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Author's Chapter Notes:

For a man who used to be only about himself, Brian is dead set on mending other people's wounds today.

The 28th comes along and Brian is trying to get Lily to settle down. Lily is out of her mind with excitement since today is the day that her Grandma Debbie and Grandpa Carl are coming in. She had started calling them that on her own since JR called them that and Lily hero worshipped her every so often. She didn’t really have anyone else who fit into the role of a grandparent. She did call Eric’s father Grandpa James and Eric’s mother Abuela Luisa as a formality. They did genuinely seem to care about her and like her when they had come to visit her a few times but Lily was smart. She knew that they didn’t like Brian and that they were cold to Eric. And for a girl who rarely ever met a stranger, it was almost disconcerting how much she closed up around them and would cling onto Brian’s leg in a form of silent solidarity. She seemed to like her Aunt Amanda and Uncle George okay when she met them but they weren’t close to their brother either so they rarely came around and they themselves had only gone down to North Carolina to visit once for Eric’s grandfather’s funeral. She has never met Cynthia’s mother. Even though Lily doesn’t know that Cynthia is her biological mother yet, they had planned for Cynthia’s mother to meet her at one point but she ended up getting alcohol poisoning and Cynthia decided that she really didn’t want Lily around that. It had been a relief because Brian and Eric honestly didn’t either but didn’t want to hurt Cynthia’s feelings by saying so. She had never met Joan or Claire. They wouldn’t see her as family anyway and Brian didn’t want to put her through that. He felt like she wouldn’t warm up to them either and Brian would rather have her be her talkative and hyperactive self rather than some shy and quiet pod person. Most of the time.

 

He wishes she would settle down now though. Don’t get him wrong, Brian loves Lily ridiculously so. His friends would still get a little taken aback when it came to how open and loving he was around her. That didn’t mean she didn’t drive him insane. Ever since he reminded her this morning that her Grandma Debbie and Grandpa Carl were coming in, she has been off the walls. It doesn’t take a lot. She got like this whenever she knew someone was coming to visit but about other things too. She got like this when they told her they were seeing The Lion King on Broadway. She got like this when they went to Build-a-Bear. She had even gotten like this a few months ago when Dora and Friends: Into the City premiered on Nickelodeon. Eric made popcorn for her and that led her to believe it was an exciting and groundbreaking occasion. He doesn’t know why they still watch Dora. Eric usually says that he wants her to watch it because she should be connected to her heritage but she’s only a quarter Mexican and while that’s a significant amount, why does she have to watch it several times a week? And in all honesty, Lily’s Spanish is actually pretty good already since Eric is fluent and has worked with her. But sometimes, plopping her in front of the television got her to settle down.

 

“-And I can show Grandma Debbie my new dresses and we can bake cookies together and we can walk around the park-“ Lily continued as she stood next to Brian’s seat as she jumped up and down.

 

“Go watch Dora. I think they play it around this time.”

 

“They do?!”

 

“Even if they don’t you can put a movie in as long as you settle down. Jesus, kid. You’re jumping off the walls.”

 

Lily has the decency to look bashful for maybe three seconds before running over to the television and finding Nickelodeon.

 

“Daddy, this is Bubble Guppies. I don’t like Bubble Guppies.”

 

“Since when?”

 

“Since now. It’s for babies.”

 

Brian sighed and got up to look through Lily’s DVDs and picked a few for her.

 

“Which one do you want to watch? Anastasia, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, or The Wizard of Oz?”

 

“Um….”

 

Brian wants to throw his hands up in the air and say fuck it when Lily starts doing Eeenie Meenie Miney Moe. However, he does smile a little when she looks up at him with a grin and says, “My DADDY! told me to pick the very best one and you shall be it!”

 

Her little left pointer finger lands on The Wizard of Oz so Brian puts it in and sits down on the couch. Lily is on the floor in front of the television for a little bit but takes Brian by surprise by jumping into his lap when the witch comes out.

 

Brian and Lily hear the door open and Eric walks in and hangs up his coat. He walks over and kisses Lily on her cheek. He bends down to give Brian a kiss and Brian reaches up to pull him in by the nape of his neck to press his lips against Eric’s. Eric does a double take and smiles.

 

“You shaved your beard!”

 

Brian snorts and rubs his jaw.

 

“I think it took Lily a few seconds to recognize me when she woke up.”

 

“You had it for a few months. I missed looking at that face.” Eric tells him as he nuzzles and kisses Brian’s cheek.

 

“Papa, you’re blocking the TV,” Lily says as she exaggeratedly tilts her head to see the screen.

 

“I’m sorry, baby.”

 

Eric goes on the other side of Lily and sits down. Brian looks over his daughter’s head to talk to him.

 

“How did the meeting go?”

 

“Good. Bensonhurst is so out of the way though. I was on the D train for at least an hour there and and possibly longer back. I’m glad I left here early. I heard it was sketchy but it didn’t look that bad. It’ll be a good place for a synagogue. The lot they have is close to the beach. I have to figure out some extra precautions though in case another Hurricane Sandy hits.”

 

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

 

“Strong foundation, thick walls, build up the first floor so it’s pretty far above ground. Shouldn’t be too hard since they want it made out of stone. The city gave the community a grant for it so the extra work won’t be coming out of their pockets too much.”

 

“That’s good. You have the designs drawn out?”

 

“Yeah, a few of them actually. They are wanting to go old school and have an intricate Renaissance style building so I’ve drawn out some potential carvings as well.”

 

“Would you show them to me later? I want to see them.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Brian and Eric had talked a little more after Brian had gotten back from the office yesterday. He tried to be more open and make sure Eric knew how sorry he was for being such an asshole on Christmas. Things were still a little tender and shaky but they were getting back to normal. In the long run, that one night would probably end up being just some stupid thing that had happened but Brian still made sure that Eric knew that they could go out for New Year’s like they originally planned rather than go to Justin’s gallery. Eric had shot down backing out though and said, “We already said we would go. The rest of our family will be there as well. Just play nicer this time, alright?” Brian had agreed but he was nervous to face Justin again. He didn’t want to apologize. Justin knew him well enough to know that if he behaved differently it meant that he knew he was a dick so maybe he wouldn’t have to. He’d figure it out.

 

“We still going out to eat for dinner later?”

 

“Yeah Debbie and Carl’s flight got in this morning and we’ll meet them plus Michael, Ben, Hunter, and the kids around 5:30 at Carmine’s.”

 

“Fuck, Brian.” Eric quickly looks at Lily to see if she caught that but she’s too wrapped up in the Cowardly Lion’s song, “That’s close to Port Authority. At rush hour too.”

 

“We have a reservation. It should be fine.”

 

“Still not looking forward to walking through that though.”

 

“You and me both. But Debbie wanted to go for their ‘enormous portions at an affordable price.’ It’s supposed to be good but I told her I would take her somewhere classier and not as crowded. Debbie’s not really about that though.”

 

“That’s true. I hope Lily doesn’t want to walk around. You’d think she would have had enough of Times Square.”

 

“No. I like Times Square.” Lily tells them distractedly as she watches her movie, “We going now?”

 

Eric sighs and ruffles her hair. He gets up to start making lunch for Lily and asks if Brian wants anything. Brian tells him no because he has eaten way too much these last few days and he is going to be eating a shit ton of carbs tonight, so no thank you.

 

After Lily eats her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and finishes the movie, she starts to get restless. Brian ends up taking her to the small and enclosed park a few blocks down while Eric takes a nap since he got up at 5 am. They walk down and Lily is about to dart off when Brian says, “Hey! Get back here!”

 

Lily reluctantly walks back towards Brian.

 

“You know the rules. Stay close to where I can see you. If you can’t see me then you better be finding me in 10 seconds. I am going to be at that bench right next to the swings, alright? Do not go past that flagpole over there.”

 

“Okay, Daddy.”

 

Lily ran off to play with a little boy and girl around her age on the tire swing and Brian fended off a couple of mothers’ advances. Women who would flirt and compliment him on how beautiful his daughter happened pretty frequently.

 

“She is an absolute doll. With those dark ringlets and those big brown eyes.”

 

“Yeah, she takes more after her father.”

 

“Oh...yes, I suppose I can see a little bit of you in her. You are very handsome and it’s obvious she’ll grow up to be gorgeous.”

 

“I meant her other father.”

 

“...So she’s your step-daughter?”

 

“No, she’s my daughter.”

 

“Oh....Oh! Okay. Well, it was nice talking to you.” They would usually say as they blushed and walked away.

 

It may be awful but Brian always enjoyed making those women a little uncomfortable.

 

Every once in a while Brian would hear Lily say, “Daddy! Watch this!” and she would go down a slide or climb a few feet on the jungle gym. She was having fun and staying pretty close. Of course it is when Brian takes his eyes off of her for a second to answer Michael’s text when he hears her crying.

 

Brian is off the bench in a heartbeat and running over to Lily. Even with her jeans on, she managed to fall and scrape her knee so bad that she was bleeding through the denim.

 

“Hey! Shhh, let me see.”

 

Lily is sobbing so hard that she’s hiccuping her breaths in and out. Brian rolls up her pants leg and tries to be careful of the wound and shit, it looks painful.

 

“Calm down, it’s okay. What happened?”

 

Lily, with tears streaming down her face, suddenly fills with rage and points to a red-headed boy around six or so at the top of the slide and yells, “He p-pushed me off the ladder!”

 

“Did not!” the little shit bastard yells down with a fucking smirk on his face.

 

“YOU DID TOO!!!!!” Lily screams up at him, her face red with anger and her nose dripping with snot.

 

“Baby, forget about him. He’ll grow up and amount to nothing,” Brian shoots the fucker another glare as he runs past him to go back up the slide, “I’ll carry you back to the apartment, okay? Put your arms around my neck.”

 

Lily does and swings her legs around Brian’s torso, only to keep crying into the right side of his neck. He starts to walk away from the scene of the crime when the mother of the demon spawn comes up to him.

 

“Sir, I assure you that Colton would never push her. He’s a good boy. She probably just took a hard fall and wanted someone to blame because she’s upset.”

 

“Bullshit! He could have made her break something! Now go control your sociopath of a kid!” Brian snaps, causing the woman to recoil. He opens the fence and leaves the park.

 

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Brian gets Lily into the living room, gently sits her on the couch, and goes to get the first aid kit that Eric keeps in the bathroom.

 

“I’m going to clean your knee before I bandage it up, okay?”

 

“‘K-Kay…” Lily whimpers off as Brian gently cleans her knee with a wet soapy washcloth and makes sure there isn’t any gravel stuck in her knee. Her little hands were scraped in the fall as well so he cleaned those too. As he puts antibiotic ointment on her, he tries to distract her by getting her to talk about Disney shit. She gets through it and Brian is ready to bandage up her knee.

 

“Pick a bandage.”

 

“Minnie Mouse…” She tell him quietly, still sniffling. Brian ends up having to use gauze and tape, then a couple of Minnie Mouse bandages on top to keep Lily satisfied.

 

It’s then when Eric comes out of the bedroom and looks over to where Brian is bandaging up her knee.

 

“What happened, honey?” he says as he rushes over to Lily so he can sit next to her and stroke her hair.

 

“I was going up the slide because I wanted to go down the slide and I was only a few steps away from the top but a really mean boy grabbed me and said, ‘Get out of the way, brat!’ I’m not a brat! But he shoved me off the ladder and I got a boo-boo on my knee and my hands too! I hate him!”

 

“The kid just fucking smirked about it too. His mother refused to believe that her precious angel was an asshole.”

 

“Yeah! He fuck-ing smirked about it!” Lily confirms, slightly stumbling over the new word.

 

“Lily Piper!” Eric then shot Brian a glare, who just shrugs, kisses her bandaged knee, and gets up off the floor.

 

“Give her a pass. She’s upset.”

 

“She can have one but not you. Don’t say that word in front of her.”

 

“You did earlier.”

 

“Yeah, well...she was distracted!” Eric says, trying to hold in a laugh.

 

“Uh huh. Seriously though, he really did smirk. I wanted to knock him off the slide and see how he liked it.”

 

“How old was he?”

 

“I don’t know, maybe six?”

 

“And he pushed a three year old?!”

 

“3 and a half.” Lily says, “More than that. My birthday is coming up real soon.”

 

“It’s not for another three months, nine days, and…” Eric pauses and looks at the clock, “five hours.”

 

“Nuh uh. I will be four next Wednesday.”

 

“I beg to differ.”

 

“Maybe she hit her head,” Brian says as he squints his eyes at her.

 

Eric looks sharply at Lily, takes her face in his hands and checks her pupils.

 

“Does your head hurt?”

 

“No, my knee hurts. I told you that. And my hands. See?” Lily says as she shows Eric the scrapes she got when she caught herself.

 

“Well, if your head starts hurting you tell us. And you aren’t going to be four next Wednesday.”

 

“Why not?” Lily pouts.

 

“Because you just aren’t and I want you to stay little forever,” Eric tells her as he lifts her into his lap and hugs her.

 

“Papa, I’m not little!” Lily tells Eric as she struggles, but then starts giggling when Eric starts tickling her and blowing raspberries on her neck.

 

“Sorry to interrupt the father-daughter moment, but we all need to get dressed and out the door soon.”

 

Lily jumps up and winces at the sting that her knee gives her. She doesn’t let it get to her though because she twirls around on her good leg, leaps, and runs for her bedroom.

 

“I wanna wear my blue dress you got me! I HAVE to wear that one.” Lily says as she takes Brian’s hand to drag him to her room.

 

“Lily, you’d have to wear tights with that. You need to wear something more comfortable so it won’t touch your knee so much. Be practical.”

 

Lily spins around to face him with pursed lips and puts her hands on her hips.

 

“And what am I gonna wear, Daddy? Huh?”

 

Such a drama princess.

 

“Your black pants and your red sweater.”

 

“Um, no.”

 

After shooting down a few of Brian’s suggestions, Lily finally agrees to wear sweatpants but only under the ankle length Rapunzel dress that Brian bought her a few days before Christmas. She is the only person he knows who can pull that look off.

 

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“Grandma Debbieee!!!” Lily squeals from Eric’s arms as they enter Carmine’s.

 

Eric puts Lily down in front of Debbie and Carl where they proceed give her hugs and kisses.

 

“Grandma, wanna see my dress?”

 

Lily takes off her coat and gives it to Eric, then spins around so Debbie and Carl can get a 360 degree view.

 

“Oh sweetheart, you look absolutely gorgeous! Look at you!” Debbie says to her.

 

“Just like a princess!” Carl adds.

 

“Thank you. Daddy got it for me because it’s the best dress ever.”

 

Brian tries to hide a scowl as Debbie laughs and goes over to pat Brian on the cheek.

 

“How are you doing, kid?” Debbie asks him as she kisses his cheek.

 

“Okay,” He answers her honestly. He has a feeling that she has been caught up by now on how he acted at Emmett and Drew’s.

 

“Yeah, we’ll talk about that later,” Debbie says to him quietly before going over to squeeze Eric in her affectionate grip.

 

“Where is everyone else?” Eric asks as Debbie releases him.

 

“They should be on their way. They ended up going to some panel that Ben was interested in going to. How they got the kids to agree to go, I’ll never know.”

 

Michael, Ben, and Hunter bring Gus and JR with them and get there a few minutes after they did. Gus sits on his father’s right side and Eric sits on his left. Lily is on the other side of Eric and next to JR and the other five people in their makeshift family are on the other side of the table and suddenly Brian feels like he and Eric are sitting on the kid’s side of the table.

 

“So Eric, what’s new?” Debbie asks him as twirls her pasta with her fork.

 

“Well, I have a new project in Brooklyn designing a renaissance style synagogue.”

 

“Oh, I bet it will be beautiful. Post pictures when you’re done so we can see it. Maybe Carl and I will take a trip down to see it in person once you finish it! What else?”

 

“Brian taught Lily a new word today.”

 

“Jesus, which one?”

 

Eric covers his mouth on the right side so Lily can’t see and whispers, “Fuck.”

 

“Oh Brian, why?”

 

Brian scoffs and gives Debbie a look.

 

“Don’t look at me like that. It wasn’t intentional and she has the vocabulary of a 1st grader so it was only a matter of time.”

 

“But still-“

 

“She even used it properly. Granted, she was just copying what I said but I heard the anger in her voice. My little genius…” Brian says as he reaches around Eric to pet her on the head.

 

“And what were you so angry about, Kinney?”

 

“Some Damien wannabe pushed her off the top of the slide. Never was a huge fan of an eye for an eye until that happened.”

 

“Yeah, Grandma! He pushed me off the ladder and hurt my knee. There was a bunch of blood too. He was really mean.”

 

“He fu-sounds it! I hope his mother knows what a brat he is!”

 

“She didn’t care. Basically accused Lily of making it up so I told her off and we left.”

 

Debbie looks over at Lily with a sympathetic look on her face.

 

“Are you feeling better now, sweetheart?”

 

“My knee still hurts some but I feel MUCH better now that I got spaghetti.”

 

“Spaghetti does tend to make things a lot better, yes,” Debbie tells her seriously as she goes back to her own pasta.

 

“Brian, speaking of her vocabulary, she is very advanced for her age. She seems like she has gained a lot of words in the last few months even. Have the two of you thought about getting her tested to see what areas she’s gifted in?” Ben asks them.

 

“We did.” Both Brian and Eric say in unison. They look at each other and Eric is the one to elaborate.

 

“We actually did a month before we moved here. She’s still young but they think at the rate that she is going, she will be at or near a genius IQ level, if she’s not already there. Her math skills are above average. She understands addition and subtraction already. It’s her vocabulary and memory levels that are off the charts. She knows the state capitals. She knows how to say the alphabet forwards and backwards. She knows the planets. She picks up speech and language at a really advanced rate. She also knows how to spell and write her name and a lot of other words as well. She has figured out how to sound out words and is reading now too. She comprehends children’s books easily. She is almost at the same level with those things when it comes to Spanish too. It made Brian want to become fluent because he felt left out, didn’t it babe?”

 

Brian rolled his eyes but didn’t deny it because Eric knew he was on the mark since Brian had been practicing with them and had been getting better.

 

Brian couldn’t deny that he was very proud of how smart she was. But he would be proud of her even if she was like any other almost 4 year old. He was proud of both of his kids and JR too.

 

Hey Lily, say the alphabet backwards,” Michael says to her. Lily throws down her fork and takes on the challenge.

 

“ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA!”

 

“Good job!” several of them tell her and Debbie claps.

 

They part from the rest of the group with Gus and JR in tow and make it back to their apartment for the evening. He hasn’t had all three kids since the summer and he is both looking forward to it and dreading it because he really needs to get laid tonight and he feels like Gus and JR will be easier to wake up if he or Eric get too loud. He’ll wait until the kids are asleep but he needs to get off.

 

And the kids seem to be working in his favor. They stay up for a while to play a couple of board games. Lily ends up getting really tired so Eric takes her to her bed and JR sleeps next to her while Gus stays up for a while longer. Gus ends up getting tired by 10 pm and passes out on the couch, which is really unlike him when he doesn’t have school. So by 10:05, Brian takes Eric to their bedroom and by 10:10 he has his face buried in Eric’s ass and is flicking his tongue in his hole. He adds a finger, then two fingers, and Eric muffles a moan against his pillow. He pulls his fingers out along with his tongue and tenderly kisses Eric’s cheeks and lower back, slowly leading himself back up to Eric’s shoulders. He takes a hold of his cock and lines it up with Eric’s hole and slowly pushes in. Eric arches his back at the intrusion and Brian lets himself sink in gradually.

 

Brian really wants to let loose but he knows that it might cause the two of them to get loud so he keeps his thrusts steady, quickens his pace, and doesn’t fuck Eric as hard as he’d like to but it feels so fucking good anyway. Eric’s cock is rock hard and is dripping with pre-cum so Brian lets himself come in Eric’s ass and flips him over so he can suck him off. Eric lasts less than a minute and shoots his load into Brian’s mouth.

 

“That was…fuck…” Eric manages to gasp out as his eyes close a little.

 

“Fantastic?”

 

“Yeah…” Eric confirms as he starts to drift off.

 

“Tired already? I thought you took a nap today.”

 

“I only actually slept for a half hour. I’m so tired…” Eric tells him.

 

Brian takes sympathy and kisses his shoulder.

 

“I’ll get a washcloth and clean you off.”

 

“Mmm, that’d be nice…”

 

Brian goes into the bathroom connected to their bedroom and gets a washcloth from the bathroom closet. He gets it a little damp with warm water so he can clean off his partner. Eric is basically in and out of consciousness as Brian cleans him and when Brian takes the washcloth back to the bathroom and cleans himself up. When he comes back, Eric is asleep. It’s not even 11 yet so Brian decides to read. He’s a few pages into a book when his phone starts to vibrate on the nightstand. He picks it up and sees Debbie’s name on the screen.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Wanna come downstairs so I can get you a drink? I would have brought pot but didn’t want to be frisked at the airport,” he hears her voice say as she cackles.

 

“Debbie, what the hell? Did you come here by yourself?”

 

“I’ll have you know that I can take care of myself, thank you very much. I have pepper spray on me. Now come on. There’s a bar open across the street.”

 

“…Fine.”

 

“See ya in a few!” Debbie chirps before he hears the click on the line.

 

Brian quietly gets dressed and writes a quick note telling Eric, “Apparently going bar hopping with Debbie Novotny” in case he wakes up before he gets back. He goes out the door and locks it behind him, then takes the elevator down and sees Debbie sitting in the lobby. She sees him approach her and she gives him a big smile.

 

“Mind telling me why you’re here at 11 o’ clock at night?”

 

“The night’s just started. The Brian I knew 10 years ago would just be picking up his first trick of the night. Can’t a lady have a little bit of fun too?”

 

“You’re 63.”

 

“Don’t age shame me! Now get that cute little butt out the door!”

 

Brian raises his eyebrow in skepticism but obeys her. She makes small talk with him as they walk and they make their way into the breeder bar across the street from his building. It’s not very crowded so Brian and Debbie get seats at the bar and order drinks.

 

“So I heard that you finally saw Justin again.”

 

Brian looks over at her but then goes back to staring straight ahead and doesn’t say anything.

 

“In all honesty, it took you both long enough. It’s been hard on us, you know? Moving things around because you both were too chicken shit to face each other. We didn’t want either of you to be upset or uncomfortable.”

 

“You didn’t have to.”

 

“Yes, we did. Because every time Justin’s name was brought up you would flinch and we could tell how much it upset you, even after Eric came into the picture. And the times that Justin came up to visit and we asked you to come visit too, you refused. There were times when Justin did the same thing. We didn’t want to have you both come without any warning that the other would be there because that wouldn’t be fair to the two of you. I know how fucking hurt you were. I hated seeing you so upset and heartbroken. I wasn’t going to push you into something you weren’t ready for.”

 

“I get it, Mother. But you can stop worrying now. I’m a big boy and I can handle it,” Brian tells her sarcastically as he sips his beam.

 

“Then why did you give Justin and Nathan a hard time at Emmett’s?”

 

“I wasn’t that bad.”

 

“My son told me differently.”

 

“Your son is a snitch.”

 

“Ah, you know me. I was pressing him for some juicy gossip.”

 

Brian just shakes his head because he figured.

 

“I wanna know if you are alright.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“What about you and Eric?”

 

“We’re good now.”

 

“I’m glad. He’s a good man. I really think the two of you are fantastic together. And I know how much you love him-”

 

“We’re getting married.”

 

Debbie puts her hand to her mouth and her eyes fill a little with tears.

 

“Oh, honey. I’m so happy for you. Did you ask him or-"

 

“He asked me. Got down on one knee in Chicago like I was some maiden in waiting,” Brian snorts as he takes another sip.

 

“I would have paid to see that.”

 

“I told Justin before I told anyone else. I took him aside into the hall when no one was watching. I was a fucking asshole about it.”

 

“I’m not that surprised. You tended to bring out the best in each other but sometimes the worst too.”

 

“Yeah, I guess.”

 

“You’re coming to his gallery on New Year’s, right?”

 

Brian nods.

 

“I know it’s rough for you to be around him, even after all this time. I know it probably hurts to see him with another man. But remember that you are with someone else too, Brian. You have a wonderful partner and a beautiful little girl with him. Don’t strain that because you and Justin are in the same city again. And I think you should be a little bit grateful to Justin. If it weren’t for him, you would probably still be turning tricks every night and you might have never been tempted to build the center in the first place. He taught you how to love and in a way helped you achieve what you have now.”

 

Brian stays silent. He never really thought of it that way but deep down he knows she’s right. He can’t think of how his life would have progressed if Justin or Eric hadn’t entered it. He probably wouldn’t be nearly as close with Gus. He wouldn’t have Lily at all. He would be so empty and lonely but probably wouldn’t even know it.

 

“And he’s going through a really rough time right now. Take it easy on him.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“I shouldn’t be saying this. I should keep my mouth shut. But I have had a little too much to drink and I’m gonna tell you anyway. I met with Jennifer for a little bit after I got in. We had lunch together, just us girls, and caught up. I guess Craig called Justin while he was at Emmett’s. He was drunk and crying over the phone. I guess he finally saw what an asshole he was to his son and drunk dialed him. Justin was so worried and upset that he left without saying anything to Jennifer. He hadn’t spoken to his dad since Craig had him arrested in Pittsburgh. He’s in a hard place right now because of that.”

 

As Debbie speaks, Brian feels a deep wave of guilt and worry hit him. Fucking Craig. He always hated the bastard. Brian clears the lump out of his throat.

 

“Is Justin okay?”

 

“I don’t know. I haven’t gotten to see him yet. I think Carl, Michael, Ben, and I are going to meet Justin and the rest of his family and do something tomorrow. The girls might come too but it’s not set in stone. But just keep it in mind that he’s going through that, alright?”

 

Brian nods and gets his wallet out to pay for the drinks but Debbie stops him.

 

“I’ll get our drinks and the tip. You paid for our tickets and our hotel rooms. It is the very least I can do.”

 

Debbie puts down some money for the bartender and they leave. Debbie is about to walk back to the train but Brian stops her. She’s had a little too much and, while she’s not drunk, he feels uncomfortable letting her go back so late by herself especially with the transfer she would need to take. Brian is calculating where she can sleep in the apartment, but a couple of cabs pass by and Brian manages to get one to pull over and Debbie gets in. He makes her take some money to cover the fare. He waves her off and goes back up to the silent apartment.

 

The living room is pretty dark and he doesn’t want to turn the light on and wake up Gus so he just turns the light on in the kitchen and that’s just enough to see what’s around him in the other room. He feels something heavy inside him and he knows he won’t get to sleep soon but he can’t just sit here and do nothing. He feels even guiltier about what happened now. Craig’s call had to have happened after Brian talked to him. He seemed mostly okay before that. And he knows that Justin wouldn’t have been able to brush a call like that off. If the situation were reversed and Joan called Brian crying over him or whatever, he would be fucked up over it too. It had to be even worse for Justin because at one point in his life, he actually had a good relationship with his father. But it’s not like Brian can do anything about it.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

He doesn’t mean to go through Eric’s wallet. He really doesn’t.

 

But Justin had given his card to them in case they needed anything and now Brian needs to call Justin.

 

He looks at the card and sees that it has his personal cell as well. He sneaks back out into the hallway and with shaky hands, Brian dials the number.

 

It rings a few times and Brian is ready to chicken out and hang up but he hears Justin’s voice on the line.

 

“Hello?”

 

Brian’s throat dries up and he can’t speak. He tries to get a sound out but suddenly he doesn’t know what to say.

 

“Dad, is that you?”

 

“No.”

 

“Brian?”

 

“…Yeah. Hey.”

 

“Hey?”

 

Brian doesn’t say anything because he didn’t plan this out. He is supposed to be good with words but he can’t figure out what to say. He hears Justin sigh.

 

“Why are you calling, Brian? It’s almost 1 am.”

 

“I don’t know. I wanted to check up on you.”

 

“Well, all is well. You know, you have some nerve. The way you acted at-“

 

“Debbie and I got drunk and she told me your dad called. I know that you’re not okay.”

 

He can hear Justin take a few deep breaths.

 

“Debbie told you? So it’s just going through the grapevine now, is that it?”

 

“Don’t be mad at her. I don’t think she meant to.”

 

“Well, it’s none of your business. I can take care of it myself.”

 

“Fine. Forget I even called. Maybe I’ll say hi to you and your boyfriend on New Year’s.”

 

Brian is about to hang up but he hears Justin say, “Brian, wait.”

 

Brian stops and keeps the phone against his ear.

 

“What?”

 

“…I don’t know what to do.”

 

“I figured.”

 

“What am I supposed to say to him?”

 

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

 

“I know but he was so fucking upset and hard on himself. Molly told me some stuff and I think he might be depressed or having a breakdown. I wish I could ignore that but I can’t. It has kept me up the last couple of nights and I can’t stand thinking of him like that but he hurt me so fucking m-much and I don’t want to get hurt again,” Justin’s voice cracks as he starts to get overwhelmed. And it makes Brian's heart ache.

 

“I know, Sunshine. You don’t deserve this. Do what you think is best for you, not for him.”

 

“I don’t know what is best.”

 

“…If my mother called me trying to apologize after all these years and was a wreck while doing it, it would piss me off. But fuck, I know it would mess me up too. I tell myself that I made my own family and I don’t need Joan and Claire. But I can be fucking weak. If I thought they were genuinely trying to patch things up and wanted to get to know me, I would be on my guard, but I would probably end up giving them a chance. Because my family actually giving a shit and accepting me was the thing I wanted the most for a really long time.”

 

Justin lets out a sob and Brian hears him sniffle and quickly get himself under control.

 

“I wish you could have had that, Brian.”

 

“I’m happy with what I have.”

 

“I know you are. I’m glad you are happy.”

 

“But what I mean is that if you think you want to give him a chance, go ahead and do it. Don’t forgive and forget because fuck that. He has to work for it. But do it for you, not for him.”

 

“I’m thinking about it. It’s just hard.”

 

They both don’t say anything for a few seconds. Justin decides to change the subject.

 

“Did Lily hang up her painting?”

 

Brian lets out a laugh, “Yeah, even though we’re moving to Brooklyn soon and she’ll have to hang it up again at the house. She named the princess Lily the Second and you already know about Chico. She told JR all about it even though JR could see it for herself.”

 

“I’m glad she saw the resemblance with the princess.” Justin laughs.

 

Brian clears his throat.

 

“I better get back inside. Everyone is already asleep so I should head to bed. I just called to check up on you…and to say I’m sorry. About what happened last time. I was a dick.”

 

“You were. Although hearing you apologize is sort of shocking.”

 

“I’ve grown up a bit.”

 

“Yeah, you really have. I’m glad this is ending on a better note. But can you promise me you’ll be nicer to Nathan too the next time you see him?”

 

“I’ll try.”

 

“Please do. Don’t feel too guilty about it, but Christmas is an awful day for him.”

 

“What, is he Jewish?”

 

“No,” Justin takes a breath, “His mother killed herself on Christmas when he was a kid. He never tried to celebrate it since.”

 

“Fuck…”

 

“You didn’t know, Brian. But he’s had a really hard life and that was just part of it. It would mean a lot if you try to be less intimidating next time. And don't tell him I told you that. I shouldn't have. Molly doesn't even know. I'm as bad as Debbie, I guess."

 

“I’ll be nicer to him.”

 

“Goodnight, Brian. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”

 

“Yeah, okay. Bye.”

 

Brian hangs up and waits another minute before he goes back inside. He needs to catch his breath because for some reason he feels like that phone call was monumental.

Chapter End Notes:

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