Chapter 13- The Boy is Mine
The Boy Is Mine
Think it's time we got this straight/ Sit and talk face to face/ There is no way you could
mistake/ Him for your man are you insane
But see I know that you may be/ Just a bit jealous of me/ But you're blind if you can't
see/ That his love is holding me
See I tried to hesitate/ I didn't want to say what he told me/ He said without me he/
couldn't make it/ Through the day, ain't that a shame
But maybe you misunderstood/ 'cause I can't see how he could/ Wanna change
something that's so good/ All my love was all it took (the boy is mine)
Must you do the things you do/ You keep on acting like a fool/ You need to know its
me/ not you/ And if you didn't know it's cause it's true
I think that you should realize/ And try to understand why/ He is a part of my life/ I
know it's killing you inside
You can say what you wanna say/ What we have you can't take/ From the truth you
can't escape/ I can tell the real from the fake
When will you get the picture/ You're the past, I'm the future/ Get away it's my time to
shine/ If you didn't know the boy is mine
You can't destroy this love I've found/ Your silly games I won't allow/ The boy is mine
without a doubt/ You might as well throw in the towel
What makes you think that he wants you/ When I'm the one that brought him to/ The
special place that's in my heart/ He was my love right from the start
You need to give it up/ Had about enough/ It's not hard to see/ The boy is mine/ I'm
sorry that you/ Seem to be confused/ He belongs to me/ The boy is mine/ I'm sorry
that you/ Seem to be confused/ He belongs to me/ The boy is mine!
Songwriters: Brandy Norwood / Fred Jerkins Iii / Japhe Tejeda / Lashawn Daniels /
Lashawn Ameen Daniels / Rodney Jerkins
The Boy Is Mine lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Ethan
I spotted Brian coming out of Justin's room, just as I arrived in the Medical/Surgical unit ward of the hospital. Thankfully, both the hallway and the waiting room were empty as I stepped off the elevator. The last thing I needed was to be halted or assailed by Justin's well-meaning family members. As far as I'm concerned, they are nothing more than parasites and roadblocks to mine and Justin's happily-ever-after. Making my way over to the Nurses' Station, I loudly declared that I have come to see my boyfriend.
"I'm sorry. Mr. Gold, was it?" she asks me.
"Yes, that's right. And I'm here to see my boyfriend, Justin Taylor," I repeated, taking pleasure in the narrowing of the hazel eyes, boring into me from the other side of the hallway. I should have expected that Kinney would make his presence known in this manner. The asshole doesn't have a cordial bone in his body!
Well, if this insignificant nurse would do her job right, I would have been able to bypass Mr. High-and-Mighty Kinney, heading straight into Justin's room. He should have been awake by now to rescind Brian's supposed authority. Fuck, I should have asked Phoebe to accompany me. She would have been able to bypass all this bullshit, since she still volunteers here every now and then. Next time, I'll remember to do that.
Nancy
His arrogant, and demanding demeanor was not lost on me. I huffed out a sigh, as I am already late ending my shift due to my damn replacement running late. Needless to say, I am not in the mood for this drama, just shortly after eight in the morning. I cleared my throat, a little smirk ghosting on my lips at the display of machismo between the two battling brunets. Brian is standing there as arrogant as I remembered him from a little more than two years ago.
The man always looked as if he had ice water running through his veins, except for when he looked at that blond young man, sleeping peacefully behind the closed door.
Yes, I remembered him well, and spent last night catching up with the man I knew from Justin's first visit to Allegheny General Hospital. The real man behind the uncaring facade that he showed the world at large, was always surprising to behold. I found that there was a whole lot more to the man than I think anyone knows or suspects. Except perhaps for Justin, himself. After being brought up to speed about Justin's progress from his initial discharge until now, I steered the conversation into what I remembered was dangerous territory the first time I had gotten curious about Brian Kinney, and his relationship with Justin Taylor.
Surprisingly, this time Brian was very forthcoming. He told me of the first night he had met Justin, and of the actual events leading up to Justin being bashed by Chris Hobbs- a young man who I'd known for many years and still couldn't stand. And that intense dislike goes for both him, and his asshole father. Brian told me of Justin's return home and the advent of the panic attacks; how frequent and horrible they were, often in conjunction with the night terrors, which continued to torment the young man. But what surprised me the most was Brian's honesty about the real reason the young man standing in front of me was claiming to be Justin's boyfriend, even as Brian still held Justin's medical proxy and power of attorney.
Brian had let Justin go, so that the young man would never regret being with a man twelve years older than him. He let Justin go to experience the fairy tale all parents told their children about relationships and happily-ever-afters. He wanted Justin to learn the difference between actions and mere words. And from what I could see when we sat conversing in the still quiet of the hallways as patients- including Justin Taylor- slept, letting Justin go had cost Brian more than anyone ever knew. It still did.
As I sat there listening to him with non-judgemental hearing, I was again reminded of the man who stood outside of the young man's room night-after-night, looking in on Justin. But who never even entered the small space, to comfort his young lover; another highly-paid punishment for both of them, it seemed. Reeking of alcohol, I always recognized pain management when I saw it. Most people, including me, had self-medicated in the same way, so I never held him in contempt. In fact, I think I understood better than most, since I had done the same when my children died from injuries related to a car accident, years before I ever met Brian Kinney.
Twins- a boy and a girl from my ex-husband and me, perished because of a drunk driver who careened into their limo on their way to the afterparty given at their friend's house. So imagine my surprise when the ambulances pulled up outside of the emergency room where I was working as a Trauma Nurse that night, only for me to see Vince and Vanessa, lying there with all manner of tubes coming from them, blood everywhere on their motionless bodies, two separate gurneys which each held a piece of my soul that would never be returned to me again. Tragedy was tragedy, no matter the outcome, and some people handled it better than others. For the others, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam were insta-healers... Well at least, they were noise killers, if only for a little while.
So no, I didn't and wouldn't judge Brian then, and I wouldn't now.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Gold, but you're not on the list to see Mr. Taylor. I'm sure that you are aware of the reason Mr. Taylor was brought in last night, since I saw you having a moment- or a better description would be a tantrum- in the waiting room amongst his other family and friends. Because of the nature of the ongoing investigation, only people on the patient's list on file are allowed to see him."
Ethan narrowed his eyes at me, then turned to Brian, who stood with a nonchalant look on his face. "Fix this shit, Kinney! You know that I have every right to be with Justin, whereas you don't. This is just another of your ploys to get Justin back!"
Brian laughed, really laughed at Ethan. "If I really wanted him back, this is the last place I would pick to wage a suit. Although it does have a certain ambiance for nostalgic purposes, don't you think?"
"That's not funny."
"It wasn't meant to be."
"Look. I realize that right now you hold all the cards, so I'm asking you. Let me in to see my boyfriend!"
"Again, the answer is no. Justin needs rest, and like it or not, I'm going to see that he gets it."
"You can't stop me!"
"Same old argument, huh Ian? Well, from my point of view, and from that of the law, I'm doing just that." Brian shrugged at me, and then looked back at the young man in front of him. "I do believe that Nurse Nancy explained it all to you. Were any of the words particularly difficult for you to understand?" Brian enunciated slowly to the greasy man.
Ethan got into Brian's face, and I wanted to pop the little fucker myself for causing such a scene. I was actually surprised Brian didn't when the little man spoke again.
"Listen, Kinney. Justin is no longer interested in the Whore of Babylon! So why don't you go crawl into a bottle somewhere, and leave me to take care of Justin. If you had taken care of him before, he wouldn't be with me now!"
I watched as Brian's nostrils flared a little, before he exhaled a calming breath. "As usual, you are so thick, Ian. You don't, and never did, have the power to steal Justin away from me. And whatever your opinion of me, it doesn't matter, because the person who does matter is laying in the bed within that room, which you are not going into."
"He's mine, Kinney! You would do well to remember that! When he is discharged from here, he's coming home to me! And I will make sure that this proxy, or power of attorney, or whatever, is revoked immediately! Justin and I are together and we will be together. You can't give him what he wants. You never did, and you never could!"
"Is that right?"
"It must be because I'm the one he's with, not you!"
"And you know Justin so much better than I do, is that it?"
"Yes! I know his heart and mind; we share the same soul. You don't even have a soul, but if you did there's no doubt it would be buried in the ass of one in however many thousands of men you've fucked."
Brian laughed again, adding applause. "Wow, Ian. It's amazing that you are able to keep up with my sex life as well as you are. Could it be because you don't have one of your own?"
I could tell, even from where I'm sitting, that Brian's question hit its mark. I almost feared that I would have to call security, because the young man looked as if he wanted to scratch Brian's eyes out. Thankfully, he thought better of going up against that lion of a man.
"Justin and my sex life is none of your business!"
"And neither is mine and Justin's life- before, during, or after you- any of yours. Shouldn't you be running along to class now? I hear there is a really big music competition coming up. My company- or should I say former company, since I've started my own- is one of the sponsors funding it. So saying, they don't, nor do I, like to waste money or time. Unlike them, I've already expended way too much of my valuable time and words on you."
"This isn't over, Kinney!"
"Sure, it is."
"You're not going to have Justin back. I won't let you!"
"As if you can stop it."
"You want to make a bet on it?"
"I don't need to. You should hurry, though. I remember just how much the professors at PIFA get pissed when their students are late. After all, I lived with one of said students."
I watched as Ethan Gold hurried to the elevator, looking back with narrowed eyes at his nemesis. Brian's countenance didn't waver in its arrogance, even donning a small smirk to add to his smoldering good looks. God above, why isn't this man straight?! But then again, thank God he isn't. No woman's heart would be safe from the alluring, captivating, and towering brunet.
That type of magnetism isn't something that is bought, but cultivated and honed to perfection. Sadly for Ethan Gold, it is a presence that he will never possess. No, Brian had not lied to Ethan, saying that he could have Justin back if he wanted to. I have the feeling that the incomparable Mr. Kinney is just simply biding his time. And honestly, from what I've seen of Mr. Ethan Gold, Brian will not have to wait long for Justin to come home to roost; no, he won't wait long at all!
He saunters back into the room with Justin just as I rise up out of my chair. My replacement has just arrived and you know what? I'm not pissed at her anymore. Her tardiness has afforded me a floor show worthy of Jerry Springer- well without the physical altercations, although that was a close call. I give her a rundown of all the patients to be seen and treated, as well as advising her that they all have already had their morning meds.
I also inform her of Justin Taylor's allowed visitors list, and what transpired only minutes before she showed up. I know she'll know what to do from there, so I take my leave. As I'm walking by Justin Taylor's room, I am not surprised at what I see. Brian has climbed into bed next to the young man, and even though his back his facing the door, I know that Justin is awake. I can't hear what they are saying, but I know that Brian's presence is soothing him in a way that even the good drugs can't do.
Justin's slight hand is caressing the length of Brian's arm as the older man's hand that is splayed in Justin's hair makes its descent to the bare skin of his back. Brian pulls him close, and inhales deeply as if Justin is some sort of lifeline. And perhaps he is; maybe they both are that to each other. After a while of observing them, I almost feel like an intruder. Even when they are doing nothing but laying still and talking quietly, it still feels intimate and explosive all at the same time.
It reminds me of what my ex-husband and I used to have before the kids died, eight years ago. I think maybe it's time to give my Norman a call. He seems to think that there is still a chance for us to restore our lives together. After seeing Brian and Justin, I realize that in spite of it all- all the hardships and heartache- I want that for myself, again. I can only hope that Norman is right.
Ben
I woke up this morning, my arm automatically reaching for Michael. Usually at some point during the night, we end up either spooning or he's literally all over me in the bed, with me lying on a small corner somewhere. As I lay there and shift, trying to feel the warmth where his body should be, my sleep-shrouded mind plays back the events of last night to provide me with the answers to ‘Where is Michael?' I still can't believe the animosity Michael has towards Justin; the animosity with which he'd spoken the words that caused all the uproar at Mel and Lindsay's party, several weeks ago.
How could he wish someone dead like that? What happened to the compassionate man I fell in love with, all those months ago? It makes me question my judgement in what I believed I saw in him in the first place. If Michael can manage to turn like that on someone he once thought of as a friend and has known longer than me, then what the fuck does he think and say about me when I'm not around to hear him? It's definitely not a comforting thought, especially coming from another situation in which I trusted a man I thought to be my partner, and was thoroughly betrayed, resulting in me having HIV.
I can't go back to that feeling of hurt and helplessness again, not even if it means that I have to be without Michael.
I take care of my morning ablutions, washing yesterday's anger from my mind as I wash last night's sweat from my body. I come out of the shower, smelling the fresh aroma of french roast coffee, thankful that I had the forethought to splurge on a coffeemaker with an automatic timer. It was a great investment since I no longer have to stand around waiting for the old one to percolate, before I get my requisite dose of liquid sanity. As soon as I'm dressed I head downstairs, pour the egg whites in a pan and scramble them up, pop my whole wheat toast in the toaster and fix myself a quick breakfast sandwich. I barely manage to grab my travel mug as I look at the time and pick up my bookbag to head out the door for work.
I have an early meeting with one of my students, who is taking an early leave of the semester, and I can't be late since she has a doctor's appointment during our regularly scheduled class. As I'm driving to work, I think about the girl I'd met a little more than a year ago. Taryn Charles was one of the sweetest young women I would have ever wanted to meet. I often wondered why she wasn't born back in my straight days. Who knows, if I had met someone like her before I admitted that I was actually a gay man, maybe I would have happily lived my life in the closet with her.
But then again maybe not, since she's a lesbian herself. I worried for her when she told me that she had come out to her homophobic parents and they had put her out. I remembered taking her to the GLC for the first time, and introducing her to Lindsay. I could tell that they were going to be friends, since Taryn and Lindz had a lot in common. Both were born within a world where money talked, and you either fell in line or you got cut off.
Taryn had chosen to get cut off when her parents ordered her to marry the man who just happened to be Justin's attacker at the high school prom. The only thing that saved her the fate of having to marry Chris Hobbs was her finally admitting to her parents that she was a lesbian. The fact that she was older than Chris by a few years wouldn't have made a difference since her mother was older than her father. So, since she was already paid up through her second year of college, her father told her that she had to find a new place to live, and pay for the rest of her education; that he wouldn't support a girl who couldn't obey her parents wishes and be an asset to her family as she was raised to be. So that's the story with her, but now she's pregnant and once again, I can't help but worry for her.
I greet her as I open my office door. I swear she looks about double the size than when I saw her last week. "How are you feeling this morning, Taryn?"
"I'm doing okay, Professor Bruckner. Just can't wait to get these little babies out and to their rightful owners so that I can have my lungs and kidneys back."
I laugh. "I'll bet. Looking at you, makes me happy I wasn't born a woman."
"I know, but the men I'm having them for kind of makes up for it. I love a good love story, so anything I can do to help those guys while they help me, is an honor." she beamed with happiness, and I can tell that she means what she says.
"So tell me how you found these guys." I can't deny that I'm really interested in her story.
Michael and I were talking about adopting Hunter, the little hustler who has been staying with us from time-to-time. But Michael is still adamantly against the idea of Hunter becoming a more permanent fixture in our household. He said that if he was going to have children, he wanted them to be his. I guess I could understand why he would feel that way. Until I met Hunter and had gotten to know him, I had given up on any chance that I would ever have to be a dad to someone's kid.
So it doesn't really matter to me if Hunter and I are related, biologically or not. We basically share blood since we just found out he's positive, too. He's been staying with Deb and Vic, until I can convince Michael to let me take him in.
"It was actually Lindsay, who introduced me to him. I haven't actually met the partner yet, but according to Michael, he and his husband are working out their problems so that they can raise the children together."
"How long have they been together?"
"Since they were fourteen, but they only just became exclusive a few months ago. Then there was this other guy for awhile. I think Michael calls him 'the twink, who wouldn't leave his husband alone' but he said that he and Lindsay made the gold digger leave Brian. He never did tell me how, even though I asked for future reference. But anyway, now he and Michael are all good again."
I felt the bile beginning to rise in my throat, as she rambled on. It had to be a coincidence of some sort, because I know there is no way in hell that Brian would have ever crossed that line with Michael, MY HUSBAND. Or should I say the man whom I considered to be my husband, up until this very moment.
"Professor Bruckner, are you okay? Do you need some water or anything?" She moved to get up, but I stop her.
"No Taryn, I'm okay. I'm just a bit stunned that this came at such a fortuitous time for you, or that Lindsay knew someone who would be willing to help you out of your situation. How much is this Michael..." I'm hoping that she says any other last name, but his.
"Novotny. Michael Novotny," she says, smiling at me. I smile back politely, when I'm feeling anything but.
"How much is Mr. Novotny paying you to help his husband... what was his name again?"
"I think he said his name was Brian... Kinney? Yes, that's it! Brian Kinney. I kept feeling awful about not remembering the guy's name. You see I've been reading in all the baby books that it's good to talk to the baby, while it's in the womb. I know I won't be a part of their lives, so I decided to talk to them about their dads instead."
I nod even as I sit here and try to get my head around this betrayal. I can't believe that Michael would do something so fucking underhanded as this! "That's a good thing to do, Taryn. So he's paid your tuition then?"
"A bit more than that, actually. He gave me seventy-five thousand, which is enough for school, Graduate school and an apartment in a nice part of town, until I can find a job to keep up with the rent. Since I'm getting a degree in International Business, it should be fairly easy to do. Plus, he's paid for the original procedure, and all of my checkups to date. The doctor told me last week that there is a good possibility that I will deliver early, because there's more than one baby. So I could probably be back in time for finals, or at the start of next semester." Gay Studies for her was an elective course, but has served her well this far into her curriculum. With the advent of Rage being able to go mainstream and the passing of the law allowing gays to get married, being newly out herself will only help her career ambitions further.
"Don't worry about it too much, Taryn," I assure her. "I'm sure that your other professors will forgive the absences. I mean, it's not like they would disobey doctor's orders in this case or any other, if the shoe was on the other foot. You just concentrate on remaining healthy, both before and after this."
She nodded, and then got down to the business of what was going to be covered in today's class. After she was gone I sat there, still fuming about what my so called partner has been up to. I can't believe the shit that he has been pulling. And where the fuck did he get that kind of mo--- Oh my God! Justin's money?!!! He paid Taryn with Justin's money?! I jump out of the seat, trying to calm myself down and trying not to think about the amount of time in jail I can get for murdering Michael, when my office phone rings. Looking at the caller ID, I have to admit that her timing is impeccable.
"Good Morning, Mel. How are you?"
"I'm fine. I have the information you asked me for about Hunter. You're kinda in luck because my colleague just left to go represent Rita Montgomery, in court."
"Rita Montgomery... Rita Montgomery? No, it doesn't sound familiar."
"It probably wouldn't, unless you mention it to James Hunter Montgomery, her son."
"Wait! That's Hunter's mother? I thought he said that she was in jail for murder."
"He probably thinks that she was. He ran away about a year ago, after she stabbed his father with a kitchen knife. Because he had a history of domestic violence against Rita, she was able to claim self-defense. Ironically, they never tested her for drug abuse. It's just our luck that she was arrested during a drug bust last night, and is as high as four kites right now."
I smile at that bit of news. Hopefully, that means they will let me adopt Hunter. "Will they make her sign her rights away, at this point?"
"I'll let you know about that after I do some more digging into Rita Montgomery's background. I know that Hunter was in placed into foster care before, but she was able to get him back from the State, just before she began prostituting him out. It could be a cut-and-dry matter, unless she decides to fight you on it."
"Okay, that's good news... well at least, moderately so. But listen, you and I need to get together. Are you free for lunch?"
"Actually, I was going to go see Justin during lunch."
"That's even better, since I know where his money has been going."
"Oh? How do you know? Has Michael finally told you?"
"No, but the surrogate mother of his and Brian's children did."
"What the fuck are you talking about, Ben? Have you been drinking on the job? Lindsay isn't pregnant, and certainly not for Michael!"
"I know all of that, but apparently your wife knows more about this than anyone else, except Michael. I just had a very interesting meeting with my student, who just happens to be pregnant with babies that my partner paid for."
She's silent for a time before she speaks again. "Ben, what does Lindsay have to do with this? In plain English, if you please?"
I close my eyes as I relate all of the conversation between Taryn and myself to Melanie. I can tell by the harsh breathing across the phone line that she is having the same rage-filled reactions I had trouble controlling just moments before when Taryn was telling me the story of Brian and Michael's romance. When I finish, I ask her, "So what are you thinking, Mel?"
"I can't even describe what I think right now, Ben, as I'm sitting here in my law office wondering how I can get away with murder. But I think that I have a much better idea."
"And that is?"
"We need to go to the hospital now. Can you get someone to cover your classes?"
"No it's too late for me to do so, but lunch will still work for me since I'm free after that."
"Good. I'll have my secretary clear the rest of my day as well. In the meantime, I think I shall be calling that bitch I live with, and asking her to run a few errands for me. It's times like this I'm glad Brian and I found a way to coexist, without either of us being excluded from Gus' life. He still holds his rights and thanks to third-party adoption, I have the same rights as the two of them."
I wasn't aware of that, but I think it's great and tell her so. "So what should we do about Michael?"
"He hasn't been to your house this morning?"
"He wasn't when I left, but I don't know if he's been there since."
"Okay. Well don't be too concerned about him, for the moment. I think my client, namely Justin Taylor, will give me some idea of how far he wants to take this, now that apparently Brian is about to have another child- children- and this time against his will."
"Why would Justin have a say in that?"
"Because I suspect that Brian and Justin are still more than friends, although I can't prove it. But regardless of that, it was Justin's money that paid for Michael to have the privilege to play daddy."
The venom in her voice catches me by surprise. "You think there is more to this, don't you?"
"Yes, I do. Let's just say that Lindsay is a little more invested in Taryn Charles' health and well-being than that of a concerned friend and mother-figure. And one thing I am absolutely sure of, is that there is no way in hell Lindsay would ever let some other broad have Brian Kinney's baby."
"What are you saying, Mel?"
I am intrigued, in spite of myself, by the way she thinks. I'm just a regular guy, and would never be thinking that it could happen any other way, except that Taryn's body released its eggs and the sperm went in to do what it does. Outside of basic biology in terms of women's anatomy, I really don't want to know or envision it. Or better yet, I don't even think I could imagine it if I actually did want to... Again, this situation with Taryn reminds me of why I like being a man.
"There are many factors to being inseminated, Ben. There, of course, is the requisite sperm and egg. But if someone else is being inseminated, other than the natural parents... let's say like a surrogate, the sperm and egg are matched until they take creating a zygote. Then it is implanted in the womb to grow. Therefore the egg doesn't necessarily have to come from the same woman's body that will carry the baby."
"You mean you think Lindsay used her eggs?"
"It's the only way to guarantee that Taryn has no legal claim to the children after birth. Basically, she is just the incubator."
"Why would you think that again, Mel? You never really said." I'm in shock at that the depths of depravity Michael and Lindsay would sink to, and all for a chance to entrap Brian Kinney.
"Yes, I did. Whereas Michael wouldn't care who the mother is as long as it's his and Brian's sperm that gets him Brian Kinney's child, Lindsay is greedy and territorial in so many ways. She would never, EVER, let someone else bear Brian's child, if she could help it. If Taryn is pregnant with two babies, you can bet your last dollar that not only were Lindsay's eggs used, but Michael may or may not be one of the children's fathers. Lindsay has access to Brian's loft the same way Michael does, or should I say did. Brian changed the locks and codes some weeks ago."
"I think we better have the rest of this conversation with Brian and Justin, at the hospital. I have to get through classes, but will meet up with you later. If you get there before I do, don't start without me. No way I'm missing the fireworks your theory is going to bring."
I hear Mel chuckle on the other end. Even though both of us are hurting in our own ways, we still have to find the humor in this, otherwise we'll explode. "I won't," she tells me.
As we say our goodbyes and hang up, I move around to the picture of Michael's smiling face that I have on my desk. I caress it gently, thinking of all the hope and dreams I had with this man for my future. I realize now that I was nothing more than a placeholder to him, and now Michael will become less than that to me. He will be nothing! I take his picture and tear it to shreds, before dumping the pieces of my broken dream into the wastebasket.
I call the janitor, asking him to remove the garbage from my office and head out to my class before I have a moment to rethink my decision. Michael and I are history, but I'm gratified to know that soon Brian will be a part of his history, too.