As Brian walked to the Mariott, he tried to get how annoyed he felt under control.

After the eventful night and morning he had, Brian wasn’t in the best mood. Eric had forgiven him for the most part, but Brian could tell that he was still pissed off. After he had taken him back to the bedroom, he hadn’t really wanted to have sex even though Brian offered to bottom. He had given Eric a blow job this morning but he was still a little distant before Brian left for his meeting. Eric was the type to want to work out the problems by talking it out. He had tried last night but he knew it wasn’t quite over yet. He knew that he would have to try to suck it up, at least until later. He knows that he needs to sit down with Eric, not only for his own piece of mind but for his fiancé’s as well, and talk about it. Only this time he would have to be less defensive. He knows he was a dick. He doesn’t know why he thought jumping on him for sex would make Eric get over it. That didn’t usually work. At least not for something more than an argument over who was going to do the dishes or something else mundane.

He needed to make sure that Eric knew that the two of them could back out of going to Justin’s gallery on the 31st. Brian wants things back to normal, even though it hasn’t even been 12 hours since they had their confrontation at the apartment last night. He knows he was a dick to Justin and Nathan. He knew he had acted in a way that wasn’t that common of him anymore. It’s as though he couldn’t stop himself. It hadn’t been just Justin’s presence that had set it off. It had been Nathan’s presence and the fact that he was with Justin that had put him in such a dickish mood. Just seeing Justin, who hadn’t even done anything to him, wouldn’t put make him pull the shit he did last night. Hell, when he saw him on the street for the first time in years it had been Brian who had approached him. When he laid his eyes on him, his heart skipped a beat and he felt some strange sense of anticipation.

But, fuck, he didn’t want to be happy about Justin slowly coming back into his life. He didn’t want to be angry or sad about it either. But if he kept acting hot and cold on Justin, he was afraid of what might happen to his current relationship. He knew that Eric was probably one of the most patient people he has ever known. He had to be to go to over half of Brian’s therapy appointments for eight months and see him closed up for the longest time and when Brian finally did open up, Eric saw him fail to hold back tears, go into rages, and talk about his childhood and the promiscuity that he used to practice. Eric was practically a saint most of the time and that period in their lives had proved it. When it came to patience at least. Not in the bedroom. In the bedroom, his partner could have the dirtiest mouth.

Eric and Brian didn’t get into many arguments. Not serious ones anyway. They got along really well and since Eric was the type to want to talk things out and Brian, while volatile, hated for the people he cared about to be upset with him, their fights usually didn’t last long. But they had gotten to that point a few times where they would have a nasty argument that simmered for a while. There had been times where Eric had been put in a foul mood, usually by his family or a homophobic client, and it caused him to lash out at Brian and that in turn would cause an argument between them. But it was usually Brian who started something, He was man enough to admit that he was usually the one that did or said something scathing and ended up regretting it later. It had only happened a couple of times, but there had been nights where Eric made Brian sleep on the couch and Brian would lay there stewing in his anger over how fucking stepford that was but also itching and aching to go back and be in bed with his partner. That had happened twice to him in their whole time together, to be exact. One reason had been how he had spoken to Gus a few years back and, even though Eric hadn’t flipped out at him like Mel had, he sure as hell wasn’t happy. Brian had understood why.

The other was when Brian had gotten all upset about how much Eric was leaving town to work and he was barely seeing him. Lily had been about 18 months old and she was going with him on every other trip Eric was taking so “Brian wouldn’t be overwhelmed.” The trips were usually just for a few days tops but Brian had really been missing his daughter and his partner and had just blown up at Eric when Eric had mentioned that he had to leave again since he had to fly to Montreal to meet with a new client. Eric got all defensive and pointed out he had stayed home for over a year to be a stay-at-home dad while Brian got to build up his business and they just went at it. Eric told him to sleep on the couch that night and Brian had laid there and was too upset to sleep. Eric ended up coming out in the middle of the night, got on top of him, and laid his head on his chest. It had been nice and sweet and then Brian rolled him onto the floor, put Eric’s legs on his shoulders, and fucked him until Eric was moaning out a litany of filth. Thank god they hadn’t woken up Lily because he didn’t want honestly didn’t want to scar her at such a young age but, more importantly, he hadn’t wanted one of his top five fucks with Eric to be interrupted.

He is actually surprised that he wasn’t banned from the bedroom last night. He would have understood but he had been grateful that Eric had led him to bed so he could sleep next to him. They didn’t fight that often, but Brian hated it when they did and it got to that point. He usually didn’t get all mushy about it, but he really did love him. He had honestly thought he would never feel like that again about someone after Justin. He had even found him sort of quickly after he became single again. He may have wanted to pair up with someone due to being lonely at first but it had grown into something more, despite the many bumps along the way. It had taken him so long to find Justin and it had taken him a while to accept him into the role of his partner as well. He never had legitimate romantic feelings over anyone before Justin came into his life. Well, that wasn’t completely true. He sort of had a crush on his roommate his first year of college but he was one of those men who only acted on any gay curiosity when they were drunk and then denied everything the next morning. Phillip had briefly made him question his no repeats rule but no one had made him question his stance on relationships like Justin had. And when he kicked Justin out of his life, yeah he fucking regretted it, but he was still Brian Kinney and didn’t want to cave. He had been embarrassed and didn’t want to give in and apologize and at the time he felt that he didn’t have to because Justin had strung him along making him look like some pining lovesick puppy. He had prepared himself for it to happen when Justin had first left but they had made things work and Justin ended up pulling the rug out from under him two years later. Whatever. It was years ago. He was over him. He had Eric now and he was happy about that.

He had to get his mind off of it. Think about something else. He had plenty on his mind. His meeting for instance. It hadn’t gone as well as he hoped. Jeff Sellers, a theater director and producer, had enlisted Kinnetik into advertising for an off the wall Broadway Rock Musical. He wanted unique advertising and Brian had put the designs in motion. He had people go to different neighborhoods and put up worn looking band flyers. He had planned for the band to perform on top of a fucking double decker bus in Times Square. They had met for coffee to initially discuss the prep work needed and talk figures but that didn’t happen since Jeff had informed him that three out of four of the band members got busted yesterday for dealing large amounts of cocaine. It was going to be on the 6 o’ clock news so thank god Sellers gave him a heads up. Fucking dumbasses. Who fucking deals cocaine on Christmas? So now the show was on hold just as Brian had been ready to have some of his team go in and do superficial renovations to the theater since they were going to make it emulate 80s punk rock. But now new musicians needed to be cast to accompany the star of the show. They needed to be able to learn the music quickly and be decent enough actors to say the few lines that each of them had. He hadn’t listened to Strep Negative’s music before, but after all the grief they put him through in the last hour, he knew that he never would. Not that he would get a chance to. No respective record label would touch them now. This was supposed to be a pretty big break for them and they blew it. Whatever. Their shitty name should have been a hint that they would suck.

Oh well. Another thing to add to his list of shit that was stressing him out. He was hoping that spending the day with Gus would make him feel a little better. Maybe the stress would rub off onto his son when he gave him ‘the talk’ later and he could secretly laugh at any horror he put on Gus’s face. He felt like he probably wouldn’t though, considering he had to alter most of his knowledge to fit a woman partner instead of a man. But he could do it. His number of sexual partners (most of them being one-time hookups) literally went into the thousands. He had lost track of how many men he had slept with and it had become irrelevant since the last time he had fucked someone else besides Eric was a couple months before Lily was born when they had brought a couple of tricks home. However, out of the very high number of people who he had slept with, only three of them had been women. And if wasn’t awful per say. He had gotten off and he had liked two of the three women as friends but obviously hadn’t been attracted to any of them. And even though there was a big enough difference between men and women to make Brian unquestionably gay, there wasn’t that much of a difference in the basics and even logistics of it. There wasn’t a difference when you had sex with someone you gave a shit about, just a difference between what gender those feelings were generally directed towards. He wanted to just lay down the safe, consensual, and comfortable speech and open up the topic for questions and discussion. But still, he wasn’t looking forward to the awkwardness. He had been planning to hold off for a couple of more days but Lindsay had texted him today and asked whether he was going to fit that into today’s schedule. So whatever, he could do it. It would be one more thing to get off his mind and his to do list.

As he arrived at the front of the hotel, he was barely in the lobby before Gus was jumping off of one of the couches and walking towards him.

“Thank God you’re here.” Gus told him while walking past and out the door.

“Good to see you too.” Brian called after and followed.

Brian walked down the steps and stood next to Gus. He could tell his son was annoyed about something as well.

“What’s going on, Sonny boy?”

Gus shot him a glare that screamed ‘I’m not a baby but too old to say I’m not a baby so take a hint and stop.’

He fucking wishes.

“Nothing. Mel and Lindsay are pissing me off, that’s all.”

Ah, the use of names. He must be pissed.

“Not Ma and Mom, huh? That bad?”

Gus just shrugged.

“Well if you want to talk about it just say the words. You hungry? Pick a place and we’ll go.”

They end up catching the train and going down to La Paella in the East Village. He had taken Gus to New York on vacation a couple of times before he moved up. The first time they went, they were both starving and had just chosen La Paella at random. The food had taken a while because they made it fresh but when it finally arrived, it was more or less an orgasm in your mouth. Gus usually made it a point of trying to get Brian to take him there and it sort of became their thing to do. Despite only going there a couple of times more than Gus, they always remembered them. He always left a large tip, so that might be why. It was a small and intimate restaurant and every time they went no one else was there. Maybe it was more of a dinner destination or they just came at a strange time but that was the way it had been every time and as they sat down Brian could see that this time was no exception.

“Hello, Hello! How are you both today? Ah, Señor Kinney! It’s been a while! Can I get either of you something to drink?”

“I’ll have a glass of the house wine.”

“Good choice, sir! And for the young man? Wine as well? Sangria, if you want something sweeter.”

Gus’s eyes light up at that and Brian’s eyes roll.

“He’s fourteen.”

“Aw, it’s Christmas. Or close to it. Back home, the kids always got a glass of wine on the holidays. America is different though.”

“We won’t say anything.” Gus tells the waiter clinging onto some remnants of hope for a buzz.

“Gus, give it up and order a soda.”

Gus sighs and orders a coke, then goes back to his menu.

The food is delicious as always and Gus does seem to lighten up a little but still seems a little off. The waiters are on the other side of the room so Brian takes the opportunity to take the first step and ask.

“Wanna tell me what’s got you upset with your moms?”

“It’s stupid.” Gus mumbles as he stabs a piece of pork with his fork.

“Come on. You know it’s going to bug the both of us if you don’t spit it out.”

Gus lets out a breath.

“They want me to go down to Pittsburgh for a month in the summer to spend time with their parents. They just brought it up like it was already set. I don’t fucking get it. I barely know them and I don’t want to know them any better. Ma’s parents are okay I guess but Mom’s are such conservative snobs. Mom doesn’t even like them! I don’t know if they are trying to mend bridges by using me and Jenny as pawns but I’m not going.”

Brian ignores the f-bomb, partly because he doesn’t give a shit, but also because he can see how upset his kid is by this and he is sort of pissed for him. The potential upcoming visit isn’t a huge deal in the long run but sometimes Mel and Lindsay didn’t give the kids enough independence when it came to decision making. Gus was 14 and if he really didn’t want to go and spend time with them then he shouldn’t have to. But he seems so vehement about it.

“Are you wanting to spend the summer with your friends? Penelope?”

“Yeah. And if I have to go there I will barely get to see them. Because after I go to Pittsburgh, I’m going to come stay here with you for a few weeks, right?”

“I’d like you to. But if you want to stay in Toronto so you can see your friends, I’ll understand.”

“But then I won’t get to see you.”

“Gus, I would go up to Toronto to visit, you know that.”

“I like it here though. I like getting breaks from them to see you, Eric, and Lily. I love them but they argue a lot and they are so invasive.”

“Okay. You know I want you come here too. I’ll talk to them for you, alright? I’ll try to make sure they know how upsetting this is for you and see if they’ll at least shorten the stay by a couple of weeks.”

“Alright. Thanks, dad. You’re the best even though you wouldn’t let me get alcohol.”

“I’ll give you a beer on your sixteenth birthday. Maybe.”

Gus does lighten up a little at that and they finish their meal in better spirits.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They spend a few hours walking around the East and West Villages. They catch some Australian horror film at the IFC called Babadook. It’s actually pretty frightening and even made Brian feel uneasy while he watched it. They hop on the 2 train after so Brian can show Gus the new house. They won’t get the keys for another couple of weeks but Gus already loves it just by seeing the exterior and they walk along the promenade to look at the view. Around 6, the cab pulls up in front of the apartment. It’s only the two of them there since Eric and Lily went out to dinner with Cynthia and wouldn’t be back until for at least another hour. So Gus and Brian end up playing poker on the coffee table. The apartment’s quiet and Gus seems at ease. Shame he will have to pull him out of it.

“So I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Gus raises an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“How long have you and Penelope been together?”

“About three months, why?”

“Well, she’s your first girlfriend. You’re fourteen. You’re at an age where a lot changes and urges start to occur...”

God damn it, why is this suddenly so hard? He is Brian fucking Kinney, not some elderly sex ed teacher.

Gus does get the hint though because his eyes widen and he may be blushing a little.

“Uh, Dad? It’s fine, I understand how that stuff works.”

“Really? How well?”

“Um…”

“Gus…have you and Penelope had-“

“No! Dad, no. I swear we haven’t. I mean we’ve-…forget it, we’ve done nothing.”

Brian knows his kid well enough to know he isn’t completely lying. He’s a shitty liar so that’s easy. Thus, Brian can also tell that he isn’t being completely truthful either. He is guessing that Gus had gotten at least a little lucky and made it to second base but is too embarrassed to tell him.

“You know I’m not going to judge you over anything. Not only is it natural, but I would have no right.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

Brian raises an eyebrow at him and Gus winces a little.

“Sorry. I mean, I’ve heard things. Not for a while but Ma has mentioned how you used to be when you were younger and I remember you and Mom arguing about it when you first got with Eric. I just know you’ve hooked up with a lot of men. But it’s different with girls. So you don’t have to-“

“I’ve had sex with women, Gus.”

Gus gapes at him like that is the most preposterous thing he has ever heard and Brian rolls his eyes at his son’s expression.

“You? You’ve slept with women?”

“A few. Three, to be exact.”

“Wha-…Seriously? Who? Tell me about them.”

“I wanted to talk about you, Sonny Boy.”

“But you just dropped that like it’s nothing. You’re gay!”

“I’m aware.”

“I’m just curious.”

Whatever. Once Gus hears that his dad actually did sleep with his mom after all, he might gross out and they can get back on topic.

“Well, the last time it happened was a mistake. I was 24, really drunk and high, and don’t really remember any of it. I had gone to some breeder party, no offense. It hadn’t been my scene but a coworker had invited me so I decided to go for the free booze. Everyone drank too much, including me, and I woke up next to some woman I barely recognized. I don’t think I got her name. She woke up about the same time I did and asked if I was up for round two. The mere thought grossed me out and had me jumping out of bed, throwing my clothes on, and running out the door.”

Gus looks a little embarrassed but snorts at that.

“So what? The girls were just one-time hook ups?”

“No, I slept with your mom a few times in college. We were even sober the last time. That time had made it absolutely clear to me that I was way more into men and that your mom was more into women. I guess she was my college experimental phase.”

Predictably Gus looks horrified and is probably seconds away from covering his ears and asking for brain bleach.

“Well, who was the other person?”

That takes Brian by surprise. He hadn’t expected Gus to want to know anymore after the Lindsay reveal. He didn’t think of the first girl he had ever slept with very often, but when he did it did hurt just a little bit.

“Her name was Maria. We had Advanced Chemistry together. She wasn’t conventionally pretty. Sort of nerdy but cute in her own way, I guess. She was my lab partner and I knew she had a crush on me. I didn’t feel the same of course but I liked talking to her even though she was really shy. We were juniors in high school and I was positive that I was gay at that point since I had been hooking up with other guys at the school plus I had started going to Liberty Avenue to hook up with guys who knew what they were doing. But a small part of me wanted to try sleeping with a woman, just to see what the fuss was about. Plus if I did end up liking it, I might have an easier time.”

Gus is listening intently as Brian takes a breath and continues.

“I had asked her to hang out after school a few times and we did homework together. I really liked having her as a friend. She had all this knowledge and I liked how that challenged me. Since I knew that she liked me and I was curious, I ended up kissing her and we ended up having sex in my bedroom. It wasn’t bad. I got the job done so I guess I enjoyed it enough. We actually hooked up a couple of times. But I always fantasized about men and sleeping with her didn’t change that in the slightest. I ended up telling her I was gay before she could get too attached. I didn’t want to lead her on more than I already had. Maria was hurt but she still wanted to be friends. We were actually close for a while. She the first person I talked to about being gay, besides Michael, Debbie, and Vic. Her home life was similar to mine and we connected because of that too. She was a friend outside of Mikey. I probably should have invited her to Debbie’s or something but she had a few of her own friends as well and our friendship was a quiet but personal and unique one. We kept in touch for a while after graduating but she got a full ride to UCLA. She had an aunt out there who was willing to help her out as well. So we wrote each other and called once or twice but the long distance charges were a bitch back then so that didn’t happen much. We drifted apart because that’s life and after a while I didn’t think about her much at all. But sometimes people from your past will pop up in your head and one day she did and that made me wonder whether or not she became a doctor like she had wanted to. I googled her online and found her obituary. She had become a surgeon but died a month before I looked her up from cancer. She left a husband and two sons behind.”

Gus was looking at him with such sadness and looked like he was seconds away from hugging him because the kid was way too sensitive. Brian hadn’t planned on sharing that much of the story with him. It just sort of poured out. In all honesty, Brian had been surprised about how much that news had upset him at the time. It had been right after he and Justin had broken up and Brian was already feeling stressed out, depressed, and raw due to that. It hadn’t helped his mindset at all. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t shed a few tears for her. He ended up making a huge contribution in her name to a charity the obituary said she supported.

“That’s so sad. I’m sorry, Dad.”

“We hadn’t spoken since college and it was a long time ago. Now that you know some stuff about me that no one else knows, let’s get back on topic. Gus makes a face but Brian says, “Don’t look at me like that, it’s important. I don’t care if you decide to have sex. Sex is fucking incredible. I personally love it. I know you are young but I started having sex at your age so you need to know the stuff I am about to tell you. One: be safe and wear a condom. I bought you some and if you would need more and you’re too embarrassed to buy them, all you have to do is ask. But I cannot stress enough how important that is. You do not need to knock a girl up or catch an STD, especially in high school. I am not becoming a fucking grandpa any time soon. It’s just not going to happen and if you throw this piece of advice away and make me one I will help you out but have an age crisis and bitch about it the whole time. If you want a kid down the road, make sure you are mature enough and stable enough to support one and it is with someone you like. As for STDs, if you are sleeping with multiple people, get checked frequently.

“Dad, I would NEVER cheat on Penelope. I only want to be with Penelope.” Gus heatedly argues and Brian doesn’t mean to scoff but he sort of does.

“Even if you are with one person monogamously your entire life and you and Penelope live happily ever after, still get checked out every so often, alright?”

Gus nods and Brian continues.

“As long as you wear one, you should be fine. Also, you’re young. It’s okay if at one point you start to experiment with what you like and who you do it with. If you end up sleeping with a guy, it doesn’t mean you’re gay just like how sleeping with women didn’t make me straight or even bi. Don’t deny yourself anything like that in fear of a stigma and don’t force yourself to try something you just don’t feel comfortable doing. And don’t let anyone pressure you into doing anything, I don’t care who they are. I know you wouldn’t pressure anyone to do anything they didn’t want to do. You are an amazing person, so I know you know not to do that. But if anyone tries to pressure you, don’t cave in out of obligation. And if anyone manages to force you to do anything, I don’t care if it is a woman or a man, you fucking tell someone. I don’t want you hiding that or brushing it off like it’s nothing. It will end up fucking with your head so if anything like that happens, tell me and your moms and we’ll help you through it, you hear me? If you decide to hook up with someone you don’t know later on and you feel like there is something off and you feel uncomfortable, leave. And if you need to talk about something, whether it is sex, not wanting to have sex yet, any kind of confusion, or if anything happens that you just need to get off your chest, you know I’m not going to judge you. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed if you need advice or just someone to talk to.”

“Okay, Dad. I get it. I promise I’ll talk to you if I need advice.” Gus tells him, still a bit embarrassed but otherwise okay.

“Good. I love you, Sonny boy. I just want you to be safe.”

“I know, Dad. I love you too.”

Brian stacks the cards and gets up off the floor. He walks over to where his son is still sitting and kisses the top of his head. He feels Gus lean his head against him and even though Brian still has a lot on his mind, having his son here makes it a little easier to deal with.