I was wrong, at the end you're not alone. The person who loved you most sits beside you and helps make letting go easier. I look at him, he'll be forever young and beautiful. He never had a chance to age, his smile still lights up a room. I lay there and watch as he wanders around the room and looks at everyone. I hope he is happy to meet Sunny, Gus named his oldest daughter in honor of Justin. I wonder what he thinks of all of us.

I know I was angry at everyone after Justin was killed. I wanted to blame the world for taking him. I should have manned up and told him to stay with me. I was wrong, it wasn't only time. He smiles at Emmett and puts his hand on the man’s shoulder, I see Emmett smile for a second, that's good. I don’t want them to remember my last breath. I want them to see Justin and I dancing in Babylon, to remember that when we were in a room together, no one else mattered to us. We were the real explosion, not a bomb.

Michael is crying and I want to open my mouth and tell him to stop whining, Justin is here and I want him to see us happy. I can’t talk through the breathing tube. I hate that Gus is going to have to sign the papers to finally let me go. I took Michael off as my proxy because he would probably keep me alive just so he can come and talk me to death. He did it to Ben. Ben was in the final stages of the AIDS virus and his body was shutting down. Michael wanted to keep him on life support. I finally had to tell him that even if there was a cure for AIDs, it wouldn’t help multiorgan shut down. It was still over a week before Ben decided for him. I don’t want to hang on when I can finally have Justin back. I see him making faces at Sunny’s new son. The baby giggles and everyone looks and smiles. “Thank you, Justin,” I tell him. Justin nods and giggles when baby Brian reaches for his nose. Justin walks over and sits on the bed next to me, it’s time to go, is what he’s telling me. I want to hear him talk, listen to him breathe in bed next to me, but I gave that chance up, with a ticket on the wrong plane to New York.

If I could go back, I’d tell Lindsay to kiss my ass when she told me about the review. If I had just stopped trying to let Justin go, I would have gotten to see him age. Eventually been able to marry him, let him have a kid if he wanted one, and lived in the house that I locked up the day the plane crashed. Justin leans down and puts his forehead against mine. I look into the eyes I dream about every night and tell him I want to be where he is, so we can finish what we never got to start.

I hear Michael screaming for the doctors to do something. Michael climbs in the bed and starts kissing my face and begging me to stay. I want him to get the fuck away from me, he told me to let Justin go and be Brian Kinney, always young, always beautiful. I wanted to be Justin’s Brian, the flawed man, the man Justin loved no matter what I did. Justin, who didn’t act like I was perfect. He faced the world and told them and me to accept him or walk away. He didn’t ever really need me, he wanted me. I didn’t have to hold him up, I didn’t owe him for loving me. I turn to look at Gus one last time. He smiles and leans down, “Da, I love you. Go find Justin and be happy.” Gus tells me. Michael tells Gus to stop saying good-bye. I wrap my fingers around Gus’s and take his advice.

I can barely see anymore, but when he walks back to me, it's like the clouds lift and everything is illuminated. I am standing next to him and grab his hand. I want to hold him and feel the man who was the only person I ever really loved. He was the other half of my soul.

Justin smiled at me, “You get a choice. We leave and go join the party in another plane or you can try to do it all again.” He tells me.

“Do what all over again?” I ask him.

“Your life, you can go back to before we meet and we do it again and hopefully get it right.” Justin tells me.

“What did you do?” I ask him

“I waited for you.” He tells me.

“Is it going to be the same?” I ask him.

“I don’t know. If you choose to go back, I’ll be there but I won’t remember you or anything that is going to happen.” Justin tells me.

“Am I going to remember?” I ask him.

“Yes, but it’s going to be up to you what direction you go in, if you stop and pick me up or if you pass me by.” Justin tells me.

“Why aren’t you going to remember?” I ask him.

“I waited too long to make a choice, so you get to make our lives the way you want. If you want to go through the bashing, Ethan, Hollywood, or anything, we go through it.” Justin tells me.

“What if I want to start our life together the night we meet.” I ask him.

“Than we do, but remember, one change changes other things. Vic told me that you’ll be sent back to about a month before I walk on Liberty Avenue, if you decide to go back.” Justin tells me.

“You’ve seen Vic?” I ask him.

“Yeah, I told him the senior citizens Babylon was just wrong.” Justin laughs.

“If I stay, are we together?” I ask him.

“We are until one of us gets sent back.” Justin tells me.

“Sent back, why can’t you go now.” I want us to go together.

“We wouldn’t be this Brian and Justin anymore. Our souls are destined to find each other always, but we could be a man and woman, or two women or two men. There are no guarantees.” Justin tells me.

“I want the guarantees. I want us.” I tell him.

“Then go back to twenty-nine and find me.” Justin tells me.

I look and see a dance floor and we are both in tuxedos. “Just promise me to come to my prom, no matter what happens, I want to dance this dance again.” Justin tells me.

We start dancing and the moves are fluid, I spin him and kiss his lips.”I love you.” I told him.

“I always knew, no matter what was happening, I always knew. I love you too.” Justin tells me.

I start to feel him pull away and I tell him, “We are going to get our story, and it’s going to be glorious.”

BRIAN

I woke up in bed and thought ‘no more drugs from Anita’. I look to see Mikey, laying on Justin’s side of the bed and want to kick his ass. I shove him to wake him up.

“Mikey get off the bed, only Justin sleeps there.” I tell him.

“Fuck Brian, you need to lay off the E, who the fuck is Justin?” He whines.

“Justin, you know, my partner.” I tell him.

“Very funny, Mr Commitmentphobe.” Mikey tells me.

“I am very capable of commitment. Justin and I have been together for years.” I tell him.

“Brian is this you afraid of getting older again? Who the fuck is Justin?” Mikey asks again.

I lay back down and remember Justin telling me that I would go back to a month before we meet. I look at Mikey and he is giving me the moon eyed look, damn I have to deal with this again. I think this time I’ll encourage Mikey to find a boyfriend, I don’t want to waste time trying to keep us children.

“Lindsay doesn’t have an appointment today does she?” I ask him.

“No, it was yesterday. Remember you and I went out and got wasted when you saw the baby in the ultrasound.” Mikey tells me.

“Yeah, sorry, Anita had some strong shit last night. I guess I better get to work.” I tell him.

“Brian it’s Saturday, no work. Take me to breakfast.” Mikey begs me.

“I have to go do something, want to meet for lunch later?” I ask him.

“I guess so, why can’t we just hang out together. I’m off from Big Q, until tomorrow night.” Mikey whines.

“I told Ryder I’d check the boards for my meeting Monday.” I tell him.

“Why bother, you’ll just fuck the breeder and get the account.” He tells me.

I finally shove Mikey out the door. I have a visit to make, I want to see him. I get dressed and run down to my Jeep. I drove to his neighborhood and pass the house. I park down the street and wait to see if he comes out. I have all day to see the boy, who will become my soul.

“Yes Mom, I’ll be back for lunch.” Justin yells.

I watch him walk out the door and walk to the street. I sat in my Jeep and look at him, my God he was young. Justin looks at my Jeep and smiles, I want to walk up to him and tell him we can change his life today. I was going to do it, but Daphne pulls up and Justin hops in and leaves. I start my Jeep and follow them until they get to Daphne’s house. I didn’t want them to think I was following them so I headed to the diner. This month is going to be longer than ever.

I walk in and there’s Deb, “Morning, Michael is going to pissed, he said you were meeting for lunch.” She tells me.

“No, I thought I would just hang out with a red hot mama.” I tell her.

“Brian, don’t offer Deb dick, she hasn’t seen one in forever and you might be biting off more than you can chew.” Vic jokes.

I want to hug them both, Vic because he’s been gone so long. Deb because we lost her and Carl in a car accident. I look to see Lindsay coming in with Smelly Melly. I have to remember Justin didn’t die in a plane crash, so me being pissed at Lindsay isn’t going make any sense to her.

“Brian, have lunch with us. Our baby is really kicking.” Lindsey tell me.

“You mean OUR baby, right Lindsey.” Mel tells her.

“You know what I mean Mel.” Lindsey tells her.

“I’d love to, but I would lose my appetite if Mel and I have to duel dicks for the honor of calling my progeny our child.” I just don’t want to spend time with them. Once Gus is born it will be different.

Ted and Emmett walk in and I walk over and hug Ted and kiss Emmett. It’ll keep them guessing.

“Hey, tell Mikey I had a date and couldn’t make it.” I tell Ted.

“Sure, blond or brunet?” Ted snarks.

“Blond, definitely blond.” I tell him.