CHAPTER 49: THERE’S SOME HOES IN THIS HOUSE / I’LL BEAT THAT B*TCH WIT’ A BAT

A Foreword about the title of this chapter:

Two different songs; both accurate for this chapter. The title is literally the lyrics to both songs, even though with IBTBWAB, there's a section that says: She disrespects me, forever rejects me, she never requests me, but always second-guessing me … LOL If you are familiar at all with the NYC Club/House scene in the 80s and 90s, you know exactly how they sound...

DEBBIE:

Of course, I had to endure the same type of screening coming to see this bitch, but it was still a little easier because she hasn’t been arraigned yet. As a result, she’s in the holding area. When she sees me sitting here, she turns on the waterworks and rushes towards me. “Oh Debbie, thank God! You just have to do something for me…”

“Is that right?”

“Yes! I’m being wrongfully accused by the District Attorney, who has it in for me.”

“Oh? Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“And why would she have it in for you?”

“Deb…”

“No, Lindsay,” I stop her. “I’m not going to stick my neck out for you without knowing the reason why. And the truth! I want the truth, Lindsay. It’s the only way to fight a lie, don’t you agree?”

I watch her closely as a calculating gleam enters her eyes, but she quickly suppresses it. She has mastered that particular look, but then I suppose she’s had a lot longer to do so. Whereas Lindsay looks a bit more serene, Michael would use petulance and the high-pitchness of his voice to whine to the point where you either do what he demands of you, or you find something with which to cut his tongue out of his head. Funny that I’m really taking note of all these different nuisances in their personalities now, even though they both have the same goal of freedom.

She sighs wearily, as if the entire weight of the world is upon her shoulders. “Deb, I’m in a real bind. My attorney quit on me, and I need Melanie to come represent me before I go into arraignment. If I take my chances with legal aid, the outcome won’t be as favorable.”

“And just why do you think Mel would do that? Have you called her? What did she say?” I ask the questions in rapid-fire succession, not giving her a chance to cover her annoyance that she can’t get me to just simply agree to do her bidding. As it is, it’s taking everything in me not to reach across this table and choke the heifer for what she involved my boy in. But doing that won’t get the answers I need to light a fire under Edwards’ ass in defending my son. So I continue to play it cool. “I can’t help you if I don’t know what I’m asking for, Lindsay. What are the charges?”

“I don’t exactly know…” she hedges, but I called her on it.

“Bullshit, Lindsay. Fucked a cop well and often, remember? So I learned a few things while we were talking afterwards. And I know the first thing they do when they arrest you besides put the cuffs on you, is Mirandize you. Not doing so could lead to a mistrial, and from all accounts, none of them are going to allow that to happen. So, again, the truth, if you please.”

I sit silently as she picks and chooses what to tell me. “Destruction of property, accessory to burglary, and false representation,” she says. I know that’s not the whole truth, but it’s enough for now.

“I know there is more, but right now, I want to ask you something else.”

“Deb, can’t you just…”

“Not until you tell me what all of that has to do with Michael.” The stillness and shock, quickly morphs into tears. “Before I do ANYTHING on your behalf, I want the entire catalog of Michael’s supposed sins.”

“What makes you think I know any more than you do?” Lindsay asks me, and again, I can see that she’s hedging. So I decide to just put it all out there.

“Because all of what he’s being charged with has your hand written all over it. It doesn’t matter if you did the crimes yourself; what does is that you involved my Michael!”

“Involved him? Are you accusing me of… of sanctioning Michael doing the things he’s done? Deb…”

“I’ve been to the hospital, so you might as well can it with the innocent act, Lindsay!”

“The hos- the hospital? Deb, are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m perfectly fine, as are Taryn Charles and the babies she was carrying. Babies which have your DNA.”

“Oh my… Brian and I are parents again,” she breathes, as she gets this dreamy look in her eyes. “On second thought, Deb. Can you contact Brian, and tell him to get me out of here? I mean, the mother of his children shouldn’t be in jail, should she?”

“Personally, I think that’s exactly where the mother... fucker of his children should be.” I say, enjoying the look in her eyes as they go from dreamy to angry in a nanosecond.

“Pardon me? Deb, I don’t think…”

“No, you don’t think, and that’s the problem! Because of you and your fucking suggestions, Michael is mixed up in shit you started in your quest to be Mrs. Brian Kinney. Well, I’m happy to tell you that that will NEVER happen. Furthermore, you will NEVER get your hooks into those kids, one of which is JUSTIN’S son!”

“WHAT?! NO! That’s… That can’t be right! I…”

“Stole two condoms, one of which had Justin’s jizz in it.”

“But that would mean Melanie was telling the truth; that Justin…”

“Tops Brian, yes. It is the truth! So NO! Neither Melanie nor Brian, and certainly NOT Justin, will be coming to get you out of the stink you’ve gotten yourself into. What I want to know is where Michael fits into all of this. Was he merely your tool? Or did you both plan this mountain of shit together?”

Once again, I see the angry look enter her eyes, only this time more strongly. “YES, we planned to destroy Justin and entrap Brian, together. The only thing is that Michael thought I was doing everything for his benefit. I wasn’t! Michael in no way, shape, or form belongs with Brian. I DO! Your precious fucking baby can’t even hold a fucking fork right, much less converse about a book which doesn’t contain pictures. Face it, Deb; you birthed an imbecile! If I wasn’t holding his hand, he would have never known to go to Craig Taylor to try to make a deal with him regarding getting Justin out of town permanently. And because he couldn’t even do that right, I had to go behind him and strike up my own deals. In fact, I need to call Craig, since he’s to take the babies and get rid of them for me…”

“What the fuck do you mean get rid of them?!”

“Not THAT, Deb, although considering they didn’t serve their purpose it should be considered. The same goes for Gus. NONE of them served to keep Brian at my side, where Joan and I decided he belongs! And IT’S ALL YOUR FUCKING SON’S FAULT!”

Before I have a chance to rebut all the shit she’s spouting, the prison guards come in to drag her away. But Lindsay isn’t done. “I fucked Chris Hobbs so that I could get him to agree to attack Justin. All your idiot son had to do was make sure the fucking job was completed, but NO! He had his own idea of an alibi; going off with David to Portland. What the fuck for? No wonder David sent his whiny ass home! He’s fucking USELESS! Probably couldn’t even tie his fucking shoes without someone doing the hand-over-hand method with him. If I had my way, you would be sharing a cell with him. After all, you raised that inept piece of shit. You should kill him, and then kill yourself! You’re both globs of a wasted fuck!”

Before I can even register what I am doing, I have pushed three officers out of my way in order to get to the bitch. Taking her hair in my hand, I make sure to wrap it around my left while my right hand is around her throat. I can feel the officers trying to pry my hands off of her, but I hold my grip steady. I can’t help but see and relish the sudden fear in her eyes as I knowingly cut off her air supply. But most of all, I want to see life leaving this whore’s eyes. Because of her and Joan’s greed, my Michael is sitting in jail, and from all accounts won’t see the light of day again. 

“Motherfucking whore!” I yell, as I tug her to me again. “Yeah, that mouth isn’t feeling so fucking brave now, is it, Bitch?”

“Mrs. Novotny, you have to let her go. Don’t make me taze you!” one of the officers tells me.

“You might as well do it!” I answer through gritted teeth, tightening my grip even more. “I want this bitch DEAD!”

“That’s not for you to decide, Ma’am,” he tries again.

“Deb, LET LINDSAY GO!” Carl, who someone must have called, yells at me.

“Do you know what this bitch did, Carl?! Do you?!”

“Yes, Deb. I do. And don’t worry, Lindsay’s charges keep mounting. Unfortunately, that also means that Michael’s are being upped as well,” he tells me, before moving to grip the hand still wrapped around the harridan’s throat. “Let her go, Deb. As it is, we have to charge you with what happened here today. Don’t up your own charges to Murder One.”

Fuck! What am I doing?! I squeeze her throat once more, before shoving her away from me into the officers who had come in to take her away. I turn into Carl’s strong chest and let myself cry out my anguish, while Lindsay coughs and sputters behind me. As they carry her out- no doubt on the way to the infirmary- I ask Carl if he could explain the situation to the D.A. and let her know what Lindsay said. If MIchael has to go down for his part in this, I’m determined that little Miss Plans pays the ultimate price as well.

“I’ll talk to the D.A. Deb, but I don’t have to worry about telling her what happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“This room is wired with both audio and video. They may not let you completely off the hook, regarding what you almost did to Lindsay, but I’m sure in some ways, you’ll probably be applauded. She’s certainly been one of the more… interesting prisoners around here; I doubt anyone in here will have any sympathy for her. In fact, I think you’ve managed to do what the rest of us haven’t, no matter that you broke the law while doing it.”

“What’s that?” I look up at him.

“You stopped that pigeon from cooing, if only for a little while. I have a feeling she’s going to be fairly quiet for the rest of the day.”

I snicker, thinking he just might be right about it all. I also know I have some decisions to make concerning the bridges I’ve burned in an effort to save my very guilty son. Beginning right now. “I’m sorry that I didn’t listen, Carl.”

“I know, Red. As a parent, I understand. But as a cop…”

“I know.”

He nods as we stand there in silence for a little while, before he asks, “So are you ready to face the music?”

“I don’t think I have much choice. I did the crime… and honestly, I’m a bit disappointed in myself.”

“For losing your temper?”

I shake my head. “For not being able to finish what I started. People like Lindsay Peterson should come with warning signs: AVOID at all cost!”

“I can’t disagree, but don’t be disappointed that you didn’t finish the job.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have a feeling that she’s going to wish you had in the days to come.”

And you know what? That makes me feel just that little bit better to know that now I have to leave Lindsay AND Michael to the justice system. And it hurts, but it’s a lesson of listening to understand, instead of with the purpose to argue and defend the indefensible that has come a little too late. It's also come at a very happy price, since I ultimately lost a host of people who never would have hurt me as much as Lindsay’s words and Michael’s actions have done. But I brought that on myself. 

After all, I just had to be Super Save-A-Hoe to a bitch, who committed Statutory Rape in an effort to irreparably harm Justin, and a Ma to the real the real life version of Peter Pan, who never grew the fuck up. 

Yeah, I’m about to get exactly what I deserve… a very hard, very real wake-up call.