Cry Me A River- Justin Timberlake

Lyrics

You were my sun/ You were my earth/ But you didn't know all the ways I loved you,

no/ So you took a chance/ And made other plans/ But I bet you didn't think that they

would come crashing down, no/ You don't have to say, what you did,/ I already know, I

found out from him/ Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be/

And don't it make you sad about it/ 

You told me you loved me/ Why did you leave me, all alone/ Now you tell me you need

me/ When you call me, on the phone/ Girl I refuse, you must have me confused/ With

some other guy/ Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn/ To cry,/ Cry me a

river

I know that they say/ That somethings are better left unsaid/ It wasn't like you only

talked to him and you know it (Don't act like you don't know it)/ All of these things

people told me/ Keep messing with my head (Messing with my head)/ You should've

picked honesty/ Then you may not have blown it/ The damage is done/ So I guess I be

leaving

You don't have to say, what you did,/ I already know, I found out from him/ Now

there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be/ And don't it make you sad

about it/ Cry me a river

Written by Scott Storch, Timothy Mosley, Justin Timberlake

•  Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group

CHAPTER 3

Justin

Arriving back at the loft after all these months away is kind of surreal. When I left, I never thought to come back. Well, that's not exactly accurate. I knew that I would be back, but not the reason. There are so many feelings running through me right now.

Sadness. Hurt. Disappointment. Elation that I can see this building without Ethan hovering, and accusing me of missing Brian. Which I do, but that's not his business.

I really don't know what the fuck he expects, but right now I can't think about him. I have to deal with the man I have been successful in not only avoiding seeing for the last four months, but a man I have also not talked to and have managed- except in the case of Lindsay- have not heard about. The day after I left the Diner, I called Michael and told him that he could forget about his dream of seeing Rage be the most sought after comic classic. It only seemed fair, since he was all too happy to take my one and only dream man away from me. Could I have picked honesty instead of sneaking around with Ethan?

Sure. In fact, I had. But I didn't even get the chance to come clean on my own, because Michael just had to tell Brian about something he really didn't understand. Or if he did understand it, he chose to disregard or intentionally forget the pain I was in. So yeah, I may have had no business falling for Ethan's romanticism, but Michael had no business being a self- serving busybody.

Well all I can think is of how happy he must be to have Brian all to himself again. I never understood how or why that was so important to Michael, since he had David first, and he is now with Ben. Brian was more like Michael's dusty collectables than a human being with real feelings. As long as Brian was there where Michael wanted him, he could go ahead and live his life as he chose. But the minute he stepped out of Michael's plans for him, or when Michael wanted to play, Brian had a human-sized monkey on his back and screeching in his ear in order to pull him back into the zoo of Babylon's partygoers.

But I can't even put all the blame on Michael, because Brian Kinney never does what he doesn't want to do. It was evident that he didn't want to love me. Or at least, he didn't want to say that he really did. And that's what really makes me angry, not so much at Brian himself, but at everything and everyone who hindered us... And the fact that he let them. 

I marched up the stairs, determined to tell Brian to take his fucking money and shove it. There are too many strings attached to it. It comes with accusations and opinions; with feelings that I am struggling to keep below the surface. I'm trying my hardest to reorder my life, to make what I want for it a priority. And Brian's help fucks up all of it!

Arriving at the top of the stairs, I wasn't surprised to find the loft door wide open. I stopped to catch my breath when I heard his voice for the first time in nearly five months. "You gonna stand there all night? Although I am a little surprised to see you without your constant shadow hovering behind you." Brian tells me.

"Fuck you, Brian," I say as I step over the threshold. As I do I can't help but be assailed with the memories of my very first time here especially when he tells me to ‘shut the door'. I find myself taking that same nervous inhalation, only this time for a vastly different reason, but I do as I'm told before turning around and starting right in on him. "Fuck you and Father Kinney's School for Wayward Wards and Exes."

"So I see that PIFA sent your reinstatement notice." He crosses over to the minibar, and pours himself a double shot of Beam.

I have to catch myself from asking for a glass to coat my suddenly parched throat. God I hate that he looks this fucking good, especially since I am still in my uniform from the restaurant. Thankfully it was a fairly easy night with great tips and I'm not doused in food from having to double as sous chef as had been the case more recently of late. "I just came to tell you to take your fucking money and go to hell Brian. I don't need it, or you."

"Bullshit."

"What?"

"You fucking heard me, Justin. And my words weren't all that difficult for you to understand."

"Yeah I heard you, Sir Arrogance, but why the fuck are you doing this?" Fuck it! If he's not going to offer me a drink, I'll grab one for my damn self.

"What?"

"Why are you insinuating yourself into my life again? You've made it perfectly clear that I'm not welcome in yours, and I don't want to be; not anymore. I've already had to deal with the rigors of your life, and I can say that I found the experience exhausting, and an episode not to fucking be repeated."

"First of all, I'm not insinuating myself into anything. Secondly, we had a fucking deal- one that you signed a contract on- so I'm not about to let you renege on it. What's wrong? Afraid your boyfriend is going to get pissed off because your former beau is still able to easily afford to take care of you? Perhaps if he actually found a job, he might be able to keep you in the style you have become accustomed, hmm?"

Nevermind that I have thought the same things as recently as this morning, but coming from Brian... Well that was just too fucking much! "Where the fuck do you get off making me sound like some fucking kept man, Brian? When have I NOT worked? I didn't fuck you, or start fucking you because you were well off. I'm not a fucking whore; never have been and never will be. So again, FUCK YOU!!"

"Wow! He speaks with passion again instead of the dead thing he has been for the last eight months," Brian says sarcastically while applauding me. "But you forget one fucking thing, Justin. I NEVER treated you as such, or accused you of being that to me."

"You didn't have to, since your fucking friends did time and again."

"This isn't about them..."

"Like fuck it isn't!" I yelled at him. And it felt good to do it. I decided right then that if this was the way the conversation was going to go, I might as well let it all fucking out so that I could leave here with a clean slate, Brian-free. "You want to know how many times I have been called a gold-digger by Michael alone? Two-hundred and forty-three times. You were there for over half of them, and you said nothing to your fucking best friend. You want to know how many times it was implied by your baby mama? Eighty-fucking-six! And again, you were there and said NOTHING!"

"It wasn't their business," Brian yelled back at me.

"No it wasn't, but would it have hurt you to defend me, just fucking once? I guess so, since you never did. I had to deal with all of that. And just when I thought that Michael and I had become fucking friends what does he do? He runs to you and tells you about Ethan, without telling you every fucking thing else."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I would tell you to ask little Mikey but we all know how he is, right? He'll do just what the fuck he did this time. He'll only give you half of the information so that he will get what the fuck he really wanted in the first fucking place. Well your asshole best friend knew how I felt when you cancelled Vermont. Did he tell you that? No? Well let me tell you what I told him. I told him that I want to be with someone who wants only me, someone who wants to stay home once in awhile or at least gets jealous when he sees someone else sucking my dick in front of him. Do you know what the fuck was bringing all that on, Brian? Could it be the fact that I seemed more of a hinderance to you than anything else? Do you know who reinforced that diseased and warped thinking by telling me that I was only with you because you felt guilty? That's right! Your best fucking friend!

"Well after tomorrow, your best friend will need your ass to bail him out of a fucking hefty lawsuit if he doesn't buy me out of the comic at a decent price. He and I were supposed to be partners in that fucking rag. But then I get a call saying that he was going to give me five-thousand dollars for my share of the comic. I talked to an attorney and considering what Michael owes me in online sales alone, he'll be lucky if I don't snatch his fucking store from him and sell it along with his collectibles all in under two fucking hours. So you can take your money, begin the Brian Kinney for Pathetic and STUPID ass Best Friends Who Never Read the Fine Print on A Contract Fund, and fuck off!"

I could see that what I said really pissed him off, but why? Was it because I exposed Michael, or because I told him to fuck off? I doubt that anything I've said regarding him and I will make one fucking bit of difference, so it must be Michael... again. I drop the letter on the coffee table, advising that I will be calling PIFA in the morning to stick with my original plan of dropping out until I can afford to do it myself. I was just about to the loft door when I heard him speak.

"Well then you must be prepared to go to court then."

I whipped around so fast that I nearly lost my balance. "What the fuck are you talking about? You're going to sue me? For what?"

"Breach of contract."

I laughed, I couldn't help it. "So, because I'm suing that whiny bastard, you're going to take me to court?"

"You got it, well partly, but this has nothing to do with Michael."

"Fuck you, Brian."

"Say it one more time, Justin, and I swear I will make good on fucking you. Now back to the matter at hand. I'll be suing you for breach of contract. You know what the stipulations of our contract were, and you're trying to disregard the terms by dropping out of school for the second time in a week. You are a commodity, Justin; an investment, and I refuse to let you out of the contract, even if it was your idea to begin with."

"Brian, that is ridiculous! We aren't together anymore. Besides there wasn't any fine print that I didn't go over so I guess I'll see you in court."

"You are the most stubborn ass..."

"Fuck you, Brian! You're the most arrogant asshole I've ever met. I...I need to get out of here before I say something else."

Before I could get the door unlocked and opened, I found myself slammed against the brick wall beside it and my hair being pulled from behind. I winced at the rough yank as I felt Brian's hand grip my scalp in a manner that I never thought I'd feel again.

"I warned you, Justin," he said gravelly in my ear, and I couldn't stop the quickening within my body that I felt at the tone of his voice. I made to reach for the door and felt Brian press himself fully against my back pinning me in place. "Fuck me, huh? No... Fuck you!" He said before his mouth began attacking the nape of my neck.