Chapter 9- Teenage Sensation- GusGus

Feel my heart slamming against my ribs/ The smell of your body and the touch of your

lips/ You are beyond all imagination/ You are beyond all imagination

Gee, I love you so much/ I can look and I can touch/ I can touch/ My teenage

sensation/ My teenage sensation/ Your skin must be from another world

My limbs are numbed with your pleasure dome/ For the first time, a revelation

Beyond all imagination/ Gee, I love you so much/ I can look and I can touch

And I think maybe, it's wrong/ How young is too young

My teenage sensation...

Songwriters

Birgir Thorarinsson;Sigurdur Kjartansson;Birgir Sigurdsson

Chapter 9- Teenage Sensation

Brian 

Justin walks into the loft like he still owns the place. It's so different from his first night here that I almost smile. Back in a time that seems light years away, Justin was simply a young ingenue who I couldn't wait to introduce to the world of carnal delights. I should have known then that he was going to bring my well-ordered existence crashing down around my ears. If I believed in the Bible, I would have termed Justin as my very own apple.

It was that fucking mythical piece of forbidden fruit that caused all the havoc, according to the church scholars. And Justin Taylor has been the reason for the emotional upheaval within my life. As I stand here watching his approach, I think there may be some truth to the theory. A tempting ass and a gorgeous face have been getting men into trouble since the beginning of time. What the fuck could have made me think I would or should have been immune?

At nineteen years old, Justin is far different from the young innocent that chased me around Liberty Avenue. Even now, his eyes scream of a seductive knowledge that I know isn't necessarily reserved just for me anymore. He prowls around the loft, sure in the knowledge that no matter how fucked up our non-relationship, or arrangement is I still do and always will want him. I wish I could prove him wrong, just this once. But Justin has always- on some fundamental level- been on to me.

"Strip," he says as he stands in front of me. At first, I wasn't sure that he had actually said it; thought it may have been a figment of my own overactive imagination. I mean, I had only been thinking about having his body in my arms again since I left him earlier on the boardwalk. So when he says it again in that low-pitched voice, which always slides across every cell within my body, I can't help but want to comply immediately. But I can't... yet.

"Are we really not going to talk?" I have to know, because even now, I'm thirsty for the easy banter between us that used to be. 

"No we aren't, since we have nothing to talk about. This is just about us getting our needs met."

"You mean you, don't you?"

"Yes."

That one simple word held a wealth of feeling for me. Justin was never one to really ask for what he wanted, or if he did, I would shoot him down, thereby making his wants and needs a non-issue... well at least for me. The fact that we are acting as little more than strangers at this moment is proof of that. "I'll make a deal with you."

"We've already made our deal, Brian. That is unless you want to renege on it?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then what are we waiting for? I'm here to get fucked, not conversate. You aren't ever interested in talking to your tricks."

"Is that what you consider yourself to me?" I can't believe that this defiant kid... No, not a kid. Justin hasn't been a kid to me since the morning after I met him. I cannot believe that he and I have been reduced to this... non-communication we have going on. It makes me wonder if Michael and Lindsay were right when they said that all Justin and I had in common was a love of cock. But no, that's not true either, since I can remember the times not so long ago that we actually did have long and extensive conversations about everything... That is everything except what we wanted, and what was causing us to implode. "Answer me, Justin. Is that what you consider yourself to be to me?"

"What else, Brian? If there was anything else, you should have said so. I did ask once, but well... that really doesn't matter now, does it? So are we officially going to become fuckbuddies, or is this over before it even begins?"

Justin begins to take off his clothes, and I am reminded of when I did similar to what he is doing, the first night I met him. Then it was a means of distracting him from his teenage ramblings and whatever other misgivings that were running through his blond little head. But this is Justin's way of employing the same tactics for a different reason. He's not slick, and I am still the master of diversionary tactics, even if Justin- now completely naked- is doing an excellent job of distracting me.

"I- um- I want to change one of the terms," I stammer as he moves closer to me, with that come hither look in his sapphire eyes.

"What is it?" He asks, as he begins unbuttoning my shirt, placing soft kisses as he exposes the skin on my chest.

How the fuck am I supposed to think with him doing that? His lips. His tongue. Oh fuck! His teeth. I have to...

"After we're f-finished, I-I want to ask you something." I can't concentrate with the way he's latched onto my nipple, and is alternately tonguing and sucking it. Justin stops mid-tongue roll and looks up at me, cocking his head to the side, trying to figure out what my angle is. I return the look as openly as I can so that he will know that I am serious. Before he can speak, I tell him, "I need to. Please, Justin."

"Why not just ask me now to get it over with, since you're so determined?"

"Because I can't not have you right now." I say as I grab him roughly, and all thoughts of talking fly out of my head as I press my lips to his.

There was no way this was going to be gentle, and I don't think Justin minds that at all. He practically purred as I hastily divested myself of my own clothes, needing to feel his alabaster skin against mine. Moving him backwards, I kiss him roughly and repeatedly as he meets my lips with equal fervor. I couldn't get enough of him nor could I wait to have him again. The steps leading to the bed are just way too much to traverse in this moment so I settle him on the nearest flat surface, the dining room table.

The ‘umph' that was torn from the back of his throat was music to my ears, as I reach under the table to slide out the hidden drawer with my emergency supplies in it. Preparing Justin as I slip on and lube up the condom, I almost cream on myself as I realize he's helping me by sticking one of his own fingers inside himself, right beside the two I'm already stretching him with. My little boy can't wait either, and fuck it all! I'm so gratified by that.

Laying him back on the table, I hastily put his long legs on my shoulders and slide him back down the table towards my waiting cock. I feel, as well as see, the deep inhale and slow exhale as I push in and slide through the outer rim into the cavern of paradise that I know has been waiting for my return. At first, I take it slow because no matter how anxious I am to hit bottom, I don't want to hurt him. Fucking Justin is an event to be savored, and I intend to do just that. As my shallow thrusts become deeper, I feel his legs tightening around my neck.

I can't help but turn my head and bite his calf hard, then lick away the sudden stinging pain. Justin's slight gasp turned into a full-on moan as I continued my assault within him, while still adding little bites to his legs. I could feel one of his toes caressing my ear lobe, and I'm unable to stop the giggling groan escaping me. It was something he did that first night and no matter how many times we have been in this particular position, it never fails to make me respond. I begin to move inside Justin in earnest, feeling him close around me, trying to keep me within him as long as he can.

The constant squeeze and release of his ass milking my cock causes me to move faster and harder until I'm hammering his prostate.

I can tell he's enjoying it, not only from the grunts and groans coming from him, but because he's covering his eyes. I swat his hands away as I usually do, when he tries to prevent me from seeing too much. I don't want Justin hiding his pleasure from me. I don't want him hiding anything from me! Would that I had realized this months ago, then we wouldn't have been relegated to this fast and furious fuckfest.

Justin is bending himself even more in half than he was already, making me go deeper and harder within him. I hear the breath ‘whoosh' out of him as I angle my dick to nail his prostate from a different direction. Over and over, I hear him moan my name like a mantra, a curse, and a prayer and it's driving me crazy with the constant need and want of him. Nothing and no one has ever felt like Justin... And nothing and no one ever will!

I feel the first waves of the climatic contractions flowing in my gut; the answering call rippling throughout his body. I couldn't help but speed up, even as my hand reached out to grasp his. I have never done that with anyone else, only Justin. This was my way of always knowing that he was with me, that he was focused solely on me, that I was the one with him. He laced his strong fingers into mine, holding onto me as he shut his eyes, absorbing all of the sensations buffeting him at once.

I could feel him cresting, the quickening within him coming in faster and flowing to me. As I jackhammered into him for the last time, I finally felt his own tribute between us. His spent cock continued to twitch and relieve itself even as he pulled me closer against him, using his legs to hold me tight. Our lips met in a kiss meant to soothe and calm, but in reality, enflamed us again. I knew that although we were both willing, there was just no way we were going to make it to round two this soon.

So I took advantage of the situation, and asked the one question that has been burning deep within my gut for months. "How did we get here, Justin?"

At first, I didn't think he was going to answer me. He just stared for a minute, and then closed his eyes again. When he opened them, I could see the tears he was doing his damndest to hold back. I realized that I taught him that; taught him to conceal his emotions, even when there was no need to. He took his legs from my shoulders, letting them fall open and off to the side, before shifting beneath me.

I withdrew my condom-covered member from his body, but didn't move away from him. Somehow I knew, even with him being on top of the table, that if I didn't get this answer now I probably never would.

Justin inhaled and exhaled a deep breath before answering. "The answer to that question is simple, Brian. We simply stopped talking, and then I stopped trying. There wasn't a set formula, nor right or wrong answer to how we fell apart. Just that we did."

I rolled his soft-spoken words around in my head for awhile, before I spoke again. "There were a lot of things I should have told you."

"There wasn't a need to, Brian. Or at least, not where you were concerned."

"Okay, I'll give you that." And I will, even if it hurts like hell to admit it now. "But Justin, why did you stop trying? You were never the type to give up on me, on us."

Again the space of ten heartbeats, before he answers. "For awhile, I thought that wasn't what you wanted. I mean, that's basically what I kept hearing from Michael and Lindsay. For a person- the shell of a person- who I was at the time, it was a lot to take in. I kept feeling like Michael was right, in that you had only taken me in because of the bashing." I started to speak, but he held up his hand for me to let him finish. So I do. "I know now that he wasn't correct, but I had already been having some major issues of my own. I was so fucking angry at everything and everyone, especially myself. And then there was you, too. And I was sad. I felt like I wasn't good enough anymore. I wasn't little Mr. Perfect Prep-school boy, who had managed to attract Big Bad Brian. So whatever was said or done; whatever was unsaid or undone during that time, I took to heart."

I thought about all of Justin's actions post-bashing, and could honestly see where I had missed some opportunities to readjust his opinion of himself... And those of me. That kind of negligence allowed for Michael and Lindsay to reinforce his low opinions of himself, as well as allowed a ratty trenchcoat wearing, fiddle-playing fucker to worm his way into Justin's already bruised psyche. As for my own actions... Well...

Those are a little more difficult to explain.

I just wanted us to go back to the way we were before everything went to shit. I wanted US back before Chris Hobbs' bat took away what was supposed to be a perfect night, and a new beginning for us. I wanted to pretend that we were the same Brian and Justin, the two people who could speak volumes inside of the silence, and still get each other. But we weren't the same, and there was nothing I could do to fix what was cracked between us at first, but the exploded into a bunch of unresolved fragments before we even really registered it was happening. But I have to know now...

"Why didn't you ever talk to me about it?"

He snickered. "Fuck, Brian. I can't even believe that you just asked me that. You weren't exactly the poster boy for serious conversations a few months ago. King of avoidance? Absolutely. King of Diversionary Tactics? Definitely. But never a connoisseur of conversation, unless it was some other topic that didn't include us as ‘Brian and Justin- couple.' How was I supposed to broach the subject?"

And you know what? I don't have an answer for him, because he's right. I wasn't willing to open myself up to his close scrutiny. Unlike Michael, Justin wouldn't have talked the subject to death, but he would have wanted answers to some very difficult questions. Even now, I'm not sure what to say to him, or how to answer his last question.

Justin must have figured that out as well, since he's squirming for me to let him up. I do, and all of a sudden, I feel the loss of his body heat even more keenly than I did before. Sadly, it has nothing to do with the fact that I am standing here naked, while watching him redress himself preparing to leave again. But it's that we have now been reduced to stolen moments, and perfunctory pleasure instead of the ease we once had. He had almost made it to the door, when we hear the banging on the loft door, and the screech of my best friend demanding entry.

At first, Justin looks startled, like a deer caught in headlights and I realize immediately what the problem is. Per our agreement, no one is to know of this arrangement. What the fuck are we going to do? If Michael knows, the world knows and based on the level of banging and screeching, there is no way he is going to go away quietly.

Guess I'll have to open up the fucking door.