It takes Eric a while to even open his eyes. It’s as if his eyelids were weights and just lifting them was a strain. Groaning, he rolls onto his side and sticks an arm out, skin brushing the vacant side of the bed.

Once he realizes that something isn’t quite right, his eyes open pretty quickly.

Looking around, memories from yesterday rapidly flood his mind and he quickly comes to the conclusion that he’s not in New York or New Orleans or even Chicago, Pittsburgh, or Saint Bart’s, three places his dreams like to take him on occasion. He is here. In Southport, North Carolina.

“Lily?” he calls out, confused over the lack of curly haired four year olds in the room, “Lily, where are you?”

He gets out of bed and finds his phone on the floor. Picking it up, the only thing he finds is a message from Brian.

Get some rest, you dick. I love you
so much, okay? Fucking jerk.

Feeling a little exasperated and guilty over Brian’s message (and over the fact that it is almost 11 am,) he walks out of the room and looks down the hall.

“Lily?” he says again, a little louder.

He checks the two bathrooms on the floor as well as his sister’s and brother’s old rooms before heading downstairs. The hopes that his mother had just made Lily breakfast are dashed when he finds the kitchen empty, as well as the dining room. He peeks into the living room, the parlor, the entertainment room, his dad’s study. Nothing. He goes out into the sunroom and goes outside, goes to the other side of the pool and, as he looks down the cliff, he sees that the boats are still anchored to the port and there’s no one on the dock.

That’s when he starts to panic.

Biting his lip, he briskly walks back inside and yells, “Mom? Dad?!”

Nothing.

“Fuck,” he mutters, gripping his hair with his left hand. He probably doesn’t have a reason to panic. Maybe they took her to Main Street or for a drive but why wouldn’t they have asked him? They should have fucking asked him. There’s no excuse for that.

He pulls out his phone and calls his mother, but hears her cell in the other room, charging on the desk. She’s been bad about taking her phone places ever since his parents got Nokias in the late 90s. Despite having the newest model of the iphone, she still had barely any use for it.

He tries his father’s number after and it rings a few times before going to voicemail. He tries not to panic. He knows he will chew them out regardless whenever they are back, even if they just took her out for a couple hours to spend some time with her. But the words his mom said several months back keep ringing in his ears. About feeling sorry for Lily. About deserving a mother and a father. It makes him wonder…

No. They wouldn’t just take her.

After calling his dad several times over the next 45 minutes, he starts to think he could be wrong on that point after all. Maybe he should call the police. Fuck, he doesn’t want to have to do that. He’ll call Brian. He doesn’t want to have to do that either but he deserves to know and if Eric kept any potential issues regarding Lily from him, especially after not telling him about the whim to drive to Southport, Brian would probably make Eric sleep on the couch for a year. Or until he got too horny to function. Whichever came first.

He’s halfway through dialing Brian’s number when the word “Dad” comes up on the screen.

“Dad,” he answers urgently.

“Eric?” his father answers, confused and a little concerned, “What’s wrong? What made you call seven times in the last-”

“I called because I don’t know where the fuck Lily is!” he interrupts, louder than he means to, “Why would you think you had the right to just take her wherever you did-”

“Calm down!” his father barks out before taking on a more soothing tone, “Eric, really. Just slow down. What are you talking about?”

“You know what I am talking about!” Eric laughs disbelievingly, “Why are you-”

“Son, I spent the morning at a meeting before hitting the golf course with a few colleagues. I haven’t seen Lily since this morning. She was doing somersaults and playing pretend in the upstairs hallway at around 6:30 and seemed nervous to come downstairs. I got her to come down with me. Your mom was in the pool with her when I left at 8.”

“What?” Eric chokes out, gripping his hair again, “You don’t know where she is?”

“Why?” his dad asks, growing more urgent, “Is your mother there with you? Why are you so-”

“No, she isn’t here with me,” Eric groans out, holding the bridge of his nose, “And, wherever she is, she didn’t bring her damn phone.”

“She always leaves her phone, alright? I get on her about that too. Now, calm down. Her not being there is a good thing. Actually, she mentioned thinking about taking Lily out for breakfast. She most likely took Lily out and let you sleep. Mystery solved.”

“The mystery of ‘Why wasn’t her father informed?’ sure isn’t fucking solved!”

His dad lets out a sigh, “I’ll be home soon. I was about to have lunch at the resort but I will just tell them that there’s an issue back at the house.”

“Don’t bother,” Eric scowls.

“Er-”

It may be a dick move, but Eric hangs up before the man can get his name out.

After about twenty minutes of pacing, he realizes there isn’t much he can do. He can’t stand to be alone with his thoughts right now. He doesn’t want to stress Brian out more than he probably did last night so he calls his sister to vent and she provides a sympathetic ear before telling him she’ll drive the two hours with the boys to crash dinner. He thinks about calling Rick or his brother but, surprisingly, his dad decided to bother, despite Eric’s advice, and comes through the front door.

“I told you not to bother,” Eric mutters before stalking away.

“Yeah, I know. But when have we ever seen eye to eye?” his dad asks him.

Eric turns to glare at him, all while his dad just raises an eyebrow in return.

“Look, Eric-”

“Don’t,” Eric warns.

“I get why you are upset,” the man keeps going, “But I don’t think Louisa meant any harm by taking her out. She...She thinks about Lily all the time. She loves Julian and Carlos but Lily’s her first grandchild and the only girl-”

“For now,” Eric reminds him, “Brian and I are having another daughter. But I suppose if the kid ends up biologically being Brian’s, you both won’t see her as part of the family.”

His dad stares at him for a moment before shaking his head.

“You’re wrong. She’ll still be Lily’s half-sister in that case, right? You’ll adopt her? She’ll be family.”

Eric looks away before sitting down on the couch, “You’ve barely even spoken to Gus.”

“He’s...older. He doesn’t live with the both of you. He’s never really been connected to us.”

“He’s connected to me,” Eric hisses, putting a palm to his chest, “He’s the closest to a son I will probably ever have and you don’t care about him. So why should I believe you care about Lily?”

“God damn it, Eric!” his dad yells out, throwing his hands up in the air, “I didn’t come back home to be accused and insulted. I came home to try to placate you and maybe offer you some company and you’re just twisting everything into another argument!”

The thing is, Eric knows his dad is right, at least partially so. He knows he’s being unfair to an extent and letting everything that has built up pour out sporadically. He’s acting fucking crazy. The distance has made his relationships with them foreign and toxic and the bitterness he holds over it is spilling over before he can even stop it. He can’t even recognize himself.

“I need a few minutes,” Eric whispers, rubbing a palm over his face, “I’m...I’m sorry, alright? I’m not usually like this.”

His father looks at him strangely before nodding his head, “I know.”

Eric diverts his eyes in another direction as he walks out of the room and up the stairs. Even though he’s pissed about his mother taking Lily, he should try to be at least a little productive to get his mind off things.

He ends up going to the attic to dig around in boxes. Even though finding Ellie was barely a reason for coming here, Lily thinks that it was one of the sole reasons. It takes him a while, partly because he will stop and reminisce when he finds a book, a picture, one of his grandfather’s bowties that he ends up slipping in his pocket, games he used to play with his brother and sister. But eventually, he finds her, tucked in a box labeled “Ellie” and that doesn’t make him sniffle at all. She’s wrapped carefully in a bag, protected from dust and dirt and Eric feels grateful and confused as hell about that.

The garbage bag hasn’t completely protected her. She looks a bit worn, but she could have looked like that when she was taken up to the attic over two decades ago. She smells musty and old and he should probably do something about that before giving her to Lily. Taking her down to the first floor, he walks through the living room where his dad’s still sitting tensely and stands in front of him.

“How should I wash this?” he asks, holding the stuffed animal out, “Delicate cycle?”

His dad forces out a chuckle, “Your mother or Delphina would be better people to ask but I washed that damn thing enough times to tell you the answer is yes. And cool water. Warm and hot messes with the glue underneath the eyes.”

Eric gives him a nod, then gives him a quick thanks, before taking Ellie down to the basement and into the washroom to throw her into the machine.

He just needs to figure out what to do until Lily gets back.

Turns out, he doesn’t have much time to ponder because his dad intercepts him in the hall.

“Come on,” he says, now in a pair of khaki swim trunks and a white button down shirt, “Get dressed. We can go out on the boat.”

“What-”

“Just humor me,” his dad interrupts, waving him off, “It’s a nice day and I’m sure as hell not going to spend it in here as you grumble around the house.”

Eric actually forces back a laugh at that, “So you’re going to spend it with me grumbling out in the middle of the ocean?”

“I can always take my chances and jump in if you get to be too much or put me on the spot. I’m a great swimmer. Would have tried for the Olympics. Started training and everything. But then your brother came and then the draft and...that was that.”

“Wait, seriously?” Eric asks, shocked by the reveal.

“Seriously,” his father answers, “I taught you, didn’t I? Now go get dressed.”

Eric doesn’t see himself getting out of it. In all honesty, he doesn’t feel an urgent need to figure out a way to.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of the waves as they leave the bay drown out the silence between them. His father takes his default role of captain as Eric sits on a seat farther down on the deck, trying to get his mind off his daughter. His dad doesn’t take the boat out as far as he has done in the past. Maybe he knows Eric doesn’t want this to be an all day thing, that he wants to be back in an hour or two at most. But if the older man does catch onto that, he doesn’t say anything. He just puts the boat in autosteer and lets it drift as he steps away from the wheel, before going inside the cabin.

“You better make sure that we don’t drift too far out,” Eric calls out, warning him, “I’m not staying out here all day.”

“Oh, I’ve only gotten us lost a couple of times,” his dad waves off as he comes back with two beers, “Like the new wheel? I made the cabin bigger too. Did that myself.”

“I saw,” Eric nods, studying the cabin, “It looks really nice.”

Without another word, his dad reaches over to hand him a beer. Eric stares at it, waiting for some kind of catch. What kind? He really isn’t sure. But the amount of times he has sat down and had a beer with his dad is in the single digits.

“Come on, take it. It’s not like you’ll get drunk and even if you did, I’ve already seen that. Remember whose car you puked in when you were in high school? Besides, I get it delivered special from Vermont and I am the only person they are shipping it to at the moment. A guy there owes me his life and that always gives me perks.”

Eric has to snort at that and takes the beer.

“...I know this one,” Eric comments, studying the label, “Heady Topper. Out of Waterbury, right?”

“How’d you know?”

“I went up there and designed some park structures and a small resort. A more low-key project than I usually take but the people who asked were nice and open-minded. I only went there for the measurements and layout then checked in from time to time through construction but Brian went up with me and discovered it up there. For the record, we did get drunk off of it. But it only took four until I got to that point.”

“Jesus, I don’t know if you’re even mine,” his father looks at him in mock disgust before taking a swig, “We didn’t really drink around you kids but when we went out, your mother could almost drink me under the table when she wanted to. So there’s no reason for you to be such a lightweight.”

“Brian can hold it a lot better than me,” Eric admits, laughing a little, “He loves this brand too. He’ll be pissed if he finds out that they are shipping to someone. I think he asked if they did and they said no.”

“Should have used his advertising executive abilities,” his father surprisingly answers, “Offered them a plan to expand.”

Eric studies his dad for a moment before his lips form a small smile, “Maybe he should have. I’ll let him know you said that.”

His father says nothing to that and just stares out towards the water, almost looking peaceful.

“I think…” Eric starts, taking a chance on the subject, “I think that you would really like him if you got to know him.”

“Hmmm,” his dad hums, so Eric just continues.

“He’s really smart. And a great businessman. Driven, successful. So ambitious that it can be a bit daunting. He’s also a really great dad to Lily and Gus. A great husband, even though he thought he would never be.”

His dad takes a second then nods, “I’m glad he’s a good dad. I’m glad Lily has great parents. She deserves them...Gus too.”

Eric swallows and his dad continues.

“And I know he’s a good businessman and advertising exec. I’ll admit that I can admire him for that.”

“You can?” Eric asks, trying to find a catch again.

But all his dad says is, “Yeah.”

And nothing else.

But he has to know.

“Maybe...maybe we could...fuck, I don’t know...start over,” Eric manages to get out, “Maybe you could come up and stay with us for a couple of days or Brian could come down here. Mama too, if she is open to it. I just...I just really want us to be a family. I always have. I think that’s why I came here on a whim. With Lily asking more questions about when I was a kid and with a new baby on the way...I don’t know. I just...I miss you guys so much. I was so lucky to grow up with you two as my parents. I want Brian to see why that’s true and get to know those people as well.”

His dad sits still for what feels like an eternity, as Eric just waits for an answer. Then, the older man downs his drink, stands up, takes off his shirt, and dives overboard, all while Eric gapes at him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Eric yells, darting out of his seat and storming towards the edge of the boat, “Fuck you, Dad! I was trying to talk to you and you let me think I was fucking getting somewhere and THAT was too much for you?”

“Oh, shut up,” his dad groans as he does the backstroke, “I was open to a heart to heart but you kept on going. It was getting awkward.”

“I can’t believe I thought things would go anywhere!” Eric yells down at him, practically spitting, “I can’t believe-”

“I didn’t say no,” his dad points out.

“What?!” Eric exclaims, “You jumped overboard to get away from a serious conversation. You’re lucky if I don’t leave you here to swim back to shore!”

“Quit being dramatic!”

“I’m the dramatic one?” Eric scoffs, “Let me repeat: You jumped OVERBOARD to get away from your son.”

“I needed to clear my head,” his dad sighs, swimming to the metal ladder to hold onto, “But like I said, I didn’t say no.”

Eric swallows down the lump in his throat before glaring.

“You know, for a smooth and highly rated lawyer, you have some horrific social skills.”

His dad cracks a grin at that and shakes his head, “You and that sarcasm, Eric. You never parted, did you?”

“I’m not being sarcastic.”

His father struggles to give him a straight face but finally manages, at least for a moment.

“I’m sorry. It was bad timing to take a swim.”

“No shit,” Eric grumbles, as he slowly deflates.

His father lets out a sigh as he climbs up the ladder, dripping wet. He approaches Eric slowly, and puts his hands on his son’s shoulders.

“You’re getting me wet-”

“I’ll think about it. I...Damn it, I miss you too, alright? I don’t know if I can fully support you being…”

“Gay?” Eric finishes.

“Yeah. But I want to try to understand. For whatever that’s worth.”

Eric looks away and bites his lip, “It’s worth a lot. I just wish it would have happened a lot sooner.”

His dad breathes out and sits down before crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m starting to...I’m starting to realize that I didn’t...that I didn’t do shit to try to meet you part way, even the times I was tempted to. I love your mother and seeing her so upset and heartbroken...I don’t know, I can’t see her like that. I blamed you. I think I was more upset about that than you being gay. I chose a side and that was a fucked up thing for me to do, when neither of you asked me to do that. If I had maybe tried to become neutral sooner, maybe she would have tried to come around too. When you...when you marry someone and that person is the love of your life...sometimes you don’t think rationally when they are hurting. I can’t explain it but-”

“You don’t have to,” Eric reminds him, flashing his left hand, the sunlight hitting his wedding ring, “When it comes to all of the things that have happened in the last...God, sixteen, seventeen years? Not thinking straight when the love of your life is in pain is one thing that you don’t have to explain to me.”

His dad looks at him silently for a moment before clearing his throat.

“Sucks, doesn’t it?”

Eric lets out a choked laugh, “Yeah, it really does.”

His dad surprisingly looks away to wipe at his eyes and lets out a loud sigh.

“Don’t you dare jump off the boat again,” Eric warns, this time with a small, amused smile.

“I wasn’t going to,” his dad scoffs, then stands back up, “I’m going to try, alright? And I will try to talk to your mom about it. Just...try not to fight with her or rile her up. If I take it slow with her, I think maybe I can convince her to try things out too.”

“And if you can’t?” Eric asks slowly.

His father bites his cheek and looks towards the water again.

“If I can’t, I’ll still love her and accept her decision, even if I am disappointed by it. And I’ll hope that she can accept my decision too and we can make that work.”

His dad turns back to meet his eyes once more. Despite not wanting them to, Eric’s eyes well up and he nods his head.

“Okay,” he chokes out.

The older man’s eyes crinkle as he gives his son a small smile.

“Okay.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When they get back onto the dock and up to the house, Eric only has to wait thirty minutes for his mom to pull into the garage.

He waits by the door and crosses his arms as he watches Lily get unbuckled from some car seat that he’s never even seen-

“It’s Laila’s,” his father answers, as if he’s reading his mind, “She watched her a lot over the summer on weekends.”

And they’re unloading god knows what from the trunk, like Lily needed spoiled more.

“Take it easy on her,” his dad warns him, “Express your grievances but don’t act all pissed.”

Eric is about to glare at him, but then forces himself not to. They came a long way in the last couple hours. He knows it took a lot for his dad to swallow his pride like that and admit that he was wrong. That he was sorry. Eric had to at least try not to flip out at the man’s wife.

“Papa!” Lily squealed as she came through the door, “You’re up! I thought you were gonna sleep forever and ever.”

“You could have done with a few more hours,” he smiles, looking down at her, “I heard you were up at 6:30.”

Lily shrugs and starts to speak at a rapid pace, “I was bored and wanted to play. I asked you to play with me but you just went like this.”

Lily falls to the floor and makes mumbling noises, rolling around as she does so, then jumps back up.

“So I played without you,” she finishes.

Eric bites back a laugh at Lily’s words before forcing himself to smile at his mother.

“Did you give her sugar?”

Before his mom can answer, Lily nods enthusiastically.

“I had lots and lots of sugar! I like sugar because it makes me happy and that means it’s good for me. I got peanut butter and chocolate pancakes at Jimbo’s, then Abuela and I had to do some shoppin’. I got to try on lots of dresses and stuff because I need more, you know? Then we went to the bookstore and me and Abuela picked out books and then we went to the toy store and I got Toymail! I can have one and so can you and we can talk into it and hear our voices and it saves it. That’s cool, huh?”

“Wow, that is cool,” Eric agrees, gritting his teeth, “That’s almost like a real phone.”

Eric then looks towards his mother, “Funny you would buy something like that for her when you don’t even keep your own phone on you yourself.”

His father clears his throat pointedly as his mother waves off the question.

“I don’t use it, so I forget it,” she excuses herself.

Eric lets out a humorless laugh and plasters on a grin, “What books did you get, Lily?”

“Here,” she starts urgently, “I’ll show you. I picked out two and Abuela picked out two. That’s fair, huh?”

Lily runs over to a bag and pulls out four books.

“These are the ones I picked out,” she says, handing him two, “They look great so I just had to get them.”

Eric turns over The Last Stop on Market Street and The Paper Bag Princess then nods, “These look really good. What are the other two?”

Lily takes her choices back and hands the other two over. The first one is Where the Sidewalk Ends, which is one he enjoyed when he was young. After he hands that one back, he looks at the second one. The second, although a classic that would be an innocent choice in any other scenario, makes him clench his fist.

“Are You My Mother?” Eric hums, sending a hard look towards his own mother, “Wonder why you picked that?”

“She may identify with it someday soon,” is all his mother says in response.

And Eric tries to let it go. He really does. But he can’t.

“I need to get out of this room,” he tells her, “Excuse me.”

Lily looks around, “Papa, where are you going?”

“Just downstairs,” he calls out, “I have a surprise for you.”

“Okay!” Lily answers, excited, “I’ll wait here and you come back!”

“Okay!” he tries to respond cheerfully before going to the basement.

When he gets there, although it is petty, throwing the book in the trash is a little satisfying. If Lily asks about it, he’ll buy her another one. But he won’t give his mother the satisfaction, not in this case.

He opens the dryer and pulls Ellie out, squeezing her a few times to make sure she’s completely dry. Holding her behind his back, he takes her upstairs and back into the living room. Lily is standing there, buzzing with a sugar high and excitement, as she waits for her surprise.

“I found something for you,” Eric smiles as he reveals the stuffed animal.

Lily gasps and jumps up and down, “Ellie!!!!”

Eric stifles a laugh as Lily take the elephant’s arms and dances with it, side to side before going around in circles.

“I LOVE her,” Lily announces, “I will keep her forever and carry her always.”

Eric feels his eyes crinkle at that as Lily calms down.

“What did you do today?” she asks him, suppressing a jump.

“Well, after I found out you ditched me, your grandpa and I went out on the sailboat. We had a good time. Grandpa jumped off the boat into the middle of the ocean.”

Lily’s lip wobbles, “Y-You went on the s-sailboat? But I w-wanted to go on the sailboat with you.”

Lily sniffles and tears build up in her eyes and his father must sense a breakdown coming as well because he quickly comes over.

“Your papa and I were just warming it up for you,” his father insists, ruffling Lily’s hair, “We will sail again this evening, just as the sun is about to set.”

Lily wipes her nose with her hand and stares up at him, “You promise?”

“Of course. And you have to help me prepare when it’s time. You are my co-captain, after all, right?”

Lily nods her head vigorously, “Yes, Yes I am!”

“Uh, Amanda’s coming in with the boys,” Eric mentions, “I...told her I was in. She wanted to come see me and Lily.”

“I’m still co-captain. NOT Julian,” Lily interjects firmly, “He’s still a baby and I am not!”

His dad smirks at that and turns to Eric, “The more the merrier. Amanda can sit with Carlos in the cabin so that he doesn’t fly overboard.”

“James, Carlos is still seven months old,” his mother frets.

“And you, my dear, will be there to make sure all precautions are set and in place,” his dad tells his wife teasingly before sobering up and glancing at the clock, “You’ll all have to excuse me for maybe twenty minutes or so. I have a phone conference starting at 2 so I’ll be in the office. It shouldn’t take long.”

Eric nods and watches his father go towards his study before turning to Lily.

“Lily, why don’t you take some of your things up to my room so we don’t forget them?”

“Okay,” Lily agrees, tucking Ellie against her side as she picks up one of the bags.

Eric waits for her to disappear up the stairs before turning to his mother.

“Don’t you ever take my daughter without my permission again.”

His mother glares, “Hijo, you were fast asleep. You needed the rest and she was restless.”

“I understand that. My point still stands. If you plan on taking her anywhere and I don’t know about it? You do everything to make sure I know. If you think there’s a chance that I am still half asleep or won’t remember then you don’t get to take her. And if there’s no way to reach you while you have her, then you won’t even have the privilege of spending time one-on-one with her.”

His mom stares at him, hard and challenging, as if she won’t back down and submit to the rules put in place. But Eric won’t step down either. They’re more alike than she realizes.

“Do you understand?” Eric asks her after a beat.

The woman purses her lips and gives a slight nod once, “Si.”

“Eso es bueno,” Eric answers, faking a little bit of kindness, “Has Lily had lunch?”

“Of course she’s had lunch,” his mother answers, offended, “I took her to an El Cerro Grande. She got fish tacos. Our leftovers are in this bag.”

“I was just wondering if I should make something for her,” Eric defends himself, holding his hands up, “I guess I can just make something for me and Dad.”

Louisa waves him off, “Lily and I got you both salads and some chips and guac to share. It’s not as good as my food but it’s okay.”

Eric has to let out a laugh at that. Louisa Davisson has never been one to be modest when it comes to her cooking. She had no reason to be.

“I’m sure I can stomach it, at least for today,” he winks, unconsciously putting a hand on her shoulder, which only gives him an uncomfortable look in return, as if his own mother wants to flinch away.

He puts his hand down pretty quickly after that and swallows his bitterness about it.

“Everything out of the car?” he asks her, voice straining.

“There are a couple of bags of Lily’s,” she answers, “Dresses, shoes. She’s very feminine, isn’t she?”

“For the most part,” he agrees, “Her best friend is a boy, so she sometimes will force herself to be a tomboy when it’s his turn to choose what they’ll play. The only things I can think of that she really likes that aren’t considered, I don’t know, girly, I guess, are building blocks and legos.”

“Does she like to build things like you did? As you still do, I suppose,” His mother asks, genuinely wanting to know.

Eric feels a sense of pride when he nods his head, “She does. And she has an eye for it too. She has a lot of other interests. Flamenco classes are a big thing with her right now. She likes to help with cooking and baking. She likes being in front of the camera and ‘making shows’ as she calls it and is interested in Brian’s film cameras. But you never know. She may follow in my footsteps.”

“Hopefully only in some ways,” his mother answers, not so subtly.

Eric has to force himself to take a breath in order to not say something he will regret and bites the inside of his cheek.

“I’ll get the bags,” he mutters before walking out to the front of the garage. He takes his time going back into the house and, by the time he’s back in the living room, his mother can be heard walking around in the kitchen.

His stomach rumbles but his stubbornness wins out. Maybe he can bring himself to be around her by the time dinner is on the table.

He finds Lily upstairs, sitting on the bed in a circle with Ellie, her Toymail, a Selena Gomez Barbie doll he had gotten her for her birthday, and a fucking Voodoo doll that the twins had gotten her at a museum gift shop while they were watching her on one of his busier days in New Orleans.

“Daddy, come sit down,” she insists, moving Selena aside so that she can pat the place next to her, “We’re all talkin’ about our problems.”

Eric studies her incredulously and tilts his head, “What...huh? Where did you see that?”

Lily gives him a look, “TV! With Emmett and Duncan. It was bunches of people and they sat around and cried and stuff then one of them yelled a lot and-”

“I have got to get Emmett to stop watching Celebrity Rehab in front of you,” Eric sighs as he sits down, “Well? Who’s going to go first?”

Lily straightens her posture, “It’s time for our group talk. Ellie, you go first. What’s wrong today, Ellie?”

Lily donned a wobbly voice as she picked Ellie up to act as a puppeteer.

“Boo hoo hoo! I was in an attic forever and ever and now I am old-”

“No one bleeping cares!” Lily had her toymail jump in, “You’re a bleeping baby and it’s bleeping sad that you can’t-”

“Let her talk!” Selena Gomez had jumped in, “You are mean!”

“Bleep Bleep Bleepedy Bleep! I’m gonna throw a bleeping chair! Bleeeeeeeeeep-”

“Okay, let’s not play this game anymore,” Eric interrupts, taking the toymail from her grasp and setting down on the end table.

Lily crosses her arms and pouts, “You’re no fun.”

Eric just shakes his head as he pulls out his phone.

Celebrity Rehab? With Lily? Really, Emmett?

It only takes thirty seconds for a response.

She and Duncan had come downstairs early!
It was a weekend marathon! She only saw a
few minutes!!!!!!!!! It was like a month ago! Why?
What’s she doing? Have you heard from Brian
yet?

Eric squints at his phone and types back

She’s having a colorful session of group
therapy with her toys. I heard from him this
morning. Why?

Eric watches the ellipsis bubble pop up on the screen for over a minute before receiving a simple response.

Just checking! I have a meeting in Manhattan
and need to tell Duncan to get his trunks on.
Drew is taking him to the Aquatics center for
swim class. Ttyl?

Yeah, ttyl. Give Duncan a hug from me

Will do! Byeeeeeeeeeeeee

“Papa!”

Eric turns to look at his daughter and sees her waiting impatiently.

“Since you said I can’t play my game, what am I ‘posed to do now?”

Eric rolls his eyes and stands up.

“I need to eat. Want to come with me to the kitchen to get my meal?”

Lily gives him a look, “So that I can watch you eat? That’s not fun. That’s boring.”

“We’ll think of something fun to do, I promise,” Eric tells her, holding out his hand.

Lily purses her lips and takes his hand grudgingly.

“Fine. But you better be promisin’ for real. Because fun’s important, Papa.”

“Of course.”

Lily follows him down the stairs and Eric manages not to converse much with his mom as he gets his meal out. It’s good that Lily is a talker because she keeps her grandmother occupied to the point where it really isn’t awkward for Eric to stay silent as he transfers his meal into a bowl.

He and Lily sit in loungers by the pool as he eats his meal. He gives in and lets Lily play around on the steps leading into the shallow water so that she can splash and cool off. He ends up getting her into her swimsuit and sundress after finishing off his salad and smothering her skin with sunscreen so that they can drive to the beach. He finds a blanket in the pool shed and a couple of towels as well as a sandcastle kit and a bodyboard. He decides to take her to Caswell Beach since it is closer and has easier access, even though he has always preferred the beaches on the other side of Oak Island more. Maybe he can take her tomorrow and show her a few places he used to love to go to.

Lily takes more quickly to the ocean than she did last year. It takes several steps back but soon enough, she is having a blast, holding onto his hand as he guides her on the body board to ride on the waves washing up near the shore. They spend a couple of hours there before he takes her back to their setup and sees that a text from Amanda waiting for him on his phone.

Where are you??? I came for moral
support, dick.

Eric shakes his head and types out, “Leaving now.”

When they make it back to the house, he is greeted to the sight of his mother smiling fondly at his sister as she holds Carlos and cuddles him close. Julian is running around, giggling infectiously, before spotting Lily.

“Illy!!!!” he squeals, running over to his cousin to topple her over with a hug, “Missed you!”

Lily tsks as she stands back up and brushes herself off, obviously much more mature than the younger boy, “Hi, Julian. You can’t knock people down when you hug them, okay?”

“‘Kay,” Julian nods as he holds her close and looks up at Lily in awe.

Lily pats him on the head awkwardly before walking past the toddler to greet her Aunt Amanda.

“Hi, Aunt Amanda!” she greets in a much more excited voice, “You came to see us?”

Amanda grins and nods as she puts her arms around the girl to set her in her lap, “I did! I couldn’t wait. I missed you, sweetie!”

“I missed you too,” Lily answers, “I missed you more than Uncle George. I miss him too but just not as much.”

Amanda stifles a laugh at that before donning a serious expression, “I’m honored and touched.”

It’s then that Amanda turns to Eric and gives him a smile before standing up, “Want to leave the kids to these geezers for a few minutes?”

“Who are you calling old?” their father snaps without malice as he picks up Julian to hold him by his ankles.

“Dad, be careful!” Amanda frets before letting the matter go as she watches Julian’s face go red with laughter.

“Come on,” she gestures towards the porch, “Let’s go sit out on the swing.”

Eric follows her outside and watches her sit down on the porch swing. The energy built up from today still has him buzzing so he elects to stand.

“How have they been today?” she asks him.

Eric lets out a breath, “I don’t know. Dad’s been...Dad and I actually had a breakthrough, I think. It’s too soon to tell, but he promised me that he was going to try harder and was open to getting know Brian. That’s good, right?”

Amanda looks surprised but nods, “That’s...that’s great, Eric. Who would have thought it would have been him first?”

“Who would have thought that our mom would just turn on me though?” Eric laughs bitterly.

Amanda looks down, “Yeah...I haven’t been able to look at her quite the same since. It’s disappointing and upsetting, because I thought she was above that. I can’t imagine how you feel.”

“She practically flinched when I touched her shoulder a few hours ago. I felt a little bit of affection and she just didn’t...fuck. I don’t know.”

Amanda gives him a sad look, “I wish I could tell you that she’d come around. I know George used to tell you that and I did too when I was older. I don’t know. But maybe if Dad is coming around then maybe he can get her too as well.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Eric mutters, “It hasn’t been all terrible. Lily’s enjoying herself. She loves Dad and went shopping with Mom and, even though I didn’t permit that at all, it seems like she had a nice time with her. That fucking book though-”

“What book?”

Eric laughs bitterly, “Lily picked two books of her choice to buy and Mom picked out two for her as well. One of them was ‘Are you my Mother?’ Can you believe that?”

Amanda lets out a groan but scrambles for an excuse, “Maybe it was just a coincidence. That’s a classic Dr. Suess book, right?”

Eric stares at her incredulously until Amanda puts up her hands in surrender.

“Alright, alright. That’s pretty bad, I’ll admit it. Ignorant, homophobic, bitch move on Mom’s part.”

“No shit. I threw it away.”

Amanda raises an eyebrow at that and stands back up.

“Well, at least know that I’m on your side. I don’t know if being here will change much but hopefully it might make you feel a little better.”

Eric gives her a sad smile and pulls her in to kiss her forehead.

“It does. Thank you.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s not until he is setting the table for dinner that he feels like he’s about to lose it.

“I bet it’s nice to cook and spend time with other ladies, isn’t it, sweetheart?” he overhears his mother say from the kitchen.

He stays partially hidden as he watches his daughter shrug innocently but nod, “Yeah, girl time. Like you said!”

“Mom,” Amanda interrupts in a calm, but warning, tone.

“Do you ever want to have other girls in the house, Lily?” his mom continues, “With it just being your papa and Brian, I’m sure there are times where you would like to talk to a girl.”

Lily shrugs again, steps back, and looks at the floor. Eric can tell she is getting a little confused and uncomfortable.

“...I got Jess. She watches me when Papa and Daddy are at work and I’m home and she’s really nice. And I got Aunt Cynthia and Aunt Amanda and Aunt Lindsay and Aunt Mel and Grandma Debbie. I’m gonna have my baby sister too, really soon. And I got you too, right?”

His mother’s face actually flashes with affection and guilt at that point, “Of course you do, sweetheart. But you don’t have any women who live with you. A girl should have that and I’m sorry that you are getting cheated of it.”

“Mom, that’s enough!” Amanda snaps.

“I’m speaking the truth,” is all that his mother says in return.

“It’s not right-”

“Her not having a mother figure is not right-”

“Mom doesn’t care about what other people feel, Amanda,” Eric sighs, stepping in, “She only cares about her own values.”

Amanda looks helpless as his mother stares at him coldly.

“Just so you know, Mom…” Eric says sadly, “You aren’t the only one who is concerned about that. I think about it from time to time too. But so many people love her. She isn’t lacking for anything and will have so many opportunities that so many other kids can’t even dream of as she gets older. Her life is great. I wish you would see that.”

Eric turns to walk away but feels a little hand slip into his.

“Papa, I want to come with you,” Lily insists, squeezing his fingers as she does so.

Eric squeezes her hand slightly in return, “Honey, I’m only going upstairs for a few minutes-”

“I want to go with you.”

Eric bites his lip and nods, “Okay.”

Lily stays by his side dutifully as they go up the stairs together to take a quick breather. She’s unnaturally quiet and Eric has to wonder if she is mulling over her grandmother’s words. It’s possible that she’s been suspicious before this even. It has been easy to put off telling her the ins and outs of how she came to be. She has known that a woman carried her but hasn’t questioned anything past that. Brian’s whole family was basically made up of gay couples and in both Chicago and New York the assortment of families were so varied and mixed that Lily never found someone else’s family dynamic odd or out of the norm. So, while she had so many questions about everything else, she never really questioned why she had two dads and no mom.

Before either of them could say anything to each other, Eric’s phone starts ringing and Brian’s name comes up on the screen.

“It’s your daddy,” he tells her, “I’m going to talk to him for a couple of minutes and you two can talk right after, okay?”

“Okay,” Lily agrees, surprisingly not holding a debate over it.

“Hey,” Eric answers, a little more wobbly than he means to.

“Things any better today?” Brian asks him.

“I thought they were going to be,” Eric sighs, stepping into the bathroom for a little privacy, “They were for a little bit. But no. Not now.”

Brian waits a beat then clears his throat, “What are you doing now?”

“Hiding out in the bathroom, biding my time until dinner. Lily showed some camaraderie. She’s in my room waiting too, despite Julian and Carlos being downstairs.

Brian hums in response, “What caused you to hide in the bathroom?”

Eric sighs, “...It’s a long story. I don’t feel like talking about it. Fuck, I just need to clear my head and I think I might be okay for a while.”

“Why don’t you step out on the porch? You told me you used to sit on the swing to think and read and shit when you were young, right? Maybe that will help.”

“That would require me to go back downstairs.”

“Don’t be a pussy. You’ll have to go down anyway. Just get some fresh air.”

Eric scoffs at the delivery of his husband’s advice and heads back into his room to retrieve Lily, phone cradled in the crook of his neck.

“Want to go outside for a few minutes?” He asks her, “You can facetime with Daddy on the swing and show him the view of the bay.”

Lily jumps up and nods, “That’s a good idea. Come on!”

The two of them start to make their way down the stairs as Brian says, “See? Our daughter knows I come up with good ideas.”

“From time to time, I suppose,” Eric agrees, opening the front door, “But I doubt fresh air is going to do much other than-”

“DADDY!!!!!!!!”

Eric glances down at Lily in confusion as she takes off running, as his eyes follow her, he sees Brian standing there, donning a pair of aviators, and leaning against a black Porsche.

He doesn’t even notice his phone dropping from his grasp until it hits the ground.

In a daze, he approaches his husband, who is now holding their daughter tight as she smothers the man’s face in kisses.

“You...You are-”

“Never took you as the type to be at a loss for words,” Brian smirks, putting Lily down, “I am what? Incredible? Dashing? Handsome? Sex-”

Brian doesn’t get to finish his guessing as Eric surges forward to cut him off with an all-consuming kiss.

“All of the above,” Eric finishes before feeling slightly emotional, “I can’t believe you came down here.”

Brian’s expression grows more serious, “Of course I did. I booked the tickets and arranged for a rental car as soon as you fell asleep last night.

Eric lifts the sunglasses off of Brian’s face and puts his hands on his husband’s cheeks to look him directly in the eye.

“I love you. God, I love you so much, Brian”

Brian bites his lip, “You know I love you too. I’m fucking pissed at you but I still love you.”

With that, Brian straightens up and stares at the house.

“What do you say we go inside? I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to see me.”