depress the hell out of him. He knew what she meant to him, and he knew what he meant to her. Why did he have these doubts sometimes? He knew why it was because of the people in his life that set the examples. Brian and Justin who had broken up so many times it was so hard for him to even keeping track anymore.
“Feeling better?” Chris asked as they walked back towards the hospital.
“Yea, I think it was just the hospital setting, those places can really bring you down, I’ve spent far too much of my life in those plastic waiting room chairs.”
Chris wanted to know what he meant by that but she didn’t ask. She knew that he would share when he thought she was ready to hear.
“So shall we go back and see what’s going on with your dad? Gus?” she asked when she noticed he was frozen in that spot looking across the street at someone. When she turned to look a man was walking down the street in a pair of pajamas and a blue robe.
“Are you Justin?” Brian asked everyone he passed. He was really getting pissed because well he knew that he had to find Justin but right now he really couldn’t remember who a Justin was he just knew that he had to have him. “Have you seen Justin?” he asked the next woman that walked near him. He didn’t like the way that she looked at him.
“This is me.” He stated as he pointed to the hospital bracelet around his left wrist. “I’m Brian Kinney but I’m not looking for me. I’m not lost.” He stated matter-of-factly. “Are you Justin?” he asked the next young man who came up to him, he wasn’t alone he was with a girl.
“Dad it’s me Gus. Are you alright?” Gus asked as he approached his father. He could tell that something was off about his father. He looked almost childlike when he approached him.
“Gus? No Gus is like this?” Brian stated putting his arms up as if he was holding a baby. “You’re like me you can’t be Gus. Are you Justin?” he asked getting very confused. He knew him he knew he did. Was he Gus? Yes he was, he knew that, why was he being so stupid he knew that it was Gus.
“Gus, I lost Justin do you know where he is?” he asked not able to stop the sobbing, he reached for Gus and Gus took him in his arms to comfort him. He gave Chris a look of both confusing and horror, as his father continued to sob. Brian needed Justin, and maybe some sleep of some kind.
“Yea dad I know where he is come on let’s get you out the street.” Gus stated as he took his father’s hand and helped him from the street. He had noticed how the crowd was forming and was that a cop car? He wondered just how many people his dad has frightened for the cops to be called.
“Come on Dad I’ll get you to Justin.” Together with Chris on one side and him on the other they helped a suddenly very groggy Brian back to the hospital.
“How the fuck can you just loose a patient. Brian just got out of a coma how was he even capable of walking out of this hospital.” Justin demanded at the nurse’s station.
“Mr. Kinney is quite lucid. He had to have slipped out when we were having our shift change. He’s in his pajamas and his robe; if we weren’t really looking it would have been easy. I know that is no way to explain things and we are looking as hard as possible. We have no doubt he will show up.
“When I’m about five seconds away from suing this whole damn hospital or now damn it!.” Justin stated getting upset but he would. He would sue this whole damn place if something happened to his Brian.
“Justin I have him.” Gus announced when he came up. Chris and I were heading back and when we were a few blocks away we saw him. He was walking around in the street; I don’t even think he knew who or where he was. At first he didn’t even know me Justin, scared the shit out of me.” Gus stated not being lost on the fact that his father was clutching his hand very tightly and looked like a scared seven-year-old.
“Brian are you alright?” Justin asked as he approached Brian and took him in his arms and hugged him. It felt so good to feel him in his arms again. He loved how Brian hugged him back very tightly and kept his hand clutch in his.
“Justin?” Brian asked.
“Yea Brian I’m here, we’re going to get you back to your room and get you something to eat alright?” he stated soothingly.
“I was so lost.” Brian stated and then he began to cry.
Justin didn’t know what to do except hold him. What was wrong with Brian? It wasn’t like he had amnesia he knew who everyone was it was just like he wasn’t’ there. He frightened him to the core, but he could do this. He would be there for Brian he had done it for him.
“Brian running away like that is dangerous. Why did you leave?” Justin asked.
“I had to find Justin. I need him, but he went for drinks and he never came back so I got up to find him but then I got turned around. Too much white here so I blew this Popsicle stand.” Brian stated as he walked back toward his room.
“Come on love, I’ll help you back to your room.” Justin stated. He didn’t even have the heart to tell Brian that he was Justin he didn’t know if he knew that now. That he had found who he was looking for. He just enjoyed the fact that Brian was smiling at him while he walked back to his room with him. He couldn’t accept if Brian didn’t know who he was for now he was contempt in being in denial.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Enjoy