CHAPTER 20.3: Refugio De Amor ( You are my Home) Vanessa Williams and Chayanne- The FIRST Date Part 3

Toda mi vida / He estado buscando / Para alguien que me encuentre / He estado buscando / Esperando por sus brazos / Para tirar de mí / Usted me tomó / In del frío / Y de la oscuridad / Usted me ha tomado / Into tu corazón
Coro / Tú eres mi hogar / Tú eres el que yo vengo / Eres el refugio al que corro / Para mantenerme a salvo del frío / Tú eres mi hogar / Tú eres el amor / eso me completa / Eres el toque / Que me ha liberado / Me miro en tus ojos / Y sé que / Tú eres mi hogar
Eres la luz en la ventana / Cuando no pude encontrar mi camino / Llevaste mi corazón a / Quiero que me coloquen / Aquí además de ti / Tú estás donde siempre estaré / Tú eres donde pertenezco / Tengo Estado buscando por ti / por tanto tiempo
Usted es mi hogar / Usted es el que yo vengo a / Usted es el refugio que corro / Para mantenerme seguro del frío / Usted es mi hogar / Usted es el amor / que me completa / Usted es el toque / Que Me ha liberado / me veo en tus ojos / Y sé / tú eres mi hogar / Y nunca estaré solo

Coro
Bebé bebé
Bebe tu eres mi hogar
Te miro en tus ojos
Te miro a los ojos
Y me haces sentir
Bebé bebé bebé bebé
Tu eres mi hogar
Tu eres mi hogar

All of my life/ I been searching/ For someone to find me/ I have been looking/ Waiting for your arms/ To pull Me/ You took Me/ In from the cold/ And out of the dark/ You have taken Me/ Into your heart

Chorus/ You are my home/ You are the one that I come to/ You are the shelter I run to/ To keep Me safe from the cold/ You are my home/ You are the love/ that completes me/ You are the touch/ That has freed Me/ I look in your eyes/ And I know/ You are my home

You were the light in the window/ When I couldn't find my way/ You led my heart to/ Want them to place me/ Here besides you/ You are where I always will be/ You are where I belong/ I've been looking for you/ For so long

You are my home/ You are the one that I come to/ You are the shelter I run to/ To keep Me safe from the cold/ You are my home/ You are the love/ that completes me/ You are the touch/ That has freed Me/ I look in your eyes/ And I know/ You are my home/ And I'll never be alone

A DAY TO REMEMBER

BRIAN

After finally getting Justin out of the house and away from his new guy-pal Gene, we were on the way to our destination. Really, it's the first of two places. Many that know me could never imagine this since I always project a been there, done that attitude about or on pretty much everything. So when I was speaking to George earlier, he suggested the one thing that I never would have considered if left completely to my own devices while planning this date. That's right, Brian Kinney has never been to an amusement park in his entire life.

Being Jack and Joan's kid didn't exactly inspire these types of field trips. Whenever my class at school would have a field trip to one, I was made to stay home from school that day. Jack wasn't even big on leaving us with barely enough money to buy groceries, so let alone actually have fun with other people. When I would brood about it without saying a word, I was slapped for the silent treatment I was giving. Then slapped again for talking when he asked what was wrong with me, and finally told to shut up before I really got something to cry about.

Yeah... So amusement parks, in words or deeds, were definitely not part of my life. By the time I could go without the parental permission, I was too busy working my ass off to be the best at my job, and building my reputation as King Cock to have time for a childish dream or a teenage adventure into the land wishful thinking. Now though... Now I'm here with Justin, who has probably been to a million of these things, but still looks at it all as if it's his first time.

Every experience with him is fresh and new. And no matter how much he does it, he's always excited, as if the experience will be so much different than the last time. It's that one quality that I've always appreciated about him and what keeps me hooked and high on him more than any drug Anita has ever cooked up in her cousin from Tijuana's bathroom. I often teased him about being a dreamer. But in retrospect, I guess he would have to be.

After all, he's here with me and I've broken one of my most concrete rules for him. I came after him. And now we are about to embark on an adventure, I never would want to take with anyone else... Except perhaps Gus.

"What are we doing here?" Justin asks me, with that megawatt smile on his face. Already I see the wonder in his eyes, as he alternates between the view of the rollercoaster and looking at me.

"Would you believe me if I told you I was a virgin?"

"Yeah, right. Brian, I don't think there is any part of you that is virgin except perhaps the inside of your ear. Wait... you haven't done that have you?"

I look at him with an eyebrow raised, while he is scrutinizing me closely, as if really trying to guess if my Freak-O-Meter has caused me to try cumming in someone's ear. Suddenly both of us burst out laughing, the goofiness of the thought and moment as natural as breathing for both of us. And you know what? It feels so fucking good to just sit here and laugh like a teenaged hyena with him, completely sane and sober. This is something that I would never be able to do with Michael or Lindsay, without being stoned off my ass.

Again, I have to marvel at the difference between my friendship with Justin, and those with people I have called my friends for years. This has been one of the things I've missed the most with Justin. The ability to laugh at the foolish, or the mundane and to not have every word that comes out of my mouth analyzed and misconstrued intentionally to make him feel better, is so uniquely US. Sure, lately we've had lapses in communication during serious times, which led to a lack of these comical moments. But I think if we'd had more of these stuff-and-nonsense occurrences, that perhaps the more serious matters between us wouldn't have gotten so out of hand.

So, note to self: Have more of this immediately and make an effort to have at least one hijinx moment with Justin Taylor each day for as long as this lasts. It may not last forever, but it won't be for lack of trying on both of our parts.

We alight from the car, and he's practically bouncing on his toes already. His blue eyes are sparkling brighter than stars in the darkest sky. His face is reading of pure pleasure, and he hasn't even ridden anything yet, including me. I only think of that last part because of the contrast in his countenance when he's in pleasure seeking mode. Right now I'm having trouble deciding when he is more beautiful: when he's free as he is right now or is it when he's both my predator and my prey.

I shake myself out of my reverie, knowing that there is absolutely no way to decipher which way I prefer him. I think that means that I'll take him any way I can get him.

"So what did you mean that you were a virgin, Brian?"

I take his hand as we walk to the entrance gate. There's a line, but it should move relatively quickly since it's still pretty early in the day. "This may come as a shock to you, but there is one thing I've never done in my vast experience of world-weariness. I've never been to a place like this."

His look of disbelief says it all, and suddenly I feel shy. I know that I'm about to say something asshole-ish, but he stops me with a kiss. It was very brief. However, the soft press of his lips convey a series of messages that my befuddled brain barely registers, but my long-ago-thought-dead heart discerns right away even before he speaks the thoughts aloud.

"I wish I could dig up Jack, and kill his ass again for depriving you of the simple pleasure of flying without wings on the swings, or racing against the wind using the wheels of a rollercoaster, or even feeling like the tallest person in the world as you're sitting at the top of the ferris wheel. I could still kill Joan, for being such a weak bitch in all aspects, and not simply because she fell off the Holier-than-Thou train long enough to have an affair, which may or may not have resulted in the magnificent creature before me. But I won't do any of those things, for one simple reason..."

"What?" I whisper, standing as close as I can without pressing my body fully against him. If I do that, we'll be ending this adventure before it even starts because I'll drag him back to the car and fuck him within a centimeter of his life. I can't help but feel lost in his eyes the way he's focused on me, as if he knows exactly what it feels like to be caught in his snare. I can feel the effort I'm making to slow my racing heart and control my exhalations; I can see the same reaction in his eyes as well.

"Because it's given me the chance to make a memory that is just ours, Brian. I'm the first person you're going to ride a rollercoaster with; the first person whose hand you'll hold on the ferris wheel, or taste cotton candy with. The only person you'll ever have the first experience of playing Bumper Cars with. It almost makes me feel giddy and like..."

"Like what?"

He smiles at me, and I swear there are tears in his eyes. Or maybe it's just the way the sun is reflecting in them? I still can't be sure, even as he says, "Like it will be just like my first time, too. In a huge sense it is, since you're the first guy that I like who I'm experiencing all this with. I couldn't stand my cousins, or the idiots at summer camp."

"So I guess that makes you a virgin in your own right too, then?" I can't help but smile at that thought.

"I guess so."

I grab his hand and lead us to the gate. I can already hear the screams from the people on the rollercoaster, and although there is a little apprehension at being one of them, there is also something else I don't remember feeling except one time before in my life. It was on the night of Justin's prom, as I spun him around in the middle of the dance floor, it was then that I received my first taste of unadulterated joy. As short lived as it was, it's a feeling that I never thought to feel again, but am welcoming that feeling right now. And as I look at Justin, with his sparkling eyes and wide bright smile, I know that I'm not alone in it.  

We get our tickets, and decide where we're going first. Justin said that we should start out slow, and build up to the rollercoaster. Since I'm an amateur, I follow his lead to the bumper cars. As we wait in line, I'm actually amazed at how fast it moves. He explains that there are usually not more than twenty cars out at any given time, which I found a little strange since the floor is actually littered with them.

I hear the laughter and playfully-worded threats coming from participants, even as Justin and I stand there making fun of many of them. Whereas I always equated fun with sex of some sort, I have to admit that the platonic display and atmosphere of camaraderie is in a word... Enchanting. Finally it was our turn and although I was loathe to do it, Justin and I separated to get cars on opposite sides of the slippery-floored arena. The whistle blew and the cars started to light up while in the background Prince's "Pheromone" blasted the from the speakers in the corner.

Talk about irony, or in this case, art imitating life... I can't help but laugh as I begin to hunt for my partner, even while I'm being bumped around by the other drivers; can't help but think of this as a type of foreplay as I look around for him. Although there are a million blonds in here, I only need to find one and I'll know the minute I spot him. There... there he is, with the back of his car to me.

Justin is sandwiched between two other drivers, who look as if they are hitting on him by the way he is shaking his head and laughing at whatever they're saying to him. The scene is a little reminiscent of his first night at Babylon, when he took my evening's entertainment away from me with a gyrating ass and a come-hither smile. I steer the car in his direction, keeping him firmly in my sights. Finally, gunning the pedal, I let the car careen into him. I hear the gasp and gusty sigh escape him, even as he whips his head around to face me.

I know there is a smirk on my face, when I see him reach for the downshift to send his own bumper car into reverse. He moves back into me while I send my own car forward again to meet him. The eye contact between us never disconnecting, we continue ramming into each other. I know my thoughts of this particular activity, and its metaphorical meaning, are as clear to him as his are to me. Who the fuck ever thought Bumper Cars could be so fucking hot?

But then again, since fucking is fun to me, it would stand to reason that anything which gives me a chance to ram into Justin would be also. I think both of us are a little unhappy when the ride ends. Next we head over to the swings where an old Whispers song is playing. "And the Beat Goes On," brings back some of my fondest childhood memories- as few and far between as they were. When my uncle came to visit, he taught me a little about old school R&B music, and how it often provided answers to relationships that we would never think to look for.

I thought the lessons were strange, at first. But now that I'm an adult, I understand what he was telling me with this song in particular. I must have heard this song blasting through the speakers on 80's night within Babylon a million times! But it was never more important than when Justin left me for the fiddlefuck. It hurt like hell to pick myself up and dust myself off.

I threw myself into work, work, and more work. Whether it was starting Kinnetik and acquiring Babylon, or fucking, I had to reclaim myself. The irony of actually listening to the words again was that it was the only other way I could tell what- or more importantly who- was missing from my life. Although I always found ways to tend to business even during leisure hours, the unexpected advent of a little blond twink under a streetlamp helped me to put it all in perspective; taught me how to have fun that didn't always involve being buried in someone else's ass; that it was okay to just be for a little while when no one was looking, or even if they were. So listening to it now, while holding his hand on an amusement park ride, drove home what Justin had wanted from me.

But more importantly, it's cementing what I want from him and for myself now. I'll still be the same hard and driven man I've always been, the same overachiever who will always want more and more success. But no longer will I be the man, who keeps chasing the ghost of Jack Kinney looking for approval that will never come. Then when I come home, I'll still be the man that loves Justin Taylor. And I'll be who is loved above all by my Sunshine in return.

"What lesbianic thoughts are running through your head?" Justin asks me.

"Quick! Touch my dick, make sure it's still there," I respond to his laughter. "Seriously, I'm just trying to figure out why we haven't done this sooner."

"Other than your reputation?"

"Well there is that, Sunshine. But seriously, why haven't we?" The rise and fall of the swing is soothing, and exciting at the same time. I really can't believe I'm having fun on such a subdued ride.

He shrugs. "I never thought you would want to go to Kennywood with me, so I never asked."

"Why not?"

"I... I just didn't think I could handle the rejection, Brian. We haven't exactly been in a good place for awhile now."

I couldn't argue with him there. "And now?"

He smiles at me and I swear it rivals the sun. "We're getting there."

"Through heartbreak, trials, tribulation, and interfering idiots, yeah... we're getting there."

He puts his head on my shoulder for the rest of the ride, nuzzling the hot spot behind my ear as I lean into him as much as I'm able. All I can think is that I can't wait to kiss him properly. As if he hears me, he suggests the Ferris Wheel as the next ride. When the Wave Swing stops, we head there.

"You have to get used to the height if you're going to do the rollercoaster, without a nosebleed or throwing up."

"Justin, how many plane rides have I taken?"

"I know, but this is a bit different. 33,000 feet in a fully closed vehicle is a helluva lot different from 330 feet and open. Believe it or not, a rollercoaster can cause more panic," he tells me in that PSA voice he uses when he's educating me. "Do you trust me?"

"I guess since I've never done this before, I have to."

"That's right, you do," he says, as he steps into the already swinging parachute-shaped contraption.

I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the slightest bit of apprehension course through my veins, when the door closed. The compartment wasn't very roomy like on a plane. In fact, I would say that the bathroom on a plane was bigger! But the one plus about this whole experience, was that it put Justin in close proximity. We began our ascension, only to be stopped every few moments.

To say that I was losing patience, would be an understatement. But Justin told me it was to let other patrons on. Still though... Justin decided that now was as good a time as any to distract me, and get me back to on track to relaxing and having fun. And what can I say, except that my man is a genius!

Placing himself firmly on my lap, Justin positioned his leg to stroke my burgeoning erection even as the parachute swung delicately back and forth. Staring into my eyes, he pressed his lips, gently at first and then firmly, against my own. I could feel excitement of a different kind- familiar and forceful- assailing me as Justin kept pecking my lips. For every stop on the way to the top, Justin would give me full-tongue action. Part of me wishes we would never reach the top of the fucking Ferris Wheel so that he would just keep wrapping his tongue around mine.

By the time we did reach the top, I know I was hot and bothered. But Justin called a halt to the activity, so that I could fully absorb the view. I have to admit that seeing the entire park from this height was absolutely amazing. The buildings off in the distance look like dollhouses, and the people resemble ants racing to and fro. The oceanview on the other side of the park, where the rollercoaster is, looks vast and dangerous, with the blue and white waves crashing ashore.

Seeing the tops of the other rides and booths is kind of surreal.

"Kinda feels like you're on top of the world, doesn't it?" Justin asks me, his eyes full of wonder and I know already that he's taken a mental picture of the scenery.

"Yeah, it does," is all I can say in response. But then something else occurs to me to say. "But I think the view I have up close and personal is far better."

He blinks twice in quick succession at me, the blush creeping upon his cheeks. Justin swallows hard, but his voice is husky when he speaks. "You've just earned yourself another kiss for now, and the fuck of a lifetime later, Mr. Kinney."

I smile at him, the one I reserve just for the man in my arms. I know he sees it by the catch in his throat, followed by the low growl before he attacks my lips with fervor. I can't tell you how or when we began moving again, only that for the entire descent back to earth, Justin was a hairsbreadth from ripping our clothes off and fucking me right here in the compartment the size of my closet back at the loft. I hear the attendant clear his throat a few times before both Justin and I register that we've reached the bottom and it was time to get off... THE RIDE! 

I swear an amusement parks tagline should be The Ultimate Foreplay!

"If you guys... Well, if you're both willing..." he begins, but I cut him off.

"Sorry. This twink is mine, and I'm not sharing." I almost laugh aloud at the crestfallen look on the guy's face, but Justin's look sobers me. He looks like I just handed him the winning lottery ticket or something. And once again, I'm tempted to check for my balls.

"They're still there," he whispers to me. We both chuckle again before moving away with my arm around his shoulders and his about my waist.

After waiting in line for almost a half an hour, we are finally on the rollercoaster. Justin chose the last car for us to sit in, saying that it's the best. I thought he was weird and told him so. His caustic ‘you'll see why' should have clued me right then and there. We're going up again and I find myself watching, a little scared as the ground gets further and further away.

Shifting in my seat a little, I keep wondering when the fucking thing would stop going up. Justin grabs my face and with one firm kiss, takes my hand and squeezes it. Before I know it we're fucking falling! He's laughing like a loon, even while I feel like the bottom of my stomach has hit the fucking coaster floor! I look over at him, eyes wide, and all I see before the most wicked curve is a view of the vast blue ocean with a wave that looks like it's headed straight for us.

The coaster makes a sharp turn in the opposite direction, which brings my vision straight to the damn ground then right up another fucking hill! OH HELL FUCKING NO! Justin lets go of my hand to put both of his in the air, and I find myself grappling him for it back before the free fall feeling is back again. Justin is laughing loudly while I watch him, face flushed and eyes bright, taking in every sensation unto himself. Fuck!

He's never looked so alive and beautiful except... Except when I fuck him. I know that there is a reason I'm just noticing this look of gratification, but damned if I know what it is. All I do know is that I never want it to end. That look is putting me at ease on this fucking rolling contraption which is hellbent on swinging me around for dear fucking life.

And do you know what... I want to take this particular ride with this man again!

When the ride stops abruptly, Justin asks, "Finished? Ready to go?"

I lick my lips. "Not by half, little boy. Let's do it again." And we do!

A DREAM REALIZED

JUSTIN

So far our ‘date' has been amazing. I can't believe how great it has been to just be together- no drama, no arguments, no angst- just us! I nearly came in my pants when he told that guy that I was his, and he wasn't sharing me. The guy was hot, but I think it was the first time Brian really took my feelings into consideration regarding tricking. It's not that I mind per se; I just mind when he does it without thought or regard to me.

Brian and I have never been conventional, but I won't deny that sometimes, I need to feel like we are.

I think beyond all the rides, the biggest surprise was his response to cotton candy. He actually offered the woman making it three-hundred dollars so that he could have it whenever he wants. Although I think there was a more sexual reason of why he wanted it, than simply because he fell in love with the taste. I think it had more to do with how it melted in his mouth, and the resulting taste in mine. Brian is ever the hedonist, so it would stand to reason that something as pleasurable as the sweet taste must be had by Brian Kinney on a regular basis.

I was floored when he asked me why I had never suggested that we go to Kennywood before. I honestly thought he would either refute what I said or simply disregard it, but he didn't. Instead he processed the answer, and understood where we were in our respective non-relationship. I guess all of the revelations at lunch yesterday really put things into perspective... For both of us.

I just remember feeling that I couldn't ask him to do something so childish because of his reputation, and because of the way I was feeling about myself at the time. I was afraid that he would see it all as reverting, something my cognitive therapist was a bit concerned about at the time. It took a lot of work on both our parts to get me back to being comfortable in my own skin again. But let's face it... My mind was still fucked.

In some ways, it probably still is.

Which reminds me, I really should tell him about these dreams- both awake and asleep. I just don't want to worry him, or disappoint him if my brain is flicking images at me that just aren't true. It happened again while we were at the park, about the fifth time we were on the rollercoaster. In the vision- which is what I've taken to calling them- Brian was holding me and spinning me, like when the last series of sharp curves would whip us around and around as we got closer to the ground, before stopping abruptly at the end. When he'd put me down from the spinning, it felt like Brian was lost in a kiss with me, oblivious to everything else.

He had to shake me hard, to get me out of my own head. When he asked what was with the dopey look on my face, I lied and told him it was just the constant exhilaration from the ride. If he didn't buy it, he never said. We just went to get some cotton candy, before standing in line to ride again. Who knew Brian would turn into a junk-food and adrenaline junkie, all in the same day?

Guess that's what he gets for hanging out with me. So now we're back in George and Malcolm's beach house, getting ready for whatever else he has planned for tonight. I've been hoping he would drop a hint or spill the secret all day, but Brian is being as tight-lipped as always. When he wants you to know, you know. But if he doesn't, not even the threat of tickle-torture will get him to sing!

I've been trying to guess, but the bottom line is, I have no clue what he's up to. I did hear him tell whoever he was talking to on the way back here that we would be on time for our next appointment- wherever the hell that is.

"Did you have fun today?" Gene asks me in french.

"I have to admit, I had an amazing time! Thank you for asking. Brian hasn't mentioned where we're going tonight, has he?"

He smiles at me. "I've already been warned about that innocent look of yours, Mr. Justin, and it won't work. I value my balls... and so does Alphonse. Mr. Brian has threatened the jewels, if we talk. But on a brighter note, we'll be your drivers tonight."

I leave it alone, because I honestly don't want Brian pissed off. Besides, although my curiosity is killing me, I know Brian. When he does something, he never does it halfway. Gene leads me to where my suit is hanging. I have to admit that it looks even more perfect than it did when I tried it on this morning.

I know he's altered it, but the Egyptian blue silk is fucking decadent. I know that Brian will absolutely love it! I run to the shower to wash the day's dirt off me, knowing that tonight there may not be time before Brian and I are finally in bed together. Today has been like a prolonged foreplay. Neither one of us is particularly patient, but he has been more than I am.

Every time I got close to fucking him, or urging him to let all his sudden inhibitions go, he stopped me. It's so tempting to just jerk off, while the soap and water cascades down my body. But like a fool, I promised him that I wouldn't. I've already broken enough promises to Brian. And although this one is a definite hardship, I'll wait.

Stepping out of the shower and drying off, I take care of the rest of my ablutions. I asked Gene to pick me up a bottle of Tommy Bahama for tonight. I like the scent a lot, and yes I am thinking that Brian will not be able to keep his nose out of my neck for the whole night. Gene also got me the lotion and aftershave, which I apply after taking care of my five o'clock shadow. Finally, it's time for me to put on my suit.

Looking at the crispness of the white shirt, I'm hoping that I can keep it absolutely spotless. It isn't everyday I get to wear a shirt, which cost more than all the tips I've ever made working at the diner. Some of my thoughts must have shown on my face, because Gene assures me that the entire suit, shirt included, have been scotch guarded. I know it seems a mundane thing to worry about, but to me it's quite important. Brian and I have fought over money and the amount he spends on me, more than once.

If I can have at least one less worry about it, then I will take it. I'm surprised- although I probably shouldn't be- when Gene fastens the sapphire cufflinks on my shirtsleeves. He tells me that they are a gift from George and Malcolm. I'm tempted to call them, and tell them to take them back. Like the clothes, I'll be worried about them all night, but Gene stops me.

"Accept the gift with good grace, youngster. This is a special night for them, too," Gene says.

"But..."

"No buts, Mr. Justin. Have I mentioned that I have been warned about you?" He raises his eyebrow in a Kinney-esque fashion, and I can't help but giggle.

"Oh alright. But will you please thank them for the loan. I will hand them over the minute I get to Pittsburgh."

Gene just shakes his head at me, before speaking. "Young Master Justin, you have to learn to let people do for you. What makes you think you are not worthy of such extravagance?"

"It's not that, Gene. I just like to earn it," I tell him, quietly.

"I'll let you in on a little secret, mon chere petit. You already have. You didn't see Mr. Brian's face when he came here to California. He was wound tight as- how do you say- a stringbow?"

"A bowstring," I answer and snicker. Instead of being offended, Gene laughs loudly.

"You all and your Americanisms! I still have much to learn, as does Alphonse. But my point is that, he was worried. He never said, but Alphonse and I could tell. With you here with him though, the light is back in his eyes. He is a different man than he was a mere two days ago. You did that for him."

I think about what he's saying, and I suppose he's right. I've often thought that I didn't give Brian anything, that what he'd given me was worth more than a million times what anyone else ever has. But apparently, I've given Brian something worth more than money... Well at least to him, it is. I've given Brian the freedom to be himself.

I guess when I look at it that way, my gift to him is priceless.

I'm finally finished dressing and peering into the mirror, and I have to admit Gene and I chose well. I look fucking HOT in this color. Everything about me, from the blond of my hair to the blue of my eyes does everything to make this suit pop. The artist in me catalogues this exact hue for future use, while the man I am can't wait to see Brian's reaction to it. Amazingly enough, Gene has found shoes the exact same color as my clothes, which somehow makes me look taller and leaner.

Yes, I'm slender, but not as lean as Brian is. But in this perfectly tailored suit, my usual stockiness in comparison has disappeared. The man is a miracle worker when it comes to clothes.

"You like, Mr. Justin?"

"I love it, Gene. Thank you. Brian's going to cream his pants when he sees me in this."

"He better not, or Alphonse will beat me the same color blue you're wearing."

We both laugh at the imagery of the slender and shorter man going against the human mack truck, standing a little off to the right, behind me. "I promise, I'll protect you, Gene. I'll have to, if Brian ever wants me to look like this again."

"I'll hold you to that, Justin."

We exit the room and as I descend the staircase, I spot my very own version of Prince Charming, pacing nervously at the bottom. I can tell the moment he becomes aware of my presence. His back is to me, but I see the automatic stiffening of his posture and then the subtle shift into his relaxed pose. His shoulders rise and fall as he takes a deep breath to gather himself. As he turns toward me, my breath catches in my throat.

I don't think I have ever seen Brian Kinney look so... So... Mouthwatering! The cream color silk suit fits him to perfection, while the bronze shirt and tie sets off his sparkling hazel eyes. Yes, I've seen him wear camel, and beige and brown; all of which I love him in.

But that fucking bronze color has me ready to jump his bones, in a way I never have.

"Down boy," Gene whispers into my ear, with a small chuckle behind the command.

"Sunshine," I hear Brian whisper, as his eyes drink me in from head-to-toe.

It's all I can do not to run down the stairs to him, at that sound of his awe and reverence. I smile at him, and hear his own breath hitch at the action, before he bestows me with an answering smile. "You look amazing, Brian."

"Not bad yourself, Sunshine. Not bad at all," he tells me as I finally make it down the staircase, to rest directly in front of him.

"We'll just go get the car," Alphonse tells us. "Mr. Brian, remember the rules." He calls back as he and Gene exit the house.

I lift my eyebrow in the unasked question. He rolls his eyes and tells me, "We have only five minutes to ‘bask in the glow of each other' as Alphonse puts it, before he comes back in here and drags us out by our ears. Oh, and we had better still be dressed, otherwise other unmentionable parts will be up for grabs."

I laugh. "Gene said something similar... about Alphonse, I mean."

"Oh? Why?"

"I was kinda sorta hoping that my appearance in this suit would make you cream in your pants," I tell him.

"You're damn fucking close, Twat. But Alphonse is a veritable pitbull; I'm not trying to be ball-less. I have a distinct and definite use for them... later."

I know the lust blazing in his eyes matches my own, and I'm hardpressed not to risk Alphonse's wrath for the immediate gratification of being in Brian's arms, having his cock drill me deeper than a rig digs for oil. All day, my body has been at the ready for a culmination that, as it stands right now, is hours away. "I guess we should go then..."

He bites his lip, before silently agreeing with me. Good thing too, since he just heard the patio door slide open.

"Ah-ha! Caught you!" Alphonse exclaims, as Brian and I turn to look at him.

"Yes, you bully. You caught us heading to the front door to leave," Brian says, his voice tinged with mock annoyance.

"Yes, well... From what I've heard of you two, one can never be too sure. Now come along Monsieurs, let's head away to your adventure. All is in readiness."

When we arrive outside, there is a white stretch Rolls Royce awaiting us. "What the hell happened to the car I ordered? Alphonse, this isn't the car," Brian gripes.

"Calm down, Mr. Brian. Upon the orders of Mr. George and Mr. Malcolm, they elected to have you use one of theirs for the evening. Gene and I picked it up from storage, while you were gone this morning. So accept the gift, and get in the car."

"See, Justin? I knew you two were a match," Gene calls out, standing in the doorway of the driver's seat.

"What is he talking about, Justin?" Brian asks me.

I wordlessly roll up my sleeve and show him the cufflinks. He smiles and then says, "Remind me never to look at anything in the presence of these two again. Somehow, everything I even thought about is just appearing out of thin air today."

"What are you talking about?"

He pulls up his sleeve to reveal a pair of chocolate diamond cufflinks as well. "Well if I didn't think of them as Fairy Godfathers before, I certainly do now," I say and whistle low.

"Well come on then, Cinderfella. It's time to go to the ball."

A HOPE GRANTED   

ARGENTO'S- MALIBU

BRIAN

It's funny that I never would have ever thought to do this, before George suggested it. Justin is a total foodie. The fact that he can eat like the activity will be outlawed in an hour, and still keep his twink physique, is as fascinating as it is unfair. So, that said, when I was trying to order ahead, which according to George is how this restaurant operates on a daily basis, he suggested that I order the sampler. Since this Argento's specializes in two of Justin's favorite cuisines, both Italian and Spanish, it seemed the most prudent thing to do.

This is after all, a date of decadence, and Justin shouldn't have to be deprived of anything for one choice over another.

As I requested, Justin and I were seated in an intimate corner of the restaurant, nearest the dancefloor with a clear view of the setting sun outside. I knew the other part of Justin's surprise was going to start soon, so it helped that upon our arrival, our food was almost immediately being served. Our meal started with appetizing soups of Potato and Spinach Gnocci and another bowl of Pasta Fazool. Amazingly, each of these had the right amount of spice and richness, so that the sauces of each seemed lush without being overbearing. I think I may have seen Justin's eyes roll back in his head a few times as he moved seamlessly between the two dishes.

I almost laugh aloud at the little moan, which escapes him every time he takes a spoonful, thinking what would the WASPy Mother Taylor think of her baby boy having several mini-orgasms, while dining in public. He stops midway to his mouth, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"What?" he asks.

"Enjoying the food?" I can't help the smirk that I'm sure is gracing my lips.

"Very much so."

"I know."

"Oh really? How?"

"Justin, we've lived together. I can always tell when you're indulging in two of the things that bring you the most pleasure. Since you aren't blowing me under this table right now, the little moans, groans, and gasps can only mean that you are satisfying that oral fixation you have in another way."

Justin puts down his spoon with this dreamy expression on his face. "I swear, Brian... I can certainly understand why you are considered one of the best ad men in the business. Your words provide such vivid images in your audience's mind."

"Does that mean you are willing to be my captive audience?"

"I was captivated the moment I saw you... and fascinated the moment we met; that hasn't changed."

"Sure, it has."

"How do you figure?"

"I'd like to think my allure has grown since then."

He smiles at me then. "You have no idea just how much it has."

Both Justin and I exchange smiles then, knowing that even at this moment in time, we are the subject of speculation, innuendo, and curiosity. It is ever thus wherever we go out together. For me, it's just natural, but sometimes it makes Justin a little uncomfortable. Not tonight, though. Tonight, he's welcoming the attention.

I guess it helps that I am completely focused on him, and he knows it. He's receiving something not even my clients get when I know there is a multi-million dollar deal on the table. Justin is getting all of me. Not the me that everyone else sees. But the one, he's always suspected I've kept hidden.

Before the next round of dinner will be served, we are treated to one act from the Dancesport Exhibition. One of the men doing the Argentine Tango looks familiar, and not in a positive life-affirming way. Justin must notice my regard as he turns to me with narrowed eyes, which become wide a second later.

"What is Dijon doing on the dancefloor? I thought he was a flight attendant."

"He is and..."

"A first class fuck? I know, since I've had him before," Justin tells me.

I frown at that, trying to remember the time we've fucked Dijon together. Oh fuck, we haven't! I look over at him, and I can tell by that secret little smirk he has on his face that he has figured out what I was doing. His look transforms to sultry, and he does that slow blink I absolutely love. "So... when did you fuck him?"

I could see him debating with himself, whether to tell me or not. "The night you told me that it was my choice where I wanted to be."

"I thought you went to Ian that night."

"I did."

"So how did you end up with Dijon?"

"Ethan and I had a disagreement, so I left. I went to Woody's to think, to calm down, and try to dissect my life that was already falling apart. He was nice to me." He shrugs, as if it was no big deal. And maybe under the circumstances at the time, it wasn't. But now...

"So does that mean if Emmett was there and nice to you, you would have fucked him, too?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"You don't fuck your friends."

"And that youngster, is where you fucked up."

He smiles at me and raises his glass in acknowledgment, but says nothing. I know that he knows it's where he went wrong with Ethan, and the core reason why the fiddler was able to keep Justin confused. There is a line there- a fine line- that should never be crossed. It's why, no matter how much I may have fooled around with Michael, both during our formative years and later, I would never cross that line with him. Well that, and the fact that I just could never want him like that.

Em is the only one I have crossed it with, but that was before we actually became friends; same as Justin. They were both only supposed to be one-night stands, and both have turned out to be my best friends. I stop to think about that for a moment. Justin's my best friend? Yeah, I suppose he is.

He's been there with the most sound advice- not just what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear- so many times. Especially more than Michael, and much, much more than Lindsay, which is amazing in a way since I have known him less time than the other two. What's more is that he's always given it with my best interests at heart, and without any hidden agenda. That realization sheds an entirely different light on this new beginning. I actually think that I'm seeing who Justin really is, clearly, for the very first time.

And yeah, I definitely like what I see.

"What are you thinking?" he asks me.

Before I get a chance to answer, we are interrupted by a subtle clearing of a throat and the view of a pair of long muscular legs standing in our seated view. Justin's eyes meet mine across the expanse of a very nice bulge, which is at eye-level. His eyes travel upward first, and I can tell that his breath has caught in his throat when he views the owner of said nice bulge. I laugh when my eyes come to rest on the owner as well.

"Hey, shouldn't you be on the floor, dancing? Don't tell me you left your partner to come over here and interrupt us."

I've always found the deep booming laughter engaging, considering his speaking voice is actually a high tenor. "No, I shouldn't be dancing unless it's between you two in a manwich in the middle of Babylon. But alas, I'm here doing my familial duty."

"What do you mean, Dijon? Brian and I distinctly saw you dancing in the middle of the dance floor. Was that the Argentine Tango?"

Dijon smiles at Justin, a twinkle in his light brown eyes. "That was indeed the Argentine Tango that Damien was performing. He's the dancer in the family."

"Damien?"

"Damien St. Charles is my twin brother, and a DanceSport Ten Dance Champion. I'm but a lowly flight attendant." He sighs dramatically.

"Lowly my ass, Jon," a voice that sounds remarkably like Dijon's belts out. Justin and I both have to do double takes because as much as they look alike when they are apart, is as much as they do when we are faced with them side-by-side. "If it wasn't for you, half of us would never be able to travel in the luxury you afford us when we're traveling for competitions and exhibitions like this one."

Dijon blushed, but brushed the compliment off. Turning back to us, he says, "What are you two doing here in Cali? Getting back together, I hope?"

Both Justin and I didn't know how to answer that, but we were saved- for a few moments at least- by the questioning from Damien to Dijon.

"So this is the infamous duo of Liberty Avenue you've told me so much about?"

"In the flesh, Damien. Brian and Justin's exploits on Liberty and beyond is the stuff of legends. So was their very public breakup." He looks sideways at the two of us again, before turning fully.

"It wasn't a breakup per se..." I begin, only to be cut off by a very large palm.

"Yes, it was. Deny it all you'd like, Kinney. But you were in the dreaded ‘R' word with the little blond dynamo here. Although not many were happy about it, I was! No matter how much you would love to cover the fact that you have a heart, you definitely do. Remember the night you put me in a cab after snatching my keys, because of the shit I took from Anita? You saved my life that night."

"Well having you drugged and drunk on the road was not only bad for unsuspecting people, but bad for Babylon's business as well."

He laughs at my attempt to disregard his claim that I'm some sort of hero to him. "Whatever the reason was, I owe you a shitload of thanks. And unlike some people, I only want your happiness. Although others were willfully blind, I was not; Justin made you happy, whether you acknowledged it or not. And as for you Justin, I hope that the disastrous little episode called Ethan is officially over?"

"Not exactly," Justin answers in a voice so small, he sounds thoroughly chastened. I don't even think I've heard him at first, until Dijon speaks again.

"Well he should be! All is not what it seems with that little rat, who should have been introduced to a bath and a comb long since."

"Dij..." Damien interrupts, but the tall queen stops him.

"No, Damien. Justin should know... but okay, tonight is not that night."

"What should I know?" Justin asks, and I can't deny my own curiosity at the question.

"The next time I'm in the Pitts, I'll make it a point to invite you to lunch so I can tell you what I know. But for now, young Stud, I think you need to take care of the seasoned Vet here. I just came over to say hi and to tell you both that it was good to see you together again. Oh, and don't worry.... I won't even tell Em that I saw you two. I know that some would never be happy to see or hear that you two are sharing the same air again, let alone whatever else you may be sharing later," he says, the innuendo evident in his voice.

Justin and I breath a sigh of relief at that. It wasn't that we were ashamed of each other; we just aren't ready for the scrutiny again. I know that soon we are going to have to talk about how to handle everything when we go back to the Pitts. But for right now, we are both just going to enjoy our time together, family-and-friend-free. The clearing of Damien's throat brings me out of my brief reverie.

"Dijon, it looks like our table is filling up, and the next couple should be ready to dance soon. See? Look, there's Ramone and Adrien."

"You're back with Ramone?" Justin asks.

"Yeah, even though he can be a bigger dick than the one he has, I still love the idiot," Dijon answers Justin, with what sounds like both weariness and wistfulness in his voice. I recognize the inflection because I've had it many times over the last four months, whenever I thought or talked about Justin.

I don't know what compelled me to reach out and touch Dijon on the shoulder, but I do. Feeling my gentle squeeze of understanding, he looks me in the eye and nods slightly in acknowledgement. He and Damien moved off as Justin and I retook our seats, heads turning as they passed each table. Looks like Justin and I weren't the only ones mesmerized by the sight of the identical twins with the light brown eyes.

"I can tell them apart. I'll bet you can't," Justin teases.

"Bullshit. But how?" I refuse to admit that I can't.

Justin smirks at me, knowing without me saying anything that for a change, my penchant for observing people has been stunned to a standstill for the moment.

"They both have dimples."

"That's true for Dijon. He has two twin dimples at the small of his back. I noticed them when I took him from behind."

Justin snickers in response. "I know that, but there are also dimples on their faces. Dijon's is on the left and Damien's is on the right." Just then both of them smiled and I wanted to pop Justin upside the head for the smug look on his face.

"Well you should notice that, since you are an artist, after all."

"And you probably would have noticed, if you weren't picturing the three of us in bed naked."

I burst out laughing; I can't help it. Justin has always been onto me when it comes to my penchant for undressing my prey with my eyes, even during the most mundane of tasks, including conversations, no matter how pointless. "I will not deny that the three of you would make one helluva human ice cream sandwich."

"You're such a perv..."

"And you would have me no other way."

Before he can respond, we are interrupted again and automatically I feel my hackles rise. Fuck! It's going to be a long night.

A WISH FULFILLED

CONNOR

Brett tried to warn me that this was a potentially bad idea, but I can't see that it is. Justin Taylor is a beautiful man, one that I would really like to get to know personally, in bed and out of it. I won't deny that when I saw him at the last few parties, I was tempted to approach him then, but I got a strange vibe from him. It was a little closed off, and yet he looked open to certain possibilities. I was hoping to change his mind over time, but seeing him sitting at the table across the room with a sexy stranger has sped up my timetable to woo him softly.

I didn't get where I am in life by being soft or timid, and although I don't know who that man sitting with Justin is, I suspect he is just as aggressive as I intend on being. I drag Brett along with me for two reasons: one is to make a formal introduction and two is to distract the stranger.

"Justin, it's good to see you again," Brett begins the conversation as we finally traverse the sea of humanity to stand in front of the gorgeous duo. I can't deny that the stranger looks even more tasty close up, but I suspect he's a top and that no matter how much money and connections I offer him, he would never bend to me. Now Justin, on the other hand...

"It's nice to see you as well, Brett," Justin responds in kind. "Are you and Connor enjoying the show?"

"I was enjoying it, but I think I'm enjoying the view from over here more," I tell him, capturing his eyes. I love the blush creeping up on his cheeks.

"That's nice of you to say, Connor. I'd like to introduce you to my companion, Brian Kinney, CEO of Kinnetik Enterprises. Brian, I'm sure you know who Brett Keller and Connor James are."

"Not particularly," the smoky-raspy voice proclaims with a touch of... is that disdain?

"Brian... the man behind ‘Rage,' I thought that was you. You're looking well."

"Of course I am, but how have you been, Brett?"

"Fine....just fine. I'd be even better if I could convince Justin to give the go-ahead to start pitch and production on the comic book. Connor, here, is interested in playing the lead character."

That was the opening I was looking for to regain Justin's attention. "So Justin, how about it? I'll bet I would look hot in the skintight costume of the superhero."

"I'm sure you would, Connor. But the co-creator of the comic and I are having a bit of... creative differences."

"Besides, aren't you a little old to play Rage," this Brian character states.

"Well you're mature, at least in comparison to Justin, so what's wrong with him trading up?" I was certainly not going to let him get away with that old remark, without a scathing retort of my own. Brett interrupted whatever Justin was about to say, and effectively closed off Justin from Brian's view, as I waited for Brian Kinney to acknowledge my insult and agree to clear my path to Justin. I couldn't resist saying more, in a voice that bespoke of a certain knowledge about the little blond being entertained by Bretty. "You think you can satisfy that little wildcat in bed, or out of it? Come on, Kinney, I know your type. You look at Justin, and think he's easy. I did too at first, but you aren't going to be able to keep him in style. I can show him the world, things he's only dreamed of seeing and then at night, I can fuck him so hard and so long that he wouldn't even remember his own name- let alone yours. Why don't you save your breath and stop wasting his time, and your own? He'd be much better off with someone like me, rather than a heartless bastard like you."

I think my words are getting through to him, as he sits back in the chair. I can see each of my accusations of his character turning over in his mind, as he mulls over how he feels about them. I can tell when he's made a decision to respond, but I didn't expect said response to begin with a small suppressed snicker, or the sardonic smirk which followed it. Again his voice shivered through me, reminding me of smoke-filled nights and palpable sensuality, but I put that to the side to really listen to what he was saying.

"The difference is, that unlike Rage, I'm here in the flesh with one of the most amazing men in creation. I don't have to pretend to be an integral part of his story- OUR story- because I live it every single day I'm with him. If Justin decides to let you play dress-up in my character, you will always be but a passing thought. He would never think of you at all. Besides..." he leans towards me, looking me straight in the eyes, "Justin only bottoms for the real Rage, so if that's what your interests in him is, you're wasting your time. But hey, feel free to continue to do so. I'm at least being nice in telling you to fuck off gently. Justin has no such compunction, or tact for all that he looks like an angel. As a matter of fact, I think it's time that I took my little Beelzebub to the dancefloor."

He stands up and it's then that I get a really good look at the man, who would be my nemesis. Tall and lean, Brian Kinney smells of Armani Code- the cologne I just did a photo spread for- with a hint of sex surrounding him. The pheromones just pour off the man, acting like a beacon beckoning his target without even trying. I wonder if it's that way for him all the time, even as I watch him approach the other side of the table where Justin is still sitting speaking with Brett. Without looking directly at Brian, it's almost as if his body detects when the older man is within his reach.

Justin extends the hand that just moments ago, was wrapped around his wineglass and draws Brian close to him to stand in between him and Brett. Brian leans into him, whispering in Justin's ear. Whatever it was he must have said to elicit the brightest smile I have ever seen on anyone, causes my own breath to catch. I noticed the same reaction in Brett, who now stood there with a bemused expression on his face. After Justin promised Brett that they would catch up again soon, the couple moves off towards the dancefloor where a romantic song in spanish is playing.

I understand the words, and by the way Brian and Justin are looking at each other, it's clear they do as well, which just makes my blood boil. I mean seriously, what does that guy have that I don't? I have fame, fortune, and a future that could really include Justin, if he would just give me a chance. The fucking would also be awesome. Justin's ass is made to caress and grip a cock.

Suddenly I can't help the surge of envy aimed at Brian Kinney, knowing that Justin's tight tunnel only accepted the notably well-endowed cock of the brunet. The silk slacks do absolutely nothing to cover either one of the bulges in their pants, even while they are dancing close together. They look fucking HOT together. But more than that, the affection they feel for each other reaches beyond the dancefloor and covers everyone in the vicinity. Even I can't help but be affected by it.

This is the one time I can honestly say that having a front-row seat is a distinct disadvantage.

As I continue to sit here in awe, and stewing in my jealousy while watching Justin being twirled, and then pulled hard against the real-life Rage's chest, it's just now starting to really register that something big is happening between them. Between the song, "Refugio de Amor," and the movements, which seem as if they've danced this particular dance a million times the air is charged with an anticipation that it's impossible not to feel... An expectation I know intuitively will increase my envy of Brian Kinney on many more levels, than just having Justin in his arms. I watch as he places a single kiss on Justin's full lips, only to pull back and make eye contact with the blond, before moving in again. It is quite possibly the sweetest, the most erotic, and the most undeniably powerful thing I have ever witnessed between anyone, gay or straight.

What I don't get is the gasp emitting from Justin, and the look of shock. Nor do I understand the lone tear, making its way slowly down his cheek from the left corner of eyes, whose gaze never wavered from Brian's.

"Oh my God, Brian... I remember," he says, and I have to wonder what they are talking about. But based on the look of elation and fear on Brian's face, I know that Justin remembering whatever it is, is momentous in their lives. And whereas we're all spectators at this moment, it still feels as intimate as if they are sharing some deeply-guarded secret.

"Are you sure?" Brian asks him, folding his lips in, awaiting Justin's response.

Justin nods. "Yeah, and you were right. It was ridiculously romantic."

Brian grabs Justin to him, kissing him for all they're worth. It seems to have gone on and on, until finally they needed to pull back due to the need for oxygen. But instead of moving away or pretending like nothing happened, which is what I would have expected from the hardened and closed off man Brian Kinney seems to be, he brings his forehead down to Justin as they both close their eyes again. Somehow, this action on their parts seems even more intimate than the sweet kisses. Or even the torrid one, everyone in the room just witnessed.

I ask Dijon, who seems to be in the know about the couple dominating the middle of the dance floor, what the big deal is. To say that I am completely shocked by his answer, and the tears in his eyes would be an understatement. I mean the man is 6' 5" and muscular to a degree without being grotesque, despite his voice being rather high pitched. He looks as straight as I am, or better yet as the world thinks I am when I'm on the red carpet. Why the fuck is he crying?

"He's finally home; he remembers," he said, as if that should explain everything.

"What? He remembers what?"

"Don't you know the story of Justin Taylor?"

"No. There's a story? I just thought he was a hot piece of ass, I might pursue." If the look he gave me could kill, I would be bleeding, dead, and stinking by now. I ignored it, because I am genuinely curious. "So what is the deal with him?"

He huffs out an exasperated breath. "Quite obviously, you've read Rage..."

"Yeah. If Justin agrees to it, then we're going to try to make it into a movie. What about it?"

"The ‘JT' character is Justin Taylor." Once again, I'm a bit confused, so I look for him to continue. "The first issue of Rage- The Bashing- is Justin's personal story. He was bashed by a fellow student at his high school prom, which he attended with Brian. He lost a good portion of his memories leading up to two weeks before the prom, and including that night. Originally, Justin asked Brian to the prom and he said no, and told him to find someone his own age. So Brian showing up to Justin's prom was not only a surprise to everyone there, but to Justin as well. Of course, he would have wanted to remember it, since the Stud of Liberty Avenue all but proclaimed to those assembled that Justin Taylor was his. Brian Kinney would never have done that before... But he did it for Justin. And he's doing it again now." Dijon continues to impart information regarding Brian and Justin's reputation, especially telling me that Justin only bottoms for Brian, and that they both are world class fucks. "They fight together, they fuck together, and they kick ass together. I feel sorry for the fuckers, who dared to try to break them up for good. Now that Justin has ALL of his memories back, there's going to be some serious hell to pay. Justin is two things, that looking at him you would never expect."

"Oh yeah. What's that?"

"He's extremely intelligent. But as nice as Justin is, if he gets angry, he can be as mean or meaner than the man currently holding him. And Brian Kinney can be pretty fucking vindictive when crossed. That's the other thing no one would expect about Justin Taylor. For all his angelic looks, the boy could probably wield a pitchfork better than Satan himself, and would give a dazzling smile while doing it. You would probably do well to remember that, Connor."

I look over at the couple, understanding so much more about Brian's protectiveness and possessiveness towards Justin now. The chemistry between the breathtakingly stunning couple is powerful, and blinding in its intensity. All I can do is mourn the loss of Justin, even as I hope that he has, once again, found himself and his happiness in the man whose forehead is still pressed against his. I suspect that now that Justin has his memories back, Dijon is right. Someone is going to have hell coming for them in the form of a seemingly innocent looking blond with a vicious temper.

Worse yet, they- whoever they are- won't even see him coming.